Desire
by MxKoli
Summary: Olivia shows up at Ed’s house in a trench coat, thigh highs, and heels. What happens next?
1. Ow, Good

**New fic, loosely based on a small part of an episode of Private Practice. Very PWP, lots of smut. I own nothing but my own ideas.**

Olivia walked down the street in the crisp spring air. Lucy was watching Noah and she had taken the night off, leaving the squad in Fin's capable hands, assuring him she'd be back in the morning. She arrived at the apartment building and tightened the belt of her trench coat before walking in the door.

Her black patent leather heels clicked against the floor as she walked to the elevator. Once inside she looked down at herself, her nerves building up in her gut, what if she made the wrong call? The elevator dinged and the doors opened and she stepped out and walked down to his door, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves before raising her fist and knocking on the door.

The door opened to the ice blue eyes that made her falter. Ed looked at her appearance. The trench coat, the heels, the fishnet stockings, the waves in her hair, the bright red on her lips. "Liv," he let out a breath.

Olivia smirked, loving that she still had the ability to render him speechless, which gave her some confidence. "You gonna invite me inside or stand here drooling over me all night?" She asked with a voice that was deeper than she planned.

Ed stepped aside so she could step inside, closing the door behind her. He looked her up and down. "Liv, what are you—" she cut him off and pushed him against the door and kissed him hard. He was shocked at first, but soon surrendered to the kiss.

She smiled into this kiss before pulling away, and letting the belt fall open revealing her naked body underneath, with the exception of her fishnet thigh highs,and she bit her lip. "If you don't want me, I'll leave. But I want you." She let the trench coat fall to the floor and looked into his eyes. "Ball's in your court, Ed."

He looked over her body and ran his rough fingers over her smooth skin, causing her to take a sharp inhale of breath. "You're beautiful," he whispered and caressed her face. He leaned in and kissed her passionately, feeling her arms around his body. He picked her up and moved quickly, pushing against the wall.

"Ow," Olivia groaned and arched her back.

"Ow, bad?" Ed asked as his lips devoured her neck.

"Ow, good." She moaned and smiled. She ran her fingers through his hair and looked over his body. "You're a tad overdressed, don't you think?" She felt her feet hit the floor and she ran her hands under his shirt, pushing it up and taking it off before pulling him into another kiss.

He grabbed her ass as she went to work unbuttoning his pants. She groaned into the kiss as she pushed his pants and boxers down, running her hands over his abs, he broke the kiss and started kissing her neck. "You're so sexy," he whispered in her ear.

Olivia sighed and pulled him closer, she leaned in and whispered in his ear with a smile, "Fuck me."

Ed pushed her back up against the wall, one hand resting beside her head. "Right here, against the wall?"

She bit her lip and nodded. "Hard and fast; I want you to make me scream." She pulled him in for another kiss, feeling him pick her up again, feeling him hard against her outer lips. She groaned and scratched the back of his head.

He pushed inside of her quickly, her lips tore from his and she moaned. "God you feel amazing," he whispered, starting to thrust inside of her.

Olivia gasped as she felt him start to move. "Oh, Ed." She felt his free hand squeeze her breast. "Harder," she begged him. "Please, Ed," she arched her back as he obliged her request. "Oh, God, yes!"

Ed smirked as he watched her writhing in pleasure as he pounded into her as she begged him to do. His fingertips ran over her skin, hot to the touch, glistening with perspiration. He leaned in and ran his tongue over her collarbone. He heard her moan and he smirked. "That's it baby, tell me what you want."

"Don't stop!" She insisted in a harsh whisper. "Fuck, baby." Her head fell against his shoulder. Her heart was beating in her chest, her breath coming in heavy pants. She bit on his shoulder and heard his groan. She smiled and looked into his eyes, before opening her mouth in a silent scream as he hit a particularly sensitive spot inside her.

He smirked. "Right there?" He heard her whimper and he captured her lips once more, he took her hands in his and pressed her arms against the wall, feeling her body arch into his.

Olivia tore her lips away from Ed's letting out a breath and moaning, closing her eyes, her head falling against the wall. "I'm so close." She wrapped her legs tighter around his waist, pulling his body as close as possible to hers as he steered thrusting harder and faster. "Baby! Oh, God I'm not going to last much longer." She looked into his eyes and bit her lip.

Ed groaned and released one of her hands and started massaging her breast, her back arching even further into him. "Come on, Liv. I'm right behind you." He grunted and rested his forehead against hers. "Let go baby."

She closed her eyes as her body started to shake as her orgasm tore through her, her head thrown back as she rode out her orgasm, a flush flooding her chest. "Ed!" She pulled her other arm from his grasp, gripping his strong back, clawing at it as waves of pleasure overtook her body.

He watched her orgasm and within moments he spilled inside her. Once they both finished he held her up against the wall, their faces buried in the crook of each other's necks, panting.

Olivia smiled and kissed his shoulder. "Thank you," she whispered and rested her forehead against his, tendrils of hair stuck to her forehead with sweat. "Oh, thank you."

Ed kissed her neck and nuzzled into her. "That was nice." They shared a chuckle. "Not that I'm complaining but what—"

She put her finger to his lips. "I missed you." She shrugged. "I miss you. Not just the sex, but, God it's like we didn't miss a beat, I just… I miss us." She looked into his eyes, putting her feet on the floor.

He caressed her face and nuzzled into his palm. He used his other hand to tuck her hair behind her ears. "I miss us, too. I miss you, all of you. Noah, but you—"

"I know," Olivia stopped him. "And I still need to have Noah be my first priority. He's my son. But there's no reason I can't have Noah, and you, and the job. I'm just not ready to give that part of me up. Especially when I don't have someone to smell the flowers with."

Ed kissed her nose and wiped at the tears that he saw threatening to fall from her eyes. "Hey, I get it. I always wanted to be there, and I shouldn't have walked away. I thought that's what you wanted, but if you want… we could start fresh."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Even though we just had mind blowing sex? We can start fresh?" She cocked her eyebrow.

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Yeah. So we skipped a couple of steps this time, before we got to sex. How about I take you on a date? A first date? Only this time, no awkwardness."

Olivia bit her bottom lip and smiled. "I'd like that. Only if you promise I'll get at least a kiss."

Ed growled and smiled. "I can promise more than that." They shared a chuckle. "Liv, whatever you want, okay?"

She smiled. "Okay," she kissed him softly. "Well, I have Lucy for a few more hours, nightcap?" She looked into his eyes.

He kissed her again. "How about we both go relieve Lucy and have that nightcap at your house? Then whatever happens, happens, and that way we don't have to worry about you falling asleep here?"

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "You planning to do something that's going to make me tired, Captain?" She asked coyly.

Ed smirked. "All night," he whispered in her ear. He felt her shiver and he smirked. "You want to borrow some clothes? It's getting pretty chilly out there."

She bit her bottom lip. "How about we stay here just a little longer? Noah will be asleep when we get back and I just want you to bring me to the heights of ecstasy again and again and again tonight, but I need at least one more time of not having to worry about how loud I get when you do." She grinned and felt his lips on hers. She pushed on his chest and walked him back to the couch. "Worst case scenario I text Lucy and say I need a little more time." She pushed him down and straddled him.

He looked up at her, his hands running over her thighs. "I think I can get you to scream a few more times," he kissed her neck and ran his hand up her back, tangling it in her hair.

Moaning, Olivia started gently rocking her hips into his. "Oh I know you can." She pulled him away from her neck and looked into his eyes, caressing his face. "Can I tell you something?" She asked softly. She saw him nod. "There hasn't been anyone since you. But, I've had… urges," she smiled and shrugged. "I always thought of you," she whispered in his ear.

Ed let out a groan and closed his eyes. "Yeah? What'd you think about?" He asked, his throat and mouth dry at the thought of what she was implying.

She grinned, she knew she had him hooked. "Well, it depended on how intense my desire was." She ran her fingers over his chest. "It would start off with something small like remembering how your biceps would strain against your shirt when you lifted anything, the way you kissed my lips… all over my body," she closed her eyes and ran her hand over her throat. She was getting aroused talking about it and she could feel he was, too. "The feeling of you inside me." She opened her eyes, darkened with lust. "I couldn't help but touch myself. But it never compared to what you made me feel, what you still make me feel," she whispered and kissed him passionately.

He groaned and kissed down her neck, hearing her gasp, her head falling back. He grinned. "Never in my life have I heard anything sexier than that. Fuck, Liv, Just thinking about it."

Olivia smiled. "Well, we both better do something about our arousal or I'm just gonna have to touch myself to find a release." She heard Ed groan and she cocked her eyebrow. "Oh, I see. You want to watch me." She grinned. "Oh, this is going to be fun." She ran her finger down his chest. "One condition."

Ed groaned and kissed her chest and kissed p her neck. "Name it. Whatever you want baby."

With one swift move of her arm she cleared the magazines off his coffee table and sat down facing him. "You watch me, I watch you." She grinned and put her hair in a ponytail and leaned back.

He watched her move, and he nodded, his erection throbbing. He heard her giggle and watched her spread her legs and rest on one hand as her other started teasing her nipples before finding her soaking wet core. He groaned and sank further into the couch, starting to stroke his dick. "Oh, Liv," he groaned, watching her starting to finger herself.

Olivia watched his hand and she matched his pace. She let her eyes travel up his body and locked eyes with him as they brought themselves closer and closer to the edge. "Fuck!" She cried out. Their pace was agonizingly slow. "Ed, I need more, faster. I need you to go faster, too. Please!" She groaned and heard him inhale sharply.

Ed couldn't tear is eyes off her. She was so sexy. "I'll go faster if you go harder." He grunted as he watched her. "I want you to fuck your pussy hard and fast. Make yourself come for me."

She let out a whiny moan. She started moving her fingers harder and faster inside of herself. "Oh, Ed!" She cried out in pleasure. "Oh right there," she gasped and closed her eyes. "Baby, yes! I'm gonna come. I want to watch you come, baby, please." Her thumb started flicking across her clit, gasping. "Ed!" She cried as her orgasm tore through her body.

He watched as her orgasm tore through her, leaving her writhing on his coffee table, the room filled with her cries and moans of ecstasy. This only egged him on more, and before long, he felt his release shoot out of him and he groaned. "Fuck, baby come here."

Olivia squealed as he picked her up and started kissing her passionately. She returned the kiss with equal fervor and gently scratched the nape of his neck. She broke the kiss and nuzzled into him. "You, Ed Tucker, are amazing." She caressed his face, feeling him carry her into the bedroom and rest her on his bed.

Ed nuzzled her nose. "That's you. It's always been you." He tucked her hair behind her ear and ran his finger tips over her skin. "I never should have walked out," he whispered.

She smiled. "I never should have let you." She looked over at his clock. "I should text Lucy and see if she can stay a little later, I'll be back in a second," she leaned up and kissed him softly.

He watched her saunter out of the room, and lay on his back, looking at the ceiling, waiting for her to come back. "Don't mess this up again Tucker," he whispered to himself.

Olivia walked back into the room, holding her phone "Talkin' to yourself now, Captain?" She asked with a smirk as she sidled up up him in bed. She put her phone on the bedside table.

Ed smiled and kissed her shoulder. "Just reminding myself not to screw up again, with you." He wrapped his arm around her waist. "What'd Lucy say?"

She smirked. "When I told her who I was out with and asked if she could stay a little later she told me to take the night, she'd take care of Noah." She kissed his lips softly.

He grabbed her and rolled into his back, pulling her on top of him. "So we can be as loud as we want for the rest of the night?"

Olivia smirked and kissed his neck. "Christen your apartment? The bed? The shower? Kitchen? Your neighbors are going to hate me in the morning." She whispered and gently bit his earlobe. "But I am going to be so satisfied, and hopefully you will be to."

Ed ran his hands up and down her sides and her back. "I absolutely will be, and to hell with the neighbors. The most beautiful woman in the world is mine, and I'm going to make sure she's more than satisfied."

She kissed him softly. "Well, let's get started," she whispered and kissed down his body.

 **A/N: thanks for reading. Leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay). May be a 2 shot. We'll see where it goes.**


	2. Sorry

**I'm so glad so many of you like this. Here's part 2! Enjoy!**

Olivia fell forward onto the pillows, groaning as her orgasm finished. She felt Ed's weight on top of her and she let out a moan. "God, what you do to me." She closed her eyes. "I'm not going to be able to walk tomorrow," she felt his lips on her shoulder and she smiled.

Ed kissed up to her ear. "So stay in bed with me all day tomorrow. Take a sick day." He ran his hand over her back.

She smiled and looked back at him, smirking. "I can stay in bed most of the day, but not all day. I have Noah."

He moved the hair off her neck, gently kissing it, sending a shiver down her spine. "I'll take every single second I can get with you," He whispered, hearing her let out a moan.

Olivia buried her head in the pillow, hiding her face from him, silently begging her tears not to fall. "I'm sorry," she whispered into the pillow case.

Ed coaxed her to look at him, seeing the tears in her eyes. "Liv, baby, what's wrong?"

She shook her head. "It's nothing, it's… it's stupid." She wiped her eyes, and caressed his face, looking into his eyes.

He kissed her forehead. "Hey, if you're upset about it it's not nothing, and it's not stupid. Talk to me." He sat them up and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

Olivia hung her head and nodded. "I never should have let you walk away. I know you keep saying you never should have left, but I should have stopped you. I mean, damn it Ed, we could have been married by now, who knows where we could have been, what incredible things could have happened." Tears were streaming down her face.

Ed pulled her close and hugged her tightly. "Listen to me, I know we've been back together for a few hours, not even a whole night yet, but I know in my heart that I want to be with you, for as long as you'll have me."

She held onto him tightly. "Don't ever let me go again," she whispered and nuzzled into his neck. "I was so stupid to let you walk away," she looked into his eyes. "But all I ever wanted was for you to be happy and I didn't think I was good enough for you," she sobbed and fled him hold her tighter.

He rubbed her back and whispered softly into her ear, "It's okay, I'm right here. It's okay." He kissed the side of her head. "Just breathe," he whispered.

Olivia nodded and took a few deep breaths. "I'm sorry. I ruined the mood." She wiped her eyes and ran her hands over his chest. "I… Ed, I've…" She took his hand in hers. She smiled and kissed his fingers. "I've loved you for a long time. The moment you invited me to try the bourbon in that bar, I started falling for you, and I haven't stopped." She kissed him gently. "I didn't tell you when you walked out because I didn't want you to feel like you had to stay. I didn't want you to wind up hating me for trapping you in a relationship if you didn't want to be in it."

Ed kissed her softly and ran his fingertips over the backs of her arms. "Olivia Margaret Benson, I've loved you for so long. Even before that night when I asked you to let me buy you a drink. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of Cassidy, and that me being such a dick to him didn't have anything to do with that jealousy. And I could never hate you, and you could never trap me into a relationship with you. Okay?" He saw her nod and kissed her again. "You must be starving," he whispered and rested his forehead against hers. "How about we order in?"

She smiled and blushed, then ran her fingers over his chest. "That sounds perfect." She bit her bottom lip. "You were jealous of Cassidy?" She smiled and saw his sheepish grin. She giggled and leaned in to whisper. "No need to be jealous." She raised an eyebrow and winked.

He gripped her hips and started kissing her neck. "Not anymore, because I'm the one who gets to do this to you," He whispered in her ear, his hands running over her thighs.

Olivia let out a gentle moan. "I've never been as self conscious with you as I was with him." She caressed his face. "You have always looked at me like I am the sexiest woman you've ever seen," she looked down. "I can't say the same about Brian."

Ed lifted her chin. "Because you are the sexiest woman I've ever seen." He saw her smile and he returned it. "And if Cassidy couldn't see that, then the man is blind."

She shrugged. "He used to. Before Lewis. The first time he saw the scars… he couldn't… he couldn't look at me. After that, I wore a shirt when we had sex. It wasn't the same. Lewis changed my body forever. I have scars that won't ever go away. Physical and mental, but when I'm with you, it's like I don't even have them. I forget about them. Because of how you look at me, I feel beautiful." She smiled and wrapped her arms around him.

He listened to her speak about Lewis, like he always did. He let her talk about it, never cutting her off or hurrying her along because he didn't want to think about it. "Lewis was a sick son of a bitch, but you survived. Every scar, Liv, maybe they can be looked at reminders of what he did, but they can be looked at as reminders of what you survived, the work you put in to get to where you are right now. I know living with what he did isn't always easy, and I am here for you every step of the way. Whether you need me to hold you, let you scream, cry, or just need me to remind you how beautiful you are to me, every day."

Olivia caressed his face. "You make me feel safe," she whispered and pressed her body against his, kissing him passionately. "We should order food before it gets too late," she mumbled against his lips. "I'm in the mood for something spicy," she purred into his ear.

Ed groaned and grabbed her ass, pulling her closer. "You're a fucking tease," he whispered, suckling softly on her neck, hearing her groan. "We better order before I continue to ravish you."

She closed her eyes and relished in the feel of his lips on her skin for a moment longer. "Okay, okay," she whispered and pulled him away from her neck. "Food, then play." She leaned in and whispered, "I promise." She winked and climbed off of him. She opened his drawers and picked out one of his t-shirts, slipping it over her head and wrapping her arms around herself. "Comfy."

He looked her over and smiled. "You look better in my clothes than I do." He got up and walked over to her. "I've missed you," He whispered and hugged her tightly.

Olivia let out a content sigh and closed her eyes. "I've missed you, too." She responded softly. She pulled back and looked into his eyes. "Come on, let's get some food, get our energy up. I don't know about you, but I don't plan on sleeping tonight."

Ed smirked. "I don't plan on sleeping tonight either." He grabbed a pair of boxers and slipped them on. They walked into the living room and looked over takeout menus before deciding on dinner and placing an order. "Now, what to do for 45 mi—" he was cut off by Olivia's lips.

She straddled his lap and gently nipped at his bottom lip. "Kiss me," she let out a breath as their kiss continued to heat up, his hands roaming her body under his shirt. She moaned and pulled away softly. "Mm, so good." She grinned and bit her bottom lip.

He groaned and gently pushed his hips up, grinding his growing erection against her clit. "You drive me crazy."

Olivia grinned and gently kissed him, slowing down the pace of their kiss considerably. "I love you."

Ed wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her close, looking into her eyes. "I love you, too." He kissed her softly, relaxing into the kiss that was no longer animalistic, but slow and romantic, and that's exactly how they stayed until their food arrived, wrapped in each other's arms, kissing. Once there was a knock on the door, they pulled away from each other and let out a breath. "I'll get the food," he kissed her once more and they untangled themselves from one another.

She grabbed the plates and utensils while Ed got the food and brought it in the kitchen. "Mm, I'm starved." She smiled and grabbed a couple of tumblers out of the cupboard. "Bourbon with dinner?"

He kissed her head. "You read my mind." He served their food and watched as she moved around his kitchen, pouring them some of the rich amber liquid she found in his cabinet. "I could watch you all day, you know that?"

Olivia picked up both glasses and handed him one, a smile on her face. "To new beginnings," she held up her glass, clinking them together, taking a sip of the bourbon. "Mm, I forgot how much I like bourbon."

They stood around the island, Ed handed her a plate as they ate their food. "How long has it been since you've had bourbon?" He asked her between bites.

She took another sip, a small smile on her face. "The last time we drank some together," she bit her bottom lip. "I tried," she whispered. "God, there were days I wanted the smooth burn of the bourbon in my cabinet, but even just opening the bottle I'd nearly burst into tears. I went back to wine." She shrugged.

He smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Well, now you can have as much bourbon as you want."

Olivia smiled and took another sip. "You know what tastes so good with bourbon?" She asked with a smirk, wrapping one arm around him. "Your kisses," she whispered and kissed him passionately, letting out a moan.

Ed held her before pulling away. "Tastes good on you, too." He lifted her onto the counter. "Let's go away for a weekend. Lock ourselves away with some food, plenty of bourbon, and a bed. We don't even need to bring clothes."

She smirked. "Not even that little red thing you like so much," she asked, wrapping her leg around him.

He kissed her neck and let out a small growl in her ear. "Oh no, bring that, just know it's going to last on your body for five minutes at the most," he ran his hands over her sides.

Olivia let out a moan and smirked. "That sounds perfect," she whispered and kissed him once more before pulling away and smiling. "Now, let's finish up dinner so we can move on to dessert." She looked him over and licked her lips, her body flushing with her arousal.

Ed smirked and helped her off the counter. "You're such a little minx."

She batted her eyes at him and kissed his lips gently. "I can't help it. I want you all of the time. And the bourbon makes that desire even more powerful."

He kissed her passionately and she smiled against his lips. "Remind me to stay fully stocked on the bourbon."

Olivia laughed and gently squeezed his biceps. "As much as I love the taste of bourbon on your lips, I don't need it to want you." She winked and walked away and started eating her dinner again.

The two of them ate their dinner and cleaned up. Ed stood behind Olivia as she rinsed their plates and glasses and started kissing her neck. "Those can wait," He whispered. "This can't." He spun her around and lifted her onto the island.

She gasped and looked down at him. "What are we doing now?" She asked with a smirk.

He grinned and lifted the T-shirt over her head. "I'm going to make you scream," he murmured against her collar bone.

Olivia smiled. "And how do you plan on doing that?" she asked watching his hands dance over her body, sighing and looking into his eyes.

Ed smirked and fondled her breasts. "My fingers. Right here on the island. I want you writhing and screaming in pleasure, to hell with my neighbors." He pushed her back, climbing up on the island, laying next to her, having access to her body and her lips. "Unless you prefer another way?" He asked, sucking on her left nipple.

She moaned and arched her back. "Fuck," she ran her fingers through his hair and pulled him to her lips, kissing him, moaning when she felt him start to stoke her wet slit.

He grinned and kissed down to her neck, finding the one spot he knew drove her crazy, pushing two fingers inside her as he gently nipped at the skin of her neck. "You're so wet," he whispered as he started to move his fingers.

Olivia let out a loud moan. "Oh, Ed!" She felt him start to suck on her breast, nipping at it slightly. Her hips thrust up into his hand. "God, baby. More. Harder. Please." She begged him and held his head to her breast, gripping his hair.

Ed smirked and added another one of his fingers inside her. He watched her eyes shoot open and heard a scream of pleasure tear from her throat as he moved his fingers harder inside her. "That's it baby," he kissed down to her chest, moving back and forth between her nipples, sucking on them.

She let her eyes roll back in her head as her hips thrust into his hand. "Fuck! I'm so close. Don't stop!" She begged and held his head to her chest with both hands as her body started writhing beneath him and her moans grew louder as her orgasm wracked her body.

He smirked and let her ride out her orgasm. He lay next to her and watched her come down, her body still shaking and jerking as she came down from her high. "God, I love watching you."

Olivia looked over at him and smiled. "God, you remember my body so well."

Ed kissed her softly. "I committed every single thing about you to memory. Like a map of my favorite place, or my favorite book. I have committed to memory every place that makes you scream, every way I can make you orgasm," he whispered and nuzzled her nose.

She smiled and turned on her side. "You want to head back to my place early in the morning, we'll be there when Noah wakes up." She took his hand in hers.

He smiled. "If you're ready for him to know we're back together."

Olivia looked up at him. "I was ready two seconds after you walked out the door," she kissed his chest and smiled. "I want everyday with you. That weekend on our own? I want that, I want holidays and birthdays and anniversaries with you."

Ed brushed her hair back, tucking it behind her ear. "I promise you all of that and more."

She kissed him softly and caressed his face as she pulled away. "Shower?" She asked in a whisper, one eyebrow raised.

 **A/N: So, what did you think? Should I continue? Make that weekend of bourbon and the little red thing a new story all it's own? Let me know in a review! Here or on Twitter (couricshargitay). Thanks!**


	3. Stars & the Moon

**Chapter 3. Still more smut. Maybe we'll get to a plot, if you guys want one?? There's also some fluff in here. Standard disclaimer goes here. Enjoy.**

Olivia stepped out of the shower with Ed, dried off, and wrapped the white fluffy towel around her body, securing it around her breasts. She felt Ed wrap his arms around her from behind and start kissing her neck again. "You drive me crazy," she whispered, her hands resting over his.

Ed smirked and moved his lips to her ear. "The feeling is mutual." He ran his fingers over her thighs. "You're so beautiful. So sexy," he whispered, gently biting her earlobe.

She gasped and bit her bottom lip. "Ed," she whispered.

He smirked and let the towel fall to the ground. "I can't get enough of you." He spun her around and lifted her onto the counter in the bathroom and kissed her passionately.

Olivia let out a moan and held the back of his head, spreading her legs so he could stand between them, using her free hand to push his towel off his hips. She wrapped her legs around him and pulled him closer. She broke the kiss and looked into his eyes. "Ed Tucker, I love you," she whispered and caressed his face.

Ed smiled and kissed everywhere he could reach. "I love you, too, Olivia." He felt her fingers under his chin and he moved back to look into her eyes. They stayed there, just like that for what seemed like hours, staring into each other's eyes.

She smiled and pushed herself forward, wrapping her arms around him. "One more time, loud and rough, then we head back to my apartment for the rest of the night?"

He picked her up and carried her into his bedroom, setting her on the bed. "You run the show" he whispered in her ear. The whisper sent chills down her spine.

Olivia bit her bottom lip and put her hair into a ponytail. She moved back on the bed and got on all fours, looking over her shoulder at him, moving her hips side to side with a smirk. "Come and get me."

Ed groaned and knelt behind her running his hand down her back, over her side, and playfully smacking her ass. He heard her groan and he smiled. "You like that baby?"

She smirked. "You know I do. I love when you spank me." She giggled then gasped and let out a moan as he entered her from behind. "Fuck! Ed!"

He grinned and spanked her again, groaning as she moaned loudly. He grabbed her ponytail, tugging gently as he started moving inside her. "Shit, you feel so good."

Olivia moaned, moving her hips back to meet his. "Harder. Be rough." She begged and moaned when his hand came down on her ass again, hard.

Ed jerked her up by her hair and kissed her neck. He started to piston in and out of her, his free arm wrapping around her, his hands playing with her breasts. "I love your body."

She moaned as she knelt up, his dick pistoning in and out of her, her eyes rolling back in pleasure. "Oh, God, Ed." She felt his hand slid down her body and started rubbing her clit. "Oh, yeah. Right there!" She shouted, feeling her orgasm start to build. "Baby, I'm so close." She whined and rested her hand over his.

He smirked. "Come on baby, let me make you come over and over again," He whispered in her ear.

Olivia let out a loud moan when his hand made contact with her ass again and her orgasm tore through her body. He didn't stop moving, prolonging her orgasm until she couldn't take it anymore. "Baby, baby you need to come or you need to stop and let me finish you another way, I— oh my God, fuck me!" She shouted as another orgasm took over her, her body shaking. He stopped and pulled out of her. She let out a breath and turned around, pushing him down on the bed, and taking him into her mouth.

Ed groaned and held her hair in his hand as he watched her move her mouth over his dick. "God, baby!" His head fell back and he felt himself shoot into her mouth.

She moaned and swallowed everything he gave her. She smiled and kissed up to his lips. "Mm, that was… incredible," she whispered.

He wrapped her in his arms. "Liv," he whispered back. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Olivia smiled and chuckled, shaking her head. "On the contrary. I am feeling no pain," she giggled and kissed his chest. She looked up at him and she could tell he wasn't convinced. "Listen to me." She stopped and took a breath. "After Lewis, I didn't think I'd be able to enjoy rough sex. Spanking and hair pulling, it was all too close to what he did." She bit her bottom lip. "And honestly, since Lewis… you're the only one I've been able to let loose with and have rough sex once in a while, and be in a position other than missionary." She sat up and took his hand. "I trust you to never actually hurt me. And I know if I asked you to stop, or to ease up, you would." She lay next to him and felt his lips on her forehead.

Ed ran his hand over her back. "I never want to do anything to hurt you." He pulled her on top of him and held her close. "You mean the world to me, and I'd never forgive myself if I knew I'd hurt you, more than… more than I already have."

She looked into his eyes. "Ed, please, stop beating yourself up. Let's just… let's just live in the present. Let's just… be in love and make out and have sex and go on dates and be a family. That's all I've ever wanted. That's all I've ever wanted with you."

He caressed her face and she smiled and nuzzled into his hand. "I want to give you all that and more," he whispered and took her hair out of the ponytail, running his fingers through it. "You're loud when we get rough."

Olivia smiled and giggled. "Why do you think I wanted to do it here one more time, rough? I know I can't be quiet when the sex is rough." She smirked and winked. "Your neighbors, though, are not going to be happy, that you had me screaming expletives at," she stopped to look at the clock "twelve thirty in the morning."

Ed shrugged. "They'll get over it. I gotta make sure the woman I love is satisfied." He tilted her head up and kissed her softly.

She smiled and broke the kiss. "With you? Baby, I'm always satisfied. More than." She grinned and kissed him, breaking it to rest her head on his chest. "Head back to my apartment, send Lucy home, make out in my bed until we fall asleep?" She asked, drawing shapes on his chest with her finger.

He smiled. "I'd like that."

Olivia bit her bottom lip. "That offer to borrow your clothes still stand?"

Ed smiled. "The opportunity to see you in my clothes? Of course it does."

She leaned in and smiled. "Even though I don't have any panties?" She spoke in a low, sultry voice.

He swallowed hard. "Thinking about you in my pajama pants with no panties underneath is the kids of things men dream about, then wake up and need to take care of a small problem.

Olivia smiled. "Well, in your case, there is nothing small about that problem." She winked and stood up, sauntering over to his dresser and picking out a pair of pajama pants and a t shirt. She slipped into them and looked at him. "What do you think?"

Ed got up and walked over to her, gripping her hips. "You look better in my clothes than I do."

She blushed. "Unlikely. Your t-shirts, the way that they hug your muscles, god you're so sexy." She ran her hands over his chest.

He smiled. "Don't you know how to charm a guy?" He asked incredulously

Olivia shrugged. "I'm a charmer." She kissed him softly. "You better get dressed," she whispered against his lips. "Or we're never going to leave."

Ed smiled and pulled her closer, putting every ounce of passion he could into the kiss before pulling away, leaving her speechless and breathless. He walked to his dresser and put on a pair of boxers, a t shirt, and a pair of pajama pants before rushing back to her and picking her up, feeling her legs wrap around him. "God, how did I get so lucky to have such a beautiful, sexy woman that I get to call my girlfriend, who loves me so much?" He asked in a whisper.

She smiled and gently scratched the nape of his neck. "The same way I got such a handsome, sexy man that I get to call my boyfriend, who loves me more than I probably deserve."

He pushed her against the wall of his bedroom and she let out a breath as a shiver ran down her spine. "Olivia, I could never love you nearly as much as you deserve. I just hope that what I can give you is enough."

Olivia caressed his face and smiled. "It's enough," she whispered and kissed him softly. She let out a soft moan as he deepened the kiss, keeping the pace slow. She broke the kiss and kept her eyes closed for a moment. "Please, Ed, never ever feel like you don't love me enough," she felt tears well up in her eyes. "You give me everything that I've ever wanted. Sure, maybe Noah didn't come from the two of us, but you complete our family." She felt him hold her tighter. "Everything is exactly how it's supposed to be with you in my life. In mine and Noah's lives."

Ed held her close and buried his head in her neck, breathing her in. "I'll make you a deal, I won't question whether my love is enough and you will stop saying to don't deserve every ounce of love, that you don't deserve the world, and the moon, and the stars. Okay?"

She smiled, feeling tears start to run down her face. She nodded. "Deal," she whispered. "Now," she wiped her eyes, "kiss me one more time, and let's go back to my place, and send Lucy home," she smiled and ran her hands over his shoulders.

He let her legs fall and tilted her chin up. He looked into her eyes and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, barely touching her. He watched her eyes slip closed. He inched closer to her, his lips barely touching hers as he kissed her slowly.

Olivia felt a chill run through her body, she felt her body start to melt into his. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he started to sway them. She smiled and let out a soft moan as he pulled away softly. She swallowed hard and looked at him. "Ed Tucker, I swear to God if you ever let the thought that you don't love me enough cross your mind, ever again, I will… I don't know because that kiss rendered my brain essentially useless…" she chuckled as he kissed her again, a smile on his face.

Ed broke the kiss again. "You make me want to be a better man." He caressed her face. "Let me take you home and hold you and kiss you."

She smiled and nodded. "Nothing would make me happier." He moved back and she took his hand. "I just have to get my phone and my heels and my coat and we can go."

Once she gathered her things they went downstairs and hailed a cab. She gave her address and they cuddled up together in the back of the cab. His hand ran over her thigh, slowly moving higher. "I love you."

Olivia smiled. "I love you, too." She moved up to his ear. "Careful Captain, remember I don't have any panties on." She giggled.

Ed squeezed her thigh and kissed her neck. "Oh, I know what I'm doin' Lieutenant," he whispered gruffly into her ear.

She took a deep breath. "You certainly do, but can we at least wait until we're out of the cab for you to make me come again? Preferably in my apartment after we send Lucy home."

He smirked. "Oh, I'm not going to let you come just yet. I'm just building up. It's called edging," he smirked and ran his hands up her back under the shirt she wore, softly. "I want my fingers down those pants but that may be frowned upon."

Olivia smiled and looked at him. "You're lucky I know how to hide my arousal." She whispered and bit her bottom lip.

Ed smirked. "Not from me, you don't." He bit on her neck, hearing her yelp, seeing the cabbie's eyes look back at them in the rear view mirror. "She got a chill."

She looked at him. "From everyone but you I can hide it. Because you're the only one who can read my body."

He kissed her gently, before the cab came to a stop in front of her building. He paid the fare and they got out, running inside. Once they were in the elevator he pushed her against the back wall and kissed her passionately. "You drive me crazy, baby."

Olivia smiled and pulled him in for another kiss, murmuring against his lips, "Right back at ya, sexy."

Ed had just gotten his fingers under the waistband of the pants on her body when the elevator dinged. She groaned in frustration and he smirked. "Patience, my love. I'll let you come… eventually."

She pulled him out of the elevator then pulled him close by his shirt. "Have fun, just remember… payback's a bitch," she whispered and kissed his lips quickly, walking to her door and opening it. She smiled when she saw Lucy sleeping on the couch. She took her heels off and hung her coat up before walking over and sitting on the coffee table. "Lucy, sweetie." The young woman shot up and Olivia rested her hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, it's just me. I didn't mean to startle you. Just wanted to let you know you can go home now."

Lucy smiled and nodded. She took payment from her boss who had become more like family, before she got up and started gathering her things. "I hope you had a good night, Liv. Noah was an angel. He's gotten so big."

Olivia smiled and Ed looked at Lucy, "Let me walk you out," he said in a gruff voice.

Lucy smiled. "Oh, Captain Tucker, you really don't need to—"

Olivia stopped her. "Let him walk out out and get you into a cab, okay?"

Lucy nodded. "Okay." She walked out of the apartment with Ed and when they were in the elevator she spoke up gently. "Olivia… she really loves you, I haven't seen her look so relaxed since the two of you broke up. Just… take care of her."

Ed nodded. "I have every intention of it. She is the love of my life, and I'm not making the mistake of leaving again."

Lucy nodded. "Good," she got a taxi and climbed in. She waved goodbye to Ed and the cab drove off.

He rushed back upstairs, locking the door behind him after he entered the apartment. He saw Olivia coming out of Noah's room with a smile on her face. "Come here," He whispered and pulled her into a tight hug, then kissing her passionately.

Olivia gasped and pulled him over to the couch, pushing him down and straddling in lap. "Now, where were we?"

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! Please leave me a review and let me know if you want more, if you want a plot, or if you just want me to keep it smuttt fluffy like this. Review here or on Twitter (@couricshargitay)**


	4. Happy Together

**Okay, so this one might not be the best of the story so far, I blame the codeine cough syrup. That's my story I'm sticking to it. And I can't believe I have to put this, but DO. NOT. BODY. SHAME. OLIVIA. IN. THE. COMMENTS. She eats in this chapter *gasp* I know, she eats food! And whenever I put that in a story I get disgusting body shaming comments about Olivia. Save your breath. Get a life, find a productive hobby, and stop reading my stories if you don't like Olivia eating food. Shit.**

After a couple more rounds, Olivia and Ed fell against the bed, sated, exhausted, tangled in a beautiful mess of limbs and sheets. Sleep came easy to them both. Ed was up first the next morning, he went to get out of her, but Olivia let out a groan. "Stay," she whispered.

Ed kissed her head. "Go back to sleep," he whispered. "I'll be here when you wake up." Olivia grunted in response and fell back into a deep sleep.

A few hours passed and Olivia woke up, looking around, not seeing Ed. But she knew she hadn't dreamt last night, the ache between her thighs was familiar proof that she hadn't made the whole thing up. She stood up and put on a pair of panties, a pair of shorts, and a T-shirt and smiled when she heard Noah laughing and Ed's voice coming from the kitchen. She walked out of the bedroom, leaned up against the wall and smiled at her son and the man she loved.

Noah saw her first and he gasped excitedly. "Mommy! Tucker made pancakes!"

She pushed off the wall and walked over to him and kissed his head. "He did!? Well aren't we lucky?" She smiled and looked at Ed. "Good morning," she smiled and kissed him softly. She looked back at Noah. "How about I get dressed and take you to school?"

Ed wrapped an arm around her. "You, sit, relax, have some breakfast. I'll bring him in today."

She looked back at him and smiled. "Yeah?" She saw him nod and she smiled and looked back at Noah. "Okay, bud, how about you go brush your teeth."

Noah looked at his mother. "You just want to kiss Tucker."

Olivia's mouth opened in playful shock. "Listen to you, go brush your teeth." She laughed and saw him hop off his chair and run to the bathroom. Olivia chuckled and turned in Ed's arms and kissed him slowly, feeling him deepen it.

Ed held her close and broke the kiss gently. "I miss mornings like this."

She grinned. "Me too," she bit her bottom lip and kissed him again, a smile on her face as their lips meshed. She broke the kiss. "Come back after you drop him off?" She asked, running her hands over his chest.

He smiled. "I wouldn't dream of being anywhere else." He kissed her again.

Olivia smiled and pulled away again. "When you get back we can continue that," she smiled and kissed his cheek. "While you're gone I'll call Fin and tell him I'm feeling a little under the weather and I just need to rest today."

Ed chuckled. "Even though you'll be doing anything but."

She smiled. "Different kind of self care," She winked and kissed him once more, quickly.

Noah came running out. "All done!"

Olivia picked him up and smiled. "Okay, Tucker is going to take you to school, I'll come pick you up. Be good today," she kissed his forehead.

He hugged her. "I will. I love you, Mommy."

She smiled and hugged him tight. "Oh, I love you, too, sweet boy." She set him down and he ran to get his backpack. She looked at Ed. "I'm going to have some breakfast while you're gone," she moved around him and got a plate to put her food on.

Ed kissed the back of her head as he walked past her, going to the door to put his shoes on. "Come on bud! Let's go to school."

Olivia watched them leave and she put a few pancakes on her plate, drizzling them with syrup. She picked up her phone and called Fin. "Fin? Hey. I'm taking the day. If you absolutely need me, call me and I can be there in half an hour."

"But try not to need you?" Fin asked, a knowing smirk on his face on the other end of the phone.

She rolled her eyes. "I can hear that smirk through the phone. I just need the day, alright." She has a smile of her own on her face.

He chuckled. "Alright, Liv. Tell Tucker I say hi."

Olivia shook her head. "You can be such an ass sometimes, you know that right?"

Fin smiled. "Yeah, but it's part of my charm."

She smiled. "It is. It's why we all love you." She said playfully. "Don't burn the place down, alright. I'd like to have a precinct to come back to, tomorrow."

He nodded. "You got it, Liv. Enjoy your day."

Olivia let out a breath. "Thank you. See you tomorrow." She hung up and ate her pancakes and bacon and drank the cup of coffee she made for herself. She smiled and realized that for the first time since they'd broken up, she was truly happy. She felt safe. Everything felt right. She heard the door open and she smiled when she saw Tucker walk in. "Hey, you."

Ed walked over and kissed her lips, pulling her closer, feeling her arms wrap around him. He broke the kiss and smiled. "Maple syrup tastes good on you."

She chuckled. "Your pancakes taste incredible." She bit her bottom lip.

He caressed her face. "What's running through that beautiful mind?"

Olivia rubbed his chest. "You. Us. How happy you make me. How last night and today are the happiest I've been in over a year. How you make me feel safe. How I really wish I'd have begged you to take me back sooner because God knows I needed you so much this past year…" she shrugged. "How deeply in love with you I am." She felt tears well up in her eyes. "God, Ed, I love you so much."

Ed wiped her eyes and kissed her softly. "I wish I could have been there for you, and for Noah. It's been rough, with… Sharon, is her name?"

She furrowed her brow. "Sheila. How did you—" she asked before he cut her off.

"I sleep with a radio under my pillow, remember?" He teased getting a small chuckle out of her. "No, I have my sources."

"Fin?" Olivia asked and she saw Ed shrug. "You can tell me, I'm not going to shun him."

Ed nodded. "He wanted to make sure you were okay. So did I. The whole Sheila thing… he had to convince me not to drive up there because I probably would have hurt her."

She smiled. "I thought about it," she shook her head. "That week after, hell that month after, every noise I heard at night was someone coming to take him. I'm his mother, and I let his kidnapper walk right into his life." She nodded and wiped her eyes.

He tilted her chin up and made eye contact with her. "Don't do that." He whispered. "Don't you dare blame yourself for what that woman did, hear me?" He saw her nod. "You wanted him to have a relationship with the only blood relative he has. That's not a bad thing. What she did, abusing your kindness, that's on her. Not on you."

Olivia smiled softly. "I should have called you then," she rested her forehead against his. "I needed to hear that then." She caressed his face. "Enough about Sheila. I want to focus on you right now. On us." She kissed him softly and felt him lift her onto the counter.

Ed ran his hands under her shirt, lifting it over her head, taking her breasts in his hands. She let her head fall back and she groaned when he started to massage them. "You're so sexy." He kissed her neck, gently biting and sucking on the skin.

She groaned and rested her hand on the back of his head, her breath catching in her throat. "Ed," she moaned and arched her back. "Oh, God, baby."

He grinned and licked over where he just bit soothing softly, blowing softly on her skin, causing her to gasp, seeing goosebumps on her skin. "I want to worship your body. All day long."

Olivia smiled and wrapped her arms around him. "We can worship each other, we have the apartment to ourselves. Wherever you want."

Ed lifted her up and pulled her shorts and panties off. "Oh we'll get around the apartment today. But right now, I want you right here, on the counter. I need to taste you."

She groaned and leaned back on her elbows, letting him spread her legs, propping her feet on the counter. She felt his tongue come in contact with her soaking wet core and she let her mouth fall open, letting out a deep growl, her head falling back. "Oh my God." She closed her eyes and enjoyed every sensation of his mouth on her. "Oh, Ed."

He smirked and licked up her slit, flicking his tongue over her clit, sucking, kissing her inner thighs, listening to her moans only egged him on more, pushing his tongue inside her. Every single action he took made her moan louder and louder. He looked up at her. "Come on baby. Let go. I'll catch you."

Olivia let his words hit her ears, and it was all over, her orgasm had already been building, and his voice sent her over the edge, the pure euphoria rushing over her as she came hard.

Ed licked her clean and kissed up to her lips, where she hungrily kissed him back. He ran his hands over her thighs. "I'll never get over how incredible you taste, how sexy you sound, how beautiful you are at the peak of orgasm."

She smiled and blushed slightly. "All for you, Ed." She bit her bottom lip and hopped off the counter, steadying herself before she dropped to her knees and looked up at him. "My turn." She licked her lips. She unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans before pulling them down along with his boxer briefs, freeing his erection. She smiled and started to stroke him. She licked up the underside of his shaft.

He groaned and looked down at her. He moved her hair to the side and gripped it in one hand, watching her as her mouth moved over him. He let out a breath. "Oh, Liv." He let his head fall back, feeling her hand move over him. "God, don't stop."

Olivia smiled and looked up at him as she stroked him. "That's it baby," she kissed along his shaft, then kissing the head, blowing on it softly.

Ed groaned. "Liv, I'm gonna come. God what you do with your mouth," he felt his release building. "Jesus."

She smiled and wrapped her mouth around him, moving over him, slowly. She tasted his release and she groaned. She let him go with a pop and swallowed every drop of what he gave her. "Mm," she kissed up to his lips and smiled.

He pulled her close and kissed her passionately, feeling her melt into him. He groaned and broke the kiss, still holding her close. "You're incredible." He looked at her and touched the small mark on her neck with his fingers. "Sorry about that."

Olivia shrugged. "That's what they made turtlenecks for," she chuckled and pulled his shirt over his head, moving closer to him, reveling in the skin to skin contact. "I love you, Ed. And you… you are the last man I ever want to say that to."

Ed smiled. "I love you, Olivia Margaret Benson, and you're the last woman I ever want to say that to." He kissed her forehead.

She closed her eyes, then kissed him softly. "I finally feel like everything is right again, everything fell back into place. You were the missing piece to my puzzle."

He ran his hands over her sides, then took her hand. "I'm so glad you came to my apartment last night. I've missed you so much."

Olivia smiled. "I'm glad you let me stay." She bit her bottom lip. "I missed you too. Nights like last night, mornings like today, falling asleep in your arms. I've missed it all."

Ed kicked his pants and boxer briefs off from around his ankles, toeing his socks off. He took her hand and led her back into the bedroom, climbing in bed with her, holding her. "This is what I've missed most. Cuddling with you. The sex, God, Liv it's wonderful, but this, it doesn't get any better."

She moved closer to him and smiled. "We should set an alarm so I can get up and go get Noah on time."

He kissed her softly and took her hand in his. "Good idea. In case we fall asleep, or get distracted."

Olivia chuckled. "You've got a one track mind." She kissed him gently, "Not that I'm complaining."

Ed ran his fingers gently over her sides. "When I have a girlfriend as incredibly sexy as you, damn straight I have a one track mind."

She smiled and looked into his eyes. "Girlfriend?"

He nodded. "Yeah, if that's okay with you."

Olivia kissed him gently. "More than okay," she whispered against his lips. "It's perfect."

 **A/N: Hope you enjoyed this. Again, NO BODY SHAMING COMMENTS. I'm sick of them. Find a hobby. But if you want to comment on the actual story itself, and not on Olivia's body or appearance, please feel free to do so, here, or on Twitter (couricshargitay). Thanks.**


	5. Royals

**Back with the next chapter of Desire! It's a little longer than my usual. And we're starting to see a bit of a plot form (smut is wonderful, but eventually there has to be a story if it's more than a one shot). I'm excited. Let me know what you think!**

Olivia straddled Ed, leaning over, kissing him, as her hips moved against his. She let out a moan, feeling his hands move down to her ass, her orgasm building inside her when she heard the alarm on her phone go off. She groaned in frustration. "God! Five more minutes. I need five more minutes," her voice was breathless and whiny. She reached over and fumbled with her phone, hitting the snooze button.

Ed took advantage of the opportunity and as soon as she'd momentarily silenced the alarm, he flipped them over so he was on top of her. "Allow me," He whispered and rested her leg over his shoulder, hearing her moan at the change of angle. He kissed her passionately as he picked up the pace, pounding inside of her.

She tore her lips from his and let a out a loud moan as she felt her orgasm start to take over. "Ed! Baby," she whined as she felt him keep moving inside her. "Oh, God!" She scratched his back. "Oh, fuck! Come on baby, oooh, yeah."

He groaned and took her earlobe between his teeth, stilling himself as he released inside her. "Oh, Liv. Oh, God baby."

Olivia bit her bottom lip and groaned. "Oooh." She let her head fall back, a chuckle falling her lips. "Mm, that was amazing. Yesterday, today, it's all been… amazing" she smiled and felt him let her leg fall. She rolled on her side, holding him close. "I feel… I can't even describe it."

Ed caressed her cheek and kissed her forehead. "You're perfect," he whispered and ran his fingers over her sides.

She closed her eyes and smiled, running her fingers over his chest. "I have to get dressed and go get Noah," she whispered and kissed him softly. "Stay," she whispered. "Please."

He looked into her eyes. "I'm not going anywhere you don't want me to. Not again."

Olivia smiled and kissed him once more, before getting up and quickly throwing on panties, yoga pants, a bra, and a t-shirt. She threw her hair up into a messy bun, then crawled onto the bed and kissed Ed. "Be back soon. You may want to put some clothes on before I get back with Noah," she smiled. "And once he's in bed we can be naked again." She giggled and crawled off the bed.

Ed kissed her. He stood up and walked around the bed to meet her, wrapping her in his arms, kissing at her neck, hearing her moan. He kissed to her ear and smiled. "Be safe, I'll see ya when you get back."

She was putty in his hands and she nodded. "I—" she closed her eyes and caught her breath. "I have to go get Noah," she giggled and walked away, looking back at him over her shoulder.

He watched her walk away and once he heard her leave he walked back out into the kitchen, picking up their clothes that had been left there, bringing them into the bedroom and getting redressed. He then started cleaning up from breakfast and making sure everything was neat for when Olivia got home.

It took her about half an hour, but Olivia brought Noah home, carrying him, a smile on both their faces. "Honey, we're home!" She giggled and looked around, seeing that Ed had cleaned. She put Noah down and walked over to Ed who had come out from the bedroom, a smile on her face. "You cleaned?" She wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you." She kissed him softly. "I was going to clean everything up tonight. You, Ed Tucker, are an incredible man."

Ed shrugged and looked down at her. "I wanted to take some stress off of you. You deserve to be able to relax. If I can help, I will. It's not like you keep the apartment a mess, just did the breakfast dishes and picked up the stray toys," he leaned in to whisper in her ear, "and our clothes from earlier."

She gasped and ran her hands over his chest. "Thank you," she smiled and looked at Noah who had run over to them. She picked him up and smiled. "So, Noah, what do you think about Tucker being here a lot more? Like, more than he was before?"

Noah looked between Ed and Olivia and he furrowed his brow. "Is he gonna live here?"

Olivia looked from Noah to Ed, a small smile on her face. "The invitation is certainly there." She took Ed's hand in hers. "Up to you, Captain."

Ed squeezed her hand. "Nothing would make me happier, bud." He responded to Noah. "If you're okay with that."

Noah thought again. "You gonna sleep with mommy?"!

Had Olivia been taking a drink she'd have spit it out. It was an innocent question, and she knew he wasn't talking about sex, but actual sleeping, but the expression coming out of her 6 year old was no less shocking. Ed saw this and smirked. "That's mommy's call."

She blushed and smiled. "Of course, we can't make Tucker sleep on the couch, now can we?" She bit her bottom lip. "I do have one request," she smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Bring your couch." And kissed Noah's head. "So, our nice little family is back together."

Noah looked up at his mother. "Forever?"

Olivia smiled, feeling tears in her eyes. She nodded. "Yeah, sweet boy. Forever."

Ed wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. "I promise," he whispered to her.

She put Noah down. "Why don't you pick out a movie for us to watch tonight after dinner, then I want to hear all about school today." She watched him run off and she stood up in front of Ed. She smiled and nodded. "I love you, Ed Tucker. Endlessly, unconditionally." She kissed him softly, feeling him deepen it slightly, keeping it slow, his hand tangled in her hair.

He broke the kiss and nuzzled her nose. "I love you, too, Olivia Margaret Benson. More than I could ever put into words." He held her hips and gently swayed them.

Olivia closed her eyes. "I never want this to end."

Ed kissed her forehead. "It never has to." He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "You, me, Noah… that's all we need."

She wrapped her arms around him and smiled. "Welcome home," she whispered and kissed him again. Olivia felt Noah tug at her shirt and she pulled away, kneeling down. "Yes, sweet boy?"

Noah held up a movie and smiled. "Because you're a princess, and Tucker's your prince."

Olivia took the DVD of Cinderella from Noah, tears welling up in her eyes, the young boy not quite understanding how accurate an allegory for his mother's life the movie he had picked was. "If this is what you really want to watch, and not because of Mommy and Tucker—"

Noah stopped her. "Lilo and Stitch?"

She chuckled. "You got it, lovey." She stood up and looked at Ed, knowing he knew how fitting Cinderella was for her life, their life together he rested his hand on her shoulder. "I'm okay. Right now, I'm okay. Just… be here." She whispered and kissed his lips quickly.

He nodded. "I know you are, and I will be here, whenever you need me." He kissed her temple. "Go talk to Noah about his day, I'll start on dinner."

Olivia grabbed his hand when he moved to go into the kitchen. "Let's order in. Come, sit with your family. Our family." She smiled and led him to the couch, picking Noah up and sitting him on her lap. "Tell us all about your day at school, sweet boy."

Noah told Olivia and Ed about his day, what book they read in school, how they learned about the stars and constellations in science. Once he was done he snuggled into Olivia and she kissed the top of his head. "Sounds like you had a good day today bud." Ed smiled.

Olivia held Noah and reached out and took Ed's hand. Everything she needed was right here. "How about we get dinner?" She smiled and ordered something healthy, much to Noah's objections.

They all ate and Olivia had Noah get ready for bed before they watched Lilo Stitch, just in case he fell asleep. It was a good thing she did, because as she predicted about three quarters of the way through he'd fallen fast asleep. Ed moved him into his bed and Olivia followed behind to tuck him in, with Eddie, and kissed his forehead. "Goodnight sweet boy." She closed the door and smiled, turning to look at Ed.

"You alright?" He asked gently, taking her hand in his.

She shrugged. "Cinderella," she whispered. "He doesn't know… about my mother." She looked at Noah's door. "He doesn't know how accurate that movie is, except I didn't grow up with step sisters."

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her. "There's one other thing."

Olivia smiled and looked back at Ed. "Yeah, what's that?" She asked, her arms winding around his neck.

Ed caressed her cheek and ran his thumb over her lips, feeling her kiss the digit. "You, Olivia Margaret Benson, aren't a Princess," he kissed her neck, hearing her release a breath. "You're a Queen. My Queen."

She blushed and looked into his eyes. "That makes you my King," she pulled him closer by his shirt so they were a millimeter apart. With a smirk on her face she looked at his lips. "And right now, I want my King, in bed, with no clothes on," she whispered and kissed him softly.

He pulled her flush against him, deepening the kiss, walking backwards towards the bedroom, knocking into the wall, the broke apart and giggled. "Shhh." He walked them both into the bedroom.

Olivia sat on the bed and looked at him. "Have I mentioned how incredibly sexy you are," she asked watching him take his clothes off, piece by piece until he was in his boxer briefs. "I can't get enough of you." She whispered, standing up and walking over to him, her hands running over his chiseled chest.

Ed lifted her T-shirt over her head and pushed her yoga pants over her legs, kissing up her toned stomach, gently nipping the tops of her breasts. Hearing her gasp he smiled. "I could say the same to you," he gripped her hips. "You are so fucking sexy baby." He kissed her neck and let his hands roam her body.

She let out a groan and held his head to her neck. "Mm, shit baby." She arched her back and bit her bottom lip. "You know exactly what I like." She pulled him off her neck, looking into his eyes. "I love you, and I want you. So badly. Right now."

He walked her back to the bed and pushed her down, climbing on top of her, slipping her panties off, kissing the inside of her thighs, kissing up her body, slipping his hand under her back, unhooking her bra and slipping it off her body, taking her left nipple in his mouth, earning a moan of appreciation from her. "You like that?"

Olivia took an inhale of breath through her teeth. "Mm." She arched her breath and smiled. "Oh, you drive me crazy."

Ed held himself over her and smiled. "More where that came from." He sat back and pushed his boxer briefs off and then climbed back on top of her and kissed her. "I love you, Olivia. Always."

She smiled and held his shoulders, feeling him resting, hard, against her thigh. "I love you too, Ed." She leaned up and kissed him. "Make love to me," she whispered.

He pushed inside of her and they both took a breath. "Shit," he whispered and took her hands in his, kissing her lips again as his hips started to move.

Olivia moaned into his mouth and squeezed his hands as she moved with him, her head fell back, breaking the kiss. "Just like that," she whispered and sighed as his lips found her neck.

They drew out their love making as long as possible before Olivia big down on Ed's shoulder, muffling her scream as her orgasm tore through her, feeling his release inside her. "Fuck, baby," he whispered and kissed her neck.

She sighed and closed her eyes. "Oh, Ed." She giggled and when she felt him roll off of her, she rolled on her side and snuggled into his chest. "God." She kissed his chest.

He ran his fingers over her sides and her arm. "You're so beautiful. Always, but right now, flushed after an orgasm, your hair a bit of a mess, no makeup, God, you're breathtaking."

Olivia blushed. "Thank you." She took his hand in hers. "You know, I love you, and sex with you, it's mind blowing. However we do it, whether it's rough and fast, or lovemaking that goes on and on, no one's ever made me feel the way you do. And I never want anyone to again. You're it for me, Ed Tucker."

Ed smiled. "You mean that? Because I swear to you, Olivia, I'm here. Forever."

She smiled. "I mean it with every fiber of my being." She closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest.

He stroked her hair. "Liv," he looked down at her. "I know it's fast. But marry me. Give me the honor of being your husband."

Olivia looked up at him and smiled. "Yeah?" She saw him nod. "Ed Tucker, of course I will marry you. Nothing would make me happier." She kissed him passionately and ran her fingers over his chest.

Ed broke the kiss and looked into her eyes. "I have a ring. I've had it since… since before we even went to Paris." He looked between them. "I've wanted to do this for so long, but I never knew when, I was going to do it before we went, when I asked if you wanted to go to Paris. In Paris, but that seemed too cliche. Then we broke up. I didn't think I'd ever get to ask. Until last night, when we both said we still loved each other. And I promise, once I have the ring with me, I'll do it right."

She looked up at him in amazement. "I think right now was perfect. I think as much as it hurt we needed that time away. We needed the time for us to realize that we're made for each other. And Ed, you didn't need to get me a ring."

He shrugged. "Call me old fashioned, but you deserve a beautiful ring on your finger. And I want that ring to symbolize the love you and I have together."

Olivia smiled. "I love you Ed. Always." She kissed him again and wrapped her arms around him, before breaking it with a chuckle. "I never thought I'd be marrying Ed Tucker. But I couldn't be happier."

Ed stroked her cheek. "All I want in my life is to make you happy. For the rest of our lives."

She smiled. "You make me deliriously happy." She ran her fingers through his short, cropped hair. "And I can't wait to spend forever with you."

He rolled them over and kissed her neck, moving down her body, kissing every inch of skin he could get his lips on. "Forever starts right now, baby." He kissed back up to her lips and smiled. "I know it was fast, but if us being apart taught me anything, it's that I never want to be without you again."

Olivia moaned as his lips trailed over her body. She saw him come up her body and she grinned. "You never will be again." She kissed him again passionately, her hands running down the perfect curve of his back, holding him close.

Ed put every ounce of feeling he had for her into the kiss, every bit of love, adoration, he wanted her to feel all of it. He broke the kiss when air became necessary and rested his forehead against hers. "Thank you for making me the luckiest man alive."

She blushed. "Thank you for loving me." She rested her head on his chest. "I have to go back to work tomorrow," she whispered. "I'll be home for dinner." She snuggled into him.

He stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. "We need a vacation. You, me, and Noah." He said gently. "Maybe not Paris, but just somewhere where we can get away and spend time together."

Olivia smiled. "Out of New York. Out of the Tri-State area. Not New Hampshire." She shrugged. "That still leaves us with so many options. Even if we wanted to go up to Canada."

Ed kissed her gently. "We don't have to plan right now." He rubbed her back. "Plus, I'm going to want that vacation with just you and me. Before the wedding. Bourbon, that little red thing, a cabin where we can be as loud as we want."

She grinned. "You just like hearing me scream when I come." She kissed his neck. "You like me being loud when you fuck me," she whispered in his ear.

He let out a breath. "You're so bad," he gripped her hips as she straddled him.

Olivia smiled. "Am I?" She leaned over. Her hair hanging around her face. "Or am I really, really good?" She kissed him, but barely, their lips barely touching.

Ed groaned. "You're a fucking tease."

She giggled. "Have I ever intentionally gotten you all worked up and then not followed through? I just draw it out to make sure we both get as much pleasure as possible."

He grabbed her ass. "I always get pleasured when I'm with you."

Olivia smiled. "Right back atcha, Captain." She kissed him passionately, feeling his hand tangle in her hair, gently pulling. She groaned into the kiss and pulled away. "Careful, I don't want to have the birds and the bees talk with Noah yet."

Ed smiled. "I just like hearing you moan, Lieutenant."

 **A/N: Thanks for reading (I already know what her ring looks like, keep reading!) and let me know what you think! Review here or on Twitter (couricshargitay).**


	6. Typical

**This probably isn't the absolute best. It's better than the last chapter, but probably still not the best. The past two weeks, all the political stuff, has been so draining, this has been my release, writing, so there's pain, smut, distraction. I just hope it's not too terrible.**

About a week had passed, and Ed had started to move things in, mainly his clothes and necessary toiletries. Olivia walked in the apartment looking haggard and tired. She saw Noah and rushed to scoop him up and held him close. "My sweet boy," she whispered, feeling Ed's hand on her shoulder.

Ed kissed her temple. "You okay, Liv?" He saw her turn to face him, pain written on her face, and saw her mouth "later". He nodded and kissed her forehead. "How about you go get changed and I'll get dinner served."

She nodded and held a kiss to Noah's head for a few seconds, tears welling up in her eyes. She set him down and looked at Ed, before throwing her arms around him and hugging him tightly. Once she felt his arms around her she let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. She pulled away and kissed him before wiping at her eyes and walking into their bedroom to change.

He watched her and then got down on one knee in front of Noah. "I'm gonna go check on your mom. I'll be right back."

Noah looked up at Ed, his eyes wide. "Is Mommy okay?" He asked, concern written all over his face.

Ed smiled and kissed the top of his head. "I'm gonna go make sure she is." Ed stood up and walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. What he saw broke his heart. "Oh, baby."

Olivia was sitting half naked on the bed with tears running down her face. "I'll be okay. This has just been a really tough case. Then the shooting," she shook her head and shrugged. "And Amanda." She looked up at him and wiped the tears from her mascara and eyeliner stained face. "She's pregnant again. Only this time she's thinking about abortion." Her face twisted in emotional agony once again. Tears finding their way down her cheeks.

Ed was by her side in an instant, pulling her into his arms. "It's okay, shh shh shh."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry," she pulled away and wiped her eyes. "It's been a rough week, a rough few days. And then telling Amanda this secret I've kept for so long."

He kissed her head. "You told her everything?"

Olivia scoffed. "I can't exactly tell her I got around in college, got pregnant because I didn't use a condom even after a pregnancy scare so I had an abortion in the middle of the squad room." She let out a breath. "Sorry." She closed her eyes. "I didn't mean—"

Ed cut her off. "Don't apologize to me. You have nothing to apologize for." He kissed her lips softly. "I know that talking about that period of your life isn't easy," he whispered.

She nodded. "I know it was what was best, I made the right decision, but I've regretted it a lot. I'm not ashamed that I exercised my right, but that was my one chance I had to get pregnant. And I took it for granted."

He rubbed her bare back. "But had you kept that baby, you'd have had to drop out of school, at least until that child was old enough that you could have gone back, you may never have entered The Academy, and you wouldn't have Noah." He whispered.

Olivia smiled. "Or you," She took his hand in hers and sniffled. "Thank you for helping me talk through this." She leaned over and kissed him gently, deepening it a little, not too much, but just enough.

Ed kissed her back, his rough hands running over her smooth skin causing her to moan softly into his mouth. He pulled away. "Always." He whispered against her lips. He smiled and caressed her cheek. Get changed, wash your beautiful face, and come have some dinner. I made chicken and rice," he whispered and kissed softly behind her ear.

She shivered and pulled him away from her neck. "Easy there, tiger. Save that for later," she winked. She stood up and saw Ed moved towards the door. "Ed," she said softly, walking closer to him. "I love you," she smiled and kissed him softly wrapping her arms around him. "And I'm so happy I have you by my side."

He kissed her back and rested his hands on her hips. "Forever." He whispered and kissed her once more before pulling away. "Get dressed, I'll serve dinner."

Olivia smiled and moved towards the bathroom with a t shirt and a pair of Ed's sweats in her hands. She made quick work of putting on the more comfortable clothes. She looked at herself in the mirror, tying her hair up in a ponytail before splashing water on her face, washing the streaked makeup away with cleanser and splashing more water on her face to rinse away the soap. She dried her face and walked back out to the living room and smiled at Ed, who handed her a plate. "This looks delicious, thank you my love."

Ed leaned in and kissed her softly. "Anything for you." He smiled when he saw her blush. He leaned in and whispered in her ear, "'this ponytail. I know what I could do to you with a simple tug," he bit her earlobe and smirked when he heard her gasp.

She closed her eyes and composed herself. She leaned in and whispered softly to him. "Once Noah's asleep you can pull my hair all you want, as long as I get your cock in my pussy," she smiled and pulled away. "Don't dish it out if you can't take it, Captain." She gently pushed up on his lower jaw that had dropped after she whispered to him. She winked and walked to the table with her plate.

He watched her walk, needing a minute to process the dirty talk she just whispered in his ear. He loved Noah, but he never wished he were asleep more than he did right now, because he wanted nothing more to clear the table with a sweep of his arm and fuck her senseless on the table. He took a moment and say down across from her. They all started eating and without saying anything.

Olivia lifted her eyes to look at him, her foot running along his leg under the table. She took a bite of her chicken and let out a satisfied groan. "Mm, baby, this is amazing."

Ed looked up at her. Two could play this game. Once her foot was between his legs, he put his hand in his lap and ran his fingers lightly over her leg. "I'm glad you like it." They continued to eat in comfortable silence as a family. Once they were done they all snuggled up together on the couch, watching one of the cartoons Noah liked.

After about an hour Olivia looked at her watch. "Oh, Noah time for bed, come on bud."

He pouted and followed. "But I don't want to!"

Olivia smiled and nodded, leaning down to his level "Well, unfortunately you don't get a vote here kiddo, come on, bed time."

Noah glared at her before pushing her, "No!"

Olivia stumbled back and her mouth fell open. "Noah, don't you ever do that again. You understand?", her breath was heavy. "Bed. Now. We'll talk about this in the morning." She said sternly, following in his room and turning down the covers, seeing him climb in. She tucked him in but he kicked the covers off, refusing to look at her. She sighed and leaned down and kissed his forehead. "I love you." She turned out the lights and started to walk out of his room. "Noah. I said, I love you." Still nothing. She sighed and walked away, shaking her head.

Ed looked at her, seeing the pain on her face. He wrapped his arms around her. "Come on," he whispered and led her into their bedroom, closing the door. Once the door was closed she kissed him passionately. He stopped her her looked at her. "Liv, after what just happened—"

She sighed. "Ed, I'm hurting," she looked up fought the tears. "After today… and Noah apparently now hates me." She shook her head. "I'm hurting. I don't want to talk about it. Not anymore. Not right now. Right now I want you fuck me. I want to feel something other than this pain."

He caressed her face and she leaned into his touch. "You're sure?" He asked her, he didn't want to take advantage.

Olivia's eyes opened to look at him and she took his hand from her face and dropped to her knees, never breaking the eye contact, until she tore her eyes away and eagerly unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, pushing them over his hips, along with his boxer briefs, gasping when she saw his erection. "Oh yeah, baby. I'm sure." She took him in her hand and started to stroke him. He pulled her up but she kept stroking him.

Ed gripped onto her for dear life. "Liv, I'm not going to last very long if you keep that up."

She looked deep in his eyes. "I'm off tomorrow, I don't plan on sleeping much, if I get you off with my hand first, so be it, because it's not all that's happening tonight."

He groaned as he watched her sink to her knees again, using both hands to stroke him and play with his balls. "Ah, shit. I'm gonna come baby."

Olivia smiled and continued stroking him, but wrapped her lips around the tip of his dick, her eyes locking with his again, giving him the non verbal okay to release whenever he needed to. Within seconds, she tasted his release, she closed her eyes and moaned as she swallowed it all. "Mm," She let him go with a pop, grinning, feeling him pull her up again. "So good," she whispered in his ear, a smile on her face.

Ed turned his head and kissed her lips pulling her close. "You have too many clothes on." He mumbled against her lips.

She grinned. "Yeah?" She heard his groaned response and kept kissing him. "What are you gonna do about it?"

He ran his hands under her t-shirt, feeling her shiver, he broke the kiss to whip her shirt over her head. He kissed her neck, running one of his hands under the waistband of the sweats that hung low on her hips, gripping her ass. "You're so fucking perfect. He pushed the sweats and her panties off her hips and ran his hands over every inch of skin her could reach. "I need to taste you," he picked her up and placed her on the bed, her legs hanging over the side.

Olivia smiled and leaned back on her elbows. She let her head fall back as he kissed down her body, paying attention to her breasts, licking over her skin, stopping when he reached her core, kissing her inner thighs, before licking up her slit. "Fuck," she gasped as she watched him. "Mm." She bit her bottom lip and rested her hand on the back of his head.

Ed took his time, licking, sucking, and kissing, before he pushed two fingers inside of her, twisting his wrist as he pumped them in and out of her, his mouth devouring her. He let out a groan, sending vibrations throughout her body. "So sexy."

She let out a whiney moan, her hands massaging her breasts. "Baby, I'm so close. Don't stop. Please." She begged and pushed her hips up. "Oh, fuck!" She arched her back, feeling his hands on her hips, holding them still as the rest of her body writhed in pleasure.

He grinned and curled his fingers inside her hitting her g-spot, his lips wrapped around her clit. Within seconds she came hard, feeling a wave of pleasure wash over her. He cleaned her up with his mouth, kissing up her body, stopping at her lips. "I could do that all night," he whispered.

Olivia smiled and kissed him passionately. "You're good at that." She bit her bottom lip, her hips pressing up against his. She ran her hands down his back, whipping his shirt over his head. "And as much as I'd love you doing exactly what you just did, all night long, I need your cock," she whispered and looked at him with pouty lips.

Ed moved her so she was fully on the bed. "Whatever you want, my love."

She grinned and let out a breath, feeling him push inside her. "Oh, that's good," her eyes rolled back and she groaned, grabbing his ass, pulling him as close to her body as she could get, her leg wrapping around his hip. "Don't hold back," she whispered in his ear.

He grinned and kissed her neck. "Grab the headboard," he whispered in her ear.

Olivia let out a breath and gripped the posts on the headboard, holding them tightly, she let him lift her leg before he covered her and kissed her passionately, pistoning in and out of her quickly. She moaned into his mouth, her body on fire. She tore her lips from his and let out a groan. "Right there." She arched her back into him. "Oh, yeah. Just like that. Fuck!" She bit his shoulder, muffling her screams.

Ed stopped and slipped out of her. "Roll over." He helped her roll onto her stomach and ran his hands over her back, picking her hips up, giving her time to get on her hands and knees. He leaned over and ran a hand over her back, gently slapping her ass. He lined himself up with her entrance pushing into him again. He heard her groan, pushing her hips back into him.

She groaned, feeling his hands on her hips and her ass as they moved with each other. She felt his palm come down on her ass and she moaned, feeling him pull her up by her hair. She gasped and rested her head on his shoulder. "Oh fuck," she whispered, looking over at him. "Fuck me," she closed her eyes and let out a squeal when his fingers found her clit, one arm moved back so she could hold the back of his head, her hips moving with his. "Ed," she groaned.

He moved his head and kissed her, her back arching. "Come on baby. Oh, Liv, come for me baby."

Olivia's mouth fell open as her orgasm started to tear through her body, her hips jerking sporadically. "Baby, please," she begged. "Baby come inside me."

Ed groaned spanking her one last time before he released inside her. "Oh, yeah." He stopped and fell forward on top of her. They lay there panting, "You okay?" He whispered.

She smiled. "Amazing" she giggled and closed her eyes. "What you do to me," she whispered and looked over her shoulder. "Roll off me so I can kiss you," she smiled as he moved to her side, propping himself up.

He looked at her and caressed her face. When she leaned up and kissed him he reciprocated, sliding the hair tie out of her hair so he could tangle his fingers in her soft brown locks.

Olivia smiled and broke the kiss. "Will you still love me like that when I'm old and gray?"

Ed tucked her hair behind her ear. "For as long as there is breath in my lungs, I want nothing more than to show you exactly how much I love you exactly how I just did."

She smiled and kissed his nose. "Thank you." She ran her hand over his arm. "Thank you for not making me talk about everything," she ran her hand over his chest. "Just, it was all too overwhelming." She shrugged. "I needed a way to breathe, and you, Ed Tucker, are my breath of fresh air. My mouth to mouth resuscitation," she smiled and kissed him again.

He caressed her face. "Liv, you know Noah doesn't hate you, right? He's six, kids, they… they go through that."

Olivia took a deep breath and nodded. "He pushed me, Ed. Literally, pushed me." She shook her head. "You know, sometimes when he acts like what I've been told is a typical boy… I pray to God he isn't being violent because of his genes. I know it's junk science, a way for people to not be responsible for their actions, but Johnny D… Ed he was a horribly violent man."

Ed kissed her forehead. "I know, and I know you worry, but you are proof against that science. Your dad was a rapist, your mom came after you with a jagged piece of glass for dating. And you, Olivia Margaret Benson, have the biggest heart, you'd never hurt a fly." He saw her start to rebut him and he put a hand up. "And if you bring up William Lewis…"

"I beat him within an inch of his life, Ed."

"After he held you captive for four days, after he baited you. You don't go around hurting people. It's different, Olivia, and you know it." Ed looked her square in the eyes. "You are nothing like your parents. Noah is nothing like Johnny D. He's not even being a typical boy, Liv. He's being a typical six year old."

Olivia rested her head on his chest and drew shapes on his chest. "I needed to hear that."

Ed kissed the top of her head. "I know, Liv," he whispered and ran his fingers over her arm. "I know," he turned more on his side and held her close. "What's running through your head?"

She smiled and closed her eyes. "How lucky I am to have you back in my life."

 **A/N: See? Fluff, some plot advancement, smut, distraction. Leave me a review. Here or on Twitter (couricshargitay)**


	7. Too Little, Too Late

**Here's the next chapter, and guess who's still sick? 2 MONTHS guys. I've had this awful cough for 2 months. So I hope this is good.**

The next morning, Ed was the first one up. He went to get out of bed, but Olivia's arms wrapped tighter around him. He settled back in and he felt her smile. "You up?" He whispered softly.

"Mm," she opened her eyes and looked at him. "Morning," she mumbled, kissing his chest then his lips. She broke the kiss and rested her head back on his chest. "I'm glad I have off today. I need sleep. It's been such an emotional few days, my body is just dragging."

He smirked he kissed her forehead. "You weren't dragging last night," he chuckled and saw her playful glare.

Olivia shook her head. "You drive me crazy, in the best way." She kissed him again. "And I love you."

Ed kissed her back and pulled her on top of him, running his hands down her back. "I love you, too."

She giggled and sat back on his hips, feeling his erection, she groaned and gently rocked her hips into his. "Mm, I see someone's feeling a little frisky this morning."

He pulled her back into a kiss. "I thought you were exhausted? You sure you're not too tired?"

Olivia grinned and sat back up. "For this?" She asked, guiding him into her, throwing her head back. "Mm, never too tired for this." She leaned down and kissed him, as she started to ride him. She moaned into the kiss, feeling his hands on her ass. She broke the kiss and groaned, sitting back up and resting her hands on his thighs as she moved, her back arched and her head fell back. "Fuck!"

Ed smirked and watched her, reaching forward and rubbing her clit as she moved. Her mouth fell open. "That's it baby." He moved his hands to her hips, holding them still as he thrust up into her hard and fast. "Shit, Liv." He ran his hands down her thighs. "You're so sexy," he looked up at her and pulled her forward by her hands, kissing her passionately.

She smiled and kissed him back, biting his lower lip as her hips continued to move into his. "I'm so close, don't stop," she whispered and felt his arms wrap around her. Their hips continued to move into each other until they both fell over the edge, Olivia muffling her scream by biting Ed's shoulder.

He groaned. "Goddamnit Liv," he whispered. "Who needs coffee when you have the sexiest woman alive on top of you."

Olivia blushed. "I love you," she kissed him softly. "Let's put on clothes and wait for Noah to get up. We need to talk to him about last night."

Ed caressed her face and kissed her cheek. "You got it beautiful."

She smiled and kissed him one more time and climbed off him and walked over to the dresser, pulling out something comfortable to put on to have this conversation with her son. Her little boy who was always an angel, had never even raised his voice to her. She felt Ed's eyes on her and she turned to face him. "See something you like?" She asked, starting to get dressed.

He smirked and got up, walking over to her. "Just the woman I love." He kissed her softly. "I look at you sometimes and wonder how the hell I got lucky enough for you to agree to date me, now you agreed to marry me…" he kissed her forehead. "That real proposal is still coming, I just want it to be perfect."

Olivia smiled and clasped her bra behind her back, then slipped her T-shirt over her head. "Ed, anything you do, however you propose, is going to be perfect. Because you are perfect."

Ed kissed her lips gently. "I want it to take your breath away."

She smiled. "You always take my breath away." She kissed him once more and pulled on her panties and a pair of shorts. "Get dressed, I'll make some coffee." She smiled and walked out of the room, going over to the Keurig in the kitchen and making a cup of coffee for herself, then one for him.

He walked out after a couple minutes and kissed the back of her head. "Coffee smells good." He whispered.

Olivia smiled and handed him his cup, holding her own mug in her hand. "Tastes even better."

Ed took his cup and took a sip, putting his mug down and wrapping her in his arms. "It'll be okay," he whispered. "With Noah."

She nodded and looked up at him with a smile. "I know," she kissed him gently and ran her free hand over his chest. She broke the kiss softly and smiled at him.

He kissed her forehead and felt her head on his chest. "Are you okay?"

Olivia smiled. "I'll be better once this conversation is over," she whispered. As if on cue, Noah came walking out of his room, rubbing his eyes. Olivia smiled and put her coffee mug down, walking over to him and picking him up. "Good morning, sweet boy," she whispered and kissed the side of his head, feeling him wrap his arms and legs around her.

Noah looked at his mother. "What's wrong, mommy?"

She smiled and took a deep breath. "We need to have a talk about what happened last night. You pushing me." She watched him hang his head. She carried him over to the couch and set him down next to her. "Talk to me Noah, what's going on?"

The young boy looked up at his mother. "I didn't want to go to bed."

Olivia nodded. "Okay, but you know we use our words, not our hands."

Noah shrugged. "These boys at school… the older boys, when they push people down they get what they want."

Her heart broke, she held him on her lap. "Do they push you?"

He shook his head. "No, but when I see them coming I move out of the way."

Olivia held him tight. "Noah, it's never okay to hit, or push, or kick, or hurt anyone, okay? Those boys… they get what they want by hurting people, and making other kids afraid. It's not a way to get what you want, okay? You never ever lay your hands on someone else."

Noah looked up at her. "Did I hurt you?"

She bit her bottom lip. "No, not… not physically. But you did hurt my feelings," she whispered and rubbed his back.

His face fell and he hung his head again. "I'm sorry mommy." He looked up at her.

Olivia ran her finger over his cheek. "I forgive you, but that doesn't mean what you did is okay."

Noah nodded, and seemed content for a moment, but then he slowly looked up at her, and his next question shattered her heart into pieces. "Do you still love me?"

She instantly wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes, kissing the top of his head. "Of course I do," she whispered and pulled away, looking into his eyes. "Noah, I will always, always love you. No matter what, okay? There is nothing in this world that you could do that would make me stop loving you, even if I don't like your actions, even if I'm mad, I will always love you, I promise. And I will tell you every day as often as I can that I love you, even if you don't say it back."

He curled into her chest, much like he did when he was a toddler. "I love you mommy," he whispered.

Olivia kissed the top of his head. "I love you, too, Noah. So much." She rested her cheek on the top of his head and gently rocked him.

Ed walked over and sat next to the two of them. "How about I make breakfast?" He asked softly, massaging Olivia's shoulder.

She lifted her head and reached toward Ed with one hand, squeezing his thigh. "That sounds great," she whispered and leaned over and kissed him softly. She pulled Ed closer and rested her head on his shoulder. The two most important people in her life, her son, and her fiancé, were right there.

He kissed her head and rubbed Noah's back. "Let me get breakfast started." He got up and walked into the kitchen starting on pancakes, eggs, and bacon. He watched Olivia snuggling with Noah on the couch, holding him tightly.

After about a half an hour, Ed announced that breakfast was ready and Olivia and Noah walked over to the breakfast nook where Ed had served their plates. Olivia smiled. "This looks and smells incredible." She walked around the counter into the kitchen. "Thank you," she whispered and kissed his lips gently.

Ed kissed her back, then broke it, kissing her nose. "Go eat your breakfast," He whispered and saw her make eye contact and wink before she turned around and sat next to Noah at the breakfast nook and started eating her breakfast.

The family of three ate their breakfast with friendly banter, and once they finished, Olivia sent Noah to get ready for school. She walked into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around Ed. "You are such a good cook," she whispered, biting gently on his earlobe. "You take such good care of us." She felt his hands on her hips, heard him let out a breath. "We have the house to ourselves once Noah's at school, I plan on showing you not only how grateful I am for you, but how much I love you," she whispered and turned and walked away, walking into the bedroom to get dressed in jeans and a shirt that hugged her just right, but not in a way that was inappropriate for a school drop off. She walked back out to the kitchen, wrapping her arms around Ed from behind. "You are so sexy," she whispered in his ear.

He dried his hands and turned in her arms. "Holy shit, Liv," he whispered, looking over her body. "If we were alone—"

Olivia cut him off by kissing him. "I know," she whispered and ran her hands over his chest. She heard Noah run out of his room, proclaiming he was ready for school. "Hold that thought for just a half hour while I drop Noah off." She smiled and leaned in and whispered. "When I get home, I'm going to rock your world." She pulled back and bit her bottom lip. "I love you," she kissed his cheek and giggled, slipping into a pair of sneakers and helping Noah put his coat and backpack on, grabbing a zip up hoodie and sliding it on. "Let's go sweet boy."

Ed watched her move gracefully about and once they left he groaned, looking down at himself, taking a breath, realizing he had started getting hard. He smirked and shook his head. He knew Olivia would be back soon enough. He waited on the couch, and a half hour simultaneously felt like hours and seconds. Once he saw the door open, he sprang up and once she was inside he pressed her against the door, closing it in the process. "Welcome home," He whispered and kissed her passionately, pulling her hips closer to his.

She moaned and wrapped her arms around him, letting out a longer, lower moan as their hips ground together. She broke the kiss and moaned as he kissed down her neck. "Ed," she bit her bottom lip.

He smirked and gripped her ass, pulling her closer. "You're so sexy in these jeans," he playfully slapped her ass, "and this top," he ran his hands under the fabric, she shivered and moaned.

Olivia looked into his eyes, pushing him back, walking them both toward the couch, playfully pushing him down. She took her top off, revealing her black lace bra. She bit her bottom lip and squeezed her breasts. "Mm. Ed," she gasped and turned around, feeling his hands on her ass.

Ed pulled her down to sit in her lap. "These jeans," he whispered as he unbuttoned and unzipped them. "You are so sexy in them, but I need them off." He ran his hands over her back. "And this," He whispered, unhooking her bra, letting the straps fall from her shoulders.

She looked back at him as she started moving her hips over him. She grinned as he moaned. "Jeans off?" She stood up and pushed them down, along with her panties, still facing away from him. She felt him spank her lightly and she let out a moan. "Mm," he pulled her back down and she gasped, feeling his erection, covered by the taught fabric of his boxers. Her hips started moving again, her head falling back. "Oh," she turned and looked back at him. She stood up and turned around, getting on her knees. She pulled his boxers down, freeing his erection. "This, right now, is all about you. Tell me what you want."

He helped her stand up. "Turn around." She smiled and did as he requested. He pulled her back into his lap. He rubbed her clit, dipping his fingers inside her. "Fuck, baby."

Olivia groaned at the feeling of his fingers on her, in her. "Mm. Yes please," she looked back. "I need you, Ed." Her hips moved into his hand, needing the contact.

Ed moved his fingers and pushed inside of her, hearing her moan. "Oh, Liv," he held her hips as she moved them, riding him. He held her hips still and started thrusting up into her, moving harder and faster, feeling her walls start to contract around him. "Mm, you like that?"

Her moans were loud and she moved her hips with his. "Oh, yeah." She looked back at him. "Don't stop. Oooh." She groaned, feeling his fingers rub her clit again, her head falling back. "Right there, right there, yes!"

He groaned and started thrusting harder and faster. "Come on baby, I'm so close, I need you to come."

Olivia groaned and massaged her breasts. She felt his release inside her and that was it, she came hard, screaming his name. "Oh fuck, baby." She let her head fall back against his shoulder. "Mm." She relaxed, her hips still jerking with orgasm. Once she finished, she let out a breath and smiled, sated. "Wow." She giggled and turned slightly in his lap, kissing him passionately.

Ed ran his hand over her front. "God, you're so sexy." He saw her smile and kissed her neck. "And those jeans, Liv. God those jeans," he groaned.

She giggled. "I knew you'd like them. They do make my ass look amazing." She kissed him again and groaned.

He kissed her back. "Your ass always looks amazing." He smirked. "What we just did, that was amazing." He ran his hands over her legs. "It always is with you."

Olivia stood up, moaning softly at the feeling of him slipping out of her. She faced him and straddled him, resting her forehead on his. "You make it amazing. You make sure I'm satisfied, no matter what."

Ed tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I love you so much, Liv. I want nothing more than to make you happy and satisfy you and love you for the rest of our lives."

She smiled and nuzzled into his neck. "Good thing we're getting married then, huh?" She giggled and the two of them stood up, collected their clothes and moved into the bedroom.

He went to his nightstand drawer. "I uh… I can't wait any longer to give you this. I want this ring on your finger. You were right, no matter how I do this it'll be perfect. So, Olivia Margaret Benson," he got down on one knee. "I love you immensely. Make me the happiest man alive, be my wife."

Olivia gasped, she had already accepted his proposal once, but this ring was breathtaking. "Ed," she inhaled and nodded. "Yes. Yes," he slipped the ring on her nimble, shaking finger. "Oh, Ed," she looked at him and kissed him passionately. She looked down at the antique teal apatite diamond ring, a custom halo setting in white gold. "This is beautiful."

Ed kissed her gently. "Not nearly as beautiful as you."

She smiled and hugged him tightly. "I love you, Ed. So much."

He held her tightly. "I love you, too, Olivia." He closed his eyes and smiled. "This doesn't feel real. I'm marrying Olivia Benson."

Olivia smiled. "Oh, it's real," she wrapped her arms around him. "As real as this," she whispered, kissing him again. She felt him kiss back and she smiled and let out a moan, when she heard a knock on the door. She broke the kiss and groaned. "Damn it," she whispered and took her robe and threw it on, rushing to the door, expecting it to be one of her neighbors, and opening it. "Wh—-What are you doing here?"

Elliot Stabler looked at her with a smile. "Nice to see you too," he moved to hug her but she pushed him away. "Come on, Liv."

She shook her head. "No, no come on, no hug what the hell are you doing here?"

He let out a breath. "I wanted to talk. I— I finally divorced Kathy. It's over."

Olivia looked at him. "Okay, congratulations?" She asked and crossed her arms. "What do you want?"

Elliot shook his head, a tight smile on his face. "You're not making this easy on me are you? Look, Liv, I love you. And now with Kathy out of the picture we can be together."

She scoffed and shook her head. "You bastard," she moved hand hand with the ring on it through her hair. "You expected me to what, wait for you?" She shook her head. "I waited twelve years for you to tell me you loved me and that you wanted to be with me. That you were going to leave Kathy and… and then you left. I haven't heard from you in what 8 years? You really expected me to be sitting around waiting for you?" She shook her head. "You're too late, Elliot."

He listened to her. "I just assumed—" he saw the ring on her hand. He took her hand in his before she angrily ripped it away from him. "You're engaged." He said, a statement, more than a question. "Who?"

Olivia shook her head. "You don't get to do this. Not anymore." She heard Ed call for her. "Everything's okay, baby, I'll be back in a minute." She looked at Elliot. "Go."

Elliot recognized the voice and he furrowed his brow. "Tucker? Ed Tucker? Rat? That's your fiancé?"

She took a deep breath. "Baby, can you come in here please? With something on, preferably." She looked at Elliot. "He's given me the world, Elliot—"

"He arrested you."

"He was doing his job. He's given me the world. The whole world, and the moon." Olivia smiled. "He left IAB, then he retired. He wasn't afraid to put me first. Even when I couldn't, even when I can't, even when I have to put my son first." She felt Ed's arm around her, protectively.

Ed looked at their visitor. "Stabler." He gave a curt nod, he looked down at Olivia. "You okay?" He whispered in her ear.

She smiled and nodded, giving him a small chaste kiss on the lips. "Elliot, after you left I waited six months for you, for you to come back and confess your love for me. Then I couldn't wait anymore. I moved on, and so should you."

Elliot looked at her. "Moved on? To Tucker? He's using you."

Ed moved to say something but Olivia cut him off. "He loves me Elliot. He's not the one using me here." She took a deep breath. "You don't get to walk in here after not talking to me for the better part of a decade and expect me to fall all over you. I know better, never get into a relationship with someone who cheated with you. They'll cheat on you."

Elliot looked between her and Ed. "You really don't have an issue talking about your past sex life with him?"

Olivia shrugged. "He already knows. He knows everything about me."

"No, I know everything about you."

She shook her head. "No, no you don't. There were things I didn't tell you because it wasn't your business, as much as you tried to make it your business. And it's been years, a lot has happened. Ed's been there through it all." She looked at Ed and smiled.

Elliot looked at them. "You guys are serious?"

Ed looked over. "Look, you had your shot, you never took a relationship with Olivia seriously. You slept with her, but you never wanted more than that. Or else… you'd have done something about it."

Olivia looked at Elliot. "I waited, Elliot, I did, but then the thoughts that I wasn't enough for anyone started to creep in. Then, David Haden came along, showed me what it was to matter to someone, until he got a job offer I pushed him to take, because I didn't want him resenting me. Then Cassidy, until he didn't want kids, and that's all I've ever wanted. And then I adopted my son, and Ed came along… he loves us both. So much so that when I pushed him away he respected that, and when I needed him, needed his comfort, because I couldn't do it on my own anymore, he was there. Anytime I call he always answers." She smiled. "Elliot, I loved you, for a long time. And I waited, I waited like a lovesick puppy dog, and I felt terrible about myself. Ed, Ed loves me. Scars and all."

Ed looked down at her and kissed her temple. "I love you," he whispered.

Olivia looked back at him and smiled, then at Elliot. "Take care of yourself, Elliot." She nodded as he turned to walk away. She closed and locked the door and she turned in Ed's arms. "That was unexpected."

Ed chuckled. "You handled that better than I would have." He said honestly. "If I were you, I'd probably have slapped him."

She laughed and shrugged. "A couple years ago, I probably would have. But I just got done talking to my son about how we use our words, not our hands." She kissed him softly. "I always imagined what it would be like when I saw him again. At first he'd sweep me off my feet, then as time passed, I always figured I'd slap him." She chuckled. "But then as I moved past that anger, I knew I wouldn't. Not unless he tried to kiss me or something." She looked at him. "You were civil," she chuckled. "Even talking about me sleeping with him, you didn't raise your voice, didn't call him names."

He smiled. "Well, I'm not that cranky IAB cop anymore. Plus, it doesn't bother me. We've both had partners in our past. What matters to me isn't that he's seen you naked, that you two slept together, what matters to me is that I get to fall asleep with you every night, wake up with you every morning, for the rest of our lives."

Olivia smiled and sidled up to him. "And the sex?" She asked, untying the belt of her robe, letting it fall open.

Ed groaned. "Oh, that's a definite plus," he kissed her passionately.

She moaned and broke the kiss. "For what it's worth, you are be best lover I've ever had. You're the only one I haven't faked it with."

He groaned and picked her up carrying her back into the bedroom. Pushing her against the wall, hearing her moan. "I'm so glad I'm the only one who gets to hear that moan now."

Olivia smirked. "Now, and for the rest of our lives."

 **A/N: so, there's the ring, the Elliot scene was inspired by this tweet going around that the "real" fans want Olivia Elliot together in the end, this would be how I would want him to come back, if he comes back at all. And guess what, if you don't want Olivia and Elliot together, you're still a real fan. Anyway, leave me a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay).**


	8. Mommy and Me and Tucker

**Back at it again with the white vans... I mean... Tuckson smut fluff. Enjoy.**

Olivia's back pressed against the cool tile of the shower as the hot water beat down on Ed's back. He was on his knees, one of her legs over his shoulder as his tongue ran over her slit. "Fuck!" She held his head, her back arched. "Oh, my God Ed!" She felt the leg she was standing on start to give out but he threw it over his shoulder.

Ed pushed his fingers inside of her, moving them slowly, matching the pace of the way his tongue licked her, the way he sucked on her clit. It didn't take long before he had her in overdrive. Every nerve was on edge and he was moving so slow, because he wanted her to enjoy every millisecond of the pleasure he was giving her. "You're mesmerizing," he whispered.

She whimpered. "Baby, please," she begged. "God I'm so close, just let me come," she groaned when he stopped and let her legs fall, standing up. "Baby," she whined.

He grinned. "You ready?" He asked, pulling her into a kiss. He heard her groan and felt her hand wrap around him, stroking him. He broke the kiss. "Fuck." He closed his eyes, thrusting into her hand.

Olivia smiled. "Inside me, now," she pulled him back into a kiss, guiding him into her, pulling away, letting out a moan. "Oh, baby, you feel so good." She wrapped around him, her nails scratching at his back. "Move." She looked into his eyes.

Ed groaned as he started thrusting inside of her, feeling her hips meet his. He kissed her again, moving his hands over her naked body, massaging her breasts. "Oh, Liv, I love you so much."

She groaned and held him tighter. "I love you too." Her back arched and she let out a loud moan. "Harder, baby," she begged. She felt his thrusts her harder and she kissed him passionately, drowning out her scream of ecstasy.

He held her tight as he thrust as hard as he could into her, picking up speed. He kissed her back, breaking the kiss. "Come for me, baby." He whispered against her lips. "I need you to come for me," he rested a hand next to her head against the tile wall.

Olivia felt her head thud against the wall, her mouth falling open. "Ed!" She screamed as she felt her orgasm taking over her body. She felt his release inside of her and she moaned. "Mm," she rode out her orgasm and collapsed back against the wall, her breathing heavy. "Oh, baby," she smiled and closed her eyes.

Ed kissed her neck and wrapped his arms around her. "That was incredible," he whispered, nuzzling into her neck.

She smiled and ran her hands over his shoulders. She felt the water hit her skin and she yelped. "The water's freezing. We should get out and get under the covers." She smiled and turned the shower off, feeling a shiver run through her body.

He helped her out of the shower and wrapped her in a towel, kissing her lips gently. "Go put on something warm before you freeze." He whispered, kissing her one more time. He took a towel and wrapped it around his waist, following her into the bedroom, seeing her slip into one of his NYPD hoodies that was too big for her, but she loved because they were cozy, and she said they smelled like him. He put on sweats and a plain white tee and climbed into bed next to her, under the blankets. "You alright?"

Olivia smiled. "Better now," she snuggled up close to him and took a deep breath. "I'm so tired."

Ed stroked her hair. "Take a nap. I know how tired you are, how draining this week has been. And then Elliot showing up. I know that must have affected you somehow."

She smiled softly. "It did, as much as I don't want it to, it does. Maybe it's a kind of closure I never got, he told me he loved me, which I wanted to hear for so long. But I stopped pining for him, and I found the man of my dreams," she smiled and kissed Ed softly. "And I'm so thankful for you every day of my life. Never doubt that."

He caressed her face. "Liv, I'm not jealous. I know you love me, and I know that you and I are forever." He kissed her again, wrapping the blanket around them tighter. "Sleep."

Olivia closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them again. "Noah," She whispered, moving to set her alarm so she could be sure to pick him up on time.

Ed stopped her and kissed her forehead. "I'll pick him up." He kissed her lips and took her phone, turned off her alarm and reached over her, putting it back on her nightstand. He turned his alarm on just in case he, too, fell asleep. "Close your eyes and sleep, baby." He whispered, holding her close.

She nodded and closed her eyes, quickly falling into a peaceful, content sleep. She stirred and groaned when Ed's alarm went off. She moved to get up, but he pulled her back down and kissed her gently.

He caressed her face. "I'll go get Noah, go back to sleep. You need your rest. I don't want you getting run down and sick on me."

Olivia smiled. "Okay," she said, her voice groggy and laced with sleep. She watched him get up and then her eyes slipped closed and she drifted off to sleep again.

Ed picked up Noah and brought him back to the apartment, making him a snack and putting on a movie for him. He poked his head in and checked on Olivia, kissing her forehead.

She stirred when she felt his lips on her forehead. "Ed?" She looked around. "God, it's so hot," she kicked off two of the three layers of blankets. "What time is it?"

He caressed her face, feeling her nuzzle into his hand. "Quarter to five. Noah's having apple slices and peanut butter and watching Wreck it Ralph." He smiled and sat next to her on the bed, kissing her gently. "Can I get you something to drink? A snack?"

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "A snack?" She kissed him again. "How about I get out of bed and we start working on dinner?" She smiled and rested her forehead against his.

Ed kissed her and ran his fingers along her arms. "Already started," he whispered and kissed her again. "Anything I can do to make your life easier." He kissed her neck and smiled when he heard her let out a breathy moan.

She smiled and pulled away. "Easy, love," she whispered and kissed his cheek. "Save that for our midnight snack," she giggled and kissed him quickly. "What are we having for dinner?"

He chuckled. "Chicken stir fry," he rubbed his hand up her back and kissed the top of her head.

Olivia smiled. And wrapped her arms around his arm. "You're an incredible man, you know that?" She whispered and kissed his shoulder.

Ed caressed her face with his free hand, pulling her into a passionate kiss, hearing her moan. He smiled and slipped his tongue past her lips and deepened the kiss, knowing that Noah was in the living room, and they didn't have time, but in that moment, he craved her kiss.

She let her arms fall and she held his face in both her hands as she maneuvered herself to straddle him, their tongues dancing, her teeth biting on his lower lip as she pulled away. Her breath was coming in pants. One hand sliding behind his head, cradling the nape of his neck as her forehead rested against his. "I love you, too," she whispered and smiled, looking into his eyes.

He kissed her forehead, his arms wrapped around her, standing up. He heard her gasp and giggle. "I have to go check on dinner, and I think Noah's looking for you," He whispered in her ear, slowly setting her down. "Come on beautiful," He whispered softly and took her hand in his own, walking out of the bedroom, hand in hand.

Olivia kissed Ed's cheek and then walked over to the couch and sat next to Noah. "What'cha watching?" She asked gently.

Noah looked at her and smiled. "Mommy!" He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her. "I missed you!"

She hugged him back and kissed the top of his head. "You did?" She held him in her lap. "I missed you, too." She

The young boy saw the ring on her finger and looked at it, then at his mother. "What's that?"

Olivia smiled. "It's a ring. An engagement ring. You see, Tucker asked me to marry him, and I said yes. I couldn't imagine not having either of you in my life."

Noah looked at his mom. "When you get married… what does that mean… for me?"

She smiled. "Well, it means that Tucker—"

He cut her off. "Will Tucker be my Daddy?"

Olivia looked back at Ed, who slowly looked up, then at Noah. "Is— is that what you want, sweet boy?"

Ed had stopped what he was doing and walked over to the couch and sat on the coffee table. Noah looked at him and then at his mom. "It'd be nice to have a daddy. It'd be even nicer to have a daddy like Tucker."

Ed felt a tear in his eye. "No, if that's what you want, I'd be honored to be your dad." He looked up at Olivia. "As long as you and mom are okay with it."

Olivia smiled and looked down at Noah, then at Ed. "I'm absolutely okay with it." She took Ed's hand in hers.

Noah smiled. "Me too!" He hopped onto Ed's lap and hugged him. "Before, I was the only one in school who didn't have a daddy. Miss Smiley said that all kids had daddies, even if they didn't live at home."

Olivia looked at Ed. "What did you say, Noah?"

Noah shrugged. "I told her that I never met my daddy, it was always just mommy and me."

Olivia took a deep breath. "Well, you always have had me, and you always will. And now you have a daddy in Tucker," she smiled and looked at him.

Ed looked down at him. "I'd be honored to be your dad, Noah."

Noah smiled. "What happened to my other daddy, the one who doesn't live with us?"

Olivia closed her eyes and exhaled. The question she'd always dreaded. "Noah, he…" she shook her head. "He was a mean man, he hurt a lot of people."

"You put him in jail?"

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I tried." She knew she had to choose her words carefully here, as to not emotionally scar him for life. "He um… he died, Noah."

"Oh," he looked down and then back up at his mom. "Did I ever meet him?"

Olivia shook her head. "No, sweetie. I wanted to protect you, he was really mean, he did a lot of bad things to a lot of people. I wouldn't let anyone like that around my precious boy." She smiled softly.

Noah looked up at Ed. "Thank you for being nice, and wanting to be my daddy." The young boy hugged his soon to be adoptive father.

Ed held him tight. "Anything for you and mom."

Olivia smiled and kissed Noah's forehead, then Ed's. "I love both of you so much," she whispered.

Noah smiled and looked at Tucker. "Can I call you Daddy now?"

Ed nodded. "Absolutely, No. Absolutely."

Olivia smiled and squeezed Ed's hand, and smiling at Noah, her own tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She took Noah from Ed so he could finish dinner and she kissed his forehead gently. "Go wash up for dinner, okay?" She watched him run off, and she got up and walked into the kitchen, leaning on the counter, looking up at Ed.

"You're staring."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you," she whispered. "For loving me and Noah," she kissed him gently. "For wanting us as your family. Forever."

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her lips, holding her close, before he pulled away and smiled. "Thank you for trusting me, and wanting me as a part of your family."

"Always."

 **A/N: Hope you enjoyed and that it all made sense. I'm going to stop bringing up the fact that I'm sick. It's not an excuse for shitty writing. I also have some incredible news coming, and as soon as I can share with you all, I will! Leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay). See ya in chapter 9.**


	9. Playing

**I know I just updated, but I've been procrastinating studying and writing papers for class. So it'll probably be about a week before my next update, once I get all my stuff for school done I'll post another update, and hopefully by then my news will be out and I can share with all of you!! Follow me on Twitter to stay up to date!**

Olivia cuddled on next to Ed, her head on his chest. "Today was a hell of a day," she whispered. "You gave me my beautiful engagement ring, that's perfect. Elliot showed up, Noah's excited to have you as a dad," she smiled and looked up at him. "You make me so happy."

Ed stroked her hair. "Right back at you, beautiful." He looked down at her and smiled, kissing her lips softly. "I have a feeling I know the answer already, but have you ever thought about your wedding?"

She chuckled. "Mm, I think every girl has." She traced shapes on his chest. "My idea of the perfect wedding has changed so many times." She bit her bottom lip. "When I was a kid, I would try to imagine the sophisticated wedding Holly Golightly would have. A big, puffy dress, Tiffany jewels…" she shook her head. "Then I got older, and it was Steel Magnolias." She grinned. "Blush and bashful," she said in her best impression of Shelby from the movie. "The Royal Wedding happened, Diana and Charles. I stayed up for 36 hours straight between walking the beat and watching that wedding." She shook her head, biting her lip. "But as I've gotten older, I don't want a big wedding, I don't want to look like a cream puff, I don't want to spend thousands of dollars on a day, money that can go towards our honeymoon, Noah's education." She ran her fingers over his bare chest. "Now, my ideal wedding is you, me, a judge, as few witnesses as we can get away with and Noah. I don't want every cop in the city packed into some event spot in uptown Manhattan watching us promise to love each other forever, because at the end of the day, the only ones who matter to me are you and Noah. We'll have a reception, small, friends and family, but that… that is my dream wedding."

"What if it changes, and you want a wedding dress and the aisle and all that down the line?"

"Then we do a vow renewal," she smiled and kissed him softly. "Don't you worry that handsome, sexy mind of yours about a thing, except loving me," she whispered and kissed him again, feeling him roll on top of her. She arched into him and let out a moan.

He kissed down her neck, biting gently on her skin. "Should we keep talking about the wedding, or are we done for now?"

Olivia pulled him up and took him in her hand, stroking him. "You want to keep talking or do you want to have hot, passionate sex with your fiancée, who I may add, is so hot for you, right this second," she whispered, pushing her hips up, rubbing the head of his dick along her wet center, moaning.

Ed groaned, his elbows giving way from holding him up, instead of resting on his hands, he rested on his elbows, his lips now millimeters rom hers. "Fuck, Liv."

She smiled and kissed him passionately. "No objections here," she giggled and continued kissing him, feeling him push inside her. "Ah, yeah baby," she whimpered as he started moving inside her. "Just like that," she closed her eyes and smiled.

He kissed her neck as he continued moving inside her, starting to move faster, seeing her eyes shoot open as she moaned. "That's it," he lifted her leg over his shoulder and moved harder, kissing her to swallow her moans.

Olivia tore her lips from his, needing air, biting his shoulder to muffle her moans. He was hitting all the right spots and she felt her orgasm building, a fire in her belly. "Ed, baby!" She was writing beneath him as he moved, strong and steady. "Oh God," she scratched his back, her muscles tensing as her orgasm started to take over her. "I— I'm—" she couldn't finish the sentence, he had her in such a state of pure pleasure words couldn't form on her lips.

Ed grinned and slowed down as he released inside of her. He let her ride her orgasm out, and let her leg fall. Kissing her neck and up to her lips. "Good?" He whispered against her lips.

She smiled as she caught her breath. "Amazing." She kissed him again. "I love you so much, Ed."

He caressed her face. "I love you, too," He whispered. "More than I could even put into words." He kissed her again, then there was a knock at the door.

Olivia gently pushed him off her and wrapped herself in her robe. "Hold on Noah," she called through the door and looked back at Ed, giving him time to slip into his boxers. She opened the door, once Ed had his boxers on, and crouched down. "What's the matter sweet boy?" Noah had a panicked expression on his face.

"I heard you screaming," he looked over his mother for signs that she was hurt. "Are you okay?"

Olivia blushed slightly and hugged him. "Mommy's fine sweetheart."

"I wanted to come make sure you were okay, but I was afraid that a bad guy was hurting you."

She took a deep breath. "No one was hurting me, sweet boy. I promise, I'm totally fine."

"Why were you screaming?"

Olivia looked back at Ed and then at Noah. "I— we were— Ed?"

Ed walked over and crouched down next to Olivia. "Your mom and I were playing, we got a little too loud, I'm sorry bud."

"What were you playing? Can I play?"

"No!" They exclaimed in unison, before Olivia took over. "No, sweet boy. It's a game for grown ups. And it's a special game between two people, it's private."

"It's a secret?"

Olivia smiled at his simplification of their explanation. "Yes, Sweetheart, it's a secret game." She kissed his forehead. ""You feel better now?" She saw Noah nod. "Okay, let's get back to bed."

Noah walked into is room with Olivia following behind him. He climbed into bed and looked at his mother. "You promise you're okay?"

She smiled and brushed his hair back. "I promise," she whispered and kissed his forehead, tucking him in. "Try to get some more sleep, okay?"

Noah smiled. "Okay, mommy. I love you!"

Olivia smiled. "I love you, too, Noah." She kissed his forehead again and turned his light off. "Goodnight." She walked back into the bedroom she now shared with the man of her dreams. She waited in the doorway, leaning against the door jamb, looking at Ed who was reading something on his phone.

It took Ed a few moments to notice her in the doorway, he turned and looked at her. "You are breathtaking."

She pushed off the door jamb and walked over to the bed, sitting down and leaning over to kiss him. "Thank you." She stood up and shed her robe, crawling under the covers and curling up next to Ed. "He almost caught us."

He wrapped his arms around her. "He didn't, he just heard his mommy making some noises he's never heard before. Noises I happen to think are sexy as hell."

Olivia playfully hit him with her pillow before covering her head with it, saying something that was garbled by the pillow.

Ed laughed. "Come again?"

She took the pillow off her face. "I said, I don't remember the last time I was this embarrassed. And no, no more coming tonight."

He couldn't help but chuckle. "Liv, kids walk in on their parents. I did. It was scary at the time, until you get older and realize that most people have sex."

Olivia sighed. "I never had that problem. I had a single mom, and even when she brought boyfriends home once I was in bed for the night I generally didn't get up. Even when I had nightmares, I soothed myself back to sleep. That's what happens when your mom's a drunk."

Ed held her close. "Listen, he didn't see anything, he heard, but didn't come checking out the noises. If it makes you feel better, we'll lock the door when we're going to 'play' and he's home."

She smiled. "That'd make me feel better." She kissed him gently. "I am so in love with you, Ed Tucker."

He ran his fingers over her back. "I am deliriously in love with you, Olivia Margaret Benson," he whispered. "Let's get some sleep, as much as I love how much we've been enjoying each other lately, I think we could both use the sleep."

Olivia grinned. "I think you're right," she kissed his chest, pulling the covers up further around her wrapping herself around Ed as they settled in and drifted off to sleep together.

The next morning Olivia woke up with Ed staring at her. "You're boring holes in my head," she mumbled then rubbed her eyes looking up at him. "Morning."

Ed kissed her passionately, feeling her smile against his lips. "Good morning, beautiful." He kissed down her neck and slipped under the covers, kissing over every part of her body he could get to.

She sighed and smiled. "Ed, Noah…" she gasped and let her head fall back.

"It's the weekend, he'll be asleep for at least another half hour," he murmured continuing to kiss her body.

"At least lock the door so he doesn't wake up and walk in to his mother orgasming," Olivia pulled him up and kissed him, slipping out of bed and locking the door. "Besides, it's your turn," she giggled and pushed him down, getting on her knees, stroking him. "You take such good care of me, I don't show you how much I appreciate it nearly enough. Let you sit back, relax, and enjoy letting me make you come for me." She kissed the tip of his dick and licked up the shaft. "So, just relax, and let go."

Ed took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Liv—"

"Shhh," she whispered and looked up at him. "Look at me. Watch me," she smiled and moved her hair to the side, making eye contact with him. She took him into her mouth and started moving over him with ease, occasionally stopping and stroking him, all the while, her free hand playing with her clit. She let out soft moans and whimpers as she moved, knowing he was getting close to his climax by his reactions. She stopped and looked at him, a smirk on her face, her hand still moving over him, watching him unravel beneath her fingertips.

"Oh, yeah," he whispered and looked into her eyes. "I'm so close Liv."

"How do you want to finish? Want me to swallow all of it, or do you want to come in my pussy? Or on me somewhere? You see, it's really up to you," she continued rubbing her clit, keeping eye contact with him.

He sat up and pulled her up, kissing her passionately, "Turn around," he whispered and held her back to his chest, pushing into her from behind. He heard her let out a breathy moan.

Olivia reached her hand back to rest on the back of his head as he grasped her hips tightly and thrust into her at a steady pace. "Come on baby. Come for me."

Ed gave one last thrust before he spilled into her. He bit her neck, hearing her gasp as her orgasm took over. "Oh, baby." He panted and pulled out of her, wrapping his arms around her.

"Lay back so I can lay down, my legs are shaky." She giggled and cuddled up next to him. "Mm, morning sex is amazing," she said matter of factly.

"Best way to wake up." He looked down at her, kissing her gently.

Olivia smiled and kissed him back. "We should put on clothes and unlock the door. We can stay in here and cuddle until Noah wakes up."

Ed smirked. "Can you feel your legs yet?"

She bit her bottom lip. "I was hoping you would be the best fiancé in the whole wide world and hand me my shirt and shorts."

He kissed her and chuckled. "Anything for you, my love." He got up and collected her clothes and passed them to her as he got dressed and unlocked the door.

Olivia slipped the shirt over her head and pulled her shorts up and then crawled into bed next to Ed and cuddled with him. "I like waking up next to you." She smiled.

Ed held her and kissed her forehead. "I wouldn't want to wake up any other way." He let it so for a moment. "Which I now realize sounds like I want to wake up with you or not at all, ignore that."

She smiled. "I know what you meant." She held his hand, intertwining their fingers. She kissed his knuckles and smiled. "We fit so well together."

He stroked her hair. "In every way." He kissed her hair and ran his fingers over her shoulder.

 **A/N: I hope this will hold you over for a week while I focus on midterms and papers. Please review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay), and again, follow my Twitter for updates on my super exciting news!**


	10. Drunk in Love

**Midterm exams are over, but in the US the midterm elections are in a week! VOTE! But in the mean time, enjoy some Tuckson smut, courtesy of yours truly.**

Olivia was in the kitchen making lunch while Ed and Noah went over his spelling words, something Noah wasn't a fan of, but was happy to do it when he realized that he'd get to spend some one on one time with Ed. She watched them in between cutting up tomatoes for sandwiches and smiled. She watched Ed walk into the kitchen and to the fridge to get out a bottle of water for him and a juice box for Noah. "Hydration break?" She asked with a smirk.

Ed kissed her cheek and smiled. "All that talking, we're getting a little thirsty." He wrapped an arm around her and looked at her. "How's lunch coming along?"

She smirked. "I keep getting distracted watching how adorable the two of you are together." She kissed his lips gently.

Noah looked back. "Daddy, I got it!"

Both adults from and pulled away from the other, staring at each other, never breaking eye contact. Ed spoke. "I'll be right there, bud."

Olivia kissed his shoulder. "Is this the first time he's called you Daddy and not Tucker?" She saw him nod. "It never gets old. No better kid to have calling you mommy, or daddy in your case." She looked up at him. "Go, he's waiting for his daddy," she grinned and kissed him once more before going back to making lunch, watching him walk back to the couch, helping him with his spelling words.

Ed looked back at her and smiled as Noah was spelling words. "Good job bud, I'm proud of you."

Noah wrapped his arms around Ed with a smile on his face. "Thank you Daddy! I love you."

Ed felt his heart burst. "I love you, too, No."

Olivia walked in with sandwiches for everyone and smiled, setting them on the table. "Who's ready for a bit of a break to have some food?"

Noah smiled. "Me! Me!"

"You, you?" She smiled and handed him a sandwich. "Your favorite, turkey and cheese with tomato and mustard." She kissed his head and looked at Ed. "Hungry?" She handed him a sandwich.

"Famished," he replied and accepted the sandwich, smiling as she chuckled at him. "Delicious."

Olivia shook her head and picked up her own sandwich. The three of them ate lunch, worked more on spelling, and then watched a movie. Their day was relaxing and easy, after a second movie they ordered dinner and played a game of Monopoly before Ed and Olivia put Noah to bed. Once they walked out of his room, Ed pulled Olivia into their bedroom, closing and locking the door. "Ed, what—" his lips were on hers in an instant.

Ed's hands moved over her body and she moaned softly. "You're so sexy," he whispered and rested his forehead against hers. "Always, but today, seeing you, no make up, comfortable clothes, your hair back in a messy bun, laughing and just being unequivocally you…" He kissed her neck. "Jesus, Liv, I've wanted you all day."

She let out a moan and tilted her head. "Mm," She held the back of his head, feeling her heart start to race. She slipped her hands under his shirt and pushed it up, feeling his kisses on her neck stop while she pulled the shirt over his head. She kissed his lips, holding his head in her hands, feeling him push her shorts down. She stepped out of them and walked them back to the bed, pushing him down and ridding herself of her shirt, leaving her in a bra and panties. Her eyes were dark with desire, she got on her knees in front of him and slowly took off his pants, leaving him in a pair of boxers. She licked her lips and smirked. "I want you," she whispered, running her fingers over his thighs, standing up and crawling onto the bed, staying on her knees. "Swing your legs over."

He was in awe of her. He did as she asked and laid completely on the bed, he watched her slowly move up his body, once she was on top of him, he held her hips and kissed her passionately. "You're so sexy," her murmured against her lips.

Olivia smiled. She loved captivating Ed, every chance she got. She broke the kiss and looked into his eyes. "You make me feel like the sexiest woman alive." She leaned back on his thighs and started to move her hips against his, their last pieces of clothing being the only barrier between contact, but offering new sensations to each. "Oh, Ed."

Ed groaned and watched her grind her core onto his erection, both still in underwear. "Fuck, that feels good." He watched her rid herself of her bra, taking her breasts in her hands as the most sensitive part of her body moved over his.

She groaned as she massaged her own breasts, feeling herself getting closer and closer to orgasm. "Ed," she gasped and fell forward, her hands on his chest, continuing to move. "I'm so close baby," she whined, feeling his hands move to her ass, squeezing and helping her move faster against him.

He thrust up in rhythm with her feeling her movements become erratic. "That's it, come for me, baby," he whispered and pulled her into a kiss, swallowing her moans as her orgasm took over. It wasn't long before he felt his own release. They brought each other down and she collapsed on top of him, trying to catch her breath.

Olivia smiled, and rolled off of him, taking her panties off and discarding them. "Useless scrap of fabric now," she chuckled and laid down next to him. "That was… incredible," she kissed him softly.

Ed kissed her back and ran his fingers over her back. "I could watch you orgasm all day long," He whispered.

She blushed and buried her head in his neck. "It always baffled me when various men I've been with have told me, or still tell me, they like watching me orgasm. I don't feel like I look any better, probably worse, actually."

He caressed her face. "Well, now, knowing I'm the only one to ever see that again is an added bonus, but when you're in the throws of orgasm, you lose all inhibition, and pure ecstasy is written all over your face, and it's fucking sexy."

Olivia smiled. "I've never watched myself, so I'll have to take your word for it," she shrugged and kissed him again.

Ed kissed her back then looked at her. "You've never looked in the mirror while you touch yourself, or while someone's inside you."

She shrugged and shook her head. "You know how I am while I'm having sex… I never really think about where the closest mirror is."

He kissed her forehead and let her head rest against him. "We'll have to fix that one day," he whispered and ran his fingers over her arm.

Olivia smiled and closed her eyes. "I'd do anything for you, with you. I trust you."

Ed brushed her hair back and kissed her forehead. "We'll have to go up to that cabin I was talking about, just the two of us, then you don't have to worry about who hears, you can be totally uninhibited, as loud as you want. And you have to watch yourself come at least once."

She smiled. "Well, I'd need to watch at least twice. Once while I'm making myself come, and another while you're making me come. Maybe more. Once while you're making love to me and once while you're fucking me senseless," she giggled and kissed him passionately.

He groaned and kissed her back. "You know that whether I'm fucking you senseless or not, that I'm still making love to you right?"

Olivia smiled and looked at him. "I know," she whispered and looked into his eyes. "I didn't know how else to say what I was trying to say."

Ed kissed her lips gently. "I just want to make sure," he smirked and caressed her face. "Speaking of fucking," he ran his fingers lightly over her hips, slightly bruised from his fingers earlier that morning. "Did I hurt you?"

She looked at his fingers and smiled. "Not even a little bit." She caressed his face. "I loved every minute of it." She shrugged. "I'm not worried about a couple of bruises."

He hung his head. "I didn't realize I was holding you so tightly." He pulled her in for a hug. "I never want to hurt you, ever. I'm sorry."

Olivia put her fingers under his chin. "Baby, you didn't hurt me. Those marks, they don't hurt, I enjoyed this morning. If you hurt me I'll tell you, okay? Ask you to lighten your grip, whatever I have to do. But you didn't hurt me, you've never hurt me, I don't want you thinking you have, I don't want you thinking I'm being quiet because I'm afraid." She smiled. "Have you met me? If you were hurting me on purpose, do you think I'd be wearing this ring on my finger? But you didn't hurt me, even on accident you didn't hurt me."

Ed kissed her forehead. "Okay," he held her and closed his eyes. He loved the woman in his arms more than anything, and the thought of hurting her broke his heart. "I love you, Olivia Margaret Benson."

She smiled and kissed him softly. "I love you, too, Ed Tucker." She nuzzled his neck. "And I'll tell you something, I didn't even notice the marks until you pointed them out." She kissed his neck and moved to his ear. "Why don't we take a bath? I'll get us some bourbon and we can just stretch out and relax in the bath, trailing kisses, teasing each other," she grinned.

He looked down at her and smiled. "I'll start the bath."

Olivia smirked and kissed him again, more passionately, before she climbed out of bed, wrapping herself in her robe, quietly rushing out to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of bourbon and two glasses, carrying the items back into the bedroom, and into the en-suite bathroom, a smile on her face. "Ready to relax?"

Ed smiled when he saw her, taking the bourbon and the glasses he put them on the counter and turned to see her let the robe slowly fall off her body. "Come over here." He pulled her to him and kissed her passionately. He felt her push his boxers down and he smirked.

She broke the kiss and bit her bottom lip. "Mm, get in the tub, I'll pour drinks." She squeezed his ass and poured them each a glass of bourbon, handing him his glass once he sat down, bringing the bottle and her glass over, setting the bottle on the floor, and sitting across from Ed, clinking their glasses together. "To us," she smiled and took a sip.

He couldn't take his eyes off of her. Once they'd finished taking their sips, he moved closer to her and kissed her passionately again. He broke the kiss and smirked. "I can't believe how fucking sexy you are."

Olivia blushed. "Flattery will get you everywhere, Captain," she smiled and kissed him again, feeling him pull her closer. She moaned and pressed her body against his, her lower body slowly grinding into his so they didn't splash water all over the floor. She broke the kiss when air became necessary and looked deep into his eyes. "This is going to be fun," she gently pushed him back and crawled over him, taking a swig of the rich amber liquid in her glass and kissing him passionately. "Mm," she straddled him in the water. "I don't know what tastes better, you or the bourbon."

Ed held her hips as he looked at her lips. "I don't know, but you and bourbon are my favorite combination." His hands ran up her back and around to her breasts to massage them. He heard her breathy moans and smirked. "Music to my ears."

She smirked. "The real question is do we keep drinking and see where the night takes us, or do we stop now and move to the bed and spend our night doing things that make the other see stars?"

He ran his fingers over her sides. "Whatever you want. I only want to have drunk sex if you do."

Olivia smiled. "I wouldn't be opposed to it, because I know if I told you to stop, you'd stop. No matter how drunk you were."

Ed smiled. "Very true," he kissed her neck. "We can always try. It's not like we need liquid courage to have sex with each other. It might be fun."

She rested her head against his. "It's always fun with you," she smiled. "Let's drink," she smirked and kissed him passionately. "It's been forever since we've done this." She poured more bourbon. "And the last time we did we were drinking out of spite and angry fucking." She giggled and saw him finish his glass so she could pour him more. "Let's just have fun this time."

He grinned and wrapped his arm around his waist. "Fun is good." They kept teasing each other and drinking until they couldn't keep their hands off of each other, their glasses on the ledge of the tub, empty, as she wrapped herself around him. He bit her shoulder and she moaned and giggled. He kissed her and ran his hands over her body, hearing her moan.

Olivia broke the kiss and kissed down his neck. "Mm, I want you baby," she smiled and ran her hands over her torso. "I'm so wet," she whined in his ear. "And you're the only one who can help me. You're the only one who knows how to fuck me the way I like."

Ed loved hearing her talk when she was aroused. "You want me to fuck you?" He asked, his fingers gently rubbing her clit. He heard her gasp and he smirked. "That's it."

She leaned forward and kissed him, her lower body grinding into his hand. "Oh, baby," she whispered and bit her bottom lip. "I have an idea. Let's get out of the tub and head back into the bedroom." She had a playful glint in her eye as she crawled off of him, standing up, letting him climb out first and holding onto him for support, drying off with the towel he handed her. "Lay on the bed," she whispered and stroked him gently.

He groaned but did as she said, watching her walk over and crawl into bed next to him. "Tell me what you want, baby," He whispered and kissed her.

Olivia kissed him back and grinned. "I want you to watch," she whispered. And leaned over and kissed him. "But should I use my fingers or a toy?" She reached into her nightstand and pulled out a small vibrator. "How bout this?" She turned it on and ran it over his chest. "I want you to watch, then I want you to fuck me," she grinned. "This feels so good." She ran it over her nipples, a grin on her face, her head falling back, trailing it over her body to her clit, the fingers of her other hand penetrating her core. "Oh, fuck yeah," She arched her back.

Ed watched her and groaned. "Fuck, that's so sexy."

She turned her head and opened her eyes to look at him. "Don't touch yourself, it won't be long," she gasped. "Fuck," started writhing on the bed, the pleasure building, "Oh, God," she pushed a button, making the vibrations stronger. "Oh, Ed, baby," she moaned, quietly. "I'm gonna come. Mm," she let her orgasm take over, her body jerking. She turned off her vibrator and looked at him. "Come get me baby," she whispered.

In an instant he took her hand away from her and pinned both her hands over her head. He kissed her passionately, swallowing her moans and he pushing his rock hard dick inside of her. He broke the kiss. "God that was so fucking hot," he kissed her neck and started thrusting hard and fast inside her.

Olivia arched her back off the bed, needing to touch him. "Ed," she pulled her hands free, scratching his back. "Oh fuck, just like that baby." She whispered. "I'm gonna come again, come with me," she begged, wrapping her legs around him.

Ed panted. "Fuck, baby," he kissed her and held her hips, feeling her body moving erratically. "That's it baby, come for me," He whispered, feeling her muscles tighten around him, stopping his thrusts. Within moments he released inside her. "Oh my God, Liv,"

She let out a breath and held him close. "Oh God, that was amazing." She giggled and closed her eyes. "So much better than angry fucking." She laughed.

He tried to catch his breath. "Something to be said for a good angry fuck, but that? Holy shit, baby." He nuzzled her neck. "Watching you, I could have come just from that," he whispered.

Olivia smiled, her body starting to relax, her breathing returning to normal. "You can watch me whenever you want baby. I'm all yours."

Ed kissed her and rolled off of her, and held her as she cuddled into him. "You are incredible, you know that?"

She chuckled. "You've said that a time or two." She rested her head on his chest. "Tomorrow is my last day off, I go back on Monday," she whispered and ran her fingers over his chest. "Thank you for making this an amazing weekend."

He kissed her forehead. "We have a lifetime of amazing weekends ahead of us."

Olivia smiled. "I can't wait," she whispered and kissed him softly.

 **A/N: so I still can't tell you my news, because it hasn't officially launched yet, but give me a follow on Twitter (couricshargitay) and leave a review there (or here) to stay up to date, because all links will be posted there!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	11. Dream a Little Dream

**I know I just updated yesterday, but when the writing bug bites, and creativity strikes, you can't help it! This one is definitely smuttier, but also has some important fluff! Enjoy!**

Olivia was on her hands and knees, looking over her shoulder. "Fuck me good, baby."

Ed was behind her, pistoning in and out of her, spanking her and pulling her hair. "You like that? Hmm?"

She arched her back, moaning loudly. "Yeah baby. Fuck my pussy harder. I've been so naughty, I need to be punished," she felt him pull her up to her knees, pulling her hair moving his hands around to the front of her body, one hand pinching her nipples, the other rubbing her clit. Her head rested against his shoulder. "Fuck," she inhaled sharply through her teeth. "Yeah, just like that."

He moved harder inside her, before pulling out, and laying back. "Come here," he pulled her back so she was sitting on his face, starting to lick up her slit, sucking her clit.

Olivia moaned and leaned forward and took him in her mouth. "Mm," She let him go with a pop, stroking him as she looked back, grinding into his face. "God, Ed," she whispered, feeling him push his fingers inside of her. She took him back in her mouth and let out a whiney moan.

Ed groaned and stopped for a minute, watching the lower half of her body react as she moved over him with her mouth, it was beyond erotic. "Shit, Liv," he kissed her inner thighs. "Ah, Yeah, just like that." His breath was heavy, panting. "Oh, God I'm gonna come," He thrusted up into her face.

"Come on baby," she mumbled, arching her back. "Mm," She writhed next to Ed as she slept, she panted and her hips thrusted forward.

He looked down at her and smirked, hearing his name fall from her lips, once her hips slowed, he leaned down and kissed her, slipping her tongue past her lips, pulling her out of her dream like state. "Good dream?"

Olivia looked at him, confused. The dream she'd had felt so real. "Dream?" She looked at him. "You sure we didn't just have sex?"

Ed chuckled. "About three hours ago." He brushed her hair back. "But it sure as hell sounded like an incredible dream." He smirked. "Was I any good?"

She rolled her eyes. "Considering I feel like we just got done, I'm going to say yes. You had me screaming, baby." She grinned and kissed him again, wrapping her leg around him.

He kissed her back, deepening it, rolling her onto her back. "Mm, we'll have to recreate it," he smirked.

Olivia chuckled. "Maybe in that cabin," she whispered and looked up into his eyes. "Only problem is now I'm too horny to get back to sleep."

Ed kissed her neck. "No problem we can't fix together." He kissed down her body, stopping between her thighs. "No problem I wouldn't be happy to help you fix."

She gasped when she felt his lips wrap around her clit. "Mm," she gripped the back of his head. "Oh, Ed," she arched her back, spreading her legs for him.

He pushed two fingers inside her, slowly starting to move them. "Oh, you're so wet, Liv." He ran his tongue over her clit, looking up at her. "Talk to me, tell me what you want."

Olivia was in such ecstasy all she could say was "More. Harder," her eyes growing wide and rolling back as he added a third finger, moving them harder inside her. "Oh!" She arched her back and let her hips move into him. Her mouth fell open in a silent scream as he continued to fuck her with his fingers and his mouth.

Ed smiled. "Yeah, baby. Feel all of this. Come for me." He gently blew on her clit, hearing a low, guttural moan fall from her lips.

One of her hands in a fist rested on her forehead as she held on as long as she could, but it was futile. She fell over the edge into glorious orgasm, whimpering and letting out soft moans as pleasure consumed her body. He brought her down and she pulled him up when the sensations became too much for her sensitive clit. She kissed him passionately. "I love how you do that."

"Do what?" He asked with a smirk. "Say it," he whispered.

Olivia smirked. "I love how you eat my pussy, licking and sucking my clit, fucking me with your fingers."

Ed let out a groan. "I love what you do with your mouth."

She laughed. "Oh come on, I get all dirty with you and that's all you give me?"

He kissed her neck. "I just want to make you beg for it."

Olivia arched her back. "Tell me, baby. I want to hear you say it," she whispered and bit gently on his ear.

Ed grinned. "I love how you take my cock in your mouth, all the way and suck it, using your hands to stroke it."

She grinned. "I could listen to you talk dirty all day long." She grabbed his ass. "I love when you say cock." She ran her hands over his chest. "But, I don't think I've ever heard you say pussy."

He kissed her neck, and her jaw. "Pussy," he smirked. "You mean like how I love how your pussy feels around my cock?"

Olivia smirked. "Yeah, like that," she kissed him passionately and pushed her hips up against his. She ran her hands down his chest and took his erection in her hand. "So hard," she giggled. "Should I help you with that?"

Ed groaned and rocked his hips into her hand. "However you want to help."

She kissed him. "You tell me how," she whispered, still stroking him. "However you want."

He took her hand in his and kissed her passionately. "Let me make love to you," He whispered.

Olivia smiled and nodded. "Yeah," she felt him push into her and she let out a soft moan. "Oh, Ed."

Ed controlled himself, he ensured that each thrust was purposeful and each kiss was full of love. "I love you, Liv." He whispered, kissing her neck.

She arched her back, her hips falling into rhythm with his. "I love you, too, Ed. So much."

They made love for an hour, and when they were both finished Olivia was so overcome with emotion she cried, curling into Ed's chest. "Liv, honey what's wrong?"

Olivia shook her head. "Nothing, just… that just left me so emotional. I'm okay." She wiped her eyes. "I promise."

Ed kissed her softly. "As long as that's all it is."

She caressed his face. "I just love you so much," she smiled. "I can't wait to be your wife." She smiled and she looked into his eyes. "I didn't mean to worry you, the tears they just… came out."

He wiped her eyes with his thumbs. "As long as I'm not hurting you, I'll hold you when you cry, wipe away your tears, but I never want you to be crying because I hurt you." He kissed her forehead. "You mean the world to me. I'd do anything for you."

Olivia smiled and nuzzled into him, wrapped in his arms. "I know you'd never hurt me. And I've never felt safer than I do when I'm in your arms. You make the bad thoughts, the bad memories go away, because I know with you… I'm as safe as I'll ever be." She kissed his chest. "When I'm with you, sleeping or awake, my demons, they're there, but they're quiet. I know I did a lot of the work for that to have happened, but even after all that, there are times when they sneak back up on me. But when I'm around you, I feel… like nothing bad could ever happen, and that the bad stuff that happened, Lewis, Utley, my mom… they're all a distant memory."

Ed held her. "I would give my life to protect you. And Noah. The two of you are my world, I never thought I could love a woman as much as I love you, and I never thought I could love a child as much as I love Noah. The two of you are my family." He kissed her forehead. "You deserve the world and Olivia Margaret Benson, I intend to give it to you."

She smiled. "You give it to me everyday, and every night. You give me love. Love that, I'm learning from you, I do deserve."

He held her close. "It breaks my heart when I hear you talk about thinking you don't deserve love, true love, because I look at you and I can't fathom not loving you."

Olivia kissed him softly. "You are teaching me that I'm worthy and deserving of all the love in the world. Before you, I had men teach me that I could be loved, that I was more than just sex. But I never felt deserving of it. Despite their best efforts, in the end, they always showed me otherwise, they always showed me I was more trouble than I was worth and that I was really only good for a good time, even if their mouths said I love you, their actions didn't show it. And then I fell in love with you, and even though we have a lot of sex," she giggled and caressed his face. "You never make me feel like that's all I'm good for in your eyes." She kissed him softly. "Not to mention it's mind blowing."

Ed kissed her and just held her. "I'm glad I can show you how deserving you are, and I'm glad you believe me," He whispered. "And the sex, as mind blowing as it is, is a plus. If you were to tell me you never wanted to have sex again, I'd be okay with that, because you mean so much more to me than sex."

She smiled. "That won't happen, I promise. But, knowing that, makes me feel… loved, beautiful, seen, heard." She kissed him again softly. "You truly are the man of my dreams," she whispered against his lips. "And I am never letting you go again," she smiled.

He kissed her and tucked a loose tendril of hair behind her ear. "I'm not going anywhere without you." He ran his fingers along her back. "Try to get some more sleep," he whispered. "I'll hold you," He kissed her forehead.

Olivia smiled and settled against his chest, hearing his heartbeat. "Goodnight, Ed. I love you." She let the steady beat of his heart lull her into a peaceful sleep.

Ed stroked her hair. "I love you, too," he whispered. Once her breathing evened out and he was sure she was asleep, he closed his eyes and fell into a peaceful sleep himself.

The next morning, she woke up and opened her eyes, seeing Ed's face. He was still asleep, and he looked so peaceful. She smiled and gently pressed her lips to his forehead, gently climbing out of bed and wrapping herself in her robe, walking out to the kitchen, making herself a cup of coffee and watching the sun rise. She rested against the wall next to the window and smiled. She took a deep breath and took a sip of her coffee. She felt arms circle around her and she smiled. "Mm, morning," she looked over her shoulder and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "Sleep well?" She asked, turning in his arms after she put her mug down on the window sill.

He held her hips and smiled. "Like a baby," He caressed her face and kissed her slowly. He held the kiss for a few moments before he pulled away. "I wanted to give you a proper good morning kiss," he whispered and rested his forehead against hers.

Olivia smiled. "I'll never complain about kissing you." She bit her bottom lip. "Coffee?" She asked looking into his eyes.

Ed smirked, "I'm going to go for water right now. I think I had a bit too much bourbon last night," he whispered and moved into the kitchen, hearing her behind him.

She ran her hands over his shoulders. "Poor baby, are you hungover?" She asked with a small giggle.

He opened the bottle of water and took a swig. "A little. You're not?"

Olivia shook her head. "I paced myself. I think you actually finished my last glass," she kissed his forehead. "I'm sorry, my love."

Ed shrugged. "Not the first hangover I've had. Won't be the last. Just glad I don't have to go into work, and that even if I was still working, that I'm not at IAB. Dealing with dirty cops while hungover isn't fun. I get ornery."

She chuckled. "How many times were you hungover when you interviewed me?"

He smirked. "You sayin' I was ornery?" He asked playfully.

Olivia thought. "First few times I called you the rat squad… a little ornery, but after that? You were just a pain in my ass." She chuckled and hopped up on the counter.

Ed stood between her legs, wrapping them around his waist. "Am I still a pain in your ass?"

She leaned down and kissed him. "Nah, now you're just dreamy." She caressed his face. "And I love you, madly."

He grinned and kissed the exposed skin of her chest. "I love you, too."

Olivia bit her bottom lip. "Can I ask you something?" She asked him gently, suddenly nervous.

Ed sensed this and ran his hands over her thighs. "Anything, Liv." He tried to soothe her nerves as best he could.

She took a deep breath. "I— I don't want you to think that I'm not happy with the way our family is now," she said quickly. "I just… have you ever thought about having a baby?" She paused for a minute. "With me?"

He looked up at her. "Olivia, I—"

Olivia hopped down and walked away. "It was stupid, you don't have to answer." She crossed her arms in front of her.

Ed followed her and rested his hands on her shoulder. "Let me finish?" He saw her turn and what he saw broke his heart, tears were silently streaming down her face. "Baby," He whispered and wiped her eyes.

She smiled and shook her head. "I love Noah, I love our little family," she looked at the floor. "But I've always wanted to carry a child, and it seems counterintuitive that the one time I was pregnant I had an abortion. I wasn't ready, and my back was against the wall. But I have always wanted to carry a child in my womb. I never thought I'd find the right man to father my child. But I did… in you," Her lip trembled. "I wouldn't trade Noah for anything, but I'd also like to have your baby." She shrugged. "I've been thinking about it, how it might be nice to give Noah a little brother or sister, he'll always have someone to play with," she swallowed hard. "Like I said, you don't have to answer."

He caressed her face and ran his thumb over her lips, feeling her kiss the pad of the digit. "Olivia," he whispered and kissed her forehead. "I would love to have you be the mother of my child. And if that's what you want, we'll figure out how to make it happen."

Olivia smiled. "Let's be honest, the only thing going on in my uterus is tumbleweeds." She chuckled. "The amount of sex we have, no condom…" she sighed. "I know it can take a while, but the first time was so easy."

Ed kissed her cheek. "We'll make it happen. Even if we need a little help from science." He wrapped his arms around her. "And it was easy the first time because—"

"Watch it, Ed." She playfully warned, knowing where he was going, but he was right, she was twenty plus years younger.

"Because you weren't thinking about it as much," he whispered.

Olivia smiled. "Nice save." She rested her head on his shoulder. "This is something you really want? Not just because I want it?"

Ed wrapped her in his arms. "I want to see a little baby running around, a mix of you and me," He whispered.

Noah came out of his room, rubbing his eyes. "Morning mommy, morning daddy," he mumbled.

She smiled. "We'll finish this later," she whispered and kissed his cheek, turning around to pick Noah up. "Good morning, sleepy head!" She kissed his temple. "How did you sleep?"

He rested his head on her shoulder. "Good." He hugged her.

Olivia kissed the top of his head. "What do you want for breakfast?"

Noah looked at his mother. "Pancakes."

She grinned. "I bet if you go ask daddy really nicely he'll make pancakes for breakfast." She set Noah down and watched him run over to Ed.

Ed picked him up and held him on his hip. "What's up, bud?"

Noah hugged him. "Daddy, could you please make pancakes for breakfast?" He asked with a smile.

The older man hugged the young boy. His son. "You got it," he kissed the top of his head. "Why don't you go ask mommy to put on the TV while I cook up a batch.

Olivia smiled and turned on cartoons for Noah and watched as he sat on the couch. She walked over to Ed and kissed his shoulders. "You're such a good Dad," she whispered and turned him around, kissing him gently. "I love that he calls you Daddy," she smiled and wrapped her arms around him.

Ed smiled proudly. "I do, too." He kissed her again. "Just don't—"

She cut him off. "Don't worry, I will never call you daddy. Unless I'm telling Noah to ask you something, but other than that… not a chance." She chuckled. "I'll stick to Captain," she smirked and kissed him again.

He swayed them gently. "Okay, Lieutenant." He kissed her more passionately, pushing her against the counter, after a few moments he broke the kiss, they both smiled as they tried to catch their breath. "I should make our son breakfast," he whispered.

Olivia smiled. "Noah has a play date today that Lucy is bringing him to. We'll have the apartment to ourselves for a couple hours." She bit her bottom lip, "Where we don't have to worry about noise."

Ed smirked and grabbed her ass. "What about the neighbors?"

She shrugged. "Let them complain, I don't think I've gotten a noise complaint for sex noises in this apartment. Usually just blood curdling screams in the middle of the night." She looked at Ed and bit her bottom lip. "Nightmares," she looked at the floor. "I'm sure they'll be glad I don't sound like I'm being murdered," she kissed him gently. "Maybe we can recreate my dream?" She raised an eyebrow. "Hmm? Think about it."

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it! Leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay)! Until next chapter.**


	12. Learning Curves

**So this is a little AU, but I'm hella sex and pleasure positive so this is how I picture Olivia. That's why it's fanfiction. If everything was cannon we literally wouldn't have fanfiction. I did my best to keep it close (ish) to cannon.**

Olivia closed the door behind Noah and Lucy and walked into the kitchen, starting to clean up from breakfast. She saw Ed and she smiled. "Hey, Lucy has Noah until after dinner, I—" he cut her off with a kiss.

Ed wrapped his arms around her as he kissed her, his tongue slipping past her lips. Be broke the kiss and smiled. "Dishes can wait," he whispered. "I want to kiss you now."

She looked at his lips and nodded. "Me too. And so much more," she smiled and wrapped her arms around him. "Start on the couch? It's been a while since we've sat down and just… kissed," she bit her bottom lip. "It'd be nice."

He let her lead him to the couch and sat down next to her. He caressed her face and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "You're so beautiful," he whispered and leaned in and kissed her softly.

Olivia let out a moan at the contact, resting her hand on his cheek, moving closer to him. As close as she could be without being in his lap or straddling him. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and smiled as she felt their tongues massaging one another. Her free hand gripped his shirt, keeping him close, only breaking the kiss when she needed air. "I forgot how much just kissing you, no sex, makes me feel special, I want to blush," she bit her bottom lip. "I love kissing you." She chuckled and looked into his eyes.

Ed kissed her softly. "You are the most special woman in the world, Liv. Never forget that," he whispered, leaning forward and kissing her again, more passionately this time, not looking to escalate, but needing to put every feeling for Olivia he had into the kiss. Lips, tongues, and teeth meshed as they continued kissing.

She needed to be closer, she lay back and pulled him on top of her, letting out a breathy moan as he kissed her neck. "Oh, Ed," she smiled and pulled him to her lips and kissed him again, scratching the nape of his neck.

He held himself up in one arm, his other hand ran over her lower torso, over her shirt. He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers. "Jesus," He panted and looked into her eyes.

Olivia smiled. "I'm a far cry, more Mary Magdalene." She caressed his face. "I love you, Ed Tucker, and as many times as you tell me, I will never know, never understand what I did to deserve a man as truly incredible as you are. A man who loves me with every fiber of his being. But here you are, and I swear, I swear every single day I'm dreaming." She smiled and adjusted underneath him so she was more comfortable.

Ed caressed her face. "I am the one who doesn't deserve you, Olivia. I don't know, when you can have anyone in the world, why you chose me. But I thank God you did." He looked into her eyes. "You gave me reason to love again, to trust."

She pushed up on him, straddling him once he was sitting up. "Look at me, I chose you, because you put me first, because you showed me what love is. Because you see more than a good time, you see a woman you want to spend your life with, grow old with, raise a family with. Ed, all the other guys may want me, but they want my body, they don't want my heart. That's something unique to you," she smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "Kiss me," she whispered. "And don't ever stop loving me," she rested her forehead against his.

He held her, running his thumb over her lips. "Never," he whispered, pulling her in for a kiss, one hand on the back of her neck and head, the other in the middle of her back. His tongue moved over her lips, and passed them when she opened her mouth to him. They went on kissing, stopping only for air, then finding each other's lips again for what seemed like forever, but by the time they pulled away the last time, panting, only about an hour had passed.

Olivia smiled. "That was…" she closed her eyes. "Mm," she opened her eyes and looked into his, biting her bottom lip, her heart pounding in her chest. "Kissing you," she whispered, "I could do it all day long. Sex is wonderful, Ed. It feels incredible, specifically with you, but kissing, just kissing, no grinding or touching… that's something I can't do with everyone. It's so intimate. Vulnerable."

Ed ran his hands over her thighs. "Thank you for trusting me." He kissed her neck, he heard her moan and he smirked. "I love when we don't have to worry about noise." He ran his finger under the hem of her shirt. "Don't get me wrong, your quiet little moans are so sexy, but getting to hear you as loud as you want to be, no reservations, that's beyond sexy," he whispered.

She smirked. "How about we head to the bedroom and recreate my dream from last night?" She stood up and pulled him up, leading him to the bedroom, closing the door and running her hands over his chest. "Get naked, lay on the bed,"'she whispered. "I'm going to slip into something a little more… alluring."

He pulled her close and held her hips. "You're alluring in everything you wear. And when you wear nothing…" he bit gently on her neck, sucking gently.

Olivia closed her eyes. "Mm," she moaned and giggled. "Regardless, I have something I think you'll like to rip off of me." She grinned and walked into the closet, changing into a white lace bodysuit that was crotchless and cupless, exposing her breasts from behind the light blue fabric on top. The bottom edge matched the top, the light blue fabric, she pulled on white thigh highs and hooked the straps of the garter belt to them. She slipped into sky high white heels and took a deep breath, walking back into the bedroom, resting against the door jamb, one arm over her head, bent, her other hand on her hip. She looked over at him and grinned.

Ed looked at her from the bed, his eyes wide. "I—you— wow," he was speechless, mesmerized by her. He stood up and moved slowly towards her.

She smiled and pushed off the wall and walked towards him, turning so her back was against him, swaying her hips so they would grind against him. "You like it?" She asked when she turned around, kicking off the heels. "That's better." She smiled and ran her hands over his chest, taking him in her hand stroking him. "I'll take this as a sign that you like it."

He groaned. "You're so fucking sexy," he pulled her close and kissed her passionately. They locked eyes and she walking him toward the bed. When he felt the mattress against his legs he crawled back on to it and laid down, never breaking eye contact.

Olivia crawled onto the bed, straddling him. "I love captivating you. And this? This little number we don't even have to take off. You can fuck me with it on, even suck my nipples." She grinned. "I've had it for a while. I… I got it in Paris," she looked down. "But I never knew when to wear it." She bit her bottom lip, grinding against him, not letting him penetrate her.

Ed stilled her hips. "Liv," he croaked. He took a deep breath, determined not to let himself come yet.

She grinned. "You want to know how my dream went?" She asked, leaning down and kissing his neck. She saw him nod and she smirked. "Well, you were fucking me from behind, pulling my hair, spanking me, I was begging for more, I wanted it harder. I was moaning so loud and then, you stopped, laid back and pulled me to sit on your face, so you could eat my pussy, and I could suck your cock." She grinned. "It's like I was watching everything, but could feel every sensation all at once, and at one point you stopped, and watched how my lower body reacted to me making you come with my mouth. It was so erotic," she ran her hands over his chest. "And as you know, left me soaking wet. Kind of like I am now," she took his hand and moved it to her core. Moaning, feeling his fingers push inside of her. "Ed," she whined.

He sat up, and placed a sloppy, passionate kiss on her lips. "Is that what you want, baby?" He asked running his hands over her body, over the lace. "Just like your dream?"

Olivia smirked and turned her back to him, looking over her shoulder. "Make me scream," she smiled, watching him get to his knees. Her eyes had darkened with arousal.

Ed lined himself up at her entrance. "Ready?" He saw her nod, and he thrust hard and fast into her, he heard her moan, falling forward. He kept his pace, spanking her and pulling her hair. "Oh, Liv," he whispered, reaching around to rub her clit.

She was moaning. "Oh, Ed!" She closed her eyes. "Oh, fuck me." She begged and she felt him pull out, they were both close, she helped him move her so she was sitting on his face and she took him in her mouth, moaning, grinding into his face, letting him go as she looked back, gasping. "Fuck yeah, baby," she groaned and took him back in her mouth, moving her lips over him.

He groaned, and like she'd said in her description of the dream, he stopped and watched her lower body react to what she was doing, seeing her muscles contract, and she was right, it was the most erotic thing he'd ever seen. "Oh, fuck, I'm not going to last much longer."

Olivia grinned and looked back at him. "Let go, let me taste you." She took him back into her mouth, sucking gently on the head.

Ed groaned. "Fuck!" She released into her mouth, pushing his hips up.

She smiled and swallowed it all. "Mm," she looked back at him, feeling his lips wrap around her clit, sucking. She moved her hips into his face. "Oh yeah." She sat up and arched her back. "Oh fuck, right there, oh right there," she sighed and threw her head back. "Oh, Ed! Oh, God I'm gonna come," she fell forward, resting her hands on his stomach as she rode out her orgasm, feeling Ed lick her clean. Once the sensation became too much she climbed off of him and moved so her face was near his, kissing him passionately, tasting herself on his lips. She moaned and broke the kiss. "That was…" she smiled and bit her lip. "That was so sexy."

He ran his fingers through her hair. "You are so sexy in that body suit… goddamn Liv." He looked at her. "I have never wanted to come just looking at someone before." He ran his hand over her side. "Not watching, but seeing you walk out of the closet, seeing you in this, you wouldn't have had to do anything. Then having you on top of me, teasing me. I had to stop you from grinding your hips or it would have been over before it started."

Olivia grinned. "Can I tell you something?" She asked, running her hands over his chest. "Other than the fact that this is kind of itchy when you're not aroused." She giggled. She bit her bottom lip. "I got this in Paris, and I knew exactly when I was going to wear it." She looked at the bed. "I was gonna wear it when you proposed." She looked at him sheepishly. "I knew it was coming, I just didn't know when. We broke up, I just buried it in my closet." Her bottom lip trembled. "I'm sorry, I'm okay," she wiped at her eyes and took a deep breath. "I wanted the time I wore this to be special." She shrugged. "We've been having so much sex I forgot about lingerie, with you, I don't feel like I need it. You find me sexy just as I am. But then I remembered I had this, and thought that it might be nice to have a little fun with it, since we've already celebrated our engagement," she smiled and kissed him.

Ed kissed her and rested his forehead against hers. "You are breathtaking in it. You fulfilled a fantasy I never even knew I had." He ran his hand over her lace covered body. "Definitely hang onto this." He slapped her ass and she moaned.

She giggled and kissed him. "Help me out of it?" She asked with a smirk. She rolled onto her other side and he unhooked the bra.

He rolled her onto her back, lifting her leg and undoing the clasps holding her thigh highs up, kissing down her leg as he took the nylon off her, repeating the process with the other. He helped her stand up and helped her pull the lace off her body.

Olivia stepped out of the body suit and closed her eyes, feeling his lips on her back. "Thank you," she whispered. Looking back at him.

Ed stood behind her. "Lay down, on your stomach, I'll give you a massage." He kissed the back of her head.

She smiled and climbed into bed, laying on her stomach, her arms curled underneath her head. "That sounds so good right now."

He went and grabbed some lotion before climbing on top of her, straddling her ass, squirting some lotion into his hands, rubbing them together, warming the lotion up before starting to rub her shoulders, working out the knots. "Pressure okay?"

Olivia closed her eyes and moaned. "Perfect," She droned, letting his hands continue to work out the knots in her muscles. "Oh, baby, that feels so good," she let out a breath.

Ed smirked and moved down her back, kissing the back of her neck. "Just relax, baby," he whispered and kissed down her spine.

She smiled and let out a groan. "Is this an erotic massage, Captain?" She asked with a smirk.

He ran his hands over the length of her back. "Can be," He whispered and kissed her neck. "If you want it to be," he whispered running his hands down her legs.

Olivia moaned. "You're going to be the death of me." She smirked and rolled over, sitting up and kissed him passionately.

Ed ran his hands over her torso, massaging her breasts. "I love you, baby," he whispered and held her tight to his body. "I can't keep my hands off you," he whispered and ran his hands over her legs. "Every inch of you turns me on."

She pulled him close and kissed him, biting his lip. "Mm," she giggled. "Show me," She unwrapped herself from him and stood up. "But somewhere other than the bedroom."

He grinned. "I'd propose the living room by the window, but I'm not sure how you'd feel about that."

Olivia smiled. "I'd feel guilty subjecting Manhattan to my bare ass pressed against the window," she chuckled.

Ed lifted her face. "Your ass is sexy," he whispered and grabbed her ass. "Your ass is perfect," he slapped her ass and heard her groan.

She kissed his lips. "You think so, and that's all that matters, but I'd be so self conscious walking down the street after that." She turned in his arms and saw the full length mirror then looked at Ed. "How about the floor?"

He looked at the mirror. "Oh, you want to watch yourself, hmm?"

Olivia grinned. "I have to see what all the hype about how I look when I orgasm is all about."

Ed smirked. "You want me to help you out right now, or you want me to watch you watching yourself?"

She laughed. "That was confusing," she chuckled and bit her bottom lip. "How about you pick out of the drawer, I'll play so you can watch and I can watch myself come?"

He opened the drawer and looked at the various toys. "Liv, I don't—"

Olivia got up and looked in the drawer with him. "I forgot I had most of this stuff," she kissed his cheek. "I needed a little help sometimes. But there's also stuff in here from before we were even together the first time." She pulled out a strap on, with a vibrator on the harness. She giggled. "Ah yes, I had a boyfriend who was into pegging."

Ed looked at her. "And pegging is?"

She chuckled. "Anal sex where the woman penetrates the man." She shrugged. "Stimulates the prostate, guy loved it, made me feel powerful being the penetrative partner." She kissed his lips gently.

He looked at her. "Interesting."

Olivia put it back in her drawer. "People take me for a prude," she kissed him gently. "I'm more adventurous than people think. Granted, some things I used to be into I'm not anymore, but I still like a lot of things no one would have, uh, pegged me as liking." She chuckled. "No pun intended." She wrapped her arms around him. "The question, is do you want me to be tame, or do you want me to get wild?"

Ed looked down at her, seeing she was serious. "What does wild entail?"

She chuckled. "I could put on a tail if you want me to," she ran her hands over his chest. "We don't have to do this if it makes you uncomfortable." She said. "I'll get rid of all of this if you want me to, Ed. I don't need it."

He looked down at her. "Liv, I don't mind this stuff, I don't mind if you use it, we can experiment together," he kissed the top of her head. "I just… I uh, I didn't realize there were so many different options for sex toys."

Olivia smiled. "Pick one, I'll tell you what it does." She smiled and nodded. He saw her pick up a rabbit and she took it. "This is a rabbit vibrator. This part," she said, touching the shaft, "goes inside of me, hits the g spot, rotates, and the little beads move around and give off an incredible sensation, and these little rabbit ears, rest on my clit and, as the description says, tease and tickle it. I like this one in the bathtub, but," she paused and pulled out the triple pleasure rabbit. "This I prefer to use in bed," she bit her bottom lip. "These two parts are the same, this," she said pointing to the thinner, longer piece in the back. "Goes in my ass. The orgasm this gives me is unreal," she giggled and kissed him gently.

Ed picked up a black bag. "What's in here?" He asked with a smile.

She smirked. "Ben wa balls," she chuckled. "They're one and a quarter inch glass balls, I put them inside me and I squeeze my muscles to keep them there, walk around," she took a deep breath. "So good. When I'm done, I just… push them out," she smiled. "Kegels on steroids." She chuckled. "What else do you want to know?"

He pulled out what he thought was a flashlight. "In case the power goes out?"

Olivia took it and removed the cap, revealing what looked like a vagina. "For when I don't need much stimulation." She shrugged. "A little lube on here, rub the quote unquote clit on mine, and I'm moaning like crazy. Typically a men's toy," she pushed her fingers inside it, "but it feels good on my clit." She shrugged. "And uh, before you ask, I've never had sex with a woman, and have no intentions to have sex with a woman. Made out with a friend in college, what college girl hasn't? The sensation just feels good, and I have to be really really horny in order to use it."

Ed smirked. "A men's sex toy, huh? I thought those were limited to cock rings."

She giggled. "Have a couple of those too, one that vibrates." She grinned. "Ed, like I said, with you… I don't need this stuff anymore. Say the word and it's gone." She smirked. "There is one I want to show you though," she bit her bottom lip and pulled out her hitachi. "Oldie but a goodie. Hitachi massager. I'm limited as to where I can go with it, since I have to be plugged into a wall, but the vibrations…" she moaned. "Mm, they're so strong I can make myself come over and over and over in just a few minutes." She kissed the vibrating head and chuckled. "All of these, you can watch me, you can use them on me," she sat on the bed. "Whatever you want. These toys, they're silicone, a motor and a battery. You are the man I love. Whatever you want, Ed," she nodded. "I needed a little help during the times i was single, after us… I'd orgasm and call out your name, but these don't compare to you." She stood up and wrapped her arms around him. "I don't want you to say it's okay to have these if you're not okay with it." She looked into his eyes.

He caressed her face. "I wouldn't mind watching you use some of these, still hearing you scream my name. I wouldn't mind using them on you. But uh, can we get rid of the strap on thing."

Olivia laughed and kissed him. "You got it, baby," she looked at him. "On garbage day. I don't want Noah seeing it." She blushed. She bit her bottom lips. "So, which do you want to see me use first?" She asked with a mischievous grin on her face.

 **A/N: Aaaaaaaand... SCENE. Alright, leave a review and I'll be back soon with another chapter. Reviews here or on Twitter would be nice (couricshargitay).**


	13. No Mistakes

**Soooooo, this chapter took an unexpected turn. Unplanned but it happened, and we're gonna play it out. K. Enjoy.**

Olivia lay on her back, the mirror to the side, moaning as she moved the toy in and out of her body fast and hard. "Ed! Baby," she arched her back.

Ed was watching her thrust the triple pleasure rabbit inside herself, stroking himself. "Ah, fuck!" He couldn't take his eyes off of her.

She gasped. "Oh, yeah. Mm." She looked back at Ed. "Stroke that cock, baby. Stroke it while I fuck my pussy." She looked in the mirror, feeling herself getting close to orgasm, her hips grinding into the toy. "Oh, baby, I'm gonna come, oh my God." She let her mouth fall open as she watched herself in the mirror, turning her head from the mirror as her orgasm started to take over her body.

He watched, groaning at the sight of her. He saw her finish and he moved from the chair, next to her, taking the toy out of her and turning it off, leaning in and kissing her passionately. He broke the kiss and rolled on his back, still stroking himself. "You're so sexy."

Olivia grinned and rolled into him wrapping her hand around him, kissing him and slowly stroking him. She moaned gently into the kiss before breaking it. "Allow me," she whispered and moved down his body, taking him into her mouth, looking up at him as she moved her mouth over him.

Ed moved her hair out of the way, groaning as he kept eye contact with her. "Ah, shit, Liv." He inhaled through his teeth. "I'm gonna come, baby."

She let him go with a pop, licking up his shaft. "Come on Ed, come for me baby." She grinned and took him back in her mouth, looking back up at him, moaning.

He groaned and closed his eyes, his release shooting into her mouth. Once he was finished he saw her move away.

Olivia swallowed his release and she kissed up his body. "So good," she whispered and kissed his neck. "I take it you liked what you saw," she giggled and looked into his eyes.

Ed brushed her hair back. "Liked it? Fuck, Liv. That was one of the sexiest things I have ever seen." He held her close and kissed her forehead then her lips. "What did you think of watching yourself?"

She smiled and shrugged. "I think it'll be better when I watch you making me come."

He ran his fingers down her spine. "We can test that theory later. Right now, I just want to hold you," he whispered and kissed her forehead and then looked down at her and slowly, deeply, kissed her lips.

Olivia rested her hand on the back of his head as she kissed him back, letting out a soft moan, and when his tongue tentatively asked for access to her mouth, she happily granted it, opening her mouth, and meeting his tongue with hers. She broke the kiss with a soft moan. "Oh, Ed." She smiled and caressed his face. "I love you," she bit her bottom lip. "So much."

Ed smiled back at her. "I love you, too," he whispered and tucked her hair behind her ear. "How about we get back on the bed, this is quite uncomfortable."

She smiled and pushed herself up to her knees, helping him up. She stood up and looked into his eyes, running her hands over his chest. She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her body against his. "You're so sexy," she whispered, feeling his hands run up her back. She looked back and gasped.

He smirked and pulled her as close as possible, kissing her neck. "Join me on the bed and we'll continue to have some fun while we have the house to ourselves."

Olivia smirked and pushed him back onto the bed, climbing on top of him. "Want me to ride you, baby?" She asked, leaning down and kissing his neck, sucking softly.

Ed groaned. "Yeah, baby," he closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her lips on his neck. He felt her lips pull away from his skin, blowing gently where her lips just were, sending a shiver down his spine.

She sat up, raising herself up on her knees, taking him in her hand, stroking him gently, sinking down on top of him, moaning as her back arched. "Mm," she bit her bottom lip. "Oh you feel so good inside me." She smiled and rested her hands on the bed, next to his head, starting to move her hips into his, her breasts lightly moving over his chest. She kissed him passionately, her hips moving into his faster and harder.

He groaned and held her hips, kissing her back, trying to keep her hips steady, he could tell she was close, her hips were moving erratically, she moaned into the kiss louder and louder before she tore her lips away, throwing her head back. He flipped them so she was on her back and slowed the pace down, he wanted them both to last. "Easy, baby," He looked deep into her eyes, his thrusts were hard, at a steady pace as he kept eye contact with her, pouring every ounce of love he could into this round of love making. "You're so beautiful," he whispered and kissed her lips slowly, mimicking his hips.

Olivia wrapped her arms around him, her hips meeting his at every thrust. She knew exactly what he was doing, going slow so they both lasted. She scratched his back, her back arching as their lips stayed locked. After what felt like hours, her orgasm started to take over, she felt him move faster and felt his release inside her, both breaking the kiss, staying close to one another, their mouths open, looking into the others eyes. "Fuck," she whispered.

Ed chuckled and nuzzled her neck. "That's one way to put it.

She laughed and looked out the window, seeing the sun was setting. "We should eat," she ran her hands over his back. "We should get dressed, first."

He kissed her again and heard her moan. He broke the kiss and smiled. "What do you want for dinner?"

Olivia pushes him up and sat up, turning to face him. "Nothing too heavy. Shockingly, despite all of the physical activity today, I'm not that hungry."

Ed took her hand. "Not getting sick on me, are you?"

"Bite your tongue, Ed Tucker!" She smiled. "I can't afford to get sick right now. Justice doesn't take a holiday."

"Maybe not, but that's why you have a sergeant now, so if you do get sick Fin can make sure the house doesn't go up in flames."

"Yes, but if I call in sick he's going to think I'm taking another day to spend in the throes of passion with my incredibly sexy fiancé," she leaned in and kissed him softly.

He kissed her back and ran his fingers through her hair. "Well, he'd be wrong. If you're sick, no sex for you, only rest," he smirked and ran his hands over her arms.

Olivia blushed. "Well, let's hope I'm not sick, because I can't get enough of you."

Ed smiled and shook his head. "Get dressed, sexy. Before what I have for dinner is between your legs."

She let her mouth fall open in fake shock. "So naughty." She rested her hand over her chest. "You'd say such things to a lady."

He smirked. "Only because I know such things drive you wild," he whispered.

Olivia smirked and pulled him in close and kissed him passionately and slowly before pulling away and getting off the bed. "You may need a cold shower," she slipped into a bra and panties, yoga pants and a gray v neck, grabbing a pink sweater that covered her ass.

Ed watched her get dressed. "You're a damn tease, you know that?"

She smiled. "I'd only be a tease if I worked you up and didn't follow through. I always follow through." She turned and walked from the bedroom to the kitchen, turning the lights on, but on a low setting.

He got dressed and joined her a few minutes later, standing behind her in the kitchen, watching her chop vegetables, holding her hips. "Whatcha makin'?"

Olivia smiled and pushed her ass back against his hips. "I'm planning on roasting these vegetables and cooking up some chicken breasts." She moaned, feeling his hand move to her breast. "Chicken breasts, love."

Ed kissed her neck. "But I like these breasts." He started to massage her breasts and gently bit her neck.

She closed her eyes, the knife slipped and she jumped. "Shit!" She broke out of his grasp and moved to the sink, running her hand under cold water. "Fuck." She turned to look at Ed. "I need stitches," she looked at the cut on her hand, the blood pouring out. Her eyes went glassy, distant.

He moved to her side and touched her shoulder, causing her to flinch. "I'm sorry. Hey, let's get you to the ER."

Olivia looked at him, her eyes coming back into focus. "Yeah, uh… Noah, can you call Lucy and have her keep him till we get back?"

Ed nodded and grabbed a towel and wrapped her hand. "Absolutely, but right now, keep pressure on that and we'll get to the ER okay?" He helped her get her shoes on, slipped into his own and grabbed their phones, ushering her out the door, keeping her hand close to her chest, wrapped in a towel.

She let him lead her to the car, she got in the passenger side and looked out the window. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She jumped when the drivers side door closed. "Sorry," she looked at Ed, concern written all over his face.

"Other than the hand, you okay?"

Olivia looked at him and took a deep breath. "Just… don't leave me alone, okay? I haven't had to deal with stitches since…"

Ed kissed her temple. "I'm right here. Always. Now let's go."

She nodded and sat back, taking deep breaths as he sped off towards the nearest ER. He pulled in and parked the car, getting out and walking in with her. He got the forms and they sat down as he started filling out the forms and she closed her eyes before they shot open, she looked around and was suddenly aware of all the people, she moved as close as she could to Ed, trying to make herself small, trying to make herself disappear.

They waited for what felt like days to Olivia before they were brought back to a bed and she took a breath, fighting tears. He stood in front of her and kissed her forehead. "Breathe. I'm right here. You're safe."

Olivia nodded, feeling a tear roll down her cheek. "That waiting room. I felt like everyone was staring at me, like they could tell I was having flashbacks."

Ed caressed her face. "You're okay. I promise you, no one was staring, and I was the only one that could tell you were having flashbacks."

She looked into his eyes. "You could tell?" She was still trying to be small.

He tucked her hair behind her ear. "I know you," he whispered. "I know you inside and out, literally." He grinned.

Olivia let out a small chuckle. "Thank you," she whispered.

The doctor came in to check Olivia's hand. "Definitely going to need stitches, and we'll get some blood work, give you a couple doses of mild painkillers and send you on your way."

Olivia nodded. "Blood work. Standard procedure?"

Doctor nodded. "Just to make sure you're not pregnant, so we know what meds we can give you."

Olivia looked at Ed. "Uh, I don't know that I would be."

Doctor shrugged. "If you're having unprotected sex it's always a possibility. Unless you're in menopause of course."

She took a deep breath. "Fine, blood test." She let the doctor take blood. "Can you stitch up my hand now so I don't bleed out?"

The resident came in to stitch Olivia's hand, giving her a shot of lidocaine to numb her hand first. Once they were done the nurse came in and handed her a Tylenol.

Olivia looked at the pill. "Tylenol?" She looked at Ed and smiled. "I'm pregnant?" She asked the nurse.

"Congratulations. Follow up with your OB/GYN, and you'll need to come back in about two weeks, to get the stitches out." The nurse walked out, leaving them alone.

Olivia looked at Ed. "A baby." She smiled. "This is…" she shook her head. "I'm speechless."

Ed moved closer to her and kissed her softly and rested his hand on her stomach. "Our baby."

She smiled and felt a tear run down her cheek, caressing his face. "I love you so much," she whispered.

He kissed her again and rested his hand on the back of her head. "My future wife and the mother of my children."

Olivia smiled. "I love Noah, so much, but being able to have your child grow in my belly, Ed, that's what I've always wanted. To have a child with the man of dreams."

Ed smiled and wrapped her in his arms. "You are so beautiful, inside and out. I wouldn't want anyone else to carry my child. This baby, and Noah… our family is complete."

She smiled. "Yeah, I didn't know I wanted another baby until now. I didn't know that I could get pregnant."

He kissed her forehead. "We'll stop and get dinner on the way home, whatever you want."

Olivia smiled and saw the nurse come in, she signed the papers and got up. "Let's go." She took his hand with her good hand and walked out with him to the car, a smile on her face.

 **A/N: the cut was unplanned— okay so was the baby. I was writing and the characters dug their heels in and the only place I could actually take it was where it went. Writers get it. Characters often do their own thing and if you don't comply... #WritersBlock**


	14. Take Care

**I'm really excited for where this is going. I love writing pregnancies, injuries, and of course babies. Kids are fun, but babies require more description. They require description of expression. They don't have any other way to communicate. Anyway... enjoy.**

Olivia and Ed walked into the apartment, seeing Lucy on the couch on her laptop. "Lucy, thank you for staying with him."

Lucy smiled. "Of course. As long as you're okay."

Olivia smiled. "Just a cut, just needed some stitches." She couldn't stop smiling.

Ed smiled and kissed the side of her head. "Can I walk you out, Lucy?"

Lucy nodded. "Thank you, Captain Tucker."

He kissed Olivia quickly and set their dinner on the counter in the kitchen before walking out with Lucy, making sure she got in a cab safely and walked back up to the apartment, locking the door behind him, walking over to Olivia and pulling her into a passionate kiss.

She kissed him back, wrapping her arms around him. She broke the kiss and smiled. "I say, once these stitches are out of my hand and I don't have it wrapped like a damn baseball mitt, we go to the courthouse and get married," she whispered and kissed him again.

He picked her up and set her on the counter. "The sooner I get to call you my wife, the better."

Olivia smiled. "I'm going to keep Benson for work, but everywhere else, I plan to be Olivia Margaret Tucker." She rested her hand on her stomach. "And this little one is going to be a Tucker, and our little boy, sleeping in his bed, is going be a Tucker. I want to keep Porter, because of Ellie. But do I hyphenate his last name?" She looked at Ed's eyes. "God, I hope our baby gets your eyes," she whispered and kissed him softly.

Ed kissed her back. "We have time to figure out Noah's last name. We have time, baby." He kissed her temple. "Now, let's get you some food. You are eating for you and our little one." He picked her up and helped her down. "I'm probably going to annoy the hell out of you by the time the baby comes, you'll probably be sick of me."

She looked at him. "Never in a million years," she whispered and smiled. "I'm going to enjoy you picking me up while you can. I'm going to be as big as a house." She looked into his eyes. "Promise you'll still find me beautiful, sexy, you'll still want me when I'm as big as a house."

He caressed her face. "This baby could give you buck teeth, an extra leg, and a wart on a hook nose that you'd grow, and I would still find you beautiful, and I would still want to push you against the wall and fuck you senseless."

Olivia smiled. "I'll hold you to that," she whispered and looked into his eyes. "Let's eat. Baby Tucker is hungry."

Ed smirked. "You're allowed to be hungry, too, you know."

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh I'm hungry, and I know what I want is going to fill me up," she leaned in and whispered. "All night long, possibly well into the morning." She grinned and looked into his eyes. "If you catch my drift." She winked and started looking through the takeout bag.

He chuckled and kissed her neck wrapping his arms around her. "I'm assuming you're not working tomorrow then?"

Olivia smiled. "I should probably take tomorrow totally then put myself on a desk until the stitches come out. I can't hold a gun with this mit," she turned her head and kissed him, slipping her tongue past his lips. "We need to eat," she whispered.

Ed smirked, his classic Ed Tucker smirk. "I was gonna," he defended.

She rolled her eyes. "Real food. We haven't eaten since this morning, and all the sex has already burned it all off." She chuckled. "Food, then fun. You don't eat you don't get to have fun, and we go straight to bed."

"I thought you said no fun." He bit her earlobe.

Olivia turned in his arms. "To bed, clothes on, and a pillow wall between us," she challenged and took her take out container of chicken and broccoli and a fork and starting eating, bumping him with her hip. "Eat." She pointed her chin towards the bag. "So you can eat me," she whispered and winked. "I have to call Fin anyway."

Ed groaned and watched her sway her hips and walk into the living room, calling Fin, letting him know what was going on, shaking his head.

She hung up the phone and looked back at him, biting her bottom lip. "You eating?" She asked, lounging back on the couch.

He took his pepper steak and sat next to her. "Am now," He whispered, kissing her cheek. "Have I mentioned how much I love you?"

Olivia turned and looked at him. "A time or two," she smirked and stole a piece of his pepper steak, winking. "Eat, or no dessert."

Ed kissed her neck, running a hand over her thigh. "Can't I have my dessert before my dinner, just this once," he turned her head and kissed her, his hand caressing her face.

She broke the kiss, keeping her eyes closed as he kissed her neck and her chest. "Maybe just this once." He took her food and put it on the coffee table, getting on his knees, pulling her yoga pants and panties off, letting her legs rest over his shoulders. "Out here?" Her breath was heavy, as he lavished her inner thighs and stomach with kisses. "What— what about, oh Ed, Noah," she moaned quietly.

He looked up at her, kissing right above where he knew she wanted him. "Guess you'll just have to be quiet, won't you?" He spread her folds with one hand, leaning in and starting to suck on her clit.

Olivia let her mouth fall open, her head falling back. "Oh, fuck," she whispered. "Ed," she let out a breathy moan. She pushed herself up with her good hand. "Shit, baby." She closed her eyes. "Mm, suck my clit." She smiled and let out a chuckle, resting her hand on the back of his head, feeling his fingers push inside of her. "Oh, God." She bit her bottom lip. "Oh right there," she whispered and gasped. "Don't stop, Mm." She arched her back.

Ed looked at her and let out a chuckle. "I don't know if this is all me or of it's hormones on top of me, but the sounds you're making, watching, it is insanely sexy."

She gasped, feeling his lips around her clit, his tongue running over her slit. "I don't know either but keep doing what you're doing I'm going to come so hard." Her hips started moving into his face and his hand. "Oh, yeah, baby. Right there, right there, right there." She threw her head back. "Shit," she whined. She grabbed the nearest pillow and held it over her face as she let out a yelp when he hit a particularly sensitive spot inside her.

He grinned. "If I keep hitting that spot, how hard are you gonna come?" He asked, receiving a response mumbled into the pillow, he chuckled and kept hitting the one spot he knew was driving her nuts. "What was that?"

Olivia took a deep breath mans moved the pillow. "I said, I'd probably squirt," she gasped and moved the pillow over her face feeling her orgasm take over, feeling her juices squirting out of her. She gripped the back of his head.

Ed drank in her juices and licked her clean, taking his fingers out of her, moving up her body, moving the pillow and kissing her passionately, letting her taste herself on his lips, hearing her moan. "Fuck that was so sexy," he whispered.

She was trying to catch her breath. "Keep fucking me like that and it'll keep happening," she giggled and kissed him again. "Oh, my God, Ed that was fucking incredible."

He kissed her again and stood up and helped her up, helping her pull her pants and panties up. "Now we've scratched our itch, let's eat, get some food in your belly for baby," he whispered and kissed her forehead.

Olivia smiled and shook her head. "You are incredible," she whispered. "You can go from giving me one of the best orgasms ever, right into daddy mode, making sure our baby is getting the nutrition it needs," she felt tears in her eyes. "God I hope you're ready for an extra emotional nine months," she chuckled and wiped her eyes. "You think I'm emotional normally? The hormones are going to make it worse."

Ed hugged her and held her close. "I'm here through it all," he whispered. "Whether you're crying or screaming, laughing or not wanting to be touched… or really wanting to be touched…" he smirked. "We haven't taken our vows yet, but Liv, for better or worse, you're stuck with me."

She smiled. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." She kissed him softly. "I have to call my gynecologist tomorrow, get in and have them figure out how far along I am." They sat on the couch together. "We've been back together for almost three months. We move quick." She giggled and looked at him. "In less than three months we're engaged, living together, and pregnant." She looked up at him. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

He rested his head on hers and rested his hand on her belly. "I can't wait to meet this little one."

Olivia smiled. "Do you want a boy or a girl?"

"I want a healthy child," Ed smiled and looked at Olivia.

She took a deep breath. "Very diplomatic answer," she grinned. "I want a girl. Obviously, I'll love this baby regardless of gender, but I want a little girl I can dress up and catch in my makeup, wearing my shoes." She giggled and kissed him gently.

He kissed her back and caressed her face. "If we have a little girl, I'm in trouble," he chuckled. "She'll have me wrapped around her little finger, just like her mommy." He looked deep into her eyes.

Olivia smiled and caressed his face. "Our children are going to be so spoiled," she laughed and curled into his side. "I need to eat, I need to elevate my hand, and count down the time until I can take more Tylenol for my hand because at the moment it's throbbing," she smiled and looked at him. "Will you be mad, or upset if we—"

Ed kissed her gently. "You need your rest. Now more than ever," he whispered. "I can survive without sex," he whispered. "Baby, I don't ever want you thinking that I'm here only for sex. You, us, we are so much more than just sex. I love you. Sex is a plus."

She smiled and kissed him and looked into his eyes. "I'm immensely in love with you, Ed Tucker."

He kissed her forehead. "I love you more than life itself, Olivia."

Olivia picked up her dinner and started eating, and he followed suit. Once they were done they cleaned up and Olivia grabbed an ice pack out of the freezer and walked with him to the bedroom, laying on her back, her wounded hand on her stomach, the ice pack on top of it. "Two hours," she whispered.

Ed laid next to her, on his side, kissing her shoulder. "Comfortable?"

She looked over at him. "Other than the throbbing gash on my hand, yeah, I'm good."

He smiled. "Okay, close your eyes and try to relax, baby." He brushed the hair out of her eyes. "I'm right here. I'm always right here," he kissed the side of her head.

Olivia closed her eyes and dozed off. After twenty minutes, Ed took the ice off her hand and looked at her as she slept, laying down and wrapping his arm around her. Olivia's eyes fluttered open and she looked around, seeing darkness. She rolled over and checked the time on her phone, seeing that it was 3 AM, she moved Ed's arm and slid out of bed, moving to the kitchen to take a Tylenol with a drink of water, and putting the ice pack back in the freezer. She rested her hand on her belly and smiled. She walked back to the bedroom and she rested against the door, watching Ed sleep.

It took about fifteen minutes, but Ed's eyes fluttered open. "Liv?"

She smiled and walked back over to the bed, climbing in next to him. "I went to go take something for pain and put the ice pack away. I came back and wanted to watch you sleep." She laid on her right side, her injured hand resting on her thigh. "You look so peaceful," she smiled and kissed him gently. "I was thinking… I might keep Noah home tomorrow. He's going to see my hand and he'll be scared, upset. I don't want him to go to school like that."

He rubbed her arm. "Whatever you think," he smiled and kissed her again. "I was thinking too. We might want to think about a bigger place. So this little one," he whispered, resting his hand on her stomach, "has his or her own room." He found her eyes in the dark. "What do you think?"

Olivia smiled. "I think that's an incredible idea. We can start looking online in the morning," she smiled. "Right now, I want to be wrapped in your arms and fall asleep again." She caressed his face.

Ed wrapped her in his arms and kissed her forehead, pulling the blankets over them. "Goodnight, beautiful."

She blushed and smiled. "Goodnight, my love." She closed her eyes and drifted off into a peaceful sleep, tucked under his chin.

He held her close and drifted back off to sleep. During the night he heard her scream and felt her shoot up. "Liv? Liv, are you okay?" Simultaneously he heard Noah start to cry.

Olivia rested her right hand, clenched in a fist, on her forehead. "I'm fine, go get Noah," she took a deep breath.

Ed got up and walked into Noah's room. "Hey, bud. What's wrong?"

Noah looked at Ed. "I heard mommy screaming, is she okay?"

Ed kissed the top of Noah's head. "Mommy's okay, bud. Mommy's okay."

"Are you sure?"

"You know, I am, but I'll bet seeing her favorite little boy would make her feel a lot better."

"Yeah?" Noah's voice sounded hopeful.

Ed nodded. "Yeah, let's go," he picked Noah up and knocked on the bedroom door and waited for the okay before walking in. "Go say hi," He whispered, setting the boy down and watching him tentatively approach his mother.

Olivia smiled. "Come sit." She pulled him into her lap once he was on the bed. "I was going to show you this in the morning, but since you heard scream, I figure I'll show you now. You know how mommy is always warning you about how sharp knives are?" She held up her bandages hand. "Mommy got distracted while she was chopping up vegetables and I cut my hand. It's not as bad as it could have been. I still have all my fingers, but I had to go get stitches. I screamed because I rolled over and accidentally put pressure on the cut and it hurt, I wasn't expecting it. I didn't mean to wake you, sweet boy."

Noah curled into her chest. "You sure you're alright?"

She smiled. "Absolutely. In a little more than a week I go to get my stitches out. It just hurts right now because it's tender from the doctor putting the stitches in my hand." She looked at him. "I can't move my thumb because of the stitches, I don't want to pull them, but look, I can move all my other fingers," she wiggled the four fingers on her left hand. "Believe me now?"

Noah nodded and hugged her. "I'm glad you're okay."

Olivia kissed his forehead. "Me too, think you can get back to sleep? School tomorrow?

Noah nodded. "Yeah, tomorrow we're having a party, it's the 100th day of school!"

"Well, you can't miss that!" She smiled. "Alright, let daddy tuck you back in, okay?" She kissed his head and watched him run back over to Ed who picked him up and carried him back to his room. She got up and got the ice back and rested it on her hand, letting out a breath, walking back into the bedroom. She sat on the bed next to Ed. "I'm sorry I woke you up," she said softly.

Ed kissed her shoulder. "Don't apologize."

She looked at him. "Did I scare you?

He shrugged. "I was a little startled, but I'm right here, ready to fight to protect you," He whispered kissing her cheek.

Olivia smiled and leaned against him. "I still feel bad."

Ed laid down and pulled her to rest on his chest. "Relax, and sleep. We can sleep all day tomorrow." He whispered.

She smiled and closed her eyes, drifting off to a peaceful, uninterrupted sleep for the rest of the night.

 **A/N: Hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay). Also, a shoutout to ciscokid here on FF. Thank you for the wonderful PM!**


	15. New Beginnings

**I am so excited as to where this is going. I'm figuring out pieces as I write and I'm planning other pieces. Enjoy.**

Olivia was woken up by Ed's lips on hers. She started to kiss him back, exhaling when he pulled away. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled, clearing her throat. "Morning, handsome." Her voice was groggy and laden with sleep.

Ed smiled and caressed her face. "Good morning, beautiful. I made you breakfast in bed. Or, brunch in bed. Without the cocktails."

She sat up. "Brunch, what time is it?" She picked up her phone. "10:30, Noah?"

He put the tray on her lap. "I took him to school. I wanted to wake you up earlier but he wanted you to sleep, he said you need to sleep so your hand will get better."

Olivia chuckled. "I love that little boy so much," she looked at the tray, with eggs, hash browns, bacon, toast, and a fruit bowl, and then she looked at Ed. "This looks incredible," she kissed him softly.

Ed shrugged. "I wasn't sure what you were hungry for, so I got creative." He kissed her temple. "Orange juice and herbal tea on the nightstand. Eat up."

She looked into his eyes. "I am in awe of you, Ed Tucker. You never cease to amaze me." She took a bite of the eggs. "Mm, so incredible," she continued eating. "Did you eat?"

He smiled. "I had waffles with Noah." He rested his hand on her knee, over the blankets. "I wanted to make sure to had enough to eat, that's all yours."

Olivia smiled. "I wish I could say I wouldn't eat all of this, but I feel like I haven't eaten in days." She took a bite of the bacon. "And the bacon's crispy." She kissed him. "I love you," she took a sip of the orange juice."

Ed handed her a dose of Tylenol for her hand and watched her take it. "I have paid attention to every detail, of everything you like for a little bit now. I just want to make you happy, Liv. It's all I've wanted for a while."

She put her fork down. "Ed Tucker, you make me deliriously happy. When I'm with you, it's not that the bad stuff never happened, it's that all the bad stuff, the surface, doesn't matter. You take what happened to me, the bad stuff, and make me realize the woman it's helped me become."

He took a strawberry and held it up to her lips, letting her take it between her teeth. "It's turned you into an extraordinarily strong woman, you've been strong for as long as I've known you, but what you've been through has only made you stronger. How you handled Lewis, and Utley, the bad stuff… has only made me love you more."

Olivia smiled and kissed his cheek. "And when you talk like that I fall even more for you, every single day, Ed, I fall more and more in love with you. Every day I don't think it's possible, and then you are a father to Noah or you make me breakfast in bed, or you put my pleasure above your own, and Ed, I fall even harder, even more in love with you."

Ed kissed her lips, his hand tangling in her hair. "I love you more than I ever thought possible Olivia. I never thought I could love anyone the way I love you or as much as I love you," he whispered. "Finish your breakfast," He kissed her cheek.

She smiled. "Only if you let me take care of you once I finish eating." She winked and kept eating.

He chuckled. "Once you finish eating you can do whatever you want to me, deal?"

Olivia smiled and nodded. She kept eating and she stopped, moving the tray and running to the bathroom, throwing up. She felt Ed's hand running over her back. "I'm alright." She said, wiping her mouth with toilet paper, flushing the toilet. "I'm sorry."

Ed shook his head. "You're pregnant. Don't apologize."

She nodded. "Let me rinse out my mouth and change this bandage," she stood up and moved to the sink, rinsing out her mouth, unwrapping the bandage, looking at the cut on her hand, running it under lukewarm water and patting it dry before wrapping it in a clean stretch of gauze.

He helped her secure the gauze with tape and he kissed her forehead. "Go lay down."

Olivia looked at him. "What about you, I said—"

Ed rested his finger over her lips. "I told you last night, I don't need sex, I don't want you trying to get me off when you feel sick. To me, the most important thing, right now, is that you're okay, healthy, and resting when you need it."

She smiled. "I love you. I'm going to go get in bed and call my gynecologist to set up an ultrasound." She kissed his cheek and walked back into the bedroom and picked up her phone, calling her doctor. "Hi, yes, I need to make an appointment for an ultrasound." She smiled. "Uh, I had to go to the ER last night to get stitches and they did blood work just to make sure I wasn't pregnant so they didn't give me pain meds if I was… and I'm pregnant. I need to figure out how far along I am, and I want to see my baby, however small he or she may be."

He walked in and smiled, hearing her confirm the appointment for later that day, he took the rest of her breakfast into the kitchen, leaving the tea. He walked back in the room and he sat next to her. "How's the hand?" He asked.

Olivia smiled. "Tender, I'll live, so, today, one o'clock, we get to see our baby." She felt tears in her eyes. "I'm already crying, I'm so happy."

Ed kissed her forehead. "You know last night I said I just wanted a healthy baby… I— I want a girl. A little girl who would be just as perfect as her mommy. Just as beautiful."

She blushed. "You've given me everything Ed. I'm so happy," she rested against him and closed her eyes.

He stroked her hair. "I love you," he whispered softly. "I would do anything to make sure you're happy." He kissed her head.

Olivia smiled. "I know you would. All I need to be happy is you, Noah, and this baby in my belly. That's it."

Ed wrapped his arms around her. "You've always got me. No matter what." He rested his head on hers.

She smiled. "Should we start looking for a bigger apartment? I don't want to move too late in the pregnancy. I know you're a big, strong, man and could do it with a little help from friends, but I want to help, too."

He grinned. "Big, strong, man, huh?" He kissed her and climbed on top of her.

Olivia laughed and kissed him. "You're too much," she ran her hands over his shoulders. "Let's look at apartments so we can move sooner rather than later and then go to my appointment, pick up Noah, depending on how far along I am, we can tell Noah that he's getting a little brother or sister, have dinner and tonight, you and I can have a little fun, hm?"

Ed laughed and gently nipped her neck. "Alright, apartment hunting." He climbed off of her and watched her start up her iPad, pulling up an apartment website.

She took a deep breath. "Alright, three bedroom apartments in New York, " she looked over the site. "Here, it's not terribly expensive and with our two incomes, it'll be more than doable. Fifth avenue, 2,000 square feet, three bedrooms, hardwood floors, this is perfect."

He looked at the pictures. "Oh, it's beautiful." He looked at her. "We should contact the realtor, see if we can get in for a tour."

Olivia smiled and pushed the button and sent a message to the realtor. "Alright. Now we wait," she took a deep breath. "And maybe we have a little fun now, and later," she bit her bottom lip, giggling as he got back on top of her, putting the iPad back on her nightstand.

Ed leaned down and kissed her, his hand moving under her T-shirt. He heard her gasp and he smirked. "God, I love you so much."

She moaned and moved to get her shirt off. "I love you, too." She pulled him in for another kiss, grabbing at his shirt, running her hands over his skin. She broke the kiss and moaned. "Ed, baby," she gasped, feeling his mouth on her breast, the other in his hand. "Oh, God, I need you."

He kissed her again, moving his hand inside her panties. "What do you need? My fingers?" He asked pushing his fingers inside of her, hearing her moan, rocking her hips into his hand. "Or more?"

Olivia whined. "More, Ed. I need more. I need your cock," she looked into his eyes. "Please baby, fuck me."

Ed smirked and pulled his shirt over his head, taking her pants and panties off, pulling his pants and boxers off, laying on top of her. "You're sure?"

She arched her back and pushed her hips into his. "Ed, now, I need you. Fuck me," she begged.

He kissed her and pulled her leg up around his waist, pushing into her, starting to thrust inside of her. "Oh, Liv." He groaned.

Olivia moaned and arched her back. "Ed!" She wrapped both her legs around his waist. "Harder, Ed. Please," she begged.

Ed kissed her and rested his hand against the wall, using it as leverage to move harder against her. "Fuck, Liv."

She moaned and pushed her hips up into his. "Oh that feels so good," she held the back of his head as he kissed her neck.

He kissed up to her lips and slipping his tongue past her lips, hearing her moan. He felt her nails scratch his back and he groaned, breaking the kiss. "God, Liv, I'm—"

Olivia cut him off. "Oh, my God! Me too, Ed," she arched into him. "Ed!" She cried, feeling her orgasm start to take over, moving her hips into his. "Come on baby, please," she begged.

Ed groaned, releasing inside of her, riding both of their climaxes out before he stopped, caressing her face, both of them panting. "You're a goddess."

She smiled and licked her lips, looking into his eyes. "It's fitting, because you're a god." She smiled. "That was… exactly what I needed." She looked at him and smiled. "Thank you."

He kissed her lips and her neck, rolling off of her and pulling her against him. "Never thank me for giving you an orgasm." He chuckled. "I am happy to give you an orgasm whenever and wherever…" he whispered.

Olivia smiled and kissed his chest. "You know where I've always wanted to have sex?"

Ed looked down at her. "Where?"

She smiled and bit her bottom lip. "My office, on my desk. Not in the middle of the day, I work SVU for God's sake. But at night when everyone's gone home for the day, door locked, blinds drawn, bent over my desk, my panties down around my ankles." She grinned and looked up at him. "It took a while, after that second meeting with Lewis, to realize that it wouldn't be him, that it would be on my terms and consensual. And I still don't know if I'd be able to have sex, bent over a desk like that, I don't know, some schools of thought thinks it helps heal trauma, it takes back the power. It's just a… a fantasy." She shrugged.

He kissed the top of her head. "Listen to me, if you want that, I'll make it happen for you, okay? But knowing what I know about that second time with Lewis, and what you just said, if we were to do that, over any table, your desk or not, you need to take the lead, and I need you to be vocal, okay? I don't want to be the reason you go into a flashback."

Olivia looked up at him and smiled, taking his hand in her unbandaged hand. "You are an incredible man, Ed Tucker. You know that? It's not that you're asking for communication in a sexual circumstance that could trigger me, which is great, but the fact that you'd be willing to try it at all, after Lewis…" she shook her head. "Most guys would hear what he did and never want to even attempt, because they wouldn't want to deal with the possible panic attack that would come with it."

Ed looked down at her. "I just want you to have all the pleasure in the world, however I can give it to you."

She smiled and kissed him. "I love you," she looked at her phone. "I should get ready, we get to go see our baby," she kissed him and got up, grabbing a bra and panties out of her drawer and put them on, bending over to get out another pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt. She looked back at him as she stepped into her yoga pants and slipped her shirt over her head. "You gonna get dressed or are you planning on coming to my doctor's office with me naked?"

He got up and walked over to her, grabbing her ass. "I could just watch you move all day long." He kissed her. "I'm getting dressed, I am, I just can't keep my hands off of you."

Olivia smiled and kissed him gently. "The feeling's mutual." She looked into his eyes, slapping his ass and kissing him gently. "Get dressed, I'm going to fix my hair, try to make it look like my fiancé didn't just fuck me." She took a deep breath and winked, walking into the bathroom.

Ed smiled and slipped into boxers and jeans and a navy polo shirt. He walked in the bathroom and pulled her flush against him, his hands on her hips. "Did you spank me?"

She met his eyes in the mirror and smiled. "I did, did you like it?"

He smirked and kissed her neck. "It wasn't horrible, but I like to be the one spanking you. I like hearing you moan."

Olivia looked back at him. "Well?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. She felt him slap her ass. "Mm," she pushed her hips back, leaning too hard on her injured hand. "Fuck!" She sighed. "I forget where the cut is, and I put pressure on it," she sighed.

Ed ran his fingers through her hair. "Hand me the hairtie. I'll put your hair up."

She handed him the elastic band and looked at his eyes in the mirror. "Thank you."

He kissed her head. "Always." He gathered her hair into his hand, making sure there were no bumps. "Ponytail or messy bun?"

Olivia smiled, tears in her eyes. "Whichever you think looks best," she wiped her eyes.

Ed put her hair in a messy bun and turned her around. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing." She smiled and sniffled. "Damn hormones," she whispered and chuckled. "I just… I love how you take care of me."

He wrapped her in his arms. "I love you, Olivia. I'd do anything for you." He kissed her lips softly. "Come on, let's go see our baby." He wiped her tears away with his thumbs.

Olivia smiled and nodded. "Yeah." She took his hand and they walked out together, slipping into shoes, grabbing their keys, and headed to the doctor's office.

 **A/N: So we still haven't seen the baby, that's coming next chapter! Leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay).**


	16. A Lotta Glue

**I had to do a lot of research for this chapter, and I'm really proud of how it all came together. I'll talk more at the end.**

Olivia sat on the exam table, looking at Ed who was pacing. "Relax," she said and took his hand as he passed, pulling him over to her. "You're making me anxious."

Ed stood between her legs. "I'm sorry, I've just never been—"

She smiled. "In a gynecologist's office before?" She caressed his face. "It's okay. It's intimidating at first. Just be thankful we're not here for a full pelvic. Wait until you see the torture device they use to look at my cervix."

He looked at her and ran his hands over her thighs. "You doing okay?"

Olivia smiled. "I just can't wait to see our baby. I'm a little hungry, a little wanting you, in this polo," she smiled and chuckled, running her hands over his chest. She leaned in and kissed him softly.

Ed wrapped her in his arms and kissed her back. He heard the door open and he stopped kissing her, but rested his forehead against hers, rather than jumping away.

Her eyes shone brightly as she looked into his eyes. "Hi, Dr. Cooper," She peeked around Ed and smiled. "Sorry, my fiancé is a little nervous."

The red headed doctor smiled. "Oh, please. It's refreshing to see a couple so deeply in love. As long as you aren't giving us a performance of how that baby was made, we don't mind." She washed her hands and walked over to Ed and Olivia. "Ready to see your baby."

Olivia looked up at Ed and nodded. "We've been ready for this since last night." She looked back at the doctor and laid back on the table, seeing Ed move out of the corner of her eye.

The doctor smiled. "How long have you two been together? I haven't seen you in a couple years."

She took a deep breath. "I know I've missed my annual appointments, I'm sorry." She looked at Ed. "We we're together for about, what a year or so? A little more maybe, and then I had one of my moments, and pushed Ed away. It was a little over a year before I showed up at his apartment in thigh highs a trench coat and heels. That was about three months ago." She took Ed's hand and squeezed it.

The red head smiled. "You are a very lucky girl. Let's see your baby, shall we?" She put a little bit of the gel on her stomach. "Any symptoms?"

Olivia shook her head. "Morning sickness started today actually, and I guess I've been hormonal, but who can tell the difference between me being myself tearing up and the baby making me tear up." She laughed and felt the wand on her stomach. "I was joking before that the two of us work fast. Less than three months and we've moved in together, we're engaged, and pregnant."

Dr. Cooper nodded. "I wish I could say that's the fastest I've seen, but in my line of work…" she shook her head. "Ready to see baby?" She turned the monitor, revealing a grainy black and white image. "Here's your baby."

Olivia's mouth fell open, tears in her eyes. She touched the monitor. "Hi baby," she looked back at Ed. "We made that," She caressed Ed's face.

Dr. Cooper smiled. "Looks like you're about twelve weeks. Do you want to hear the heartbeat?"

Olivia looked from Ed to the doctor and she smiled. "Yeah," almost immediately the room filled with the sound of their baby's heartbeat. She covered her mouth, tears running down her face. "I never—" she cleared her throat and wiped her eyes. "I never thought I'd hear that sound. Oh my God, Ed…" she looked at him. "We made a baby."

Ed kissed her softly and smiled. "The baby isn't even born yet and it's already the most beautiful baby I've ever seen." He looked back at the screen. "Do we know what it is yet."

Dr. Cooper smiled. "Not quite yet, about another month. But we'll be seeing a lot of each other for the next six months. You're a high risk pregnancy, Olivia. Just based on age, so we'll have you in every two weeks, sooner if any problems arise. We have to monitor you closely to make sure you and baby are healthy."

Olivia smiled back. "Can we get a couple copies of those pictures?" She squeezed Ed's hand. "I can't wait to tell Noah." She felt Ed's lips on her knuckles.

Dr. Cooper handed them copies of the sonogram and a prescription for prenatal vitamins. "Start those today, and I'll see you back here in two weeks. If anything comes up call, or go to the ER, but I'm confident that you can have a healthy baby."

Olivia smiled. "Thank you Dr. Cooper. We'll see you in two weeks." She let the doctor wipe the jelly off her stomach and she pulled her shirt down and stood up, taking Ed's hand. She made another appointment at the desk for two weeks and they left, stopping at the pharmacy, picking up her prescription, and heading to Noah's school to pick him up. She saw him run out and she crouched down and wrapped him in her arms. "Oh, hello, sweet boy!"

Noah hugged her and smiled. "Are you feelin' better?"

She smiled. "I am. How about we go home? Mommy and Daddy have some news for you."

The trio walked home together, each adult holding one of Noah's hands. When they got home, Olivia took her shoes off and sat on the couch, next to Ed, and pulled Noah onto her lap. "What's News, Mommy?"

Olivia smiled. "News is information. You ready to hear what we have to tell you?" She saw him nod, and she looked at Ed, taking one of the sonograms. "Look," she handed the picture to Noah.

"What is it?"

She smiled. "It's a baby," she took a deep breath. "That baby is growing in my belly, and in six months, you're going to have a little brother or sister."

Noah looked confused. "How'd a baby get in there?"

Olivia knew this was a possibility, and she was prepared. "Well, Mommy and Daddy are adults, and our bodies make certain things that when they come together, they make a baby. Men make something called sperm and women make eggs. When the two meet a baby starts to be made, and it grows in the mommy's belly for nine months and then it's born."

"But how do they mix?"

Olivia took a deep breath. She was hoping the sperm and egg information would be enough. "Uh, well, when a mommy and a daddy love each other, they'll spend a lot of time alone, privately, and they like to take that time to make each other feel good, and happy, by touching each other. It's a way of showing one another that they love each other."

"But its a secret, like the game you were playing in your room a little bit ago?"

"Yes, sweet boy. It's a secret, something only the mommy and daddy know they're doing." She kissed his forehead. "Do you have anymore questions?" And he did, but she wasn't ready for what he had to ask.

"Did I grow in your belly, too?"

Olivia turned and looked at Ed, concern on her face. "Um…" she shook her head. "No. Do you remember when Grandma Sheila told you about Ellie?" She saw Noah nod. "You grew inside of Ellie's tummy, and when you were born, she was really sick Noah, and she couldn't take care of you. And the people that were supposed to be taking care of you were really bad people."

"Like my other daddy?"

"Yes, sweet boy. And I went in and I arrested them, and they're in jail for what they did. And I found you. I knew then you were meant to be my little boy. It took a few months for the courts to let me bring you home. Noah, you didn't grow in my tummy, but I picked you out of all the other little boys and girls, to be my son. And I love you so much."

"Are you going to love this baby more because it's growin' in your tummy?"

Olivia smiled and shook her head. "I'm going to love you both the same way, Noah. But when the baby is born, they're going to need a lot of attention. They won't be able to do anything for themselves, and they can't even talk."

"Can I help with the baby!" Noah seemed excited.

She smiled and kissed his temple. "Absolutely." She held him and leaned over and kissed Ed. "I am going to go take my prenatal vitamin, maybe have a little snack so I can take some tylenol for my hand." She whispered and had Noah move to Ed's lap. "You boys figure out dinner." She got up and walked to the kitchen, finding the peanut butter and a spoon and taking a spoonful before putting the jar away and eating the peanut butter off as she poured herself a glass of milk and added some chocolate syrup to it, stirring it. She took one of her vitamins and a dose of Tylenol as she looked out at Ed and Noah, a smile on her face.

Ed kissed Noah's temple and walked into the kitchen, after turning on the TV for Noah. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, kissing behind her ear. "You answered those sex questions like a pro."

She grinned. "I'd done research. I knew the questions were going to come up eventually. I wanted to be ready, to tell him the truth, but not be too graphic or overwhelm him. It's important to me that he doesn't think a giant bird carrying our baby is going to land outside on the roof and poof, there's a baby. He's known the anatomical names for penis and vagina since before he could talk, because I work SVU, and I know the statistics of sexual abuse for kids. I wanted him to know the right words in case, God forbid, anyone ever touched him. I taught him that no one was allowed to touch him there until he was older and he said that it was okay, and that if anyone ever did that it was okay to tell me, no matter what the other person said. That he wouldn't be in trouble." She took a deep breath. As he gets older the descriptions of sex will change, to what he can understand."

He turned her head and kissed her softly. "You're such a good mom."

Olivia smiled. "I'm a cop who's overly paranoid about her son being hurt."

Ed rested his forehead against the back of her head. "Take the compliment, will ya?"

 **A/N: okay, before anyone comes after me for how they handled "the talk", I googled and read two different parenting sites as to how to handle talking about sex with a 6 year old. What they suggested was going into semen and ovulation, so I simplified that. But I truly believe that Olivia would be as honest as possible with him, while still wanting to keep him an innocent little boy. I believe she would refer to "private parts" as their anatomical names, while also making sure he knows that they are private. And that no one can touch him without permission. Because of what she does and what she sees day in and day out. If this isn't how you'd tell your children, that's fine, but don't come at me in reviews. But please leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay).**


	17. Better

**Just a smutty filler chapter. Enjoy.**

Olivia kissed Noah's forehead. "Goodnight sweet boy." She tucked him in. "I love you."

Noah smiled. "I love you too, Mommy." He snuggled up with Eddie and closed his eyes.

Olivia walked out to the hallway and closed his door, and looked at Ed who was standing in the kitchen doing dishes. She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him from behind, resting her head against his back, closing her eyes. "Mm," she kissed his shoulder blades.

Ed turned in her arms, lifting her chin and kissing her softly. "I love you," he whispered against her lips.

She kissed him back and smiled, pulling away softly and looked into his eyes. "I love you, too." She ran her hands over his chest and took a deep breath. "Come hold me."

He took her good hand as she led him to their bedroom. He changed into sweats and took off his shirt as she crawled under the covers. He joined her once he was changed. "Today was a good day," he whispered.

Olivia smiled and curled into him, resting her head on his chest. "It was. But I feel like I've been up for four days straight." She kissed his chest gently.

Ed rubbed her back and stroked her hair. "Did we ever hear back from the realtor?"

She nuzzled further into him. "Reach over me and grab my phone, I'll check my email."

He tilted her chin up and kissed her softly, rolling her on her back, leaning over and grabbing her phone, rolling them back on their sides. "Figured I'd make it enjoyable for both of us."

Olivia laughed. "You're too much," she took her phone and scrolled through her email. "Tomorrow at eleven." She put her phone down and closed her eyes. "Thirteen hours is too much sleep, isn't it?"

Ed kissed her temple. "Normally, probably, but being pregnant, you need to sleep." He ran his hand over her arm. "Sleep, wake up when you wake up."

She kissed his chest. "Or you could wake me up at 8:30 and we could have some fun before we go look at the apartment."

He smiled. "I could do that, press you up against the wall and touch you, or suck your clit, or make love to you, or fuck you. Whatever you want."

Olivia moaned softly. "You make me so wet baby," she pushed her hips into his.

Ed smirked. "You need me to help so you can sleep?" He asked, gripping her ass, pulling her into a kiss.

She kissed him back, gripping his hair, her hips flush against his. She moaned and broke the kiss. "Touch me," she whispered. "God, please touch me, make me come."

He slipped his hand into her pants and into her panties, his lips on hers, slipping his fingers inside her, his thumb rubbing her clit, swallowing her moans. "Fuck," he whispered.

Olivia curled into his chest and whimpered, rocking her hips into his hand. She slid her hands into his boxers, taking his erection in her hand, stroking him, falling in pace with his thrusts. "Oh, Ed," she rested her free hand on the back of his neck, as she stroked him. "Baby, please," she begged, kissing him passionately, feeling his hips thrust into her hand.

Ed broke the kiss and buried his head in the crook of her neck. "Oh, God, Liv," he whispered, his breath heavy.

She groaned. "I'm so close," she bit his shoulder. "Fuck, yeah baby." She let her head fall back. "Mm, right there."

He groaned. "Don't stop. I'm so close." He whispered in her ear. "Yeah, just like that."

Olivia gasped and felt her orgasm start to take over her body. "Ed," she moaned, her hips moving erratically. "I— fuck!" she whined and bit his shoulder again, letting his skin muffle her screams.

Ed let out a breath, feeling her hand continuing to stroke him. "Aah, Olivia," he groaned as his release shot out of him.

She smiled. "Mm, Ed," she pulled his hand away. "It's too much, oh God, baby." She kissed him passionately, pulling him on top of her. "Fuck, you're good."

He chuckled. "Magic fingers," he whispered in her ear.

Olivia chuckled. "All of you is magic." She kissed him once more and rested her head back on her pillow. "Oh, God, I needed that," she smiled, feeling him roll off of her, she rolled on her side. "One problem," she whispered. "I now need an ice pack for my hand."

Ed kissed her quickly. "Don't move a muscle. I'll grab the ice pack." He got up, adjusted himself and walked out to the kitchen to grab the ice pack, the Tylenol and some water for Olivia, walking back to the bedroom, setting the Tylenol and water on her nightstand. "Here you go, sexy."

She rolled to her back and smiled. "Thank you my love." She pulled him down and kissed him gently.

He kissed her back and climbed over her. "Anything for you." He put the ice on her hand and wrapped his arms around her. "Now," he whispered, kissing her forehead. "Sleep, baby."

Olivia nuzzled into him as best she could on her back. "I love you," she smiled and craned her neck up and kissed him.

Ed kissed her back. "I love you, too." He whispered, holding her closer watching as her eyes drifted closed and her breathing evened out. After the ice had been on her hand for twenty minutes he took it off her hand and put it on his nightstand. He pulled her closer and kissed her temple, his hand gently rubbing her belly.

She turned on her side, rolling into him. He held her tight, wrapping blankets around them and falling into a deep sleep. She woke up first, the sunlight filtering through the window. She caressed Ed's face and smiled, kissing him gently, settling back against him, closing her eyes again, falling back asleep.

He felt her lips on his and it stirred him awake. He looked at the clock on her nightstand and saw it was just after six thirty. He rested his head back on the pillow and he softly stroked her hair. Once he heard Noah's door open he kissed her forehead and slipped out of bed, walking out to see Noah rubbing his eyes. "Hey bud. How'd you sleep?"

Noah looked up at him. "Pretty good. Mommy still sleeping?"

Ed smiled and nodded. "She is. What do you say we get dressed and go out for breakfast before school? I'll let mommy know."

Noah thought. "That sounds fun! I'll go get dressed."

Ed smiled and watched him run back in his bedroom. Ed walked back into the master bedroom and sat next to Olivia who had rolled on her other side, he leaned in and kissed her softly. When she started to kiss back he pulled away, looking into her eyes. "Sorry to wake you, I just wanted to let you know, Noah and I are going to go to breakfast before school. Call me if you need me, okay?"

Olivia smiled and nodded. "I'll probably just be asleep anyway," she took his hand in hers.

He smiled and kissed her again softly. "Do you want me to bring you home anything?"

She thought for a minute. "Nutella crepes and corned beef hash." She pulled him in for another kiss. "And you," she whispered against his lips.

Ed smirked. "Of course me," he whispered and kissed her softly. "Let me get dressed and I'll be back in about an hour or so, okay?"

Olivia smiled. "Okay. I'm going to get some more sleep." She closed her eyes and felt his lips on her forehead.

He stood up and changed and grabbed his wallet off the dresser. He walked out and helped Noah grab his things and get his shoes on and they walked out of the apartment, locking the door behind them. They walked to a local diner for breakfast, pancakes for Noah, Eggs Benedict for Ed, and he ordered Olivia's breakfast to go. Ed dropped Noah off at school and then headed back to the apartment, immediately going in to see Olivia scrolling through her phone. "Good morning, sexy."

Olivia smiled. "Welcome home." She smiled and stood up, wrapping her arms around him. "How was breakfast?" She asked her eyes moving from his to his lips.

Ed smirked. "Good, and I have your breakfast," he whispered, holding the bag up. "Right here." He lifted her chin and kissed her passionately. "Get back in bed so you can eat, and then I can ravish you," he whispered, biting her neck.

She sighed and let out a moan. She pulled away and climbed back on the bed, opening the styrofoam container with her crepes and opening the plastic fork and knife and cutting into the crepe, taking a bite. "Mm," she groaned. "Oh God, that's amazing."

He sat next to her and smiled, noticing the bit of Nutella on her top lip. "You got some…" he pointed to his own lip.

Olivia looked at him with a coy smile. "Well, you could always take care of it." She bit her bottom lip.

Ed caressed her face, leaning in to kiss her, softly sucking the Nutella from her upper lip. He pulled away and smiled. "I can honestly say I've never had Nutella before now, and all I know is that it tastes so good, eating it off you."

She moaned softly and looked at him. "I guess we'll have to buy a jar and keep it in the bedroom, then you can slather it all over my body and lick it off… well, everywhere but my pussy," she smiled and pulled him closer. "You could put it on my breasts and suck it off my nipples." She bit her bottom lip.

He groaned. "Can we put your breakfast in the fridge for later so I can make you scream now?"

Olivia took her top off and put some Nutella from her crepes on each nipple, putting the food on her nightstand, laying down. "I'm all yours, and I'm so wet talking about your lips and tongue all over my body. Mm. I need you baby."

Ed smirked and climbed on the bed, taking her left nipple in his mouth, sucking the sweet chocolate hazelnut spread off, running his tongue over it, before moving to her right breast to give it the same treatment, her moans reached his ears and he groaned, kissing her lips, pulling her pants and panties off, kissing her and pushing two fingers inside her. "Fuck," he whispered.

She whined and thrust her hips up into his hand. "Baby, please. I need you. More." She begged and gripped his shoulders.

He grinned. "Tell me what you want, baby. I want to hear you say it."

Olivia moaned as his fingers moved inside of her, her hips still moving against his hand, her clit grinding into it. "I want your fingers and your mouth on and in my pussy, and then I want your cock in my pussy. I want you to make me come so hard baby. I want to see stars." She arched her back. "Oh, fuck baby. More. I need more inside me."

Ed smirked. "Your wish is my command," he whispered as he added a third finger inside her, seeing her mouth fall open. "That's it baby. Come for me. Then I'll make you come with my tongue." He spread her legs further apart as her hips started moving more erratically as her orgasm took over. He pulled his fingers from her, licking them clean.

She watched him, still coming down from her orgasm. "Fuck, that's so sexy." She bit her lip, her hips still moving, searching for contact. She felt his lips around her clit, his tongue flicking over it, and she rested on her elbow. "Oh, my God!" She threw her head back. "Shit, baby," she inhaled sharply, exhaling through her teeth, her free hand gripping the back of his head. "Yeah baby, suck my clit." Her mouth fell open.

He groaned, his hands keeping her legs open, running over her inner thighs. He looked up at her, her eyes closed, her hands gripping the sheets. He smirked and pushed his tongue inside of her, groaning. "Oh, so good."

Olivia was in sensory overload, feeling his tongue against her walls had her pushing herself up further, letting out a high pitched moan, her back arched. "I'm gonna come again." She panted. "Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm. Right there," she screamed and ground her hips into his face.

Ed smirked and licked the length of her slit and moved his head when he noticed she was coming down, but was still in the throes of pleasure and he quickly shed his pants and underwear and pushed his throbbing erection inside her, her moans getting louder and lower in pitch. "That's it sexy. Moan for me, scream for me." He started thrusting inside of her, hard and fast.

Her eyes rolled back and her hips met his every thrust. "Fuck me baby. Don't stop." She pulled him in for a kiss. "You feel so good Ed. Please!" She begged and felt him lift her leg over his shoulder, feeling him deeper. "FUCK!" She let out a whine and felt her orgasm that hadn't ever finished come back full force. "Baby, come for me. Please." She rode out her last orgasm and gently pushed him off, pushing him back on the bed, kneeling up and licking her fingers, running the wet digits down her naked body already glistening with sweat. "I'm gonna make you come, baby."

He groaned when he felt her hand around him, followed by her mouth. "Oh, yeah, Liv." He gripped her hair. "Like that, Mm." He watched her.

Olivia looked up at him, her eyes innocent, but her actions anything but. She released him and licked over his shaft. "You like that? You gonna come for me? Let me taste you?" She stroked him as she spoke, her free hand massaging his balls in her hand, hearing him groan. "Mm, let me taste you, please baby. I love how you taste."

Ed groaned. He loved the way she talked when she was aroused like this. Even more, he loved how much pleasing him aroused her. "Aah, fuck!" He groaned and released in her mouth, feeling her kiss all over his shaft once she'd swallowed his release, then kissing up to his lips and kissing him passionately. Ed groaned and broke the kiss. "You're incredible."

She smiled and cuddled up next to him. "The things you do to my body, you give me sensations in parts I didn't even know I had." She giggled and traced circles on his chest. "The way you fuck me, baby…" she let out a breath. "Oh my God. I have more orgasms in one round of sex with you than I have ever had in my life and they don't just leave me breathless, they're fucking earth shattering." She nuzzled into his neck. She chuckled and looked at him.

"What?" He asked with a smile.

Olivia shook her head, chuckling again. "I love pregnancy hormones… when they aren't making me cry over the stupidest things…" she kissed his chest. "I always want you. All the time, without the hormones. Add them in and I can't get enough of you."

Ed kissed her forehead. "I'm glad I can satisfy you."

She looked at him. "Hey, you're the only one I want satisfying me, because you're the only one who makes me feel this way." She kissed him gently and felt his arms around her. "Stop thinking you aren't enough for me. Ed, you're more than enough, okay. More than I deserve. You are a good man, you're a good father, and an incredible lover. The sex is a plus, but if the first two weren't true, I wouldn't be here. I love you, and I trust you."

He looked at her and nodded. "I am in awe of you… all of the time." He rubbed her back. As much as I make sure you get your release, you make sure I get mine, and I know you feel guilty when you don't, or when you can't. For whatever reason. But I am so in love with you. It doesn't matter to me if I don't get that release. I want you to get all that pleasure. Because you deserve it all. I love you, and my goal is to be the best fiancé, soon to be the best husband, and the best father I can be. You make me a better man. You make me want to be a better man."

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! Told you that this was just a filler chapter. More coming soon. Leave a review here or on Twitter (couricshargitay)**


	18. Can’t Quit You

**Okay, I'm not into real estate. I don't know that this would happen. That's why it's called Fan FICTION. I try to make it as realistic as possible, but I take artistic liberties. *Kanye shrug***

"And this is the master bedroom, complete with en suite bathroom with a jacuzzi tub and a his and her vanity." The realtor showed them the room and they looked around.

Olivia looked at the closet. "That is a huge closet." She walked out and looked at Ed, wrapping her arms around him. "Room this size we can get that king size bed we've had our eye on."

Ed smirked and held her hips, following her into the bathroom where they both stopped in their tracks. "Wow."

She opened the shower stall and turned to look at her fiancé. "It's like whoever designed this bathroom consulted us," She whispered and kissed him gently and looked at him.

He looked at the realtor. "Let's talk numbers. We like this place, but we're concerned about the crack in the wall on the backsplash in the kitchen, and the exposed wire in the living room. We have a six year old and another one on the way, this apartment needs to be safe before we'll even think about moving in. If you expect us to take care of the repairs a considerable amount needs to come off the asking price."

The realtor took a deep breath. "You know your stuff. You a realtor?"

Olivia smiled and rested her hand on Ed's chest. "I'm a Lieutenant in the NYPD, my fiancé is a retired NYPD Captain."

The realtor nodded. "NYPD. Well, you're in luck. The owner of this apartment is a brother officer. Retired. I'm sure he'd like to give back to a brother and sister in blue."

Ed looked at Olivia. "I wouldn't count on it if they find out who I am."

She kissed his cheek. "You were doing your job, honey." She took his hand and looked at the realtor. "Most of the NYPD doesn't like him."

"So unless this is Cole's apartment I doubt they'll even look at us, much less give us a deal." He looked at Olivia. "I'm sorry Liv."

"Not Cole, no. Deed is in the name Stabler." The Realtor looked at the stunned faces of the couple in front of her.

Olivia looked at Ed. "That was the only other person in the world who would give us a deal. I'll bite the bullet and call him." She ran her hands through her hair. "Someone's lookin' out for us." She looked at the realtor. "We'll be in touch, thank you."

Ed put his hand on her back and walked out with her. "Liv, you don't have to," he said. "If you're uncomfortable—"

She interrupted him. "Ed, that apartment is perfect. And it'll be a little weird, but this apartment…" she shook her head. "It'll be fine." She ran her hands over his chest. "But if he wants to meet up you're coming with me."

He laughed and kissed her gently. "Anything for you." He walked to the elevator in the building and pushed the button and Olivia took out her phone and called Elliot. "Elliot? You'll never guess where Ed and I just were." She stepped into the elevator with Ed and smiled. "This beautiful three bedroom apartment on Fifth Avenue. Hardwood floors, beautiful walk in closet, and a master bathroom that'll take your breath away." She nodded. "Yeah, we are, we're looking to get something soon, before I get too far along." She looked up at Ed and smiled bumping into his hip and kissing his hand. "Three months," she smiled. "Thank you." She walked off the elevator with Ed. "We fell in love with the apartment." She stopped on her tracks. "Elliot, that's not—" she took a deep breath. "What's the catch? Because I'm not—" she smiled. "Thank you." She hung up the phone, her mouth still agape.

"What'd he say?" Ed asked and looked at her.

She looked at him. "He said he's only going to ask us to pay the Realtor's commission, which would only be about five grand." She took a deep breath. "He said he's going to call the realtor and have her draw up the contract but that's all he wants. He said to consider it a wedding present and a shower gift for the baby." She smiled. "We have an apartment, Ed."

He pulled her in for a hug and smiled. "How about we go celebrate before Noah gets out of school, and on the way home from picking him up, while you sleep, I'll stop and get some boxes." He kissed her.

Olivia smiled and took his hand in hers. "I have an itch that I'm hoping only you can help me scratch. With a little help." She ran her fingers up his chest. "You should get me home. It's going to be mind blowing… for both of us."

Ed hailed a cab and they climbed in, heading back to the apartment, his arms around her, stealing soft kisses. Once they got home he walked up to the apartment with her, following her into the bedroom, seeing her open her drawer of sex toys. He saw her pick up a dark gray metal toy in the shape of a teardrop. It had a red heart gem at the bottom. She pulled out a bottle of lube and she smiled. "What is that?"

She smirked. "This is something that is going to make my pussy feel tight, it's going to make my orgasm incredible. It's an anal plug. I put this inside my ass, keep it in there while you fuck my pussy." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It's so good, baby."

He pulled her close. "I'm willing to try anything with you." He kissed her passionately.

Olivia pulled away gently. "Anything?" She asked and smirked. "Because it's shown that when a man uses an anal plug while performing vaginal intercourse, or anal intercourse, that the stimulation of the prostate helps keep you hard longer and makes your release even better. Like, going to make your body shake." She pulled another, smaller plug from the drawer.

Ed looked at her. "Prostate stimulation can do that?" He kissed her and bit her bottom lip.

She kissed him and groaned. "That's what I've read. Interested enough to give it a shot?"

He took the plug from her. "Maybe. Just… maybe down the road."

Olivia chuckled and kissed him. "Whatever you want, baby." She took the plug from his hand and put it back in her drawer. "Now, do you want to watch me put this in?" She held the slightly larger plug in her hand. "You can help if you want."

Ed pulled her top off. "How about I watch this time. I don't want to do it wrong," he whispered and kissed her passionately.

She grinned and pulled away. "Get me out of these clothes and I'll put it in for you," she whispered. She felt his hands push her pants and panties off her body and she smirked. She felt her bra come off and she crawled on the bed, taking the bottle of lube and putting a little on the plug and around her ass, moaning gently, looking back at him as she pushed the plug inside of her, groaning. "Mm, fuck."

He kissed up her back and moved her hair out of the way. "Mm, that's so fucking sexy."

Olivia smiled and turned around, standing up. "Now, I want you out of these clothes, and I want you to fuck me." She looked at the time. "Because we have a little less than an hour until Noah gets out of school, and this is going to make me scream." She pulled him closer by his shirt, kissing him and unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans, pushing them down along with his boxers, breaking the kiss and taking his shirt off. She got back on the bed and smiled. "Come get me baby," she smiled and watched him climb up on the bed, pulling her leg up over his shoulder.

Ed grinned. "How do you want it?" He asked, rubbing her clit.

She moaned and pulled him in for a kiss. "Hard and fast, baby." She grinned and moaned, feeling him push into her. "Oh, baby. Mm."

He groaned. "Oh my God, Liv." He kissed her. "Fuck you feel amazing." He started thrusting hard and fast inside her.

Olivia moaned loudly. "Oh, fuck yeah, baby." Her moans got louder as Ed continued to move, hitting spots that he usually couldn't with penetrative sex. "Right there, Ed! Don't fucking stop baby." Her breath was heavy, her chest flushed. "Harder."

Ed smirked and stopped momentarily. "Turn around, I'll hold you up so you aren't leaning on your hand."

She smiled and let her leg fall, getting her knees and turning around, feeling his arm wrap around her. He pushed into her and they both let out a loud groan, Ed because she felt so incredible, and Olivia because he hit her G spot. "Jesus fucking Christ!" She screamed. "Ed, move!"

He groaned and pulled her hips back, thrusting into her. He buried his face in her neck, biting gently. "Fuck, Liv. God, I'm so close."

Olivia moaned, letting her head fall back. "Ed, fuck. I'm gonna come. Baby please." She pushed her hips back and moaned loudly. "Yeah, baby, Mm." She let out a breath. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" She felt her orgasm take over her body, her muscles milking him, feeling his release inside her and she rested on one arm on the bed, feeling him pull out of her. She let out a breath and moaned when he spanked her. "Mm, you drive me crazy baby."

Ed ran his hands over her back. "That was so fucking hot."

She smiled and looked over her shoulder at him. "You liked how that felt? She smiled and rolled over, her breath still heavy. "It's a fucking incredible thing."

He kissed up her body. "You felt incredible."

Olivia smiled. "Right back at you baby, but now I have to go take this out of me and clean it because I'm ready for a nap now, and I don't like to sleep with these inside me." She kissed him passionately then slipped out of bed, walking to the bathroom, leaning on her arm and reaching back to take the plug out, letting out a groan, washing it with warm water and soap and drying it off. While she was in there she took the bandage off her hand and cleaned it and rewrapped it. "Baby, can you come in here really quick?"

Ed walked in. "You okay?"

She smiled. "Perfect, I just need your help taping the bandage. I figured while I was in here I'd clean my hand and rewrap it."

He smiled and helped her tape the bandage and kissed her softly. "How's it feel?"

Olivia smiled. "Well, now that I remember where the stitches are and don't accidentally bump them it feels worlds better." She wrapped her arms around him. "I'm really glad you're so open minded about the different sex toys."

Ed smiled. "You never cease to amaze me, to surprise me. In the best ways, Liv. I never knew you were into anal play."

She shrugged. "Well, not all the time, I still prefer vaginal intercourse. But it can be fun… if the partner knows what they're doing, or is willing to listen if they don't." She rubbed his chest. "If you wanted to… we could always have some fun later, or another time. Up to you." She smiled and bit her bottom lip, kissing him gently. "I love you."

He caressed her face. "I love you, too. Like I said earlier, I'm willing to try anything with you. I don't know much about anal sex, but you tell me what to do and I'll do my best to give you the best orgasm I can."

Olivia smirked and looked deep into his eyes. "You always give me the best orgasms, Ed." She kissed him softly, slipping her tongue into his mouth, groaning gently. "Back to the bed, before you get me all worked up again."

Ed smiled and walked back in with her looking at the time. "I need to get dressed and go get Noah. You gonna be okay?"

She put the plug back in it's cloth bag and put it back in the drawer along with the lube. "I'll be fine. I'm going to put on some sweats and one of your t-shirts and take a bit of a nap. I'm tired." She leaned in and whispered. "You wore me out." She grinned and walked over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of panties and sweats slipping into them, and pulled out one of Ed's shirts and slipped into it.

She watched him walk over and continued watching him get dressed. "See something you like?" He asked her with a smirk.

Olivia bit her bottom lip. "Just a hot image for me to think about while I lay here trying to fall asleep."

Ed smirked. "Save some of the fun for later tonight," he whispered and kissed her once more, passionately, before he left to go get Noah. "I love you, I'll be back soon with Noah, some boxes, and maybe some dinner."

She smiled. "My big strong man, nothing is sexier than when you take care of me." She kissed him again quickly. "Go, before we wind up naked in bed, and you're late for pick up.

 **A/N: Also, again, I doubt Olivia Benson has a drawer full of sex toys, but I'm a pleasure positive writer and therefore... drawer full of sex toys. Okay? Okay. Leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay). It may be a few days before the next chapter, I have to work on a 3 page paper due... well... tomorrow... that I haven't started.**


	19. Magnetism

**To the guest reviewer who commented about the apartment, I have something up my sleeve. Fear not. Also, in this story, Elliot does know about Olivia Ed (See Chapter 7; Too Little, Too Late). But I truly appreciate your honest review and the constructive criticism. See people, it _IS_ possible to give constructive feedback without leaving hate! **

Olivia was curled up under the covers napping when she felt lips on hers. She let out a moan and started to kiss back, waking up and pulling away, opening her eyes. "Back so soon?" She smiled and pulled the covers closer around her.

Ed stroked her hair. "Liv, you've been asleep for two and a half hours. Dinner's here, I figured I should wake you up."

She sat up and looked at her phone. "I guess I was really tired." She chuckled and leaned in and kissed him gently, before deepening it, slipping her tongue past his lips, moaning softly.

He held her close and laid her back down, continuing to kiss her, feeling her fingers on the back of his head. He broke the kiss, feeling her bit his lower lip. "As much as I love kissing you, as much as I'd love to stay in here and give you orgasm after glorious orgasm, Noah's sitting out there waiting to see his mommy." He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Come on."

Olivia smiled and sat up. She stood up and took his hand and walked out to the living room to see Noah. She smiled and leaned over and kissed his head. "Hello, my sweet boy." She hugged him. "How was school today?"

Noah looked down at his feet. "Not good."

She pulled her son closer and had him sit on her lap. "Not good? What happened?"

Noah looked up at his mother, his eyes had tears in them, and his lip was quivering. "Those boys who push everyone down pushed me down and called me a pussy," he sniffled. "What did I do, mama? Why did they push me down and call me a name?"

Olivia held him closer and looked over at her fiancé, a fury rising in her. "Ed, why didn't you come get me sooner!? My baby was hurting and you didn't think to come wake me up?"

Ed walked over. "This is the first I'm hearing of it, Olivia. I understand you're angry, but don't be angry with me for not being a mind reader. Noah didn't want to talk about it with me, I tried talking to him and getting him to tell me what was wrong. When he didn't I figured he'd tell you."

She took a deep breath and held Noah closer as he cried in her chest. "It's okay, sweet boy. Mama's here." She rubbed his back, getting him to calm down. "Do you know these boys names?"

Noah looked up at her, panicked. "They told me if I told on them they'd hurt me worse." He gripped her shirt.

Olivia stroked his hair. "I promise you, I won't let that happen. But I need you to tell me their names so I can make sure they don't hurt you anymore."

Noah lifted his eyes again. "Bobby, Josh, and Camron." He clung to her. "They're in the fifth grade."

She kissed his hair. "That helps, sweet boy." She let out a breath. "How about I put on some Mickey Mouse for you while I go talk to daddy?" She smiled and turned on the TV to cartoons and made sure he was set up before walking into the kitchen. "Ed," she moved closer to him. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you. You're right, I'm angry, and I took it out on you and I shouldn't have." She ran her hands over his arms. "Forgive me?"

Ed let out a sigh. "Of course I forgive you. How could I not?" He leaned down and kissed her lips. "I'm angry about it too, but right now we have to come up with a plan to keep our boy safe."

Olivia shook her head. "How do fifth graders even know the word pussy?" She wrapped her arms around him. "What are we gonna do, Ed?" She rested her head on his chest. "With this move we can put him in a different school, maybe private, but we have to do something until we can move him," she whispered. "I'll go with you to drop off tomorrow and have a chat with the principal. I don't have last names, but I have first names and grade level. Hopefully it'll be enough. The school has a zero tolerance policy, but I'm telling you now, if they don't kick the boys out of school I'll pull Noah out and figure out what to do about school until we can get him into a private school. Or just a different school." She sighed.

Ed kissed her temple. "We'll figure this all out, Liv. I promise." He held her close. "Let's go cuddle up on the couch and eat dinner."

She smiled and nodded. She felt her phone vibrate and she looked at Ed. "It's the realtor. Go sit with Noah, I'll take this." She answered the phone. "Benson." She listened to the realtor and she furrowed her brow. "No, both of us would be on the—" she stopped and nodded. "Yes, tell him to forget it," she hung up and rested against the counter. "That miserable son of a bitch." She ran her hands through her hair and let out a breath. She walked into the living room and sat next to Ed, she looked at him. "I have to call my ex partner once I calm down. He failed to mention that he was gifting us the apartment, but it would only be in my name."

He wrapped his arm around her. "We'll find another one," he whispered.

Olivia nodded and stood back up. "Excuse me," she walked into the bedroom and closed the door, calling Elliot. He answered and he greeted her with a standard hello. "You son of a bitch!" She seethed. "You forget to mention something?" She heard him speak. "Forget it, Elliot. Keep your apartment, lose my number." She shook her head. "Because I thought you were happy for me, Elliot! I thought you finally got over your neurotic need to constantly meddle in my personal life, but apparently you can't be happy for me. I was your best friend at one point, remember? Who screwed it up!? Are you fucking joking!?" She scoffed. "You know what, Elliot, I can't do this. Not anymore. I'm done. Take your apartment and fuck off." She hung up and let out a scream. Her chest was heaving, tears were running down her face. She walked out to the living room, wiping her eyes. "He said he doesn't trust you with me. Like I'm a—" she stopped before she cursed. "Like I'm a sports car he doesn't want Dickie taking on a joyride. He says he was protecting me." She closed her eyes and shook her head.

Ed rubbed her back and kissed her temple. "We'll find an apartment, Liv. We'll find an even better apartment."

She turned and looked at him. "Do you know what he said to me? He said that I was the one who ruined our friendship." She wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry if you heard me out here."

He held her close. "I'm right here, baby. You were angry, you're allowed to be angry."

Olivia pulled Noah onto her lap. "My boy," she whispered and kissed the top of his head.

Noah looked up at his mom. "You okay, Mommy?"

Olivia smiled and nodded. "I'm alright sweetheart." She sat there, wrapped in Ed's arms, with her arms around Noah. "You and Daddy by my side, I'm perfect."

After a few more hours they put Noah to bed and walked into their bedroom. Olivia closed the door and pushed Ed against the door, working on taking his pants off. Ed held her hands. "Liv, talk to me."

She looked at him. "I'm pissed and I don't have a speed bag and gloves. So I need you to fuck me or I'm going to fuck myself because I need something to calm me down, and nothing helps like an orgasm. So are you going to watch or are you going to let me take your pants off so you can throw me on the—"

His lips cut her off, kissing her passionately, feeling her hands at work on his pants. He broke the kiss and kissed her neck, she moaned and pushed his pants and boxers down. "You're far too overdressed for this," he whispered in her ear.

Olivia smiled and pulled his shirt over his head, groaning as she took in the sight of his naked body. She helped him undress her, pressing her bare chest against his, and moaned and let out a squeal and giggle as he picked her up, carrying her over to the bed and letting her down, pushing her down. "Oh, Ed," she moaned and ran her hands over his chest.

Ed smirked and kissed her neck and her breasts, swirling his tongue around her nipples, one at a time. "Tell me how you want me, Liv. Tell me how to help," he whispered and nudged her nose with his.

She locked eyes with him and caressed his face. "I…" She shook her head. "I wanted you to fuck me, but now, I just need to to touch me, make love to me. Keep eye contact with me. Remind me why I don't need to be mad anymore."

He caressed her face, still looking deep in her eyes, running his hand over her body gently, his fingers touching her feather lightly. He heard her gasp and he smiled, resting his forehead against hers. "Fingers?" He asked softly.

Olivia smiled and shook her head. "I need to feel you, Ed. Not your fingers, not your tongue. You." She ran her hands down his back. She felt him slowly push into her and she let out a moan, arching her back.

Ed started a slow rhythm, massaging her breasts as he continued thrusting inside of her. "I love you so much."

She bit her bottom lip, doing her best to muffle her moan while maintaining eye contact with Ed. "I love you, too, Ed. Oh, God, baby, yes!" She rested her hand over his on her breast, her breath getting heavy, her chest starting to flush. She felt her orgasm starting to build, Ed had kept the pace slow, but everything he was doing was so erotic, and she couldn't tear her eyes away from his. "Don't stop, Ed."

He groaned, not daring to break eye contact. There was something magnetic between them as they made love. He couldn't imagine looking away from her and breaking that. "Not until you come, Liv. I'm not stopping," he whispered and gently rolled her nipples between his fingers before massaging her breasts again. He heard her moan and he knew she was getting close. "Let go, Liv. I'm right here. Let me catch you."

Olivia's back arched, her toes curled and her mouth fell open as orgasm tore through her body. "Oh, baby! Oh yes!" She scratched the nape of his neck and caressed his face as she rode out her orgasm. Once she was finished, and she felt Ed's release inside of her they both leaned in and kissed the other, tears streaming down Olivia's cheeks.

Ed pulled away and saw her tears. He kissed them away and wrapped his arms around her as he rolled off of her, bringing her with him. "Better, Liv?"

She nodded and wiped at her eyes. "That was… I've never felt that before, that magnetism when we looked into each other's eyes. I'm just…" she rested against him. "Thank you."

He looked down at her. "Always." He paused for a moment. "Liv, you gotta believe me when I say, I didn't know about Noah. I would have come to get you right away, had I known. I would never try to keep anything about your son— our son, from you."

Olivia looked up at him. "I know. Ed, I was mad at the situation. I was mad that my baby boy got hurt and again, I couldn't protect him. As much as I want to arrest those kids for assault, I think the person I'm angriest at is me. And I know I can't protect him from everything bad, from all the pain he'll eventually feel, but I feel like there's something I could have or should have done. It's irrational, and untrue and I know that. I know it's a feeling, not a fact."

Ed smiled and looked down at her. "Took the words out of my mouth." He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "You feel better?"

She smiled gently. "I'm still angry, but I no longer want to haul a group of fifth graders down to central booking and I no longer want to throttle Elliot Stabler." She shook her head. "If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. I wanted so much to believe that he could be happy for me, for us. It was a naive way to think. I should have known better. And yes, I could have known. That man was my life, other than SVU, for twelve years." She sighed. "Back to the websites."

He kissed her forehead. "Men like Stabler…" he took a deep breath and chose his words carefully. "Look, Stabler and Amaro aren't all that different. They both like to save women. That's nothing against who they are or were as cops, as humans. But they are very protective of the women in their lives. For twelve years, Liv, that included you for Stabler. I can't say he that he tried to meddle in your personal life so he could have you. He may have, maybe he was genuinely looking out for you. I don't know. As hard as I tried I never succeeded in getting inside that man's head. He may have hoped that by giving you that apartment you'd leave me for him. But Liv, I gotta tell ya, I'm not goin' anywhere. You're stuck with me."

Olivia smiled and kissed him softly. "If you ever decide to go anywhere, take me with you, okay?"

Ed caressed her face. "Couldn't imagine it any other way," he whispered and kissed her again, deepening the kiss, feeling her arms around him.

 **A/N: Chapter 20 is next! We came a long way for a story that was originally meant to be a 2 shot, smutty PWP. Leave me a comment and let me know what you think. I'll update when I get the chance. Finals are coming up, and I have a crap ton of stuff to do to make sure I pass all my classes (C's get degrees!). See you on the flip side!**


	20. Setback

**Chapter 20 is here! Can you believe it? This story was supposed to be 2 chapters max, and yet here we are. This gets a touch dark, but it'll be okay.**

Olivia and Ed walked Noah to school the next morning. Olivia walked into the office and waited at the desk to be greeted. "Hi, yes, I need to speak with Mrs. Smirnova please. It's important." Olivia was led back to the principal's office after a phone call was made from the reception desk. Olivia shook the principal's hand and sat down. "Thank you for seeing me. I wish I were here under better circumstances, but it's serious."

"Of course Lieutenant, how can I help?"

She took a deep breath and looked at the woman, slightly older than Olivia herself, with blonde hair and green eyes, in a red pantsuit. "Noah came home from school upset yesterday. When I asked what happened he told me that three fifth grade boys pushed him down and called him a name I didn't even think eleven year old kids knew. He was distraught, crying, he couldn't understand what he did to warrant being pushed. When I asked their names, he told me that they threatened to hurt him worse if he told." She shook her head. "I know kids can be cruel, but this isn't just words. It's physical."

The principal nodded. "Let me guess, Bobby, Josh, and Camron?"

Olivia nodded. "I take it they have history?"

Mrs. Smirnova nodded. "They've been suspended many times. They've been warned that if they do it again, it means expulsion."

She took a deep breath. "So my son isn't going to come home with a black eye today?"

The principal leaned forward on her desk. "Once you leave, I'll call their parents and then call them down and expel them. We don't take physical violence lightly Lieutenant."

Olivia smiled. "Thank you. I hate to run, but I have an appointment at the hospital, they're going to take a look at my stitches," she shook the woman's hand again. "Thank you again." She walked out and walked over to Ed and smiled. "Our boy is safe." She let out a breath and kissed him quickly. "Let's head to the hospital, have them look at the stitches, maybe get them out, then head home for a little adult time," she whispered in his ear. She smiled and took his hand, walking out with him.

Ed drove to the hospital, his hand on her thigh. He waited as she signed herself in and then sat next to him as they waited, kissing the top of her head. "I love you," he whispered in her hair. He heard them call her name and she stood up, taking his hand and walking back to the exam room. "You alright?"

She smiled and sat on the exam table, her legs kicking gently. "A little nervous. I just want these damn things out of my hand. They're a pain in my ass. And I hate having a baseball mitt for a hand."

He moved closer to her and kissed her forehead. "Regardless of what your hand looks like, you look beautiful," he whispered and kissed her lips softly.

Olivia smiled and blushed. "You always think I'm beautiful," she caressed his face with her good hand. "And that is just one of the reasons why I love you, Ed Tucker."

Ed smiled and caressed her face gently, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I will always think you're beautiful, and gorgeous, and sexy, and alluring—"

She chuckled and touched his chest. "Those are all synonyms, my love."

He smiled. "See what you do to me, you render me stupid."

Olivia raised his chin. "Ed Tucker you are the furthest thing from stupid. Don't talk about the love of my life that way," she kissed him gently, hearing the door open. She pulled away and smiled at the doctor. "Doctor."

The doctor came in and smiled. "Let's take a look at that hand, shall we?" He unwrapped her hand. "Well, you're taking very good care of it. Any pain?"

She shrugged. "Only the first couple days when I'd forget where the cut was and accidentally put pressure on it, or bang it against something. But not since then," she smiled. "So, can I get these awful things out of my hand now?"

The doctor took another look and nodded. "We can take them out, your hand is just about fully healed. You'll need to keep a light bandage on it for a couple more days, but after that you can go bandage free, start massaging it and using a topical scar treatment, make sure you won't have an ugly mark on this hand."

Olivia smiled and nodded. "Alright, let's do it." She saw the doctor put on gloves and take out a sterile pair of scissors and forceps. Within five minutes her hand was free of stitches and he put gauze on the wound and taped it down. "That already feels better."

The doctor smiled. "Okay," he held two fingers on each hand out. "Squeeze as hard as you can." Olivia did as instructed. "It doesn't seem like you have much muscle weakness in the hand. If you do find you have some once the bandage is off, call your primary doctor and see if he'll prescribe physical therapy."

She smiled. "Thank you doctor." She got off the table and walked out with Ed, kissing him slowly. "Let's head home. I want to try something," she whispered and smiled as he opened her door.

He climbed in the driver's side and leaned over and kissed her passionately, nipping at her bottom lip as he pulled away. "I've wanted to do that all morning," he whispered.

Olivia smiled. "Get me home," she whispered back.

Ed looked at her, putting the car in gear. "What do you have up your sleeve?"

She bit her bottom lip. "I want you to bend be over the dining room table and fuck me."

He looked at her. "Liv, you sure?"

Olivia smiled. "We're not going to know if I can do it until we try. I promise I'll be vocal, I'll scream for you."

Ed looked at her out of the corner of my eye. "The second you stop being vocal, is the second I stop. Deal?"

She smiled and rested her hand on his thigh. "Deal." She gently squeezed his thigh, running her fingernails over his pants along his inner thigh.

He groaned. "Shit, baby." He stopped at a red light, feeling her touch his erection through his jeans. "Easy."

Olivia smirked. "Just making sure you're nice and hard for me." She bit her bottom lip.

Ed pulled up in front of their apartment and they walked inside together, getting on the elevator where he kissed her passionately, groaning as her hips pushed into his. "God, Liv." He heard the elevator ding and he followed her into their apartment, finding her lips as they made their way to the dining room table. He broke the kiss and turned her around, his hips pressing into hers as he kissed her neck and she let out a moan. He reached around to unbutton her pants.

She wanted this. She wanted this so bad. She let out a moan and tried to hang on, literally, to reality, gripping the edge of the table, her knuckles white. But it was fruitless, it wasn't thirty seconds later that she felt like she was outside her body, her grip on the table relaxing, all she could feel was Lewis' hands on her body, his breath in her ear. She heard Ed calling her, but he sounded so distant, and her voice was caught in her throat. He turned her around and looked at her.

He looked into her eyes that were dead, expressionless, emotionless. He noticed her breath speed up. He did all he could think to do, he wrapped her in his arms. "Liv, baby," he whispered and caressed her face. "Liv, it's me. Look at me." He heard her gasp and she met his eyes.

Olivia's eyes were wide, tears pooling at her lower lash line. "Ed?" She asked, shakily. She gripped his shirt and she fell forward and she sobbed. "I'm sorry. Ed, I'm sorry," she gasped, looking in his eyes.

Ed hugged her tight. "Shh, it's alright," he let out a breath. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

She shook her head. "I'm the one who wanted to try, Ed," she whispered, tears still streaming down her face.

He held her close. "God, that look in your eyes. It scared the hell out of me, Liv."

Olivia nodded and looked at her feet, more tears falling. "I heard you calling my name," she took a deep breath. "You sounded so far away, and I couldn't— I couldn't—" she gasped, trying to catch her breath. "I can't…"

Ed led her to the couch and sat her down. "Shh, baby, I need you to breathe." He took her hand and put it on his chest, slowly inhaling and exhaling, getting her to follow his rhythm of breathing. "That's it, in your nose and out your mouth. Nice and easy."

She calmed down and looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry. I guess I thought that because it's you and I trust you— it's been years. I like it when you fuck me from behind."

He sat next to her and wrapped her in his arms. He looked at her, a sudden realization cake to mind. "Because we're already naked. I'm not reaching around you to take your pants off." He looked at her. "Liv, it's not necessarily the sex that triggers you, it's being undressed from behind."

Olivia thought for a minute, wracking her brain, her mind going back to the granary, realizing that while he didn't know it, Ed's action mimicked Lewis's, with one crucial difference. Ed didn't mean to hurt her. Lewis did. "You're right." She looked in his eyes. "Maybe once we decide to try again, we start with our clothes off. Or at least our pants. See if that makes a difference."

Ed kissed the side of her head. "You want some tea? Some water? A nap? Something to eat? What can I do to make you feel better."

She smiled and nuzzled against him. "Come in the bedroom with me and lay down, cocoon the two of us in blankets and just hold me, okay? I know I need to eat, but right now I need to feel safe. You make me feel safe Ed."

He stood up and led her to the bedroom. "Get changed into something comfy, okay? Do you want me to give you some privacy?"

Olivia let out a breath and walked over to him. "Ed, I know you haven't seen one of my flashbacks before and I know they can be scary. Trust me, I know. But I need you to treat me like you would any other day, okay? I appreciate you wanting to do everything right so you don't hurt me, but do you know what I really need now?" She searched his eyes. "I need you to treat me like your fiancée, the mother of your child. Don't let the fact that you saw a really really bad flashback make you see me any differently. I love you and I trust you because of the fact that you don't let what he did to me change the way you view me. You don't let the scars keep you from viewing me as the most beautiful woman in the world.. Lewis doesn't get to take that. So, do me a favor." She stopped. "Don't let him."

Ed caressed her face. "I'll never see you any differently, I just don't want to make you uncomfortable. That was the only intention behind me asking."

She looked into his eyes. "I'm okay. A little shaken up. Let's change and then, like I said, I need you to hold me, okay? Make me feel safe." She she's herself of her jeans and blouse and slipped into one of his t-shirts, opting to stay in her panties she slipped under the covers and watched Ed move. Once he was under the covers she moved and rested her head on his strong chest, afraid to close her eyes, for fear of the images that would flash behind her eyelids. Fear that they would be of her two run ins with Lewis.

He ran his fingers along her arm and looked down at her. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

Olivia nodded, a tear slipping down her cheek. "I'm sorry I misunderstood why you were asking if I wanted privacy," she whispered, struggling to keep her voice even and failing miserably. She curled further into his chest as her body started to shake with sobs.

Ed wrapped her tighter in his arms and kissed the top of her head. "You don't have to hide your tears from me Liv, you'll be no less strong, no less of a warrior. I'll wipe every tear. I promise."

She peeked up at him and nodded, feeling his hand caress her face, his thumbs wiping her eyes. "I love you, Ed." She leaned in and kissed him softly, pulling away quickly, gasping for air and looking at him.

He sat up and looked at her. "Olivia, talk to me."

Olivia took a few deep breaths. "He… when I close my eyes…" she let out a breath and gripped him. "Don't let go, Ed." She curled into him. "Please, don't let go." She gripped his shirt, her knuckles white.

Ed held her tightly, close to his chest. "Talk to me, Liv. Please. Don't push me away."

She slowed her breathing. "I close my eyes and he's there… smiling that evil, menacing smile." She took a deep breath. "It hasn't been this bad since right after the granary."

He stroked her hair. "Liv," he whispered softly. "I shouldn't have—"

Olivia shook her head. "Please don't blame yourself. You didn't hurt me, you've never hurt me. It's his fault." She let out a breath. "I'm going to call Lindstrom, see if he can squeeze me in today. Do me a favor and call Lucy, see if she can take Noah for the weekend. If this is anything like it was a few years ago… I don't want to scare him. I don't want my screams in the middle of the night to scar him, I don't want him to see me like this." She looked away from Ed, feeling like a terrible mother.

Ed rubbed her back, feeling her tense up at his touch. He got up and walked around the bed and knelt on the floor in front of her. "Anything," he whispered.

She forced a smile and stood up, finding her phone and calling Dr. Lindstrom. "Hi, Dr. Lindstrom, it's Olivia Benson. I need a session," she said meekly. "Sooner rather than later." She sat on the bed. "I can't close my eyes. All I see is Lewis, and that… smile, if you can call it that," she took a deep breath. "Thank you," she whispered and hung up. She looked around before she started digging through her drawers.

He walked back in after hanging up with Lucy. "Lucy said she'd of course take Noah." He saw her rummaging through drawers. "What are you looking for?"

Olivia didn't meet his eyes, she was desperate to find whatever it was she was looking for. "Mints," she opened and closed every drawer in her bedroom. "I thought I had some in here."

Ed stood still, watching her. "Mints? What—"

She stopped and looked at him. "They help bring me out of flashbacks, they anchor me to reality. I need mints, Ed. I'm going to go out of my mind without them. Lindstrom can't get me in until 5:30, and if I don't have mints, I am going to lose it." She said, her voice raising. She stopped and her breath was heavy. She sat against the wall and ran her hands through her hair. "I didn't mean to yell," she started biting her lower lip. "I've already lost my damn mind." She took a deep breath before looking up at him. "Gum, do you have any gum?"

He looked in his jeans pocket and handed her a pack of gum. He watched her take a piece out and start chewing. He saw her visibly relax. "You okay?" He saw her look at him. "Bad question." He sat next to her and kissed the side of her head. "Lucy is going to pick up Noah and bring him here to pack some clothes and give you a hug, okay?"

Olivia nodded, still chewing the gum. "I'm sorry if this is scaring you," she whispered and looked over at him. She shook her head. "I'm so tired, all I want to do is sleep, but I can't get Lewis's face out of my head." She rested her head on his shoulder and felt his arm around her.

Ed rubbed her back. "I can deal with being a little scared. As long as you're going to be okay."

She smiled a little. "I'll be okay." She kissed his cheek. "I promise." She started to shiver. "Just don't give up on me."

He wrapped her in his arms. "Never." He stood up and held out his hand, helping her up. "Let's get some pants on you, and get under the blankets. You don't have to close your eyes, but you're shivering."

Olivia let him pull a pair of sweats onto her and lead her to the bed, letting her climb in, running to the other side of the bed and climbing in next to her, wrapping her in his arms, quickly setting an alarm just in case they both managed to fall asleep. He wasn't sure it would happen, but he wanted to be safe and have the alarm set. She felt the blankets cocoon around her and she took a deep breath. "Thank you," she whispered.

Ed kissed her forehead. "Just relax. I won't let anything happen to you okay?" He held her tight. "I'm right here." He felt her shivering stop. "I'm right here, Liv." He kept repeating the sentence to her, and he felt her breathing even out. He let out a breath and made sure to keep her wrapped in his arms, knowing it was where she felt safest. And right now, he didn't want to let her go. She'd scared him, but she knew she was far more scared than he was.

She'd been asleep for about an hour when she started thrashing and mumbling in her sleep. She finally woke up screaming. She felt Ed's hands on her back and she pulled away before looking at him. "Ed," she whispered and found herself in his arms again. She cried into his shoulder, holding onto him tightly. "I haven't had a nightmare like that in a long time. I forgot how real they can get."

He rubbed her back. "It's okay, I'm here," he whispered. He kissed her forehead. "Noah should be home soon, how about we get you something to eat?"

Olivia nodded. "I am kind of hungry." She looked at Ed and smiled. "Ed," she whispered softly before lifting her eyes to meet his. "This isn't the beginning of the end for us, is it?" She moved closer to him. "It's just… after Cassidy started seeing my flashbacks and nightmares, he got distant. I know you're not Cassidy, God I know that, I just— everyone has a breaking point."

Ed caressed her face. "Can I kiss you?" He saw her nod and he kissed her deeply, slowly, before he pulled away, heeding her left breathless. "Olivia," he shook his head. "PTSD flashbacks, nightmares, they aren't my breaking point. They won't make me run. What I'm more concerned about right now, is getting you through this," he whispered. "I need you, Noah needs you, and this little one," he whispered, resting their hands on her belly, "needs you, too." He kissed her forehead. "I swear, Olivia, I'm not going anywhere."

She smiled and gently kissed him, feeling her heart race, but not from panic. It raced the same way it did whenever they kissed. She broke the kiss and looked into his eyes. "I'm gonna be okay," she said confidently. "We'll get back to where we were just yesterday. I know it." She nuzzled his nose. "And we'll be stronger than ever."

 **It'll take some time, but they'll get there. Leave a review, here or on Twitter, (couricshargitay). And SUPRISE! I started a podcast. It's called The Hargicast, all about Mariska! Take a listen at the link in the podcast's Instagram bio (thehargicast). Alright. Enough shameless self promo, Chapter 21 coming soon!**


	21. Olivia Got Her Groove Back

**So excited about where this story came from and where it's going. I hope you all are too. Enjoy.**

Lucy brought Noah home and the adults had him pack a bag for the weekend. Once he came out of his room, Olivia got down on her knees to be at her level with him. "Okay, sweet boy, you're going to go hang out with Lucy for the weekend okay?"

Noah looked at her. "Why mommy? Did I do something wrong?"

She smiled gently, fighting the tears. "No, my love. Mommy," she stopped herself and thought for a moment. "Mommy's going through something really scary right now. It's scaring me and daddy both, and the last thing I want to do is scare you. I want to be the best mommy I can, that's why I'm going to the doctor in a little bit and hope he can help me."

The little boy looked at his mom. "You're sick?"

Olivia bit her bottom lip and shook her head. "Before you were born, a really mean man hurt mommy. And I'm having a little trouble today." She rested her hand on his cheek. "What happened to mommy was really, really bad, and sometimes I have bad dreams about it. And when I do I have a tendency to wake up thinking that this man is still here, hurting me. I don't want you to see mommy like that, you understand?" She saw him nod and she hugged him tightly. "I love you, Noah. So much." She kissed the side of his head. "You be good for Lucy, okay? I'll see you soon, we can FaceTime every night." She looked him in the eye. "You're gonna have so much fun with Lucy, you're not even gonna miss me." She smiled and stood up looking at Lucy. "Thank you, Lucy." She nodded.

Lucy hugged Olivia and smiled. "Of course," she pulled away and looked at her. "Alright Noah, let's go. What do you say we make our own pizza for dinner tonight? Sound good?"

Ed stood next to Olivia and wrapped his arm around her, kissing her temple. Once Lucy and Noah left he turned Olivia's head to face him. "Olivia, you are an amazing mother. I know how badly this hurts, especially now, sending Noah to stay with Lucy, but you're doing it for the right reasons."

Olivia nodded. "I know." She looked into his eyes. "I just feel selfish." She wiped at her eyes. "Thank you, Ed. For being here," she wrapped her arms around him, pulling away and caressing his cheek. "I love you more than I could ever put into words. You being here for me, not leaving my side when I'm at my most vulnerable…" she kissed him slowly, before pulling back. "I can't tell you how much it means to me." She smiled. "And not for nothing but I'm glad I can at least kiss you now. It was a couple of hours but it felt like an eternity." She blushed at the admission.

Ed kissed her gently. "Whenever you need me to kiss you, I'll gladly pull you in, and kiss you with all the love I have in my being." He whispered. "I'll hold you when you need me to, wipe away your tears." He smiled and rested his forehead against hers. "I'll make love to you when you want it. I'd do anything for you. Liv, I'd die for you."

She looked into his eyes. "I know, Ed. But don't die anytime soon, okay? I need you." She smiled and kissed him slowly, relishing in the feeling of his lips on hers. She pulled away and looked into his eyes. "I should get ready for my appointment." She bit her bottom lip. "He hasn't seen me in anything but work clothes or dresses. I was following the philosophy that if you put in effort to look good, you'll feel good. But today I am exhausted, and I don't even feel like changing."

He caressed her face. "Liv, he's a therapist. He's used to seeing people in worse shape than this. Be comfortable, you're going through a tough time right now and you're pregnant."

Olivia smiled and looked into his eyes. "I'm at least going to fix my hair. I somehow have sex hair without actually having had sex." She ran her hands over his chest. "Though I do miss you doing my hair for me." She smiled.

Ed kissed her forehead. "I'll do your hair for you whenever you want," he whispered, caressing her face. "Go grab me a brush," he smiled and watched her walk way, coming back with a hair brush. He led her to one of the stools by the breakfast nook. "Sit," he smiled and when she was sitting, pulled the ponytail holder out of her hair gently. "Ponytail? Bun? Braid? You tell me."

She smiled. "Ponytail," She felt his fingers on her scalp and she let out a quiet moan. She felt the brush run through her brown locks, and she noticed how he gently brushed the knots out. After he finished brushing her hair, he gathered her hair in one hand and smoothed her hair down at the top of her head with the brush with the other, then he took the elastic and secured the ponytail.

He kissed the back of her head. "Beautiful," he whispered and wrapped her in his arms. "I love that you let me do that."

Olivia turned around and smiled, looking into his eyes. "I love that you love doing it. It's soothing," she whispered and kissed him gently, getting lost in the kiss, feeling his fingers graze over her sides. "Mm," she pulled away and smiled. She looked at the clock. "We should get going," she said and stood up so they were millimeters apart, looking up at him. She felt his arms around her and she let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "I love you," she whispered.

Ed kissed her cheek and then her lips. "I love you, too," he whispered when he pulled away. "Let's go. I want to make sure you're okay," he took her hand and they both slipped into shoes before heading out, Ed driving to Lindstrom's office, getting them there about ten minutes early. "You want me to come in with you?"

She smiled. "I do, but would you be mad if I asked you to wait in the waiting room while I went in for the appointment?"

He kissed her nose. "Whatever you want." They walked up the stairs to his office and sat in the waiting room. She was restless, and he could tell, resting his hand on her shoulder.

Olivia looked at Ed and looked at the office door, waiting for it to open. Once it finally did, she saw his last patient walk out and she stood up, following Lindstrom into the room she's been in so many times before. "Thank you for squeezing me in. I know it's been a while, but um…" she felt the tears build up as she sat down. "Today was bad."

Dr. Lindstrom nodded. "Tell me what happened."

She took a deep breath, having to talk about her sex life with someone who wasn't a part of it was always awkward, but she'd talk to Dr. Lindstrom about sex before, but not sex with Ed. She felt like she was betraying Ed in some way, though she knew he'd want her to talk about it so she could get through is setback. "I got stitches out of my hand today and on the way home, I told Ed that when we got there I wanted him to bend be over our dining room table and fuck me." She met Dr. Lindstrom's eyes. "I knew there was a potential for a flashback. After the granary…" she shook her head. "But as he stood behind me, kissing my neck, reaching around to unbutton my pants, I— I dissociated." She shook her head, tears in her eyes. "We'd made a deal that when I stopped being vocal, he stopped what he was doing. And he did. He was calling my name but he seemed so far away, and I couldn't say anything. It's like my voice was gone. He turned me around and brought me back. He said the look in my eyes scared the hell of him."

"Why on the table?" Lindstrom asked.

Olivia took a deep breath. "I have a fantasy of being bent over my desk in my office." She shrugged. "I wanted to try it at home first. Now I realize that was stupid." She wiped her eyes. "Because now, even though I can close my eyes, even though I took a nap before I came in, I woke up screaming. I sent Noah to stay with our nanny for the weekend because I don't want him to hear the blood curdling screams that are likely to happen while I work through this." She looked down at her hands.

Lindstrom leaned forward. "Olivia, setbacks happen. Sex triggered yours, but I don't think this is going to last very long."

She shook her head. "That's just it. It wasn't sex that triggered it. It was him undressing me and standing behind me with a table in front of me. We…" She sighed. "We have sex from behind all time, and this has never happened," she whispered, embarrassed. "We came to the conclusion it was likely the act of him undressing me that triggered the dissociation."

"Olivia, you know that some survivors have sex the way they were assaulted—"

"To take their power back. I know. That's not what this is. I've always enjoyed it the way we have sex. I always enjoyed sex with Ed. Since we got together we've been having a lot of it. So much so, that I'm pregnant." She looked at Lindstrom.

"Well, firstly, congratulations. Secondly, tell me why you're here. Tell me what you're afraid of. I know that you know how to ground yourself, how to pull yourself back into reality. You're not here for techniques or coping skills."

Olivia wiped her eyes. "I'm afraid that this is too much for him. That eventually he'll leave. Like everyone else."

Lindstrom nodded. "Have you told him about this fear?"

"Yeah. He told me that flashbacks and nightmares weren't going to make him run. But Brian said that, too."

"You and Brian didn't break up because of your flashbacks. You and Brian broke up because you wanted different things, from the baby in your belly and the ring on your finger, it looks, at least from the outside, that you and Ed want the same things."

Olivia opened her mouth to debate, but realized she couldn't. Lindstrom was right. She smiled and nodded. "We do." She looked at him. "I um… I should go. Um, thank you again for squeezing me in. I— I should go." She got up and walked out of the room and saw Ed, a smile on her face. "Let's go home."

Ed stood up and took her hand. "Everything okay?" He asked, worried since she wasn't in there for the full hour.

She smiled and walked out to their car with him. "Everything is perfect," she wrapped her arms around him. "Ed Tucker, I love you," she whispered and kissed him passionately.

He held her hips and kissed her back. "What did he say in there?" He asked softly when he pulled away.

Olivia looked into his eyes. "The same thing you've been telling me all along. The same thing that I know is true." She smiled. "Ed, Lewis makes me crazy and the flashbacks and nightmares make me feel… less than, not worthy." She looked at Ed and smiled. "But I realized, Lewis isn't going to be our downfall. We're not going to have a downfall. We want the same things, Ed. We're deliriously in love with each other. I was projecting my own fears and insecurities onto you. I shouldn't have, I'm sorry." She ran her hands over his chest. "Let's stop and pick up some mints and get home."

Ed looked at her and caressed her face. "That fast? No more flashbacks, no more nightmares?"

She smiled and bit her bottom lip. "He reminded me that I already have the skills to work through this. He asked why I was there, and what I was afraid of. I said I was worried about you, how I don't want this to become too much, and how you said you weren't leaving."

He caressed her face. "I swear I'm not going anywhere."

Olivia nodded. "I know. I talked about how Brian said the same thing and Lindstrom reminded me that Brian and I didn't break up because of my flashbacks. We broke up because we wanted different things, and you and I— You and I want the same things. I was insecure because I thought that my flashbacks made me unlovable, and I'm sorry if that hurt you."

Ed pulled her in his arms, kissing her passionately. He felt her smile and he pulled away. "Let's get you those mints, pick up some dinner, head home and relax, okay?"

She smiled and nodded. "Sounds incredible. We have an appointment for the baby tomorrow, we can go home and make sure we're well rested. As well rested as possible." She kissed him quickly and climbed into the car.

He climbed in the drivers side and headed to a bodega near their house, he felt her hand on his thigh. "What were you thinking of for dinner?"

Olivia smiled. "Something spicy." She looked at him. "I could really go for a chicken curry right now."

Ed smiled. "Indian it is," he took her hand in his and kissed her knuckles. "You want to run in and get your mints?"

She smiled when he parked and leaned over and kissed him softly. "I'll be right out, you want anything?" She asked gently. She saw him shake his head and she smirked, getting out of the car and running inside, coming out with a bag full of things that just caught her eye that looked delicious, and her mints. She climbed in and looked at Ed. "What? I'm pregnant."

He chuckled and shook his head. "I love you, beautiful."

Olivia smirked. "I love you, too baby." She smiled and rested her hand back on his thigh. "Will you call for dinner when we get home. I want to take a shower."

Ed looked over at her, before pulling into their parking spot. "Anything for you." He leaned over and kissed her deeply, slowly. He heard her moan and he smirked and pulled away. "As much as I like hearing that moan, I want to be sure you're in the right headspace, and the best way for me to do that is for us to get upstairs, so I can get lost in your eyes."

She blushed and kissed him again quickly. "Then come inside, look into my eyes, and know that right now, in this moment, I'm okay. And all I want is to feel your lips on mine."

He met her outside the car, carrying the bag full of craving foods inside. They took the elevator up, and once they reached their apartment and he put the bag down on the counter he wrapped his arms around her, lifting her chin, looking into her eyes. "These eyes, Liv. They hold so much," he whispered and nuzzled her nose. "I don't want to trigger you again. You take the lead."

Olivia smiled and caressed his face, kissing him deeply, feeling his hands roam her body, over the fabric of her clothes. She moaned gently and ran her hands over his chest. She pulled away. "Order dinner. I just want to take a quick shower, I'll be out in fifteen minutes tops." She smiled and walked into their bathroom, shedding her clothes, looking down at her body. In all the chaos from today, she hadn't realized that she'd started growing a bump. It was small, but it was there. She ran back out and found Ed on the couch, stroking himself. She walked around and got on her knees, looking up at him. "Mind if I help?"

Ed was shocked to see her back out in the living room, more shocked to see her naked and on her knees, offering to help him get off. "I— Your kiss, it—"

She grinned and started stroking him. "It got you nice and hard, hm?" She licked around the head of his cock, looking up at him. "You're allowed to masurbate Ed. It's nothing to be ashamed of," she wrapped her lips around him, moving them over his shaft, one hand stroking him, one hand playing with his balls. She relaxed her throat, moved the hand stroking him and took him, in his entirety, into her mouth.

He moaned and gripped the ponytail that was still in her hair. "Fuck, Liv," he let his head fall back and he felt and heard her moan. The thumb of the hand on his balls pressed against his perienum, massaging it gently. He looked down at her, meeting her eyes as she let him go with a pop. "That feels incredible."

Olivia grinned, playing with her wet pussy as she played with him, moaning gently. "You like that?" She moaned. "You gonna come for me?" She asked, flicking her thumb over her clit, two fingers inside her.

Ed looked at her. "Come here," he pulled her up and kissed her, moving her hand and replacing it with his own. "You're so wet, Liv." He heard her moan her hips rocking into his hand.

She whined. "Baby, please!" She moaned. "I'm so close, I need you to let me come."

He pulled his hand away and looked into her eyes and saw she was present. "I need to see your eyes the whole time. Get on top of me."

Olivia smiled, understanding why he wanted to see her eyes. He wanted to make sure she wasn't dissociating again, like she had before. She straddled him and sunk down onto his cock. "Oh, yeah." She bit her bottom lip and moved her hips over his. Feeling his hands on her hips she stilled.

Ed smirked and thrust up into her, hearing her moans get louder and louder. "That's it, baby. Come for me."

She rested her hands on the back of the couch on either side of his head, her walls starting to milk him as her orgasm took over her body. She felt his release inside her and she moaned. "Oh, Ed." She collapsed on his chest and smiled, looking up at him and kissing him passionately. "That was amazing," she whispered.

He smiled. "You are amazing." He kissed her gently. "Pressing where you did? My god, that was incredible."

Olivia chuckled. "The perienium," she looked at him and smiled. "External prostate stimulation." She kissed him gently. "Ed, thank you for giving me that. Thank you for trusting me that I'm okay right now. It's when I fall asleep that I'm worried about."

Ed caressed her face. "Of course I trust you. I have to when it comes to this, because I'm not in your head. Until I'm sure there are no nightmares, no flashbacks, I need to see your eyes, okay. I don't— that far off look, your eyes were dead, Liv. I was terrified."

She hugged him. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry," She caressed his cheek. "As long as you need to see my eyes for, okay?"

He nodded and ran his fingers over her back. "Wait, I thought you were getting in the shower?"

Olivia laughed. "I still need to do that. I got undressed and I looked down and, I have a bump, I ran out here all excited and then I saw you—"

Ed kissed her gently, rubbing his hand on her belly, starting to swell. "That's our baby." He whispered.

She smiled and nodded. "She's in there."

He looked at her. "She?"

Olivia smiled. "Mother's hunch." She shrugged and kissed him softly. The feeling of his rough hands against her skin sending shivers down her spine. She pulled away and climbed off him. "I need to shower before we wind up having sex for the rest of the night," she smirked. "Not that I'd complain but we should try to turn in early to bed. In case I'm up every couple hours," she whispered and kissed him gently. "I'll be out soon," she whispered.

 **A/N: Keep in mind that even though survivors may have flashbacks, it doesn't mean that they no longer feel sexual desire, especially towards a person they love and trust as much as Olivia loves and trusts Ed. It depends on the survivor and the relationship. There is no one "right" way to heal. There's no one "right" way to have a sexual relationship while having PTSD.**


	22. Taking Her Power Back

**This took me a little longer than I'd have liked. It's been a rough week, and I wanted this to be right.**

Olivia rested her head on his chest, running her fingers over the bare skin. She smiled. "I'm tired, but I'm terrified to go to sleep." She let out a sob, sniffling. "Even in death Lewis has power over me. Right now." She shook her head. "I won't let him win, I won't let his memory have that satisfaction." She closed her eyes. "Ed?"

Ed kissed the top of her head, running his fingers over her bare back. "Hm?"

She bit her bottom lip. "I wish… I'm gonna go to hell for this, but I wish I killed him in the beach house when I had the chance. I beat him because he baited me. But before, I had my cocked gun to his head. All I had to do was pull the trigger. And I couldn't. When he told me I didn't have the balls, I grabbed that metal bar, and I beat him. I was angry, I was hurting. I wanted him to feel even an ounce of the pain he inflicted on me." She shook her head. "I became a woman I didn't recognize. I thought I killed him. He died four times in the ambulance, did you know that? I wish they would have just let him die." She wiped her eyes again, letting out a breath.

He listened to her and kissed her forehead. "I wish they would have, too." He looked down at her. "And I wasn't in that beach house. I didn't take your statement. But I did after the granary. I wish they'd have let him die in that ambulance so you wouldn't have had to go through the trauma at the granary."

Olivia smiled gently. "I don't have nightmares of the beach house anymore. Just… just the granary. I feel the cool metal of the revolver, and every time I pull the trigger I wake up." She closed her eyes. "I relive that game of Russian Roulette. I thought about trying to shoot him. One bullet… he'd have killed me and done god knows what to that little girl." She stopped and felt tears run down her cheeks. "I wouldn't let him kill me. I'd rather unwillingly shoot myself in the head then give him the sick satisfaction of having shot the bullet that killed me. I didn't want to leave him with Amelia."

Ed pulled her closer. "Hey, you're safe now. Amelia's safe. You went with your gut, and if there is one thing I've learned about Olivia Benson over the past, what, fifteen years? It's that your gut is seldom wrong."

She smiled and nodded. "We just made love and I'm laying here talking about the worst days of my life." She rested her forehead on his chest. "I'm sorry," she looked up at him. "Forgive me?"

He caressed her face. "You have nothing to be forgiven for. I'll always listen to you. No matter what."

Olivia smiled and leaned in and kissed him softly. "You are the best man on the face of this Earth, Ed Tucker."

Ed smiled and lazily stroked her bare back. "You're the single most incredible human being on Earth," he looked down at her and kissed her again. "You want to try to sleep?"

She nodded. "I'm so tired Ed," she whispered. "Hold me," she whispered. "Don't let me go." She felt her eyes drift shut and her breathing started to even out. Within minutes she was fast asleep, and Ed wasn't far behind her. She started to whimper and move slightly in her sleep, alerting Ed. He started to gently rub her back holding her tighter.

"I'm right here," he whispered, over and over, and soon she relaxed. He kissed her forehead and held her closer. "It's okay now. You're okay."

Olivia nuzzled further into him, slowly waking up. She looked up at Ed and smiled. "What time is it?" She asked, her voice filled with sleep.

Ed looked over at the clock. "Three in the morning," he whispered and caressed her face. "You alright?"

She smiled and found his eyes in the dark. "Tired," she murmured. "What are you doing up?"

He searched her eyes. "You were whimpering," he whispered and pulled her closer. I held you tighter and rubbed your back, hoping that it would stop your nightmare," he whispered. "I wasn't sure, but I figured it was worth a shot."

Olivia caressed his face. "God, I love you," she whispered and kissed him softly, pulling away and finding his eyes again before kissing him again more passionately, wrapping her leg around his waist, moaning gently.

Ed kissed her back and rolled them over so she was on her back, he kissed her neck and heard her moan. He ran his hands over her sides. "You are so sexy," he whispered. "God, I want you," he whispered and kissed over her chest, flicking his tongue over her nipples.

She gasped. "Fuck!" She arched her back. "I need you, Ed." She pulled him in for a kiss. "Please baby." She begged, feeling his lips move down her body, she sighed. "Oh, yeah, baby." She smirked and bit her bottom lip.

He smirked. "Easy," he whispered. "I'm going to make this last." He kissed her inner thighs, opening her legs a little further. "Just relax, and let me pleasure you."

Olivia smiled and fell back onto the pillow, groaning as she felt one finger stroking her clit. "Oh, that feels good," she arched her back.

Ed smirked. "Relax," He whispered and continued to stroke her clit very softly with just one finger. "I'm going to make you come with one finger on your clit, and it's going to blow your mind. But you need to relax. Trust me."

She closed her eyes. "Implicitly." She let out a breath and completely relaxed, became completely vulnerable, and she felt her body respond in a way she didn't realize was possible, her orgasm starting to build, but more than usual before she would usually explode. "Shit, Ed!"

He smiled and kissed her inner thigh. "You're so close baby. This is going to be the most powerful orgasm you've ever had. Let go, Olivia. Relax and let it take over your body."

Olivia moaned, a moan that turned quickly into a scream as her orgasm took over her body. She squeezed her breasts and arched off the bed. "Jesus Christ!" She fell back into the bed. Spent. "My God," she whispered and pulled him up and kissed him passionately. "How did you do that?"

Ed grinned. "You, and I, we overstimulate your clit. Whenever we're having sex, I rub your clit, I suck on it, all these things, not to mention the vibrators. This takes a little longer, but doing it this way gets the entire vagina engorged with blood, and gives you an earth shattering orgasm."

She grinned. "Ed Tucker teaching me something." She smirked and kissed him, whispering against his lips. "I like it." She wrapped her arms around him. "You always know how to make me come, how to give me mind blowing orgasms, don't get me wrong, but that… shit."

He blushed and smiled. "I always want to make sure that you're having the best orgasms possible, that I'm giving you all the pleasure in the world." He kissed her softly.

Olivia kissed him back. "Mission accomplished," she whispered and smiled. "I knew about being aroused, but what you just did takes arousal to a whole other level." She wrapped her arms around him. "That orgasm is the best one I've ever had."

Ed smiled. "There's more where that came from," he whispered and kissed her softly. He heard her moan and he pulled away gently. "Tell me what you want right now."

She smirked. "Right now?" She flipped them and straddled him. "Right now I want to ride you," she leaned in closer to whisper in his ear. "So fucking hard, baby." She smirked and moved back and guided herself onto his hard cock. She moaned and started to ride him fast and hard. "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah." She gasped, falling forward as she ground her hips into his. "Oh, Ed," she whispered and smiled.

He groaned and ran his hands down her back, spanking her perfect ass. Her moan filled the room and he smirked. "Yeah baby, moan for me."

Olivia sat back upright, her head falling back and her breasts bouncing as she continued riding him. Her moans got louder and closer together. "Ed! Oh my God, I'm gonna come. Fuck me, baby."

Ed pushed himself up to a sitting position, playing with her breasts, pulling her nipples into his mouth as he spanked her again, her moan turning to a scream as he felt her walls contracting around him, milking him. "Fuck, you're so sexy."

She was coming hard and she pulled him in for a passionate kiss, biting his bottom lip, feeling his release inside her. "Oh, fuck yeah," she smirked and rested her forehead against his, coming down from her high. "I love riding you, and it's even better when you spank me," she bit her bottom lip and smiled. "I love the way you fuck me Ed." She kissed him gently.

He kissed her back and smiled. "I love getting to be the one to make you scream," he whispered and kissed her neck.

Olivia caught a glimpse of the clock and kissed him again, realizing they'd been playing and fucking for a good hour and a half now. "We need to get some more sleep," she murmured against his lips.

Ed smirked and laid down, pulling her with him, and rolling them onto their sides, Olivia letting out a small moan when he slipped out of her. "You gonna be able to sleep?"

She laughed and kissed his nose. "You wore me out, I think I'll be okay." She ran her hands over his chest. "What about you? Will you be able to sleep?" She asked gently. "Honestly?"

He looked at her. "I'll probably fall asleep. Not into a deep sleep, but I'll sleep."

Olivia looked at him, a worried expression on her face. "Ed, baby, you need to get a good night's sleep too. I can go sleep in Noah's room."

Ed shook his head. "Over my dead body. Olivia if you go sleep in Noah's room I'm following you. Right now, especially when you sleep, you need me. So my sleep isn't as deep as usual, I'll be fine, Liv. I promise."

She caressed his face. "You are such a good man, Ed Tucker. I love you immensely." She kissed him once more, softly, settling against his chest, half on top of him, and he wrapped the blankets around them. She smiled and closed her eyes. "Goodnight."

He kissed the top of her head. "Goodnight, Liv," he whispered, holding her tightly, falling asleep soon after she did.

Olivia stirred as the sun came up, slinking out of Ed's arms, putting on his shirt that they'd discarded the night before. She walked into the kitchen and pulled the jar of pickles out of the refrigerator and opened it, taking a spear out and eating it, letting out a quiet moan. She heard Ed walk in and she smiled. "Hello love," she whispered and turned around.

Ed walked over and kissed her forehead. "You're up early," he noted, his voice groggy.

She felt a shiver run down her spine, his voice first thing in the morning was enough to make her come completely undone. "Baby was hungry," she whispered and raised her eyes to meet his.

He ran his hand down her back. "You okay?"

Olivia bit her bottom lip. "Your voice when you just wake up is even deeper and more raspy than usual and it just—" she stopped herself and smiled. "Mm," she gave him a quick peck on his lips.

Ed put his finger under her chin, tilting it up, kissing her softly, drawing a moan from her lips. "What time's the OB appointment?" He asked against her lips.

She let her mouth fall open. "Eleven thirty," she responded in an aroused whisper, craving more of his kisses.

He smiled and caressed her face, she closed her eyes and nuzzled into his hand. "We have time for some fun then," he whispered and kissed her again, pulling her body closer to his.

Olivia wrapped her arms around him and moaned softly, her hands running over his chest, grabbing his ass. "Take me," she whispered and took the shirt off over her head, leaving her naked in the kitchen. "Take me," she turned so her back was against his chest arching her back and grinding her ass against him, looking back at him.

Ed gripped her hips and watched her ass. "My God, you're perfect," he groaned. "That feels incredible Liv," he whispered, moving with her, causing her to moan out.

She turned around and pulled his boxers down before turning back around and continuing to grind into him. "Get inside me," she whispered and reached back to grab the back of his head. "Ed, please." She begged him, she was so aroused it was bordering on uncomfortable, and she desperately needed a release.

He took her other hand and brought it to meet her other one. He kissed her neck and ran his fingers through her folds, groaning when he felt how wet she was. "Fuck," he whispered in her ear. He pushed into her slowly, hearing her groan. "Oh, yeah, baby." He started thrusting into her slowly.

Olivia moaned and met his thrusts. She let her hands fall, massaging her own breasts, her eyes closing. "Oh, yes," she bit her bottom lip. "Mm, harder." She smirked. She felt him walk her forward towards the counter, still buried inside her. He maneuvered her body so one leg was resting on the counter, he started pounding into harder and she let out a gasp. "Oh, fuck, Ed!" She sighed and looked over her shoulder at him, her mouth open. "Don't stop." Her breath was heavy and her eyes closed.

Ed groaned as he kept his pace and kept thrusting into her hard. Her moans were getting louder and higher pitched. "You're getting so close," he said gruffly in her ear. "Come on, Liv. Come on my cock."

Her eyes rolled back as her head fell forward. She felt his lips on the back of her neck. He was hitting all the right spots inside of her. "Ed!" She cried out as her orgasm both took over her body and gushed out of her, pushing his cock out of her pussy. She was panting, and he lifted her up onto the counter and had her sitting, facing him, lifting both feet onto the counter. She felt him start to lick her clean and she moaned gently. He wasn't being rough, his tongue was light, he was bringing her down. "Oh, baby."

He smiled and once he realized her breathing had returned to normal he kissed up to her lips. "I'm going to clean up, you stay up here. I don't want you slipping and falling." He whispered against her lips.

Olivia looked at him and realized he was still hard. "If you hurry, I'll finish you off. I'll go down before your cock does," she smiled.

Ed smirked and stood between her legs. "You don't want to watch me get myself off?" He asked, kissing her gently.

She smiled and kissed him back. "I didn't realize that was an option," she bit her bottom lip. "As long as you either come in my mouth or on my body somewhere, I'll let you pick where."

He smirked, and grabbed his cock, looking into her eyes as he stroked it. He groaned and held eye contact with her. "God, Liv," he saw the way she was looking at him. "Keep looking at me like that and this'll be quick."

Olivia smirked and dropped her feet, crossing her legs, looking at him, her eyes hooded with arousal, her hands resting on the counter. "You're so sexy, Ed. Watching your stroke you cock," she inhaled through her teeth and bit her bottom lip. "Mm. And watching the muscles in your forearm contract as you grip it harder. It's enough to drive a girl crazy with desire." She massaged her breasts, playing with her nipples, seeing his ab muscles contract. "That's it baby, make yourself come for me."

Ed groaned. "Spread your legs, baby." He watched her spread her legs and rested back on her hands. He stepped closer and then shot his release all over her pussy. He heard her moan and watched her take her index finger on her left hand, scooping some of his come up and licking it off her finger. He groaned.

She smiled. "Mm, so good." She rubbed the remaining come over her pussy, rubbing her clit in the process. "Oh, yeah." She bit her bottom lip and let her head fall back. She felt him suck on her nipples and she gasped, opening her eyes, looking down at him, her mouth hanging open as she continued rubbing her clit. "Oh, my God!" She smiled, resting back on her elbow as she let the pleasure she was receiving from Ed and her own fingers. Her chest flushed as his tongue swirled around her nipples, slowly, one at a time. Her breath got heavier. "Oh, Ed." Her hips rocked into her hand. "Oh baby, I'm gonna come again."

He smirked and looked up at her. "So come," he said as he kissed down her body, moving her hand, leaning in and wrapping his lips gently around her clit, his tongue flicking over it. He heard a string of expletives fall from her lips as she came hard. He brought her down then kissed her inner thighs, seeing that she was gasping for air. "You okay?"

Olivia smiled. "Perfect." She ran her fingers through her hair. "I can't move, but I'm perfect," she laughed and closed her eyes. "That was absolutely incredible."

Ed smiled and picked her up and carried her to the couch, laying her down. "Relax," he whispered. "I'm going to go clean up our little mess," he smirked and kissed her softly. He moved back to the kitchen and cleaned up before going back into the living room, sitting next to Olivia. "Baby," he whispered, noticing she'd fallen asleep. He leaned forward and kissed her gently, pulling away when she started kissing back. "Rise and shine."

She smiled. "Guess that took more out of me than I thought." She giggled and took his hand. "I love you," she whispered and sat up.

He caressed her face. "I love you, too." He kissed her forehead. "Baby, do you realize what we just did?"

Olivia raised her eyebrow. "You mean other than make me come so hard I couldn't move?"

Ed chuckled and nodded. "Other than that." He caressed her face. "I was behind you with a hard surface in front of you. I know it's not exactly how you wanted. But it's a start."

She smiled, feeling tears in her eyes. "I was so in the moment, I didn't even realize—" she hugged him. "It may not have been exactly what I wanted yesterday, Ed. But my God, that was even better than I ever could have imagined."

He smirked. "I'm glad you liked it so much," he whispered and kissed her softly. "We should get in the shower." He leaned in and whispered in her ear. "We smell like sex." He chuckled. "Insanely hot sex, but sex, none the less."

Olivia smiled and kissed him gently. "Only if you wash my hair." She whispered.

 **A/N: So, I hope you liked this. The next chapter is coming soon, and we'll see baby Tucker again! In the meantime, how about you leave a review? Here or on Twitter (couricshargitay). See you in Chapter 23!**


	23. Strange Cravings

**Alright, here's 23. Enjoy.**

Olivia sat with Ed in the exam room at the doctor's office, her hand in his. "I can't wait to hear our baby's heartbeat again," she smiled and kissed him slowly.

Ed smiled. "I still can't believe we're having a baby." He caressed her face. He kissed her again. They'd been so wrapped up in the kiss, they didn't hear the door open and the doctor come in.

The doctor smiled, not wanting to stare, not wanting to startle them, she put on her gloves, only to turn around and see that they'd broken apart. "I swear the two of you are my favorite." She saw Olivia blush. "How are your pregnancy symptoms coming along?"

Olivia smiled. "Honestly, the only difference I've seen has been the cravings, and an uptick in my sex drive," she looked at Ed. "The past couple days have been rough, emotionally, but we're getting through it." She kissed Ed's knuckles.

The doctor sat on her stool. "Pregnancy related emotions?" She asked gently, wanting to make sure her patient wasn't struggling too much with the hormone changes.

Olivia shook her head. "Not technically. Actually, not at all. We went to try something… sexually, and it triggered a flashback. Lewis," she said and nodded. "We've been working it out as best we can. I went to see my shrink. Now I'm more concerned about waking up in a nightmare and my son hearing me scream."

Ed kissed the side of her head, rubbing her back. He saw her look at him and he kissed her cheek. "I love you," he whispered in her ear.

The doctor smiled sadly and nodded. "Okay, well, let's hear baby's heartbeat. Give you something happy." She saw Olivia lay back, and lift her shirt. "Getting a bit of a bump." She saw Olivia smile. "Okay, a little cold," she said, squirting some of the gel onto her stomach before running the wand over her belly, the heartbeat filling the room. "Strong heartbeat."

Olivia smiled and looked at the picture on the screen, tears in her eyes. "She's beautiful," she whispered, wiping her eyes.

The doctor looked at her. "She?"

Olivia shook her head. "Just a hunch." She looked over at Ed and smiled at him. "We made a baby. Our love, Ed." She was in awe and she closed her eyes. "Our love made a baby."

Ed kissed her and rested his forehead against hers. "I can't wait to meet her." He whispered and looked back at the screen.

The doctor took pictures and printed them out, before wiping the gel from her belly. "Now, before we let you go for today, I do want to talk to you about amniocentesis. You're over thirty five, that alone puts your child at risk for chromosomal and genetic defects. An amnio will let us know if we're looking at anything like that. There's a small risk for miscarriage, but I truly think it's your best option."

Olivia looked at Ed, sitting up. "What do you think?"

Ed helped her sit up. "I don't know, I'm inclined to do what the doctor thinks is best."

Olivia nodded. "Me too," she looked at the doctor. "Let's do it." She nodded.

The doctor smiled softly. "We'll schedule it for your next visit." She gently rested her hand on her patient's shoulder. "It'll be okay Olivia. I'm very good at what I do." She nodded. "I don't want you to worry about it. I've done so many of these I could do a successful amnio in my sleep, okay?"

Olivia smiled tightly. "Two weeks?" She stood up and held her hand out, choosing not to dwell on the anxiety bubbling up inside of her. She shook the doctor's hand and walked out to schedule the appointment.

Ed looked at the doctor. "Thank you, I'll—" he shook his head. "She's anxious. I'll keep an eye on her."

The doctor nodded. "Try to keep that anxiety down as much as you can for her."

Olivia waited for Ed and smiled when she saw him. "Ready?" She took his hand and they walked out. "What were you talking to the doctor about?"

Ed looked at her. "You, the fact that we can both tell you're anxious about this. She told me to try to keep your anxiety low."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around him once they got back to the car. "You always keep my anxiety at a minimum." She ran her hands over his chest. "I'm anxious because I never thought I could get pregnant. Not after—" she shook her head. "I know that this is what we need to do to make sure our baby is healthy. Especially given my age. But they're going to stick a giant needle into my uterus. It's a little scary." She shrugged. "I'll be okay. I promise. Let's go home. I'm a little hungry, and I think we should look at some more apartments."

He held her close and kissed her gently. "Let's go get some food in your stomach, and we'll continue our search for an apartment."

Olivia smiled. "I have a craving for mac and cheese and pickles." She looked in Ed's eyes and smiled.

Ed chuckled. "Pregnancy cravings." He kissed her temple. "Come on, let's head home." He helped her into the car. He got in the driver's side and started driving home. He rested his hand on her thigh, looking over at her. "You're beautiful."

She blushed and held his hand. "You make me feel beautiful," she kissed his knuckles. "Even when I don't feel it on my own, just the way you look at me, I feel like the prettiest woman in the world. I tell you this all the time, but I can't tell you how much it means to me."

He pulled up outside their house and turned her face towards him. "You are the most beautiful woman in the world." He leaned in and kissed her deeply.

Olivia moaned and broke the kiss. "I love you," she whispered and smiled. "Let's go inside. Mama and baby are hungry," she kissed him quickly and got out of the car, waiting for him. They walked inside together taking the elevator up, she smiled feeling his hand on her ass. She looked up at him and smiled. "Soon." She whispered. "Let me eat something. I have more than one craving."

Ed smirked as they got inside the apartment, kissing her passionately. "We could both eat," he whispered in her ear.

She chuckled and ran her hands over his chest. "I think that's a choking hazard," she laughed and kissed him again, biting his lower lip as she pulled away. "I'm going to go make myself some mac and cheese." She caressed his face and walked into the kitchen.

He followed her and turned her around. "Go relax. I'll cook. You need your rest."

Olivia smiled and kissed him slowly, running her hands over his chest. "I'm going to go look on my ipad at more apartments." She pulled away and turned so her ass was against him, looking over her shoulder. "See you soon, handsome," she winked.

Ed spanked her and she gasped. "Go sit while I cook or I'm going to have to fuck you before lunch," he whispered and heard her moan.

She bit her bottom lip and smiled. "You can fuck me all you want after lunch." She smiled and walked into the bedroom and grabbed the iPad and moved to sit on the couch, opening the iPad and starting to search for apartments in Manhattan that were at least three bedrooms with a breathtaking master bath. She found a few contenders and she walked into the kitchen and took out the orange juice and a glass, pouring herself some, standing next to Ed and smiling. "I found a few I like. I'll be interested to see what you think." She kissed his cheek. "How's lunch coming?" She asked, putting the glass down and wrapping her arms around his arm as he cooked.

He looked at her. "Just about done. I don't know if you want the pickles cut up, but if you want to cut those up, you'll be done just as the mac and cheese is done, the pasta's all cooked."

Olivia smiled and grabbed the pickles out of the refrigerator and took a couple of spears out of the jar, cutting them into bite sized pieces. Ed finished making the mac and cheese and put a bowl of the pasta in front of her and she put the pickles on top, mixing it up. She took a bite and let out a moan. "So good." She leaned against the counter. "Mm, do you want to see the apartments," she asked taking her bowl into the living room. She sat down and smiled when he sat next to her. She picked up the iPad and smiled. "Do you want to see my favorite first?"

Ed took a bite of his own, pickle free, mac and cheese. "I want to see them in whichever way you want to show them to me."

She smiled and scrolled to her absolute favorite. "It's a little bigger than we need, but this gives us a guest room, a gorgeous kitchen, and a huge master bath." She scrolled through the pictures. "Plus, we could buy it. We'd have to take out a mortgage, but as opposed to just renting it? We can do whatever we want, paint the walls whatever color we want." She smiled. "What do you think?"

He looked through the pictures. "This might be perfect. That bathtub," he whispered in her ear. He met her eyes and kissed her quickly. "See if we can get in to look at it, make sure your former partner doesn't own the property, and we'll work on a mortgage."

Olivia put her bowl down, put his down and moved the iPad and wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. "You really like it?" She asked, kneeling on the couch. "You're not just saying that you like it to appease me?"

Ed pulled her into his lap. "Have I ever lied to you?"

She smiled. "Once, and you sucked at it." She laughed and kissed him softly. "I just want you to love it, I want it to be ours, not just mine."

He caressed her face. "Olivia I wouldn't care if we lived in a rundown Studio apartment, as long as I'm with you, I'll love it. It's not the walls, the floor, the ceilings, the furnishings that make it a home. It's the love inside. And anywhere you are, that's home, baby."

Olivia caressed his face. "I love you so much," she whispered and kissed him again. She broke the kiss and nuzzled his neck. "Let me email this realtor, see if we can get in to see the apartment, then I want you to bring me into the bedroom and make love to me," she whispered and kissed him one more time, grabbing the iPad and typing out an email, finishing her lunch. Once she sent the email she stood up and took her shirt off. "Meet you in the bedroom," she smirked and started walking into the bedroom, unhooking her bra, tossing it over her shoulder, having it land on the arm of the sofa next to him. He stood up and rushed back to the bedroom to see her standing in front of him, naked. "You're overdressed." She grinned and raised an eyebrow.

Ed's eyes raked over her body, walking over to her and wrapping his arms around her. "I'm going to show you just how much I love you." He took his shirt off over his head and dropped his pants and boxers, kicking them off.

She smiled and closed the space between them pressing her chest against his, letting out a moan, walking back to the bed, laying down. "Come and get me. Make love to me." She arched her back, looking over at him.

He smiled and climbed on top of her on the bed, kissing her passionately feeling her hand on the back of his head, her other hand caressing his face. He broke the kiss, both of their breathing was heavy, their chests heaving. They smiled at each other and shared a laugh. "I love everything about you, Liv."

Olivia smiled and got comfortable underneath him, groaning gently. "You make me whole, Ed. You help me put the broken parts back together," she felt her lip tremble, tears in her eyes. "Before you, I may have looked whole, but there was always something missing. You're my missing piece." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "And now I'm crying," she felt tears start to run down her face, looking away from him.

Ed wiped her eyes and directed her eyes back to meet his gaze. "Olivia Margaret Benson , you are not, nor have you ever been broken. Everything in your life meant to break you, made you stronger and stronger. You are without a doubt the strongest person I have ever met. Tears and all. Your vulnerability is your strength. Everything about you makes me fall in love with you over and over again, and if I have to tell you everyday for the rest of our lives this exact thing, I will. Because it is absolutely the truth." He rolled off of her and wrapped her in his arms. "And I will hold you while you cry, I will be right here for you. Always."

She curled into his chest and cried, holding him as tight as she could. "Please don't ever let go." Her sobs wracked her body. It was a culmination of the fact that she was exhausted, hormonal, scared, and she wasn't sure how to handle all of the factors overwhelming her at once. "I can't stop," she cried and felt her breath becoming short.

He sat up and rested his hand on her chest, taking her hand and placing it on his. "I'm right here, Liv. Take a deep breath." He took deep breaths and had her breathing mirror his. "That's it. Just breathe." He felt her fell into him. "Talk to me."

Olivia looked at him. "I'm tired, I'm scared. I'm hormonal," she shrugged. "I love you for being here for me I'm just… I'm overwhelmed."

Ed held her tightly. "Okay, hormonal, I can't help. Tired we can take care of in a minute. Why are you scared, baby?" He asked, hoping he could help her.

She shook her head. "It's… it's stupid." When she realized he wasn't letting it go so easily, she sighed. "I've never carried a baby further than twelve weeks." She said and looked into his eyes. "I've never given birth, I've never parented a child from infancy, Ed. What if I mess up? What if I turn into my mother?" She asked and sighed. "I'm terrified, Ed. I'm giving birth for the first time and I'm pushing fifty. You heard the doctor, my age puts the baby at risk for all kinds of chromosomal abnormalities and genetic disorders. Our baby could be sick and it could all be my fault," she felt tears well up in her eyes again.

He kissed the top of her head. "Okay, so you've never been through labor and delivery, that's scary, the unknown is scary. You didn't get Noah when he was a baby baby, he was what, a year?" He rubbed her back. "Liv I'm terrified too. I think that's half of being a parent is being scared for your kids. I'm scared for what you're dealing with now. That's why we have the amnio, so we're prepared for anything that may happen. And you, Olivia, will be nothing like your mother. I know you too well to know you don't have any part of you that could hurt a child, physically or otherwise. And if our child is sick, we'll figure it out. You figured out what to do with Noah and his immune system, his breathing. Look at him now, he's an incredible kid. We'll figure it all out."

Olivia looked at him. "What if we can't, Ed. What if it's something fatal? Or something where all our child will know is pain?" She took a deep breath. "I'm catastrophizing aren't I?"

Ed smiled and rubbed her back. "You are. A little. Look, chances are, our baby is going to be fine. He or she will be perfect regardless of what that amnio shows us. But wouldn't you rather know now so you have time to prepare in case our baby needs something more than we were planning for?"

She smiled softly. "Yeah." She took a deep breath. "Hold me while I sleep? That just took a lot out of me."

He kissed her forehead and laid down, pulling her with him. "For as long as you need me to, Liv."

Olivia smiled. "Forever. Hold me forever, don't let go," she whispered and closed her eyes, surrendering to her exhaustion.

 **A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! I probably won't be updating for at least a week (depending on how long it takes me to get all my assignments done), it's Finals week and I have assignments up the wazoo. Please leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay) preferably more than asking where the next chapter is. I love feedback! Anyway, pray I get my assignments done quickly and I'm not too creatively burnt out by the end of it. It's a lot of writing in the next few days.**


	24. Growing Pains

**I'm officially done with all of my work for the semester, which means I was finally able to finish up this chapter that is quite long. But I love how it turned out. So, without further ado, Chapter 24.**

A few months had passed and Olivia's nightmares subsided, but new symptoms in her pregnancy had started. She was nearing her seventh month and she was miserable, the pain from her baby growing in her belly that reached her back, her hips and her pelvic bone were bordering on unbearable, she was more tired than she had been, but did her best to push through it to get into work to run the squad from a desk, but between the pain and her latest symptom of fainting, she was more of a risk than a benefit. Lately, her pain had been particularly bad, so she went on maternity leave earlier than she would have liked and she spent her days in bed with her new best friend, her pregnancy pillow. She felt miserable, she felt guilty that she felt miserable. Ed had set up a TV in their bedroom, all the while he was packing up the apartment. They found their dream apartment on Riverside Drive, and they'd been approved for a mortgage. "Ed," she called weakly, smiling when he came into their bedroom.

Ed walked over and kissed her forehead. "How's your pain, baby?"

She smiled and took his hand in hers and looked up at him. "It's pretty bad." She wiped her eyes, tears had started to fall. "I hurt so much, and I feel awful that I feel so miserable. This is all I've ever wanted, Ed, I am so grateful and so happy but I feel so miserable." She felt his hand caress her cheek. "I'm sorry you're having to do so much on your own," she murmured.

He wiped her eyes, running his fingers over her arm. "Don't worry about it. I'm not totally alone. I have Noah helping out with things that aren't too heavy, and Fin and Carisi have stopped by to help. I'm not doing much on my own, other than taking care of my beautiful fiancée, who is growing our baby inside of her."

Olivia looked up at him. "Beautiful? Where are are you hiding her?" She smiled gently. "I'm sorry," she kissed his knuckles. "It's hard to feel beautiful when I feel terrible and I'm as big as a house," she said and slowly sat up, wincing. "I love you, Ed." She leaned in and kissed him softly. She pulled away and caressed his face. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Ed looked at her, exhaustion and pain were evident on her face. "For what, beautiful?"

She bit her bottom lip. "We haven't had sex in a month." She wiped her eyes. "I want to. God, I want to. But I'm in so much pain I can't—"

He cut her off with a kiss. "I want to, too. But right now, you and this little girl," he said, his hand resting on her baby bump that was now pretty big, "come first." He kissed her gently. "I don't want you in any more pain." He tucked her hair behind her ear. "How about you lay back down for an hour while I finish up what I'm doing and make you some lunch and then I'll rub your back a little, try and ease the pain on those muscles?"

Olivia nodded and accepted help laying back down. She snuggled up with her pregnancy pillow again, feeling a blanket cover her. She pulled him down and kissed him softly. "I love you," she whispered against his lips.

Ed smiled and kissed her again. "Rest," he whispered. "I'll see you in a little bit with lunch," he whispered and kissed her forehead.

She smiled and got as comfortable as she could, closing her eyes. She had a couple days until she went back to the doctor, and she was hoping she could give her ideas as to what she could do. She was willing to try anything. She felt herself fall asleep, her hand resting on her belly. She woke up when she felt Ed's lips on her forehead. "Hey, you."

He brushed her hair back. "Hey, beautiful. You hungry?"

Olivia smiled. "I could eat. I should eat. Help me sit up?" She took his hand and pulled herself up. "Oh, my back," she groaned and rested her forehead on his. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Ed touched her cheek. "That's it baby. In your nose and out your mouth." He saw her eyes open. "You okay?"

She nodded. "It'd be wonderful if I could breathe through my nose." She said, miserable. "What's for lunch?"

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "I made a spinach salad with chicken, hard boiled eggs, and a balsamic vinaigrette. You got your protein and your iron, and I added some cheese to make sure you have some calcium, too."

Olivia looked at him and cried. "I'm sorry," she wiped her eyes. "I'm okay, it's just you're so wonderful and I'm so hormonal." She smiled and kissed him softly. "I love you, Ed Tucker. More than anything."

Ed wiped her eyes again, and looked into her eyes. "I just want to make sure my girls are healthy." He kissed her forehead. "Have you given any thought to what we should name our precious angel?"

She smiled and started eating the salad he made for her. "I was thinking we name her Caroline. After your mom. I know I haven't had the opportunity to meet your mom yet, but I'm hoping that'll change soon, and any woman who raises such an incredible man like you is an incredible woman herself."

He caressed her face. "I think that's a wonderful idea." He kissed her nose. "What about a middle name?"

Olivia bit her bottom lip, taking some salad onto her fork. "Caroline Willow?" She asked, taking a bite of her salad.

Ed smiled. "I like it. I love my mother but we were not about to name our daughter Caroline Edna."

She chuckled. "I'd have taken that over giving her a middle name from my mother. Serena wasn't going to be anywhere in our daughter's name."

He sat next to her and kissed her neck softly, hearing her moan. "Good salad or—?"

Olivia smirked. "Your lips feel so good," she whispered. "The salad is amazing, but not having been touched in a month, your kiss has my body in overdrive."

Ed smiled and moved to her ear. "Eat up." He smirked. "Maybe an orgasm after you eat will help ease your pain. I won't touch you anywhere you don't want me to. I'll be gentle, and if it hurts too bad I'll stop."

She turned to him and smiled. "Maybe just suck on my nipples. Not too hard, but just enough so I feel it. That'll have me coming in no time flat," she grinned.

He smiled and moved her salad out of the way. "Why make you wait? I should finish what I started then shouldn't I?" He smirked and pulled her camisole down, exposing her breasts. "God you're beautiful," he whispered and kissed her chest, looking up into her eyes as he took one of her nipples in his mouth, lightly sucking on it, flicking his tongue over it, massaging her other breast with his hand. He heard her moans and he switched to do the same thing on the other breast.

Olivia moaned and gripped his hair. "I'm so fucking wet baby. Don't stop, make me come." She let her head fall back and she moaned again and closed her eyes.

Ed smirked and kissed up to her neck, massaging both breasts in his hands. "You like that baby? Scream my name," he whispered in her ear.

Her eyes rolled back into her head, moaning loudly. "Ed, baby." Her hips moving gently into the bed. "Oh, God Ed!" She screamed, her orgasm drawing closer and closer. "I'm so close, baby. Oh my God, that feels so good." Her moans were getting louder and higher pitched.

He smirked and started sucking her nipple again, hearing her scream his name as her orgasm took over. He brought her down, gently kissing her chest. "Feel better?"

Olivia's breath was heavy. "That was amazing. My back still hurts, but that helped take a little bit of the edge off. Let me finish my lunch now," she smiled and kissed him. She broke the kiss and rested her hand on her belly. "Someone's awake. Good morning, sweet Caroline." She chuckled, feeling the baby kick her hand. She looked at Ed and took his hand, putting it on her belly, feeling the baby kick again. "She's either going to be a swimmer or a soccer player, those kicks." She smiled and kissed him again.

Ed but her shirt back on the right way and rubbed her belly. "Hello, Miss Caroline," he kissed her belly and smiled. "She's going to be perfect just like her mommy."

She blushed. "We love you, don't we baby girl," she smiled before she doubled over in pain. "That was my rib," she took a deep breath. "I'm going to take that as a yes." She rested against Ed, kissing him gently, sitting back up, sniffling, trying to get a breath in through her nose before taking the salad and finishing it.

He kissed her temple. "I'll go put this in the sink, you lay down." He smiled and helped her lay back and get comfortable before he put the dish in the sink, coming to cuddle up behind her, kissing the back of her head. "Want me to rub your back?"

Olivia smiled. "Just hold me right now," she looked over her shoulder. "I just want to feel close to you," she whispered.

Ed moved as close as he could to her, wrapping his arm around her, rubbing her belly. "Just relax, don't tense up too much."

She smiled and rested her hand over his. "How's the packing coming?"

He kissed the back of her head and smelled her hair. "We should be all set to move by the end of the week."

Olivia maneuvered so she was facing him. "We need to be in there and decently settled by the time Caroline comes," she said and kissed him gently, running her hand down his torso, gently grazing his erection, eliciting a moan from him. "Ed," she said gently. "I was so worried about having an orgasm myself I didn't even think about you."

Ed took her hand in his. "Liv I—"

"Don't need it, I know. Only you do, Ed. A raging hard on can't be comfortable," she looked into his eyes.

He blushed slightly. "I haven't had the opportunity to take care of it yet." He caressed her face. "I'll get rid of it in a little bit. You just close your eyes and get your rest."

Olivia raised her eyebrow. "So knowing you plan on taking care of that yourself, you want me to sleep? You think I'll be able to?"

Ed rested his forehead against hers. "My arousal should be the least of your worries, Liv. You're in pain, I can't ask you—"

"And you didn't," She looked into his eyes, feeling tears well up in her own. "I know I'm not sexy right now, I'm not beautiful, so picture me before the baby, or think of someone else, I don't care, but I need to feel sexy."

He looked at her. "Olivia Margaret Benson, you have always been and will always be the sexiest woman on the face of this Earth. You have always been beautiful and you will be for the rest of eternity." He caressed her face. "I'm not telling you not to worry about it because you don't turn me on baby. I still crave you, and just seeing you orgasm again, Liv, that's what this is from," he said, looking down at his erection. "I'm telling you not to worry about it because I know how much pain you're in, and I don't want you worrying about getting me off, okay?"

Olivia sniffed tearfully, and looked into his eyes. "Promise me that if this pain goes down before I give birth you'll make love to me again?" She said, gripping his t-shirt.

Ed smiled and kissed her passionately, hearing her moan. "I promise you," he whispered against her lips. "The moment you aren't in pain anymore, or it's at least tolerable, I will bring you to bed and I'll make love to you all night long, okay? But right now, You, Caroline, and Noah are my priorities, not if I get off or not, and not if it's your hand or mine that gets me off."

She nodded and wiped her eyes. "God I'm so hormonal, I feel crazy." She rested her head on his chest. She looked up at him. "Thank you for being such an incredible man. Thank you for still finding me beautiful even when I'm crazy," she felt his hand rub her belly, and felt Caroline kick where his hand was. "She already loves her daddy."

He smiled and lifted her chin. "That's good, because I already love her, and I love her mommy regardless of how hormonal she is." He kissed her softly. "Now, close your eyes and rest. Once you fall asleep, I'll put the finishing touches on packing for the day, and I'll get started on dinner."

Olivia nodded. "Wake me if you need me. Promise? I wanted to be able to help as much as I can. I still do. Even if it's just something simple."

Ed kissed her forehead. "I promise, my love. Now, get some sleep, okay?" He stroked her hair and felt her breathing even out. He held her for a little while longer before he slowly got up and walked into the living room, leaving the door cracked, packing up the last of the books and records on the bookshelf along with the record player in boxes that said Living Room in his slightly messy scrawl. He hated his hand writing, but Olivia said she loved it. She said it the first time he gave her a Valentine's Day card and apologized for his handwriting. Once he sealed the box with packing tape, he stood up and started making dinner. He made his famous chili that he knew Olivia loved. Once it was all put together he let it simmer on a low heat, he walked into the bedroom and got back in bed, kissing her forehead, stroking her hair. "Baby," he whispered, rubbing her belly.

She groaned and opened her eyes. "Everything okay?" She caressed his face.

He smiled and kissed her softly and caressed her cheek, deepening it slightly. "Everything is perfect," he whispered. "Dinner's almost ready. Noah should be home soon, Lucy's picking him up. I just wanted to spend some time making sure my fiancée knows just how much I love her."

Olivia smiled and looked at him. "Yeah? How do you plan on doing that?"

Ed smirked. "Well, seeing as how sex is off the table at the moment because of your pain, and how there's still about twenty minutes until your favorite dinner is ready, I figured you and I could kiss until Noah gets home." He looked into her eyes and ran his thumb over her lips.

She smiled and looked from his eyes to his lips. She maneuvered herself closer to him and she craned her neck up and kissed him passionately, feeling his tongue run along her lips she opened her mouth to him, her hand cradling the back of his head. She moaned, feeling his hand run over her breasts and her side. She broke the kiss and let out a breath. "God, I love you." She kissed him again, feeling him roll her on her back, laying off to the side of her so he didn't crush the baby. She moaned gently and smiled.

He kissed down her neck. "I love you, too, Liv. With every fiber of my being." He caressed her face. "I want nothing more than to have you wrapped around me, giving you orgasm after glorious orgasm. I want nothing more than to lay here all night and kiss you, and show how much I love you. I will do anything and everything I can to show you."

Olivia smiled and looked into his eyes. "I know how much you love me, Ed. I know how much you love me even when I'm in too much pain for you to make love to me. Even if you weren't lying in bed with me, kissing me, running your hands over my body, still finding ways to worship my body. Ed, I know." She took his hand, resting it on her belly, her hand over his. "I've said it since the first time we saw Caroline on the ultrasound. Our love made her, our love made a new life, Ed."

Ed kissed her softly and cradled her face. "I can't believe she's going to be here in just a couple months." He whispered in her ear. "She is going to be beautiful and perfect just like you."

She looked up at him. "I want two things for her, I want her to have your eyes. Your beautiful, piercing eyes. And I don't want her to have this crippling self doubt that I have. I am going to be the best mother I can be to her. I'm never going to fill her head with the bull my mom filled my head with." She looked into his eyes. "I want our daughter to know that she's so loved, and that she deserves that love," she felt tears in her eyes. "I don't want her to learn that at forty like I did. It's painful, Ed, believing that the love you crave so desperately is something not meant for you." She looked down. "I don't want her to be just like me, Ed. Because I'm not perfect. I'm fucked up."

He lifted her head and met her eyes. "Olivia Margaret Benson, I need you to listen to me right now. I hate the fact that you grew up believing you weren't worthy of love. I hate that you grew up having your head filled with lies that your mother told you. But you are not fucked up. You're a strong woman with a heart of gold that I am lucky enough to be loved by. I am so lucky to be the man who gets to love you for the rest of my life. I don't want our daughter to know any of the pain that you have known in your life. But I want her to be just like her mama. I want her to be strong and not afraid to do the right thing, willing to stand up for other people, for what she believes in. That, Olivia, is the furthest thing from fucked up," he whispered.

Olivia looked at him, tears running down her face and she nodded, wrapping her arms around him and crying. "I'm the lucky one, Ed." She closed her eyes, feeling Caroline kick. "It's okay sweet girl. It's okay." She looked at Ed, feeling him dry her tears. "I love you so much. You've given me the world, Ed. I hope my love is enough to repay you."

Ed caressed her face. "It's more than enough, Olivia. You've given me the one thing I've always wanted but was always just out of reach. You've given me a family. A family that in a couple of months is getting a little bigger."

She smiled. "I need to meet your mom before the baby comes. We should have her over for dinner." She wiped her eyes. "And hopefully I won't be sobbing in front of her. And hopefully she likes me."

He kissed her forehead. "I'll call her tonight and set it up. Don't worry about her liking you, I've told her all about you, I'm pretty sure she already loves you."

Olivia smiled. "What did you tell her?"

Ed smiled. "Well, I've told her how incredible you are. I told her when I wanted to propose that I found the strongest, bravest, most beautiful woman to spend my life with. And I told her she finally is going to have a grandchild to spoil. Now she'll have two."

She bit her bottom lip. "Does she know I'm pregnant?"

He smiled and ran his hand over her arm. "She does. She's dying to meet you."

Olivia smiled and kissed him gently. "I'm still in some pain, but you, you make me so happy, so deliriously happy that it's bearable, Ed." She kissed him softly.

Ed caressed her face. "I'm glad. If I could I'd take all of your pain away, I'd feel all that pain if it meant you didn't have to feel it." He rested his hand over her belly, feeling Caroline's foot, or maybe her hand press against his.

She nodded. "I know," she whispered. "I didn't think that growing another life inside of me would be this painful, but once I have this baby in my arms I know all of the pain and the congestion in my nose and the awful emotions and the fainting, it'll all be worth it when I'm holding our beautiful daughter in my arms."

He kissed her gently. "You've got to hold onto that. I know these last couple months haven't been any picnic, but she's getting so big and so strong."

Olivia rubbed her belly. "She's not even here yet and I already love her so much." She kissed him gently. "How do I love someone who isn't even here yet, who I've never met, so much?"

Ed nuzzled her nose. "Because she's the only one on Earth who is going to know what your heart beat sounds like from the inside." He kissed her softly. "Come on, dinner's ready. I made chili." He smirked and stood up, helping her slowly stand up.

She leaned on him for support. Her hips hurt and it was agonizing to walk, but she couldn't stay in their bedroom much longer today without going stir crazy. "Ed," she stopped once they got to the kitchen. "Thank you, thank you for being here and helping me."

He held her face in his hands, wiping her tears. "I couldn't imagine being anywhere else right now." He kissed her softly.

 **A/N: Okay, so I skipped over the amnio. I've done detailed writing of an amnio before and it's so nerve wracking. So, Olivia's having a baby girl with no genetic or chromosomal disorders. Now she just has to deal with the literal pains of pregnancy. I know we all like to write pregnancy for our favorite fictional women as easy and wonderful like we generally all hear about. But 2 of my favorite YouTubers (Colleen Ballinger Channon Rose) have recently had babies and they had hard pregnancies (Colleen talks about how looking back she realizes she was depressed during her pregnancy, and she's even getting rid of everything to do with her pregnancy, except her baby because it was so traumatic). I didn't want to do the usual happy pregnancy and maybe a complication in labor, I want to show that pregnancy can be hard, and show some of these symptoms that aren't talked about often. So, I did. You don't have to like it, but this is the reality for so many women, and they don't talk about it. Anyway, leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay) and I'll see you all soon!**


	25. In This New House

**This chapter got REALLY long without me even realizing it. I think this may be the longest chapter in here. Anyway I hope you like it.**

A week had passed and Olivia had seen her OB/GYN, who suggested she see a chiropractor and an acupuncturist for pain, which she did, and she was finally able to get up and move around with minimal pain, meaning that she was able to do her part in finishing packing up the apartment and moving into the new apartment. They'd been in the new apartment for three days, and they loved it, and Olivia couldn't wait until she was allowed to use the jacuzzi tub in their master bath that was huge. But she was so grateful that their shower stall was big, had two shower heads, one on each end of the shower, and had a built in shower seat where she could sit if she needed to. It also made for endless passionate shower sex with her fiancé. Their only timer was how long the hot water lasted.

Olivia sat in their new king size bed that had been delivered the night before and rubbed cocoa butter on her belly, smiling at her husband. Still congested, they'd set up a humidifier next to her side of the bed. She saw Ed come in the bedroom and she smiled. "Well hello there, sexy." She stood up and wrapped her arms around him and kissed him softly. "I love our life," she whispered. "I may not be able to breathe through my nose. I may still have pain sometimes, but we own a beautiful apartment, your mom is coming over for dinner tonight, we have an absolutely incredible son and we have a precious little girl on the way. And I have an incredible fiancé who makes me feel more loved than i have ever felt in my entire life."

Ed held her hips gently, afraid that holding them too hard would hurt her. "We do have a pretty great life, don't we?" He kissed her again. "I'm glad you aren't fainting anymore, and that your pain has lessened. Seeing you faint scared the shit out of me, and seeing you in that much pain killed me."

She smiled and ran her hands over his chest. "I know, baby. But you know what we can do now, especially since Noah's at school?" She grinned and kissed his neck. "We can christen our new bed," she whispered and moaned, feeling his hands run over her breasts and down her sides.

He walked her back towards the bed. "I want to take my time with you, kiss every inch of you that I can." He whispered in her ear, taking her maternity dress off and pushing her panties down. "Lay on your side," he whispered.

Olivia smiled and did as she was told, feeling him snuggle up behind her, spooning her. He pushed inside of her and she groaned. "God, Ed." She felt him kiss her neck, and she closed her eyes as he started thrusting inside of her. "Oh, baby," she moaned and let her hand find his, holding it tight, her hips moving back to meet his. He wasn't moving fast, but his thrusts had intention. He moved his hand from hers and he found her clit. She gasped. "Mm, right there."

Ed groaned. "Oh, yeah, Liv." He whispered and saw her hands start to massage her breasts, his thrusts were slow, but rhythmic. He felt her muscles starting to contract around him. "Mm, you gonna come around my cock?" He heard her moan and he smirked. "Oh, baby. You feel so good." He kissed the back of her neck.

"Ed! Oh, God, I want you to come in my pussy." She whined and felt orgasm tear through her. "Fuck!" She arched her back and turned her head and looked at him over her shoulder. "Please baby," she begged, riding her orgasm out. "Ooh, fuck!" She sighed when she felt his release inside her. "Oh, Ed." She moved so she was facing him, kissing him passionately. "Oh my God," she whispered and caressed his face. "That was incredible." She held the front, underside of her belly. "Ooh," She let out a breath.

He looked at her. "What's wrong, baby?"

Olivia looked at him. "I don't really know. That was weird. It wasn't even pain, just cramping." She looked up at Ed. "Should I call the doctor?"

Ed caressed her face. "It couldn't hurt. Just to make sure everything's okay."

She nodded and slowly sat up, picking up her phone and calling her doctor. "Hi, yes, this is Olivia Benson. Everything is fine… I think. I'm almost thirty weeks pregnant and I just had some cramping. I want to make sure that I'm not going into preterm labor." She listened. "No, my water didn't break, no bleeding. It was rather quick, I'm not doubled over. It was in the front of my abdomen." He listened and watched her blush. "I— yeah, yeah we did." She bit her bottom lip and listened to the doctor and let out a breath. "Thank you. I'm sorry to be a bother. Yes, thank you. We'll see you next week." She put her phone down and laid back down on her side, a smile on her face.

He looked at her. "I'm guessing it's not labor."

Olivia chuckled a bit. "Braxton Hicks. Apparently they can be brought on by orgasm, and something called prostaglandins in semen. But they're nothing to be alarmed at. She suggested I drink some water and rest for a bit." She kissed him gently. "She said as long as they don't get stronger, and I'm not getting them more than four times in an hour, that it's nothing to worry about but if they do any of the above or I notice any bleeding or my water breaks to get to the ER right away."

Ed smiled and caressed her belly. "Let's keep this one in there for a few more weeks."

She smiled. "Well, you know what she said, she wanted to keep an eye on how big the baby was getting, she's measuring a couple weeks later than her gestational age."

He kissed her gently. "Be that as it may, 29 weeks, almost 30, is still a little early. She needs more time to fully develop."

Olivia smiled and nodded, feeling the baby move around in her stomach, seeing the fetal movements as the skin of her belly moved with them. "I'll never get over how cool that is, but it looks so incredibly creepy." She laughed and kissed him again. "I should get some water and then take a little nap before we get started on dinner."

Ed kissed her forehead. "You relax, I'll go get you water and then—"

She took his hand. "And then you're going to come lay next to me and hold me while I take a nap."

He smiled and kissed her softly. "As you wish, my love."

Olivia looked into his eyes. "You've been working so hard with this move, you need your rest just as much as I do. You and I are going to take a nap before we start dinner for your mother." She ran her hands over his chest. "For me?"

Ed caressed her face. "I'm fine, baby. But for you, anything."

She smirked. "You are most definitely fine, and if I have to get you to rest for me, I will. I need you healthy, especially once our precious girl comes."

He smiled. "I know you tell me all the time that I take such good care of you, but you take such good care of me. You're completely selfless, even when you're in pain, even when you're exhausted you still make sure I'm being taken care of. Physically, emotionally, sexually. It makes me love you so much more."

Olivia smiled softly. "It's only because I love you so much. And I know you'd do the same for me. You deserve to have someone looking out for you, too." She kissed him gently. "Now, do me a favor and get me a water bottle, then come back in here and take a nap with me, cuddled up and holding me close. That, right now, is all I want."

Ed kissed her once more, slipping into his boxers and quickly going to the kitchen for a water bottle and bringing it back into the bedroom for his fiancée. "Your water, my love."

She smiled and took the water bottle from him, kissing him gently. "Thank you," she opened the bottle and took a swig, setting it on her nightstand and laid down, facing him. "Hold me," she whispered.

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Forever." He wrapped her in his arms and saw her eyes close, and he followed suit, both of them drifting off to sleep.

Olivia was the first up. She looked up at Ed and smiled. He looked so peaceful. She looked at the clock at saw that Noah would be getting out of school soon, and since Lucy was picking him up, she knew they had about an hour before he got home. Lucy was wonderful through the last few months of her pregnancy, helping out with Noah when they needed it. She looked back at Ed, feeling awful about waking him up, but she knew that there were things they both needed to do. She leaned in and kissed him gently, feeling him start to slowly kiss back. She grinned and pulled away. "Time to wake up, sleepy head." She whispered with a smirk on her face.

Ed looked into her eyes. "Hey there beautiful." He kissed her gently. "I guess I did need some sleep."

She smiled and bit her bottom lip. "Told ya." She giggled and got as close as her baby bump would allow. "Noah is going to be home soon, I need a shower, and we need to start on dinner." She looked into his eyes. "But I just want to stay in bed, wrapped up in your arms," she whispered and kissed him gently.

He kissed her back, and then pulled away softly. "I can reschedule with mom, tell you aren't feeling up to it. We can get dressed and hang out with Noah in here."

Olivia looked at him. "Ed, we were together for a year and I didn't meet her, and we've been back together for almost another year and I still haven't met her. We're not rescheduling. She's going to think I don't want to meet her."

Ed smiled. "Baby, she wouldn't think that, but if you're sure that you're gonna be okay, I'll get dressed and start dinner while you shower."

She smiled. "I'll be fine. I want to meet the woman who raised the incredible man I get to spend my life with. I want to thank her." She felt a tear run down her cheek. "Help me up so I can go get in the shower and make myself look halfway decent."

He smiled and wiped her eyes. "You always look beautiful, even when you don't think you do." He kissed her forehead. "Come on, let's get you in the shower."

Olivia smiled and got up with his help, wrapping her arms around him. "I can't say it enough, I love you more than I can put into words." She caressed his face and kissed him softly, letting out a gentle moan. She smiled and pulled away. "I just hope your mom doesn't hold our breakup against me. I know it hurt you, and that, Ed Tucker, is my biggest regret. I never, ever meant to hurt you."

Ed looked down at her. "I know you didn't. And while I was hurting I also know it hurt you. I was the one who walked away. I should have fought harder, Liv. I should have made you see that you could have me, Noah, and SVU. Because any amount of time I got to spend with you was the best, I was happy to stay in and hang out with Noah. I should have fought for you."

Her bottom lip trembled. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I should have gotten out of my own head." She looked into his eyes, taking a deep breath. "I should get ready," she whispered and kissed him softly. "I'll be out shortly." He tuned to go into the bathroom.

He reached out and touched her shoulder, stopping her. "Hey," he turned her around. He tilted her face up and kissed her passionately, his hands running over her body. He broke the kiss and pulled away softly, leaving them both breathless. "I love you, Olivia Margaret Benson. Forever and always."

Olivia looked at him, smiling. "I love you, Ed Tucker. Forever and ever." She hugged him, feeling his lips on her head. "Okay, now I really need to go get ready or your mother is going to meet me naked." She chuckled and kissed him again. "I'll be out soon." She smiled and walked into the bathroom, starting the shower, letting it warm up a little bit, but she didn't want it too hot. She showered under the rainfall shower head, and once she was clean she stepped out and dried off, putting lotion on her belly and then wrapping herself in a towel, picking out a pair of black leggings and a gray maternity dress, getting dressed, then blow drying and curling her hair and doing her makeup, a soft eye and a pink lip. She walked out to the kitchen and smiled. "Hey there handsome," she smiled coyly.

Ed turned from the stove and looked at her, his eyes traveling the length of her body. "My God, you're so beautiful. So sexy."

She grinned and kissed his cheek. "I take it you like how I look," she bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes. "Dinner smells amazing, baby, what did you make?"

He held her hips. "Teriyaki beef, brown rice, and roasted sweet potatoes." He kissed her softly. "Making sure you have all the nutrients you need so you and Caroline are healthy, but making sure the food tastes good."

Olivia smiled. "You're so good to me." She kissed his cheek, then his nose, then very softly kissed his lips, her lips barely grazing his, feeling Caroline move around and kick her ribs, hard. "Sweet girl, you have to be gentle with mama," she said after finding her breath again.

Ed looked at her. "You okay?" He saw her nod. "Why don't you go sit down, I'll turn the oven down on dinner and I'll be in to hold you."

She smiled. "Okay. But before I do, where's our precious boy?"

He kissed her forehead. "Doing his homework at his desk."

Olivia smirked. "So you just want me to go sit on the couch so you can make out with me until either Noah comes out of his room or until your mom gets here, whichever comes first?" She raised her eyebrow.

Ed blushed. "Guilty as charged." He kissed her temple. "Unless you'd rather not."

She kissed him gently. "Now, did I say that?" She kissed him softly pulling away. "I'll meet you on the couch," she winked and walked over to the couch, waiting on Ed.

He quickly turned down the oven to keep dinner warm until his mother arrived. He moved to the couch and sat next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "My beautiful fiancée." He leaned in and softly kissed her. "I can't wait to call you my wife."

Olivia kissed him and cradled his face in her hands. "Me either," she whispered, her lips staying attached to his. "Mm," she grinned when she felt his hands on her body.

Ed kissed down her neck, over her chest and back up to her lips. "I can't get enough of you."

She broke the kiss. "Ed, I love you. More than life itself. But right now, I need you to shut up and kiss me."

Almost immediately after she'd gotten her last word out his lips were back on hers, feeling her tongue move into his mouth, their tongues massaging each other. He heard a buzz at their intercom and he pulled away. "That's mom," he whispered.

Olivia looked at her watch. "She's early," she took a deep breath. "Help me up so I can make sure my lipstick isn't all over my face." She took Ed's hand and looked at his face, making sure he didn't have lipstick on his face. "You're good. Let your mom in." She walked back into the master bath and made sure her makeup was still good. She took a deep breath and then went and got Noah, walking out with him, seeing Caroline. She couldn't help but smile.

Ed looked at her and was in awe of the woman he loved. "Ma, this is Noah, our son," he smiled and took a deep breath and walked over to Olivia. "And this is the woman who's made me want to be a better man, who I'm deliriously in love with, Olivia Margaret Benson."

Olivia put her hand out to shake Caroline's hand, but she was wrapped in a hug. She let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "It's so nice to meet you, Mrs. Tucker."

Caroline pulled away and looked at her future daughter in law. "Please, Mrs. Tucker was my mother in law, call me mom. Or Caroline, either one." She smiled. "Ooh, can I touch your belly? I used to hate when people just assumed."

Olivia smiled. "Of course, mom." It felt so natural. "I bet we can even get your granddaughter to kick," she smiled and rubbed her belly. "Come on, sweet girl, kick for Grandma Caroline." She felt the baby start to kick and she moved Caroline's hand over where the baby was kicking, a smile on her face.

Caroline gasped. "Oh, a little girl. Have you picked a name yet.

Olivia smiled and looked over at Ed. "You want to tell your mom what we're naming our baby girl?"

Ed kissed Olivia's temple, his arm around her shoulders. "Her name is Caroline. Caroline Willow." He smiled at Olivia.

Caroline's mouth fell open. "Caroline? Now, Olivia, did Eddie talk you into that?"

Olivia smiled and shook her head. "He asked me about a week ago if I'd put any thoughts into what I wanted to name her, and I suggested Caroline, after you. I know we hadn't met yet, but any woman who can raise such a caring and loving man, that's a woman I'd like my daughter named after." She nodded and wiped at her eyes before the tears could fall. "Sorry, hormones. I burst into tears like a week ago when Ed made me a salad."

Caroline smiled. "Well, I'm honored. But what about your mom?"

Olivia smiled. "Noah, sweetie, can you go wash up for dinner?" She saw him run off to the bathroom and she looked at Caroline. "My mother was a hopeless alcoholic, she died about 20 years ago. She fell down the subway steps outside the Velvet Room. She was terribly abusive, but I can't blame her. I'm the product of her rape." She nodded.

Caroline put her hand on Olivia's shoulder. "Oh, sweetie I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

Olivia shook her head. "It's okay. I promise. I've worked through it and moved past it, but, um, I haven't told Noah yet. He's so innocent that I can't bring myself to tell him how terrible my mother was to me. I just… I want to keep him a little kid as long as I can."

Caroline hugged her again. "You're a great mother, Olivia."

Olivia smiled. "Well, based on how this one turned out," she said looking at Ed, her smile growing, "I'd say you're a damn fine mother yourself." She turned back to Caroline. "Can I get you something to drink?"

Caroline smiled. "Vodka if you have it."

Ed kissed Olivia's temple. "I'll get it. You go check on Noah. And I'll get dinner served.

Olivia smiled and looked into Ed's eyes. "I love you," she mouthed and slipped behind him, walking over to Noah's bathroom, knocking on the door. "Noah, sweet boy, are you okay?"

Noah opened the door. "Mommy, how come you never tell me about your mom?"

She sighed and knelt down on one knee. "Noah, there's some things about my own mom and dad that I just don't know how to explain to a kid your age. My dad was a very bad man, my mom got by the best way she knew how to, but… she hurt me. A lot. I haven't had an easy life, Noah. I haven't had a happy life. Not until you came along. One day when you can understand more, I'll tell you what I can. There's even some things I don't know, still. I don't want to hide this from you, but I don't want to explain the bad, dark stuff to you until you're a little older. You may be getting older but you'll always be my little boy. Even when you're fifty." She caressed his face and kissed his forehead. "How about we go have dinner?"

He hugged Olivia and nodded. "I love you mommy. I'm sorry you had to go through so many bad things in life."

Olivia smiled and closed her eyes. "Me too," she whispered and pushed herself up. "Come on, sweet boy. Let's go have dinner." Olivia and Noah walked to the dining room and sat down at the table, Olivia sitting next to Ed, resting her hand on his knee, smiling at him. "This looks absolutely amazing, Ed. Thank you." She kissed his cheek.

They all sat ate dinner and played a few games. Caroline stayed until about 8:30. Ed walked her out while Olivia got Noah ready for bed. While they waited for a cab, Caroline turned to Ed. "Olivia is a very special woman, and I swear to God, Eddie, if you walk out again, or hurt her in anyway, I will kick your ass from here to Dublin." She said seriously. "You have yourself a woman who is so in love with you, it's palpable, Ed."

Ed smiled. "I'm not going anywhere, Ma. She's the absolute best and is too good for me, and way out of my league, but she literally makes me a better man. And I'm just as in love with her. After Kim, I didn't think I'd ever be able to trust another woman, or anyone. I didn't think I'd ever love anyone again, but Olivia— Ma, I love Olivia more than I ever thought was possible to love any woman. Don't worry, I'm not going to mess this up with Olivia. Not again."

Caroline nodded as a cab pulled up. She hugged her son. "Go up and see the love of your life, and your son."

Ed kissed her cheek, making sure she got in the cab alright, waving goodbye. He walked back inside, taking the elevator up, and walking back into their apartment. He saw Olivia sitting on the couch, Noah, assumingly in bed. "Hey beautiful."

Olivia smiled and stood up slowly, walking over to Ed. "Hey, yourself, handsome." She kissed him gently. "Noah's in bed, waiting for his daddy to say goodnight and tuck him in. While you do that, I'm going to change into my pajamas and climb into bed." She kissed his lips once more before she walked into their bedroom.

Ed walked in to Noah's room and kissed him goodnight and tucked him in tight. "Goodnight, slugger." He turned the light off. "I love you." He walked out of Noah's room and into their bedroom, seeing Olivia sitting on the bed in nothing but her panties, rubbing lotion on her belly and her breasts. "God, you're so sexy."

She looked up at him and chuckled. "Doubtful." She smiled, and slipped a nightgown over her head."So, That is a weight off my shoulders. Your mom seems to like me."

He smiled and sat next to her. "She more than likes you, Olivia. She loves you. She told me outside of I walk out again or hurt you in anyway she'd personally kick my ass." They shared a chuckle.

Olivia moved closer and rested her head on his shoulder. "Noah asked why I haven't told him about my mom. Why I asked him to go wash up before I started talking about her." She took a deep breath. "I was honest. I told him my parents weren't good people, that I'd had a hard life, that I was never truly happy until he came along. And then you." She smiled. "And then this sweet little girl who will be here in like, 10 weeks." She took a deep breath. "We need to get shopping. We don't have a crib, or a car seat, or clothes or—"

Ed cut her off with a kiss. "Relax," He whispered and ran his hands over her arms. "I have a surprise for you, that I was going to keep for another week or so, but if you want to see it now, I'll show you."

She looked at him. "Now you've got me curious."

He smirked and led her to the door of the room they'd decided would be the nursery. He opened the door and she looked around. "Surprise."

Olivia was in awe. The room had been painted a pale lilac, with a dusty gray accent wall that bore Caroline's name in a dusty rose, her middle name in black. A crib had been set up and a changing table, in the drawers were plain onesies, a rocking chair was in the corner. She looked at Ed. "When? How?"

Ed walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. "I had the painters come in last week, I had them stencil her name once we decided on it, and I had some help with the furniture from Fin and Carisi." He kissed the back of her head. "We still need to get diapers and diaper rash cream and—"

Now it was her turn to cut him off. She'd turned in his arms and kissed him passionately. "This is perfect," she whispered. "Thank you." She caressed his face. "This whole pregnancy, this whole relationship, you've been able to keep my stress down." She grinned and wrapped her arms around him. "I love you, Ed Tucker."

He smiled. "I love you too, Olivia Benson."

Olivia's eyes shone with love. "We can shop for all of that later. But right now, I just want you." She led him back into their bedroom and pushed him down on the bed, climbing on top of him, and kissing him. "I want to kiss you, and taste you, and fuck you," she whispered, straddling him and grinding her hips into his. "Oh, baby," she groaned.

Ed held her hips and groaned. "Fuck, you're so sexy." His hips thrust up into hers and she gasped. He smirked and gripped her ass. "You like that?"

She moaned gently. "So good baby." She ground her hips harder into his, leaning down to kiss him, letting out a loud moan. She moved her lips to his ear. "Oh, yeah, I love grinding my clit on your cock, even through pants." She whispered, letting out a whiney moan.

He groaned and slapped her ass. "You're gonna make me come, baby. Oh God," he moaned.

Olivia smirked and moved off of him, undoing the buttons on his jeans and pulling them off, along with his boxers. She took him in her mouth and looked up at him, taking him, in his entirety, into her mouth, playing with his balls, her eyes never leaving his, as she moved over him with her mouth. She heard his grunts and she smiled, groaning as his release landed on her tongue. Once he was finished, and she'd swallowed every drop she kissed up to his lips and smiled. "So good, baby."

Ed kissed her and carefully laid her on her side, looking into her eyes. "You are incredible. You didn't have to—"

She put her finger to his lips. "I wanted to," she whispered and kissed him again. "What fun is it to get you all worked up if I can't feel you, or taste you?" She chuckled.

He kissed her forehead. "God, I love you," he smiled and held her as close as he could. He looked down at her and kissed her gently.

Olivia smiled and kissed back. In this moment her life was perfect.

 **A/N: Okay, so Caroline and Olivia met. We saw the nursery. And Olivia's pain got better. I'm thinking next chapter we finally meet Baby Caroline! Stay tuned! In the interim leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay). See you soon!**


	26. Welcome to the World

**In which we meet Baby Caroline... enjoy.**

Olivia has been struggling to fall asleep all night, tossing and turning, she unintentionally kept Ed up. "I'm sorry, baby," she said, curling into his chest. "I just can't get comfortable." She was officially at the nine month mark today. 36 weeks. And she was just uncomfortable. She wasn't in pain, just a lot of discomfort. "I'm going to go go the bathroom, because I have to pee, again." She got up and went to the bathroom, sitting down and feeling a popping sensation, followed by a trickle of fluid, followed by a sharp pain. "Ed!" She saw him run into the bathroom. "Call your mom and then call Lucy. I think my water just broke." She looked from her stomach to his eyes. "I'm in labor." She smiled and let out a breath. "I'll call the hospital and have them page the doctor." She got up and walked back into the bedroom and got dressed and got her hospital bag. Within fifteen minutes Lucy was there. She had another contraction. "God," She breathed through it. "Okay, hospital. Your mom can meet us there."

Ed grabbed his bag and helped her outside, getting her in the car. "We'll be there soon. Hold my hand. Squeeze if you need to." Ed rushed to the hospital, lights and sirens going, feeling her squeeze his hand closer and closer together. "Your contractions are about 5 minutes apart."

She nodded. "Trust me, I know." She let out a breath, seeing them pull up to the hospital. He ran inside to get a wheelchair and he wheeled her in. "I'll be good. Go park the car." She went to the desk. "I'm in labor. I need paper—" she let out a breath as a contraction hit. "Paperwork. Please." She rested back against the back of the wheelchair. In what seemed like minutes Ed was back, kissing her cheek. The nurses were wheeling them back to Labor and Delivery, Ed has their bags and the paperwork. "Is Dr. Cooper here?"

The nurse got her set up in the room, giving her a gown to change into. "She'll be in, in just a few minutes. Change into that so she can check you."

He set their stuff up in the corner. "Thank you." Once the nurse left he helped Olivia her undressed and helped her into the gown, then into the bed. "Our baby is going to be here soon."

Olivia smiled and kissed him softly. "I can't wait." She rested her head on the pillow, groaning as another contraction hit. "Shit, and they're only going to get worse." She saw the doctor come in and she smiled. "Please tell me I can get an epidural. I'm in so much pain."

The doctor sat at the foot of the bed once she had gloves on. "Let me check to see how dilated you are, and then if you're far enough along I'll call the anesthesiologist, and we'll get you an epidural. You'll be feeling minimal pain, okay?" She lifted Olivia's gown once she was up in stirrups and put her hand under her gown to check how far along she was. "And when did your water break?"

Olivia let out a breath. "About an hour ago. Contractions started right after."

Dr. Cooper shook her head. "Hate to tell you, you've likely been in labor all day. Any pain, even mild."

Olivia looked at Ed. "A little, nothing that rendered me unable to do anything."

Dr. Cooper nodded. "You're about six centimeters dilated. We need 10 before we can start pushing. I'll call for an anesthesiologist, have them set you up with an epidural." She paged for the specialist and waited for them. "Hopefully we'll be welcoming baby Tucker into the world in a matter of hours."

Olivia looked up at Ed. "She'll be here soon." She smiled, seeing the anesthesiologist come in, followed by Caroline. "Mom," she smiled and reached out to hug her. "Sorry to wake you in the middle of the night."

Caroline brushed it off. "I'm old, I've had plenty of sleep over my lifetime."

Ed looked at his mother. "You're beautiful, Ma."

Caroline put her hand on her hip. "Damn right I am. But I never said I wasn't. Old and beautiful aren't mutually exclusive."

His eyes cast downward. "Sorry." He kissed Olivia's head.

Olivia smiled. "I'm really glad you could—" She gripped Ed's hand. "Make it." The anesthesiologist told her to sit up and face away from him, with her head down and her shoulders rolled forward. She did as she was told, and stayed still as the doctor inserted the catheter and started the flow of medicine.

"You'll feel the full effect in about twenty minutes. Congratulations, I wish you the best of luck."

Olivia laid back and let out a breath. She turned to Ed. "Don't let them put a daddy stitch in, okay? If I tear and they need to use stitches, don't let them put anymore than necessary in."

Ed kissed her forehead. "You got it, baby."

Olivia took a deep breath, another contraction hitting. They were coming closer and closer together. "Baby? Can you get me some ice chips?"

Caroline stood up. "Oh, no. I'll get them for her. You stay here with Olivia. She needs you." She kissed her future daughter-in-law's head and walked to get her some ice chips.

Ed smiled. "Thanks, Ma." He watched the monitors she was hooked up to, seeing her since as a contraction showed on the screen. "You're doing wonderful baby."

Dr. Cooper came back in and checked Olivia again. "You are progressing really quickly. You're fully effaced and about 8 and a half centimeters dilated. Any time now. I'm going to get set up and get the team in here, and then you should be set to push. Baby Tucker really wants out."

Olivia looked up at Ed, tears in her eyes. "I'm scared," she whispered.

Ed kissed her head and saw his mother come back in. "You're going to be wonderful. I'm right here, mom's right here. We've got you."

Olivia nodded and looked at Caroline. "I can't thank you enough for being here. It really means so much." She smiled when Caroline offered her a spoon of ice chips, she gladly accepted them.

Caroline brushed her hair back. "Of course, dear. I know the first one can be scary, but with the epidural you're not going to feel much until later."

Dr. Cooper, along with a team of nurses all ready to deliver the baby looked at Olivia. "I'm going to take a quick peek, okay?" She took a peek, using her fingers. "Okay. You're at ten centimeters. On your next contraction you're going to bear down, as hard as you can, for ten seconds, you're going to rest for a few seconds and then push for another ten. Then one more time. We're looking to get thirty seconds of pushing out of a contraction, okay? Then you'll rest until your next one, okay?"

Olivia nodded and one of Ed's hands and one of Caroline's. The end of the bed came off and Olivia waited and when the doctor told her to, she pushed, hard. Olivia was relatively lucky, Caroline was officially born just a half hour after Olivia started pushing. Olivia lay back on the bed, tears running down her face her newborn baby on her chest. "Hi sweet girl. Hi baby." She looked up at Ed and smiled, kissing him softly. "I love you."

Ed kissed her again. "I love you too." He, begrudgingly, went with Caroline as they cleaned her up and weighed her. He didn't want to, but Olivia insisted that one of them needed to be with her. His mom stayed next to her as she delivered the placenta. And he was next to her, holding the baby as they stitched her up.

Olivia looked at the doctor. "How bad was the tear?" She asked, out of breath.

The doctor looked up at her. "It's a second degree tear, it could be worse, but it'll take a few weeks to heal. There are stitches in multiple layers here, but they'll dissolve on their own."

Olivia nodded and she looked at Ed. "She's perfect." She put her arms out. "Oh, let me hold her." She held Caroline in her arms and she cried. "Caroline Willow," she whispered and kissed her forehead. "My perfect little angel," she whispered and wiped her eyes.

Ed kissed Olivia's head. "Seven pounds, six ounces." He whispered. "You're amazing."

Olivia looked up at him and kissed him again, holding Caroline close. "She's beautiful." She looked up at Caroline. "Would you like to hold your granddaughter?" Olivia slowly handed the baby over to her namesake.

Caroline smiled down at her granddaughter. "Hello, beautiful girl. I'm your grandma. Yeah," she smiled and rocked her gently.

Ed sat next to Olivia. "I love you so much, Liv," he whispered and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. In this moment he just needed to be close to her. Caroline passed the baby back to Olivia and she cried. "She's beautiful, just like her mommy."

Olivia wiped her eyes. "Wow." She rested against the bed, resting Caroline on her chest. "I'm so tired, but I don't want to close my eyes. She's so perfect."

A nurse came in with a wheelchair, and the anesthesiologist in tow. "We're going to take out the epidural, and then get you to a recovery room. We'll get you something for pain and let you rest while we take baby for her first bath."

Olivia groaned and handed Caroline off to Ed, sitting up so the epidural could come out. As soon as it was out the pain hit her like a ton of bricks. "Oh my God," She let out a breath and closed her eyes. It wasn't the worst pain she'd ever felt, but it was bad. She accepted help from Caroline getting into the wheelchair, and the four of them walked to her room in recovery, where a bassinet from the nursery was waiting for baby Caroline. "Let me hold her again before they put her in the bassinet." She took her daughter in her arms and kissed her forehead. "I love you, sweet girl. Yes I do. So much."

Caroline smiled. "I'm gonna head home, give you three some time together." She kissed Olivia's forehead, Ed's cheek, and caressed the baby's cheek with her finger. "I love you all."

Ed smiled and hugged his mom before she left then sat next to Olivia. "She has your nose," he whispered. "Your adorable, perfect nose. And your lips." He said, letting her grab onto his finger. "And your grip."

Olivia smiled and looked up at him. "Thank you, Ed. Thank you so much. You gave me the chance to carry a child. My child. And I love you immensely for it."

Ed leaned in and kissed her softly. "Thank you, for giving me a perfect little girl." He kissed her again.

She rested against him. "I never want to have her anywhere else but my arms." She felt his lips on her head. "I can't believe I gave birth to her. I can't believe I gave birth in general. To a healthy, beautiful baby girl." She looked up at him. "And she's named after one of the most incredible women I've ever met. Your mom."

He held Olivia and rested his head on hers. "Do you want me to call Lucy and the Squad, or do you want me to wait until you've had a little rest first?"

Olivia smiled. "I'd say yes, but I've been up more than twenty-four hours. I should try to sleep before I need to feed her. So should you. And don't tell me you're fine. You've been up longer than I have. We're both going to nap until Caroline comes back into the room, probably when she's ready to eat," she smiled and kissed him gently.

Ed smiled and kissed her. "You know me too well."

The nurse came in and smiled. "Do we have a name for the birth certificate?"

Olivia nodded. "Caroline Willow Tucker." She smiled down at her daughter. "Are you bringing her to the nursery?"

The nurse smiled. "Miss Caroline is actually going to stay in here with you. There's no reason we can see to put her in the nursery, so she'll stay in here. We can put her in her bassinet while you all get some sleep though. And I have some pain meds for you, this way you can relax and get some sleep. You need it. When she's ready for her first feeding we'll bring her in, along with a lactation consultant, who can walk you through breast feeding, if that's the route you want to take."

Olivia smiled. "Of course. I plan to breastfeed as long as I can. It's what's best for her." She kissed Caroline's forehead before the nurse put her in the bassinet, and handed her a cup with a pill in it and some water. "What's this?"

The nurse smiled. "Percocet. It'll help the pain."

Olivia looked at her. "Is it safe? For the baby I mean, since I'm breastfeeding?"

The nurse nodded. "It's a low dosage, and you're only going to be on it for a few days while we get your pain to a level that can be managed with Tylenol or Advil. This is only five milligrams and you can take it up to four times a day. Anything under forty milligrams a day is safe for baby. And it won't secrete in breast milk for the first four or so days." She smiled. "We wouldn't give you anything that hurt your baby."

Olivia nodded. "Thank you." She took the pill and rested her head on the pillow, looking over at Caroline, a smile on her face, touching the outside. "I'll see you soon, sweet girl. Mommy loves you." The nurse took Caroline to the nursery and she looked over at Ed. "Lay down with me?"

Ed climbed into bed next to her, wrapping her in his arms. "Pain meds helping?"

She chuckled. "I just took them." She rested her head on his chest. "Hold me while I sleep?"

He tilted her head up and kissed her gently. "Always," He whispered. He held her close and closed his eyes and they both drifted off to sleep.

Olivia woke up first but didn't move, she just stayed where she was, her fingers running over his chest. She was groggy. She felt him stir and she smiled at him. "Hey." She kissed him gently, pulling back and looking at him.

Ed looked at her. "I'm guessing you're not feeling any pain."

She smiled. "A little. Not as bad. I'm starving, though."

He chuckled. "Let's get you something to eat, baby. I'll page the nurse."

Olivia smiled and kissed him gently. "I love you."

Ed kissed her back gently. "I love you, too." He kissed her forehead. He pushed the button for the nurse.

She rested her head back on his chest. "I can't wait to get back to our own bed. I miss our blankets and our pillows."

He stroked her hair. "I know, baby. Soon." He saw the nurse come in, he and Olivia both looked back at her.

The nurse smiled. "We don't usually let dad sleep in the same bed as mom, but I can see this is exactly how Mom wants to and needs to be right now. How can I help you?"

Olivia smiled. "I'm really hungry. Is there anyway I can get something to eat. Even just a banana."

The nurse smiled. "I'll get you a tray." She smiled and left.

Olivia looked up at Ed and smiled. "Kiss me," she whispered and felt his lips on hers. She smiled and ran her hands over his chest.

Ed pulled away. "Easy, baby," he whispered. "Not until your healed."

She looked up at him. "Sorry," she whispered. She rested her head on his chest. "I'll behave."

He looked down at her. "You? Since when?" He smirked.

Olivia smirked right back. "I needed some excuse to see those stunning blue eyes," she smiled and kissed him. "Mm, besides, you like it when I misbehave." She looked over her shoulder. "We have a beautiful little girl sleeping over there who is proof of that." She chuckled, seething momentarily. "Sorry. I just got a twinge of pain."

Ed smirked. "You don't have to lie, before things ended with Cassidy you couldn't stand me. Or my eyes." He kissed the top of her head. "And you're right, I do enjoy that." He held her securely. "You okay?"

She smiled. "In your arms? I'm wonderful. And I think a part of me… a part of me always wondered what it would be like to kiss you, to be with you," she bit her bottom lip."

He kissed her forehead. "Were you disappointed?"

Olivia smiled. "Never," she whispered. "Your kisses alone make my toes curl. Add to that that you know all the right ways to work my body to have me coming over and over and over again." She let out a breath. "With the pain I'm in right now, sex isn't something I want for the near future. But, there's still that part of me, that knows when we can again, it'll be mind blowing. Like it always is with you. But from the reading I've done, we're going to have to stock up on lube. At least for a little bit while I'm breastfeeding."

Ed smiled and kissed her forehead. "I think we can handle that. But first and foremost, you need to heal. Your body went through something traumatic, and it needs time to heal."

She nodded. "I know. Just promise me something, when I'm not in as much pain, maybe… let me help you out once in a while. I know you don't want me to worry about your arousal, but just let me help here and there. My hand at first. My mouth later." She grinned."

He groaned. "You need to stop talking like that or I'm going to need the bathroom to take care of it."

Olivia smirked. "Sorry," she whispered and chuckled.

 **A/N: So, she wasn't in labor long and we got to meet Caroline. This is likely going to be the last update until after Christmas, so if I don't see you before then, and you celebrate, Merry Christmas. If you don't celebrate Christmas and I've missed the holiday you do celebrate (be it Hanukkah or Yule or something else entirely) I apologize, if you celebrate Kwanzaa, Joyous Kwanzaa, and if you don't celebrate anything, I hope you have a happy Tuesday. See you next time, a bit of a time lapse again, but I have it in the works in my head. Leave a review in the mean time! Here or twitter (couricshargitay)**


	27. Bringing Home Baby

**Okay, so I had a little extra time on my hands and I got an update done in time for Christmas! Yay! Enjoy. I also have noticed I don't get reviews if the chapter doesn't involve smut... sooo... stay tuned.**

Three weeks had passed. Olivia and Caroline were home, and the little family was adjusting to life with a newborn. Olivia was breastfeeding and pumping so that way she could eventually go back to work. But right now, she didn't think that was happening any time soon. The only place she wanted to be was home with her fiancé and her children. Olivia and Ed has talked about when they would get married, and they agreed that once they could celebrate their wedding night properly, they would go to the courthouse and get married. While they knew a marriage was more than sex, it was also a part of their relationship they both cherished. That meant it was going to be a minimum of 6 weeks after Caroline was born. Possibly longer, depending on how the tears Olivia sustained from the birth healed.

Olivia sat on the bed, feeding Caroline. Caroline's hand rested on the top of Olivia's breast as she suckled. "Mama's precious girl," she whispered and stroked her face with a finger. She saw Ed come in and she smiled. "Look, it's Daddy." She looked up at him and smiled, placing a kiss on his lips before switching breasts so Caroline could finish eating. "Hello my love," she smiled and kissed him again.

Ed grinned and climbed on the bed next to her. "She's So beautiful. Just like her mama." He kissed Olivia's cheek, then her shoulder.

She blushed and looked down at Caroline, letting her hold onto her finger. "I feel so happy. Even through the pain as my body heals, I am so deliriously happy." She looked over at him. "And it's all because of you," she whispered and kissed him. "And Noah. But you, you made our family complete. I was happy when it was just Noah and I. I was even happier when you came along. But with Caroline… everything just feels complete now."

He kissed her softly. "You, happy. That's always been my goal, Liv. To make you happy."

Olivia smiled. "You do. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be." She felt Caroline stop suckling on her breast and she lifted her up to her shoulder to burp her. "Such a good girl," she whispered and kissed the side of her head. On top of her nose and her lips, Caroline also got her dark chocolate brown hair. She heard her burp and she smiled and put her on her back on the bed. "Good girl, Miss Caroline."

Ed kissed her shoulder again, up to her ear. "I know we can't do anything, but you are so sexy," he whispered. "And I can't wait until we can again," he smirked. "But I'll wait as long as I have to, because you're worth it."

She looked over at him. "My knight in shining armor." She looked at Caroline. "Isn't he sweet girl? He's our knight in shining armor." Caroline cooed happily.

He wrapped his arms around Olivia. "My Queen and my Princess." He whispered and kissed Olivia's neck.

Olivia smiled. "Mm." She giggled and pulled him away from her neck. "Tell you what, once Caroline is down for her nap, I'll take care of you," she whispered. "We can't have sex, but I can still get you off with my mouth." She grinned.

Ed groaned. "You're going to kill me with your teasing."

She raised an eyebrow. "Who said I was teasing? I just need to put Caroline down for her nap. Then I'll get something else down," she said looking over his body. She picked Caroline up and stood up, rocking her to sleep, putting her down in her bassinet. She looked at him and jerked her head towards their bathroom, walking in and waiting for him. She kept the door open a crack and pushed him up against the wall, getting on her knees and carefully taking his jeans and boxers off, letting out a groan when she saw his erection. She bit her bottom lip and stroked him.

He groaned and looked down at her, greeted by a sultry smile. "Fuck, you're so sexy."

Olivia licked her lips. "Shh." She whispered. She licked up the underside of his shaft, taking him in her mouth, moving her lips over him, moaning. This was as intimate as they'd been in nearly a month. She craved physical intimacy with Ed. It wasn't about the sex. It was about feeling close to him, and feeling like they were one. She heard him groan and she smirked. He was the only man she'd ever been with that moaned and talked to her while she performed oral sex on him, and she loved it.

Ed held her hair in one hand and looked down at her while she looked up at him. "Oh, fuck yeah, baby." His hips involuntarily thrust into her face, but she expertly moved back so he didn't choke her. "Jesus Christ, Liv."

She smiled and let her tongue run over him. "You like that, baby?" She asked as she stroked him, her voice high and whiney.

He groaned. "I'm gonna come baby. Fuck."

Olivia smirked and wrapped her lips around the head of his penis, running her tongue over it, tasting his release shortly after. She swallowed and slowly stood up, moaning as he pulled her into a kiss. She ran her hands over his chest and pulled away gently. "Mm, better?"

Ed wrapped his arms around her and buried his head in her neck. "That was incredible," he whispered. "It always is with you."

She smiled. "Well, it helps that we haven't been intimate in almost a month, and you haven't had my lips around you in longer than that." She smiled and picked his head up and looked in his eyes. "I'm just glad I can still get you off somehow, even if we can't do everything we'd like." She kissed him softly.

He rested his forehead against hers. "I wish I could return the favor, baby."

Olivia chuckled. "Trust me, right now, you don't want your mouth anywhere near my vagina. I'm still bleeding and it still probably looks like a bomb went off down there." She ran her hands over his arms. "Soon, I promise as soon as the doctor says it's okay, and I'm not bleeding or shedding anything out of my vagina you can lick and suck down there all you want." She caressed his face and kissed him gently. "I'm gonna go pump and sleep a little bit before Caroline wakes up. Join me?"

Ed walked back into the bedroom with her. "You haven't looked at what it looks like. After baby?"

She got her pump out and set it up, shaking her head. "I'm almost scared of what I'm going to see. I need to keep the idea that I'll be sexy again, eventually, and seeing what I look like, what my vagina looks like— if it's bad, I don't know if I'll ever feel sexy enough for you." She felt tears form in her eyes.

He rested his hand on her shoulder, seeing her turn to look at him. "You will always be sexy enough for me." He saw a tear roll down her cheek, and he wiped it away. "No matter what."

Olivia nodded. "I love having this conversation about the state of my vagina with you, but I really, really need to pump or my breasts are going to explode with milk." She chuckled. "Give me two minutes to get the pump started, and then we can keep this conversation going." She managed to get the pump on her breasts and going, feeling her milk start to drain from her breasts, letting out out a breath, wincing.

Ed sat behind her and moved her hair out of the way and kissed her neck, hearing her moan. "Focus on me, not the discomfort." He kept kissing her neck, his hands running over her thighs. Her soft, breathy moans met his ears and he smiled. "There you go," he smiled. "Just feel it."

She rested her head on his shoulder. "Ed," she sighed. She turned her head and leaning over and kissing him softly. They stayed like this for about twenty minutes and she turned the pump off, manually releasing the last of the milk from her breasts into the containers. She got up and labeled them with the date, putting them in the freezer. She walked back into the bedroom, climbing in next to Ed. "I love you. So much. Thank you for still being turned on by me."

He kissed her forehead and held her close. "Olivia, I will always be turned on by you. No matter what." He ran his fingers over her back. "I promise." He kissed her softly. "I love you, too." They snuggled up together and fell asleep, holding each other, wrapped in blankets.

Olivia was topless. She found it easier and more comfortable, so when Noah was at school or at play dates, she found herself lounging around the bedroom without a top or bra on. If she was in the living room for any period of time, or if Noah was home, she had on a tank top. She woke up when she heard Caroline cry. She got up and picked her up, changed her diaper and held her close. "I've got you sweet girl," she whispered and sat back down, slowly. She sat back against the headboard and rested Caroline on her chest, rubbing her back, singing her a lullaby softly. Olivia knew she wasn't the best singer, but Caroline loved it when Olivia sang to her. It calmed her down quickly, and she snuggled further into her chest. "You'll be in my heart. Yes, you'll be in my heart. From this day on, now and forever more."

Ed woke up and looked at Olivia, in awe of her. She started to hum rather than sing. "Keep singing."

She looked at him, startled. "Did I wake you?"

He smiled and sat next to her. "It's okay, keep singing."

Olivia looked at him and smiled. "I forgot the the rest of the words." She chuckled. "Okay, um," she thought for a moment, closing her eyes. "Time stands still, beauty in all she is. I will be brave. I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me. Every breath, every hour has come to this. One step closer—" she stopped and wiped her eyes, closing her eyes and relishing the feeling of her daughter in her arms, leaning down and smelling the top of her head, kissing her gently. "Mama loves you," she whispered. She looked over at Ed. "Thank you for giving me the most perfect little girl."

Ed tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I could say the same to you." He kissed her cheek and wrapped his arm around her. "Is she asleep?"

She nodded. "She is." She looked at Ed.

He smiled. "Put her back in the bassinet and then come back and get a little more sleep. You're exhausted."

Olivia smiled gently. She got up and put Caroline in her bassinet and crawled back into bed next to her soon to be husband. "I am so in love with you, Ed." She caressed his face and leaned in to kiss him softly. "I hope one day, our little girl can find someone who shows her just how much they love her the way you show me."

Ed kissed her knuckles. "I hope she finds someone who loves her as much as I love you. Liv, I can't put into words how much I love you. It's humanly impossible. The words haven't been discovered." He kissed her and held her close. "Get some more sleep, baby." He whispered and kissed her forehead. "I'll be right here when you wake up."

She smiled and closed her eyes, nestled safely in his arms. She felt his fingers run over her back. "Mm," she moaned softly. From the beginning Ed had always taken good care of her. He put her own needs ahead of his own. And when they were first together, she took it for granted, until he wasn't there anymore. The second time around, she never wanted it to seem like he was always giving a hundred percent and she was giving fifty at most. She made sure that when she came home from work and Noah was in bed, she was present with Ed. Whether they spent the night rolling around in bed, or whether they spent the night talking, she swore she was going to be present. Obviously he was there for her when she had a bad day, and she also knew that part of being present was accepting help when she needed it. She'd grown, and they way she grew made their relationship work even better.

He watched her sleep for a while before falling into a peaceful sleep himself. He stirred when he heard Caroline cooing. He looked over to see that she was awake and looking around the room. He got up and walked over and picked her up. "Hello, my beautiful girl." He held her close to him and he smiled. "You know, you look so much like your mom, I bet when you get older you'll be smart, compassionate, passionate about doing the right thing, just like your mom. I got so lucky, finding her and your brother. And I thought that was as far as my luck would take me, then we found out about you. You were exactly the baby we dreamed of. Your mom has been wanting you her whole life, and I have too."

Little did he know, Olivia had woken up and was on her side, listening to him, a smile on her face. She didn't want to startle him with the baby in his arms so she just stared at him, waiting for him to turn around. When he did her smile grew bigger. "You are incredible with her."

Ed blushed. "Well, I can't sing, so I have to talk to her." He sat down and kissed her softly. "I think she may be ready for another feeding."

She laughed. "I can't sing either. I can't carry a tune in a paper bag." She took Caroline. "There's mama's sweet girl. Are you hungry, beautiful?" She smiled. "Judging by how painful my breasts are I'd say you're due for a feeding." She let her latch onto her breast and she looked at Ed. "This is just as uncomfortable as pumping, but I'd much rather feel her latched on than a pump."

He smiled and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "Liv?" He saw her look up at him with a beaming smile. "The conversation we had earlier, about looking down there?"

Olivia nodded. "Yeah?" She asked, watching Caroline as she waited to hear his response.

Ed bit his bottom lip. "I know you don't want to look down there, because you're afraid that it could be bad, and that you may not be sexy enough for me. But, you know I will always find you sexy."

She furrowed her brow. "Yeah—"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, would you, maybe, let me look?"

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "Um, I mean if you want. I'd have to clean up a little before you did so, but I wouldn't be opposed to it. I mean you've seen it before, that's kinda how we got this little one." She looked up at Ed. "Promise me that it won't change how you—"

Ed cut her off with a quick kiss. "No matter what I see," he leaned in and whispered in her ear. "No matter what your pussy looks like, I will still find you the sexiest woman in the world, and I will always want to throw you on the bed and make love to you over and over and over, and make sure you have a mind blowing orgasm every time."

She bit her bottom lip. "Okay." She smiled and had Caroline switch sides. "Someone's a hungry little baby, aren't you? Yes you are."

 **A/N: So, there you have it. Some smut and some time with Caroline. Next up, methinks, is what we've all been patiently waiting for. Mr. and Mrs. Tucker. Leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay)**


	28. Mr and Mrs Tucker Pt 1

**So, I was bored on my way to my family's house and on my way home, so I decided to write. This was all going to be one chapter, but it wound up being nearly 5.5k words and I figured I'd break it up. 29 is going up shortly after this because it's almost done. Enjoy Part 1.**

Olivia was laying in bed, underneath Ed as he kissed her, she broke the kiss and moaned as he kissed down her neck. "God, Ed!" She gasped and arched her back. She scratched his back. "Ed, Ed, baby you need to slow down. My God I need you."

Ed took a breath and went back to kissing her. "I am going to be getting you ready all day, because once the doctor gives the okay, I'm bringing you home and I'm going to make love to you. However you want. I can't keep my hands off of you," He whispered and kissed her passionately.

She moaned gently. "What are we going to do if she says I can't have sex yet?" She asked and kissed him again, wrapping her body around him.

He looked down at her. "We'll figure it out when we get to that point." He smirked. "Now, can I keep kissing you?" He asked, nibbling on her ear and down her neck.

Olivia smiled and hooked her leg around him, flipping them over. "As long as we can get away with," she whispered and leaned down and kissed him passionately, her bare breasts pressing against his bare chest. She groaned, her tongue slipping into his mouth. "Mm."

Ed ran his hands over her back, running his hands down to grip her ass feeling her hips grind into his. He groaned. "God you need to be cleared for sex, because I need to ravish you. The kids can stay with my mom or Lucy for the night, I. Need. You." He stressed the last sentence.

She smirked. "I don't just need you to make love to me, Ed. I need you to fuck me," she whispered and kissed his neck, biting gently and soothing with the spot with her tongue.

He groaned and flipped her over again. "If we don't stop, we're going to be fucking before the doctor tells us it's okay. I'm ready, and as much as I love what you do to me with your mouth, I want more."

Olivia smiled and ran her nails down his chest lightly. "I want more, too." She looked into his eyes. "And as much as I want the kids to be with either your mom or Lucy tonight, provided we get cleared, I really want them to be there so we can go to a hotel for our wedding night."

Ed kissed her gently. "So, if you're cleared we go over to the courthouse and get married and then we make sure mom or Lucy can stay with the kids and we'll get the honeymoon suite at the best hotel we can find in New York, champagne and strawberries and we'll spend our wedding night there," he leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Naked."

She giggled and kissed him again and pushed her hips up. "But this needs to be taken care of before we do any of that." She groaned softly.

He let out a breath, going to speak when he heard Caroline start to fuss. "How about you feed Caroline and I'll go to the bathroom and take care of this."

Olivia smiled. "I wish I could help you," she whispered. "I'll take care of our little girl," she rested her lips next to his ear. "Go take care of your big, thick, cock for me." She grinned. "Think of me," She whispered and bit his earlobe, hearing him groan. He got up and walked into the bathroom and she got up and picked Caroline up. "Come here sweet girl," she closed her eyes and kissed the top of her head. "Are you a hungry little girl?" She sat on the bed and nursed her.

Ed closed the door and rid himself of his pants, realizing how hard he was. He took himself in his hand and stroked himself slowly at first, groaning. He closed his eyes and started stroking faster. "Oh, Liv. Oh, God, yes." He groaned and held onto the wall. In his mind's eye he saw her in red lace lingerie, on her knees stroking him, her mouth open ready to take his release. "Aah," he threw his head back. "Just like that." He felt his climax build and within a few more moments he was coming like crazy. "Fuck," he whispered and caught his breath, pulling his pants back on and cleaning up before walking into the bedroom, a blush coming over his cheeks.

She grinned. "I take it you had quite a deal of fun." She smiled. "I'm gonna have to teach you how to be quiet when you masturbate."

This only caused him to blush harder. "Sorry." He sat next to her. "I'm usually better about it, but my God you had me so hard," he whispered. "The doctor really needs to give you the Okay because my hand, your hand, and your mouth are all getting tired. I just want to feel your pussy again."

Olivia smirked. "Well, I'm not bleeding, I don't have anything coming out of my vagina, and I'm not in pain, so the odds are in our favor. As long as my tears are healing well, I think we'll be in the clear." She kissed him gently, a smile on her face, switching Caroline to the other breast. "Maybe call your mom and see if she'd like to spend the night with her grandkids, just in case we get the green light, I have to look to see what I have that I can wear for our wedding, we have to get a witness, but other than that, I think we'll be set on our romantic wedding night in a beautiful hotel."

Ed kissed her gently. "Only the best for you. Premium Terrace at The Beekman?" He whispered. "So we can make love and fuck until we're spent and then tangle in the sheets, enjoy breakfast on the terrace with views of the city, followed by some more time spent rolling around in the sheets before check out."

She smiled and kissed him softly. "That sounds perfect, Ed. Better than I ever could have hoped for." She smiled and burped Caroline, setting her down in her bassinet before going into the closet and looking for a dress. "Would it be wrong of me to wear white?" She called to Ed

He walked over to her. "You can wear whatever your heart desires, Olivia." He kissed the back of her head. "You look beautiful in everything. Whatever you want to wear." He wrapped his arms around her waist which had been shrinking down to her size pre-baby, kissing her neck.

Olivia smiled. "Isn't it the tradition for virgins to wear white to their wedding? And women who are in their twenties?" She took a dress out and looked at it held up to herself. "This one is going to make my breasts look incredible." She chuckled. It was a short, gold/amber colored lace dress that had an asymmetrical lace flounce. It was low cut and would show just enough cleavage. She got on her knees and started going through her shoes, finding white and gold rounded toe pumps. "Perfect." She looked at Ed. "We should come back here before we head to the courthouse, right? So we're not going to the doctor dressed to the nines?"

Ed smiled. "We're not the most traditional, Liv. You could wear tassels on your nipples and a g-string and I'd think you were beautiful." He saw her incredulous look and he shrugged. He saw the outfit she chose and he caressed her face, kissing her softly. "You're going to look like the Queen you are." He whispered. "I uh, I got your wedding band. Do you want to see?"

She smiled. "If you want to show me." She watched him walk over to his night stand and pull out a ring box, opening it and walking back over to her. She gasped. "Ed!" She looked up at him. "This is beautiful."

He smiled and kissed her lips. "It's moonstone in white gold, the stone is set in the band so that way it's not a big rock. That's what the engagement ring is for. . I know you prefer the white gold to yellow, and I got the moonstone because… I feel like I'm giving you at least a little part of the moon. I would give you the whole thing if I could, baby. You know that. But this way—"

Olivia stopped him with a kiss. "You give me everything. And this, Ed, this is perfect, and I love it. I got your band, too." She walked to her night stand, taking out a ring box and walking over to him, opening the box, revealing a simple silver band and inside was a cobalt blue. "The NYPD was such a big part of both our lives. It's still a big part of mine, but regardless, I never would have met you had not been for the Never Yielding Perpetual Dick-around." She saw his expression. "Amanda's meaning behind the acronym." She smiled. "Without NYPD, I wouldn't have you, or Caroline, or Noah even. But this ring is about you, and how without NYPD, we wouldn't have each other."

Ed kissed her. "I love it." He saw her smile.

She blushed. "Let me get dressed so I can head to the doctor. You stay with Caroline, get everything set for tonight. Sound like a plan? It just May be easier for one of us to go and the other to stay with Caroline. And since I'm the one with the vagina…"

He kissed her. "You get clothes on this sexy body and I'll change Caroline and get her dressed." He kissed her again and pulled away gently. "Go ahead," he playfully spanked her.

Olivia gasped and looked at him. "Oh, tonight is going to be good." She chuckled and kissed him, grabbing a pair of leggings and a bra and T-shirt and walking into their bathroom, getting dressed and kissing Ed and Caroline goodbye, heading to her doctor's and waiting for her name to be called. Once she was, the exam was fairly quick with the doctor asking how she was, how Caroline was and then taking a peek to see how she was healing. "What's the verdict?"

Dr. Cooper smiled. "Well, as long as you're not in any pain, I'm going to clear you for sex. Stitches dissolved, tears healed very well. I'm just going to caution you with anal sex, hemorrhoids can show up for a few months after delivery, and they can make anal sex painful, but barring those, you're ready to return to a healthy, happy, active sex life."

Olivia squealed and hugged the doctor. "Thank you." She smiled and watched her leave, quickly getting dressed and stopping at the desk, but they said to give them a call if she needed anything. Olivia popped into the drug store and bought some lube, just in case what she read was right and she'd experience vaginal dryness. She got home and rushed back to the bedroom and pushed him back onto the bed, noting that Caroline was in her bassinet. She kissed him passionately and she groaned, feeling his hands slide under her pants and into her panties, gripping her ass. She broke the kiss and smirked. "I've been cleared for sexual activity," she whispered in his ear.

Ed looked at her. "Olivia Margaret Benson, that is the hottest thing you could have said to me in the entire world."

She smiled. "I know. I'm going to take a quick shower, do my hair and makeup and put on my dress, why don't you get in your dress blues, because I fucking love how you look in them, and once your mom gets here we can go."

He kissed her passionately, running his hands under her shirt. "You're so fucking sexy. I can't believe in a little more than an hour, you're going to be my wife."

Olivia grinned and kissed him. "Let me get ready." She got up and took out white lingerie and a garter and brought her dress and heels into the bathroom, shedding her clothes and stepping into the shower, quickly washing her hair and her body, shaving her legs. She turned the water off and put on her lingerie and garter and did her makeup and curled her hair, gathering it on one side and securing it with bobby pins before putting on her dress, walking out to the bedroom. "Ed will you—" she stopped talking and she let out a breath, seeing him in his dress blues turned her on to no end. "Uh, can you zip me?" She asked, her voice thick with desire. She felt his hands on her hips after he dragged the zipper up and she closed her eyes. Tilting her head as he kissed her neck. "Mm." She stepped away. "I— wedding first, then we get to— do that" she giggled and looked at him. "God, you look amazing in your dress blues."

Ed smirked. "You look beautiful." He heard the buzzer. "That's mom. I'll get that, you grab my ring and your shoes and we'll head out, I have our bags."

She smiled and looked at him. "Hotel Room is booked?" She saw him nod and she grabbed the ring and the drugstore bag she got earlier and slipped into her shoes. She picked Caroline up. "Be good for grandma, sweet girl." She walked out and saw Noah. "Hello, my sweet boy. Mommy and Daddy are going to go have some alone time together, and we'll be back tomorrow, you be a good boy for Grandma Caroline, okay?" She kissed his forehead.

Noah looked at her. "You look pretty! Where are you goin'?"

Olivia smiled. "Mommy and Daddy are going over to the courthouse and then we're going to a really really nice hotel, like we stayed at in Paris, but we won't be that far, just a few blocks away, okay? But, we'll be home tomorrow afternoon." She stood up and hugged Caroline.

Caroline kissed her soon-to-Be daughter-in-law's cheek. "Welcome to the family, dear," she whispered.

Olivia smiled. "Thank you, mom. And thank you for watching the kids. We really appreciate it." She took a deep breath and walked over to Ed, taking his head. "Ready, Captain?"

Ed rested his hand on the small of her back, waving goodbye to his mother and Noah. "Let's go get married," he whispered

 **A/N: Okay so it was a little bit of a tease of some smut. There's A LOT of smut in part 2. Also, I tried doing research on whether NYPD officers can wear their dress blues (Class A Uniforms) after they retire and couldn't find much, so I went with it. If it's wrong, I'm sorry. Stay tuned for Chapter 29, Part 2 to this, it's almost done, so it'll be up in the next few hours. Leave a review, her or on Twitter (couricshargitay).**


	29. Mr and Mrs Tucker Pt 2

**I just put the finishing touches on this chapter, part 2 of the wedding. Enjoy.**

They arrived at the courthouse and met Fin and Judge Linden there. They all signed the certificate and then Judge Linden performed a ceremony, when she got to the vows, Olivia started. "Never in my life did I ever think I'd be marrying Ed Tucker. But then I got to know you, who you really are behind this steely demeanor you put forward, and I realized that you're exactly the man I'd been looking for all along. I got scared and we were apart for a while, but we've been back together almost a year and in that year we bought our dream apartment, we had a beautiful baby girl, and we're solidifying our family right now. I thank a God I'm not sure I believe in every single day for bringing you into my life, even if you were a royal pain in my ass for most of it." They laughed and she slipped the ring on his finger. "Ed Tucker, I love you, and you are the only man I ever want to say that to for the rest of my life. You're my knight in shining armor and I know I'm not perfect, I'm working on accepting the fact that I'm good enough for you, and that isn't all a dream, but you make that easier. You make me feel loved and safe enough to work to accept that. You're stuck with me Ed."

Ed smiled and caressed the back of her hands with his thumbs. "I'm not the best with words." He looked into her eyes. "But from the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were different. Special. I'd try to figure out reasons to question you just so I could be in the same room, even though I hated having to question you. With my first wife, her cheating on me shattered every ounce of trust I had. Until I met this beautiful woman, Olivia Margaret Benson, who worked her way into my heart, and I was sold the moment she tried the bourbon, and didn't almost die from coughing. You're one of the strongest people I know, because you've had to be. I want to be the reason you don't have to be so strong anymore. Now and forever." He slipped the ring onto her shaking finger. "I love you, Olivia Benson, and I swear, because I'm awful with words, I will spend the rest of my life showing you just how much."

As they stared into the other's eyes, tears running down their faces, smiles beaming at the other, Judge Linden spoke. "By the power vested in me, by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Captain, you may kiss your bride." Before the words were even out of Linden's mouth Ed's lips were on Olivia's.

Olivia broke the kiss and smiled. "I love you," she whispered and hugged him tightly. She looked at the judge and hugged her. "Thank you." And then she hugged Fin. "Thank you Fin," she whispered. She turned back to Ed who was shaking Linden's hand. "Let's go," she whispered.

Ed leaned over and kissed her temple. "Olivia Margaret Tucker," he whispered, seeing her smile. They walked down the courthouse steps together and hailed a cab, to bring them to the hotel.

Once there, Olivia accepted Ed's hand and walked in with him, since they'd already checked in, they took the elevator to their room. Once the door to their room closed, Ed pushed her against the wall and kissed her passionately. "Mm." Her nimble fingers undid the buttons on his jacket and his shirt, throwing them on the floor. "I've been waiting to do that for so long." She turned around. "Unzip me, then I want you to make love to me. All night long."

Ed ran his hands over her sides before dragging the zipper down, pushing the dress off her body, her hands finding their place again on the wall. "Turn around."

She bit her bottom lip and slowly turned to face him, undoing his dress pants, pushing them over his hips, along with his boxers. She took his hand and led him to the bed. She sat down and crossed her legs. "Make love to me, I want to look into your eyes. I want to look into my husband's eyes." She smiled and ran her fingers over his chest. It had been so long since they could have sex face to face.

He pushed her back and kissed over her body. "You're so fucking sexy, Olivia." He pulled her up so she could watch. He took her garter in between his teeth, and dragged it down.

Olivia smiled and pulled him up, kissing him. "Oh, I forgot." She got up and took the drugstore bag she got earlier and emptied it on the bed, a few different brands. "I read that the first few times after birth, especially with breastfeeding women, women can experience dryness, so for everyone's comfort, lube is suggested. I didn't know which kind so I figured I'd get a few and we could experiment." She smiled and kissed him.

Ed moved the lube out of the way before picking her up and laying her on the bed, pulling her panties down with his teeth. He kissed her lower lips, running his tongue over her slit, hitting her clit. "Mm," He looked up at her.

"Oh my God!" She gasped and looked at him. "Oh, Ed, baby!" She felt him kiss up her body and take her bra off in one motion, kissing him passionately. "Mm." She moaned and felt his hands on her body. "Ooh. Baby, please. Make love to me, make me come." She saw him smirk, feeling him push inside her, she gasped and let her mouth fall open, their eyes staying locked as Ed moved. "Oh, Ed, right there. Uh-huh." She arched her back. "Oh, just that!" She sighed and moved her hips with his. Her eyes staring into his, her hand caressing his face. The atmosphere changed in an instant. It was no longer driven by a primal need to feel each other, but by love

He slowed his thrusts and he grunts got louder, feeling her nails scratch at his back. "Liv," He whispered. "I can't hold on much longer." The truth was, the moment he pushed into her he was ready to come. He knew how to hold back, and slowing his pace helped him control it, but now it was becoming too much. "I need you to come too. Tell me what to do to make you come."

Olivia smiled and quickly flipped them. Her hair was hanging down as she looked in his eyes, grinding their hips together, stimulating her clit. "Mm. I'm so close baby." She bit her bottom lip. "You gonna come for me? You gonna come in my pussy?"

Ed held her hips and thrust up into her as her clit was grinding on his pubic bone. He held her still as he released inside of her, feeling her walls clamp down on him, feeling her milk him. Both of them screaming as their climax hit, Olivia rode it out, never breaking eye contact. "Oh God," he whispered. Once she finished she collapsed on top of him. "Oh my God," he kissed the side of her head.

She giggled and looked up and kissed him. "You are so amazing." She kissed his neck, groaning, feeling his hand come down on her bare ass. She looked at him and bit her bottom lip. "You know what that does to me. You ready four round two already? Because now that we've made love, eye contact and all, I need you to fuck me from behind." She bit her bottom lip. "Spank my ass, pull my hair. But we may want to move this to the bathroom. I'm so turned on, I don't want any wet spots on the bed. We're going to want to sleep, eventually."

He ran his hands down her back. "Shower? Have you assume the position," he whispered in her ear. "Thrust my cock into your waiting, wet pussy. Spank your ass, pull your hair, play with your clit while I thrust hard inside of you." He heard her groan. "Is that what you want, baby?"

Olivia moaned and kissed his neck. "Fuck me," she whispered. "The way only you can. You know how I like it." She climbed off of him and kicked her shoes on. "Meet you in the shower." She asked walking backwards to the bathroom.

Ed got up and followed her, they walked into the shower stall together. "Turn around." He watched her slowly turn around. "Turn on the water. Make it steamy," he whispered and watched her fingers turn the knob on, making the water hot. "Grab the wall." He watched her hands find spots on the wall. He saw her spread her legs and push her ass back towards him. He leaned in to whisper in her ear. "I love you, Olivia Margaret Tucker. With all my heart."

She looked back at him. "I love you, too, Ed Tucker. My husband." She felt his hand rubbing her ass. "Rub it three times and I'll grant your wish," she smirked. "Like a magic lamp, but I'm a sex genie. Whatever your fantasy is," she bit her bottom lip. "You all nice and hard for me? You gonna fuck my pussy? Or should we get the lube so you can fuck my ass?" She turned around and kissed him. "Tell me what you want."

He pushed her back against the wall, kissing down her chest, flicking his tongue over her nipples. "I want to taste you before we do anything else." He kissed down her torso, getting on his knees, putting both her legs over his shoulders. He leaned in and kissed around her clit, kissing the areas around where she wanted him most.

Olivia groaned. "Damn it, Ed! She arched her back. "Oh, suck my clit baby, run your tongue over my slit. Fuck me with your tongue. I'm so wet." She pleaded.

Ed smirked and looked up at her, wrapping his lips around her clit and sucking gently, running his tongue over it, feeling her hand on the back of his head as his mouth worked her over. He pushed his tongue inside her and she gasped.

"Oh, God!" Her head fell back against the marble shower, her eyes rolling back. Her hips rocking into his face. "Oh yeah, eat that pussy good." She held his head with both hands. "Oh yeah," she bit her bottom lip. "Ed!" She cried out. "Oh, I'm gonna come. Oh my God, Ed yes!" She screamed out, her orgasm taking over as he licked her clean.

He smirked and let her legs fall, kissing up her body, wrapping her in his arms, he looked into her eyes, seeing them flooded with desire. "That good?"

Olivia smiled. "Ed Tucker you know how to eat pussy," she laughed and caressed his face with both hands. "Why don't we order room service. Some dinner that we can feed each other, champagne, strawberries, crack into that mini bar, body shots," she smiled. "We have the whole night to ourselves, we can do whatever we want."

Ed laughed with her and turned the shower off. "Let's wrap ourselves in robes, look through the room service menu, and find food we can share, maybe something I can eat off you, get some champagne." He smiled and nuzzled her neck.

She smiled and they walked out of the shower together and wrapped themselves in bath robes. "I should have taken the bobby pins out of my hair before we got in the shower." She wrestled them out of her hair. Then found Ed sitting in the bedroom. She sat next to him and kissed his cheek and looked over the menu. "We should have some protein if we're gonna drink. And make sure we have water or Gatorade or something." She looked at Ed. "I'm being overbearing, aren't I?"

He looked at her and kissed her softly, caressing his face. "I love you," he whispered. He felt her head on his shoulder and he took the hand with her wedding ring on it and he kissed her knuckles.

Olivia smiled. "I'm sorry I'm being overbearing." She wrapped her arms around him. She kissed the side of his head. "It's our wedding night, we shouldn't worry about getting a hangover. We should only be worried about pleasure and having fun."

Ed looked at her and smiled. "You're not overbearing." He kissed her. "I just—"

Her heart sank. "Please don't let the next words out of your mouth be that you're having second thoughts. I— I'm sex crazed right now. We haven't—" he cut her off with his kiss, caressing her face.

He pulled away. "I'm not having second thoughts. Never. I love you too much. And I love how much you want sex with me right now." he whispered. "I was going to say, I just can't believe that I married the love of my life, and that this is all real. It's just setting in that I'm the luckiest bastard on the planet."

Olivia ran her fingers through his short hair. "You're not a bastard." She saw his look and chuckled. "Okay, you were, but, not anymore. Now, you are the best father, the best man I could have ever asked for. I couldn't ask for a better man to help raise my children. One that he sired." She chuckled. "I'm sorry my mind went where it did, Ed. I know you love me. I have to get out of the mindset with you of waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's a hard habit to break. I'm working on it, like I said."

Ed looked at her. "I know you are. And I'll be here every day, for the rest of my life, telling you over and over just how much I love you." He kissed her softly. "But right now, I'm going to order room service, a lot of room service, and we're going to have a relaxed lazy dinner that we neither have to cook, nor clean up after, and we're going to have mind blowing sex all night long, body shots, champagne."

She moaned softly. "I don't know what's more of a turn on, not having to clean up or the mind blowing sex with the body shots," she laughed and kissed him. "Order room service before I take your robe off, and mine, and ride you." She kissed him softly.

He groaned and pulled away. "I need you to stop kissing me if I'm going to order." He smiled and picked up the phone in the room ordering an array of room service, a little bit of everything, champagne, strawberries. "Take your time. My wife and I aren't going anywhere." He smiled and nodded. "Thank you." He hung up the phone and looked at Olivia, untying his robe, before untying hers. "On your knees on the bed." He watched her let the robe fall to the floor.

Olivia climbed up on the bed and got on her hands and knees, moving her hips side to side. "Pussy, and then ass?"

Ed smirked and let his robe fall off and he climbed behind her, kissing her back, spanking her before pulling her hips back and thrusting into her in one swift motion, hearing her moan. "God, you feel so amazing," he whispered, gripping her hair and tugging gently.

She moaned, falling forward onto her elbows. "Fuck me, baby please." She begged. "Fuck me hard." She looked back, moaning as he gripped her hips. She moved her hips with the help of him guiding her as he pounded into her, occasionally spanking her. She was in ecstasy. All she could do was moan, words couldn't form in her head. All that was coming out of her mouth were single syllable 'ooh's and 'aaah's. She felt him pull her up by her hair. "Mm," she rested her head back on his shoulder as he thrust into her and rubbed her clit.

He smirked as his her moans got louder. "You're so sexy. So fucking hot." He ran his hands over her breasts, down to her hips, flicking her clit, hearing her moan out loud. "You gonna come for me? Come around my cock?" She screamed and started to milk him. "That's it. Just like that, come for me baby," he whispered feeling his own release grow.

Olivia moaned as her orgasm took over. "Oh!" She she felt Ed's release. She fell forward and panted, feeling him on top of her. "Fuck," she smiled. "Oh, you hit all the right spots inside me."

Ed smiled and kissed down her back. "God your moans were so sexy." He whispered. "Was it that good?"

She let out a soft moan. "Ed I couldn't talk. The ecstasy coursing through my veins it turned off my brain. I couldn't even tell you my name. Or yours, all my brain would let me focus on was the pure pleasure."

He ran his fingers over her back. "My beautiful wife," he whispered and rolled off her, slipping out of her, hearing her whimper at the loss of fullness inside of her. She rolled over and looked into his eyes. "The woman of my dreams. The love of my life."

Olivia caressed his cheek. "You're all I've ever wanted in a man. In a husband." She leaned in and kissed him gently. "I love you, Ed. I love you more than I ever thought was possible for me to love someone who wasn't my child. And you love me, you don't use me like every other man in my life, exes, my brother," she shook her head. "Im either an easy piece of ass that they can fuck and forget, or I'm an out when it comes to legal trouble. But with you, you love me beyond what I thought was possible for anyone to love me, beyond what I thought I was worthy of." She kissed him again, feeling his fingers running over her side.

Ed kissed her forehead, hearing a knock at the door. "Slide under the sheets, I'll get the door." He stood up and put his robe on, answering the door, letting them bring the carts in and giving them a tip, closing and locking the door. He brought the carts over to the bed and he smiled. "Dinner, my love, is served."

She smiled and sat up, moving to the edge of the bed and taking the domes off the food, smiling and eating a French fry. "Everything looks so good." She took a single spaghetti noodle and held it up for him, taking the other end in her mouth and they ate until they met in the middle, starting a mini makeout session before she pulled away. "Mm," she smiled and ran her hands over his chest.

He looked at her. "You're so beautiful, and everytime I kiss you, I get butterflies in my stomach, my heart flutters."

Olivia smiled. "I know the feeling. Everytime I kiss you feels like the first time." She cuddled up next to him. "We have so much food," she smiled. She got up and poured them glasses of champagne, handing him one. "I am so in love with you, and I am so excited that we get to spend the rest of our lives together." She clinked glasses with him. "To us." She took a sip and walked back around the bed, seeing him hold out a strawberry for her. She opened her mouth and sensually bit into the strawberry. "Mm," she chewed and took another sip of champagne.

Ed smiled when she held out a strawberry and he took a bite, juice dribbling down his chin, which she kissed away. "Juicy," he leaned in and kissed her slowly. She melted into him and he smirked, pulling away. "I can't believe the sexiest woman in the world is my wife."

She blushed. "I don't know about the world," she wrapped her arms around him.

He kissed her. "Hey, you didn't say you weren't sexy at all," he kissed her neck. "It's an improvement."

Olivia laughed. "I just mean, that there are definitely women who are sexier than me, because it's their job to be sexy, to be every man's fantasy. I don't want to be every man's fantasy. Just yours. And, I think I do that pretty well. Well, I hope so anyway."

Ed smirked. "You fulfill every single fantasy I've ever had, and some I didn't even know I had, until you came along, and I have to say… wow."

She smiled. "Yeah, like what?"

He laid her back on the bed and kissed her skin. "Like, I didn't know that I'd ever want to try anal with a woman. I didn't know how incredible sex could be, I didn't know anything about sex toys. You've made me a better lover, a smarter lover."

Olivia pulled him in for a kiss. "Anything you want to try, I'll try. Because I know that if it triggers something, or it hurts, you'll stop. But that whole tantric thing, I never even looked into it, but tantric sex is mind blowing and earth shattering." She smiled. "But everything we do, because we're so connected, is mind blowing." She pushed him up at sat up. "Let's eat, and then I need to pump, even though I can't use the milk from tonight, because I plan on drinking. But by the time we get home the alcohol will be out of my system and my milk." She kissed him. "And then I'm yours, we can be as naughty as we want."

Ed smirked and kissed her gently. "Are you just going to get rid of the milk?"

She looked at him, taking a bite of chicken. "I mean, unless you want it." She smirked and kissed his cheek. "I can't give it to Caroline. It'll have an alcohol content."

He fed her a piece of steak. "Have you tried it?"

Olivia shook her head, taking another sip of champagne. "While I can suck my own nipples, I have not tasted my own breast milk."

Ed crawled next to her. "You can suck your own nipples?"

She grinned and swallowed the bite of food she had in her mouth and lifted her breast, bringing her head down and taking her own nipple in her mouth, lightly sucking, not hard enough to get any milk out, moaning gently. "I don't have to anymore. I have you," She laughed and kissed him. "I can save some of this milk and we can try it together. Unless you want to suck it out of my breast."

He groaned. "Fuck, that's so sexy," he kissed her neck. "And while I want to taste your breast milk, I'm not a huge fan of the idea of drinking it out of your breast."

Olivia smirked. "So, after we eat I'll pump and put it in the fridge and we'll have a little taste test later. Sound good?"

Ed smiled. "It sounds amazing." Once she finished the bite of food in her mouth he kissed her passionately, laying her down and laying on top of her. Hearing her moan. A repeat of the way they started their day, only this time, they could do something about their arousal the way they planned on going through life. Together.

 **A/N: You may notice the way I left this. I left it in such a way that I can end the story here and continue the journey in a new story featuring Ed, Olivia, Noah, and Caroline. Or I can continue this one. You have until December 29th 2018 to tell me what you want in the form of a review. Also, yes I did research as to how long alcohol stays in breast milk, fear not. Anyway, leave a review telling me what you want. Here or on Twitter (couricshargitay)**


	30. Comfort

**So a whopping TWO of you left reviews on last chapter, but both of them begged me to keep going with this story, so if you wanted this story to stop, well, you should have said something. Shout out to Isabellamary who told me she'd literally die if I ended this story.**

Ed and Olivia had been married six months, and now, Olivia was going back to work. She planned on keeping her maiden name for work, but everywhere else, she was Mrs. Ed Tucker and she had never been happier. Olivia was sleeping, feeling Ed's lips on her neck she stirred. "Mm," she felt him kiss down her torso between her legs, licking up her wet slit, sucking her clit. "Oh," she moaned in a whisper.

Ed couldn't help but smile as he continued licking and sucking her most intimate area. She reacted more and more to him as time went on and she woke up more and more. "Morning," he whispered and took his time pleasuring her with just his mouth.

She arched her back and moaned. "Ed!" She gripped the back of his head, grinding her hips up into his face. "Just like that," she whispered, squeezing her breast.

He looked up at her and started quickly flicking her tongue over her clit, running his hands over her thighs. "You like that?"

Olivia gasped, feeling his tongue push inside her. "Fuck," she whispered. "God, that feels so good, baby."

Ed pulled her down the bed, causing her to let out a yelp. "Shh, the kids are still asleep." He smirked. "Now," he started sucking her clit again, releasing it only to whisper. "Come for me, let me taste your come," he whispered and went back to sucking her clit.

She closed her eyes and let the pleasure wash over her. "I'm so close," she whispered. "Don't stop!" She begged and felt her orgasm take over her body, her juices leaking from her core. She arched her back as he cleaned her up and kissed back to her lips. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him passionately.

He smirked and pulled away. "You're so sexy," he whispered, kissing her neck. "And I love that you've started sleeping naked again, because I love being able to suck your clit in the morning."

Olivia chuckled, looking into his eyes. "I love it when you suck my clit in the morning." She kissed him gently. "Best way to wake up."

Ed smiled and rolled off of her, wrapping his arms around her. "How was that as a way to start your morning for your first day back at work?" He asked, caressing her face.

She groaned. "These past 9 months, being home with you and the kids, it's been wonderful. And I'm going to miss you guys while I'm at work." She pouted and kissed him. "You sure you'll be okay with the baby all day by yourself?"

He smiled and kissed her gently. "Caroline and I will be fine. We'll watch some football, maybe some golf."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Don't torture the baby too much with the golf, okay?"

Ed leaned in and whispered in her ear. "You've golfed at the shore."

She looked at him and laughed. "Mini golf, putt putt." She raised an eyebrow. "Hey, If when Caroline gets older, she wants to be on the golf team and become a famous LPGA golfer I won't stop her, but golf bores me to tears. Why do you think I always distract you when you put it on? Certainly not because Phil Mickelson and Rory McIlroy get me horny," she whispered in his ear with a smirk. "I'm going to get in the shower and get ready for work. I'll be out soon." She kissed him slowly, and climbed out of bed, walking to the bathroom.

He watched her walk away and smirked. "God, I'm so lucky." He got up and put on a pair of boxers and pajama pants and a t-shirt, walking out to the kitchen and starting breakfast and putting coffee on to brew. He finished making Olivia's omelette and poured her coffee just in time her to walk out of the bedroom, clipping her badge and gun to her hip. He looked at her and his mouth fell open. "My God."

Olivia smiled and walked over to him and kissed him softly, slowly before pulling away, gently pushing up on his jaw, closing his mouth. "Like something you see, Captain?"

Ed gripped her hips. "You look incredible," he whispered and kissed her neck before pulling away. "Um, I made you breakfast. Just an omelette and coffee."

She kissed him quickly and sat at the breakfast nook, looking at him. "Where's your breakfast?" She asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

He grinned and looked at her. "Oh, I already ate," he winked.

Olivia looked at him and shook her head, taking a bite of her omelette. "Oh, Ed, this is amazing." She ate her breakfast and drank her coffee, walking over to the other side of the counter, wrapping her arms around him. "Okay, I'm going to get going. Call me if you need me, alright?"

Ed kissed her gently. "I always need you. I always will." He caressed her face. "Go kick ass. And, if you have any down time, think about hosting a party or wedding reception or something. It's a little bit belated, but never a bad time to celebrate being married to the most beautiful woman in the world."

She smiled. "I'll think about it. I'd love to get to dance with you," she whispered and kissed him gently, pulling back. "I need to go, before I get on my knees and repay you for this morning."

He groaned. "That would be," he let out a breath. "No, no, go. You can return the favor when you get home."

Olivia laughed and kissed him one more time. "Have a good day. I love you. Give the kids an extra hug from me, okay?" She felt his lips on her cheek. "I love you," she kissed him one more time and walked out of the apartment with her purse. She walked the few blocks to the sixteenth precinct, and walked in, noticing she was the first one there. She went into her office, noting it hadn't been touched. She took the new pictures out of her purse and set them up around her desk, pictures of Caroline, new pictures of Noah, pictures of her and Ed. She took a deep breath and sat in her chair.

The day went by relatively quickly for Olivia. There wasn't much to do, she caught up on emails and messages she had, oversaw operations, and delegated. Once five o'clock rolled around she was more than ready to get home. She packed up some files and headed out for the night, saying goodbye to her squad. "Heading out so soon?" She heard Amanda ask.

Olivia smiled. "Call if you need me for anything, but otherwise, I'll see you all tomorrow." She hit the button for the elevator, a smile on her face. She walked back home and walked in the door, smiling at the sight before her, Ed and Noah asleep on the couch, and Caroline in her pack and play. Olivia took her shoes off and put her things down, going over and picking Caroline up. "Hello my sweet girl," she whispered, seeing her play with her necklace and smile. She kissed her daughter's forehead. "Mama missed you," she whispered and held her close. She saw Ed stir and she smiled. "Look who's up, Caroline. Look, it's Daddy." She saw Caroline smile.

Ed stood up and kissed Olivia gently. "How was work?"

She smiled and looked at him. "Slow, which is a double edged sword. Means that there aren't as many reports, but that doesn't mean that these horrible things aren't happening." She held Caroline close and kissed her head, feeling her daughter hug her back. "My sweet girl," she whispered.

He kissed her forehead. "Focus on Caroline right now. It sucks Liv. Your job is painful, and it helps so many people out there, but we can't save everyone from pain. We can't protect everyone from pain. But what you can do right now, is be with your family, love your children."

Olivia felt tears slide down her cheek. "I know," she felt Ed wipe her tears. "And tonight, I'm going to spend time with my children, tuck them safely into bed, and then go to bed with my husband, and get lost in the state of pure ecstasy he puts me in."

Ed kissed her softly. "That sounds amazing." He rubbed her back. "I didn't start dinner, Noah said he wasn't feeling very well when he got home so we turned on cartoons and fell asleep."

She shook her head. "We'll get takeout." She smiled. "Noah say what was bothering him?"

He looked back at the boy, still sound asleep. "He was queasy. I gave him some ginger ale, he has a little bit of a temperature but nothing I'd be worried about."

Olivia nodded. "I'll make Noah some broth, we'll eat once the kids are in bed, if that's okay? I'm not really hungry right now. I know, I have to eat, but I'm not hungry. I'd rather just make Noah some chicken broth and spend time with my family." She handed Caroline to Ed and kissed him gently. "I just want to be a mom right now, and take care of my babies."

Ed kissed her back and smiled. "Whatever you want baby." He walked around a little with Caroline while

Olivia made Noah some chicken broth and pastina noodles, for a little bit of sustenance.

Once she finished she went over to Noah and stroked his cheek. "Sweet boy," she whispered, seeing him stir. "I made you some of the special chicken soup you like so much. With the little star noodles. You should try to eat my love." She kissed his forehead.

Noah looked at her. "I'll have a little bit."

Olivia smiled. "How's your tummy sweet boy?"

Noah wiped his eyes. "I still feel like I'm gonna throw up."

She smiled. "How about I bring you your soup and some Gatorade and you can eat here on the couch. Then maybe an early night since you aren't feeling well?"

Noah nodded. "Okay, mommy."

Olivia got up and got him a bowl of soup and a bottle of Gatorade. She brought it into the living room for him and kissed the top of his head, taking Caroline back from Ed. "My sweet, beautiful girl," she whispered. Caroline got fussy and she went to change her, but rather than just change her diaper she gave her a quick bath in the sink and then put lotion on her before putting her in a pink sleeper than had elephants on it. "There we go." She fed her a bottle, much to her displeasure she wasn't able to breastfeed for more than three months, even with the help of the lactation consultant. After Caroline was fed and burped she rocked her gently and sang to her softly, feeling Caroline nuzzle into her, watching her close her eyes and fall asleep. She put her in her crib. "Good night, sweet girl. Mama loves you." She walked back out to the living room. "Caroline's asleep."

Ed was sitting next to Noah on the couch, and he saw Olivia walk over. "You okay?"

She smiled and nodded, kissing him gently, moving to his ear. "I'm going to go lock up my gun, I'll be out in a minute." She kissed his cheek and walked into the bedroom, putting her gun in her gun safe, her badge on the dresser, and hot changed into one of Ed's t-shirts and a pair of his pajama pants, walking back out and sitting next to Ed on the sofa, looking at Noah. "Sweet boy, did you want to take a bath before bed tonight? If not, it's okay. I don't want you going to school tomorrow."

Noah looked at her. "No bath. Can I go to bed now, mommy?"

Olivia smiled. "Absolutely sweetie. Do you want a story?"

Noah shook his head and got up, hugging Olivia, then Ed. "Night mommy, night daddy." And he walked into his room and fell asleep.

Olivia watched Noah, she was going to be sure to keep an eye on him tomorrow. She looked at Ed and smiled. "We should order dinner," she whispered, looking from his eyes to his lips.

Ed caressed her face, meeting her eyes. "I want to devour you. I adore you."

She let out a breath and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. "I love you, Ed." She whispered, straddling him.

He ran his hands down her back, slipping into the pajama pants, grabbing her ass. "A thong, huh? Oh, your ass looks incredible in thongs."

Olivia groaned and started grinding her hips into his. "Mm, you make me so wet baby. No one has ever made as wet as you do, no one's ever given me such mind blowing orgasms. Every. Single. Time." She whispered in his ear. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back, letting out a breath slowly.

Ed watched her, his hands on her hips. "You're so sexy. I can't get over it."

She smiled. "I never want you to." She bit her bottom lip, pulling her hair out of the ponytail and shaking her head. "I'm a little hungry, I don't think I've had enough protein today." She giggled and kissed him, kissing down his body, getting on her knees in front of him. She pulled his pants and boxers down, she gasped seeing his erection. "Oh baby," she started stroking him. "I love your cock so much, it fills my pussy just right, it feels so good inside me. I love getting to suck it, I love tasting you."

He rested his head on the back of the couch. "Jesus, you're going to make me come and you've barely touched me."

Olivia smiled. "Have you been thinking about this, all day? Thinking about me on my knees sucking your beautiful cock, running my tongue over the veins, over the tip?" She heard him groan. "You're gonna come just from the dirty talk, aren't you?" She licked her teeth. "Well, as long as I still get to taste you."

Ed's breath was heavy. "Oh God, Liv. Keep going. Keep talking."

She bit her bottom lip. "I was thinking about this all day. We were so slow, my mind would wander to me, right here, on my knees, your cock in my hand, stroking it, my other hand in my panties, fingering myself." She let out a soft moan. "You pulled me up on the couch and fucked me from behind. So hard. You had me coming all over. Oh, it was so hot. I wish you could have been in my mind."

He closed his eyes. "Oh God, the thought of you behind your desk, your hips grinding into the chair, just trying to get even a little release from behind so turned on. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall in your office today."

Olivia smiled. "You like that image?" She kissed the tip of his cock hearing him groan. "Mm, come for me. I'll open mouth so you can come on my tongue. Oh, I'm so wet baby. Please come for me. I need it."

Ed groaned, feeling his release shoot into her mouth. "Jesus Christ," he sank back onto the couch, his chest heaving. "Get up here," he pulled her up and she sat on his lap.

She grinned and kissed him. "You like it baby?" She grinned and felt his fingers push into her panties and she gasped. "Oh, Ed." She moved her hips into his hand. "Oh, yeah," she groaned feeling three of his fingers push inside of her. Her eyes shot open and she groaned, slowing the pace of her hips. "Mm, yeah, right there." She gasped and let her head fall back, feeling his lips on her neck. Her hips grinding harder into his hand. "Oh my God. Oh, fuck me." She gasped and lifted her head and kissed him passionately as her orgasm took over. She moved his hand and looked at him, sucking on his fingers. She moaned and fell forward onto him. "That was amazing," she whispered.

He kissed her temple. "We should order food."

Olivia closed her eyes. "Uh-huh."

Ed rubbed her back. "You gonna let me get the menus?"

She smiled. "When I can move."

He picked her head up and kissed her slowly, standing up, holding her. She giggled and moaned. He turned around and set her down, pulling his pants and boxers up. He leaned over and kissed her. "I'll get the menus. We can get whatever you want."

Olivia kissed him back. "After my day, I need some good comfort food. Barbecue, corn bread, collards, maybe some mac and cheese." She leaned in and smiled. "Then I want you for dessert," she bit his earlobe and smiled.

Ed groaned. "We should order food, and when it gets here we should eat it in our bedroom," he leaned in and whispered. "Naked."

She sat up and kissed him, slipping her tongue past his lips. "Well we better order then, shouldn't we."

He moaned and nodded. "I'll call," he whispered, kissing her slowly.

Olivia smiled and moaned softly, standing up and wrapping her arms around him, before pulling away. "I'll call, since your lips seem permanently attached to me." She kissed him again. "Should I get a few things and we can share? Feed each other," she asked with a smirk. She felt him kiss her neck. "I'll take that as a yes." She called to place their order and managed to order their dinner while Ed had his lips on her neck, holding her hips. "Brisket and beef tips, collard greens, cornbread and—" she stopped and closed her eyes. "The baked mac and cheese." She tilted her head. "Half an hour? Perfect, thank you." She hung up and threw her phone on the sofa, pulling his lips to hers and kissing him.

Ed held her and walked her back towards the couch, sitting down with her. "I could kiss you all night," he whispered. Running his hands over her side. He held her close, feeling her lay back, pulling him with her.

She arched her back and moaned softly. "I love you so much, Ed." She whispered and let out a moan, feeling him wrap her legs around him. She grinned and nuzzled his nose.

He looked into her eyes. "The food needs to be here, now, because I need you naked. I want to feed you."

Olivia smiled and caressed her face. "You can lick the barbecue sauce off my body, if you want." She grinned and bit his ear lobe. She ran her hands over Ed's chest. "I should text Fin, let him know I'm not going in tomorrow."

Ed looked at her. "You're not?"

She tilted her head and looked at him. "We have a sick six year old and a seven month old. You're going to need an extra set of hands," she smiled and kissed him softly. "My children need me. My husband needs me. The three of you need to come first."

He kissed her gently. "You are an incredible mother, an incredible wife."

Olivia blushed. "I love my family, I could do more. I could be home and cook and clean, and be a traditional wife and mother."

Ed caressed her face. "Liv, you do so much for our family. I couldn't and would never ask you for more. You still have a passion for your work, I'm retired, I don't want you to step back if you're not ready."

She smiled. "I need to get used to SVU again. I forgot how dark it all is. I go from being the happiest I've ever been, to being thrust again into this world of pain and darkness. I have to remember to lean on you. You and the kids are the light in my darkness, but I can't lean on them."

He wrapped her in his arms. "You can lean on me whenever you need to. I want you to lean on me. You're a superhero all day long, I want you to come home and let all of that fall, and let me take care of you."

Olivia kissed him gently. "I'm getting better at that."

Ed smiled. "You are, and I'm so proud of you for putting yourself and your self care at the forefront." There was a knock at the door and he kissed her. "I'll get that." He grabbed his wallet and opened the door, paying for the food. He closed the door and smiled. "I'll get drinks and meet you in the bedroom. Get naked," he whispered and saw her walk into the bedroom.

She got in the bedroom and shed her clothes, sitting on the edge of the bed, resting back on her hands, crossing her legs. When she saw him she couldn't help but smile. "Let our night, begin," she raised an eyebrow.

 **A/N: And so ends Chapter 30 of Desire. Thanks for sticking with this story that was only meant to be 2 chapters. Leave a review here or on Twitter (couricshargitay). See you in Chapter 31!**


	31. That’s What Door Locks Are For

**It's officially 2019 here on the East Coast, so I'll wish you all a Happy New Year! This chapter left me stumped for a bit until I rewrote the latter 3/4 of this this morning. Enjoy!**

Olivia fell back against the mattress, kissing Ed passionately. She heard a knock on the door. She broke the kiss. "Hold that thought, get under the blankets." She got up and quickly put on her robe and opened the door to a crying Noah who had gotten sick all over his pajamas. "Oh, sweet boy."

Noah was inconsolable. "I'm sorry Mommy."

She stood up and walked him to his bathroom. "You don't have to be sorry, sweet boy. Let's get everything cleaned up, and I'll get you some medicine, okay? I'm going to start your bath, and then I'm going to get Daddy and have him get you some clean pjs and change your sheets, okay? If you need to throw up again, throw up in the toilet, okay?" She saw him nod and she walked back to the bedroom. And looked at Ed. "I need to give Noah a quick bath, can you do me a favor and get him a clean pair of pajamas and see if his sheets need to be changed?"

He got up and kissed her forehead. "Absolutely." He slipped into boxers and sleep pants and watched her walk back out of the bedroom.

Olivia got Noah bathed and cleaned up and put him in the clean pajamas Ed brought into the bathroom, Ed changed his sheets, they put all the dirty clothes and linens in the laundry. Olivia kissed Noah's forehead and realized his fever had gotten worse. She gave him some medicine and tucked him back in with a bucket next to his bed, in case he got sick again, and telling him to come get her if he did. Olivia walked back into their bedroom and closed their door. She slipped out of her robe and climbed into bed next to Ed and rested her head on his chest. "Thanks for your help," she whispered.

Ed kissed her forehead. "Anything for you and our kids." He saw her lift her head and she smiled. He caressed her face and kissed her gently. "I'm the luckiest man alive."

She smiled. "Mm. I'm luckier. My husband looks like he walked off a Calvin Klein billboard. Only I know you don't stuff your boxer briefs." She nuzzled into his neck and giggled. "You fit inside me so perfectly," she whispered.

He tilted her chin up and he kissed her slowly. "You're so incredibly sexy when you talk dirty," he whispered. He rolled her over onto her back, kissing her passionately.

Olivia let out a moan and wrapped her leg around his waist. She broke the kiss and closed her eyes. "Mm." She grinned.

Ed groaned and kissed down her neck to her chest, sucking her nipples, flicking them with his tongue, hearing her let out a moan. "I love the curve of your breasts," he whispered. "You're intoxicating."

She pulled him up to look into his eyes and then kissed him again. She moved her lips to his ear and let out a moan. "Fuck me," she whispered.

He pulled back and smirked. "You want me to fuck you from behind?"

Olivia's eyes darkened. "Get up and I'll get on my knees for you," she bit her bottom lip and felt him climb off her. She sat up and moved to her knees, arching her back. "Fuck me, baby."

He knelt behind her and caressed her ass. "Oh, I'm going to make you come so hard baby." He ran his hand over her back. He spanked her and she fell into the pillow, moaning. He smirked and grabbed her hips and thrust into her quickly, starting to thrust hard and fast inside her, spanking her every once in a while, tugging gently on her hair. Her face was in her pillow, muffling her moans.

Both Ed and Olivia were in ecstasy, Olivia was moaning like crazy, so neither heard their bedroom door open, but both of them heard Noah's horrified voice. "Daddy, what are you doing!?"

Olivia gasped. "Out, out!" She was talking to Ed, but Noah got scared and thought she meant him, and he ran back to his room, crying. Once Ed pulled out of her she wrapped herself in a robe and ran to Noah's room, knocking. "Sweet boy, it's mommy. Can I come in?" She heard his tearful whimpers and she felt Ed behind her. She opened the door and turned on the light, going over to sit next to Noah. "Sweet boy," she whispered and ran her fingers through her hair. "I'm sorry sweetheart. I'm sorry you saw what you did, and I didn't mean to scare you. We have a lock on our door for when we want to have private time, and we should have made sure the door was locked. I'm so so sorry, Noah."

Noah looked at her, tears in his eyes. "Was Daddy hurting you?"

She opened her mouth, her brow furrowed. "Oh, sweetie. No. Daddy would never hurt me." She brushed his cheek. "Daddy would never hurt any of us."

Noah hugged her. "Were you bad? Is that why Daddy was spanking you?"

Olivia took a deep breath. Noah was too young at six, almost seven, to be able to understand the nuances of pain and pleasure. "No honey, Daddy wasn't punishing me. Neither of us believe in spanking as punishment."

Noah nodded. "Do all girls like that?"

She smiled. "Spanking? No, honey, they don't. And it's important that you know that you never lay a hand on anyone, ever. When you're older and having private time with someone, you ask them permission before you do anything, including spanking. Got it?"

Noah nodded. "Okay, Mommy."

Olivia kissed the top of his head. "I love you, sweet boy. And I can't say enough how sorry I am. It must have been scary. Daddy and I were just having a little fun, showing how much we love each other. There isn't anything wrong with it, it's normal, once you get to be an adult. And I promise, we'll lock the door from now on. But you need to promise to knock. And if you don't hear one of us tell you to come in, knock a little harder. Okay, sweetheart?"

Noah closed his eyes. "Okay." He looked up at her. "I was coming to get you, because you said to if I got sick again," he said pointing to the bucket. "I'm sorry."

She looked over at Ed who got up and cleaned out the bucket, while Olivia brought him to the kitchen to get some water. "You don't need to be sorry, lovey. You did nothing wrong. But remember, what you saw is private between Daddy and me. If you want to or need to talk about it, come to us and talk about it, okay?"

Noah drank his water, taking small sips. "Okay." They brought the glass of water into Noah's bedroom and

Olivia tucked him back in and sang him a lullaby, seeing his eyes get heavy and closing.

"Good night my sweet boy." She kissed his forehead, getting up and walking back to the bedroom, locking it and standing against it, feeling tears in her eyes. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before walking over to the bed, shedding her robe and climbing into bed next to her husband. "I… I'm at a loss for words," she saw him start to respond. "And if you try to make this into a joke… I'm not in the mood."

Ed hugged her tight and kissed her head, feeling her body start to shake with sobs. "It's okay," he whispered. "It's okay." He rubbed her back and felt her body stop shaking and her breath even out. Soon he, too, was asleep.

Olivia woke up first the next day and walked into the bathroom. It was still early, everyone was still asleep. So, she ran herself a bath. She knew there were going to be questions. Questions she needed to clear her head to answer. She added lavender bath salts and once they were dissolved she stepped into the jacuzzi tub and sank down. As much as she wanted to use the jets, she knew they were loud and she didn't want to wake her husband. She let out a deep breath and closed her eyes, letting the stress wash over her. She heard someone walk in and she opened her eyes to see Ed. She smiled gently. "Did I wake you?" She asked groggily.

Ed sat on the edge of the tub. "Just your absence." He caressed her cheek. "I know you're embarrassed, Liv. But you handled it well."

She looked up at him. "I don't want him growing up to think that all women like and want rough sex." She wiped her eyes. "Any other position he walked in on, I wouldn't be this upset." She took a deep breath. "Though cowgirl may have equally scarred him just based off how much of his mother's naked body he'd have seen."

He got down on his knees so their eyes were at the same level. "So, we continue to talk to him about sex and consent. We answer his questions when he has them. I know what he walked in on must have been scary for him. What I'm worried about is that he's going to worry about me hitting him."

Olivia looked at him in the eyes. "You'd never do that."

Ed smiled softly. "I bet he thought I'd never let my hand slap you. Anywhere. He's six, he's not going to understand the connection of how sometimes pain comes with pleasure."

She took a deep breath. "What am I going to say if he asks why I like it?" She asked softly. "It's not exactly something Lindstrom and I talk about. The times we have talked about sex it's been about staying in the moment, I've never discussed my proclivities with him, I don't have an answer for that."

He rested his forehead against hers. "He may not even bring it up again, Liv," he whispered and kissed her softly. "Tell you what, you finish soaking and put on something comfortable, I'll worry about Caroline's diaper change and I'll make Noah breakfast. Some dry toast and ginger ale, check his fever." He touched her bare shoulder. "We'll get through this," he whispered.

Olivia smiled softly. "I don't even really want to finish my soak. It's not helping me get the answers I need like I thought it would." She sighed and sat up straight, bringing her breasts into Ed's view. "Can you get me a towel?"

Ed looked over her body and kissed her slowly, feeling her melt. He broke the kiss and smiled. "Anything for you, my love."

She had to catch her breath, his kisses literally took her breath away. Always. She saw him come back with a towel and she pulled the drain for the tub, stood up, and accepted Ed's help getting out. "Thank you." She smiled and dried off, before wrapping the towel around her breasts. She wrapped her arms around Ed and kissed him gently, slowly, their tongues making their way towards each other. She felt his embrace tighten. She broke the kiss and smiled. "You are the best husband I ever could have asked for, you know that?"

He rested their foreheads together. "You're a better wife than I ever could have hoped for." He ran his hands over her arms before kissing her again. "Get dressed baby," he whispered.

Olivia smiled and kissed him again before caressing his face, picking out a T-shirt and yoga pants. She put her bra and panties on, seeing Ed watch her. "You like?"

Ed walked over and kissed the back of her neck. "I love." He ran his hands over her sides, grazing the sides of her breasts. He heard her breathy moans and felt her head on his shoulder. "I love you, everything about you."

She closed her eyes. "I love you, too." She turned in his arms, caressing his face. "More than anything. Let me get dressed. I have to text Fin. I forgot to do that last night, our amorous romps distracted me." She smiled and kissed him again, quickly getting dressed. She grabbed her phone and sent a text to Fin, I can't come in today. Noah has something going on with his stomach. My family needs me. If something comes up, give me a call. Once she finished the text she smiled softly. "Let's go start the day."

He walked out to the kitchen with him, she made them both a cup of coffee while Ed worked on breakfast. "How are you? Right now?"

Olivia shrugged, taking a sip of her coffee. "I have a knot in the pit of my stomach."

Ed handed her a plate of bacon and eggs with toast and took his coffee. "Everything is going to work out. I promise." He kissed her temple. "I walked in on my parents. I'd like to think I'm pretty well adjusted."

She smirked. "Were they doing it doggy style? Was your dad spanking your mother?"

He shook his head. "It was the sixties. The craziest things two first generation Irish Americans did was cowgirl. Which happened to be what I walked in on. Well, actually, reverse cowgirl."

Olivia chuckled. "Go Mom." She took a bite of food. "I'll bet you didn't think your dad was hurting her."

Ed shrugged. "No, I didn't. But I also saw more of my mother than I cared to. I couldn't look her in the eye for a week, because I saw her naked."

She took a sip of coffee. "There are just two things I want. I don't want him to be afraid of you. And I don't want him thinking that every girl he meets, or guy, I don't know, wants to have rough sex or be spanked." She rubbed her neck and kept eating.

He rested against the counter. "The second one is easy, we just keep talking to him. The first one… we'll figure it out, if it even happens. Okay?"

Olivia nodded and put her plate and mug down, and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around him. "What would I do without you?"

Ed smirked and ran his hands over her back. "I don't know, I just know without you… Liv, without you I'd still be the same miserable old IAB cop, busting everyone's balls because I didn't trust anyone."

She kissed him gently. "I'm glad you trust me." She rested her head on his chest.

Noah walked out to the kitchen looking at his parents. "Mommy? Daddy?"

Olivia smiled and turned towards him. "Yes sweet boy?" She asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

Noah tilted his head. "Was what you were doing last night sex?"

She choked on her coffee and coughed. "Where did you hear that sweet boy?"

Noah shrugged. "At school."

Olivia took a deep breath. "Yes, sweetheart. It was."

Noah looked at his mother. "But you said that you have to be an adult to do that. Older kids say they do that all the time."

She took a deep breath and walked over to the couch with Noah. "Honey, ideally you wait until your an adult. Unfortunately it doesn't always happen that way, kids are talked into it by people older than them, or even kids the same age, when neither of them are ready. Yes, it can be fun and it can feel really good. But it can also hurt. It can hurt physically, and it can hurt emotionally, and a lot of kids just aren't ready to deal with the consequences that come from it."

"Like what?" Noah wondered.

Olivia smiled. "So, remember when we were talking about how babies get made, and I said a mommy and a daddy have things that mix together to start making a baby? The way those mix together is through sex. They can have babies, they can get sick, they can get heart broken, they can get really really hurt. That's why it's best to wait until you know in your heart that you're ready, and you're not rushing into it to feel good, or because you think it'll make someone love you."

Ed had wandered over and sat on the coffee table. "And, another reason to wait is that it feels even better when you're doing it with someone you love."

Noah looked at him. "Like you and Mommy?"

Ed nodded and looked at Olivia. "Like me and Mommy."

Noah kept his eyes on Ed. "You really weren't hurting her?"

Ed smiled. "I wasn't, at least I hope not. I know that if I was, even on accident, she'd tell me. And I'd stop." He looked at Olivia. "That's another thing that's important when you decide to start doing this. Trust."

Olivia smiled and leaned forward, resting her hand on Ed's knee. "Daddy and I love each other so much, Noah. We never want to hurt each other. Ever." She looked back at Noah and wrapped him in a hug. "And we love you, too!" She kissed his forehead. "So so much, and we love Caroline," just as she mentioned her name, Caroline started to cry. "Speaking of," she kissed Noah's head and got up, going to get her daughter. "Good morning sweet girl," she hugged her close, hearing her coo.

 **A/N: So, I had such a hard time because all the research I did on what to do if your six year old walks in on you is going under the assumption that you're in the missionary position under the sheets, probably with the lights off. Doggie style is not mentioned, nor is playful spanking. I went a totally different way and then I went to bed and woke up and rewrote everything from the point where Olivia goes into Noah's room on. So, I hope that the way I had Olivia and Ed handle it wound up being okay. Anyway, if you enjoyed this, leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay)! And again, Happy New Year! May it be better than 2018!**


	32. Little Spats

**This was a request. I, honestly, have been wanting to do this for a while, I just wasn't sure how to do it. So I did what I do best. I researched. And then I reread past chapters. So, enjoy.**

Ed watched Olivia as she cared for their daughter. He walked over to her and kissed her temple. "You're a wonderful mother."

Olivia blushed. "Thank you," she whispered. She looked at him. "She has your eyes, you know." She smiled and kissed his lips softly before rocking Caroline, putting her down for a nap. Noah was napping since he still wasn't feeling well. Once Caroline was in her crib, she walked back out to the living room and wrapped her arms around Ed. "Hello, handsome."

Ed smiled. "Hey, yourself beautiful." His smile didn't quite meet his eyes.

She noticed this. "Ed?" She raised an eyebrow. "What's goin' on?" She ran her hands over his chest.

He looked at her. "I— well." He cleared his throat. "I was just—" He took a deep breath.

Olivia rested her hand on his shoulder. "Ed, whatever it is, just tell me, I can take it."

Ed caressed her cheek. "I— are you ashamed of me?"

She held his head in her hands and shook her head. "Why would you ever think that?"

He pulled out of her hold and he immediately regretted it, seeing the look of dejection on her face. "You didn't want a big wedding, we haven't even planned a reception, you still use Benson."

Olivia took a deep breath, her hurt feelings turning to frustration and anger. "And I explained why I didn't want a big wedding, and why I was using Benson for work."

Ed moved closer to her, seeing her take a step back. "Then why haven't we even got a reception planned Liv!?" He raised his voice.

She glared at him. "Lower. Your voice, please." She took a step away from him. "We haven't planned a reception because we've been busy being parents. Sorry that's not enough for you." She slapped her thighs and turned to walk away, into the bedroom, then their bathroom, feeling a tear slide down her cheek. She wiped it away and sat on the edge of the tub and cried.

He hung his head and ran his hand over his face, looking at the bedroom door. He knocked softly. "Baby," he didn't hear an answer so he opened the door, hearing the bathroom door lock and the tub start, hearing her sniffling and her quiet sobs. "Liv, Honey. Please let me in."

Olivia sunk into the tub, turning on the jets, closing her eyes as tears continued to stream down her face. In that moment, she was heartbroken. She heard Ed talk to her, but she needed space. She let his knocking continue until, after about fifteen minutes it stopped. Her sobs became silent and the tears came harder. She only got out of the tub when the water got cold. She stepped out and pulled the plug on the drain. She wrapped herself in her robe and walked out to the bedroom, making eye contact with Ed, pausing for a minute and turning to their dresser.

Ed got up and moved to stand behind her. "Liv?" When he got no response he sighed. "Can you just look at me."

She steeled herself and turned around. "What?" She was fighting the tears. "Noah's probably going to be up soon and I should make him soup, so whatever more it is you have to say to make me feel guilty for prioritizing our children over a party, say it quick."

He let out a breath and rubbed the back of his neck. "I deserve that." He said gently. "I acted like an ass, and I'm sorry. I was trying to tell you how I felt, and I hurt you in the process, and I'll never forgive myself."

Olivia felt her lip tremble and she nodded. "I want a reception. I want a honeymoon. Ed, if you want me to I'll shout it to the world that I am madly, deeply in love with you. I haven't been the best wife the past few days, a lot has been falling on you and I'm sorry. Tell me what I have to do to prove to you just how much I love you, and that ashamed is the last thing I feel about you. A little little pissed right now, but not ashamed."

Ed stepped closer to her and wiped the tears from her eyes, seeing her eyes close. He kissed her slowly, feeling her hand on the back of his head. He broke the kiss. "I love you, Olivia."

She looked at him. "I love you too, Ed. You have to believe that." She caressed his face. "I would do anything for you. If it meant you'd live, and raise our children, God, Ed, I'd die for you." She felt another batch of fresh tears pool in her eyes.

He wiped her eyes. "I believe you. I never once meant to hurt you like this. I never want to be the reason you cry."

Olivia nodded and sniffled. "I never meant to make you feel like I'm ashamed of you. I consider myself the luckiest woman in the world." She ran her hands over his chest. "Promise me something?"

Ed looked at her. "Anything," he whispered, searching her eyes.

She looked him in the eyes. "Promise me you'll talk to me about how you feel, if I hurt you? Okay? So we can avoid spats like these."

He nodded. "I promise." He wrapped his arms around her. "I was afraid you were going to leave."

Olivia looked at him. "I told you I was going to shout the fact that I love you to the whole world?" She saw him nod and she smiled and stood on her tiptoes, her lips next to his ear. "I am madly, deeply in love with you, Ed Tucker," she whispered, pulling away and smiling.

Ed looked at her. "Why—"

She rested her finger over his lips. "You are my world, Ed. You, and Noah, and Caroline. The three of you are my world."

He kissed her passionately and walked her back up against the wall, pulling her leg up, hearing her moan, he used his free hand to untie her robe, sliding his hand that held her thigh up and gripped her ass. He broke the kiss, their chests heaving. "God, you're so sexy." They heard a knock at the door and they chuckled.

Olivia closed her robe again and smiled. "You can do whatever you want to me. Tonight." She leaned in and whispered. "I look forward to it," she bit his ear lobe. "We'll be out in a second sweet boy." She took out a red lace bra and thong set looking at Ed. "I just want you to see this now, so you know what's waiting for you later," she whispered, starting to put it on, never breaking eye contact with him.

Ed groaned. "Liv, I gotta go out there and you're making me hard." He whispered.

Her eyes travelled down his body as she took out a pair of sweats and an old NYPD sweatshirt. "I see." She licked her lips. "I'm going to go make Noah some soup for dinner, you… take care of that," she whispered, running her fingers over his erection through his pants, hearing him groan. "I'll meet you out there." She winked and walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her. "Hello, sweet boy. How does your tummy feel?"

Noah shrugged. "It's getting better."

Olivia smiled. "How about Mommy makes you some soup?"

Noah nodded. "Okay, Mommy!" He heard a noise from his parents' room. Olivia closed her eyes and Noah looked at her. "Mommy, what's Daddy doing?"

She smiled. "Ah, I'm not sure. How about we put on some cartoons for you?" She turned on the TV and then went back into the bedroom and locked the door. "I really need to teach you to be quiet when you're getting yourself off," she whispered.

Ed blushed. "You're just so sexy."

Olivia looked at him. "Hand or mouth?"

Ed looked at her. "What is happening?"

She looked at him. "What's happening is I'm going to finish you off, but you have to be quiet. And then we're going to walk out of this bedroom together. So, do you want me to use my hand or my mouth to make you come?"

He looked at her. "We don't have time for full on sex?"

Olivia's eyes went wide. "Ed! I'm stalling Noah as it is with cartoons, you really think he's going to be entertained for the next half hour while we fuck?"

Ed shrugged. "Can't blame a guy for trying."

She shook her head. "You're incorrigible." She sighed and took off her top. "Sit on the bed, you get off faster with my mouth."

He sat down and looked at her. She kissed him and he kissed back, squeezing her breasts. She groaned and he smirked. She kissed down his body and pushed him back, getting on her knees, stroking him. "Oh, Liv," he whispered.

Olivia smirked and licked up the underside of his shaft, playing with his balls, looking up at him as she took him completely into her mouth, feeling him in the back of her throat. She let him go with a pop and traced every vein in his penis with her tongue. "Mm, so hard baby," she whined and used both of her hands to stroke him before leaning down and gently sucking on his balls. She heard him bite back a moan and she smirked. "That's it baby. Come for me," she said in a whiney voice. "Ooh, let me taste you."

Ed's breath was heavy, feeling her mouth around him again. He let out a low groan as he released into her mouth.

She moaned and swallowed him and kissed back up his body before kissing his lips. "Better?" She asked in a whisper. She saw him nod. She giggled and kissed him again. "Get your pants back on," she whispered. "And then we're going to go spend time with our kids. Caroline should be up soon too." She picked up her top. Before she knew it, Ed was behind her massaging her breasts. She gasped and closed her eyes. "Ed, we—"

He leaned in to whisper to her. "How long is it going to take you to come?"

Olivia bit her bottom lip. "Your mouth would only take a couple minutes."

Ed spun her around and pushed her down on the bed, pulling her pants and panties down, licking up her slit, seeing her cover her face with a pillow, hearing her muffled moan. "That's it baby." He started to suck on her clit, pushing his fingers inside her.

She screamed into the pillow and arched her back, her orgasm building as he sucked on her clit and fucked her with his fingers. "Oh, fuck!" She mumbled into the pillow.

He grinned. "Come on baby. Come around my fingers." And she did, her come squirting out of her core, his fingers coming out of her so he could lick up all her juices, some of which had gotten on his shirt. "Jesus, fuck, Liv."

Olivia's chest was heaving. "Yeah, something like that." She closed her eyes. She looked at the bed and then at her husband. "You need a new shirt, we need to put clean sheets on the bed." She giggled and pushed herself to sit up. She watched him stand and followed suit. Her legs gave out, still shaky from the orgasm she just had. He caught her and looked at her. She leaned on him while she pulled her pants and panties up. She kissed him passionately. "You are so good at that." She pulled her shirt over her head. "Let's go hang out with the kids, now that we've both had a release. Mind blowing. For me, at least."

Ed caressed her face and kissed her again. "Me too," he whispered and kept kissing her. "Olivia Margaret Tucker, you are the most beautiful woman in the entire world, and I love you immensely."

She smiled and kissed him gently. "I love you, too." She held his face in her hands. "Never, ever doubt that."

He held her hips. "I promise," he whispered. He heard Caroline start to cry. "Let's go. I'll go hang out with Noah, you can get the baby. Unless you want me to get the baby?"

Olivia smiled. "I'll get her," she whispered and kissed him one more time, walking with Ed out to the living room, she made a stop in Caroline's room and picked her up. "Hello, baby girl," she whispered and kissed her forehead. "Are you not feeling good?" She asked and changed her diaper and then walked out with her out to the living room. "I think Caroline's getting sick, too. She feels warm." She said to Ed.

Ed looked at her. "I'll grab the thermometer." He got up and got the thermometer from the bathroom and handed it to her. It was a forehead thermometer so he watched Olivia run it over their daughter's head.

She let out a breath. "It's only 99.9," She looked at Ed. "I'm going to call Dr. Lee and let her know what's going on, see what she wants us to do." She kissed Ed's cheek. "I'm going to call her and then make Noah some soup."

He caressed her face. "I can make his soup," he whispered. "We're in this together."

Olivia looked at him and smiled. "Thank you." She kissed him gently, taking her phone and calling the Pediatrician. "Dr. Lee? Olivia Tucker. Great, Noah's feeling better, but now I think Caroline has something. I kissed her forehead when she woke up from a nap and it was warm, I took her temperature, and it's not too high, it's 99.9, what should I do?" She took a deep breath. "No vomiting, yet… Motrin? That was my thought but I wanted to make sure. Thank you." She hung up and walked into the bathroom to get the Motrin and put Caroline down for a moment so she could dose out the medicine. She picked her back up and gave her the medicine. "That's mama's big girl." She kissed her forehead gently, walking around with Caroline.

Ed made Noah's soup and got him a bowl. Olivia made Caroline a bottle of formula and mixed a little rice cereal in it, feeding her. Ed couldn't help but smile as he watched Olivia feed their daughter. He got up and walked over to her. "So we just monitor her fever?"

She smiled. "And if she starts vomiting or is lethargic or doesn't want to eat as much. Anything out of the ordinary. And then we give Dr. Lee a call. Don't we, little miss?"

He kissed Olivia's temple. "You're super woman," he whispered. "You're handling this so well."

Olivia smiled. "Noah went through a lot when he was little," she whispered. "I've learned how to take care of a sick kid without completely losing my mind."

Ed stood behind her and kissed the back of her head, supporting Caroline with one of his hands, and peeking down at her over Olivia's shoulder. "She's a beautiful baby."

She smiled. "She is. Noah was, too. I just wish they could stay little forever." She turned her head and kissed his lips softly. "Thank you for giving me our daughter."

He looked into her eyes and smiled. "You're the one who did all the hard work." He kissed her neck chastely. "I should be the one thanking you. For giving me our son and our daughter."

 **A/N: So, That wasn't the biggest fight I could have written, but I didn't know what to have them fight about. So, since it was a small fight I had it be resolved quickly. I hope you enjoyed it. Leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay). See you next time.**


	33. To the Test

**Ciscokid to the rescue. She suggested this plotline and it took the inspiration I had writing this story and upped it like crazy. I sobbed writing this chapter (I'm overly emotional, I don't try to hide it).**

Ed was in the bedroom getting changed, Olivia was cleaning up the apartment. Noah was finally feeling better and was back at school, but now Caroline was sick and had started throwing up, she had just thrown up all over Ed, so while he changed Olivia continued to work on disinfecting the apartment. She heard a knock at the door, expecting it to be her squad she opened the door only to see him. "Elliot." She was frozen. Never in her life had she been afraid of Elliot Stabler. Until this moment. He had no way of knowing where she lived. "What do you—" he cut her off with a kiss. She struggled to move out of his strong arms, to tear her lips from his.

Ed walked out of the bedroom. "What the hell is going on here?"

Elliot finally released her from the kiss and he wrapped his arm around her, claiming his territory. "Seems my girl finally came around."

She wiped her mouth and turned and pushed him away. "Get out of our house before I call the police."

Ed stepped closer. "Or before I throw you out on your ass."

Elliot looked at him. "You think I'm afraid of you?"

Olivia turned to him with a fire in her eyes Elliot had never seen. "You have five seconds to walk out the door or I will personally break every one of your fingers." She watched him leave and she closed and locked the door, tears finally starting to form.

Ed looked at her, a fire of his own in her eyes. "What the hell was he doing here?"

She glared at him. "What, you think I invited him? Are you kidding?"

He crosses his arms. "He got our address somehow."

Olivia shook her head and moved to walk past him. "I can't believe you think I'd invite him here."

Ed grabbed her arm and looked at her. "You still haven't said you didn't."

She snatched her arm away from him. "I shouldn't have to tell you I didn't! I haven't done anything!"

He looked at her. "Sure looked pretty cozy in that kiss."

Olivia shook her head. "He ambushed me." She felt the tears in her eyes. "What, you think I'm cheating on you? You really think I'm that much of a whore?"

Ed looked at her, pointing. "Don't put words in my mouth, Olivia."

She shook her head. "I don't have time for this." She pushed past him and started cleaning again. Tears of anger streaming down her face.

He watched her and he sat on the couch, Caroline in his arms. He was somewhere between angry and heartbroken. He looked over his shoulder. "What do you want for dinner."

Olivia wouldn't look him in the eye. She knew she'd lose all composure if she did. "Crow?" She spat out. Once she had the kitchen disinfected she moved into Noah's room to disinfect his toys and strip his bed to wash the sheets. She turned around and saw Ed standing there and she jumped, gasping. "Jesus Christ." She put her hand on her chest. She took a deep breath. "Can I get through, please, I need to get to the laundry room."

Ed stayed where he was, looking at her. "Why was he here? Why was he kissing you?"

She shook her head. "I don't know Ed! I don't know." She moved closer. "Let me through." She saw him step aside and she walked to the laundry room. She walked past Ed, muttering under her breath. "Married for less than a year and you accuse me of cheating." She moved to pick up Caroline, holding her tight, tears starting again. "Mama's here. Yes she is."

He looked at her. "Do you still love him?"

Olivia whipped her head around, and laughed. "That's so absurd it doesn't even deserve a response." She noticed that Caroline had fallen asleep and she went to put her in her crib, closing the door. She walked back out. "If you think I'm still in love with a man who left me after 12 years without a word, why are you here?"

Ed looked at her. "Because I thought you loved me."

She ran her hands over her face. "I do love you, Ed! I opened that door to see Elliot and I was terrified."

"Terrified I'd find out?"

Olivia scoffed and shook her head. "I may be a lot of things, Ed. But a cheater is not one of them." She moved past him and continued her cleaning spree. She stopped and looked at him. "I was terrified that he was even here because I never gave him this address. I was done with him. I never wanted to see him again. I still never want to see him again. So, take it or leave it. You're going to believe what you're going to believe. I love you with every fiber of my being. I'm sorry I do such a terrible job at showing it that you can't believe me." She went back to cleaning, and crying.

Ed watched her and sighed. He was angry, and he realized his anger was likely directed at the wrong person, but seeing Elliot kiss her like that made his heart shatter. Dinner came and went, the adults were silent, only talking to Noah about his day. Once the kids were in bed they went into their bedroom. He sat on the bed while she got ready. "Look at me?"

She looked ahead of her. "Why? So you can call me a whore again? No thanks, I'll pass."

He ran his hands over his face. "I never said that, and you know it."

"No, you only implied I was cheating on you and was still in love with a man who broke me." She walked to the bed and climbed in on her side, her back facing him.

"Oh no, we're not going to sleep yet. We're hashing this out."

Olivia took a deep breath. "What do I need to do to get you to understand that I love you more than I could ever put into words, and that I'm over Elliot Stabler, that him showing up at our house terrified me?"

Ed shook his head "I don't know, Liv."

She let out a sardonic chuckle. "Awesome. Good talk. Worked out so much." She wrapped the blankets tighter around her.

He lay on his side looking at her. "Please don't do this."

Olivia rolled over, her face stained with tears, her eyes puffy. "Me? Really? Newsflash, I didn't do anything!" She rolled onto her back. "I can't believe you're blaming me for what happened. What happened to trust?"

Ed looked at her. "Okay, I'm sorry." He moved closer. "I'm mad at Elliot."

She let out a frustrated sigh. "And I become the verbal punching bag." She shook her head. She rolled over and she sighed. She said and closed her eyes. "Maybe eventually you'll believe me." She felt a fresh batch of tears fall.

He was screwing up lately. In less than a week he'd started two fights with her, both of which ended in her crying. He heard her silent sobs, and he wanted nothing more than to hold her.

Olivia wiped her eyes. "I love you, Ed. Even if you don't love me. Even if you don't trust me. I love you, and I trust you. And I would never hurt you. Ever." She closed her eyes. She felt his arm around her and she cried silently.

Ed kissed the back of her head. "I could never stop loving you."

No more words were said that night. Ed held her and she cried silently. Neither got any sleep. When the sun rose, Olivia sat up. "I'm, um… I'm gonna sleep in the guest room. Until you can trust me again, I think it's best." She nodded and grabbed her pillow and phone and walked into the guest room, closing and locking the door, resting her back against it as she sobbed, sliding down the door. Her head falling back against it. She was exhausted and heartbroken. She got up and climbed into the bed and curled up into a ball, crying herself into a fitful sleep. This was it, she thought. The beginning of the end. She looked at her wedding ring. She let out a breath and the tears eventually stopped. She wasn't sure if she had no more tears left, or if she'd finally calmed down. "What do I do?" She wondered out loud. She heard a knock on the door. She wiped her eyes and opened it, seeing Ed on the other side. Her lip trembled. "I'll leave. If you hate me," she gasped and sobbed. "I'll go. I'll be the bad guy. We'll figure out custody. But if you can't love me—"

Ed cut her off with a kiss. She kissed him with every ounce of love and passion she had. He walked her into the room and closed the door, turning her around and pushed her against it, breaking the kiss. "Olivia Margaret Tucker, I could never hate you. I love you with all my heart. I've been a shitty husband lately. These fights, they all come from my own insecurity, and now I have you questioning my love for you. I never, ever wanted that." He wiped her eyes. "When I swore to love you forever, I meant it." He pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm sorry I didn't see what happened with Elliot for what it was."

She buried her face in his neck. "I was so scared," she cried and held him tighter. "I was scared of him, and then I was afraid I was going to lose the only man I've ever loved like this." She was hysterical and couldn't stop crying. "Please don't go. Please. God please." She gripped his shirt.

He rubbed her back. "Shh, shh, shh. I know, and I'm sorry. I'm not going anywhere, baby. He walked her over to the bed and lay down with her and held her as she cried herself to sleep, exhausted from crying so much, but feeling safe now that she was in the arms of the man she loved, who loved her. "I'm so so sorry," he whispered as she slept, intending on telling her once she woke up.

Olivia woke about two hours later to see Ed sleeping next to her, and she curled further into him, the beating of his heart comforting, knowing that she was the only one it beat for. She felt Ed stir and she looked up at him. "We're gonna get through this." She wiped her eyes.

Ed caressed her face. "We will. I know we will."

She looked up at him and nodded. "He scared me yesterday, and there is nothing stopping him from showing up again." She let out a breath. "There is no way for him to find our address. I haven't put it anywhere." She sniffled and nuzzled back into him.

He held her tight. "I will support you whatever you want to do. I've got your back."

Olivia smiled. "Thank you." She lay in his arms a little while longer. "I'm sorry I accused you of calling me a whore. I know you'd never… I was hurting."

Ed held her tighter. "I'm the one who should be apologizing, for even thinking for a moment that you'd cheat with Elliot, with anyone." Ed rubbed her back.

She looked up at him. "Ed, I love you so much," She caressed his cheek and kissed him passionately, feeling a couple tears run down her cheeks. She felt him roll her onto her back and kiss her neck, she sighed and closed her eyes, allowing herself to get lost in the feeling of what he was doing to her body. The pleasure. "Oh, Ed."

He needed to kiss every inch of her. He pulled her up and took off her shirt, kissing her chest and laying her back down, her bare breasts now exposed. He kissed each one, he sucked on each nipple, hearing her soft moans. He kissed down her abdomen, running his tongue in a circle around her belly button. "You're so beautiful."

Olivia looked down at him, tears still running down her cheeks. He pulled her sleep shorts and panties off and he kissed her clit, sucking gently. She gasped and groaned when she felt his fingers inside of her. "Baby!" She felt his lips kiss back up her body, and she saw it, he had tears running down his face too. She pulled him into a kiss, her hips grinding into his hand as she got closer and closer to orgasm. He pulled his fingers out before she finished and he broke the kiss, licking his fingers. She let out a groan and pushed his boxers down, and he sat up pulling his shirt over his head. He moved back to cover her body. He slowly pushed himself into her, and pressed their bodies together. She buried her head in the crook of his neck as he moved inside her, his body never leaving hers. She felt his tears on her shoulder, and she moved to kiss him. She cradled his face in her hands, both crying as they made love, both crying as they released. Once they finished Olivia pulled away and looked at Ed. "I love you," She wiped her eyes. "I love you so much."

Ed wiped his own eyes. "I'm sorry I ever doubted you. I'm sorry I made you question whether I still love you." He rolled to his side and held her gently, looking into her eyes. "I will never stop loving you. I get so insecure, and that led to jealousy."

She ran her hands over his chest. "Baby, why are you insecure?"

He ducked his head, sheepishly. "Olivia, you're too good for me. You're out of my league in the looks department, and you're just a good person."

Olivia lifted his chin. "I'm not just one thing, Ed. No one is. I've done terrible things in my lifetime. But you, Ed Tucker, are so handsome, and so sexy. And you are a good person." She rested her hand over his heart. "I wouldn't be here if you weren't a good person. A good man." She kissed where her hand was. "And with Elliot, you have nothing to be jealous about, or insecure." She looked up at him and shrugged. "He's selfish." She said softly. "He's a selfish lover, a selfish man. I faked every orgasm he thinks I had with him." She looked up at him and she kissed him gently. "I've never had to fake it with you." She snuggled into him. "Wait, where are the kids?"

Ed looked down at her. "I had Lucy bring Noah to school, and my mom has Caroline for a bit. I told her we needed some time to ourselves today." He saw her smile. "I missed your smile." He ran his hands over her bare back. "I forget sometimes, that I'm a good person." He said gently. "And, I'm glad I can make you come. Really, truly, make you come." He whispered.

She smiled. "You prioritize my pleasure, that's why I come." She kissed him gently. "And thank you for taking care of the kids." She smiled and kissed his chest again. "Can we put this all behind us? Because I don't want any other man. Ever." She smiled. "I just want you, over and over again, forever and ever." She felt him kiss her and she smiled. "Now, can we get back to our own bed?" She smiled. "I'm exhausted and I just want you to hold me. I want to feel safe." She sighed. "What if he keeps showing up, Ed?"

He kissed her forehead. "Then we press charges and get a restraining order."

Olivia took a deep breath. "The kids, Ed. What about the kids?" She felt his hand lightly stroking her back. "Am I overthinking this? I just… after Sheila, Noah doesn't need any more trauma in his life." She let out a breath. "I never thought I'd be afraid of him." She curled into his chest.

Ed rubbed her back. "I'll protect you. With my life, I will protect you."

She looked up at him. "Don't you dare die on me, I need you."

 **A/N: Okay, some people are probably going to be really mad at me for this chapter, but honestly, I can see Elliot acting this way had he found out Olivia was with Tucker. Maybe it's just me, I don't know. Anyway, leave a review, here or on Twitter, (couricshargitay). See you soon!**


	34. Bandaids Don’t Fix Bullet Holes

**Just a note to the guest reviewer who said they felt like Olivia was being berated verbally after what Elliot did, you're right. I wrote it that way because I wanted to show Ed jealous and insecure, because he's human, he's not perfect. We all have flaws. Anyway, THIS chapter is intense, and it's a climax of last chapter. It'll get happy again.**

Olivia sat in the waiting room, her daughter in her arms, Noah was sleeping, his head leaning back, and Caroline on her other side. She felt guilty. This all happened because of her. She looked over at Caroline. "I'm so sorry," she cried, apologizing to Ed's mother for the thousandth time since she first made the call from the ambulance.

The doctor approached them. "Mrs. Tucker."

 **———————— 3 Hours Earlier —————————**

Olivia slipped the earring into her ear and put on the back. "Mom here yet?" Olivia and Ed decided that after the tumultuous few days they had, they needed a date night. Caroline was kind enough to watch the kids. She walked out in her dress, turning around and having Ed zip it up.

Ed kissed her neck. "You are stunning." He fussed with his tie as Olivia slipped into her shoes. "Mom's hanging out with the kids."

She helped him tie his tie and she ran her hands over his chest. "You look so sexy." She kissed him softly.

He held out his arm, she put her phone in her clutch and she took his arm. They thanked Caroline and told her to call with any issues. They walked outside, where they saw him. Elliot. They froze. "What do you want?"

Elliot nodded to Olivia. "I want her." He grabbed her and pulled a gun, pointing it at Ed. "Walk away and no one gets hurt.

Olivia screamed. "Ed! Go, please," she begged, not wanting him to get hurt, or worse, killed. Tears started streaming down her face.

Ed looked at her. "Let Olivia go," He said, his hands up.

Elliot scoffed and looked at Olivia. "Are you finally seeing what a coward he is?"

Olivia looked at Ed. "I love you," she mouthed, tears running down her face. "Elliot, Ed's not the one holding a man at gunpoint. Just— Just let us go, okay? And we'll just forget this ever happened.

Elliot turned the gun and pointed it at Olivia, flush against her temple, and she whimpered. "You could really forget me, bitch?"

Ed lunged forward, trying to wrestle the gun away from Elliot, when he fired, sending a bullet through Ed's arm. Ed groaned, seeing Olivia elbow him in the gut, and running to his aid. "Olivia, get inside!"

Olivia caressed his face. "I'm not leaving you." Thankfully, a bystander had called 911, the police arrested Elliot and an ambulance was heard in the distance. Olivia put pressure on the wound. "It's okay baby. The ambulance is coming," she whispered, resting his head against her chest.

Ed groaned in pain. "Oh, God, it hurts."

She rested her hand on the side of his head. "I know. Shh, shh, shh. Stay with me, Ed." The ambulance pulled up and she sprang into police mode. "Male, 50s, gunshot wound to the right bicep." She helped them get Ed in the stretcher, blood soaked her dress, but she didn't care. She ran alongside the stretcher and climbed into the ambulance with him. "It's okay baby. It'll all be okay." She looked at Ed. "Don't you dare let go." She cried and rested her forehead against his hand.

He looked over at her. "Call mom," He said weakly.

Olivia let out a breath. "I didn't even think of that," she kissed his forehead and pulled her phone out and called Caroline. She heard her mother in law's voice and her composure broke. "Mom. Um, we're… we're on our way to Mercy General." She took a deep breath. "Ed got shot," she cried and nodded. "Okay." She hung up and kissed Ed's hand. "She says she loves you and she's going to meet us there." She ran her fingers through his hair. "You rest." She whispered, tears running down her face.

Once they pulled up to the hospital the EMTs rushed him in and she walked in and took the paperwork to fill out, knowing they needed time and space to work. She filled out the paperwork and saw Caroline walk in with her kids, Noah rushing over to her. She knelt down and hugged him. She looked up at Caroline. "I'm so sorry," she cried.

Caroline hugged Olivia. "For what? You didn't do this."

Olivia cleared her throat. "It was my ex partner who— who shot him. Ed was trying to save me." She hung her head.

Caroline rested her hand on Olivia's arm. "You didn't pull the trigger." Caroline saw her granddaughter reach out for her mother and Olivia took her and held her close. "How is he?"

Olivia wiped her eyes. "He was in a lot of pain. He lost what looked like a lot of blood, but it was hard for me to judge." She shook her head.

Noah looked up at her. "Mommy, where's Daddy?"

Olivia sat in the chair, holding Caroline tight. "Sweet boy, Daddy got hurt, and the doctors are working to make him all better."

Noah looked at her. "Was he bleedin'?"

Olivia bit the inside of her lip. "Yes, sweet boy. But the doctors are going to help him." She got up and walked around the waiting room with her daughter. "I need to know what's going on."

Just then a doctor walked into the waiting room. "Mrs. Tucker?" Olivia approached him. "Your husband is stable, but there is a fracture of the bone, and a couple bullet and bone fragments that we need to go in and remove before we can set and cast his arm."

Olivia nodded. "Okay, Whatever you need to do." She wiped her eyes and walked back to sit next to Caroline. "We should have got the order of protection," she kicked herself. "Damn it," she whispered.

Caroline looked at her. "Olivia, a piece of paper wouldn't have stopped this from happening."

Olivia nodded. "I know, I just feel guilty." She kissed her daughter's forehead. "If he weren't with me he wouldn't be on a surgery table." She sobbed and closed her eyes.

Caroline looked at her. "Olivia, if my son weren't with you, that little girl in your arms wouldn't be here. You know he'd do anything for you."

Olivia nodded. "I'm sorry." She said gently. "I'm making this about me, he's your son."

Caroline nodded. "I had a feeling he'd be shot while he was on the force, but I also knew, the way he talked about you, that he'd take a bullet for you."

Olivia took a deep breath. "Elliot Stabler can rot in a jail cell." She spat.

Caroline got up and went to go get coffee and food, bringing some back for Olivia and Noah. They waited for hours. Olivia sat in a chair in the waiting room,her daughter in her arms, Noah was sleeping, his head leaning back, and Caroline on her other side. She felt guilty. This all happened because of her. She looked over at Caroline. "I'm so sorry," she cried, apologizing to Ed's mother for the thousandth time since she first made the call from the ambulance.

The doctor approached them. "Mrs. Tucker."

Olivia stood up and walked over to him. "Yes?" She asked her voice shaking.

The doctor smiled. "He's going to be fine. He's in recovery, he's still out, and just per hospital protocol, we ask that it be just you that goes back. He should be good to go home tonight."

Olivia let out a breath. "Thank you." She handed her daughter off to Caroline and hugged her. "We'll be home as soon as we can." She watched them leave and followed the doctor back and saw Ed, she let out and breath and ran over to him, sitting on his good side taking his hand, kissing his knuckles. "Baby," she whispered and ran her fingers through his hair. "I'm right here," she whispered. She felt his finger move against her cheek. She looked at his face to see his eyes open. "Ed!" She stood up and leaned in and kissed him passionately, tears running down her face. She pulled away and caressed his cheek.

Ed looked at her. "What happened?"

She sniffled. "You got shot. They needed to get some of the bone and bullet fragments from your arm."

He looked at her. "Who shot me?"

Olivia's lip trembled. "Elliot. You moved to get his gun after he took it off you and he held it to my head," She caressed his face again. "I'm so sorry baby," she looked at him. "We should have gotten that order of protection," she whispered.

Ed shook his head. "It wouldn't have stopped him." He caressed her face. "Did he get you?"

She shook her head. "No, you saved me. They arrested him."

He smiled. "All that matters is that you're okay," he whispered and pulled her in for a kiss. "Sorry about your dress."

Olivia shook her head. "It can be cleaned, and if it can't I can buy another dress. All I care about is that you're alive," she rested her forehead against his.

The doctor looked at them and cleared his throat. "Mr. Tucker, there was some fracture to your upper arm, we had to go in and take a couple pieces of bone and bullet. You'll be in a cast and an immobilizer for a couple of months, at the least, and then you'll have physical therapy after. I'm going to prescribe you some opioid painkillers, but you can go home tonight. We'll fill it in the hospital pharmacy."

Ed nodded. "What about sex doc?"

Olivia's eyes went wide. "Ed!"

The doctor smiled. "As long as your wife is on top so you aren't putting pressure in the arm, you're good to go."

Olivia looked at him. "But not until you're feeling better. But I'll kiss you all you want."

Ed looked at her and pouted. "Not even once."

Olivia shook her head. "I'm not saying never again, just a few days while you're doped up." She smiled and signed the discharge papers. "When should we follow up with the doctor?"

The doctor took the papers and smiled. "In a day or two."

Olivia nodded. "Thank you." She watched him leave and she kissed Ed slowly. "We should get you dressed in some scrubs, or sweats or something."

Ed ran his good hand over her arm. "You sure you're okay?"

She looked at him. "You're alive, I'm fine. I may have a bruise on my arm from when he pulled me, but I'm okay," she whispered and and caressed his cheek. "I promise."

He took her hand and kissed her knuckles and pulled her, hugging her close. "I love you," He whispered.

Olivia kissed the top of his head. "I love you, too." She felt tears prick her eyes and she wiped them away. She looked at him before she sat next to him on the bed. "You're not allowed die first. You hear me? Even though it was only your arm, the possibility of living without you kept running through my mind and I just…" she shook her head. "You're not allowed to go first."

Ed looked at her. "I'm not going anywhere." She kissed him and cradled his face in her hands. He heard her moan and he smirked, pulling away gently, wrapping his arm around her. "I want to go home," he whispered.

She smiled and pressed the button for the nurses. When one came in she smiled. "Can we have something that my husband can wear home?" She smiled when the nurse brought her a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt. She smiled. "Thank you." She pulled the curtain and she got on her knees.

He looked at her. "What are you doing?"

Olivia smiled up at him. "Giving you a blowjob."

Ed let his mouth fall open. "Really?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "No, not really. I'm helping you get dressed. Naughty nurse happens once you're no longer doped up on painkillers." She winked and helped him put his pants on, pulling them up to his hips, taking his hospital gown off, putting the sweatshirt over his head, helping him get his good arm through. She put on his socks and dress shoes. "Well… it's a look. We're only getting in a cab and going home." She stood up and kissed him softly. We'll have to switch sides of the bed, until the cast comes off. So you can roll on your side if you want. And so I can still rest my head on your chest. Though all of my toys would then be on your side." She thought for a minute. "Ah, who am I kidding I'm going to be letting you pick for a while." She winked and wrapped her arms around him. The nurse came back in with a wheelchair and his filled prescription. She helped Ed into the wheelchair, walking beside him outside, hailing a cab, helping Ed into the back seat. She gave the cabbie their address and within a half hour they were home. She helped him out and walked to the elevator with him, hitting the button for their floor. Once they were inside she kicked her heels off and helped Ed take his shoes off. "Go lay in bed," she whispered, seeing Caroline on the couch. "I'm going to get you some water and I'll be in." She watched Ed walk to their bedroom. She got a couple bottles of water out of the fridge.

Caroline woke up. "Olivia?" She asked, hearing a female voice.

Olivia smiled. "It's me, mom." She walked out. "I hope I didn't wake you. Thank you for taking care of the kids. You could have crashed in one of the guest rooms. In fact you still can. You're welcome to stay."

Caroline smiled. "I love spending time with my grand babies. And don't worry about it, I'm going to head home. We all need a good night's sleep."

Olivia hugged her tight. "Be safe," she whispered. She watched Caroline leave and she made sure the door was locked every way it could be behind her. She walked into the bedroom, seeing Ed on what was normally her side of the bed. She smiled and climbed into the bed on the other side of him, kissing him gently, opening his water bottle for him, handing it to him. "Do you want a pain pill?"

Ed looked at her. "I want this date night to end better than it started."

She looked at him. "So, yes? No?"

He shook his head. "I want you. You want me not doped up, Elliot stole our date night, I won't let him steal sex tonight, too."

Olivia caressed his face. "You're sure?" He nodded. "If it hurts too bad, you'll tell me?"

Ed looked at her. "It probably will hurt."

She looked at him. "Ed, I'm not going to do something that's going to hurt you."

He looked at her. "I don't want you to leave because of this."

Olivia caressed his face. "You saved a bullet from going into my brain. Baby, I'm not leaving. You're stuck with me."

Ed pulled her down and kissed her passionately, hearing her groan. He felt her pull away and saw her smile. "It's been less than a day and I already can't wait to make love to you again."

She smiled and lay her head on his chest "I know baby. Soon." She smiled and kissed his chest. "But I'll tell you what, while you're healing, I'll keep things interesting for you. I'll give you plenty of shows, maybe do a strip tease or two for you, let you pick out toys you want to watch me play with. I'll suck your cock, if you want to taste me, I'll sit on your face. Whatever you want, my wonderful sexy husband," she looking into his eyes. "My hero." She kissed him again and broke the kiss. "We can start the fun right now if you want. I'll help you sit up and let you pick out a toy from the drawer. Or two," she bit her bottom lip. "Unless you want me to focus on you."

He pulled her back down and kissed her. "Help me up. I have one good hand I can use while I watch you."

Olivia bit her bottom lip and sat him up and let him rummage through her drawer, anticipation making her wetter and wetter with each passing second. "Whatever you want baby. Let me put on a show for you."

Ed looked at her. "You horny enough for the fleshlight?"

She grinned. "Mm, I need something inside me," she whispered.

He picked out a double penetrating dildo with a suction cup on one end and and some lube. "Find something to attach this to and then ride it," he whispered and he watched her groan, taking it from him, pulling their coffee table into his line of sight, sticking the suction cup to the glass. She took her dress off, followed by her bra and thong. She put lube on both fake penises and she moaned. As she pushed the thinner one into her ass, moaning, before sinking onto the thicker one with her pussy. "Oh, Ed!" She gasped, holding her breasts in her hands, starting to ride it. "Oh, fuck me baby!" She sighed.

Ed watched her, stroking his cock as he watched her wildly riding the toy he picked out for her. "Tell me how much you like it."

She groaned. "Oh, God. I love it." She leaned down and took her nipple into her mouth, sucking on it, moaning more, her free hand rubbing her clit. She let out a moan. She closed her eyes and pretended she was riding Ed, an anal plug up her ass. "Oh, right there. Just like that!" She gasped and ground her hips into the toy. "Oh yeah."

He groaned, watching her pleasure herself never failed to get him rock hard, and never failed to get him to come. "God, I'm so close."

Olivia groaned. "Ooh, hold on baby. Oh, yeah. Ah!" She moaned and came hard, rubbing her clit as her orgasm spilled out of her. "Oh, fuck!" She got up and crawled to the bed, not trusting her legs to carry her. She climbed up onto it, moved his hand away and replaced it with her mouth, moving her lips over him, taking him as deep as she could. She let go and took a breath stroking him. "Come for me baby. Come in my mouth." She opened her mouth, sticking her tongue out, hitting his cock against her tongue. She didn't know what came over her. She was so aroused, she was hungry for him.

Ed was in overdrive. "Oh, yeah." He gripped her hair and she moaned. "Oh, I'm coming baby." He released into her mouth and she moaned. She kissed up his body and kissed him passionately. "Fucking Christ," he whispered.

She smirked and giggled. "I can't feel my legs." She giggled and looked at him. "When I closed my eyes, it was your cock I was bouncing on, with a plug in my ass." She bit her bottom lip. "And you were sucking my nipples, and it was so fucking hot."

He groaned. "You're a Goddess. I swear it," He was breathless.

Olivia grinned. "I'm glad I was able to help," she whispered. Maybe tomorrow night I'll dance for you," she looked up at him. "But first I need to clean up so we can get some sleep," she whispered. "You need all the rest you can get. You heal when you sleep."

Ed caressed her face. "You know, endorphins are a powerful drug. I don't feel any pain."

She chuckled. "Well, when that changes, let me know." She got them both under the covers and she rested her head on his chest. "I'm so glad you're okay." She closed her eyes. "We should get a restraining order tomorrow. In case he makes bail. I'll serve it to him personally."

He stroked her hair. "Liv?"

"Hmm?"

He kissed her head. "For right now, for the rest of the night, I want you to tell your brain to shut up, because I love you, and I love that you think ten steps ahead, but right now, I need you to just be here in the moment with me, okay?"

Olivia nodded. "Sorry," she whispered. "I'll clean up from before and then we can both get some sleep, okay?"

Ed kissed her. "Just stay here."

She chuckled. "Can I at least put the dildo back in the drawer, in case Noah walks in and sees it?"

He looked at her. "Yeah, that might be a good idea,."

Olivia got up and took the toy off the table, cleaning it with one of the toy cleaning wipes she had and put it back, along with the lube, pulling the table back as she walked around to the other side of the bed, taking her spot on the bed, next to Ed. "I love you so much," she whispered, resting her head on his chest. His strong heartbeat comforting her and, along with Ed stroking her hair, lulling her into a sleep.

 **A/N: The amount of times I wanted to use the term "psychotic break" to describe and even explain away Elliot's actions in the past 2 chapters is unreal, but I kept telling myself, the mentally ill are more likely to be victims of violence than they are to commit it. Do some people who are mentally ill commit violent crimes? Sure. But, as someone who is mentally ill (with an illness most equate with violence and aggression) I HATE when the media paints a mass shooter as someone who is mentally ill. So I refrained. Anyway, like I said, it'll get happier. Leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay) and I'll see you all next chapter!**


	35. You Say Sorry Just For Show

**So, I have terrible insomnia and the only thing that helps me sleep is writing. So here's chapter 35! This is sweet, and angry, and smutty all at once. I know now have at least the next 2 chapters planned out.**

Olivia sat straight up, gasping. Feeling the gun pressed to her temple brought up bad memories from the past, resulting in flashbacks. She looked back at Ed, seeing he was awake. "You okay?" She asked, settling back in against him, finding his eyes in the dark.

Ed ran his hand over her back. "Haven't slept much. My arm hurts."

She caressed her face. "Why didn't you wake me up, my love?"

He looked at her and smiled gently. "You looked so peaceful up until about thirty seconds before you woke up."

Olivia leaned up and kissed him. "Let me get you a pill so you can get some sleep," she moved to turn on her bedside lamp and get him a pill but he stopped her.

Ed looked at her. "Are you alright? Really?"

She looked at him. "I'm not the one with an immobilized arm with a hole through it."

He pulled her to him. "No, but you were the one with a gun to your head." He felt her tense up. "Flashbacks?" His voice was soft, as was his touch, easing her nerves.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah," She bit her bottom lip and held onto him tighter. "It's weird. It was like a mix between the granary and Utley." She kissed his chest. "Let me get you a pill, I don't want you in pain."

Ed leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I don't want you in pain either."

She looked up at him. "Ed, I've been dealing with flashbacks on and off for over a decade now, probably longer. I could have had them when I was younger from my childhood, I could have had them from the times I had perps obsessed with me, stalking me, and i just blocked them out. I definitely had them from my assault when I was undercover, from Lewis, from Utley. I promise you, I'll be okay. Even if the meds knock you out, just having you here makes me feel safe, and will help ground me if I wake up with another one, okay? So please, I beg you, take a pain pill."

He looked at her and kissed her again, slowly. He heard her moan and he pulled away, kissing her nose then her forehead. "Fine, for you, I will take one."

Olivia smiled and got up, turning on her light and getting him a pill, helping him sit up, straddling his lap to get his water, opening it for him. She gave him the pill and the water. She put the water back and wrapped her arms around him, kissing his lips slowly, starting to grind her hips into his before pulling apart, "We shou—"

Ed cut her off with another kiss, his hand pressing between her shoulder blades. He broke the kiss only for a moment. "Don't stop," he bit gently on her bottom lip.

She groaned and ran her hands over his pecs. "You sure?" She whispered, her hips starting to rock into his again.

He held her face in his good hand, pushing his hips up. "Positive."

Olivia groaned and knelt up on her knees, sinking down onto his cock, letting out a whiney moan. "Oh, my God," she held him close and slowly, gingerly started riding him. "Mm, oh yeah."

Ed held her close, their bodies pressed together. "Oh, Liv, baby." He groaned. He kissed her slowly as her hips moved slowly into his, they both moaned, as her actions brought them both closer and closer to glorious climax. This was different than what they did earlier in the night, while both were more than aroused in that moment, the animalistic aspect wasn't there. This was slow and deliberate. They were loving and cherishing the other. Over the past week they'd nearly lost each other, twice. Once over a stupid fight, and once due to an act of violence at the hand of a jealous, disturbed individual.

While sex wasn't the only thing Ed and Olivia had in common, and never was, it was always a way to bring them back to each other, back to neutral. Olivia sighed and buried her head in his neck, her muscles starting to contract around him. "Ed," she whispered, biting softly at the skin of his neck.

Ed ran his hand up and down her back. "That's it, baby, come for me," he whispered. "I love you so much, Olivia. So so much. Fall over that edge with me and let me catch you."

She let out a breath as her orgasm took over, riding him a little harder, but staying at a slow steady pace. "Oh, yeah baby." She looked deep into his eyes. "Come on baby. Let me feel you." And as he finished her sentence she felt him release inside her. She let out a breath and closed her eyes. Her head fell back, feeling his lips on her throat.

He smiled and leaned back against the headboard, holding her. Something about having her wrapped around him made them both feel safe and content, and they fell asleep like that, peacefully, wrapped in each other. They slept peacefully for the rest of the night. He stirred first, seeing Olivia sleeping on top of him. He rubbed her back, kissing the side of her head. "I love you," He whispered.

Olivia groaned and opened her eyes. "Mm, morning," she whispered, kissing him. "Sleep better after the pill?"

Ed nodded. "I can't tell if it was the medicine or the fact that I had a beautiful woman wrapped in my arms."

She blushed. "I slept pretty well myself," she bit her lip and smiled. "And it was definitely because I was in the arms of the big strong man who saved my life," she whispered in his ear, nuzzling him. "We should put on clothes, the kids will be up soon."

He ran his hand over her ass. "I wish you could stay on top of me, naked, all damn day."

Olivia giggled. "As lovely as that would be, we'll have to wait until this cast is off and you've started your PT, and we'll go on our honeymoon, somewhere we can get a private beach and go back and forth between the beach and the bed, having mind blowing sex," she kissed him softly. "Let me get dressed and I'll give you a hand.

Ed gently spanked her. "Go," he whispered. "Or, I'll get up and stand behind you, have you hold the bed, and I'll fuck you from behind." He leaned in "or I'll fuck your ass and make you come all over the goddamn room."

She moaned and moved her lips to his ear. "Keep talking like that, and I won't want to get up."

He grinned and kissed her neck, hearing her sigh. She pulled him so she could kiss his lips, their tongues meshing together, their teeth biting the other's lip. They heard a knock on the door. Ed pulled away. "Kid's got timing," he whispered.

Olivia smiled and called out to the door. "I'll be right there sweet boy," she climbed off Ed and wrapped herself in her robe, covering Ed's lower half with the blankets. She opened the door and smiled, kneeling in front of him. "Good morning, sweet boy" she hugged him and kissed the side of his head.

Noah looked at her. "Is daddy okay?"

She smiled and caressed his cheek. "He's just fine," she moved so Noah could see. "He can't use his arm right now, it's got to heal, but he's home and he can sit up and walk around."

Noah looked at her. "Can he still hug us?"

Olivia hugged him tight. "He can, sweet boy. He still gives really good Daddy hugs. He just can't pick you or Caroline up, don't you worry that handsome little head about it, okay?"

Noah nodded. "Okay."

She saw he was still somber. "Tell you what, give me a few minutes to help Daddy get dressed and you can come in and give him a hug, okay?" She saw Noah's smile. "Okay, go turn on some cartoons." She saw him run off and she closed the door. She got out some pajama pants, boxers and a T-shirt for Ed and she walked over to the bed. "Let me help?"

Ed smiled at her and turned so his legs were dangling over the bed. He watched her kneel down and slip his boxers over his feet, helping him stand up and pulling them up to his hips. "I don't deserve you.

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist. "You have it backwards I'm the one that doesn't deserve your love." She kissed his pecs and up his neck, hearing him sigh. "Try to stay relaxed. The more you tense, the more it'll hurt."

He caressed her face, feeling her lean into his touch. "You, and your touch, relax me."

Olivia finished dressing him and kissed him gently. She heard her phone ring. She didn't look at the name and answered it, putting it on speakerphone. "Hello?"

A robotic voice filled the room. "You have a collect call from," and Elliot's voice filled the space. "Elliot Stabler", followed by the robotic voice again. "Will you accept the charges?

She felt her lip tremble but she steeled herself. "Yes, I'll accept the charges." She heard the phone patch through. "You hold a gun to my head and then think I want to talk to you?"

Elliot sounded sympathetic on the phone. "Please let me explain."

Olivia's eyes went wide. "Explain? You have an explanation for why you held the barrel of a fucking gun to my temple and why you nearly killed my husband!? Oh, this is rich." She felt Ed rest his hand on her shoulder.

Elliot's voice trembled. "Liv, you have to believe me. I never wanted to hurt you. This isn't me, you know that."

She shook her head. "No. No, Elliot, I don't. I thought I knew that, until you showed up at my apartment, when I never told you my address, and kissed me. Then you show up with a gun… I don't know who you are anymore." She heard her voice crack. "And I don't know that I can ever forgive you for what you've done. You almost cost me my marriage, when that didn't work you almost killed the only man who has ever truly loved me. You had your shot, Elliot. You had twelve years, I was never anything but a piece of ass to you. You fucked it up. You ruined our friendship. I hope you rot in a jail cell until the day you die and then I hope you rot in hell."

Elliot audibly sobbed on the other end of the phone. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Olivia composed herself. "Then plead guilty, not for a lesser sentence, but because you are. Serve your time. Lose my address and my number, because I never want to hear from or talk to you again for as long as I live."

Elliot sniffled. "I don't have an excuse, Liv, as to why I did what I did. My lawyer is trying to get the mental health diagnosis introduced but I won't let him. I deserve prison time, not time in a hospital. I am pleading guilty, and I'm going to have them give me the max for attempted murder. I may be sick, I wasn't medicated, but I am now, and I'm taking responsibility."

She swallowed. "Good. Don't expect me to visit you, don't expect a call or money in your commissary account. You broke me when you left, the past few times we've interacted you've been toxic and had Ed not tried to get the gun from your grip, I believe in my core that you'd have killed me. My mother tried when she found out I was trying to leave, I know how it goes, if you can't have me, no one can, right?" She scoffed. "You don't know the Ed that I know, the Ed that I've come to know and love over the past few years. He's got more love for me than any man I've ever known has in their pinky nail. Please, lose my number. Lose my address. Let me go, Elliot. I don't love you anymore."

Elliot took a minute to respond. "Whatever you want. I'm glad you're happy, Olivia. You deserve it—"

Olivia hung up and she lay on the bed, curled up in a ball and sobbed. She felt Ed rub her back. She sat up and looked at him. "I love you," She cradled his face in her hands, kissing him passionately, feeling him kiss back. She broke the kiss and wiped her eyes. "He's out of our lives." She hugged him tightly, holding the back of his head. "We're safe," she whispered and kissed the side of his head. She wiped her eyes again and let out a breath. "Let me put on some clothes, and I'll have Noah come in so he can hug his Daddy. I'll get breakfast started for him, get Caroline up, and then the four of us can hang out in here today, until you need to rest.

Ed kissed her forehead. "I'll be okay." He whispered. "As long as they want to be in here."

She smiled. "They're both probably going to go down for a nap, so we can take a nap ourselves. We had a rough night last night."

He ran his thumb over her hip. "What if I don't want to nap?"

Olivia shook her head. "You're insatiable." She kissed him softly. "And I love you for it." She got dressed and had Noah go in and keep Ed company. She got Caroline up and her diaper changed and put her in her Moby wrap, carrying her on her chest. She walked into the kitchen and washed her hands and made breakfast for Ed, Noah, and herself, and got Caroline's breakfast ready. She walked in carrying a tray with everyone's breakfast, setting it on the bed, cuddling up next to Ed as they all ate, spending time as a family. Olivia held a forkful of eggs up to Ed's lips and he playfully ate it, kissing her temple. She couldn't help but smile.

Ed took a piece of fruit on his fork and held it to her lips. He saw her smirk and take it between her teeth while keeping eye contact with him. He leaned in to whisper. "And you say I'm insatiable?" He kissed just below her ear and held her close.

They all played, gingerly around Ed, for a few hours, until Caroline started to get cranky. Olivia rocked her and put her down for a nap. Noah went down shortly after and Olivia walked back in the bedroom, locking the door behind her. She climbed into bed and kissed Ed slowly. "You want to take a nap?"

He smiled and kissed her again. "Maybe in a little bit. But first, I want you."

Olivia smiled and took off her shirt. "How do you want me?" She whispered in his ear.

Ed ran his finger under the waistband of her pants and panties. "I told you before, I want to fuck your ass."

She moaned and finished disrobing. She helped him stand up and pushed his pants and boxers down, seeing him already hard. She groaned and took the lube out of her nightstand. She put some in her hand and ran it over her tight opening, taking his hand and putting some in his hand, watching him put it on his cock. She groaned and turned around, resting on her elbows, he slowly pushed into her and she let out a slow, low, guttural moan. "Oh, yeah baby," she moved her hips back to meet him, feeling him slide in and out of her with ease. She gasped as he started moving harder. "Fuck me, baby," she whispered. She gripped the sheets in her hands. "Ah, fuck!" She looked back at him.

He ran his hand over her back. "Oh, shit." He moaned. "So good," he closed his eyes and gripped her hip, their moans were the only sound in the room. She adjusted her position, resting one leg on the bed, groaning at the new sensation the change in position sent running through her body. "You like that? Huh?"

Olivia moved her hips back to meet his, her clit hitting the edge of the bed. "Don't stop, baby," she begged, feeling him pull her hair. "Oh yeah," she whispered, biting her bottom lip. "Come on baby. Oh, I'm so close. Make me come baby."

Ed groaned and moved harder, causing her to moan out, pushing his fingers inside her pussy. "Come on, baby. Come around my fingers so hard you push them out of your pussy."

She moaned and her eyes rolled back as she came hard, her muscles clamping around his cock and pushing his fingers out. "Oh, my God, Ed!" She pushed herself up and reached behind her, pulling his head down, kissing him, moaning, feeling his release inside her. "Oh, yeah." She smiled and fell forward onto her arms, feeling him slowly pull out of her. "Oh, fuck, baby." She panted and stood up, turning around. "I need a bath. Let me wash your body," she whispered and kissed him gently. "If you want to rest, I'll take a quick shower and I'll be back in, in ten minutes tops."

He caressed her face. "I should wash up," he whispered, "but where my arm is with the immobilizer, I can't really get in the bath, a shower may be better, I can stay out of the the direct spray of the water.

Olivia smiled and kissed him. "Okay." She took his hand. "Shower, and a nap." She walked with him into the bathroom, helping him take his shirt off, running her hands over his chest. "I know it wasn't my fault, but I'm so sorry that you got shot trying to protect me."

Ed pulled her close, feeling her tears on his skin. "It wasn't, but I also know you, and know that it doesn't have to have been your fault for you to feel guilty. I've told you time and time again, I would die for you. I'm just glad I didn't have to die yesterday."

She nodded and rested her head on his chest. "You and me both. I'd be inconsolable," she whispered. "You're it for me, Ed. I'm not ready for our lives together to be over."

He lifted her chin. "Me either. That's why I moved to grab that gun yesterday. The image of him holding that gun to your head, cocked, ready to fire, it will haunt me for the rest of my life, but I wasn't going to let that image turn into him putting a bullet in your head." He closed his eyes and held her. "I wouldn't let him take the light of my world away. Not without a fight."

 **A/N: I know I said I didn't want to have Elliot have some sort of mental illness (nondescript in this, fill in the blanks), but I really meant I didn't want it being used as an excuse for what he did. Now the question is, is Elliot telling the truth? Are they safe? Stay tuned. See you next chapter.**


	36. While You’re In the World

**Remember how I said I had insomnia? Still have it. The cure is still writing. Enjoy daily updates while they last guys.**

Ed sat on the exam table, getting his cast cut off. Olivia stood next to him holding his hand. "It'll be nice to be able to not have my arm attached to my body anymore."

The doctor took the cast off and Ed let his arm fall a little bit. "Let's take a look at the entrance wound and the incision." Olivia squeezed his hand, kissing his knuckles as the doctor performed an evaluation. "Wound has healed up nicely. You're going to need some PT and OT to unfreeze that shoulder and get some range of motion back. Massages wouldn't hurt either."

Olivia smiled and kissed his cheek. "So he's all set for now? I can bring him home?"

The doctor nodded. "I'm going to write out a prescription for Tylenol with Codeine, it's a step down from the Percocet, and you'll probably need it after your therapy sessions, they'll likely hurt."

Ed took the prescription and hopped off the table. "Thanks Doc." He saw the doctor walk away and he wrapped Olivia in his arms. "I haven't been able to do this in months and I've missed it," he whispered and wrapped his arms tighter around her.

She smiled and kissed him softly. "Let's get your shirt on and get you home," she whispered. She helped him into his shirt and smiled. "I'll give you a back massage when we get home if you want," she looked into his eyes and smiled.

He kissed her forehead. "You spoil me." He rubbed her arms. "Come on, let's go home, take a bath, and then I'll take you up on that offer for a back massage."

Olivia smiled and walked out with him. She held his hand as they walked from the doctor's to their apartment. It had been a rough few months, towards the end especially, as Ed grew more and more frustrated that he couldn't do much for himself with only one hand. He never took it out, intentionally on Olivia, and Olivia always did what she could to ease his stress. She kissed his knuckles as they stopped on a corner and she pulled him in to kiss his lips, moaning gently, a smile on her face. She broke the kiss just in time for the walk signal to come up. They crossed the street and walked the half a block to their apartment building. They took the elevator and then walked into their apartment. Noah was still at school, and Caroline had baby Caroline for the rest of the afternoon, wanting to spend time with her granddaughter. She took her top off as she walked back to the bedroom, looking over her shoulder. "You comin'?" She smirked feeling his hands on her hips, she walked into their bathroom and started the bath water before turning around and kissing him, unbuttoning her jeans and pushing them down and they kissed.

Ed swayed them back and forth, pushing her panties down, and unhooked her bra, throwing it across the room. They broke the kiss long enough to carefully get Ed out of his shirt before her fingers started undoing the button on his jeans. "I want you," he whispered against her lips.

She moaned. "I want you too," she mumbled as she pushed his jeans and boxer briefs down, taking him in her hand, stroking him gently. She broke the kiss and looked at the tub. "Help me in," she whispered to him, holding his hand as he stepped in and then climbing in after him. She turned off the water. It was warmer than usual. She had him sit down, his legs crossed. She sat in his lap. "I'm gonna ride you so fucking hard baby." She sank down onto his cock and she let out a loud moan. She felt his hands on her hips as she started riding him, then they moved to her breasts. "Oh, god you make me so wet," she whined. She cradled his face and kissed him, gently biting his lower lip.

He groaned as she kissed down his neck, riding him fast and hard. "Christ," he moved her chin so he could lock eyes with her before he stilled her hips, thrusting his own up into her, hearing her let out a loud, high pitched moan. "Yeah, you like that? You like it when my cock fucks your pussy?"

Olivia leaned forward and rested their foreheads together, moving in rhythm with his thrusts. "Ooh, yeah yeah, yeah, fuck!" She arched her back and let her mouth hang open as she kept riding him. She took one of his hands and moved it between them, feeling his thumb flick over her clit, causing her to scream out. "Oh shit!" She pressed her breasts against his chest, her face hovering above his. "Oh my God, baby. Please. I want more."

Ed circled her clit with one finger slowly. "More? Tell me exactly what you want, anything you want baby, any thing I can do to get you to scream my name."

She bit her bottom lip and got off him, sitting on the edge of the ub, leaning her back against the wall. "Suck my clit, fuck me with your tongue and your fingers," She panted and gently pulled at her nipples, moaning.

He moved to kneel between her legs, he ran his fingers over her inner thighs, opening her legs further. He teased her, kissing around where she really wanted him. He heard her moan and saw her hips start to buck. He held her hips and looked up at her, kissing her pussy, letting his tongue run through her wet folds and he moaned, sending vibrations through her body and she gasped. She felt him start to suck her clit and her hips ground into his face. He smirked. "You like that, baby? Hm?" He flicked his tongue over her clit, hearing her moaning.

Olivia gasped as he pushed his tongue inside her. "Oh, my— fuck!" She cried out. "Fuck me Ed!" She held the back of his head moving her hips into his face. "Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!" She arched her back and looked down at me. "Mm, shit, I'm gonna come, oh, God, I'm gonna come!"

Ed smirked and moved back to suck her clit and pushed three fingers inside her, fucking her with his fingers, before her orgasm came out hard, covering the lover half of his face. He licked her clean and carefully pulled her back into the tub, kissing her, slipping his tongue into her mouth, making out with her until the water cooled. They climbed out and she turned him around, sitting him on the edge of the tub, getting on her knees. "What're you doing?"

She opened his towel and took his cock in her hand, stroking him. "I'm gonna finish you. I'm gonna be so dirty," she kissed the head of his penis. "Mm, just the anticipation of tasting you gets me so hot, baby. All for you," she ran her nails lightly over his inner thigh. "It's time for naughty nurse Tucker to come out and play." She giggled. "You want me to suck you or just stroke you like this, talk dirty to you, about how you have the biggest, best cock, I've ever seen? About how much I love how you make love to me? And fuck me? Because you always make me come so hard," she ran her fingers over her breasts. "You're so fucking hot baby."

He groaned as he listened to her and watched her. "Suck my cock, baby. I love your mouth."

Olivia smiled and traced the veins of his penis with her tongue, running her tongue over the ridge between the tip and shaft of his cock, hearing him groan. She stroked him and looked up into his eyes. "Your cock is so perfect." She closed her eyes and tilted her head back for a moment when she let out a moan. She looked up at him and took him in her mouth, relaxing her throat and moving her lips over him. "Mm." She felt him move her hair and watch her, feeling him tighten. She released him from her mouth, stroking him again . "You gonna come for me?" She bit her bottom lip. "Where do you want to come? Your wish is my command."

Ed groaned and looked at her. "Lean back," she did as instructed, resting her hands on the floor. She looked into his eyes as he stroked himself. She felt his release on her breasts and she moaned. She sat upright and took some on her finger, and licked it. He groaned.

She smiled and stood up, sitting on the edge of the tub, cleaning his release off her chest, wrapping a towel around her breasts. "Can I interest you in a naked massage? I give really good ones. Plus you get me, naked on top of you, rubbing your back and shoulders with oil." She kissed him gently. "I'll be gentle."

He stood up and kissed her, hard. Their tongues meeting, their teeth biting as he walked her into the bedroom, she moaned as his hands touched her skin, under her towel, before he moved his hands up and undid her towel, letting it fall to the floor. He broke the kiss and looked at her. "You're so beautiful."

Olivia blushed and looked over his body, seeing the scar on his bicep, she touched it and leaned in and kissed it softly, looking up at him. "My hero," she whispered and wrapped her arms around him. "Lay down, let me rub your back," she whispered, watching him lay on his stomach. She grabbed the massage oil and climbed on the bed, straddling his hips, adding a little oil to her palms, rubbing them together to warm the oil. She started rubbing his back, adding pressure, but easing up on his injured shoulder. "Pressure okay?"

Ed smiled. "Perfect." He groaned as her hands worked over his back muscles. "Oh, baby." He winced a bit when she worked his bad shoulder.

She moved her hands. "Sorry, figured it was worth a shot," she whispered and worked his other shoulder and down his back. "Such a strong back," she whispered and leaned in and kissed his neck. She ran her nails down his back hearing him groan. "Mm, feel better?" She asked gently.

He rolled over under her. "I haven't felt this relaxed in a long time." He held her hips. "Come here," he pulled her down slowly and rolled them onto their sides. He kissed her and she moaned softly.

Olivia broke the kiss. "Let's take a bit of a nap before Noah gets home. I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted."

Ed caressed her cheek, seeing her smile. "I'm pretty tired myself. Let's nap and then I'll call for a physical therapy appointment. Then we don't have to worry about anything for the rest of the day, except being with each other, and our kids." He leaned in and kissed her softly, getting under the blankets.

She cuddled up to him, once again finding his scar, touching it lightly. "I'm sorry, you probably hate this," she whispered. "I hated my scars being touched, or kissed, for the longest time." She looked up at him. "I'll stop," she moved her hand and moved her body closer to his.

He ran his fingers over her body. "Liv, look at me." He saw her eyes meet his. "I don't mind it. I know that you know that your touch and your kiss aren't going to make the scar or the trauma go away. You're not doing it to make me forget. But you have to promise me something."

Olivia nodded. "Anything," she whispered, cradling his face.

Ed kissed her forehead. "I need you to not feel guilty when you see it. I got hurt, and it sucks, but I'd do it again, if it means that you're still alive and I can hold you, and touch you, and love you? I'd do it in a heartbeat to save you."

She felt tears run down her face and she kissed him. "I don't deserve you, Ed," she shook her head. "I love you so much, and I can't imagine living my life without you in it."

He held her tighter. "One more promise," he whispered. "Stop talking like that about yourself, okay?" He looked into her eyes. "You deserve everything, Olivia, and I'm sorry I haven't told you that lately, but I swear to you, I will do whatever I have to do to get you to believe it about yourself."

Olivia wiped her eyes. "It's not your job," she whispered, "besides we've had a rough couple of months." She looked at him. "I've missed this," she whispered. "Laying naked in your arms," she closed her eyes. "You never fail to make me feel beautiful. Whether you're holding me, making love to me, or just looking at me, I always feel beautiful."

Ed kissed her passionately and rolled her to her back. "Because you are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on, and it is my job to tell you that you deserve the world," he whispered and held himself over her.

She looked up at him, before pulling him in for another kiss, scratching his back. He groaned and she smirked. She pulled away and made eye contact with him again. "Make love to me, Ed."

He pushed inside of her and they both let out a moan. "God, I love you," he whispered as he started to move inside her. He pulled her leg around his waist and stared into her eyes.

Olivia sighed, arching her back. "Oh, Ed!" She ran her fingers over his chest.

The couple had been having more sex over the past couple months, not that either minded. The flood of endorphins helped Ed's pain levels so he didn't need to rely on pain medicine, and it helped both of them manage their frustrations without starting a fight. It's part of the reason that they would say the entire experience brought them closer together. But the times both loved more than anything, were the times when they made love, slowly bringing each other to the heights of pleasure. And that's just what they did for the rest of the afternoon, after Caroline called and asked if she could spend some time with Noah as well. This was exactly what the two of them needed, to come back together, relax and recharge.

 **A/N: Okay, so this was just a little bit of a fluffy, smutty filler chapter. Next chapter is going to be the honeymoon, and some more info on Elliot. Was he telling the truth? Leave a review in the meantime, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay).**


	37. Leaving on a Jet Plane

**So I didn't upload last night, I've been getting serious about getting my mental health in order and I had a really hard therapy session. I have a lot to unpack. A lot of dark and scary things, and I was just emotionally drained.**

With Ed now in physical therapy and seeing results faster than expected they planned and booked their honeymoon. They booked four days and three nights in a Mykonos luxury hotel, with a private jacuzzi and private pool, and when they left there they'd be flying to Ireland where they'd spend ten days and nine nights seeing some of the country's most romantic and enchanting places, staying in a five star resort, a miniature castle, and a house hotel. The beaches on Mykonos were something both were craving, but Ed also wanted to show her the beauty of Ireland he remembered from visiting as a kid. They got the best of both worlds, even though they would be gone for two weeks, they both desperately needed the time to be together.

Olivia was packing her bag, twelve different lingerie pieces, a couple swimsuits, and a few outfits along with a swimsuit coverup and some sandals. "Should I bring some dresses for going out for dinner?"

Ed wrapped his arms around her. "Dinner, dancing, but just know they won't stay on long while we're in the rooms," he whispered and kissed her neck.

She giggled. "Mm, I wasn't planning on wearing anything except my lingerie while we were in the room, even in the pool and the jacuzzi, I rarely expect to have a my bathing suit on, since we have a private pool and jacuzzi." She turned and wrapped her arms around him. "We're going to be surrounded by beauty, having some of the most mind blowing sex of our lives, eating some wonderful meals, maybe we can get a couples massage."

He looked down at her and smirked. "I'm always surrounded by beauty." He caressed her face and kissed her softly, grabbing her ass. "And we always have mind blowing sex."

Olivia groaned. "And thank God for WiFi, so we can still talk to the kids while we're away, in between the meals and skinny dipping and sex and drinking." She smiled and kissed him again. "I just have to pack a few dresses and a few pairs of heels and I'll be ready to head out tomorrow."

Ed smiled. "I can't wait to eat fruit off your sun kissed body in Mykonos and do body shots off you in Ireland."

She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip. "Your mouth that close to my naked body? Mm, I can't wait," she giggled and kissed his lips before walking away and walking into their closet. She picked out a few different dresses of different lengths, three were skin tight and one was flowy. She packed three pairs of heels and a gold pair of sandals. She closed and zipped her suitcase, getting her passport and all her other important documents she'd need for their trip and put them on top of her suitcase in the corner of their room.

He walked over to her and ran his hands over her ass, spanking her gently, hearing her groan. He gripped her hips and pulled them back against him. She ground her ass into him. "Oh, yeah."

Olivia stood up and kept moving her hips back into his. "This the kind of dancing you want to do in Greece?" She asked, getting turned on at the thought. "Mm, you like that baby?"

Ed groaned and let her grind her hips against him a little more before he moved to sit in one of the arm chairs they had in their bedroom. "God, you're so sexy."

She moved her hips harder back against him, really grinding on him, feeling him getting harder and harder. She took her shirt off and leaned back against him. "Oh, I love how you get so hard so fast for me baby."

He ran his hands over her front, ending with her breasts, squeezing them, hearing her gasp. "It is impossible not to be aroused when I look at you," he whispered to her. "And touching your skin, feeling you grind against me, Jesus Liv, it's a challenge for me not to come right now."

Olivia smiled and closed her eyes, moaning. "Mm, for me too," she arched her back. "Oh, yeah." She sat up and turned in his lap, straddling him, going back to grinding against him, the fabric of her panties and his erection, still in his pants, brushing against her clit. She let out a breath, gripping his shirt. "Oh, I'm gonna come, oh my God!" She let her back arch, her hair touching the middle of her back. "Oh yes!" She moved her hips faster. "Come on baby. Come for me. I know you're close. Tell me what you baby," she whispered, her hips still moving.

Ed gripped her hips, stilling her, thrusting his hips up, only to have her fall forward, burying her head in his neck as she moaned. "Say my name, Liv."

She moved her lips to his ear where she let out a breathy moan, whispering. "Ed," she sighed. "Oh, Ed," she gasped. She felt him thrusting up into her, even though they both had on pants, it made her more and more aroused building her second orgasm in the last five minutes. "Oh, don't stop!" She gasped and leaned in and kissing him passionately, moaning as he squeezed her breasts again.

He broke the kiss and groaned as he released, and Olivia had her second orgasm of the night. She fell against him, both panting. "Jesus Christ," he whispered.

Olivia closed her eyes and smiled. "I know," she closed her eyes. "We should head to bed, soon. We have an early flight."

Ed ran his hands over her back. "Mm, I agree," he whispered. "Privately chartered planes are on a tight schedule."

She sat back up and looked at him. "I'm sorry, you chartered a plane? That must have cost a small fortune."

He shook his head. "Nah, buddy of mine works for a company that charters planes, he got me a good deal." He kissed her forehead. "Besides, even if I paid full price, you're worth it."

Olivia smiled. "You didn't have to do that, I'd have been fine with a regular plane."

Ed shrugged. "Yeah, but now we get to join the mile high club without worrying about the cramped space in the airplane bathrooms. There's a bed on the plane, it's not a king sized bed, but there'll be room for both of us," he smirked and held her, standing up. "But we should get some sleep. We need our energy for our flight," he whispered and smirked.

She giggled. "You're bad." She hopped out of his arms. "Let me just get out of the rest of these clothes," she smirked and unhooked her bra, throwing it on the floor, unbuttoning her jeans and pushing them and her panties off. "All better, now, let's head to—" her phone cut her off. She sighed, looking at the name on her screen. "Stone? What's going on?" She put the call on speaker.

Stone's voice filled the room. "I have some information on Elliot Stabler. He plead guilty to attempted murder one and assault with a deadly weapon, he's getting the max, he's going away for the rest of his life. He's not fighting it."

Olivia nodded. "Uh— thanks. Listen, I'm leaving on my honeymoon in the morning, I'll be out of the country, so Fin's in charge of SVU. Anything you need, let him know, okay?"

Stone spoke again. "Well, have fun, and we'll see you when you get back.safe travels."

Olivia smiled. "We will, thank you." She hung up and looked at Ed. "What a better way to start our honeymoon? Now, either take off your clothes or put on pajamas and climb into bed with me so we can get some sleep."

Ed got undressed and climbed into bed with Olivia and held her close, kissing her softly. "Two weeks alone with my sexy wife."

She chuckled. "Hopefully you don't get sick of me."

He looked at her and furrowed his brow. "Never." He kissed her gently. "If anything you're going to be sick of me, because I'm going to want you all of the time."

Olivia grinned. "I won't complain," she whispered and kissed him, gently. She set her alarm for the morning and cuddled into him. "Mm, goodnight, my love."

Her alarm rang at three in the morning, only five hours after they fell asleep. She groaned and Ed started kissing her skin. "Wake up," he whispered. "We need to put on clothes and go to the airport."

She groaned and looked at him, kissing him softly, sitting up, stretching, walking over to her dresser, taking out a pair of panties and yoga pants. "I should wear a bra, shouldn't I?"

He got up and wrapped his arm around her waist. "It's not going to last long on that plane," he mumbled.

Olivia grinned. "Yes, but when we get off the plane in Greece I should have a bra on." She turned in his arms. "I could put it in my carry on, go onto the plane in a T-shirt and sweatshirt, we can have our fun for ten hours on our flight," she grinned. "That's a lot of orgasms," she chuckled. "And then I'll throw my bra on when we get dressed again," she smiled and took out a T-shirt and an NYPD hoodie, slipping it over her head, she ran her fingers over his chest. "Baby, get dressed or we're going to miss our plane," she whispered and kissed him softly, grabbing her things and bringing them out by the door, careful not to wake her Mother in Law. She heard noise and she turned around and saw Ed, dressed in track pants, a T-shirt and a matching NYPD hoodie, carrying his things out. "I'm going to go say goodbye to Noah, you want to tell your mom we're leaving."

Caroline turned on the light, causing Olivia to jump into Ed's arms. "Sorry, sweetheart. I'm up, I had my alarm set, wanted to make sure I could see you two love birds off."

Ed set Olivia back down, rubbing her back. "Ma, you've got to be careful."

Caroline looked at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't want you panicking when you went in the guest room and I wasn't there."

Olivia kissed Ed's cheek. "I'm going to go say goodbye to Noah." She smiled and walked to Noah's room, quietly opening the door and kneeling next to his bed. "Sweet boy," she whispered, seeing him stir.

Noah looked at her. "Mommy? What are you doing?"

She smiled and caressed his cheek. "Remember when we talked last night about Daddy and I going to Greece and Ireland? We're heading to the airport now. I promise when we get to our hotel in Greece we'll FaceTime okay? But we have to go and I wanted to give you a hug goodbye."

He hugged her and then lay back down. "Bye mommy."

Olivia smiled and kissed his forehead. "Bye bye sweet boy, I'll miss you. You be good for grandma okay?" She whispered and stood up and walked out, peeking in on the baby, caressing her cheek. "Mama loves you sweet girl." She whispered and kissed her forehead. Then walked back out to the living room, seeing Ed come out of Noah's room, and going into Caroline's room. Olivia walked over to her mother in law and hugged her. "Thank you, mom. I know it was longer than we'd originally planned, I can't thank you enough."

Caroline smiled. "It's no problem. I love getting to spend time with them. And I really am sorry I startled you." She smiled and saw her son walk back out.

Ed smiled. "Ready?"

Olivia smiled and pulled away from Caroline, letting Ed hug his mother. They gathered their things and left. Olivia looked at Ed. "Mm, in less than twelve hours we'll be in the bright sunshine of Greece."

Ed kissed her shoulder as they took the elevator down. "I can't wait to watch the sun hit your beautiful body, your gorgeous golden skin."

She looked at him. "You know that you're already married to me, and you don't have to flatter me to get in my pants right? I mean, I'm gonna fuck you anyway," she whispered in his ear as the doors opened.

He smirked. "I don't have to, but I love complimenting you, flattering you," He whispered and stopped her once they were outside and kissed her softly. "You're beautiful." He whispered against her lips, looking into her eyes.

Olivia smiled and kissed him one more time, seeing a cab pull up and moving to get in when Ed stopped her. "We can't walk to the airport Ed."

Ed smirked. "And we're not." He pointed to the black stretch limo a few cars back. "That's for us," he whispered. "Only the best for you."

She gasped and threw her arms around him and kissed him. "Mm, I love your surprises," she whispered in his ear.

He rested his hand on her hip. "Come on, plenty of time, and privacy, to do that in the limo, and on the plane," he whispered.

Olivia took his hand and let him lead her to the limo. "You spoil me," she smiled when the chauffeur put their bags in the trunk. She climbed in before Ed and once he was sitting next to her and the door was closed she started to kiss him again. "I love you," she whispered.

Ed smiled and caressed her face. "I love you, too, Olivia Margaret Tucker. So much."

The limo started to move, and she straddled him, kissing him passionately. "Oh, God, we need to be on the plane," she whispered, turned on beyond belief at how Ed spoiled her, her hips grinding into his.

He stilled her hips and looked at her. "Can you be quiet?"

Olivia looked at him. "We have a seven year old and a nine month old, Ed. When am I not?"

Ed looked at her. "Ninety percent of the time," he smirked and kissed her. "If you can be quiet," he whispered, running his hands over the front of her yoga pants, running a finger under the waistband. "I'll touch you, give you that release. Or you can wait until we're on the plane where I can properly give you a good morning orgasm."

She smirked. "Mm, decisions, decisions." She kissed his lips and moved down towards his neck. "Kiss me while we drive to the airport and once we're on the plane I want you to…" she leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "I want you to keep warming me up, sucking on my clit, then right before I come, I want you to slowly push your cock inside my wet pussy, while keeping eye contact with me, then I want you to start moving, but not slow strokes. I want you to fuck me hard and fast because I'll be so ready for you and I'll be so close." She smirked and bit her bottom lip. "And that's just round one," she giggled and moaned when she felt his lips on hers.

He groaned and ran his hands over her thighs. "My God," he whispered looking at her, seeing her smile. "You are amazing, you know that?" He whispered in her ear. "You're my everything," he whispered gently.

Olivia blushed and cradled his head in her hands and kissed him slowly, smirking when she felt his hands on her ass. "Easy there," she whispered and rested her forehead on his.

Ed smirked and ran his hands up her back. "I can't keep my hands off you," he whispered, kissing her neck. "Or my lips."

She let out a breath. "Mm, I never want you to," she whispered. She felt his hands run under her shirt, massaging her breasts. "Oh, Ed," she whispered and kissed him again.

He smirked. "You like that?" He asked, hearing a soft moan fall from her lips, continuing to massage her breasts. "Your breasts are so sexy."

Olivia felt his thumbs run over her nipples and she gasped. "Jesus, fuck me, Ed." She whined and scratched the back of his head.

Ed lifted her shirt, sucking gently on her nipples. "Thank God you decided not to wear a bra to the airport so I can do this." Her moans got slightly louder. "More?"

She moved her hips into his and leaned in to whisper in his ear. "I'm so wet baby."

He smirked and looked out the window. "We're too close to the airport for me to lay you on the seat and fuck you, I'm not even sure we'd have time for me to fuck you with my fingers." He whispered and kissed her neck, gently biting.

Olivia sighed. "God I need you so bad," she whispered.

Ed gripped her ass as her hips kept moving into his, groaning. "As soon as the airplane door shuts, I'll make you come so hard," he whispered and looked into her eyes. "I'm so hard, my God, Liv. I need you. We're so close to getting that release."

She whimpered. "Okay, so forget the whole part about sucking my clit until I'm ready to come, we can do that later, but once we get on the plane, I need you inside me." She whispered. "Unless you want me to come multiple times in just a few minutes, in which case, suck my clit then fuck me," she grinned.

He groaned and held her hips. "I want you to come so many times, baby. I want you worn out," he whispered, a smirk on his face. "And I will make sure thoroughly enjoy every last one." He kissed her thrust his hips up into hers, swallowing the moan she let out.

The limo came to a stop in front of the terminal. They got out and got their bags and they rushed through check in and security, rushing to their gate only to be able to walk right on to their plane. The pilot welcomed them and closed the door, inviting them to help themselves to any of the food, snacks, or drinks on board and to enjoy their flight, and with that he went into the cockpit.

Olivia took her sweatshirt off and looked over at Ed, sitting on the bed, wrapping her arms around him, "I've been getting wetter by the second since the door closed," she whispered. "I thought the pilot was going to talk forever," she grinned and lay back, climbing under the blankets.

Ed took off both his shirts and slipped under the covers with her. "At some point he either would have had to go fly the plane or he would have had to watch because I'm so hard, it's borderline painful," he whispered and kissed her.

She chuckled. "In any other situation I'd have scolded you for even thinking I'd allow anyone watch us have sex, but in this situation, I thought the same thing." She cradled his face in her hands and looked into his eyes. "Now, make me come," she whispered.

He grinned and moved under the covers, whipping her pants and panties off, gripping her hips and pulling her down, sucking her clit and pushing his fingers inside her. He heard her moans and felt her hand holding him in place, his tongue ran along her clit, his fingers slowly pushing in and out of her. "Mm," he groaned.

Olivia gasped. "Oh, yeah!" She groaned and arched her back. "Mm, fuck!" She gasped, her orgasm taking over. "Ed!" She moaned and let his name daw out long and low. She felt him kiss up her body, sitting her up and taking her shirt off, she lay back and pushed his pants and boxers down, looking into his eyes, feeling him slowly push into her, letting out a moan.

Ed kissed her as he started thrusting hard and fast inside of her. He moved to kiss her neck and she moaned. "Oh, God, Liv," he whispered. "You're so fucking sexy."

She arched her back into him. "Oh my God!" She scratched his back. "Oh, I'm gonna come again," she sighed.

He smirked and kissed her, lifting her leg to rest on his shoulder as he kept moving, feeling her muscles contract around him. "That's it, baby. Come on," he whispered.

Olivia gasped as her orgasm took over. He pulled out of her and kissed over her body. "You're going to be the death of me. The glorious, orgasm filled, death of me."

Ed smirked and kissed back up her body. "Roll over and get on your knees," he whispered to her. "I'm going to give you one more earth shattering orgasm," he kissed her neck.

She rolled over and got up on her knees, looking back at him. "Fuck me," she groaned. She felt his hands on her hips as he pulled her back, thrusting into her. "Shit!"

He leaned over her. "You alright?"

Olivia's head was resting on the pillow, her eyes closed. "Move," she spoke softly. "Please," she begged.

Ed smirked and started moving hard and fast inside her, hearing her moan. He gripped her hair and tugged, pulling her up, rubbing her clit with his other hand, she let out a whiney moan. "Good?"

She groaned and nodded, words not forming. "I—" She closed her eyes and moaned."

He moved his hand from her hair to her ass, spanking her. "What? Tell me baby, I'm so close to coming inside you. You want that?"

Olivia was hypersensitive at this point. "Yes!" She turned her face and kissed him passionately, her hips moving back into his, meeting his every thrust. "Yes, yes, yes," she spoke through gritted teeth.

Ed groaned, feeling himself release inside her, and seeing her fall forward as her orgasm took over, moaning loudly, muffled by the pillow. He grinned and slipped out of her, kissing up her spine. "Jesus, Liv."

Her eyes were barely open, somewhere between tired and high from the pleasure she just experienced, her body still jerking. "Oh," she smiled and moved so she was half laying on him.

He chuckled. "You okay there, beautiful?"

Olivia smiled and curled into him. "Mm," she kissed his chest. The pleasure coursing through her veins was enough to render her speechless.

Ed kissed her head and wrapped them both in the blankets, rubbing her back, feeling her breathing even out. "I love you, Mrs. Tucker."

 **A/N: Okay, so that was part one of three (maybe four) of the honeymoon chapters. So, leave a review here or on Twitter (couricshargitay) and I'll see you in Mykonos.**


	38. Eros Pt 1

**It's been a busy few days at work, but i finally got this chapter done. The honeymoon may be more than 3 chapters. This is the rest of the plane ride and the first part of the first day in Greece. I have at least 2 more things I want them to do before heading to Ireland. So, stick with me.**

Olivia moaned as she slowly brought them both down from their respective releases. She leaned down and kissed him. "Ten," She panted. "We're not even in Greece yet and I've had ten orgasms," she whispered and laughed. Feeling Ed's hands on her back, she smiled and kissed him softly.

Ed ran his hands over her sides. "You're insatiable," he whispered.

She smiled and kissed his neck and chest. "I have an incredibly sexy husband who treats me like a queen, it's hard not to want you," she kissed him gently, feeling him roll her onto her side.

He smiled. "You deserve it and so much more." He kissed her gently. "If I were to treat you as anything less than a queen, it wouldn't be right."

Olivia ran her hands over his chest. "I'm so in love with you," she whispered. "And I don't know how to thank you for loving me the way you do," she looked into his eyes. "Other than loving you with all of my heart and soul."

Ed kissed her softly, slowly. "That's the only thank you I need."

She smiled, and moved closer to him. "You'll get it every single day for the rest of my life."

He rolled her onto her back, kissing her passionately, his tongue slipping past her lips. He felt her arch into him, and he kissed down to her neck, biting gently, hearing her moan. "I love hearing you moan," he whispered, kissing down her body.

Olivia smiled, chuckling and groaning as his tongue circled her belly button. "You going for eleven before we land in Greece?"

Ed looked up at her. "Oh, no, baby." He smirked and kissed her hip bones, over her thighs, kissing her inner thighs. "Fifteen before we land in Greece," he kissed around where he knew she wanted him most.

She propped herself up on her hands, looking down at him. "You're going to give me five— ohhhh." She fell back as his tongue licked up her slit her hand held his head in place as she arched her back. "My God!"

He grinned and sucked on her clit, pushing fingers inside her. He heard her moans and he groaned, sending vibrations through her clit, feeling her muscles clamp down on his fingers, her hips thrusting into his face. He gently brought her down and took his fingers out of her, kissing up her body. "Eleven," he smirked and kissed her.

Olivia flipped them and straddled his hips, not letting him enter her yet, but grinding into him. "Mm, God, what you do to me, Ed." She moaned and leaned down and whispered. "How do you want me? Hmm?"

Ed groaned and watched her move. "You're mesmerizing," He whispered. "I want you to ride me, I want you to come so hard, then I want you sitting on my face."

She groaned. "You want to lick my pussy clean after I come all over your cock?" She asked in a whisper. "You want me to suck my come off your cock while you do it?"

He spanked her and she gasped. "Yeah baby," he whispered. "Ride me, sexy."

Olivia smirked and sank onto him, moaning. "Oh, God yeah. You fit me so perfectly baby," she whispered and leaned down and kissed him, grinding their hips together, moaning before she changed the motion of her his and she moved up and down over him. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" She kissed him and groaned as his hands moved from her ass to her hips, feeling him meet her thrusts with his own. Her mouth fell open in a silent scream, her walls contracting around him.

Ed watched her and groaned. "That's it, I want you to come so hard on my cock," he felt her move so she was sitting on his face, and she could lean over and and take him into her mouth. He started to lick up her slit, licking her clean. She moaned and started moving her hips into his face. He groaned, feeling her lean down, taking him in her mouth. His hand came up and slapped her ass.

She groaned, stroking him as she moved her hips into his face. "Mm, lick that pussy clean baby." She bit her bottom lip, feeling his tongue push inside her. "Oh, I'm so close," she whined.

He groaned and spanked her again, he pulled his tongue out of her and watched how her pussy reacted to her arousal, moaning when she took him back in her mouth. He spread her lower lips and flicked his tongue over her clit and he felt her stop, she closed her eyes and felt another orgasm take over. "Oh yeah, Liv. You're so sexy."

Olivia let out a breath, groaning, feeling him rub her clit then push his fingers inside her, riding her orgasm out. "Ed, God baby," she closed her eyes as another, more powerful orgasm took over, moaning as she moved her hips into his hand. She let out a breath and moved, kneeling on the bed where she could take him in her mouth. She smirked and stroked him. "Your turn," she whispered. "While my pussy comes down from the four orgasms I just had, I'm going to make you come. Then you can give me that fifteenth." She kissed the head of his cock and ran her tongue over the veins, before wrapping her lips around him, taking him in his entirety into her mouth, looking up at him as she worked him over.

Ed groaned, involuntarily bucking his hips into her face. She moaned and he held her hair in his hand. "Fuck, baby," he groaned.

She moaned and let him go, taking a breath, running her tongue around the head. "Come on baby. Let me taste you," she moaned, biting her bottom lip before taking back in her mouth. She feasted his release and she smiled, swallowing every drop. "Mm," she licked her lips and kissed up his body to his lips, kissing him passionately, moaning when he flipped her over. "I'm yours," she whispered.

He kissed her neck and over her chest, sucking her nipples, groaning. She gasped and held his head to her breast. She felt him stroke her clit slowly, lightly with one finger. "Mm, close your eyes and get lost in it baby."

Olivia sighed and bit her bottom lip. "Oh, Ed!" She loved when he made her come like this, with one finger, using a touch so light she could barely feel it. She arched her back, her orgasm already starting to build. "Oh yeah, baby," she whispered.

Ed smirked and kissed her inner thighs as he stroked her clit. He smiled up at her. "You're so close," he whispered. "So close to fifteen orgasms in less than ten hours. Just let go," he watched her arch her back and heard her moan as her orgasm took over, he slowly licked up her slit and brought her down.

She pulled him up and kissed him. "Fifteen," she whispered against his lips. "Holy shit," she laughed and caressed his face.

He smiled and kissed her, wrapping the blankets around them. "Should we get redressed?" He asked in a whisper, running his fingers over her sides.

Olivia smiled. "Should we? Yes. Do I want to? No. First, I want to have something to eat." She sat up and put his T-shirt on and got the bottle of champagne and the cheese out of the small refrigerator along with some olives. She sat down and popped the champagne pouring them each a glass, and bringing the snacks over, handing him a glass. "To us," she whispered. She they each took a sip of the champagne and Olivia popped and olive into her mouth. "Mm," she took another sip of champagne. "This is all perfect. I've got to spend the day so far being worshipped and made love to, treated to a private jet, incredible champagne, wonderful little snacks, it's perfect."

Ed took a piece of cheese and wrapped his arm around her. "I just wish I could give you more."

She looked at him. "More? Ed, what more could you possibly give me?"

He looked at her and blushed gently. "I was looking into surprising you with a private island," he said meekly.

Olivia's eyes went wide and she nearly choked on the piece of cheese she'd been eating. "Ed!" She looked at him, shaking her head. "I don't need a private island," she ran her hand over his chest. "Besides we have a $950,000 mortgage we're paying off." They shared a chuckle.

Ed shrugged. "I know I just thought, you should be queen of something. Even if it's only an acre of land."

She caressed his face. "Ed, according to what you tell me all the time I'm already queen of something," she kissed his cheek. "Your heart."

He looked at her and kissed her gently. "Is that enough for you?"

Olivia let her mouth fall open, then let out a small laugh. "Ed Tucker, being queen of your heart is the best thing I could ever be queen of. I don't need a parcel of land to rule over," she chuckled. "Besides I don't have a crown." They shared a laugh.

Ed kissed her again. "I can still get you a crown," he whispered. "If you wanted one."

She chuckled and shook her head. "I don't know that my squad would appreciate it. It'd probably go to my head." She kissed him gently. "Unless you have a fantasy you want to play out in the bedroom," she raised an eyebrow. "In which case, I'll be the queen if you'll be my most loyal knight."

He took another sip of his champagne and smiled. "Anything for you, my liege." He kissed her shoulder.

Olivia smiled. "So can we agree that we don't need a private island, and that everything you've done for me on this honeymoon is perfect, everything I've ever wanted."

Ed kissed the side of her head. "I love you so much," he whispered. They finished their champagne and got redressed, Olivia taking her bra out of her carry on. They cuddled up on the bed, Ed realizing that Olivia was asleep within minutes. He too, closed his eyes and fell asleep.

They lay in each other's arms sleeping for the rest of the flight, an hour and a half, before the jostling of the plane landing woke both of them up. She looked out the window and she gasped. "Ed," she looked outside. "It's beautiful here," she whispered and looked back at him.

He stood behind her and kissed her neck. "Nowhere near as beautiful as you."

The pilot walked out and nodded at them. "Thank you for flying with us, I hope you enjoyed yourselves, welcome to Mykonos, enjoy your stay. We'll have someone here for you in four days to bring you to Ireland."

Olivia looked at the pilot and nodded. "Thank you." She looked at Ed and smiled. "Have I mentioned yet how much I love you?"

Ed kissed her softly. "A time or two," he smirked. He saw the door open and the steps roll up in front of it. "Come on, beautiful, Let's go take a dip in our private pool, make love in our private hot tub," he whispered and grabbed their carry on bags. They walked off the plane and onto the tarmac and got their checked baggage there, walking through the small airport to get to the front where a limo was waiting for them.

She looked at him. "You're too good to be true."

He shrugged and opened the door for her. "My liege."

Olivia looked into his eyes as she climbed in, once he slid in next to her she rested her head against his shoulder. "I can't believe we have two weeks to ourselves." She looked at her phone, and the world clock she had set. "Before we have any adult fun in Greece we should FaceTime with the kids and your mom, it's almost their bedtime."

Ed kissed the side of her head. "Whatever you want to do."

She grinned and looked at him. "You, all night long. After we get off the phone with our babies." She kissed him slowly. "I brought some medicine with me in case I start to feel a UTI coming on, and I also have some cranberry pills with me to help prevent one."

He smirked at her. "Always prepared." He kissed her cheek.

Olivia let out a chuckle. "I've learned to bring cranberry pills with me when I travel. I've gotten them from wearing a wet bathing suit too long, too much sex, a combination of the two. I'd rather try to avoid a UTI if I can."

Ed smirked. "Well, we don't have to worry about the wet bathing suit," he leaned over and kissed her lips softly. "The sex thing, well, we can always tone it down—"

She cut him off with a kiss. "Not a chance," she whispered and rested her head on his shoulder, her hand rubbing his chest. "I can't believe we're here," she smiled and kissed his cheek.

He kissed the top of her head. "I still can't believe you're my wife."

Olivia smiled. "Believe it, baby," she whispered and kissed him softly. "Because you're my absolutely incredible husband and I fall more deliriously in love with you by the day."

Ed caressed her cheek and kissed her, slipping his tongue past her lips, and they made out until they pulled up in front of their hotel, about five minutes. He pulled away from her and smiled. "Come on, let's go call the kids, then we can go skinny dipping," he whispered and took her hand, grabbing their things from the trunk.

She walked in with him and stood next to him as he checked in, and once they got their room key and they walked up to their room she stopped in the doorway. "Oh my God," she whispered and looked at Ed. "We need to call the kids right now," she looked out at the view, tears in her eyes.

He wrapped her in his arms. "Baby, what's wrong?"

Olivia shook her head, looking out over the ocean. "Absolutely nothing." She looked at Ed. "This view is just so gorgeous," she whispered. "I just—" She shook her head.

Ed kissed her forehead. "It's okay," he whispered. He wrapped his arms around her tighter. "I love you."

She smiled and looked in his eyes. "I love you, too." She cradled his face in her hands. "If I kiss you now we won't call the kids until it's morning for them," she whispered. "Because I'm so taken aback by the beauty here, and I just want to make love to you in it," she felt tears slide down her cheeks.

He wiped her eyes and kissed her forehead. "Come on, let's call so we can start our adult activities," he grinned and kissed her cheek, walking to the bed with her, taking out her phone and calling her iPad. He smiled when he saw Noah on the other side of the screen. "Hey bud."

Olivia smiled. "Hello my sweet boy," she whispered and cuddled up with Ed.

Noah smiled. "Hi Mommy! Hi Daddy!"

Olivia smiled. "Did you have a good day? Are you being good for grandma and helping her with your sister?"

Noah smiled. "Yes Mommy. How's Greece?"

Olivia felt Ed's lips kiss the side of her head. "We haven't gotten to see too much yet, sweet boy. We just got here. But it's beautiful."

Ed saw Caroline come in the picture. "Ma, everything good over there?"

Caroline looked at the screen. "It's wonderful here, we just had some of grandma's Shepherd's Pie for dinner and we're reading some books before dessert."

Noah smiled. "Yeah! We should go so we can finish the story, and let you guys see more of Greece."

Caroline smirked. "Or not," she winked.

Olivia blushed. "Alright, we'll talk to everyone tomorrow. We love you." After they all exchanged 'love you's and 'goodbye's, Olivia made sure the FaceTime call was ended and she got up, taking her clothes off. "I'm a little warm, I'm gonna cool down with a dip in the pool," she grinned and slid into the pool, going under the water and coming up and looking at Ed. "You comin' in?" She asked with a smile, watching him get undressed. She saw him hop in and she swam over to him, and wrapped her arms around him. "Hey sexy," she kissed him softly.

Ed held her as she wrapped her body around him. "Hey yourself," he grinned and kissed her, moving her over to the wall of the pool, pressing her against it. "You're so sexy."

She groaned when she felt his lips on her neck. "Oh, Ed," she whispered and moved his face so she could look into his eyes before kissing him passionately. "I need you," she whispered.

He smirked and rubbed her back. "Tell me what you want, baby," he whispered. "How do you want to come?"

Olivia sighed and kissed him, pushing her hips into his. "You," she whispered. "Ed, all I want is you," she whispered. "Make love to me," she looked into his eyes, running her hands over his chest.

Ed leaned in and kissed her slowly, his tongue meeting hers as his hands ran over her body, his erection grazing her clit. She pulled away and moaned. He moved his lips to her neck and ear. "I love you," he whispered, biting her earlobe.

She groaned. "I love you too," she whispered. "God, baby please! Do something," she begged.

He smirked and turned her around. "Lift yourself up," He whispered. "Let me suck your clit," he whispered in her ear.

Olivia gasped and climbed out of the pool and watched him climb out and settled between her legs, she felt his lips around her clit. She arched her back and held the back of his head. "Oh," she sighed. She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip. "Mhm, just like that baby. Ooh, right there!"

Ed smirked and spread her legs further apart, touching her anywhere he could. "That's it baby," he smiled and flicked his tongue over her clit. He heard her moans. "Come on, Come for me," he whispered.

She groaned and pushed her hips up as her orgasm took over. "Ed!" She cried out, feeling him lick her clean and kiss up her body. She pulled him up to kiss him passionately. "Oh, you do that so well," she mumbled against his lips.

He smirked. "It's easy to do when you're so sexy," he whispered. He kissed her again and massaged her breasts. "Everything about you turns me on beyond belief."

Olivia reached between them and stroked him. "I can feel that," she giggled. She felt him pin her arms over her head, she pushed her hips up. "Come on baby, get inside me," she whispered.

Ed groaned and pushed inside her slowly, they both groaned. He looked into her eyes as he moved inside her. "Oh, God, Liv," he whispered and kissed her passionately.

She moaned and broke the kiss to moan. "Let me touch you," she whispered. "Mm, give me my hands I need to touch you." She felt him release her hands and she wrapped her arms around him, scratching his back. "You feel so good, baby," she whispered.

He groaned and lifted her leg to rest on his shoulder. He heard her moan, feeling her muscles contract. "Oh yeah, baby. Come for me again," he whispered.

Olivia shook her head. "Come with me baby. Please," she begged. She moaned, trying to hold on as he kept moving inside her. "God!"

Ed moved hips hips harder. "Oh, Liv." He groaned. "I'm coming," he groaned feeling her muscles clamp down around him, stilling him as he released inside her, their cries of pleasure filling the suite. He brought them down and pulled out of her, rolling them onto their sides. "Shit, baby."

She grinned and cuddled into him. "I know," she giggled and kissed his chest. "You are amazing," she kissed his lips softly. "How about we get on the bed and cuddle, the floor's a little hard."

He smirked and sat up, helping her up, walking over to the bed. "Did you want to go out tonight or stay in and just enjoy the first night of our honeymoon tangled in each other?"

Olivia smiled. "I say we stay in tonight, getting lost in each other, after a nap because that flight, while fun, was exhausting, and then tomorrow night we go out dancing and let loose." She grinned. "Get freaky on the dance floor," she whispered and ran her fingers over his chest. "So, let's take a nap, order room service and just relax and bring each other to the heights of ecstasy." She whispered to him. "All. Night. Long." She giggled and bit at his earlobe.

Ed groaned. "You're so perfect," he whispered and wrapped her in his arms, wrapping them both in the blankets on the bed.

She curled into him. "Not by a long shot. You're the perfect one," she looked up at him and smiled. "I love you so much," she whispered.

He tilted her chin up. "Now, you know I'm nowhere near perfect, Liv." He kissed her softly. "But I'll tell ya what, we're perfect together." He kissed her again and felt her hand on his cheek.

Olivia moaned gently and pulled away, looking into his eyes. "I could kiss you all day and night," she whispered. "But, we should still nap first."

Ed kissed the side of her head. "Close your eyes, Liv. I'll be right here when you wake up, waiting to kiss your soft lips," he whispered. "And eat fruit off your naked body," he smiled and held her close.

She smiled and closed her eyes. "Mm." She rested her hand on his bare chest. "Hold me," she murmured and snuggled in closer. She felt him rub her back as she drifted off to sleep.

He smiled and held her tightly. "Goodnight my love," he whispered and closed his own eyes and fell asleep. He woke up feeling Olivia's lips on his, feeling her push him to his back so she could climb on top of him, straddling his hips. He groaned and ran his hands up her back.

Olivia smiled and moaned softly, feeling his hands on her ass. She broke the kiss and smiled. "Morning, handsome," she whispered coyly.

Ed smirked and started moving her hips with his hands. "You're so sexy," he whispered, seeing her back arch and hearing her moans get louder.

She gasped. "You make me so wet, Ed," she whispered. "Should we order room service now or should we finish what we're doing?" She leaned in and kissed him passionately.

He groaned and moved his hips with hers, pulling her down to whisper in her ear. "Ride me," he kissed her passionately.

Olivia moaned and moved over him, sinking into him and gasping. "Ed!" She leaned forward as her hips moved, moaning every few seconds.

Ed ran his hands over her thighs, meeting her hips with his own thrusts. "That's it baby," he whispered, hearing her groan.

She leaned in and kissed him, feeling her breasts move against his bare chest. She broke the kiss and rested her forehead on his, her eyes still closed, her face contorted in pleasure. "Oooh!" She opened her eyes and made eye contact with him. "Yeah, right there baby."

He smirked and spanked her. "You like that?" He heard her moan and she kissed his neck. He flipped them so he was on top, and le lifted her leg to rest on his shoulder as he started moving harder and faster inside her, hearing her moans and cries of pleasure get louder and louder. "Come on, Liv. Come for me."

Olivia's back arched and she cried out as her orgasm tore through her. She felt Ed's release and she fell back against the bed, her hips still jerking involuntarily. She was out of breath, panting. "Oh my God," she whispered.

Ed smoothed her hair back as he rolled off of her. "I love being alone with you," he kissed the tip of her nose.

She smiled and curled into him. "I enjoy it myself," She cradled his face in her hands. "I love any time I get to spend with you," she whispered and kissed his chest.

He ran his hand over her side. "How did I get so lucky?" He asked her as his hand wandered her body. "To have such an incredibly beautiful woman who is kind and loving and compassionate and smart and funny, how did I get so lucky to have a woman like you fall in love with me?"

Olivia looked into his eyes. "Because you showed me those parts of yourself first. The kind and compassionate, funny, smart loving man. And I'll tell you what, I fall in love with him more and more every day. And I didn't think it was humanly possible for me to love you any more than I do, than I have but everyday you surprise me and I fall deeper and deeper in love with you."

Ed took her hand in his and kissed her knuckles before lacing their fingers together. "I will love you for all of eternity, Liv."

She smiled. "Right back at you," she whispered. She bit her bottom lip. "I was thinking, when we get back to New York," she looked into his eyes. "I want to get a tattoo. It's a bucket list thing for me. I want you to come with me." She kissed his lips.

He looked at her. "What did you want to get?"

Olivia smiled. "Well, I saw a design for family that I want to get, it's simple and it represents the four of us. But I also want something that just symbolizes you and me," she looked into his eyes. "I want the words, 'Until the Very End' right here." She pointed to her side, under the line of where her bra would normally fall. "Because that's how long I'm going to love you for," she whispered.

Ed smiled and kissed her. "I like that. I think it'll be sexy, sweet." He kissed her forehead. "Of course I'll go with you."

She smiled and kissed his chest. "I love you," she whispered, looking up at him and kissing his lips softly. "We should probably order room service. All we've eaten today has been cheese and olives."

He smiled and looked at her, caressing her face. "I'll get us some food."

Olivia smiled. "We should try some Ouzo while we're here." She sat up next to him and wrapped her arms around his arm, kissing his shoulder. "Some fruit, ouzo, maybe some protein." She moved to sit behind him, wrapping her arms around him, kissing his neck. "Keep our energy up," she whispered.

Ed groaned and turned his head to kiss her. "You need to let me order so we can eat."

She giggled. "I'm not doing anything," she kissed his jaw. "I can if you want me to," she whispered in his ear.

He smirked. "As soon as I get off the phone you can do whatever you want to me."

 **A/N: More Greece in 39. Stay tuned. Leave a review, her or on Twitter (couricshargitay) in the meantime.**


	39. Eros Pt 2

**I swear the characters have a mind of their own sometimes, no matter how badly I want them to do something, sometimes they just don't. Anyway, trigger Warning on this chapter for discussion of sexual assault.**

Olivia looked in the mirror of their bathroom, applying her makeup just a touch heavier than normal. She was in a lacy lingerie set, and she didn't want to get makeup on her dress. Once she finished her smokey eye, complete with winged liner, and red lipstick she added a gold highlight and walked out to the bedroom, stepping into a dress that was contoured to the curves of her body. It was white with gold detailing, she looked at Ed. "Zip me up?" She asked with a smile, feeling his hands on her hips.

Ed had on dark wash jeans that hung low on his hips and a black polo shirt. He dragged the zipper up her back and kissed the back of her neck. "You're so sexy," he whispered.

She turned to face him and let her eyes run over his body. "Right back at you." She ran her hands over his chest. "You know I love you in a polo," she bit her bottom lip and kissed him softly. "Let me just finish my hair and we can go have some fun," she whispered. She walked back into the bathroom, her gold, strappy heels clicking on the floor, and she added a beachy curl to her hair before walking back out. "Ready?" She asked, sidling up next to him.

He looked at her and groaned. "You look like a goddess." He rested his hands on her hips. "You sure you want to go to a club? We can make our own right here, I'll put on some dance music," he leaned in to whisper. "And we won't get arrested for having sex in public, because the second you shake your ass in this dress— mm."

Olivia chuckled. "Fine, we come back here and dance. At least take me to dinner. We're in Mykonos and all we've seen is the view from the room. Not that I'm complaining, it's absolutely breathtaking. But we should probably be able to tell Noah more about Greece than the gorgeous sunsets and white sand beaches." She raised her eyebrow.

Ed wrapped his arms around her. "I can do dinner," he whispered. "God I can't get enough of you in this dress," his hands ran over her ass.

"If you're not careful we'll wind up in the bed ordering more room service," she grinned, feeling him spank her. "Mm," she turned in his arms. "We'll stay in tonight if you promise that we can go shopping tomorrow," she said with a smirk.

Ed ran his hands over her body. "We can do whatever you want tomorrow, but this dress—"

Olivia giggled. "Thought you'd like it." She grabbed her phone and searched for a playlist and when she found one with music that had some good beats she pressed play and turned in his arms, starting to move to the beat, biting her lip.

Ed held her hips and kissed her as they moved together. She broke the kiss and turned back around, her ass grinding against him. He groaned. "Fuck, Liv."

She smirked, turning around and walking him over to a chair and sitting him down. "You want me to strip for you?"

He looked at her and smirked. "Only If I get to touch."

Olivia smirked and stood over him, kissing him passionately. "You get to do so much more," she whispered, feeling him pull her zipper down her back. "Thank you," she whispered. She stood up and kept her body moving to the beat and slowly took off her dress. She got on her knees and slowly crawled towards him, standing up once she was in front of him, walking so she was behind him. "You're so sexy," she whispered and ran her hands over his chest.

Ed groaned. "Come here, I want to see you," He took her hand as she walked back around and sat sideways on his lap, crossing her legs. "Much better," he kissed her collarbone and her neck, hearing her groan. "You look amazing in this lingerie," he whispered.

She smiled. "You think so?" She asked, moving so she was straddling him. "I think I look better without it," she smirked and ran her hands over his chest. "You seem a little overdressed," She took his shirt off and kissed him, letting out a gentle groan. "Mm, better. Still too many clothes, though."

He looked her over. "Well I quite enjoy it when you're naked myself." He blushed. "But the way this color looks on your skin is just breathtaking. The light pink against your olive skin, that's only gotten more tan since we've been here, it looks incredible. And you are so sexy in it."

Olivia smiled and kissed him again. "I wish we had more of the fruit we got yesterday, just so you could eat it off me again," she giggled and felt his hands on her back. "I loved the feeling of your tongue and your teeth all over my skin. It felt so good." She moaned and arched into him.

Ed held her hips. "Why don't we have a soak in the hot tub and then we'll get some fruit and I'll eat it off you." He kissed her neck and ran his hands up to massage her breasts. "How's that sound?"

She smiled. "That sounds orgasmic," she whispered. She looked into his eyes. "Help me out of my lingerie and my shoes?"

He held her hips as he stood up. "My pleasure." He ran his hands up her back and unhooked her bra, taking it off and looking at her. "My God," he whispered. He picked her up and lay her down on the bed, resting her leg on his shoulder, kissing her calf, unbuckling her shoe and sliding it off her foot, leaning over her. "I want you so bad," he whispered, kissing her.

Olivia groaned and watched as he took her other shoe off, feeling him pull her lacy thong off. She ran her hands over her body. "Mm, let me get you out of those clothes, then get me in the hot tub. Let's have some fun."

Ed climbed off of her and helped her up, feeling her hands starting to unbutton his jeans, pushing them down, their lips pressed together. He picked her up and carried her over to the hot tub. He turned it on. She climbed in and he followed. He stood behind her, walking her towards the corner and kissing her neck. "God, you're so sexy."

She knelt at the corner, feeling the jet hit her clit. She gasped. "Ooh," she gripped the edge of the hot tub. "Mm, this is amazing." She looked back at him. "Only one thing that would make it better. You inside me."

He ran his hand up and down her back, spanking her ass, hearing her moan. "You want me to fuck you?" He whispered in her ear.

Olivia moaned. "Mm, yeah. It won't take me long, baby. I'm already so close, feeling this water on my—" she gasped and let out a loud moan as the spray of the jet brought her to a glorious orgasm. Her scream was silent when Ed pushed into her. She closed her eyes and leaned back, her orgasm still coursing through her as Ed moved inside her. "Oh, fuck me!" She exclaimed feeling him pull her hair. "Yeah baby. Right there. Oooh, just like that." She rested against him as he moved inside of her, turning her head and kissing him passionately. "Come on baby. Come for me." She begged and heard his groan and felt his release, her orgasm strengthening to full force.

Ed smirked and brought her down, moving her away from the jet. "You like that?" He whispered and let his hands rom her body.

She giggled and turned in his arms. "Mm," she kissed him and walked him back to the side of the hot tub. "I love what you do to me," she whispered and kissed his neck. "I love how you know just what to do to make me come."

He groaned and lifted her up, his hands on her ass. "I just love making you feel good," he whispered in her ear. "I love hearing you when we're intimate. Your voice either gets really low and throaty or it gets really high pitched. It depends on how close you are to orgasm, and what kind of orgasm you're having," he whispered.

Olivia smiled. "And I love the way you describe me orgasming," she whispered. "I love how you pay attention when I orgasm." She shrugged one shoulder. "I love you. All of you."

Ed let her down and kissed her slowly. "I love you too. The past couple days getting to be alone with you, not worried about noise level, not worried about anything but loving each other, it's been incredible. I wouldn't trade our kids for anything, but getting some time with just you, I love it."

She wrapped him in her arms. "You took the words right out of my mouth." She kissed him softly and ran her hands over his chest. "I am the luckiest person in the world to get to spend the rest of my life with a man who pays such close attention to me, and cherishes me so much." She cradled his face. "I hit the jackpot when we got into a relationship, and it tripled when I married you."

He caressed her face. "I am so lucky that you agreed to date me, to marry me, to have my child." He kissed her forehead. "I'm so lucky that you let me love you. The way you deserve."

Olivia smiled and looked from his eyes to his lips. "I'm just lucky to have someone who loves me," she ran her thumbs over his hips. "Even when I don't think I'm lovable."

Ed held her close, his hands running over her back. "You are always lovable. Always."

She sniffled and looked up at him. "I know I'm not always the best at showing it, Ed. I know that there have been times when I've been a terrible wife while I was trying to be a better mother and cop. But, Ed, you have to know how much I love you, know how much I appreciate and cherish you," she felt tears in her eyes.

He wiped her eyes and kissed her again. "Hey, I know," he whispered and kissed the top of her head. "I know, baby." He held her tight. "Let's get dinner and lay in bed okay?"

Olivia nodded. "I'm sorry that I let wife fall by the wayside sometimes," she said and wiped her eyes.

Ed kissed her temple and climbed out, helping her out. "Don't worry about it," he whispered and wrapped her in his arms. "I know that you're doing your best."

She nodded, still feeling bad, but she wouldn't let her self deprecating thoughts win. "I am. But I'm going to try to do better. Because you deserve to know every day just how much I love you." She wrapped her arms around him, a shiver running down her spine. "Let's get under the covers, I'm a little chilly."

He kissed her head and carried her to the bed, climbing under the blankets with her. "Liv, I know that you're thinking that this is why no one ever stays, because things come up. I'm telling you, I'm not going anywhere."

Olivia looked at him. "You know?" She saw him nod and she buried her head in his chest, feeling tears run down her face. "I'm sorry," she shook her head and wiped her eyes. "God, I'm sorry, she sobbed and felt him hold her tighter. "It's our honeymoon I shouldn't be laying in bed with you sobbing," she wiped her eyes. "I'm ruining our honeymoon."

Ed rubbed her back. "You're not ruining anything," he whispered. He kissed the top of her head. "I wish I could take away all the bad thoughts. I wish you could see yourself the way I do." He held her close. "You don't have to stuff the tears in front of me, Liv. Let it out," he whispered. "It'll all be okay."

She curled into his chest and sobbed harder, letting the tears wash over her, exhausting herself, falling asleep. Ed held her tighter. He wished he could take away her pain. He knew her worst enemy was her own head, and he wished he could take it all away. After about an hour he fell asleep as well. She stirred a couple hours later and looked up at Ed, kissing his lips softly. She got out of bed and went to the bathroom. She walked back to the bed and sat next to him, gently touching his arm. He stirred and she smiled softly. "Go back to sleep, my love. I didn't mean to wake you."

He pulled her closer and kissed her. "We never ate, you want something?" He asked, looking at the clock. "They'll still do room service for a couple more hours."

Olivia smiled and caressed his face. "You amaze me, Ed Tucker." She took his hand. "We should put something in our stomachs." She said gently. The bit her bottom lip. "Thanks for letting me cry before," she whispered. "I know I kind of put a damper on the mood. You know, I get in my own head and it's not always a pretty place."

Ed sat up and kissed her softly. "You don't have to thank me, that's my job. I want to be where you run to when you need comfort. Whether we're on our couch at home or in Greece, I want to be able to make you feel better. Feel safe."

She moved closer to him. "You make me feel all those things and more," she whispered and pulled out the room service menu. "What are you getting?"

He looked over. "That moussaka looks pretty good. What about you."

Olivia smiled. "I think I'm going to go with the spanakopita with a Greek salad on the side. Should we get dessert?" She asked gently, looking at his lips. "Because you know I have a sweet tooth. Especially here. All the deserts are so light and airy."

Ed smiled and kissed her cheek. "Whatever you want, baby," he whispered. He saw her eyes meet his and she kissed him gently. He broke the kiss and searched her eyes. "Order food so I can kiss you," he whispered, looking at her lips.

She was mesmerized by him and she nodded. She called and ordered room service, asking for fresh fruit instead of one of the pastries, since she couldn't make up her mind. She hung up the phone after she ordered and smiled when she felt Ed's lips on her neck. "Mm," she tilted her head to the opposite side, giving him plenty of access to the skin of her neck.

He smiled, her back pressed against his front. "You're beautiful." He whispered in her ear, his hands running over her thighs, and up to her breasts. "You're perfect," he whispered and turned her head gently kissing her lips softly.

Olivia moaned and rested her hand on his head as they kissed. She turned so she was facing him, kissing him again. "I love you," she whispered as they kept kissing.

Ed pulled her closer, his hands running over her back. "I love you, too." He laid them both down as they kissed, wrapping her in his arms. They heard a knock at the door and he slowly broke away from the kiss. "I'll get it," he whispered and climbed out of bed and put his robe on, walking to the door to get their dinner. He rolled the cart over to the bed and he smiled. "Hungry?"

She smiled and sat up. "Famished," she watched him get on the bed and leaned in to kiss him softly. She broke the kiss and smiled. "I could kiss you all night long," she whispered.

He caressed her face and smiled. "Let's eat first, then you can kiss me all you want." He brought their food on the bed after lifting the dome lids, handing her the dinner she ordered. "Enjoy," he whispered.

Olivia smiled and poured them both some of the ozuo they'd ordered the night before and clinked his glass with her own. She took a bite of the spanakopita and closed her eyes. "Mm, so good." She poked at Ed. "You want a bite?" She asked gently, seeing him nod she put a bite on her fork and held it to his lips, watching him eat it. "Good?"

Ed kissed her temple. "You taste better," he smirked and saw her blush. "But it's pretty good." He picked up an olive with his fork and held it to her lips, watching her take it into her mouth. "You're so sexy." He kissed her temple and they ate their dinner and drank more of the ouzo.

She finished her dinner and looked at him, kissing his lips softly. She felt his hands on her ass and she let out a moan and broke the kiss. "That ouzo is strong," she whispered and giggled, feeling the alcohol starting to affect her.

He nodded. "Ninety six percent alcohol, just a smidge more than everclear."

Olivia smiled and ran her hands over his chest. "Either way, I'm glad I get to drink it surrounded by the beauty of Greece and wrapped in the arms of my incredibly sexy husband," she whispered and kissed him softly, pushing him onto his back as her hips started to grind into his. After a few moments she stopped and sprang off him, running to the bathroom to throw up. After a few minutes she stood up and brushed her teeth, turning to see Ed. "Guess I had a little too much ouzo," she sighed and rested her head on his chest. "Nothing makes me feel older than getting sick after drinking."

Ed rubbed her back. "You never got sick when you were younger?"

She chuckled. "A few times, but I had way more to drink then. Now I get sick on a quarter of what I used to drink." She shrugged. "Oh well, I may not be able to drink like a twenty one year old, but at least I can still have sex like one," she giggled and kissed his chest.

He kissed the top of her head. "You know, I don't think you do." He saw her head shoot up. "Hear me out." He chuckled and caressed her face. "I don't know about you, but when I was twenty one, sex for me was about getting off. It wasn't about a deeper connection. Honestly until about two years ago it wasn't about a deeper connection for me. I knew what I liked but i didn't know how to truly please a woman. I didn't know what a woman thought felt good. I got better as I got older, and then I fell in love. Truly fell in love. And I'm having the best sex I've ever had with my sexy, beautiful, alluring wife."

Olivia blushed and shrugged a little bit. "Maybe you're right. I always knew what felt good to me. I also knew how to get a man off, but I was bad at communicating what I needed to feel good." She looked up at him. "Even if a man, before, gave me an orgasm, it was usually a fluke. Then, I started dating this incredibly sexy NYPD Captain who asked what I liked, and wouldn't take my usual breathy moans of 'you' and 'your cock' as an answer. That Captain wanted to know exactly what I needed to have an orgasm. And ever since then I've been having mind blowing orgasms." She grinned and kissed his lips.

Ed kissed her back. "I better be that NYPD Captain or I'm going to have to kick someone's ass."

She chucked and ran her hands over his chest. "Of course it's you," she whispered. "You are the only man who has ever consistently brought me to an orgasm without me having to rub my clit either during or after. When I say I can't move when we're done, I really, genuinely can't. The only other person to get me off the way you do, is me," she smirked and kissed him softly.

He smirked and wrapped his arms around her, pulling back from the kiss. "The only thing better than getting to make you orgasm myself is to watch you bring yourself to orgasm."

Olivia smiled and kissed him gently. "Now I wish I'd have brought a toy or two with us. I just didn't want to risk having to explain it to Customs."

Ed smirked and ran his hands over her back. "I can wait til we get home to watch you play," he whispered.

She smiled and kissed him again. "Well, you won't have to wait that long for me to play with you," she whispered against his lips. "Maybe just until we wake up in the morning," she kissed him again.

He smiled. "I can handle that." He took her hands. "Come back to bed, have some fruit, I'll get you some water."

Olivia followed him back to the bedroom and she sat on the bed, smiling when Ed gave her a water bottle. "You take such good care of me." She took a sip of the water and put the bottle on the nightstand next to the bed. "Come hold me, feed me some fruit?"

Ed smiled and crawled in next to her, wrapping her in his arms, taking a fig and holing it to her lips and seeing her take a bite. She let out an appreciative moan and leaned back against him. He kissed the back of her head. "I love you, so much," he whispered.

She smiled. "I love you, too." She looked up at him, taking a fresh berry and holding it to his lips. She watched him take the berry into his mouth and she smiled. She looked into his eyes and leaned in to kiss him softly. She broke the kiss and moved the fruit out of the way. "You remember how I said you'd have to wait until tomorrow until I played with you?" She kissed his lips again, moving on top of him, kissing down his body. "I don't think I can wait that long to touch you," she whispered and ran her hands over his thighs.

He groaned and looked at her. "Whatever you want Liv." He saw her lean down and felt her lips around him. He groaned. "Oh, shit." He gripped her hair as her lips moved over him, agonizingly slowly, his eyes falling closed.

Olivia smiled and let her tongue slowly run over his shaft, around the head. "Mm, so hard baby." She stroked him, hearing him moan. "You like that?" She took him back in her mouth and used her fingers to run over his skin, feather light. She heard his groans get louder, his breath getting heavy.

Ed let out a moan. "Jesus, fuck." His hips bucking into her, feeling his cock slide down her throat, groaning when he heard her moan. "Sorry," He whispered.

She released him with a pop and took a breath. "Don't apologize baby." She kissed the tip of his penis, letting her tongue run over it, hearing him let out another moan. She smirked and took him back in her mouth, still moving slowly, sucking gently.

He pulled her hair gently, causing her to moan. "Oh, yeah. Don't stop!" He felt her hand start to play with his balls, her other hand still lightly tracing shapes on his inner thigh. "Oh, fuck, Liv. I'm gonna come." He pulled her up and gripped her hips, leaning in to whisper in her ear. "I want to come in your pussy."

Olivia groaned and kissed him, straddling his hips, sinking onto his hard cock. She moaned and broke the kiss and looked into his eyes, feeling his hands on her hips, she started slowly riding him. "Oh, Ed!" She moaned.

Ed groaned as his hips met hers. "Ah, shit." He pulled her in for a passionate kiss, rolling them over so he was on top and he started moving into her slightly harder and slightly faster. He felt her muscles start to contract around her. "That's it baby. Come around my cock."

She moaned and arched her back, her eyes rolling back in her head. "Fuck yes!" She cried out in pleasure, her hips meeting his, feeling him speed up. Her mouth fell open as another, stronger orgasm tore through her and he released inside of her. She held his hips to still him and she closed her eyes, catching her breath. "Oh my God." She smiled and looked at him. "You're incredible."

Ed rolled off of her, hearing her moan when he slipped out of her. "Right back at you," he whispered and held her close. "Did I hurt you when my hips—"

She cut him off. "You didn't hurt me, baby. I'm okay." She took his hand. "I wouldn't want to have your cock that far down my throat the whole time I'm working you with my mouth, but for the two seconds it happened, it was fine."

He kissed her forehead. "Are you sure?"

Olivia looked at him. "You didn't take a cigarette to my skin, I—" she stopped herself realizing what she just said, realizing the only person she'd told that detail to was Lindstrom.

Ed caught it. "What?"

She sat up and looked at him, her mouth feeling dry. "I— Lewis." She shook her head and wiped her eyes. "Bastard." She whispered.

He sat next to her and pulled her close. "What did he do?"

Olivia looked at him, tears pricking at her eyes. "He um— at the beach house, I needed to go to the bathroom and he wouldn't untie me, so he… he helped me." She looked up at the ceiling, trying to control her tears. "After he— after he helped me, he made me 'thank' him. With my mouth," she looked down at the bed, finding the scar on her shoulder. "He kept his penis down my throat so long I passed out without him getting to finish, he burned my shoulder. I woke up, and he started again," she bit her bottom lip. She looked at Ed and felt about two inches tall. "I should have told you earlier."

Ed held her tighter. "Have you told anyone?"

She cuddled into him. "Lindstrom." She shrugged. "It wasn't in any of the reports. I made sure they wouldn't see any trace of it in the rape kit." She looked down again. "I was too ashamed to admit it to anyone other than Lindstrom. The whole thing was humiliating enough, especially at trial, but I couldn't look my squad in the eye after they knew that detail. They already looked at me with pity in their eyes when I came back. I didn't want any more."

He closed his eyes and kissed the back of her head. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Olivia shrugged. "I didn't want you to think that I don't enjoy that." She looked at him. "I love getting you off with my mouth and my hands. I feel— powerful, and sexy." She kissed his chest softly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I haven't told anyone but Lindstrom. That's just the one thing that happened with Lewis that I was too ashamed to admit." She let out a breath, feeling a tear fall from her eye. "But it sure as hell feels good to get off my chest."

Ed closed his eyes. "No matter what that monster did to you, you will always be powerful and sexy. I will always find you sexy, no matter what, okay? You can tell me anything, anything, and nothing will change how I see you."

She nodded. "I'm glad it came out," she whispered, and closed her eyes. "Don't be mad?"

He kissed the top of her head. "Of course not," he whispered. He lay down with her and felt her fall asleep on his chest. "I love you, Olivia Margaret Tucker."

 **A/N: Alright, next chapter we're at 40. CAN YOU BELIEVE? What was supposed to be 2 chapters of PWP is almost 40 with a fleshed out storyline. I'm in awe that you guys still enjoy this story so much. Leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay). See you soon!**


	40. Mo Anam Cara

**Remember what I said about characters having a mind of their own? Yeah...**

Olivia lay on the bed, cuddled up with her husband, napping as they flew from Mykonos to Dublin. He held her close, stroking her arm. Olivia had been asleep since they reached cruising altitude. They'd been up most of the night enjoying their last night in Greece, taking advantage of the private pool and hot tub in their room. She stirred and her eyes opened slowly, looking up at Ed, a smile on her face. "Hey," she whispered.

Ed caressed her cheek and kissed her forehead. "Hey yourself," he whispered. He kissed her neck and smirked when he heard her moan. "Sleep well?"

She let out a small moan and climbed on top of him, leaning down and kissing him slowly, their tongues meeting as his hands ran up her back. "Mm," she broke the kiss and smiled. "Always, when I'm wrapped in your arms."

He held her hips, pushing her shirt up, using his thumbs to brush over her hip bones. "Good," he looked up at her. "You're so sexy," he whispered. "I can't get enough of you." He raked his eyes over her body. "There isn't enough time left in the world for me to love you as much as I want to."

Olivia caressed his cheek. "Until the very end. Until the end of time." She kissed him softly. "Love me until then, and it'll be enough. More than enough. I promise."

Ed ran his hands up her back. "Let me kiss you," He whispered.

She smiled and pushed him down on his back, laying on top of him, running her fingers over his lips. "You never have to ask for a kiss," she whispered. She kissed him softly. She moaned when he flipped them over, moving to kiss her neck. She arched her back and moaned. "Baby," she whispered, closing her eyes, pushing her hips up into his.

He groaned and moved his hand under her pants and into her panties and pushed his fingers inside her. He heard her gasp. "Oh, you're so wet," he smirked and kissed her lips. "All this from a kiss?"

Olivia arched her back, letting out a moan, holding his wrist, grinding her hips into his hand. "Mm, what you do to me," she whispered. She felt the heel of his hand rub against her clit and her mouth fell open in a silent scream.

Ed groaned as he continued moving his fingers in and out of her, hard and fast as she writhed beneath him. "You like that baby?"

She sighed and pulled him in for a kiss as she closed her knees, trapping his hand between her legs as she moved her hips harder into his had. "Oh, Ed!" She whispered. "Oh my God, Ed, I'm coming. Oh—" she arched off the bed and groaned as he slowed his fingers, pulling his hand out of her panties and smiling, groaning when she took his hand and started to suck his fingers clean.

He groaned at the sensation, which went right to his already hardened cock and made it harder. She opened her eyes and looked into his as her lips moved over his fingers. "Fuck," he whispered.

Olivia bit her bottom lip and flipped them again, kneeling between his legs, pulling his jeans and boxers down, groaning when she saw how aroused he already was, her eyes widened as she licked her lips. She took him into her mouth and moved her lips over him, hearing him moan. She took all of him in her mouth, moaning as she moved over him. She pulled away and stroked him. "So hard," she whispered and ran her tongue over him, sucking his balls as she stroked him, hearing his moans get deeper and longer. "Come on baby," she whispered. "Let me taste you," she whispered, wrapping her lips around the head of his cock, gently sucking, flicking her tongue over it. Hearing him let out a final moan as he released into her mouth, she pulled away and swallowed every drop before slinking back up to lay next to him. "I love that I can do that for you."

Ed looked at her and kissed her softly. "I know you know that I don't expect you to do that. And I know that you want to, and I have to tell you, knowing that you want to get me off with your mouth, even after what you told me the other day, makes me feel so special, and I think it's so sexy—"

She smiled and kissed him gently. "You are special, Ed." She caressed his face. "I would do anything for you. Anything."

He kissed her gently. "Right back at you, Liv." He held her close. He stroked her hair and saw her eyes looking up at him. "You are so beautiful."

Olivia blushed and ran her fingers over his chest. "What's a fantasy that you have, other than the whole Queen/Knight thing. Because that's coming true as soon as we get our hands on a tiara. But what else. What have you always wanted, with me or anyone?"

Ed looked at her. "We don't have to do it. You, as you are, are exactly what I need."

She furrowed her brow and sat up. "Ed, what is it?" She asked, searching his eyes.

He shrugged. "Ever since you told me what a flashlight is, I've wanted to see you be with another woman." He hung his head.

Olivia lifted his chin and smiled when she met his eyes. "Hey, why are you hanging your head?" She kissed him gently. "That could likely be arranged, but I have one condition," she kissed over to whisper in his ear. "I'm the only woman you put your cock in," she smiled and looked at him. "I'd be too jealous to see you fuck anyone else," she kissed his shoulder. "Any fantasies as to whom?"

Ed lifted his eyes. "This is the part where that whole, we don't have to do it, comes into play."

She tilted her head. "Who?"

He shrugged. "Rita."

Olivia lifted her brows. "Rita. Rita Calhoun, Rita?" She sat down and averted her eyes, licking her lips. "I—"

Ed cut her off. "I told you, we don't have to. I know how you feel about Rita, especially after the comedian case. You asked."

She nodded. "I know, I guess I just wasn't expecting you to say your ex." She bit back the tears. "Uh, I'll be right back, I have to go to the bathroom." She got up and walked to the bathroom, sitting on the closed toilet lid and wiping her eyes. She sniffled.

He ran his hands over his face. He stood up and pulled his pants up, walking to the bathroom and knocking. "Liv, baby, can we talk about this?" He asked softly, gently knocking.

Olivia stood up and opened the door, letting him stand in the doorway, there wasn't a lot of room in the bathroom. "I shouldn't be upset about this Ed. I know you love me, and not Rita," she bit her bottom lip and shook her head. "I shouldn't be bothered by this, but I am. And I'm sorry it bothers me," she looked up at him. "But Rita— that jealousy would be so in the forefront, because she knows how you feel inside of her. She knows the magic of your tongue and your fingers." She wiped away a tear that fell. "And she knew first," she shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe I'm jealous because I was so bull headed then," she shook her head. "I don't know." She stood up and moved into his arms. "I'm sorry." She rested her head on his chest.

Ed rubbed her back. "I'm sorry I brought that up," he whispered. "I could have literally said anything, and I chose that," he shook his head.

She smiled and looked up at him. "Look, I've never seen Rita naked, or in anything but a suit, but even though I can't stand her, I can and do acknowledge that she's pretty." She kissed his lips. "I just wouldn't be able to enjoy her pleasing me or me pleasing her, because seeing you two, naked, in the same room, I'd likely be instantly full of rage."

He stroked her hair and smiled. "Liv, can I tell you why I'd pick Rita?" He felt her nod against his chest. "Because as much as you two don't like each other, you have a lot in common. You're both smart and independent, fiercely independent, you're both strong." He lifted her head. "And I think the biggest reason, is you're both insanely loyal, so much so that I don't think a threesome with the two of you would happen. Rita respects us too much, and so do you. It's a fantasy, Liv. I don't want to share you with anyone, man or woman. I don't want to share you."

Olivia let out a breath and looked at him, shaking her head. "You're a pain in my ass sometimes, you know that?"

Ed smirked and kissed her gently. He broke this kiss and caressed her face. "So I guess nothing's changed since the first time we met, has it?"

She smiled and shook her head. "Everything's changed," she whispered. "And I wouldn't have it any other way." She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him, feeling him press her against the door jamb. She let out a small moan and deepened the kiss, arching into him. "I love you," she whispered.

He caressed her face. "I love you, too." He kissed her cheek and led her back to the bed, wrapping her in his arms. "What about you, what's your fantasy?" He asked in a whisper.

Olivia closed her eyes and smiled. "If I could have the absolute promise of anonymity, and that it would be kept secret, I'd like to make a sex tape," she shrugged. "When I was younger, before I got into SVU, I used to want to go to a sex party, but I've seen too many of them go south. There was a time when going to a sex party and watching people have sex, or even just make out, having everyone watch them— there's a time that would have gotten me so turned on," she whispered. "But being in SVU, even the exclusive sex parties where you need an invitation and, from what I understand, are safe, they just fill me with anxiety." She looked up at him.

Ed grinned and kissed her lips and her neck. "There are ways," he whispered. "Ways we could encrypt the video so we're the only ones who can see it." He bit her earlobe. "If that's what you want," he whispered in her ear.

She let out a breath and closed her eyes. She nodded. "Yeah. God, I'd love that." She looked into his eyes, feeling him settle on top of her. "We could have fun," she whispered, "we can record whatever you want." She smiled and craned her neck up to kiss his lips, heeling his hands take hers and hold them by the sides of her heads.

He smiled. "Whatever you want," he clarified. "I wouldn't be able to pick, Liv. I'd want to record it all, have every one of your orgasms memorialized forever."

Olivia smirked. "You just want to watch me orgasm so you have something to get yourself off to," she whispered and pushed her hips up. "I want to watch," she whispered.

Ed ground their hips together, both letting out a moan. "Whenever you want, baby," He nibbled on her ear.

She let out a breath. "Oh, you make me so hot, baby." She felt his lips on her neck and she moaned.

He grinned. "I just want you, always." He let her hands go, pushing her shirt up, kissing her skin, running his tongue around her belly button. He heard her moans and felt her fingers in his hair. "You're so alluring."

Olivia smiled and gasped, pulling him back up to look into his eyes. "I love how much you love me. I love how much you crave me, because I crave you just as much." She kissed him gently. "Remember how you said you didn't want to share me with anyone, man or woman?" She saw him nod. "I don't want to share you either." She kissed him softly. She pulled away and smiled. "I'm selfish, and I want you all to myself. For as long as I live, Ed."

Ed smiled and kissed her gently, rolling off of her, holding her close. He caressed her face. "You've got me, Liv. Until my last breath." He stroked her arm and checked the time. "We should be in Dublin in a couple of hours. How about we get some more sleep so we're well rested before we go exploring, get some real bourbon, have a little fun back at the resort before we head to the castle."

She smiled and pulled the blankets over both of them. "As long as you hold me," she whispered.

He kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms around her. "Anything, baby." They settled into the pillow, closing their eyes, and falling into a peaceful slumber until the changing altitude popped their ears as they descended into Dublin.

 **A/N: So, there ya go. Chapter 40. Next chapter coming soon. Leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay). Not sure the next time I'll update, classes start up again tomorrow (Tuesday), so it'll depend on my work load. See ya around!**


	41. Putting it Out There

**Okay, so I didn't think anyone would want the threesome, but I was wrong, so... guess we're having a threesome in this story. The actual threesome is coming soon, this kind of sets it up. And I didn't intend for this chapter to be as smutty as it is. It just happened. Anyway, enjoy.**

Once they deplaned in Ireland, Olivia stopped in her tracks, mesmerized by the scenery, feeling tears in her eyes at the sheer beauty. And this was just the airport. She felt Ed's lips on her temple and she looked up at him. "Sorry, I—" She shook her head. "It's breathtaking here. And we're only on the tarmac," she wiped her eyes.

Ed took her hand and walked with her through the airport with their bags in tow, grabbing the limo in the front. "It only gets more beautiful."

She looked at him and kissed him softly. "Ed," she whispered gently. "I know you said that you don't want to share me, but God's honest truth, if you had an opportunity to see me and—" she stopped and took a deep breath. "Rita, together, would you want to?"

He held her close. "Liv, don't worry about it, okay?"

Olivia looked at him. "Ed, you do so much for me. If I can fulfill a fantasy of yours, I want to at least try." She shrugged. "If this is something you truly want, then I'll do everything in my power to try to make it happen. I just want you to get everything you desire."

Ed looked at her. "I used to think about it. Before we were official. I used to think about you, when Rita and I were still hooking up. Liv, yes it would be hot as hell."

She nodded. "Okay," she kissed him softly. "That's all I needed to hear."

He looked at her. "You don't need to—"

Olivia kissed him gently. "I don't need to. I want to. Because it's going to make you happy. You've given me everything Ed. I've told you time and time again, I'd do anything for you. Even if it means playing nice with someone I can't stand. For you, I'd do anything."

Ed kissed her again. "If you're sure," he whispered. "I don't want to force you into it."

She smiled. "You're not," she whispered and kissed him gently. She looked at him. "Now, did you really used to picture me while you were with her?"

He smirked. "Probably too much," he chuckled. "I'm not proud of it, Liv. She was a body, just like I was to her. There was no love there. We scratched an itch for each other."

Olivia smiled. "Makes me feel a little better," she whispered and kissed him. "Look, If this happens, I want it to be the best thing for all of us involved." She kissed him. "I want everyone to have fun and enjoy themselves."

Ed looked at her and smiled. "I think it'll be good. Even if the two of you hate each other."

She shrugged. "Hate fucks can be incredible." She laughed and kissed him again, before looking out the window, seeing a pasture of sheep. "Okay, enough about Rita. We can talk about the logistics of our adult play date when we get home. Let's enjoy our honeymoon, and enjoy each other."

He kissed her slowly as the limo drove them to their resort. It stopped in front and Olivia looked around. "Welcome to our first stop in Ireland."

Olivia tore her eyes away from the majesty of the castle in front of her to look into Ed's eyes. "I thought we were staying in the castle second."

Ed kissed her gently. "That's the mini castle, where it's us and the staff. This is a castle they turned into a hotel," he smiled. "And we have the best room," he whispered.

She smiled and kissed him again. "Well get me inside and let the queen fuck the knight," she whispered in his ear.

He groaned and kissed her gently. "Come on," he whispered and took her hand. "My liege." They walked into the hotel and checked into the suite. They walked through the castle to their room and Ed stood behind her as soon as they got in the sitting room, kissing her neck. "Fit for a Queen."

Olivia smiled and let out a small moan. "This is all breathtaking," she whispered and turned in his arms. "Now, my knight, I want you." She leaned in and kissed him, pulling him in by his shirt. "Worship my body," she whispered. She felt him lift her shirt over her head, kissing his way down her body, looking up at her as he knelt before her. She groaned and ran her fingers through his hair. "Mm."

Ed smiled and looked at her, unbuttoning her jeans and pulling them off her hips, leaving her in a lace bra and panties. "My God, you're so sexy," he whispered. He licked her slit over her lace panties, hearing her moan. He looked up at her and moved her panties to the side, licking up her slit again. He felt her hand on the top of his head and kissed her inner thighs.

She sighed, her hips jerking into his face as he continued to tease her with his tongue. "Ed!" She gasped, feeling his lips wrap around her clit. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back, feeling her knees start to give. He stood up and picked her up, one arm under her legs.

He brought her over to the bed and laid her down, pulling her panties off, and kneeling between her legs on the bed, moving to continue licking her pussy, pushing his fingers inside her, hearing her moan. "You're intoxicating."

Olivia arched her back and let her hands massage her breasts. "Oh—" she gasped and felt his fingers move harder inside of her, feeling her orgasm take over. "Fuck!" She closed her eyes as she rode out her orgasm, her hips grinding into his face.

Ed smiled and brought her down, licking her clean. He kissed up her body to her lips and bit gently on her bottom lip as he pulled away, resting his forehead on hers. "You're so perfect," he whispered. "Everything about you is perfect."

She smiled, still trying to catch her breath. "You're perfect," she whispered and pulled him in for another kiss. She ran her hands over his chest. "You send my body into overdrive," she smiled and arched her back. "I love everything you do to me."

He smiled and wrapped her in his arms. "Good, because I love doing it to you." He kissed her forehead. "Anything to make you come."

Olivia smiled and kissed him gently. "You know just how to do that," she giggled and intertwined their legs. "You know how to put me in such a state of ecstasy that I can't talk," she kissed him again. "How am I still exhausted? I slept so much on the plane."

Ed kissed her forehead. "So take a nap. We have more than a week here. Let's get your energy up," he whispered. "I'll hold you while you sleep."

She met his eyes before rolling him onto his back, kissing his neck, moving down his body, sitting him up, taking his shirt off, a smile on her face. "Not yet, baby," she whispered and pushed him back down, kissing down his chest, stopping when she got to the waistband of his jeans, unbuttoning them and unzipping them with her teeth, her eyes lifting to meet his. "Not before I get to taste you."

He groaned and felt his jeans and boxers come off. He watched her reach behind her back and unclasp her bra, tossing it to the side, she took his hard cock in her hand and stroked him. "Oh, Liv," he met her eyes and saw her smile.

Olivia got comfortable, licking around his cock, before wrapping her lips around him and taking all of him into her mouth, moaning softly as her lips moved over him, one hand playing with his balls. She looked up at him with her eyes, heading him moan. She let him go and smiled. "Mm, you like that?"

Ed groaned as he watched her hand stroke him, her tongue running over him, before wrapping her lips around him again, never breaking eye contact with him as she sucked the head of his cock. "Jesus!"

She moaned, rubbing her clit, her eyes meeting his again feeling him tighten in her hand. She let him go and bit her bottom lip, looking up at him. "Come for me. Come in my mouth so I can taste you," she whispered, wrapping her lips around him again, flicking her tongue over him.

He groaned, gripping her hair, his hips gently thrusting into her face, he felt her move back slightly. He released in her mouth and he heard her groan, still softly sucking until she was sure she got every last drop of his release. He pulled her up. "Come here."

Olivia grinned and lay on top of him, kissing him passionately, feeling his hands run over her back, moaning softly. She pulled away and smiled. "Better?"

Ed caressed her face, seeing her turn her head and kiss his palm. "You're incredible," he whispered. He kissed her again, rolling them both into their sides. "I am so in love with you, Olivia Margaret Tucker."

She smiled and caressed his face. "I'm pretty wild about you myself," she kissed his chest and cuddled up next to him. "Now, let's nap," she whispered. "Until we wake up wanting more of each other," she kissed him gently.

He kissed her back and ran his hand over her side and then rubbed her back. "I'll be right here when you wake up," he whispered and kissed her forehead.

Olivia smiled and closed her eyes, feeling him rub her back in circles until she fell into a peaceful sleep. Ed wasn't far behind her. They intertwined their legs together and stayed as close as possible. Olivia stirred first, looking up at his face, she smiled, kissing his chest and running her thumb over his hip bone. She saw him stir and she smiled. She kissed his chest again and rolled him into his back. She straddled him and leaned down and kissed him passionately. She felt his hands squeeze her ass and she groaned. "Sleep well?"

Ed smirked, holding her hips as her hips moved against his. "Very well, dreamt about you and I, out in a deserted pasture, no clothes on, rolling in the grass."

She smiled her clit hitting his erection. "Oh, is that what this is?" She continued grinding against him. "We'll have to live that dream out," she whispered and kissed him again. "If it gets you this hard," she sat upright and arched her back, her head falling back, her hair cascading down her back. "Anything that gets you this hard is definitely something I want to do with you," she whispered and took him in her hand, lifting her body up, sinking down onto him and moaning. "Oh, yeah!" She played with her breasts before leaning back, her hands on his thighs, starting to ride him.

He watched her and groaned. "Mm," he rubbed her clit with his thumb. "Ride my cock baby, ride it hard."

Olivia let her mouth fall open as she started to ride him harder and faster, a long moan escaping her lips. "Fuck!" She changed direction of her hips, causing them both to moan. "Oh, Ed, baby," she gasped and massaged her right breast. "Oh, right there. Mm, just like that."

Ed gripped her hips and thrust up into her, her mouth opening in a silent scream. "I'm so close, Liv." She groaned as she pushed herself forward, kissing him passionately. He moved his hand and spanked her, hearing her moan. "Come on Liv."

She felt her nipples brush against his chest, his hands gripping her ass, spanking her occasionally, and his cock inside her, hitting all the right places. Her muscles contracted around him, feeling her orgasm tear through her, moaning loudly. "Ed!" She kissed him and rode out her orgasm, falling onto his chest, letting out a breath. "Oh, my God," she closed her eyes and smiled, her breath coming in pants. "Oh, baby."

He wrapped his arms around her and ran her hands over her back. "You're insatiable," he whispered and kissed her softly. "You're so incredibly perfect," he whispered against her lips.

Olivia smiled and blushed. "I'll never get enough of you," she whispered and kissed him again. "I crave you, Ed Tucker. You make me feel things that I didn't even realize were possible until I met you." She caressed his face. "Physically and emotionally."

Ed rolled them over so he was on top of her, running his hand over her body. "I crave you," He whispered and kissed her neck, hearing her moan. "I crave that sound, I crave the feeling of your orgasm around my cock when it's buried deep inside your pussy, I crave the look in your eyes when you look up at me with your lips wrapped around me. I crave your kiss," he whispered in his ear. "I crave the way your body moves over me as you ride me, the way your body reacts when I suck your clit," he kissed her lips. "I crave it all."

She searched his eyes and smiled. "It's all yours, baby. All for you." She kissed him again, slowly, her tongue sweeping past his lips, pressing her body into his. "I'm all yours," she whispered against his lips.

He ran his hands gently over her skin as they kissed, slowly. Nothing right now was rushed. It was about truly feeling each other. "You're so incredibly sexy," he whispered. He heard her moan as he moved her to lay over her, being sure that he wasn't crushing her. He kissed her neck softly and she closed her eyes. "You're too beautiful for words," he whispered.

Olivia took in every sensation Ed was giving her in this moment, and every last one piqued her arousal. "Ed, baby," she whispered as his lips and hands worked over her body. "Make love to me, Ed. Please."

Ed smiled and looked up at her. "Oh I intend to. But not before I finish truly worshipping your body." He smiled and continued his journey, down one leg and up the other, kissing every inch of skin he could, his hands following with a feather light touch. He reached her breasts he massaged them both, slowly, before taking her nipple into his mouth and slowly sucking on it, seeing her back arch. "Feel all of this," he whispered.

She closed her eyes and let out a breath. She felt him kiss her and she moaned and kissed back, feeling him push inside of her. "Ed!" She whispered and bit his neck. "Oh, God, Ed." She groaned as he made love to her, her eyes opening when she felt his forehead against her own. Their bodies moved in synch, her hands running over his back, scratching his shoulder blades.

Their love making lasted an hour, once they finished they looked into each other's eyes, panting. He kissed her softly. "I love you, baby," he whispered.

Olivia was sated when she looked up at him, her eyes heavy. "I love you, too." She caressed his face. "You're so good, you know that?" She grinned and wrapped her arms around him.

Ed blushed. "It helps to have a partner I can't keep my hands off of. A partner who makes me want to be the best lover I can." He kissed her collarbone, looking up at her. "l never want to leave you unsatisfied."

She smiled. "Never."

He kissed her cheek and rolled off of her. "What's running through your mind?"

Olivia smiled. "How lucky I am to have such an incredible husband," she looked down. "And you know, the more I think about this threesome, the more I like the thought and think it'll be really fucking good."

Ed smiled and bit his lip. "I think so, too." He ran his fingers over her side. "How do you want to do it?"

She smiled. "We need to sit down, all three of us, talk about testing results, talk about the things we all want to do and things we aren't comfortable with. But before we do anything we need Rita to agree. You know her better than I do, think she'd be okay with it?"

He smiled. "One way to find out. We could FaceTime her." He kissed by her ear and then kissed her lips. "If you want."

Olivia smiled. "Hmm," she looked into his eyes. "Let's do it." She watched him grab his phone and sit next to her on the bed, she wrapped the blankets around her chest as she cuddled next to Ed while he called Rita.

Rita answered on the second ring. "Ed? Olivia? What did I do now?"

Ed smiled. "Uh, Nothing. We— we have a proposition for you."

Olivia looked up at Ed then over at Rita. "We're on our honeymoon, and I asked Ed what his fantasies were—"

Rita interrupted Olivia. "Other than you?"

Ed blushed. "Just keep listening, will ya?"

Olivia smiled looking over at Ed. "He has a fantasy of a threesome. A threesome involving you, me, and Ed." She smiled coyly at Ed.

Rita looked between them on her screen. "This is what you talk about on your honeymoon?"

Olivia smirked. "This and Ed's perfect cock and his ability to make me come over and over and over." She looked at Ed and giggled. "Look, Ed does so much for me, I'd be willing to put aside our differences in order to make sure he gets to experience his fantasy."

Rita looked at her. "You're really up for this?"

Olivia kissed his shoulder. "I'd do anything for Ed, Rita. Anything. If that means an adult play date, then I'm more than happy to oblige that."

Rita nodded. "Conditions?"

Olivia smiled. "It's a one night thing, no side relationships or anything. My pussy is the only one his cock penetrates, the only one he comes in. You can suck his cock, stroke it take it in your ass or between your breasts," she looked at Ed. "He's my husband and vaginal sex is reserved for me. That being said, you're free to suck my clit, finger my pussy, or fuck me with any one of my toys in my collection, and I'll reciprocate." She looked at Rita. "And we need to discuss STD panels."

Rita looked at her and nodded. "Doable. I'm due for a panel anyway. Just got out of a relationship a couple months ago. What about you two?"

Olivia smiled. "We'll get panels, too. We'll have plenty of supplies on hand. Condoms, lube, cleaners, the works. Are you allergic to latex?"

Rita shook her head. "Not at all." She leaned in closer. "Where?"

Olivia looked at Ed. "Well, we can have our nanny, or Ed's mom take the kids for the night so we don't have to worry about noise and stay in the apartment, or we can have one of them watch the kids at the apartment and we can go to a hotel. My vote is the apartment."

Rita nodded. "Alright, well, once we have the paperwork giving us the all clear, let's set a date."

Olivia smiled and sat up, the blanket covering her breasts slipped down a little, bringing her breasts into view for Rita, she heard her moan. "Mm, you sound so sexy," Olivia moaned in response.

Rita looked at the couple. "Ed, suck her nipples. I want to watch, get a taste of what I'm in for."

Ed looked at Olivia and saw her nod. He kissed her neck, feeling Olivia take the phone. He kissed down to her chest, leaning in and wrapping his lips around her right nipple, sucking and flicking his tongue over it, his hand reaching over and squeezing her left breast. He heard both Olivia and Rita moan in sync. He looked at both of them. "Shit, that's hot."

Rita, off camera, was rubbing her clit as Ed pleasured Olivia. "Oh God. The two of you together are so fucking sexy."

Olivia was in sensory overload. She felt Ed kiss down her body and lick up her clit. Ed took the phone and she rested on her elbows. "Ah, yeah! Oh, right there," she moaned, hearing Rita's moan only turned her on even more. Her hips started grinding into Ed's face. "Mm, yeah baby, suck that clit. Eat my pussy."

Rita's moans got louder. "Fuck, Olivia. You're so sexy." She leaned back and brought a leg onto her couch as she fingered herself, watching Ed bring Olivia closer and closer to an orgasm. "Make her come, Ed. Make her come so hard."

Ed looked up at Olivia, who was writhing in ecstasy, her hand on the back of his head. Olivia's moans were uncontrollable, which made Ed harder than he already was and in need of a release. He pushed his fingers inside her and fucked her hard with his fingers, still sucking her clit. Within a minute her orgasm was all over his face and the bed, her moans were louder, and Rita was moaning like crazy. "God the two of you are going to kill me."

Olivia caught her breath and flipped them, taking his phone and looking at Rita, watching her fuck herself with her fingers. She smiled. "You want to watch me suck Ed's cock?"

Rita groaned. "Mm, yeah." She watched as Olivia kissed down his body and she showed his erection, her hand stroking it. "Jesus, Ed."

Olivia smirked. "You remember that? What it feels like in your pussy, how you'd wrap your lips around it?" She whined before she gave the phone to Ed so he could hold it on what she was doing. She moved her hair and looked up at him, and the phone, she slowly ran her tongue over the underside of his shaft, stroking him. She wrapped her lips around him and took him completely into her mouth. She smirked when she heard Rita's moan.

Ed groaned. He felt her tongue run along his shaft, and he gripped her hair. "Oh, God, Liv." He gently tugged on her hair, hearing her groan.

Olivia released him and stroked him again. Looking up at the phone. "Rita, where do you want Ed to come?" She smirked, watching the usually put together defense attorney coming undone as she watched the two of them. "Anywhere on my body is fair game."

Rita groaned. "Come into her open mouth."

Ed smiled and they moved so he was standing and Olivia was kneeling, her mouth open as she watched him stroke himself. "Ah, fuck. I'm gonna come Liv."

Olivia closed her eyes, feeling his come mostly land in her mouth, some landing around her lips. She looked up and saw Rita. She closed her mouth and swallowed, licking her lips. "We can share his come when we all play together." She noticed that Rita was slouched down on her couch, spent. "You like that?" She bit her bottom lip.

Rita moved to grab her phone. "That was so fucking sexy." She smiled. "I think we're gonna have fun. Let me know when you get back from the honeymoon and have a chance to get that panel. We'll set something up."

Olivia nodded. "I look forward to it," she blushed. "And uh, that little show stays between the three of us. I trust you'll be discreet." She smiled when Rita nodded and then they hung up. She looked at Ed and she smiled. "That was fucking hot. I know she wasn't here, but hearing her moan—" She took an inhale of breath through her teeth. "It turned me on so much." She ran her hands over his chest.

Ed pulled her into a passionate kiss, holding it for a few moments before breaking it. "The two of you in the same room are going to kill me."

She smirked. "Just wait til we touch each other, all for you." She kissed him gently. "You can fuck me from behind while I suck on her clit," she whispered against his lips. "The possibilities are endless." She kissed him again.

He gripped her ass and looked up at her. "How did I get lucky enough to have a wife who is open to having a threesome?"

Olivia smiled. "Because I know you love me, this is just another way to get you off. It's a one night thing. I'm not worried about Rita trying to steal my man. She already had you, she let you go. You're all mine," she whispered. She kissed him. "And I know that I'm the only woman you love."

Ed kissed her. "Damn straight." He ran his hands over her back. "The last woman I'll ever love."

She smiled and felt his hands caress her body. "Other than our kids, you are the last person I will ever love."

He wrapped her in his arms. "You're absolutely perfect."

Olivia smiled. "I just want to give you everything you want in the world, and after what we just experienced, I think it'll be a lot of fun."

Ed kissed her again. "You're incredible. You know that?" He ran his hands over her back. "Incredible, and beautiful." He ran his hand down her front. "I love the curve of your breast. The curve of your ass."

She let out a soft moan. "The things you do to me." She smiled and looked into his eyes. "Let's get some food and rest up. I _do_ want to explore Ireland while we're here."

 **A/N: Alright a lot of smut. We have at least one more chapter before we get to the threesome, I'm going to attempt to tone down on the smut next chapter to contrast the threesome chapter, which will likely be ALL smut. So. Leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay) and I'll see you next chapter.**


	42. Sacred Land

**I know I just updated this morning, but this was too sweet for me NOT to put up tonight. It's so fluffy it's a damn unicorn guys. Yes there's a pinch of smut, but not nearly as much as last chapter. Enjoy!**

Their days in Ireland passed quickly. Far too quickly. They spent their days walking around and enjoying the beauty and romanticism of the different cities, and their nights tangled up in each other, making love. They were now on their last full day, they took their rental car out to the countryside, a picnic in the back seat, complete with wine, sandwiches and other finger foods. Olivia sat next to Ed and held his hand as he drove out to a deserted meadow, parking the car and they set up their picnic. Olivia sat next to him and kissed his lips, handing him a freshly poured glass of wine. "This is the perfect way to spend our last day."

Ed reciprocated the kiss. "I almost don't want to go back. Just pick up and move here with the kids." He looked out at the meadow before them. "Maybe it's just the fact that we don't have any stress here," he wrapped his free arm around her.

She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. "If it weren't for SVU—" she shook her head. "Maybe when I retire we can get a summer house here. Spend our summers out here. I wouldn't mind it," she looked at him and smiled.

He looked at her. "Yeah?"

Olivia nodded. "Yeah," she leaned in and kissed him slowly, pulling away and downing the rest of her wine. She saw him do the same and she straddled him. "Now, what was that dream of yours, about us rolling around naked in a deserted meadow?" She asked with a smile, feeling his lips on her neck. "Because as I see it, it's pretty deserted out here."

Ed ran his hands over her thighs, under the skirt she wore. "Ah, I understand your outfit a little better now."

She smiled. "Well, there's the convenience, but I also wanted to feel girly one last time before we go back to New York and I have to strap on a badge and a gun again." She looked from his chest to his eyes. "Plus, I know you love this dress."

He smiled and kissed her lips softly. "I love every outfit you put on." He caressed her face, kissing her again. "Should we work up to an appetite?"

Olivia smiled and moved to free his erection from his pants, gasping. "So hard, already." She stroked him and straddled him again, moving her panties to the side, sinking onto him. "Oh!" She kissed him passionately, slowly riding him.

Ed moaned and held her hip, cradling her face as he kissed her back. He broke the kiss and kissed her neck. "My God," he whispered and looked up into her eyes. "Just like that baby. Don't stop."

She moaned and arched her back. "Never," she whispered and cradled his head in her hands, her forehead pressed against his. "Ed," she groaned and felt his hand on her breast. "You feel so good. I'm so close. You're gonna make come, you always do, like no one else."

He groaned, feeling her muscles contract around him. "That's it baby, come for me," he whispered, kissing her neck, as her orgasm took over her body. She kept riding him until she felt his release inside her, which wasn't long after. "Oh, Liv."

Olivia smiled. "Mm," she fell forward, knocking them both over. They giggled. "God, Ed," She caressed his face. "You're amazing." She searched his eyes. "Ed, what am I doing?"

Ed looked at her. "Coming down from an orgasm?" He saw her lip start to tremble. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She looked up at him. "I have everything I want, Ed. Everything. Why am I pushing so hard to keep working in a job that puts me in these dark, dark places, day in and day out?" She looked at him and shook her head. "It hasn't been the same since we had Caroline." She looked at him. "If you asked me right now if I was ready to retire, I'd say yes."

He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her head. "Okay, as thrilled as I would be to get to have you home so I could ravish you all day, don't make any decisions right now. We both don't want to leave, I don't want you making a decision you'll regret."

Olivia nodded. "Before I went on leave with Caroline, the longest I'd been away from the squad was two months after Lewis." She shrugged. "I went from being surrounded by love and happiness for six months, to back in that darkness. I still want to help survivors, I don't—" She rested against him. "I don't know what to do, Ed."

Ed rubbed her back. "Help me get my cock back in my pants and I'll cuddle you and we can just watch the sunset before we head back to the hotel," he whispered.

She smiled and moved off him and helped him get situated. She lay next to him and rested her head on his chest. "Thank you," she whispered and looked up at him, kissing him softly. "I don't mean to panic," she kissed him again and cuddled as close as she could to him. "I've just never felt like this before about SVU. I'm usually the one pushing back and saying I'm okay."

He rubbed her back. "Whatever you decide, Liv. Whenever you decide it," He looked over at her. "I will support you one hundred percent."

Olivia smiled and nodded. "I know," she whispered. She took his hand in hers and laced their fingers together, and they lay there, looking at the sky turn from blue to glorious shades of orange, pink, and purple as the sun sank lower in the sky. She let out a breath, feeling the serenity wash over her. "You know, even if I don't retire right now, even if we don't get a summer home here, we have to come back more regularly. Because this," she couldn't take her eyes off the beautiful sunset. "This is magical."

Ed sat up and held her in front of him, her back to his front. "There's so much magic here, Liv. More than just the beauty of the scenery," he whispered. The sky started to darken and he kissed her neck softly. He noticed the moon was full, and he leaned in and whispered to her ear, as a moon beam bathed them in a gentle glow. "Olivia. Olivia. Olivia."

She closed her eyes and she gasped. She turned and locked eyes on him, swallowing hard. "I love you, Ed." She felt his lips lightly on hers. Suddenly it was like, not just their first kiss, but her first kiss, ever. She pulled away, her eyes searching his, trying to catch her breath.

He smiled and caressed her cheek. "It finally worked."

Olivia furrowed her brow. "What worked?"

Ed smiled and blushed. "When I used to come here as a kid, there was talk about how on a full moon, if you went under the window of the woman you love and whisper her name three times, she'll fall in love with you."

She looked at him and smiled. "I already loved you Ed. I always will. But—" she turned to face him. "That kiss," she looked deep into his eyes. "I felt like it was the first time I'd ever been kissed."

He cradled her face and slowly, gently laid her down on the ground, kissing her, his tongue slipping past her lips. He felt her hands in his hair, her legs wrapped around his waist. He heard her soft moans and his hand caressed her body, pulling her leg tighter around him. They stayed wrapped in each other's arms kissing until the wind started to make her shiver. He broke the kiss and looked into her eyes. "Come on, beautiful. Let's go back to the hotel. We can continue this there, or we can just sleep and get ready to go home and see our babies tomorrow."

Olivia smiled and felt him climb off of her, a chill running down her spine. He helped her up and wrapped his jacket around her shoulders. She smiled and bit her bottom lip. "Thank you," She blushed and looked down at the ground. They picked up the picnic site and packed up the car, driving back to the hotel, Olivia holding his hand tightly.

Once they got back on a main road, Ed stopped at a stop light and leaned over and kissed her. He only broke apart when someone behind them beeped their horn. Olivia giggled and watched, taking in the city as they drove. Once they pulled up to the hotel, they got out and walked inside hand in hand, gently swinging their arms. They walked to their room and smiled. Olivia took his jacket off and handed it back to him. He kissed her softly. "Still chilly?"

She smiled, feeling like a giddy teenager hopelessly in love. "A little," she shrugged. "What did you have in mind?"

He wrapped her in his arms. "How about a hot shower," he whispered. "I'll wash your hair, your body."

Olivia's eyes darkened ever so slightly. "I'd like that." She licked her lips. She wasn't sure if that little ritual he told her about really worked or if the spell she was sure she was under was from the beauty of the space they were in. She followed him into the bathroom and kicked her heels off. "Help me out of my dress?"

Ed untied the halter and unzipped the dress. Watching it fall, revealing her black thong and nothing else. He let his eyes take her in. "Oh, baby," he whispered.

She blushed and unbuttoned his shirt, looking up at him. "All this? This is all for you." She pushed his shirt off, starting to unbuckle his belt, pushing his pants and boxers down, looking over his body, feeling his lips on her neck. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back. "Oh," she let out a breath. "Let's warm things up." She smiled.

He shook his head. "I've never seen a sexier woman in my life. But right now, this instant, is about me washing your hair and body. It's about me taking care of my wife, the woman I love." He turned her around and ran his hands over her body. "But Jesus Christ you look so sexy. It's like you're still bathed in the moonlight."

Olivia smiled. "I better get these panties off and you better get your shoes and socks off so we can get in that steamy shower." She bit her bottom lip, turning around and bending over to take her thong off. She looked up at him and kissed the head of his cock quickly, hearing him groan. She watched him rid himself of his shoes and socks and they stepped into the shower stall. He turned on the water, making it hot, but not so hot that they'd burn themselves. He pressed her back up against the wall and kissed her passionately. She moaned and melted into the kiss. "Ed," she panted.

Ed smirked and held her, moving her under the spray as he kissed her. He moved them back against the wall and took the shampoo, putting some in his hand and started washing her hair, massaging her scalp, hearing her moan. "I love doing this for you, baby."

She smiled and let him move her to rinse her hair, putting conditioner in her hair next, letting it soak in her hair before taking the body wash on his hands, standing behind her, starting by massaging her breasts then running his fingers over her skin, lightly running them between her legs, kneeling down to wash her legs, standing up, rubbing soap over her ass and up her back. "You have me so turned on, Ed."

He smirked and helped rinse her body, taking the shower head to rinse between her legs, hearing her loud moans. "Feel good?" He whispered in her ear. "Let the water bring you to orgasm." He held her up and felt her hips start to move. "Yeah, baby," he whispered and bit her neck. "Come on, Liv. Come for me and scream my name."

Olivia felt her orgasm take over her body, her chest flushed. She screamed as she came hard. "Ed! Oh my God, Ed!" She held onto the wall. "Oh my God." Her hips still moving as her orgasm continued to ravage her body. She gripped his wrist to move the shower head away. She rested her head on the wall. "Jesus—" She panted and turned to face him. "You read me like a book. And it gets me so hot baby."

Ed kissed her, rinsing the conditioner out of her hair. "Watching you come gets me so fucking hard, and hearing you scream for me. Oh, it's enough to make me come."

She smiled and got on her knees, looking up at him. "Want some help, Captain?" She stroked him. "Tell me exactly what you want." She massaged her breast with her free hand. "I love your cock baby. It makes me come so hard. It fits inside me so fucking good. It hits every spot that needs to be hit." She moaned. "Mm, you drive me crazy." She felt his hand in her hair and he moved her closer to his erection. "Don't mind if I do." She grinned and took him in her mouth, sucking his cock, taking all of him into her mouth, her lips right around him. In less than a minute he released in her mouth. She moaned and swallowed everything he gave her.

He pulled her up and pushed her against the wall, they looked in each other's eyes, panting. "The way you do what you do to me."

Olivia looked over his body. "I can't help it," she whispered. "You light a fire in me," she whispered and kissed him softly, feeling the cold water hit her skin. She yelped. "Time to get out!" She looked at him and giggled, turning the water off. They stepped out and wrapped themselves in robes. "Come to bed and hold me while we sleep. Our last night in paradise," she looked into his eyes.

Ed kissed her gently and playfully spanked her. "Come on beautiful." They walked to the bed and crawled in next to each other. He held her tightly and kissed her forehead. "Get some sleep, Liv. We have a long flight in the morning."

She nuzzled into him and smiled. "I'm so in love with you," she whispered. "Thank you for this absolutely amazing honeymoon. I couldn't have asked for a better two weeks, and I would never, ever have wanted this trip with anyone else. And uh, that little ritual, under the full moon? I think it worked. Either you're magic or Ireland is. My heart, Ed, is so full. It's full of love for you. It has been since the first moment you kissed me, but it's never felt like this."

He caressed her face. "Ireland is sacred land, I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't hoping to try that out. It never worked before. But I think, maybe, it only works on your Anam Cara. Your soulmate. And you're mine."

Olivia's smile beamed. "I love you Ed Tucker."

 **A/N: As a witch myself (yes really), you'd think I'd know where to go to look up Celtic magic rituals. Especially since I'm an eclectic witch (I practice a little bit of almost all kinds of magic), but since I'm still a baby witch, and I tend to focus more on astrology, it wasn't as easy. Anywho. That's 42, next chapter we delve into (or start to, it may be a two parter, we'll see) the long awaited threesome. Caltuckson?? Leave a review here or on Twitter (couricshargitay)**


	43. Leather and Lace

**Alright. Threesome time. Pure smut. If that's not your thing, or same sex, sexual relations aren't your thing— maybe skip this chapter.**

Olivia and Ed has been home from their honeymoon for about two weeks now. Olivia spent the first couple days at home, getting her body acclimated to New York time again before she went back to work. In the meantime both Ed and Olivia had gotten STD panels and both came back, obviously, clean. They'd contacted Rita and set up a date, which happened to be that night. Ed's mom had the kids, and they invited Rita over for dinner before they moved things to the bedroom. Olivia was nervous. She wrapped her arms around Ed. "What if I'm not any good?" She looked up at him. "I've never been with a woman, what if I'm just not good?"

Ed kissed her forehead. "Just relax and have fun," he whispered. Olivia had just come out to the kitchen from putting on a tight pair of leather pants, a tank top, and a light pink lingerie set, one she knew Ed loved on her. "It'll be a good time, and I'm going to be right here, okay?"

Olivia nodded. "Okay." She looked up and kissed him, feeling his hands slip under her shirt. "Ah, ah, ah," she smirked. "No sneak peeks." She winked. She ran her hands over his chest, hearing a knock at the door. "That's Rita." She took a deep breath, walking over to the door, her heeled boots clacking on the floor. She looked in the peephole and smiled, opening the door. "Rita." Her voice came out more sultry than she intended. "Please, come in. Can I take your coat?"

Rita stepped in the door, hearing it close behind her and hearing the lock turn, knowing the story with Elliot, she understood the Lieutenant's compulsion to make sure they were locked in. She slipped out of her coat, revealing a black leather dress that fell a couple of inches above her knee. The dress hugged her body perfectly, and showed off her legs. She saw Olivia hang her coat up. "Nice place."

Olivia smiled. "It's perfect." She smiled and led Rita into the kitchen. "I'd introduce you two, but I think you know each other quite well."

Ed blushed. "Rita." He looked her over. "Can I get you a drink?"

Rita smiled. "A glass of red wine?"

Olivia smiled and poured her a glass before pouring herself and Ed one. "To a hell of a night." They clinked glasses and all took a sip. She sidled up next to Ed and looked at Rita. "And you, Counselor, are looking particularly sexy tonight. I like the leather."

Rita looked Olivia over again. "I could say the same to you, Lieutenant." She watched Olivia interact with Ed and a familiar fire started to rise in her stomach. "So, dinner first, then we play?"

Ed smiled. "We figure we could use the energy, but uh, that's up to you ladies."

Olivia smiled. "I wouldn't be opposed to a little warming up before dinner. Some kissing, make this one hard as a rock before we even sit down," she smirked and moved her head towards Ed when she mentioned getting him hard. "Or we can—" she was cut off, Rita moved around Ed and pushed Olivia against the counter their eyes locked, Ed stood next to them, his eyes fixed on them.

Rita caressed Olivia's cheek, running her fingers over the other woman's lips. "I've been wondering what these lips would feel like against mine since we talked on FaceTime."

Olivia kissed her fingers. "You gonna stand there and wonder or are you going to find out for yourself?" Olivia sassed.

Rita smirked. "There's the Lieutenant I know." Rita searched Olivia's eyes once more before she leaned in and kissed her deeply, slowly. She heard Olivia and Ed both let out a moan simultaneously. She felt Olivia's hand on her cheek as the kiss deepened, their tongues meeting. They massaged and circled each other's tongue with their own, occasionally one woman would suck the other woman's tongue, biting each other's lips.

Olivia broke the kiss and smiled. "Shit."

Ed groaned. "The two of you are incredibly sexy and insatiable on your own, but together? It's going to be a long, amazing night."

Rita smiled. "If you can suck a clit anywhere near the way you just kissed me, this is going to be beyond amazing."

Olivia bit her bottom lip. "You'll have to tell me. I've never been with a woman before. Well, nothing more than a drunken college makeout session at a frat party." She ran her hands over Rita's hips. "I hope I'm at least decent."

Ed groaned watching the love of his life and his ex girlfriend flirt, lightly touching each other over their clothes, entertaining themselves by kissing each other. "You two really are the sexiest women in the world."

Rita smirked. "And we're still clothed."

Olivia looked from Rita to Ed and back again. "Someone may need a cock ring tonight. Keep that cock nice and hard for us," she smiled. "Though we may have to put that on soon, they're easier to put on when the penis is semi-hard."

Ed groaned. "Think you can do it in thirty seconds?"

Olivia chuckled. "Okay, that's just not safe. We'll have to bring it down and put it on when we're ready to get down and dirty."

Rita smirked. "You mentioned a toy collection, can I see?"

Olivia looked at Ed. "You've ordered dinner?" She saw him nod. "Then follow us into the bedroom, I'm going to show her my toys and we wouldn't want you to miss any fun." She led Ed and Rita to the master bedroom, set up for a threesome. A couple of flat sheets laying on top of the bed to make for easy clean up. Her toys laying, spread out, on top of it, lube was on the nightstand, along with a spray bottle of toy and body cleaner, and a pack of baby wipes that had also been soaking in rubbing alcohol, condoms, and dental dams. "Everything one could ever think of for a safe, but so fun, threesome." She turned and looked at Rita. "My extensive sex toy collection. Everything from vanilla dildos, vibrators, and ben wa balls, to a strap on and a double headed dildo, I have some nipple clamps in here, and some butt plugs." She smiled and felt Rita behind her, Rita's hands running over her curves.

Ed watched Rita pick up a dildo and held it to Olivia's lips, he watched Olivia wrap her lips around it, and watching her went straight to his cock. He groaned and moved over to them, kissing Olivia, hearing her moan. Olivia broke the kiss, looking into his eyes. "You two already have me so fucking hard."

Olivia smiled and walked him over to sit on the chair in the room, she smiled. "Enjoy the visuals right now," she whispered. "Then come and have fun. I want your wildest fantasies to come true." She bit her bottom lip and turned back to Rita, walking over to her. She pulled her in for a passionate kiss. "Shall we have a little more fun before our diner gets here? Or we can just eat whenever we're hungry."

Rita smirked, playing with the hem of Olivia's tank top. "We can wait on food," she stepped closer to Olivia, putting her hand on the Lieutenant's hips and pulling her closer to her body. "Because I'm hungry alright."

Olivia grinned. "Yeah?" She asked and gripped Rita's ass. "We should get out of these clothes then, shouldn't we? It'll be easier to touch and taste each other without all these layers on."

Rita quickly took Olivia's shirt off over her head, hearing Ed groan at the lingerie Olivia had picked. Rita's fingers ran over her bra, following the curve of her breast. "Your body," she whispered.

Olivia walked her over to the wall. "Turn around and grab the wall. I want you out of this dress." Rita did as instructed and Olivia pulled the zipper down her back, peeling the leather from her body, leaving Rita in a black lace bra and thong, running her hand over Rita's ass she groaned. "Your ass is so fucking perfect," she whispered in her ear. "Are you like me, do you like to be spanked?"

Rita nodded. She felt Olivia's hand come down on her ass and she groaned. "Fuck me." She looked over her shoulder.

Olivia led her to the bed, in front of Ed, and moved the toys out of the way, pushing Rita down. "Ready to find out if I can eat pussy?"

Both Ed and Rita groaned. Olivia pulled Rita's panties down and leaned in and kissed her inner thighs, her fingers running gently through her wet folds, groaning. She pushed her fingers inside of her, curling them towards her, hitting Rita's g-spot. She leaned in and wrapped her lips around Rita's clit, sucking gently, flicking her clit with her tongue as she kept moving her fingers. Rita groaned, holding onto the back of her head. "Oh shit!"

Olivia grinned and looked up at her. "Can you squirt?"

Rita groaned. "I haven't before."

Olivia rubbed her clit. "Can I try to get you to?"

Rita nodded and arched her back. "God, just fuck me, Liv!"

Ed was watching, by this time his jeans were open and he had his cock in his hand. "My God." Ed couldn't keep his eyes off of Olivia as she fucked Rita with her fingers, watching her suck Rita's clit and soothe it with her tongue every now and then. It was only a matter of minutes before Rita was coming, hard, and her release was all over the lower half of Olivia's face, her chest, and her wrist.

Olivia kissed up Rita's body, paying special attention to her breasts. "How was that?"

Rita pulled her in for a kiss. She still couldn't find words. When she pulled away she smiled. "Jesus Christ."

Olivia chuckled. "Mm, good. We got all night."

Rita got her bearings and flipped them, kissing Olivia's neck. "Now, I find out how you taste." She kissed down Olivia's body and pulled her thong off, licking up her slit.

Olivia moaned and arched her back. "Rita," she whined, feeling Rita's tongue push inside her. "Oh, fuck!" She started to massage her breasts, all while Rita brought her closer and closer to orgasm. "Ooh, just like that. I'm so fucking close, don't stop." She arched her back clear off the bed and within moments Olivia orgasmed, her release now covering Rita the way Rita's had covered Olivia.

Rita kissed up her body until she was laying on top of Olivia and kissed her lips passionately, hearing Ed groan, she looked at the panting woman beneath her. "Should we bring Ed over?"

Olivia smiled and they both got up on their knees on the bed, watching Ed stroke his cock. Olivia crooked her finger summoning him. He sprang up and ran over and Olivia positioned him between them, and they both started kissing his neck, running their hands over his chest. "You like watching us fuck?" She stroked him.

Ed groaned. "I'm not going to last much longer, Liv." He whispered and kissed her lips.

Olivia smirked. "So how about we get you off, share your come in our mouths and then Rita and I keep playing so we can get you hard again?" Her hands still moving over his cock.

Ed nodded and Olivia and Rita moved so he was standing and they were in their knees running their tongues over him, kissing every so often. When Ed finally released in Olivia's mouth, she kept his come in her mouth until Rita kissed her, passing it back and forth between them, moaning, massaging the other's breasts. They finally pulled away and smiled back up at Ed, standing up. Rita smiled. "Tell is what you want to see," she said in a low, sultry voice.

Ed kissed her and then Olivia. He caressed Olivia's body. "Fuck her with the strap on," he whispered in Olivia's ear. She groaned, feeling Ed's fingers rub her clit. "You're so fucking wet baby."

Olivia moaned and growing her hips into his hand. "Mm, fuck." She moved his hand and looked into Ed's eyes. "You want to watch me fuck Rita's pussy, you want to watch her come around my big fucking dildo?"

Ed groaned. "Yeah." He watched Olivia move over to Rita, who was rubbing her clit as she watched Ed and Olivia. He saw Olivia suck on Rita's nipple, hearing her moan, moving her to the bed.

Olivia's eyes had darkened to where they were almost black. "On your knees, sexy." She watched Rita get on all fours as she put on the strap on, putting some lube on the head, stroking it. "Mm, you want it hard? You want me to fuck your tight little pussy?"

Rita groaned. "Oh, yeah. Fuck me good. Make me come all over."

Olivia knelt behind her, pushing the strapon into her wet pussy, moving her hips hard against her, hearing her moan, seeing Ed next to her, reaching around Rita, rubbing her clit. Rita's moans turned to screams of ecstasy. "You like that, Counselor. You like being fucked?"

Rita was in overdrive. "Yeah, it feels so fucking good. Don't stop!" Her face buried into the sheet as her moans got louder. "Oh yeah! I'm coming. Oh my God!" She came hard around the strapon, and Olivia brought her down.

Ed kissed Olivia and laid her down, taking the toy off her body and rolling her into her stomach, pulling her hips up. He moved so he could suck her clit. He heard his wife moan and he smirked, looking at Rita. "Help me make her come."

Rita smiled and knelt next to him. "Gladly." She leaned in and spread her ass cheeks, her tongue running from her slit to her asshole. Olivia's moans got louder and lower in pitch. Rita spanked her and watched the brunette Lieutenant start to come undone. "That's it. Come on. Come all over Ed's tongue. Let him taste it." That was it. Olivia came, hard. And once Ed finished, Rita pulled him in for a kiss, needing to taste her.

Olivia moaned and rolled over, watching them. In any other circumstance her jealousy would have taken over, but watching her husband pleasure this woman, who was a former enemy turned intimate partner, she couldn't help but get aroused. "Ed," she whimpered. "I need your cock," she begged.

Ed smirked and moved to enter her when there was a knock on the door, hearing Olivia let out a frustrated groan. "I'll be right back," he kissed her. He looked at Rita as he slipped into boxers. "Keep her company?"

Rita nodded and watched him leave to get their food, she turned to Olivia and leaned down and kissed her passionately. Maneuvering their bodies so their clits could grind together. Rita started moving so their clits rubbed together. "Oh, yeah. Oh my God."

Olivia moaned and arched her back. "Oh, Rita!" She let her head press into the pillow, moving her hips with Rita's. Rita was moving slowly, bringing the pace down. "Oh, yeah," she felt Rita start to suck her nipple and she whimpered. Rita started kissing her again and Olivia gripped her ass. "Oh!" She broke the kiss and looked at the door, seeing Ed stroking himself. She turned her head again and closed her eyes. "Right there Rita. Oh yeah, I'm gonna come!" She gasped as her orgasm took over.

Ed moved over to the bed and Olivia stroked his cock, straining her neck to take him into her mouth. He groaned and looked down at Olivia, stroking her hair, hearing her moan as Rita sucked her nipples. He saw Rita move to Olivia's side, and he felt Olivia release him from her mouth. He moved back to where he had been before the knock on their door, he pulled her down by her hips. He pushed inside of her, hearing her moan. "Oh, you're so fucking wet," he moaned.

Rita watched them and she let out a breath, moving down on the bed to sit next to Olivia's waist, opening Olivia's legs further. She leaned in as Ed fucked her and she ran her tongue over Olivia's clit, hearing her moans turn to screams. "Mm, fuck her pussy," she looked up at Ed, her hazel eyes had darkened. "Pound it with your cock."

Olivia's eyes rolled back into her head as Ed heard Rita's instructions and complied, her mouth hanging open, letting out a strangled moan. "Baby!" She felt her muscles contract around him, her orgasm ripping through her body. She felt his release soon after.

Ed pulled Rita up, gently tugging her hair, kissing her. "Clean her up," he whispered.

Rita happily obliged, getting on her knees in front of Olivia licking up her slit, sucking his release out of her pussy, moaning when she felt Ed behind her, sucking her clit. "Oh, Ed." She groaned.

Olivia was in pure ecstasy. She was laying on her back, writhing beneath Rita. "Ah!" Her head moving side to side, her body full of energy, but her limbs and her back too spent to move any other part of her as Rita orgasmed from Ed's tongue, the two laid next to Olivia, one on either side. Olivia was panting, and she closed her eyes. "Mm."

Ed smirked and kissed her cheek. "You okay there, baby?"

Olivia smiled a sleepy smile. "Mm." She looked up at him, feeling him kiss her. She kissed back, feeling him caress her face, and pull away. Olivia looked over at Rita who kissed her back. She pulled away softly. "You know, I've never done hard drugs… well… voluntarily anyway. But I'm pretty sure this is what being high would feel like." She felt both of them hold her and she closed her eyes. "That was… incredible."

Rita cuddled into Olivia's neck. "Amazing," she whispered. Her fingers running over the other woman's arm.

Ed kissed her cheek. "Better than I ever could have dreamed of." He had his head next to hers on the pillow.

Olivia suddenly burst out into laughter, both Ed and Rita looked at her strangely. "Sorry." She laughed for a few more seconds. "I was just thinking… Ed and I started out hating each other and we wound up being soulmates and Rita, you and I couldn't stand each other and we just had some mind blowing sex." She took one of each of their hands in one of their own. "It's good."

Ed smiled and helped Olivia roll onto her side so he could spoon her. He kissed the back of her head. "Fuck tradition," he whispered.

Rita rolled to face them, averting her eyes. "I, um— I had a really good time tonight," she bit her bottom lip and shrugged. "Kinda wish we could do this again sometime."

Olivia looked back at Ed ad arched her eyebrow and Ed kissed her nose. Olivia turned back and looked at Rita. "Maybe we could," she shrugged. "Not like, a weekly thing, but maybe—" she lifted Rita's chin, and met her eyes. "Maybe we can all get together and have some fun every now and then." She shrugged. "Just when we feel the urge."

Rita looked between the two. "You're both sure about this?"

Olivia smiled. "Ed always gives me mind blowing orgasms, Rita. He's the only one I've been with to make me orgasm every single time." She felt his lips on her neck. "I don't need to have a threesome to orgasm. I don't need to have a threesome to have mind blowing sex. I can have that whenever I want. But—" she trailed off. "I won't lay here and tell you that I didn't enjoy adding you into the mix. As iffy as I was at first, this was the most fun I've ever had with another woman. Hearing you moan turned me on to no end." She smiled. "So, every now and then?"

Rita smiled and nodded. "Can we be friends outside the bedroom, too, then?"

Olivia smiled. "Of course." She felt Ed's lips on the back of her neck.

Ed took Rita's hand. "The two of you, alone, are sexy as hell. The two of you together, I could watch you two all night."

Olivia giggled, then she got an idea, looking at Rita. "Next time we all do this—" She bit her bottom lip. "I have my own fantasy. Guaranteed anonymity, but… making a sex tape that myself and my partner, or partners, could watch back. What do you say?"

Rita smiled. "Guaranteed anonymity? Us three are the only ones who see it?" She saw Olivia nod. "I say count me in."

 **A/N: Okay, I know I said it was going to be a one time thing, but characters have minds of their own. Just because it says they'll have this play date again in the future doesn't mean I'm going to write it out. This doesn't mean Ed and Olivia love each other any less. This doesn't mean a break up. This doesn't mean jealousy. Bear with me okay**


	44. 2 Become 1

**Alright, so a little bit of smut, but a whole lotta fluff. Not where this chapter initially started out as a plot bunny, but I think this is an important chapter.**

The three fell into a post coital sleep, wrapped around each other, their bodies spent. Rita stirred first, around six. She looked at the time and realized she'd have to leave. Their kids would likely be home in a few hours. She gently touched Olivia's face and ran her fingers over Ed's hand, seeing them both stir. "I didn't mean to wake you two. I just— I should go. Your kids are going to be home soon."

Olivia looked at her and held her hand, preventing her from leaving the bed. "His mom has them until dinner," she mumbled sleepily. "We set it up that way on purpose. Go back to sleep," she looked at Rita and smiled, Ed had already nuzzled back into Olivia's neck and fallen back asleep.

Rita looked at her and smiled back. She settled back into the pillows and Olivia and Rita looked eyes, Rita's thumb running over the back of Olivia's had. "I really did have a good time last night."

Olivia smiled. "Me too, Rita." She craned her neck toward the other woman and gave her a quick, soft kiss. She put her head back on her pillow. "Get some more sleep, in a few hours when we all get up we can kiss some more, okay?" She saw Rita nod. Both women fell back into a peaceful, heavy sleep.

The trio slept until ten, and Ed was the first up among them. He looked at the two women in his bed and he smiled. "I'm one lucky son of a bitch." He untangled himself from Olivia and kissed the back of her head. He slowly got up, put on a pair of boxers, and slipped out into the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast.

Olivia was the next one to wake, smelling the coffee brew. Over the course of the last few hours, Rita's body had moved, snuggled up next to Olivia, her head tucked under Olivia's chin, resting on her chest. Olivia smiled and lightly ran her fingers over Rita's arm before rubbing her back. She felt Rita stir and she smiled. "Morning," Olivia whispered.

Rita looked around and smiled. "Morning," she noticed Ed wasn't in the room, and then the smell of coffee and bacon hit her. "He do this a lot?"

Olivia smiled. "Slip out of bed before me to make me coffee and breakfast?" She asked gently. "Every day."

Rita smiled. "Now I almost feel bad that we were nothing more than casual sex."

Olivia looked at her. "Yeah, he told me when we got to Ireland, after I'd had some time to process."

Rita smiled. "He tell you he called your name out during sex?"

Olivia's eyes went wide. "What? Oh, Rita I'm so sorry."

Rita brushed it off. "It's ancient history. Towards the end he actually called out your name. But earlier it was more Oooooooo- God. He'd stop himself from calling out your name, but towards the end it didn't matter. I knew he wanted you Liv. Probably before he did."

Olivia blushed. "I'm sorry for being such a bitch to you before last night."

Rita smiled. "I wasn't much better. Liv, I really do hate representing most of these guys. But everyone's entitled to a defense."

Olivia nodded. "I know," she whispered. "Let's forget about it right now, okay?"

Rita smiled and sat up, looking over at Olivia, who also pushed herself up. "Does he bring you breakfast in bed?"

Olivia smiled. "Sometimes. But we can put something on and go out and tease him." She smirked and they both got up, Olivia putting Ed's button down on, leaving the top few buttons open, before she handed Rita a t-shirt. They both walked out to the kitchen, standing on either side of him. "Mm, morning," Olivia purred.

Ed looked at them. "Good morning, you sexy beautiful women." He saw Rita blush. He lifted Olivia onto the counter, doing the same for Rita, sitting them side by side. "Sleep alright?"

Rita smiled. "Like a rock," she looked over Ed's body.

Olivia smirked. "I haven't slept that well in months," she whispered.

Ed felt Rita's eyes on him and he blushed. "Glad to hear it." He turned the stove off and stood between them, leaning up to kiss his wife, a deep, passionate kiss, finding her tongue with his. He ran his hands over her thighs. He broke the kiss and smiled, moving to kiss Rita the same way. He broke the kiss, leaving Rita breathless, and ran a hand over each woman's side. "Last night was incredible."

Olivia reached out to stroke his cheek. "I just realized, so much of the focus was on me. It was your fantasy," she said gently. "I'm sorry."

Ed smiled. "Baby, it's alright. Seeing Rita make you come, seeing you make her come," he kissed her lips. "So incredibly sexy," he whispered against her lips.

Olivia moaned softly and pulled away, looking over at Rita, kissing her softly, cradling the other woman's face in her hand, pulling away gently. "Is there anything either of you wanted to do last night that we didn't?"

Rita looked between them. "I'd have liked to have fucked you with the strap on." She smiled. "Or use that double headed dildo."

Ed groaned. "The two of you, I swear," he grunted out, plating their breakfast and setting them up on the breakfast nook. "Let's eat."

The three of them ate, and they played a little more, resulting in one final climax, a way to wrap the experience up in a bow. Rita borrowed a pair of Olivia's yoga pants and a pair of flip flops, so she wasn't walking home in her dress. Olivia helped her gather all her things and kissed her gently. "So, we'll set something up when the urge arises?" Rita asked gently.

Olivia smiled and nodded. "Sounds good to me," she felt Ed's arms wrap around her from behind as they saw Rita out, each giving Rita a chaste kiss on the lips before she left. Once the door closed behind her, Olivia made sure it was locked, then turned in Ed's arms. "That was so fucking sexy."

Ed backed her against the door and kissed her passionately. "I am so lucky to have a wife who is open to everything we did last night," he mumbled before kissing her again.

She moaned and kissed him back, her hands running over his chest. "You didn't make either of us feel like the third wheel. Both of us were coming like crazy last night."

He grinned and kissed her neck and her chest. "I loved watching you," he whispered. "Watching you suck her clit and fuck her pussy, that was so fucking sexy." His lips were next to her ear and she moaned.

Olivia took his hands and smiled. "We should take a bath and do some laundry." She walked him into their bathroom, she turned the water on then turned to face him, unbuttoning the shirt she had on, letting it fall to the floor, revealing her naked body.

Ed gripped her hips and kissed her passionately. "I have never seen a more beautiful woman in my entire life," he whispered and pulled her into a hug.

She smiled and looked at the tub, seeing that it was nearly full. She climbed in and sat down, seeing him climb in. She turned off the water and turned on the jets, resting back against him. "We've been fucking a lot lately."

He ran his hands over her thighs. "We always do." He kissed her neck, his touch feather light.

Olivia let out a soft moan. "Not what I mean," she looked back over her shoulder. "I mean usually we trade off. Love making and fucking, and it's generally always heavy on the love making. Since we got home, it's been so focused on fucking."

Ed wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck. "You're right. I'm sorry, Liv."

She let her head fall back to his shoulder. "There's nothing wrong with it, Ed. I just—" She took a deep breath. "Nevermind."

He held her tighter. "Tell me." He whispered, placing soft kisses on her neck.

Olivia closed her eyes, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat. "I just—" She let out a breath and turned in his arms. "When we fuck, I tend to become this hypersexualized version of myself. It makes me feel like I'm in porn." She shrugged slightly. "It's my own issue, and I know this about myself. I know that I adopt those behaviors, and I shouldn't be putting it on you."

Ed caressed her face and kissed her lips softly. "You know that even when we fuck I'm making love to you."

She averted her eyes. "I know that, but Ed, I get into a different mindset, that's why I do things that are probably out of some porn somewhere. It's not that I hate it, I like that side of me that can just be unapologetically sexual and talk dirty and just let my body be for pleasure, both of our pleasure." She felt his hand wipe away the tear that escaped her eye. "When we make love," she whispered. "I don't feel like I have to be in this hypersexualized state, because even though I get just as aroused, we take it slow. It's not a frenzy to see who can come first or harder." She bit her bottom lip. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. "You have nothing to apologize for." He ran his hands over her back. "How about these next few weeks we focus on love making. I don't want you to feel like that hypersexualized version of yourself is all I'm attracted to. Because that couldn't be further from the truth. Right here, no makeup, hair is a little messy, the emotions in your eyes, Liv this version of you is my favorite. I love every single side of you. The woman sitting in front of me right now, the woman you become when I fuck you, the woman you are a mother, as a cop. I love every side of you." He cradled his face.

Olivia held his face in her hands, straddling him. "I love you, Ed," she whispered and leaned in and kissed him passionately, she broke the kiss and rested their foreheads together. "You make me feel—" she shook her head. "I'm at a loss for words. You are the most incredible man I've ever known," she whispered and moaned, feeling his thumbs rub her nipples. "Oh, Ed," she gasped.

Ed leaned in and gently sucked her nipple, his hands on her hips. "I loved everything about last night, but I'd never trade getting to hold you, and kiss you, and make you feel like the only woman in the world."

She moaned and arched her back. "Mm, you do all of that, Ed. And so much more," she whispered. "And I will love you, until the very end. Until my last breath leaves my body, and forever after that."

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her gently, feeling her head on his chest. "This is all I've ever wanted, Liv. Getting to hold you and just tell you how much I love you. Everything else is a bonus."

Olivia smiled, noticing the water had cooled. "Come on, let's put on some warm, comfortable clothes, change the bed sheets, and lay down to take a nap. I want you to hold me." She turned the jets off and pulled the plug to drain the water. She stood up, helping Ed stand up. He climbed out and she accepted his help getting out. He wrapped her in a towel and kissed her lips softly. She moaned softly and broke the kiss. "The only bad thing about last night is that I didn't get to kiss you nearly as much I like to," she whispered.

Ed wrapped a towel around his waist and wrapped her in her arms, walking her backwards into the bedroom, undoing her towel. "Your body is so fucking perfect." He let his hands run over her body.

She moaned and arched her back, taking his hands in hers. "Make love to me, Ed. Bring me to bed, lay me down, and make love to me," she whispered, feeling him walk her back towards toward the bed, picking her up and laying her gently on the bed, kissing over her body. "Oh, baby!"

He took his time building her arousal, he made sure to kiss every inch of her skin, suck her clit and lick up her wet pussy. Olivia's moans were loud and droned on as she enjoyed the pleasure Ed was giving her. Once he was sure she was properly aroused he slowly made his way to her lips. He moved to his elbows, hovering inches over her body. He pushed inside her and and he made love to her. He kissed her as their bodies moved together, her hands scratching at his back.

Olivia broke the kiss and let her head fall back, moaning as their bodies became one again. While sex in general always brought them back to neutral, love making always took it to the next level and connected them at a deeper level, in their own way. Their bodies moved together and Olivia let out a smal, whiney moan. "Ed," she gasped.

Ed groaned and looked into her eyes. "Come on beautiful. Come for me. I want to feel you."

Her moans were breathy as her orgasm took over her body. "Oh, yes, baby. Oh God." She arched her back. She felt Ed's release inside her and her mouth fell open. "Oh, Ed!" She felt his body on top of hers and she let out a moan. "Mm," she kissed him again. "Oh, that was perfect."

He kissed her lips, rolling them onto their sides. "You're perfect," he whispered. "I'm sorry if I made you feel like the only part of you I was attracted to was that overly sexual woman when we fuck."

Olivia caressed his face. "It's not your fault," she whispered. "I've put on that character, God, since I was sixteen. Trying to get out of my house. I realized that men liked it, and I had fun, so I just— kept it up. It wasn't until we let love making fall to the back burner that I realized how exhausting that character can be. How much I love just getting to feel you inside me, how much I miss it when we go a while without it."

Ed kissed her gently. "Liv, it looks exhausting. We've been running marathons in the bedroom. Orgasm after orgasm. And as sexy as it is to make you come until you're just completely spent, that shouldn't be our goal all of the time. Because then we lose the connection."

She curled into him and smiled. "I love you, Ed. More than life itself. Thank you for loving me. All of me. Even the parts that make you crazy."

 **A/N: So, 44 in the books. Olivia gets a tattoo and then deals with— something. You'll have to keep reading to find out. In the meantime, leave a review. Here or on twitter (couricshargitay). See ya soon.**


	45. Just Like a Tattoo

**Okay, much much less smut in this one, and probably the next few chapters. Read on and you'll find out why. Nothing TERRIBLE. No one is going to hate me for it. Enjoy the fluff and twinge of angst.**

Two weeks had passed and Olivia was sitting with Ed in the waiting room of a tattoo shop on Bleeker Street waiting for the artist to finish with her current client. Olivia held Ed's hand and looked at him. "I love you," she whispered.

Ed kissed her neck softly. "I love you, too." He rubbed her back. Over the past two weeks, their sex life had dramatically decreased, and had become essentially non existent. Olivia's sex drive had dwindled, she'd had more headaches and migraines than she had ever had before. Today though, she was feeling better, she didn't have a headache yet and she had a bit more energy.

Olivia's artist walked out and finished up with her last client and then called Olivia back. "I'm just going to set up the machine, then I'll place the stencil and we'll get started. Sound good?"

Olivia smiled. "Yeah. I hope you don't mind that I brought my husband. He's here to hold my hand if I need it." She watched her set up the machine she had Olivia stand and lift her shirt so she could expose her ribs, where she wanted the tattoo. She placed the stencil and had Olivia look in the mirror. "Looks incredible." She turned to Ed. "What do you think?" She admired the text, written in hand lettered calligraphy, very simply '...Until the Very End…'

Ed looked at it. "Perfect. Like you." The artist had Olivia lay on her side facing Ed, and Olivia took his hand. "You're gonna be great."

The artist stepped on the pedal, getting ink on the needle and put some Vaseline on Olivia's skin. "Okay, if you need a break let me know, okay? You ready."

Olivia smiled. "Ready." She heard the buzz of the machine and felt the needle on her skin. She closed her eyes and squeezed Ed's hands harder. She groaned slightly and felt the needle stop.

The artist raised an eyebrow. "You alright?"

Olivia nodded. "I've felt worse," she looked at Ed. "Don't leave," she whispered, realizing that the pain from the tattoo, though completely different, could possibly trigger a flashback. "Um, just so you know, my husband may have you stop, I just— listen to him." She didn't want to have to get into everything. "I want this tattoo. Because of the placement and the fact that there's any pain— I was assaulted years ago, and I've worked through it, but if I dissociate, my husband knows, and he'll stop you so he can bring me back. I don't know that it'll happen, but just so you're prepared."

The artist smiled. "No problem. I get it. I'm going to keep going, okay?"

Olivia let out a breath and nodded. She felt the needle on her skin again and she gripped Ed's hand. She kept breathing and closed her eyes. After about a half an hour, when Olivia's eyes opened again, Ed noticed the look in her eyes.

"Hey, give her a minute," the machine stopped and the artist backed away and Ed moved closer and caressed her cheek. "Liv, baby. Talk to me." He kissed her forehead. "Talk to me, beautiful."

Olivia gasped and looked at Ed, then took in her surroundings. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry, I—" Ed cut her off with his lips.

The artist smiled at her. "You okay? You want some water?" Olivia nodded and she helped her sit up. "Okay, I'll get you some water, we're almost done, okay. Just some touch ups. We're talking ten minutes left, tops. Let me go get you a water bottle."

Olivia looked at Ed and took a deep breath. "I was hoping this wouldn't happen," she whispered, her lip trembling. "No, no I'm not going to cry now." She looked up at the ceiling and blinked away her tears. "Almost done."

Ed kissed her knuckles. "You're doing so well, baby."

Olivia smiled and kissed him gently, pulling away with a smile, seeing the artist come back in, accepting the water bottle and taking a few sips. "Alright, let's do this." She laid back down in the position she'd been in since the artist started. The artist picked up the machine again and finished her tattoo in about ten minutes.

The artist cleaned up her skin and looked at her. "Take a peek before I wrap you up."

Olivia got up and looked in the mirror. "Oh, it's beautiful!" She gasped and couldn't take her eyes off of it. "Thank you so much." She moved back over to the table, sitting so the artist could wrap the new tattoo with cling wrap and tape.

The artist smiled. "Leave that on for anywhere from one to three hours, then you're going to take it off and rinse it with warm water and some mild, unscented soap, and put some aquaphor or plain unscented lotion over it. Just a light layer, enough to keep it flexible and moisturized as it heals, don't submerge it in water, and no direct sunlight until it heals."

Olivia pulled her shirt down and walked out to the lobby with her, paying for the tattoo and leaving with Ed. They walked outside and she moved off to the side, breathing deeply, seeing Ed rush to her side. "I'm okay," she said gently. She took his hand in hers. "Let's go home, I'm a little tired."

Ed kissed her temple. "Okay," they hailed a cab and went back to the apartment. They got home and Olivia took off her shoes and her bra. "Liv?"

She turned to look at him, smiled. "What's up, baby?"

He let out a breath. "Have you thought about talking to a doctor about your headaches and fatigue? Your decreased sex drive?"

Olivia took a deep breath and she kept walking towards the bedroom. "I'm fine," she said and opened her dresser drawer, pulling out a pair of sleep shorts and changing into them. "Besides, I thought you weren't here for the sex."

Ed followed her. "Liv, that's not what I meant." He sat on the bed. "I don't care that we haven't had sex in a week and a half, that's not what this is about. I'm concerned about your health."

She walked over to him and sat next to him. "I'm fine, Ed. What do I have to do to show you? You want a blowjob? You want marathon sex all night long? Or should we call Rita over?" Anger was evident in her voice and her features.

He looked at her. "What is going on with you, Olivia? You're angry, you're not sleeping at night, you're anxious, you're getting headaches all the time, and your libido's decreased. Something is going on, Liv. I don't know what it is, but this isn't you. This isn't the woman I married."

Olivia bit her bottom lip and shook her head. "I'm fine," she crawled over to her side of the bed and put her head down, closing her eyes, her back facing Ed, silent tears running down her face, silent sobs.

Ed cuddled up next to her and wrapped her in his arms. "Then why are you crying?" He whispered.

She rolled over in his arms and cried into his chest. "I don't know what's wrong with me," she cried into his chest and felt his hands rub her back.

He kissed her forehead. "Please call a doctor. Please. For me, for our kids." He saw her eyes lift to meet his. "I can't lose you."

Olivia nodded. "I'm sorry I lashed out. I don't know what's going on, and it scares me."

Ed kissed her forehead. "I know, baby. I know." He rubbed her back. "How about we set an alarm to take the wrap off and try to nap until then? Maybe that'll help."

She smiled and looked up at him. "I'm sorry we haven't had sex in so long. I just… no matter what I do to try and get turned on, nothing works."

He lifted her chin and kissed her softly. "I don't care about the sex, Liv. I never have, you know that. As long as I can still kiss you, that's all I need."

Olivia smiled and set her alarm and then wrapped herself around him, closing her eyes. She fell into a fitful sleep and groaned when her alarm went off. She turned it off and went to the bathroom and removed the cling wrap, taking out unscented white lotion and washed her hands, gently splashing warm water on the tattoo, gently washing it with unscented, antibacterial soap, rinsing it and patting it dry, letting it air dry the rest of the way before applying the lotion. She walked back to bed and laid down. "I feel terrible," she groaned. "I'm tired, I'm cranky, I can't settle down enough to sleep, I'm getting a headache," she whispered and pulled the blankets around her, feeling Ed's arms around her. "But being in your arms helps a little."

Ed kissed her forehead. "Close your eyes. I'll take care of the kids when they get home, you need your sleep."

She looked up at him. "You know, two weeks ago, we'd be making love right now," she whispered. "You have no idea how badly I wish my body would cooperate so we could make love again. So I could feel you, Ed." She leaned in and kissed him softly, slowly. She gripped his shirt, pulling him closer, wanting so badly to feel him inside her, but her body just wouldn't cooperate. It was frustrating her, she'd never had this happen before, and while the fact that she wasn't wet could be helped with lube, not being able to get aroused meant painful sex, and it was unbearable. She moaned, feeling Ed's tongue in her mouth, wrapping her leg around him, feeling him hard against her clit, though both had pants on.

He pulled away. "We should—"

Olivia rested her finger over his lips. "Don't say it," she whispered. "Roll onto your back."

Ed did as she said and looked at her. "Liv, I can—"

She kissed down his chest, looking up at him. "I know, I know you can take care of it, Ed. But so can I. Not how I want to, I wish you could be inside me, but I can get you off with my mouth. Please. Let me feel sexy, because not having sex, not being able to, I feel just so, unattractive and unprovoking," she worked on pulling his pants and boxers down. "Please, Ed. Let me feel sexy."

He looked at her and caressed her face. "Anything you want baby."

Olivia smiled and stroked his hard cock, it was throbbing and she groaned. "I'm so lucky that even with nearly two weeks of nothing, you still get so hard for me." She tied her hair back in a ponytail and leaned in, lightly teasing him with her tongue and her lips. She heard him groan and she smiled. "Is that good?" She asked before sensually wrapping her lips around him, making love to him with her mouth. She groaned and looked up at him, feeling his hand in her hair gently tugging.

Ed closed his eyes as he moaned. "Ah, shit. Oh fuck, Liv." He opened his eyes again watching her stroke him.

She smirked. "I have an idea. Not the real thing, but—" she reached in her drawer and pulled out her fleshlight and some lube. She added somento the fake hand held pussy and the slipped it over his cock, stroking him with it, moving up his body, kissing him as she fucked him with the toy.

He groaned louder and kissed her back, reaching a hand around her to spank her ass. He broke the kiss and let out a breath. "Oh, God." He pulled her closer, gently gripping her hair, he looked into her eyes. "Oh, that feels good, Liv. Oh yeah, just like that."

Olivia smiled and kissed his neck. "You like that? Hmm? You like fucking my fake pussy?"

Ed groaned and kissed her again, his tongue meeting hers, his hand resting over hers, pulling the toy off him, he broke the kiss. "Let me come in your mouth. I'm so close."

She smiled and moved back to her original position, taking him in her mouth, moving her lips over him, tasting his release. She moaned and swallowed everything he gave her. She kissed up his body to his lips. "You're so fucking hot when you moan baby."

He captured her lips again, both letting out a moan. "That was good."

Olivia shrugged. "Not the real thing, but a very convincing imitation," she chuckled and kissed him again. "I hope it at least felt alright."

Ed rubbed her back. "I prefer your pussy, attached to your body, not a silicone sleeve wrapped in hard plastic with some lube on it." He maneuvered them so they were half sitting up. "Because at the end of the day, your pussy feels so much better, it sounds better, and I can feel every muscle contract when you come around me."

She smiled. "Soon. I hope," she kissed him gently. "Until then," she handed him the toy. "Go to town," she curled up next to him.

He kissed her forehead. "Anything I can do for you?"

Olivia let out a sardonic laugh. "Bring back my sex drive." She turned to look at him and sighed. "No, I'm okay."

Ed tilted her chin. "I know you are, Liv." He searched her eyes. "I just wish I could help you orgasm."

She smiled and kissed his cheek. "Me too," she said gently. "I miss it. Not just orgasming, but you making me orgasm." She touched his chest. "You always, always, give me the best orgasms," she whispered. "I wish lube were enough to fix whatever's going on."

He rubbed her back. "We'll figure it out. Together. I promise."

Olivia smiled and picked up her phone. "I'm gonna call the doctor. I'm tired of living like this." Olivia called her gynecologist and explained her symptoms to the receptionist, who told her she could come in tomorrow morning. "Perfect." She hung up and looked at Ed. "Tomorrow. Hopefully, sooner rather than later, we'll be back to fucking and love making like two horny rabbits." She giggled and kissed him gently.

Ed rolled her onto her back, kissing her slowly, feeling her hands on his hips, pulling them down to hers. He broke the kiss. "Liv, I—"

She kissed him again. "Shh," she whispered and held his hips to hers, her legs wrapping around his waist. "I need to be close to you," she whispered. She was beyond frustrated with her body, that no matter what she did, she couldn't get aroused enough to where sex wouldn't hurt, and all she wanted was Ed, buried deep inside her, making her come over and over and over again.

He groaned and kept kissing her. He understood her frustration, not being able to connect with her physically was something that damn near killed him. He wasn't here for the sex, it was always a plus, but to go from having an extremely active sex life to where they were now was frustrating. His hips rocked into hers, out of habit and he heard her whimper. "Baby, I'm sorry."

Olivia held him steady. "It's okay. I'm okay, just, don't stop kissing me." She felt him kiss her neck and she moaned and arched her back. This was as intimate as they'd been in over a week and her body was starting to react. "Oh, Ed!" She cried and moaned.

Ed looked into her eyes. "Tell me, baby. Tell me what you want. Anything."

She panted beneath him. "I really need an orgasm," she whined. "Can we try?"

He kissed her lips. "You tell me if it hurts, deal?"

Olivia nodded. She grabbed the lube from her drawer and took her shorts and panties off. She put some lube on her fingers, running it over her clit and her pussy and she put some on his cock, stroking it gently. "Gentle," she whispered, feeling him slowly pushing into her, feeling a twinge of pain, stilling him. "Hold on," she felt her muscles relax. "Slow," she whispered, kissing him softly.

Ed slowly moved inside of her, being extra careful not to hurt her. "This good?"

She moaned loudly and felt him push further inside her. "Fuck" She stilled him again. "Damn it," she whispered and fell back against the pillow frustrated, tears forming in her eyes. "I need an orgasm," she cried and averted her eyes.

He gently pulled out of her and thought for a moment. "I don't know why we didn't think of this before." He kissed down her body. He softly teased her clit, sucking on it gently, his tongue running up and down the length of her slit.

Olivia gasped. "Mm," she ran her fingers through his cropped hair. "So good baby. Yeah, just like that." She let her head fall back. It wasn't long before her orgasm took over. "Oh, yeah!" She arched her back and let out a scream as he brought her down, her chest heaving as she panted. "Oh, Ed," she pulled him up and kissed him. "Thank you," she whispered. "Oh, thank you." She held his face in her hands and closed her eyes, feeling his forehead against hers.

Ed kissed her and rolled them both on her side, spooning her. "Feel better," he asked in a whisper.

She smiled and held his arm around her. "Mm, so fucking good, baby," she looked back and kissed him slowly. "I just wish I would have been able to come around your cock. It's my favorite way to come." She giggled and rolled over in his arms. "I'm so tired now," she whispered.

He kissed her gently. "Sleep. I'll hold you until the kids get home."

Olivia smiled. "You're a good man, Ed Tucker," she kissed him softly. "A good man, a good husband, and the only man I've ever loved like this, so completely. I know I can tell you anything, anything, and you'd still love me. I've never had that before."

Ed kissed her again and stroked her hair. "And you're going to have that, and me, for as long as I am on this mortal sphere."

She cuddled up close to him and closed her eyes. "Thank you for coming with me for my tattoo, and for pulling me back to reality."

He kissed her. "It looks incredibly sexy, Liv," he whispered in her ear. "You did so well getting that tattoo. Ribs are supposed to be one of the most painful places to get a tattoo."

Olivia shrugged. "When you're burned with cigarettes, keys, wire hangers, pistol whipped, have your wrist broken—" she shook her head. "A tattoo on your ribs is like being tickled." She looked at Ed. "Sorry," she took his hand in hers, closing her eyes, falling asleep and moving closer to Ed.

Ed kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back in soothing circles. "I'm right here," he whispered. "I'm right here." He held her close as she slept, knowing that his mom had a key, he wrapped them in blankets and drifted off to sleep.

She was the first to wake up and she looked up at Ed, still sleeping. He looked so peaceful. She slowly untangled their bodies, slipping into her shorts and heading to the bathroom, washing her hands and putting a little bit more of the lotion on her tattoo, taking a dose of excedrin, walking out to the kitchen to get herself a bottle of water, taking the medicine. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she jumped, turning around to see Ed. "Baby," she panted.

He wrapped her in his arms. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "You okay? I opened my eyes and you weren't in my arms."

Olivia smiled. "Had to put more lotion on my tattoo. I felt a headache coming on so I decided to take some excedrin to help get rid of it before it gets too bad."

Ed kissed her softly. "Feeling any better than before?"

Though it was small, she smiled. "Sleeping for a couple of hours helped. So did the orgasm." She bit her bottom lip. "But I still feel… off." She shrugged. "I don't feel like myself. Usually I would look at you in your T-shirt and boxers and want to do things that would make you scream, have you do things to me to make me scream. But, I'm… I know you look sexy, but the drive isn't there, and I hate it."

He kissed her temple. "Any thoughts running through your head about what it could be?"

Olivia looked at him. "My first thought, sitting and looking, is perimenopause. My periods are irregular, my breasts are tender, headaches, low sex drive." She shrugged. "My other option, without googling my symptoms, just off the top of my head is cancer."

Ed wrapped her in his arms. "I don't know that it's cancer. And perimenopause and menopause are things we can work with to get you feeling better." He kissed her neck.

She looked back at him. "But that means I'm getting older." She had tears in her eyes.

He ran his hands over her hips. "So am I, Liv. We all are."

Olivia turned in his arms. "Promise me you'll still find me sexy?"

Ed grinned. "You never have to worry about that. I will always, always find you sexy."

 **A/N: So, there you have it. Olivia officially has a tattoo and is dealing with the beginnings of menopause. Woo! Anyway, leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay). See you soon!**


	46. Ch-ch-changes

**So, I'm back. To the guest reviewer who commented on Olivia's tattoo; yes. I gave Olivia a tattoo. I'm moderately tattooed myself, and I'd say since I started wanting tattoos, I would imagine Olivia with tattoos, but I grew up around tattooed people, mainly women. And I think that because this one is so special between her and Ed, that it would be one she'd get. You're allowed to disagree, just my take on a character choice. Anyway, here's 46.**

Olivia sat on the exam table in a medical gown, opened towards the front. Ed sat in the chair next to the table and she took his hand. "I just want her to tell me how I can start feeling like myself again."

Ed kissed her knuckles. "She'll know what to do, baby," he whispered. "I just want you to feel better so you don't feel so miserable."

She squeezed his hand. "I know," she whispered. She saw the doctor come in and she let out a breath.

"Olivia," Dr. Cooper was slightly confused but cheerful. "Everything going alright? You're a few months early for your annual."

Olivia looked up at the doctor. "I've been having some trouble. My period's gotten pretty irregular, my breasts are tender, I'm getting migraines, I'm not sleeping, I'm irritable, my sex drive is essentially non-existent, even with lube sex is painful. It all started about a week and a half ago. My husband is rather well endowed and the past week and a half he hasn't been able to fully penetrate me, it hurts too much, which means I need him to stop. Last night he gave me my first orgasm in nearly two weeks with his mouth. Everything else hurts. I just want to make love to my husband again."

Dr. Cooper nodded. "Most of that sounds like it could be perimenopause. The pain during sex is what has me concerned. Most women experience vaginal dryness, which if not addressed can cause pain, but if you're using lube and it's still hurting during deep penetration we could be looking at cervicitis from BV." She stood in front of her patient. "I'll do some blood work to check your hormone levels before I prescribe any estrogen or progestin, to make sure I'm not giving you more than you need, and I'll do a pelvic to check your cervix and do a swab to confirm that it's BV, okay? It may hurt a little."

Olivia nodded. "Okay," she looked at Ed, who was blushing. She caressed his face and kissed him softly. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "Can we get the pelvic out of the way first, so I can maybe put my clothes back on?"

Dr. Cooper smiles. "Lay back." She put on gloves and sat on the stool, rolling closer as Olivia laid back, her feet up in the stirrups. Dr. Cooper took the metal speculum and warmed it up a little bit, adding a little bit of lubricating jelly. "Okay, like I said, this is probably going to hurt. I'll be quick okay?"

Olivia nodded. She felt the metal instrument push into her, her face contorting in pain, groaning. She gripped Ed's hand tighter, feeling his lips on her forehead. She felt a swab push against her cervix and she let out a cry, but as soon as she'd started she finished. "You're done?"

Dr. Cooper looked up at her. "Almost. This part is going to be a bit more painful, I just need to see if anything else is inflamed. You're going to feel my fingers inside you and I'm going to press on your lower abdomen. You ready?"

Olivia gripped Ed's hand and nodded. "Okay," she felt the doctor's fingers inside her, pressing on her abdomen she bit back tears. "Ow!" Once the doctor finished she closed her eyes, feeling tears run her face. She laid on her back and wiped her eyes. "Sorry," she whispered, looking over at Ed, feeling him wipe her tears away.

Dr. Cooper smiled at the couple. "You get dressed and I'm going to go check this out," she walked out of the room and Olivia put her panties and bra back on, followed by a pair of yoga pants and her t-shirt, sitting next to Ed, taking his hand. "I'm sorry I embarrassed you."

Ed turned her face and kissed her lips softly. "I'm just not used to women that haven't seen me naked getting told I'm well endowed." He held her tightly and kissed her temple.

She looked at him and smiled coyly. "They say the doctor needs to know the truth, so that's exactly what I told her," she ran her hand over his thigh seductively. "I can't wait to get out of here so I can get you off," she whispered in his ear.

He groaned. "You're so bad," he whispered. "So, so sexy, but so, so bad."

Olivia grinned and kissed him. "What are you gonna do about it?" She winked.

Dr. Cooper come back in. "Okay, so my suspicions were right. Cervicitis from Bacterial Vaginosis. It's an overgrowth of bad bacteria. I know you two are married but have you tried anything new sex wise?"

Now it was Olivia's turn to blush. "We had a very, very, very involved threesome. We were all tested for everything before we even started."

Dr. Cooper nodded. "Okay, so, it's possible the lube that was used affected the balance of the bacteria or even your pH. Was this other person a woman?" She saw them both nod. "We don't know why, but women who have female sexual partners are at a higher risk of BV."

Olivia nodded. "So, we can't do another one with this woman?"

Dr. Cooper smiled. "I didn't say that, just, evaluate everything that was used. Toys, lube, and next time, use protection. A dental dam is your best friend."

Olivia smiled. "We had some out, we just got in the heat of the moment and forgot."

Dr. Cooper smiled and got together a blood draw kit. "Next time, make sure you remember, you'll avoid this pain. Timing is just terrible." She moved over. "Alright, I need a couple of vials of blood, I'll write you a prescription for an antibiotic, and then you can go on your way. Once I get your hormone levels back, I'll get you a prescription for hormones, and we'll see how you do. In the meantime, there's some over the counter menopause relief medications you can take, under twenty bucks, and hopefully, it'll give you some relief until we can get the levels back and figure out what exactly you'll need to feel like Olivia again."

Olivia nodded, feeling Dr. Cooper take blood from her arm and she put a bandaid over it. The doctor wrote her a prescription, and she smiled. "Thank you for your help, Dr. Cooper."

Dr. Cooper nodded. "Of course. I'll be in touch about your levels, try to relax, take the antibiotic, get some sleep."

Olivia nodded and took Ed's hand and walked out with him, stopping at the pharmacy to get the antibiotic filled and pick up the over the counter menopause relief, then walked back to their apartment hand in hand. Olivia took her first dose of the medicine and then met Ed in the bedroom, seeing him naked on the bed, stroking himself. She licked her lips and climbed on the bed, moving his hand and wrapping her lips around him, taking him fully into her mouth. She heard him moan and she smiled, stroking him. "You're so hard," her voice was soft.

Ed groaned and looked at her. "You're so sexy, Liv." He felt her take him back into her mouth, down her throat. "Oh, yeah baby. Suck my cock."

She let him go and stroked him. "Mm, you like that?" She gently sucked the head of his cock as she stroked him, her tongue flicking over him. She let him go again. "You gonna come for me?"

He was panting. "I'm so close," he groaned. He watched her take her top off and move back, kissing the head of his cock, taking it fully into her mouth again, playing with his balls, pressing her thumb on his perineum. "Oh, fuck!" He hissed and felt his release shoot into her mouth.

Olivia swallowed every drop, kissing back up to his lips. "So good," she whispered, feeling hand hand on her ass. "Mm." She kissed him slowly. "Sometimes it's good to be bad," she whispered and kissed his neck.

Ed groaned. "Oh, you drive me crazy."

She curled up next to him. "Well, I may not be able to do everything I want, I love the fact that I can make you come with my hands, my mouth," her voice was soft. "But I can't wait to feel you inside me again," she whispered and gasped, feeling him spank her. "Now who's being bad?"

Just knowing that sex was in the near future made her perk up a bit, and she was happy to dirty talk. And he loved it. "I love when you talk dirty to me."

Olivia smirked. "Yeah? You like it when I tell you how much I love your cock, how amazing it feels in my pussy?" She heard him groan. "Mm, I love it. I can't wait to feel you inside me again," she whispered in his ear. "I love getting to make love to you," she smiled. "I love tasting you. I love everything about being intimate with you. I only hope I make you feel as amazing as you make me feel."

Ed pulled her on top of him, running his hands over her body. "You always make me feel incredible," he whispered, bringing her face down towards his, staring deep into her eyes. "Never ever doubt that."

She kissed him softly. Cradling his face in her hands. "I'm so in love with you, Ed Tucker," she whispered. "It will never cease to amaze me that even when I'm unloveable, you love me so deeply—"

He put a finger to her lips. "You're never unlovable." He held her tightly and kissed her temple. "Nothing about you is unlovable."

Olivia nuzzled into him and smiled. "I feel so safe in your arms." She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Ed rubbed her back and wrapped blankets around them. He too fell asleep, after he set an alarm. He whispered to her just before his eyes closed. "I love you, my beautiful wife."

She was the first to wake up, noticing she was still on top of Ed. She smiled and kissed his chest, getting up slowly and going into the bathroom, adding some more lotion on her tattoo. She slipped back into her shirt and took a dose of the menopause relief medicine she'd picked up, walking back into the bedroom with a bottle of water, noticing they still had a couple of hours before Noah got home. Caroline had the baby because of Olivia's doctor's appointment, and she was glad to have the apartment to themselves for the time being. Even if they weren't having sex, it was nice just to have time together. She slipped back into bed and wrapped her leg around him.

He stirred slightly and stroked her arm. "You okay?" He asked gently.

Olivia looked at him. "Go back to sleep," she whispered, kissing him softly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

Ed lifted her chin. "Everything alright?"

She smiled. "Right now? Everything is perfect," she whispered. "Because I'm wrapped in your arms, everything is perfect."

He kissed her again. "Good," he whispered, caressing her face.

Olivia smiled. "I love spending time with you, even just laying here talking."

Ed smiled. "What's on your mind?" He rubbed her back.

She took a deep breath. "My own mortality. That I'm getting older and that some day I'm going to die. That I may never see our kids graduate college, or get married. That I may never have grandkids." She took a deep breath. "That if I hadn't been so stubborn for so long, we may have been able to have all those things. We could have had more time together."

He held her tighter. "All of those fears— Liv we're both going to die some day. We may not get to see any of those things from our kids. And maybe we'd have gotten together then, but Liv, I was an asshole. It wasn't just on you. All we can do to is make the most of every moment. Live each day like it's our last. But, honey, late forties, almost fifty, isn't old. You could live another forty, Hell, even fifty years and see our children go to college and have babies and get married."

Olivia nodded, feeling a tear run down her cheek. "Is it gonna be enough, Ed?"

Ed lifted her head and wiped her eyes. "Is what going to be enough?"

She looked into his eyes. "The time we have left. Is it going to be enough with each other? With the kids? Is it going to be enough to make a difference to humanity?"

He kissed her softly. "Olivia, you've made more of a difference to humanity than most people could ever hope. As for our kids, we have to do the best we can, to instill the values we want them to have. When it comes to me? Liv, every second I'm with you is more than I could have ever asked for. It'll be enough."

Olivia rested her head on his chest. "I don't want to leave a legacy that doesn't matter."

Ed kissed her forehead. "No matter what legacy you leave, it'll matter. You make a difference in people's lives. You've made a tremendous difference in mine."

She smiled and kissed him gently. "Come on, let's get up and move around. I think staying in bed all day could be contributing to my mood. I don't even care what we do."

He smiled and stood up, putting on his boxers, a pair of sweats, and a T-shirt. Taking her hand and leading her out to the main living space. "Dance with me?"

Olivia smiled and looked at him. "Always."

Ed walked over and turned on Can't Help Falling in Love by Elvis and took her in his arms, his hand pressing against her low back, his lips next to her ear, softly singing along to the music. "Wise men say, only fools rush in. But I can't help falling in love with you. Shall I stay, would it be a sin, if I can't help falling in love with you?"

She smiled and leaned in, kissing him slowly as they swayed to the music. Once the song came to an end she pulled away and smiled. "I thought you said you couldn't sing," she whispered.

He blushed. "I can't."

Olivia looked into his eyes. "Bullshit. That was the best rendition of that song I've ever heard. Better than Elvis." She smiled and kissed him again. "You can serenade me any time you want."

Ed kissed her forehead. "I'll keep that in mind," they swayed as more songs played. He spun her around and dipped her, kissing her as he did. He heard her moan, holding her tightly as he stood her upright, breaking the kiss. "If I had my way, I'd do nothing all day but dance with you and kiss you, and nothing all night but make love to you."

She bit her bottom lip. "That sounds amazing," she ran her hands over his chest. "I wish we could make love even once right now." She shrugged. "It excites me to know it's on the horizon, but it makes it that much harder."

He spun her around again. "Well, when we can, I'm going to give you a mind blowing orgasm," he whispered.

Olivia chuckled. "You always do." She kissed him again, hearing a key in the door, followed by it being opened she pulled away and smiled at him, turning and seeing Noah running towards her. She got down on one knee and hugged him. "Oh, sweet boy." She kissed his temple. "I'm sorry I haven't felt very good the past few days," she held him close. "I've missed you."

Noah hugged her back. "I missed you too. I didn't want to bother you when you weren't feeling well."

She pulled back and looked at him. "Oh, sweet boy, I don't care how sick I am. You're never a bother." She hugged him again.

The little boy smiled. "Do you feel better?"

Olivia nodded. "I do. There's a few things I'm going to be dealing with for a little bit, but it's just because I'm getting older. I'm okay. I just went to the doctor today to check and make sure."

Noah took off his bag and pulled out a handmade card and handed it to her. "I made this for you in art class today."

She took it. "Oh, sweetheart, I love it. Thank you." She hugged him again. "How about we get a snack and talk about your day? Sound good?" She saw him nod. "Let's go." She thanked Lucy for picking Noah up and then walked over to the couch with him then walked over to her husband in the kitchen, her smile beaming.

He took notice and wrapped his arms around her. "I love seeing that smile on your face."

Olivia blushed. "Thank you," she whispered. She kissed him gently. "Come sit with us," she grabbed some things out of the fridge to make a snack. "Please?"

Ed kissed her temple. "You never have to ask."

She brought the tray of snacks into the living room, Ed following behind her. They sat on the couch and cuddled up with Noah. "So, tell Daddy and I about your day! I know you made me a beautiful card in art class, what else did you learn about?"

Noah started talking about how they learned about dinosaurs and early humans in science. "But Jimmy told the teacher she was wrong about how humans came to be on the planet."

Olivia took a deep breath. "Sweet boy, do you know what Jimmy meant?" She saw Noah shake his head. "Well, as you get older you're going to learn about this thing called the Big Bang, where two little atoms, what everything is made up of, collided together and created the universe, and about how life evolved, or changed, from single cell organisms to what is in the world now. That's how science explains it. Religion believes something different. Religion says that God created the Earth and everything in it." She looked at him. "Does that make sense?"

Noah nodded. "It does, but who's right? Is the teacher right? Or is Jimmy right?"

Olivia smiled. "I think that Jimmy thinks he's right. I also know that science has proven the theory of evolution and the Big Bang. Some people just don't believe in science."

Ed massaged her shoulder and leaned over Noah to kiss her temple. "We have so many cool things because of science, Bud. Our TVs, our cell phones, lights, medicine; all that and so much more comes from science."

Olivia smiled. "But at the same time, Jimmy and his mom, as long as they aren't hurting anyone, are entitled to their beliefs. The issue only comes when those beliefs start to hurt people."

Noah nodded. "Okay," the little boy hugged Olivia and then Ed. "I have to do my math homework."

Olivia kissed his temple. "How about Daddy and I start dinner, and if you need help you let us know?"

Noah thought about this for a moment. "Okay!"

Olivia got up and walked into the kitchen with Ed. "So, what are we going to make for dinner?" She asked, running her hands over his chest.

Ed wrapped her in his arms. "We could make chicken," he whispered, kissing her cheek, down to her neck. "Some vegetables,mashed potatoes," he whispered, hearing her let out a breath.

She pulled him away from her neck. "Sounds good," she smiled and felt him squeeze her ass. "We'll make enough for mom, too. Invite her to stay."

He smiled and kissed her cheek. "Of course," he swayed her gently. "Tomorrow afternoon we're going to have a picnic."

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "Are we now? We're gonna have grandma take care of the kids a fourth day this week?"

Ed shook his head. "Nope. Noah's going to go to school, and Miss Caroline is going to go down for a nap, and we're going to enjoy a picnic in the living room. Picnic basket, blanket, sandwiches, cheese plate, wine, the works."

She smiled and looked into his eyes. "I love it." She kissed him gently. "Okay, dinner."

He smiled and they worked side by side to make dinner. Simple, baked chicken breast with broccoli and carrots and mashed potatoes. By the time they finished Caroline had arrived with the baby and agreed to stay for dinner. "Can I get you a drink, Ma?"

Caroline smiled. "Vodka if you have it. Splash of club soda."

Olivia made her mother-in-law the cocktail and took her daughter and hugged her. "I'm so sorry we've been relying on you so much. I've been dealing with something."

Caroline smiled at her daughter-in-law. "As long as you're okay, I don't mind taking care of my grand babies."

Olivia smiled back. "I'll be alright," she kissed her daughter's temple, brushing back her brown locks and holding her close.

The baby hugged her mother back. "Ma! Mama!" She pressed her lips to Olivia's cheek.

Olivia burst into tears. "Yes sweet girl. I'm your mama." She held her tight and closed her eyes. "I love you," she whispered.

Ed kissed the top of his wife's head and then kissed his daughter's temple. "Let's eat," he whispered to Olivia.

Olivia nodded and stood up, putting the baby in her high chair, serving dinner, and getting Caroline's baby food set. She sat down with her family and alternated between feeding herself and feeding her daughter. In this moment, though she was officially starting to go through "the change", although she couldn't make love to her husband, she had everything she needed around that table. She had her family.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope you liked this. For the record, yes I believe in science. I believe in The Big Bang, I believe in Evolution, I believe in all of that. But I also didn't want to get into the deeper things that go along with the evolution vs creationism debate with a kid as young as Noah (six-seven). Anyway, leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay) and I'll see you all soon!**


	47. Feel Good

**I'm back! A nice little chapter with the whole family. Enjoy.**

Olivia was walking around the house in an outfit made for a casual date night. It was the next day and she knew Ed had a picnic planned once Caroline went down for her nap. Jeans and a flowy top, but she was barefoot because they weren't going anywhere. She fed Caroline her lunch of puréed baby food and rocked her to sleep. She put her in her crib and stroked her hair. "Sleep tight, sweet girl." She walked out into the living room with the baby monitor, but didn't see her husband. "Ed?"

Ed, rather than set up in the living room, decided to set up in one of the guest rooms. He poked his head out and smiled at Olivia. "Over here," he held his hand out. He took her hand as she moved closer and got behind her, covering her eyes. He moved her forward slowly. "Ready?" He asked in a whisper. He saw her nod and he moved his hands. "Surprise." He kissed her neck and wrapped his arms around her from behind.

She took it all in. He'd turned the guest room into a romantic getaway for the two of them, and he'd ordered from some of the best restaurants in the area. She turned in his arms and kissed him softly, running her hand down his chest. "You are incredible," she whispered.

He caressed her face and kissed her again, slowly. He heard her groan and he smiled. "Sit," he whispered in her ear.

Olivia obliged, sitting on the floor, cuddling up with Ed when he sat down. He took one of the appetizers he'd bought and held it up for her, a fig stuffed with goat cheese and wrapped in bacon. She took a bite, her eyes locking with his as she ate. "Mm," she nuzzled against him. "So good," she whispered after she'd swallowed the juicy fruit.

Ed smiled and kissed her forehead. "I wanted this to be special. We haven't really had a date since we've been home from the honeymoon. I wanted a no pressure, beautiful, sexy date, that we didn't have to get a sitter for." He poured her a glass of wine.

She looked back at him. "You done good, baby." She kissed his lips again. They fed each other and sipped their wine until they had their fill. Olivia kissed him slowly once they finished, moaning into the kiss.

He lay her down on her back and continued the kiss, kissing down her neck before he stopped. "Liv," he whispered. He sat her up and looked into her eyes. "I know you're still on the antibiotics so you can feel better and we can't have sex right now," he ran his hand down her side. "As much as I want to," he whispered.

Olivia smiled and lifted her eyes to meet his. "I want to, too." She caressed his face. "I'll survive if I can still feel your lips on mine, feel you touch my body, all over."

Ed caressed her face and kissed her. "I can do that," he muttered against her lips. He kissed her again, their tongues meeting. Olivia laid back, pulling Ed on top of her as they kissed.

She let out a soft moan as she kissed him. She broke the kiss and let out a breath. "I love you, Ed Tucker."

He held her close. "I love you, Olivia Margaret Tucker. So much," he kissed her cheek and rolled them to their sides, rubbing her back. "This was perfect. You are perfect."

Olivia blushed and bit her bottom lip. "You're pretty perfect yourself," she whispered. "You treat me like royalty, and you make me feel, beautiful and sexy and just— loved."

Ed caressed her face. "Good. You're all those things and more."

She smiled and closed her eyes, relishing in the feeling of being in his arms. She heard Caroline start to cry over the baby monitor. She let out a groan and moved to get up. "I guess our date's over."

He stood up with her. "You go get comfortable, I'll get Caroline." He kissed her once more and smiled. "Leave the picnic, we ate all the food, we can clean up later."

Olivia kissed him one more time and rubbed his chest. "You're the best husband, the best father of my children. I am so lucky to have you, Ed."

Ed kissed her forehead. "Go get comfortable, I'll get the baby. Meet you in the bedroom?"

She smirked. "Meet you in there, Captain." She winked and walked to their bedroom and changed into a pair of Ed's sweats and one of his t-shirts. She put more lotion on her tattoo after she washed it and then sat on the bed, waiting for her husband and daughter.

He walked into Caroline's nursery and changed her diaper. He then brought her into the master bedroom, seeing Olivia. "Hey, baby girl, who's that over there?"

Caroline clapped. "Mama, Mama!"

Olivia smiles and held out her arms. "Oh, come here sweet girl!" She took Caroline and kissed her head. "Hello my little one," she smiled and held her close, feeling her pull away and watching her daughter play with the necklace around her neck a little bit. Olivia looked down at her. "So precious."

Ed wrapped an arm around her, and saw her turn to face him. "I will never get over the fact that we made such a perfect little baby girl. She definitely gets it from her mama."

She blushed and kissed him gently. "I'd argue she got it from her Daddy," she smiled and rested her head on her husband's shoulder. They played with Caroline, and sang to her softly, sneaking small kisses here and there. Eventually, Caroline just wanted to be held, so Olivia laid back and rested Caroline on her chest, rubbing her back. "Okay, sweet girl. Mama's right here."

He kissed her shoulder and rested his head next to hers on the pillow, an alarm set so one of them was awake when Noah got home, and soon all three were asleep. Ed heard his alarm and quickly turned it off before it could wake his sleeping wife or daughter. He kissed Olivia's shoulder and Caroline's head. "I love you two. So, so much." He walked out to the living room to wait for Noah.

Caroline started to fuss on Olivia's chest, waking her up. "Shh, shh, shh." She soothed. "Mama's here, sweet girl. Mama's here." She sat up and rocked her daughter gently, getting out of bed, noticing Ed was no longer next to her, assuming he was waiting for Noah, she walked out to the living room and smiled, whispering to Caroline. "Who's that? Is that Daddy?"

Caroline reached for him. "Da!"

Ed's head whipped around and he locked eyes with Olivia. He rushed over to her and took Caroline and wrapped her in his arms. "Oh, baby girl," he kissed her forehead.

Olivia caressed his cheek and kissed his lips gently. "I love you, thank you for giving me our daughter."

Ed kissed Olivia again, hearing the lock turn and the door open, seeing Noah rush in, Olivia picked him up and smiled. "Our family is pretty perfect, Liv."

She nodded. "It is, isn't it?" She kissed Noah's cheek and thanked Lucy. "So, how about we have a movie night?" She looked at her family. "We'll order in, watch a ton of movies until the kids are asleep, and then you and I can watch a sappy movie about love that we've never finished."

He smiled. "That sounds amazing." He kissed her temple. "Perfect way to start the weekend." He rubbed her back. "Though why is it we never finished that movie?"

Olivia looked at him. "Because of a reason that isn't an issue right now."

Ed thought. They had never finished it because by about halfway through they were having incredible sex. He blushed. "Oh, right." He kissed her temple and then looked at Noah. "Hey big guy, how about you go pick out some movies we can all watch?"

She put Noah down and watched him run to get a couple movies. Olivia took their daughter and set her down in front of some toys. She wrapped her arms around her husband. "I'd like nothing more than to put You've Got Mail on, and getting lost in each other halfway through. This damn cervicitis needs to go away now so I can feel you again." She smiled and kissed him softly.

He ran his hands over her sides. "I wish we could do that," he whispered. "God, I wish we could do that." He looked into her eyes. "But there's something so sexy, so erotic about waiting. Maybe we're not waiting to make it worth it, we're waiting so you aren't in pain anymore. But, even still, that moment I can finally be inside you again, that moment I push inside of you and make love to you, it is going to be so, so good," he whispered in her ear.

Olivia felt a shiver run down her spine and she smiled. "Soon, not soon enough, but soon." She looked into his eyes. "Six more days," she whispered and kissed him again, a smile on her face.

Ed smiled and held her hips. "Until then, we can kiss, we can touch, we can play," he whispered gently. "As much as you want."

She smiled. "Mm, good. I need some kind of intimacy with my husband." She ran her hands over his chest, and brought their lips together gently. Just as she was about to deepen the kiss, she heard Noah call to her. She broke the kiss and smiled at Ed, walking over to their movie collection, kneeling next to Noah. "What's up, sweet boy?"

"Can we watch Inside Out and Nemo?"

Olivia kissed his temple. "We sure can," she hugged her son. "What do you want for dinner?"

Noah thought for a minute. "Hmm, tacos?"

Olivia smiled. "Tacos it is, sweet boy. How about you go put on some comfy clothes and Daddy and I will order dinner and get the movies set up." She watched Noah run off to get changed. Olivia walked over to Ed and smiled. "Nice easy night at home, and once the kids go to bed we can play a little bit, can't do exactly what we want, but there's plenty we can do that isn't sex," she whispered.

Ed grinned. "It's nice that you have your sex drive back, even though we can't do anything about it at the moment."

She smiled. "It's nice to have it back. I think it was just that I didn't want to get excited if anything I did as just going to hurt." She shrugged. "Tonight, I want to explore, over our clothes. Like we did that first night we had a really intense make out session. Remember?"

He blushed. "I remember every moment with you," he whispered. "I remember every time I've made you moan," he kissed her neck softly.

Olivia let out a breath. "Okay, we need to order dinner," she whispered and moved his lips over so she could kiss him. "And stop kissing or I'll need more."

Ed pulled away and smiled. "Once the kids are asleep," he whispered.

She giggled. "Once the kids are asleep you can touch me all over. You can make me moan just for you," she smiled and walked over to get her phone. She ordered dinner for everyone, and then set up the living room to watch the movies. She cuddled up with Ed and waited for the food to get there, Noah coloring quietly on the coffee table.

He kissed the top of her head and stroked her arm. "I love you," He whispered to her, feeling her nuzzle further into his neck.

Olivia kissed his neck chastely, the blanket resting on her legs. "I love you," she whispered. "This is perfect." She wrapped her arms around him.

Ed rubbed her back and felt her breathing even out. He let her sleep on his shoulder until a knock came at the door. He gently roused her from her sleep. "Dinner's here. I'll be right back." He kissed her quickly, getting up to get their dinner, paying and bringing the food into the kitchen. He saw her walk in and they made plates for everyone, except Caroline, together. Caroline would no doubt pick off her parents plates.

She brought Noah's plate into the living room, along with her own, going back to the kitchen to get drinks. She set up the first movie, Finding Nemo, and by the time she sat back down, Ed was sitting next to her.

He couldn't keep his eyes off her when she moved. Once she sat back down he moved closer to her and whispered. "I could watch you move forever. The way your hips sway as you walk," his voice was low so only he could hear. "You're so sexy."

Olivia smiled as she listened to him, putting a hand on his thigh. "Easy there," she whispered. "We have at least three hours," she whispered and smiled, feeling his hands on her back.

Ed rested his head on her shoulder. "I can't wait."

She chuckled. "Well you're gonna have to, just until they're asleep." She moved her lips to his ear. "Then I'll take good care of you," she whispered.

He turned her face and kissed her softly, breaking the kiss and pressing play. He leaned in and whispered in her ear. "You get me so aroused when you talk like that."

Olivia bit her bottom lip. They are their dinner and watched the movies, halfway through the second one Noah and Caroline we're asleep. Olivia carries Caroline to her crib and laid her down, Ed carried Noah into his room and tucked him in. Olivia and Ed walked out at the same time and their eyes locked. She bit her bottom lip and held her hand out and led him into their bedroom, closing and locking the door, her hands running over his body, her hand rubbing over his erection through his pants.

Ed groaned and kissed her passionately. Walking her back towards the bed. His hands massaged her breasts over her shirt. Olivia broke the kiss and let out a moan. He smirked. "You like that?"

She looked into his eyes and smirked. "Mm, so good baby." She climbed onto the bed and saw him follow her. "Touch me," she whispered, feeling him lay her down. He climbed on top of her and rubbed her clit through her pants. "Oh," she moaned.

He kissed her neck and continued rubbing her clit, feeling her hips grind into his hand, her moans were soft and whiney. "That's it, sexy."

Olivia's mouth fell open as he kept his pace. "Ed," she whispered. "Oh, God I'm so close baby. Don't stop. God, please don't stop."

Ed smirked. "Never," he increased the pressure just slightly and her eyes went wide. She held his wrist to keep his hand where it was, clamping her thighs around him as she moved her hips more erratically. "That's it Liv, come on baby. Oh, come for me."

She gasped and arched her back, her eyes rolling back as her orgasm took over. "Oh, baby. Oh, yeah."

He brought her down and kissed her slowly. "I missed hearing you come."

Olivia smiled and flipped them. "Tell me how I can make you come." She straddled him, grinding into him. "Oh, you're so hard. Mm, tell me how to help." She massaged her breasts.

Ed groaned and gripped her hips. "Just like that," he closed his eyes. "Oh, yeah, right there." He heard her moan and felt her hips grind harder into his. "My God!"

She smirked and leaned forward, her lips teasing his, moving closer to his ear. "You're so fucking hot," she whispered. "I want you so fucking bad, baby."

He gripped her ass, her hips still moving against his. "I'm so close." He groaned and cradled her face in his hand, kissing her passionately.

Olivia kissed down his body and pulled his pants down. "No need to get these all dirty, now is there?" She stroked him. "Mm, now, where do you want to come. We can use the toy or I can wrap my lips around your beautiful cock. Up to you," she smiled. "If we use the toy you can close your eyes and pretend it's my pussy you're buried deep inside of."

Ed groaned. "Toy." He saw her smile and she took the fleshlight out of the drawer and used some lube on it, laying next to him.

She smirked and put her lips by his ear. "Close your eyes," she whispered. She saw his eyes close and she teased him with the toy before pushing it over him, hearing him groan. "You like that?" She stroked him with the toy, coming down hard, mimicking the way she would ride him if she could. She let out moans in his ear. "Oh baby, you feel so good," she whined in his ear.

He groaned and gripped her ass with the hand closed to her. "Ah, shit, Liv." He turned his face and she kissed him, hearing her moan. He broke the kiss and sighed. "Oh, my God, Liv. I'm coming," he groaned and came hard into the toy.

Olivia groaned and kissed him again. "Mm, so sexy," she whispered. "You like that?"

Ed moved the toy and pulled her on top of him. "Nothing's better than the real thing, Liv. But closing my eyes, having you moaning in my ear, Liv that was amazing."

She smiled and kissed him slowly. "Mm," she giggled. "I can't wait until it can be the real thing again." She nuzzled into Ed's neck. "Nothing feels better than having you inside me. It's like… it's like a puzzle," she shrugged. "I just… I miss feeling you."

He rubbed her back and kissed her temple. "I know, baby. I miss it, too." He wrapped blankets around them. "Soon," he whispered and they both closed their eyes and fell into a peaceful slumber.

Olivia woke up a few hours later and looked down at Ed. She kissed his temple and she climbed off him, getting up and grabbing a late night snack, before cleaning up from their date earlier, turning off the TV and walking back into their bedroom. She put more lotion on her tattoo, stripping down to her bra and panties and crawling back into bed, resting her head on his chest, closing her eyes.

Ed stroked her arm. "You okay?" His voice was laced with sleep and his eyes were still closed.

She smiled and nodded. "Amazing," she whispered. "Go back to sleep."

 **A/N: Alright, a little bit of a time hop for 48. Leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay), and I'll see you next chapter!**


	48. Secrets and Bondage

**I'm super excited for this chapter. Enjoy my friends. Enjoy.**

Dr. Cooper was doing a recheck of Olivia's cervix. "Alright, you're in the clear," she smiled and had Olivia sit back up. "Hormone wise, we have a few options. We can put you on a very low dose of vaginal estrogen. It'll help with the vaginal dryness. That's the one I'd suggest right now, especially since we haven't started getting into the severe menopause symptoms, like hot flashes. Or we can start you on a combination of estrogen and progestogen but you can only be on that for 5 years at a time, it increases your risk for breast cancer."

Olivia let out a breath. "What about just estrogen at a higher dose?"

Dr. Cooper shook her head. "You still have your uterus, you need the progestogen to prevent cancers of the uterus. If you didn't have your uterus, just estrogen would be the best option.

Olivia let out a breath. "So, cancer and cancer are my options." She shook her head. "Can't we just take my uterus out, reduce the risk of cancer?"

Dr. Cooper smiled. "If I could do that, I absolutely would, but you have a healthy uterus, I don't want to subject you to a major surgery if it isn't medically necessary."

Olivia rubbed the tops of her thighs. "Vaginal estrogen then, if it's going to help the symptoms I have now, I don't want to risk getting cancer just so I can have sex with my husband."

Dr. Cooper nodded. "Okay. We can do that." She wrote out the prescription and handed it to her. "In the meantime, you're clear for sex. Try not to let this get in your head. Enjoy your husband."

Olivia nodded. "Thank you." She watched her leave and she started to get dressed. She was in her bra and panties and caught a look at herself in the mirror. She took a picture, making sure he head wasn't in the picture and she bit her bottom lip. She sent it to Ed with the text, 'See you tonight.' She put the rest of her clothes on and walked out, scheduling a six month follow up and then walking out of the doctor's office to work. She sat at her desk and looked at her phone, seeing a reply from Ed. 'Tease.'

Ed couldn't stop staring at the picture Olivia sent him. It had him hard. His eyes raked over her toned stomach, her hips, her lace clad breasts. He groaned, seeing her response come in. Another picture of her sitting at her desk, showing her cleavage, her shirt open just a little further than normal with a text that just said, 'Thinking of you.' He groaned. Her teasing was driving him insane.

She had taken the picture at her desk quickly, buttoning up the two buttons she'd undone to take the photo. She got another text from Ed, this time, a picture of his cock, still in his black boxer briefs. 'Hurry home.' Was all the text read. She stood up and walked out of her office and looked around. "Where are we?"

Amanda looked up at her and quickly moved to stand in front of her. "Liv, your button," she murmured.

Olivia looked down and saw that the lower of the two buttons had come undone. "Thanks," she whispered, fixing it.

Amanda nodded. "Um, we just arrested the guy good for the Jones assault. Full confession. Just waiting on Stone."

Olivia nodded. "Alright, I have to go do something, you guys can hold down the fort for a couple hours?"

Amanda gave her a knowing smirk. "We'll call you if we need you Lieutenant."

Olivia nodded and grabbed her coat and her phone, walking to the elevator, sending Ed a text. 'See you in twenty. Don't start without me.' She rushed back to the apartment, once she was in the elevator in her building she undid the two buttons she had undone in the picture. She walked to her apartment and unlocked the door. "Ed," she called out, her voice sounding more sultry than she intended. She walked through the apartment to their bedroom, locking eyes with him, biting her lip. "Hi," She bit her bottom lip and tossed her blazer aside, putting her badge and gun on the dresser. "I missed you," she kicked her shoes off and undid her belt, unbuttoning and unzipping her pants, pushing them over her hips, unbuttoning her shirt the rest of the way, taking her hair out of the ponytail, leaving her in her bra and panties. "You gonna stare all day or—"

Ed was up in an instant and pushed her back against the door, his mouth covering hers, taking her hands in his and pressing them back against the door. "What do you want?"

She leaned in and kissed him. "You. All of you." She sighed.

He looked at her. "We got the all clear?"

Olivia grinned. "Took my last dose of antibiotic last night and went to see Dr. Cooper today. I'm cleared for sex," she whispered.

Ed picked her up and carried her to the bed. "That is the sexiest sentence I've ever heard." He took his boxers off and kissed over her body, pulling her panties down and letting his tongue run over her slit. He heard her moan and pushed his fingers inside her. "Oh Liv."

She moaned and grabbed the lube from the night stand, giving it to him. "Here." She felt him put the lube on her clit and run it through her folds. She watched him put some on his cock and she groaned. "Please, Ed!" She begged.

He smirked and pushed inside of her, slowly, both moaning loudly. He stilled himself, being totally sheathed inside her was all he needed to come, but he refused to come before she did. "Jesus Christ, Liv. You feel so fucking good."

Olivia moaned and arched her back. "Oh, yeah." She kissed him, feeling him start to move inside her, slowly, gently. "Baby, harder," she begged. "God, please,"

Ed ran his hand over her body. "You sure? I don't want to hurt you." Concern was written all over his face.

She hooked her leg over his and flipped them, starting to ride him hard and fast. "Fuck!" She moaned and fell forward kissing him. "Oh, you feel so fucking good inside my pussy, Ed." She kept riding him, her clit grinding into his pelvic bone. "I'm gonna come baby. I want you to come inside me."

He groaned and slapped her ass, gripping her hair, thrusting his hips, hard, up into her as he released inside of her, hearing her cry out. "Fuck yeah, Liv."

Olivia rode out her orgasm and fell on top of him, kissing him passionately. "Mm," she broke the kiss and smiled. "Oh my God, Ed," she chucked and moaned, feeling him roll them to their sides. "I missed that."

Ed caressed her face. "Me, too," he kissed her forehead. "You are incredible, Liv. So incredible." He ran his hand down her back. "Do you have to go back in?"

She groaned. "I should, but I'm kind of on call. They said they'd call if they need me." She kissed his chest. "I kinda want to stay like this for a while. Wrapped in your arms, naked, enjoying the post coital glow." She smiled. "My favorite place to be."

He rubbed her back. "You have your phone?"

Olivia groaned. "It's in my pants pocket." She looked at him. "But I don't want to get up to get it."

Ed smirked and quickly slipped out of bed, grabbing her phone and holding it out to hand it to her, but pulling it away so he could kiss her. She moaned softly into the kiss before he broke it and handed her the phone. She checked and made sure no one called or texted then made sure the ringer was on before putting it on her nightstand, cuddling up with Ed again. He kissed her again before breaking the kiss. "You're so beautiful."

She smiled and caressed his face. "I love you, Ed. More than I could ever put into words," she searched his face and his eyes.

He lifted her chin and kissed her with a fiery passion, he heard her moan and he smirked, moving his hand down to gently squeeze her breast. He broke the kiss, just as she let out a loud moan, leaning in and taking her nipple into his mouth, sucking gently. "You like that?" He whispered against her skin.

Olivia took a deep breath, enjoying what he was doing to her with his mouth, his fingers that lightly ran over her toned abdomen, avoiding the area he knew she wanted them most. Right between her thighs. "Ed," she spoke on a breath, her voice shaking.

Ed smirked and kissed her neck. "You intoxicate me," He whispered before kissing her again, allowing his fingers to push inside of her, hearing her moan into the kiss. He smirked and slowly moved his fingers, breaking the kiss. "Oh, yeah, Liv."

She sighed and let the pleasure take over her body, her eyes closing gripping onto Ed with one hand, the other slowly starting to stroke him. "Mm, right there!" She moaned and kissed him again.

He groaned when she started stroking him. He gently flicked his thumb over her clit, causing her to moan. He broke the kiss and looked into her eyes as they brought each other to climax with their hands. "Don't stop baby."

Olivia arched her back and moaned, feeling herself orgasm, milking his fingers. "Ed!" She wrapped her leg around his, pulling her body closer to his as she rode out her orgasm. "Oh fuck!" She continued stroking him and kissed him passionately, moving his hand away.

Ed broke the kiss, moaning as he licked his fingers clean, feeling himself ready to come. "I'm coming, Liv."

She managed to get him on his back and wrap her lips around him in time to catch every drop of his release. She looked up at him as she swallowed, moaning softly. Once she swallowed everything he gave her she kissed back up to his lips. "Mm, you're so good to me, Ed. So many orgasms," she giggled and kissed his lips softly.

He broke the kiss and looked into her eyes. "It's impossible for me to keep my hands off of you."

Olivia blushed. "I like that you can't," she whispered.

Ed grinned. "Oh, I have something for you," he saw her climb off him and he dug for the wrapped box in his dresser, bringing it over, handing it to her. "Open it."

She tore away the paper to reveal a DSLR camera. "A camera?"

He kissed her neck. "A camera that makes video," he whispered. "Video that saves on a memory card, that we can watch on a laptop that is in no way connected to the internet," he kissed her lips.

Olivia smirked and looked at him. "Total anonymity?"

Ed nodded. "I got a tripod, too." He smirked and kissed her neck, then her lips. "We can get more memory cards so we can take pictures and film family friendly thing, but this one," he said, holding the 512 gigabyte memory chip. "Is for our rendezvous." He kissed her. "Camera has to be charged before we can use it."

She smirked and kissed his lips. "Well, we'll have to charge it then, won't we?" She kissed him and put together the charger, and charging the camera. "Maybe we can test it out tonight," she whispered, moving her lips to his ear. "Make your wildest dreams into a reality."

He looked at her. "You've already done that. Liv, my wildest dreams have all come true, because we got married. You're all I've ever wanted."

Olivia smiled. "You've got me for life. And I will do anything for you. Whatever you want, forever."

Ed pulled her into his lap, holding her hips. "I want your heart," he whispered. "My biggest fantasy was that threesome, and the Queen/Knight roleplay."

She kissed him gently. "You have my heart. What other fantasies do you have?"

He looked at her and opened his mouth but shook his head. "Liv," he whispered. "I don't want to hurt you."

Olivia cast her eyes downwards. "The only thing that would hurt me is you telling me you're leaving," she looked back into his eyes. "Do you fantasize about leaving me?"

Ed caressed her face. "God, no." He whispered. "Never, I'd never go anywhere, Liv."

She wrapped her arms around him. "So what?"

He took a deep breath. "I uh, I'd like to tie up, just so all you experience is pleasure, not having to worry about me."

Olivia bit her bottom lip and nodded. "Maybe—"

Ed shook his head. "I don't want to trigger you, Liv. I know what Lewis did. I don't want to be the reason those thoughts come back into your consciousness. I don't want to be making love to you and have you flashing back to the worst days of your life."

She nodded. "I'm sorry I can't give you that, Ed. I'm sorry he broke me," she buried her face in his neck and cried.

He held her and rubbed her back. "Hey, hey, hey, hey," he whispered. "Olivia, listen to me. He did not break you," he whispered. "You are the strongest person I know, he did not break you." He kissed her temple.

Olivia wiped her eyes and looked into his. "I used to like being tied up," she let out a scoff. "I used to love it." She shook her head. "Trusting someone enough to not have control over my body, not having my hands to push them off, it's a whole other kind of erotic. But having someone you don't trust, someone who just wants to hurt you take away that control, take away your ability to run, to get somewhere safe." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Even when you trust someone so completely, the way I trust you, that isn't something you can trust someone with anymore." She shrugged. "And I hate it. Even more now that I know that you want that, that you want me to show you that level of trust." She shook her head. "He took that from me. From us," she whispered and wiped her eyes.

Ed rubbed his hands over her arms. "I know you trust me, Liv. I know that I'm the only one you've completely opened up to about Lewis, other than Lindstrom. But you told Lindstrom so he could help you heal. You told me because you trust me." He saw her nod. "I don't need you to let me tie you up to know you trust me. I don't need you to let me tie you up at all. It was a fleeting fantasy years ago."

She nodded then pulled back. "Years? How many years?"

He looked at her. "About 5– after Cassidy—"

Olivia's eyes went wide. "Cassidy? Brian Cassidy?" She let out a breath and shook her head. "What did he tell you?"

Ed looked into her eyes, sheepishly. "Um, after he started at IA, he'd talk to me about how he missed certain things with you, like tying you up."

She let out a humorless laugh and climbed off of Ed, walking away. "He told you—"

He got up and moved closer to her. "I never should have listened. It was wrong—"

Olivia put a finger up. "Don't. I'm not mad at you right now but if you keep talking I will be." She ran her hand through her hair. "What else? What else did he tell you about our sex life?" Ed looked at her, afraid to tell her. "Tell me."

Ed took a deep breath. "He used to get mad at me because I kept him so late that he'd walk into the apartment to you masturbating, and then you didn't want to be with him, and he missed how much of a freak you were in bed."

She wiped her tears away. "Bastard." She let out a breath. "I can't believe he did that to me." She looked at him, fire in her eyes. "Is that why you always fantasized about me? When you were with Rita? Is that why you asked me out?"

"No—"

"Don't lie to me!" Olivia let out a breath. "Is our whole marriage based on gossip about my sex life with Brian and what a freak I am?"

Ed moved closer to her and touched her cheek. "Olivia," choosing her full name, rather than a nickname or a pet name. "I swear to you, I've wanted you since way before I even knew about Cassidy. You have always, always, intrigued me and turned me on. I would never, ever lie to you. I love you more than life itself, and Cassidy telling me those things just played into the fantasies I'd had for years. And I think he only told me what he did to make me jealous." He pulled her into a hug. "You're the sexiest woman on the job, and he made sure everyone knew that you were his."

She rested her head on his chest. "I'm sorry I lashed out. I'm not mad at you," she ran her hands over his arms. "I just— I can't believe he did that to me," her lip trembled. "I can't believe he'd make me out to be a whore," she shook her head.

He kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry, Liv. I'm sorry I was the one to tell you. I'm sorry I listened to him. But I never, ever, thought of you as a whore, as anything but a woman who knew what she wanted." He tilted her chin. "The woman I love."

Olivia smiled. "I love you," she whispered. She leaned in and kissed him, wrapping her arms around him. "Immensely."

 **A/N: Let me know what you think! Leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay). I'll see you guys next chapter. CAN YOU BELIEVE WE'RE ALMOST AT 50!?**


	49. Preserved in Love

**I don't even know if this is any good. I have been reading so much lately for school, I think it's good, but it's not actually sinking in. So, here's 49.**

Olivia walked out of the bathroom in lingerie that was essentially a bow tied around her breasts and a g-string. She rested against the door jamb. "Hey," She said coyly. She saw Ed turn around and she bit her bottom lip. "Come unwrap me?"

The camera was set up, facing the bed, and it was recording. Ed walked over to her and walked her over to the bed, having her kneel on the bed. She sat up on her knees, her legs spread slightly as she watched him untie the bow, that kept her breasts hidden from view. Once it fell off her body, he leaned in and sucked softly on her nipple, looking up at her, hearing her moan. Ed kissed up to her lips. "You're so sexy," he whispered.

She shrugged and cradled his face. "I just wanted to look good for you," she kissed him again feeling him get on the bed and turn her slightly so she was facing the camera and he moved so his face was underneath her he moved the tiny scrap of fabric away from her pussy and she moaned, sitting on his face. "Oh, Ed!"

He smirked and kept running his tongue over her folds, feeling her grind her hips into his face. He pushed his tongue inside her and gripped her thighs. He groaned and started to suck her clit, pushing his fingers inside her. "Mm, come on, baby. Come all over my face."

Olivia let her head fall back, moaning, her hips grinding into his hand and his hips. "Fuck, baby!" She whined and felt her orgasm take over, riding out her orgasm, her juices running down his wrist and into his mouth. She climbed off of him, laying on top of him, kissing him passionately. "I love how you do that," she whispered, still breathless, feeling his cock hard against her thigh. "Mm, someone's excited," she giggled and kissed his neck and down his chest.

Ed stopped her and pulled her up, flipping them. "Oh no, it's all about you," he whispered and kissed her shoulders. "Turn over, on your hands and knees."

She smiled and got on her hands and knees, looking back at him, moving her hips from side to side. "You gonna fuck me? Spank my ass?"

He pulled her hips back, pushing fully inside her with one motion, hearing her moan. He smirked, pulling her up, gripping her hair. "You want me to fuck you?" He whispered in her ear, his fingers running over her clit. She whimpered. "Yes?" He heard her moan. "Say it, Liv. Tell me."

Olivia gasped and rested her head back on his shoulder. "Fuck me, Ed. Fuck me hard."

Ed smirked and got her back on her hands and knees, running his hand over her back, starting to move hard and fast inside her, hearing her moan, groaning, feeling her start to milk him. "That's it, Liv. Come around my cock." His voice was low and throaty. His hand made contact with her ass. He heard her moan, burying her face in the bed, muffling her moans. He gripped her hips as he pounded into her, hearing her moans.

She gripped the sheets. "Ed." She droned, feeling his fingers on her clit. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" She lifted her head slightly. "Come in my pussy baby. God, please," she begged, feeling another wave of pleasure take over, her mouth falling open in a silent scream. She felt him spank her again and she let out a moan. "Mm, you feel so good baby," she grinned, looking back at him. "You want to come in my pussy or do you want me to suck your cock?"

He groaned and pulled her up again, slipping out of her, turning her around, kissing her passionately. She moaned and ran her hands over his chest. He pulled away, looking into her eyes. "I want your lips around me."

Olivia smirked and moved back slightly, leaning down so she could take him into her mouth. She stroked him and saw him grab the camera. Focusing it on her. She looked up and smiled. "You want to make sure you get the best angle, huh?" She kissed the tip of his cock, gently sucking it, looking up at the camera. "Mm, my juices taste so good on you," she giggled.

Ed moaned and stroked her hair, watching her take him fully into her mouth, down her throat. He gripped her hair and his hips moved with her. She'd let him go every now and then to take a breath and moan, but her hand never stopped stroking him, her eyes were glued to what would be his, but locking vision with the lens of the camera. "You're so fucking sexy when you take me in your mouth."

She smirked and as her hand kept stroking him, she leaned down and softly sucked on his balls, hearing his sharp intake of breath and his low, guttural, moan. She licked up the underside of his shaft. "Mm, let me taste your come baby."

He groaned, realizing her hips were grinding into her hand as she sucked him. That was all it took. He released in her mouth and she pulled back, swallowing. She licked her lips and knelt in front of him, kissing him passionately. He returned the kiss, breaking it softly. "That was so fucking hot. Wait until you see."

Olivia smirked and licked her lips. "I don't know what came over me," she grinned. "I just let loose and went with it, but I felt so sexy, and so powerful," she pressed her body against his. "You bring out the animal in me," she whispered and kissed him. She broke the kiss and turned off the camera, putting it on the nightstand, kissing him again, her mouth opening wide for him, their tongues met and danced, pushing her hips into his, pulling away and moving her lips to his ear, purring softly.

Ed moaned. "My God you're so fucking hot." He gripped her ass. "I can't get enough of you, baby."

She smirked and moved his hand to her front. She had one more orgasm in her for the night, she was wet, and she needed him to make her come one more time before she could roll over and go to sleep. He ran his fingers through her folds, feeling her rock her hips into his hand. She moaned and gripped onto his shoulders. "Mm, just like that," she gasped, feeling his fingers push inside her. "Oh," she looked into his eyes, not daring to look away.

He slowly moved his fingers in and out of her, his free hand caressing her face. "You're dripping," he whispered. "And it's so fucking hot. Knowing it's all for me."

Olivia let out a small moan. "Rub my clit."

Ed moved them so they were standing on the floor and he held her up with his free arm. "I know what happens when you come when you're this wet, and I'm too spent to change the sheets. At least our floor is hardwood."

She gripped him and groaned feeling his thumb rub her clit. She felt her knees start to give and she held him tighter. "Oh, Ed. Oh, I'm coming. Yeah!" She opened her mouth in a silent scream, her come gushing out of her, all over the floor. He continued to rub her clit as her orgasm wracked her body. She bit his shoulder and sighed. She finished and collapsed in his arms. "Oh, my God," she whispered.

He carried her back to the bed, laying her down and kissing her passionately. "You're a goddess," he whispered and held her hands. "You get feeling back in your legs, I'm going to clean up," he whispered and kissed her again.

Olivia smiled a tired, lazy smile. "Mm." She lay on her pillow, catching her breath, enjoying the way her body still tingled from the incredible orgasms her husband had just given her. After a few minutes, Ed climbed in bed next to her and wrapped her in his arms. She smiled and settled against him. "I love you. I love how you make me orgasm. It's so fucking good."

Ed smiled and kissed her temple. "I'm the luckiest person in the world to get to sleep next to you every single night, to get to touch you, and kiss you, and bring you to the heights of ecstasy over and over and over again," he whispered. "To get to taste you," he whispered. "I wouldn't trade anything for the privilege to get to do all of those things. All the time."

She smiled and caressed his face. "I'm in awe of you."

He kissed her softly. "Right back at you," he spoke softly against her lips.

Olivia smiled. "You know, I've imagined it, having sex on camera, but it's a rush. It's like having a voyeur without having another person in the room. Without anyone else having to watch it. It gave me permission to be extra dirty."

Ed smiled and caressed her face. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. I liked it, too," he whispered.

She kissed him softly. "I wouldn't want to make a sex tape with any other man," she whispered. "I trust you to not leak it, same with the pictures I sent. I trust that you won't show them off, bragging that I'm yours."

He ran his hand over her arm. "You're not a possession for me to claim, you're your own person. I just have the immense pleasure of being married to you, fathering your children and making you come over and over and over," he whispered and kissed her. "And having that on film, well, a memory card, so we can watch each other, it's so incredibly sexy, just thinking about it."

Olivia smiled. "I can't wait to see how your eyes darken to the perfect shade of sapphire. Deep pools of crisp blue. It's so sexy," she whispered. "You're so sexy."

Ed smirked and kissed her neck. "We can take a look in a few minutes. I just have to get my laptop and disconnect the internet."

She smirked. "How about we check it out later. Right now, I want you to cuddle up with me so I can fall asleep in your arms for a bit before the kids come home," she ran her hands over his chest. "Besides, watching that will get me all wet again and I'm thinking my pussy is going to need a bit of recuperation time so I can walk tomorrow." She kissed him gently. "I love it when you fuck me, but we get so into it, I wind up not being able to walk. Not that I don't love the reminder of our amorous trysts the night before, but it's hard to run after a perp when you have a limp when you walk."

He ran his hand over her side, gripping her ass, hearing her groan. "We don't have to go so hard every single time."

Olivia kissed him softly. "Don't you dare think of easing up," she whispered. "Unless I ask," she smiled and wrapped her leg around him, kissing him again.

Ed wrapped her in his arms. "Did you want to sleep?" He whispered against her lips.

She giggled. "Sorry. You're irresistible." She whispered and tucked her head under his chin.

He kissed the top of her head. "Likewise," He whispered. "I will always, always, be deliriously in love with you. And I will always want you, in every sense of the word. I crave you."

Olivia looked up at him and she smiled. "And I will always be here. You will always have me. And I, as long as I live, I will always need you. Until my dying day, I will need you," she whispered, caressing his face.

Ed held her and rubbed her back, both of them falling asleep, tangled in each other. His phone rang and he quickly picked it up before it could wake his sleeping wife. "Ma? The kids okay?" He stroked Olivia's hair and he nodded. "Is he throwing up?" He rested his hand on his forehead. "I can come get them. Ma," he closed his eyes. "Fine, but if they get to be too much, call and I'll come get them, okay?" He ran his hand over his face. "Love you too." He hung up and curled back up with Olivia.

She groaned. "Everything okay?" Her voice was heavy with sleep.

He kissed her forehead. "Noah isn't feeling well, he hasn't thrown up. I offered to go pick them up, mom said she didn't want to bother him, he was napping. I told her to call and let us know if she needs a break."

Olivia smiled and nuzzled into him. "Mm, okay," she closed her eyes again, feeling his fingers run over her skin. "You're going to get me turned on again," she mumbled.

Ed smirked. "Something wrong with craving my incredibly sexy wife?"

She grinned. "Wrong? No." She looked up at him and kissed him softly. "Go get your laptop," she bit her bottom lip and smirked. She watched him as she moved. She took the memory card out of the camera. Once he came back with his laptop turned on and disconnected from the internet she slid the memory card in.

He kissed her neck softly. "You're so sexy."

Olivia moaned and clicked on the video when it popped up, pressing play. She cuddled up next to Ed as she watched Ed set up, and heard herself call to him. She watched Ed leave the frame only to bring them both back in. He watched as Ed used his lips and his tongue and she moaned. "Mm," she gently rubbed her clit, seeing him stroke himself.

Ed couldn't help but groan as he watched her orgasm take over while she ground against his face. Groan as he watched her orgasm take over again as he fucked her from behind, and they both groaned as they watched her fellate him. "Jesus fuck."

She moaned, watching her eyes meet the camera lens. Watching herself was turning her on. "Is this what you see when I—"

He cut her off and kissed her passionately. "I need you," He whispered in her ear. "I need to feel you."

Olivia looked into his eyes. "Get inside me. Please Ed." She gasped when she felt him push into her, moaning. "Mm, fuck." She arched her back and felt him pull her leg up over his waist. He started to move inside of her, hard and fast. "Oh, yeah baby! Oh, right there."

Ed groaned, one hand gripping the headboard. "Fuck, Liv." He buried his head in her neck as he moved his hips. "Ah, fuck, yeah."

She moaned. "Ah!" She pulled him into a kiss, their hips meeting as they thrust together. Her walls began to milk him. She broke the kiss, her breath heavy and she groaned, speaking through gritted teeth. "Fuck, Ed. Mm, come inside me. Fuck me!" She gasped as he pounded inside her harder.

He groaned, feeling her body tense, her orgasm taking over. "Mm, yeah, come around my cock baby." He kept moving, hearing her moan. "I'm gonna come baby. Oh my— fuck!" He released inside hear, hearing her sigh, collapsing on top of her. "God, you're amazing."

Olivia smiled and bit her bottom lip. "Right back at you."

Ed ran his finger gently over her tattoo. "You allowed to sit in a bathtub with this yet?"

She smiled and closed her eyes. "It's almost done flaking. Once it's done I can get in a bathtub." She smiled. "But I can shower, and we probably should." She kissed him gently. "We smell like sex." She giggled.

He kissed down her neck, down to her tattoo. "It looks so sexy," he whispered and kissed down her side to her hip, then back up to her lips. "Let's shower," he whispered.

Olivia smiled and let him help her up. "Come get dirty with me while we get clean," she whispered and led him into their bathroom.

 **A/N: So, there's 49. 50 is coming soon, and it's going to pick up at the end of the day in court. I think Olivia's going to need some comfort. Leave s review here or on twitter (couricshargitay) and I'll see you soon.**


	50. Remembering

**So, I'm really proud with how this chapter turned out. Slight trigger warning for discussion of sexual assault. But yeah, enjoy.**

 _"You pray. You pray, God please don't let him climb on top of me again."_

Another week had passed. Ed saw Olivia walk in the door, making eye contact with him. He could tell she'd been crying. He looked at Noah. "Hey, bud, how about you go get your PJs on and I'll be in, in a few minutes to tuck you in." He watched Noah run off and he got up and wrapped Olivia in his arms, feeling her body start to shake with sobs. "You want to talk about it?" He felt her shake her head no. "You just want me to hold you?" He felt her nod. "Okay, how about you go into our bedroom and get comfortable and I'll be in soon, right after I tuck Noah in?"

Olivia nodded. She looked at Ed, tears running down her face. "Thank you," she whispered and walked into their bedroom. She got out one of Ed's shirts and she let out a breath, peeling her work clothes off, taking her bra off. She looked at herself in the mirror and her face contorted with tears. Her breath was heavy and her hands were shaking. Every scar, to her, looked fresh. Angry red marks. She felt Ed's hand on her shoulder and she jumped and let out a yelp. She saw Ed and she shook her head. "I'm sorry. I'm—" she felt him wrap his arms around her and she sobbed into his chest. "I'm sorry."

Ed rubbed her back. "Shh, shh, shh." He kissed the top of her head. "Talk to me, Liv. Tell me."

She pulled away and wiped her eyes. "Don't be mad at me. Promise you won't get mad."

He walked her over to the bed and helped her put the shirt on, pulling her into his arms. "I won't get mad, baby. Talk to me."

Olivia curled into his chest. "Amanda and I got into a fight in the box today, about this case. It got to the point of Amanda telling me how terrified she was as a girl of being weak. And I just… I told her she had no idea what terror was. I talked about Lewis and the terror I felt for four days. And I—" she stopped and shook her head. "I remembered something that I've been blocking out for five years, Ed." She wiped her eyes. "Lewis raped me." She looked up at him. "That first night, after he pistol whipped me, it didn't knock me out. He untied me and brought me to my bed pulled my pants the rest of the way off, they were already unzipped, he fondled me after he knocked me out the first time. He said I was so sweet while I was passed out. But he wanted more. And he took it. He threatened to do it again after. Once I got free of the cuffs and subdued him I burned my panties. He made me clean up when he was done, but I had blood in my panties because it was— it was violent. I burned them. And then I just buried it. It all came tumbling out today." She shook her head. "Lewis raped me and held it over my head the whole time he had me. It was only the first night, it was once. I don't think I'd have had strength inside me to fight him more than that. When I had the rape kit, it showed signs of rough sex, not traumatic sex." She looked at him. "I blocked out, I was too proud to admit it. As far as I was concerned it was from Brian the night before Lewis broke in."

Ed wrapped her in his arms, kissing her temple. "Baby," he whispered. "I'm so sorry," he held her tight. "What can I do?"

She shook her head. "Just hold me," she practically begged. She felt him pull her down to lay on her side. He wrapped her in his arms. She closed her eyes and gripped his shirt. "Just love me," she whispered.

He rubbed her back. "Always. I'm always going to be right here, and I'm always going to love you."

Olivia felt a peace fall over her, and she drifted off to sleep. It was a blissful respite from the day, exactly what she needed. She hadn't eaten at all that day, only had some coffee, but she wasn't hungry. She just wanted to feel safe. She woke up a few hours later and looked up, seeing Ed. "Did you sleep at all?"

Ed shook his head. "I was too worried about the love of my life," he whispered. "You alright? Can I get you something?"

She smiled. "I'm okay," she whispered. "A little hungry, but okay."

He kissed her forehead. "Want me to get you something to eat? You should put something in your stomach."

Olivia smiled. "I should. Don't go crazy, okay? I don't need a whole big meal."

Ed kissed her temple. "Stay cozy in bed, I'll get you something. You want some water too?"

She nodded. "You spoil me." She watched him leave and she pulled out a pad of paper and a pen and she started writing. She wiped her eyes as she wrote out her emotions.

He walked back in with a tray of meats, cheeses, crackers, olives, some figs, pasta, everything he could manage to put together in a few minutes. He smiled when he saw her writing. "You alright?"

Olivia looked up at him, putting the pad and pen away. "Just needed to get a few things out of my head." She saw him walk over and she kissed him. "You didn't need to go through all this trouble."

Ed put the tray down and walked around to the other side of the bed. "No trouble," he whispered. "Seriously, I cut up some salami and soppressata, some cheese." She caressed his face. "Heated up some pasta I made for dinner. But even if I made all of this by hand, it wouldn't be any trouble. Not for you," he whispered. "I'd do anything for you."

She smiled and kissed his lips gently. She popped an olive in her mouth. "I am so lucky," she whispered.

He smiled and sat behind her, letting her rest back against his chest. "I just want to take care of you."

Olivia looked back at him, "You take excellent care of me, Ed. I'm just sorry I keep having these breakdowns. Keep having these memories pop up."

Ed kissed the back of her head. "I'm just glad that I'm here to love you through all of it." He kissed her neck gently. "I'm so thrilled that you trust me enough to let me in."

She smiled and leaned back and kissed him slowly. He ran his hands over her sides and she smiled, moaning softly. She broke the kiss and smiled. "Mm." She bit her bottom lip. "The only man I've ever trusted so fully. So completely."

He held her in his arms and fed her bites. She settled back against him and smiled. He moved the tray to the night stand once she'd finished eating. "Feeling better?"

Olivia looked back at him. "Much." She placed a chaste kiss on his lips. She turned in his lap to straddle him, keenly aware of her surroundings, aware of both of their levels of arousal. "Kiss me."

Ed looked at her. "You're sure?" He saw her nod and he cradled her face in his hands, leaning in to kiss her softly, testing the waters.

She smiled and wrapped her arms around him, still kissing him. "Mm," she broke the kiss and looked at him. "That feels nice."

He ran his hands over her sides. "I could kiss you forever. But I don't want to make you feel like I'm pushing you."

Olivia smiled. "I'll let you know when I need a break, when I need to stop. Right now is not that time, so you should definitely keep kissing me," she leaned in and kissed him again, feeling his fingers lightly trace small circles on the skin of her thigh. She let out a gentle moan and scratched the back of his head lightly. She felt him pull her closer, their bodies flush together.

Ed ran his hands over her back as their languid kiss continued. This kiss wasn't about getting to orgasm, this wasn't a kiss that led to sex. This kiss was about comfort and safety. This kiss was about pouring every ounce of love they had into one another without having it escalate into any type of physical penetration. He broke the kiss, letting their breath mingle, caressing her face. "You're okay?"

She rested her forehead against his. "Ed, I'm fine. I need you to do two things. Trust me that I'll let you know when it's too much, and stop treating me like I'm made of glass and I'm going to shatter into a million little pieces. It happened, he raped me. Five years ago. I still want to be in your arms with your lips on mine. I appreciate you wanting to make sure I'm alright, but I need you to trust me. Okay?"

He caressed her cheek and nodded. "Okay," he whispered. He saw her smile and he felt her lips against his, moaning softly. He let the hand that was on her cheek slide to the back of her head. Her fingers ran over his chest as they kissed. He let his fingers graze her hips under the t-shirt.

Olivia quickly pulled away. "Over the clothes," she whispered. "I know you find me sexy and beautiful, but—" She let out a breath. "But when I was looking at myself in that mirror, all my scars looked so fresh to me, like they'd just happened. I don't want anyone, even the love of my life, to have to look at my naked body right now. Even if I know it wouldn't matter to you," she whispered.

Ed moved his hand and cradled her face in both hands. "I do find you sexy and beautiful, no matter what, Liv. But I'm not going to do something you don't want me to. You want me to stay on top of your clothes, all clothes stay on until you say otherwise. You want me to just kiss you and hold you, I don't touch any part of your body. Olivia I mean it, whatever you want I'm more than happy to give you, okay?"

She nodded and kissed him softly. "Just, over the clothes okay? Touch me wherever you want, as long as it's over my clothes." She looked into his eyes and smiled. "I'm just not ready for sex yet. I'm still trying to figure out what my mind remembers and what's going to trigger me."

He kissed her again, his fingers running over her body. Through her shirt. "That's okay. I don't need sex. You know I don't. And if I get too aroused, I'll go to the bathroom and take care of it, okay?"

Olivia let out soft, breathy moans. "Okay." She pressed her body fully against his, kissing him passionately, slipping her tongue past his lips. He groaned and ran his hands over her chest, his thumbs grazing her nipples through her shirt. She gasped and let out a soft moan. "Mm," she grinned and moved back slightly, giving him access to her whole torso, her hips, and her pussy. She kissed him again, feeling his hands roam her body, his fingers lightly grazing her clit through her panties. She sighed and bit gently at his bottom lip.

Ed broke the kiss and looked into her eyes, holding eye contact as he gently, slowly, rubbed her clit through her panties. Olivia moaned and closed her eyes. Ed kissed her eyelids and whispered, "Open your eyes beautiful."

She looked deep into his eyes and smiled, her hips gently rocking into Ed's hand, letting out a soft moan. "Your hands feel so good," she whispered.

He smirked and kept eye contact, slowly rubbing her clit with one hand, the other caressing her face. "Anything for you," he whispered. "You tell me what you need me to do."

Olivia smiled and shook her head. "Exactly what you're doing," she whispered. "Give me all the pleasure in the world."

Ed smirked and broke eye contact only for a moment so he could lean in and kiss her chest, over her shirt. Everything he'd normally do if they were naked, or at least close, he planned to do while they were clothed. He caressed her face and kissed her slowly, stopping his movements momentarily before she took his hand and moved it back to her clit, holding it there and grinding against it. "Close?" He saw her nod and smiled. "You want to grind on me, not just my hand?" He saw her nod and he kissed her neck, moving his hand and holding her hips as she started to grind into him. He heard her moan and he smiled. "That's it baby. I'm right here. I'm right here baby, let me catch you." He groaned as her hips moved into his.

She let her head fall back. "Ah!" She leaned forward and kissed him passionately as she continued grinding into him. She broke the kiss and whimpered. "Oh, Ed." She let out a sigh, feeling her orgasm take over her body. Her hips moved erratically as her orgasm tore through her. Her forehead rested on his as she finished, tears running down her face.

He felt a tear on his shoulder as she buried her face in his neck. "What's wrong?" He asked softly, rubbing her back.

Olivia shook her head. "I want to stop thinking about it," she whispered. "I want you to be able to throw me on the bed and fuck me senseless, without having to worry if you're triggering a flashback. I want to be able to make love to you without worrying about a flashback." She cried into her hands, feeling his hands rub her back. "I want to be normal," she said weakly, so softly she wasn't sure he would even hear it.

Ed kissed her temple. "Olivia, normal doesn't exist," he whispered. "Normal is a setting on the washing machine. Everyone has something Liv."

She looked at him. "You're normal," she said gently.

He shook his head. "Far from it, baby. I've just learned how to hide all the things wrong with me. And it's not healthy."

Olivia caressed his face. "Ed, you're here for me. Let me be here for you." She said gently, kissing him softly.

Ed pulled back and smiled. "That's just it, Liv. You are here for me. Any time you kiss me or touch me, everything bad melts away, and it's just us. It's like the bad stuff never happened. I know what I've been through doesn't come close to what you've been through, and that I'll never be able to take away the trauma of what happened to you," he kissed her lips softly. "But I want to be the one to make you feel better. I hope I do."

She wiped her eyes. "You do," she whispered. "Even if it's only for a brief moment, you make me feel better," she kissed him gently. "You're my rock, Ed. You're the only one who I know can handle my demons, who can quiet them."

He kissed her temple. "I love you, all of you."

 **A/N: There's chapter 50. Leave a review and let me know what you think, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay). And I have to check in. Do you want me to continue with _this_ story. Or would you like me to make a new story with Olivia, Ed, Noah, and Caroline? It wouldn't be me saying goodbye to these characters, it would be a continuation, kind of like the next book in a series. Let me know!! **


	51. Help Me

**So, I actually really like where this one wound up going. Enjoy it. Trigger warning for talk of hospitalization. Also, please don't come into my reviews of this story asking for updates on another one. I write what I feel inspired to write. I've been trying to update Pretty Woman lately and that inspiration just isn't there. Getting reviews in all caps to update it isn't going to bring on that inspiration and isn't going to get it updated any quicker. Enjoy this story and leave reviews for _THIS_ story. Leave a review on Pretty Woman about updating it. Or PM me. Thank you. **

It had been an exhausting week for both Ed and Olivia. Olivia had been dealing with flashbacks of things she couldn't fully recall, she was restless, and even being held did little to help soothe her. Olivia felt vulnerable and was jumping at the slightest unexpected noise or touch, and Ed felt useless, helpless, because he couldn't help his wife feel safe. The last time they'd been intimate was the night she remembered what happened. Olivia sat on their bed lotioning her body. She saw Ed come in and she kissed him gently. "I know this week has been rough," she said, rubbing the last bit of lotion into her arms. "I know it's been my fault and I'm sorry. I'm sorry you aren't sleeping well, I'm sorry I can't have sex, I'm just— I'm sorry."

Ed kissed her temple. "I just wish I could do more to help you," he whispered. "I don't care about sex, about sleep. I just want to make you feel safe."

She looked at him. "That's the thing, Ed. You do," she whispered and took his hand. "You've always made me feel safe. But what he did is so big, so awful, it caused such a seismic shift inside my soul that even being in your arms, even being wrapped in the safety of you isn't stopping the flashbacks. The panic. I need help, Ed. More help than you can give me, more help than I can even give myself." She felt her lip tremble. "And it scares the hell out of me." She looked down at the bed.

He lifted her chin. "Tell me what you need, Olivia."

Olivia met his eyes. "That's the scary part, Ed. I don't know." She broke down in sobs, feeling his arms around her. She sobbed so hard, she ran to the bathroom and threw up. She rinsed her mouth and walked back into bed, falling onto her pillow. "I'm scared," she whispered.

Ed wiped her eyes. "Call Lindstrom. First thing. Please," he begged her. "I can't lose you," he held her tightly and they both cried.

After an hour she fell into a fitful sleep in his arms. She woke up screaming and swinging her fists, accidentally hitting Ed, scurrying away and cowering in the corner of the room, rocking. "No, no, no, no. Please, no."

He got up and slowly walked over to her, the pain from her fist making contact with his cheek taking a backseat to ensuring Olivia was alright. He'd never seen her like this before, and it was scaring the hell out of him. She didn't look like Olivia. She reminded him of Smeagol from the Lord of the Rings movies. He knelt in front of her. "Liv," he spoke in a soft, soothing voice. "Liv, it's me."

Olivia shook her head. "No, no, don't touch me. Please. Please I'll do anything." She hugged her knees to her chest.

Ed stood up and got his phone. It was the middle of the night, but he didn't care, it was an emergency. He dialed and put the phone to his ear, keeping an eye on Olivia. "Dr. Lindstrom? Ed Tucker. Olivia's husband—" he took a deep breath. "She's bad, Doc. She woke up screaming, she hit me on accident and now she's cowering in the corner. I don't know what to do. I'm kind of freaked out." He listened and hung his head. "Yeah. Thanks." He hung up and knelt down again, trying to get this to stop so he didn't need to make the next call. "Liv, baby, look at me. It's me. It's Ed."

Her eyes were frantic. "He's gonna get me. He—" she let out a sob. "Help me." She cried.

He felt the tears well up in his own eyes. "Okay, I'm here. I'm right here. I just called Dr. Lindstrom. I told him what was going on. I need you to come back to me, baby. Otherwise he wants me to send you to the hospital."

Olivia looked at him and shook her head. "I—Help me."

Ed took her hand and she gasped. "Okay, Liv, I gotta call. I need to get you help. Okay?"

She looked at him and nodded, taking his hand, and squeezing. "Thank you," she whispered.

He stood up and called the ambulance to bring Olivia to Bellevue Psych and then he called his mom to stay with the kids. He sat with Olivia. His mom got there before the ambulance and Ed walked Olivia out to the living room. She clung to him. His eyes were filled with tears, fear was overwhelming him.

The ambulance arrived and Ed rode with them to the hospital, staying with her until they forced him to leave. They'd sedated Olivia, and he leaned in and kissed her forehead. He walked out to talk with the doctor, she'd be on a three day hold to get her stabilized and to make sure she wasn't a danger to herself or anyone else. Ed hailed a cab home and sat on the couch with a tumbler of bourbon. He didn't sleep that night. The image of Olivia cowering in the corner was one that would never leave his mind.

The kids woke up around seven and Noah asked where Olivia was. Ed fought the tears. He didn't know how to explain that Olivia's mental state had gotten so bad that she needed to be hospitalized. Olivia would know what to say. "No, last night, Mommy got really really upset. You remember how she told you a while ago that a really mean man hurt her and she was having some trouble dealing with it? That's what happened last night, usually I can pull her out of that place, but I couldn't last night, so she went to the hospital for a couple of days so they can help her."

Noah looked up at him. "Is she gonna die?"

Ed shook his head. "No, buddy. She's gonna be okay. She just needed more help than any of us could give her, and that's okay." His phone rang and he answered it. "Hello?"

Olivia's voice came over the ear piece. "Ed," she let out a breath. "I'm so sorry." She gripped the hospital issue robe she wore. "Some things are a little fuzzy, but I know if I'm here things must have gotten bad."

Ed took a deep breath. "Liv, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to have to bring you there. I couldn't bring you out of the nightmare. I tried. God, I tried. I'd never seen you like that before. It scared the hell out of me."

Olivia wiped her eyes, standing by the nurses station. "Did I hurt you?"

Ed's hand started to shake. "I have a bit of a bruise, but I'm fine, Liv."

Olivia let out a sob. "Oh, Ed. I'm so sorry," she whispered. She bit her lip. "I, uh— I have to go. Something about therapy." She twirled her hair around her finger. "Ed, I— I love you. And I'm so sorry I hurt you."

Ed swallowed hard. "I'm okay. Go, get better. I love you, and I miss you so much already. Noah and Caroline miss you and love you."

Olivia smiled a tearful smile. "Tell them I love them and give them a hug and kiss for me." She took a deep breath. "I miss you. I'll call when I can," she whispered and hung up, going to a group therapy session, followed by individual therapy, lunch, meds. The only thing they gave her was a journal and a pen. So she wrote. She wrote down every emotion, every thought. Metaphors flooded the pages. Page after page of prose and poetry.

Things remained like this for three days. She called Ed every chance she got and stayed on the phone with him as long as they would allow her to. She did get some sleep, but only because the new medications made her tired. She hadn't slept without Ed by her side in just about a year. On the third day, they gave her back the clothes she came in and she sat on her bed, writing, waiting for Ed. She saw him walk in and her face lit up with the first genuine smile she'd smiled in over a week. She launched herself out of bed and ran to his arms, wrapping her arms around him. "Oh, I've missed you," she whispered.

Ed held her tightly and kissed her temple. "I've missed you, too. The kids missed you." He cradled her face I his hands. "I love you more than life itself." He kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I couldn't bring you back after that nightmare."

Olivia shook her head. "No, you have nothing to apologize for. I hated being away from you and the kids, but they got me stable. I had a lot of time to work through this. I wrote— a lot." She smiled. "What happened was a culmination of the memory coming back up and me trying to push it down again and working so hard and trying to act like I was okay. I hit my breaking point." She kissed him softly. "I'm okay now. Take me home," she said gently. "Please."

Shortly after Olivia signed discharge papers and was given prescriptions so she could keep taking the meds that worked for her, they were back on the streets. They hailed a cab, filled her meds, and went home. He held the door for her as she walked in. Noah ran over to her and she knelt down and hugged him tight, kissing his forehead. "Are you feeling better, Mommy?"

Olivia nodded. "I am. I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye before Ieft. I was kinda scary, I didn't want to scare you, sweet boy. But I'm okay now. I promise."

Ed helped her stand up when she finished her conversation. "You want something to eat?"

She smiled. "As long as it's not hospital food," she kissed him gently. "I'm going to go put my meds away and freshen up. I feel gross." She kissed his cheek, gently running her fingers over his cheek. "I'm so, so sorry, Ed." She kissed his knuckles. "I just need fifteen minutes to take a quick shower."

He kissed her cheek. "I'll make you something to eat. Holler if you need me."

Olivia squeezed his hand. "I always need you." She smiled and walked into their bedroom, putting her meds away. The doctor sent her home with an antidepressant, something for anxiety, and a sleeping pill. She walked into the bathroom and disrobed, starting the shower she quickly washed her hair and her body, getting out of the shower. She heard Ed.

"I'm in the bedroom. I don't want to startle you."

She smiled and walked into their bedroom, wrapped in a towel. "Hey," she walked over to him and caressed his face, kissing him slowly. She pulled away and looked into his eyes. "I missed that." She ran her hands over his chest. "I'm sorry I hit you, and I'm sorry I scared you." She whispered. "And I know how hard it must have been for you to check me into the hospital. But, thank you," she whispered. "As much as I truly hated being away from my family, I know it helped me, and I know that's what I needed. Not the time away from my family part, the days of therapy, the medication monitoring, I needed that in order to get through that realization. Am I still going to have times that are hard? Sure, that's the nature of anxiety and PTSD. But I know what to do for next time. I have medication to help me if I really need it, and I have the most important thing now," she said. "I have the man I love who can wrap me in his arms," she whispered.

He caressed her face. "I'm so sorry I couldn't bring you out of it. I feel like I failed you. I didn't protect you."

Olivia searched his eyes. "Ed, this was my own head. This wasn't something outside. You didn't fail me, and you did protect me. You got me the help I needed. Stop beating yourself up." She kissed him gently. "Ed, I'm not broken."

Ed looked at her. "I know you're not," he whispered and kissed her passionately. He heard her moan and he ran his fingers over her exposed skin. She let her towel fall and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer. He broke the kiss and looked at her body. "You're beautiful," he whispered. "Mom's with the kids, so if we're really quiet," he whispered, kissing her neck.

She closed her eyes and let out a soft moan. "Mm." She felt his hands run over her body. "Ed," she whispered and worked on unbuttoning his pants, pulling his shirt over his head, pushing his pants down. She took her erection in her hand and gently stroked him.

He groaned, his fingers finding her clit, pushing inside of her, hearing her gasp. Ed wrapped his free hand around her waist. "You're so sexy," he whispered.

Olivia looked into his eyes. "Make love to me." She felt hip pick her up and she giggled and laid her on the bed. She looked up at him as he settled on top of her, kissing her passionately. She wrapped her arms around him,!running her palms over his back.

Ed broke the kiss and looked down at her. "You ready?" He saw her nod and he caressed her face and pushed into her they moth let out a moan. "You feel so perfect, Liv," he whispered. His hips started a slow rhythm into hers, thrusting inside of her.

She moaned and her hips met his, thrust for thrust. "Mm, Ed!" She gasped as their hips continued thrusting into each other's. "Oh, right there." She let out a moan, her back arched. "Yeah," she whispered and kissed him. Feeling her muscles start to contract around him. "I'm so close baby," she whispered, her lips next to his ear.

He groaned. "Come on, baby. I'm right there with you," he whispered, his hand moving between him, gently rubbing her clit, watching her mouth fall open, her muscles clenching around him, stilling him. He groaned and felt himself release inside of her. They both moaned. He thrust inside her a couple more times, slipping out of her, kissing her passionately, rolling them both to their sides. He broke the kiss and tucked her hair behind her ears. "I missed that so much. I missed hearing you moan, I missed making you orgasm."

Olivia smiled. "I missed it, too," she whispered, tracing shapes on his chest. "You know what I missed more?"

Ed caressed her face. "What's that?" He asked gently, their eyes meeting.

She took his hand in hers. "This. The after, laying in your arms," she nuzzled against him. "I missed the post coital bliss." She smiled and kissed him, letting out a gentle moan.

He wrapped his arms around her, hearing her stomach grumble. "I think someone's hungry." He chuckled.

Olivia smiled. "I was hungry for something else, first." She blushed. "But we should put clothes on and I should eat and spend some time with our kids."

Ed helped her up and she got dressed in leggings and a t-shirt and a hoodie. "You're beautiful," he whispered. He put his clothes on from earlier. Olivia threw her hair up in a bun, and they walked into the living room together.

Her mother in law came up to her and hugged her tight. "Thank God you're alright." She whispered.

Olivia hugged her mother-in-law back. "I'm okay. Ed did the right thing, taking me to the hospital. He got me the help I needed."

The older woman pulled away and smiled. "I'm glad you have each other."

Olivia smiled and saw her toddler standing at the table and she smiled. "My sweet girl," she whispered and saw her turn around and start to take steps towards her. "That's it, come to mama!" Caroline took four steps, enough to get to Olivia before she fell, into her mother's arms. "Mama is so proud of you!" She whispered, holding her daughter close. Ed sat on the couch, bringing her a sandwich.

Ed smiled. "It's not a gourmet meal, but it's something."

She shook her head, cradling her daughter. "It's perfect. Everything right now, in this moment, is perfect." She gave him a quick kiss on the lips, holding Caroline in her lap as she ate her sandwich.

This was perfect. This was all she needed.

 **A/N: Okay, so there's that. Tell me what you think. Leave a review ( _FOR THIS STORY_ ) here or on Twitter (couricshargitay). And I'll see you next chapter. **


	52. Canto V

**My characters are getting into fights all over the place. Pretty Woman was updated and there was a fight there, and well... you'll see. Read on.**

Olivia let out a soft cry of pleasure as she fell forward against Ed, her hips moving against him, coaxing him to release inside her. "Come on, Ed. Come in my pussy." She begged and made eye contact as she rode him harder, another orgasm coming on. "Baby, please."

Ed groaned and flipped them, lifting her leg up to rest on his shoulder, he moved harder and faster inside her, feeling her muscles contract around him. He groaned. "Ah yeah. Come on my cock, fuck." He thrust into her two more times before drilling and releasing inside her. "Jesus Christ."

She pulled him into a passionate kiss, their tongues meeting as Ed rolled them to their sides, his hands running over her body. She broke the kiss and smiled. "God, you're amazing." She caressed his face. "We're good at that." She chuckled, catching her breath.

He brushed her hair back. "You're amazing," He whispered and wrapped her in his arms. "And I love that I get to make you come undone."

Olivia smiled, running her hand over his chest. "Only you, baby." She kissed his chest. Feeling the blankets covering their bodies. "I'm going to fall asleep," she whispered. "I'm going to get so cozy and warm, and I'm going to fall asleep in your arms," She closed her eyes, feeling him rub her back.

Ed kissed her forehead. "So fall asleep," he whispered. "I'll be right here when you wake up."

She let out a small sigh of contentment. "I love you, Ed." She fell asleep within moments.

He held her tight and closed his eyes, falling asleep. He woke up with her lips on his, softly. He kissed her back and smiled at her. "What time is it?"

Olivia smiled. "Six AM. The kids are going to be up in about an hour and I wanted to kiss you for a little bit before they wake up." Olivia had been on a leave of absence since she went into the hospital. She'd been going to therapy a couple times a week, spending time with her family, and giving her brain a chance to heal from the emotional trauma.

Ed grinned and kissed her softly. "I like the way you think," he mumbled against her lips. He ran his hands down to her ass, pulling her closer. "I love your ass. It's so perfect."

She giggled and cradled his face in her hands. "You're perfect," she whispered. "You don't have all this baggage that pops up out of nowhere and even when I do," she smiled. "You're right there to help me," she whispered.

He kissed her gently. "I love all of you, Liv. Including the baggage. Because that baggage makes you the woman I fell in love with. That baggage helped shape you."

Olivia looked down. "For better or worse is yet to be seen."

Ed lifted her chin. "Hey, don't do that." He caressed her cheek. "You take on everything that's happened to you, and it's made you this incredible, compassionate, kind, loving human being. What you've been through sucks, I know, and I wish you never had to go through it. But—" He kissed her forehead. "It's the butterfly effect. If you take away one of those things that happened, something would change. If you had a better childhood maybe you never would have gotten into SVU. Maybe you never would have even gone to the academy. If you'd never have had an abortion you may not have gone to the academy, or you'd have put it off. You wouldn't have Noah." He squeezed her hand. "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Even if we don't immediately see it."

She looked at him. "There's that perfect thing again."

He smiled. "I'm not perfect, Liv. I'm just perfect for you. We're just perfect for each other."

Olivia smiled. "See, now I have to have my way with you," she kissed his lips and down his body, under the blankets. She took him in her mouth, running her lips over him.

Ed groaned. "Oh, Liv." He gripped her hair in his hand as she moved his lips over him, moaning. Feeling her lips at the base of his cock because she'd taken him fully into her mouth. "Shit," he let his head fall back. She let him go, licking up the underside of his cock, taking his balls in her mouth, her thumb pressing on his perineum. "God, I'm so fucking close."

She grinned and took his head back in her mouth, sucking softly. Kissing the tip. He pulled her up and she smiled. "You haven't finished yet," she said in a low, sultry voice.

He flipped them over and pushed inside her. Thrusting into her. She moaned and he kissed her neck. "Because I want you coming, too." He groaned and rubbed her clit. "You're so fucking sexy," he whispered.

Olivia moaned and arched her back. "Mm," feeling her orgasm build. "Just like that. Right there baby." She sighed. "Oh, Ed!"

Ed kissed her passionately, moving into her harder. "Ah, I'm gonna come. Come for me," he whispered in her ear. "Come on."

She let out a breath and came hard around him, feeling his release inside her. "Mm. Oh, God." She giggled. She kissed him. "Perfect start to the day." She cuddled up next to him. Within a few minutes she heard Caroline start to babble and heard a knock on their door. "We'll be right out sweet boy." She kissed his chest. "Right on time." She climbed over him and threw on panties, a pair of shorts, and a T-shirt. She watched Ed get up and put on boxers, sleep pants and a tight white shirt. She groaned. "You look so sexy," she whispered. She opened the door and saw Noah. "Hello, sweet boy." She hugged him. "How about you and daddy make breakfast and I go get Caroline up for the day?"

Ed smiled. "Come on bud. Let's get cooking."

Olivia walked in to get Caroline. "Hello sweet girl." She smiled and rocked her gently. "Did you sleep well?" She smiled. "Let's change that diaper, hmm?"

Caroline babbled. "Mamamamamama."

Olivia smiled and lay her on the changing table. She changed her diaper and put her sleeper back on her. "Let's go see Daddy and Noah."

"Da! Ooooo." Caroline smiled.

"That's right sweet girl." Olivia walked out to the kitchen and kissed Ed's cheek and the top of Noah's head. "You know, we have a couple birthdays coming up." She smiled and looked at Caroline. "Caroline's birthday is in two weeks, and Noah's is in a month. We'll have to plan some parties."

Ed walked over behind Olivia. "And Mommy's is right before Caroline's," he whispered.

Olivia raised her eyebrows. "It is, but Mommy neither wants nor needs anything for her birthday." She looked at him. "Just time with my family."

Ed kissed her neck gently. "But if Daddy were to get Mommy something—"

Olivia looked at him. "You've given me everything I've ever wanted already."

Noah looked at Olivia. "Mommy, your birthday is coming up? You need a party too!"

Olivia looked at Ed, then at Noah. "Sweetie, all Mommy wants for her birthday is to get to spend time with you, and Caroline, and Daddy. I don't need a big party."

Noah nodded. "If you're sure. But can I still make you a present at school?"

Olivia kissed his forehead. "Of course my love." She smiled. "We need a birthday list for you, sweet boy."

Noah nodded. "Okay! I'll put one together at free time at school today.

Olivia looked at the time. "You need to finish up breakfast so you can get to school." She kissed the top of his head, seeing him finish his pancakes. He got up and ran off to get dressed. Olivia took a piece of pancake with syrup on it, and fed it to Caroline to gum on it, feeding her breakfast as they spoke. Olivia looked at Ed. "We have a great little family."

Ed kissed her gently. "We do." He took Caroline from her arms. "Eat." He kissed her temple. "I'll play with little miss here until I have to bring Noah to school." He lightly tossed Caroline in the air, catching her, causing her to belly laugh.

Olivia ate her breakfast and watched Ed and Caroline interact. "I love you two." Noah came running out, and Olivia pulled him onto her lap. "And I love you." She kissed his cheek. "You all ready for school, my love?"

Noah nodded. "Yup!" He hugged Olivia. "Daddy, are you bringing me to school in your pjs!?"

Ed smiled. "I guess I should get dressed, huh?" He gave Caroline back to Olivia. "I'll be right out." He quickly got dressed and kissed the top of Caroline's head, kissing Olivia's lips softly. "I'll be back soon," he whispered.

She smiled. "Hurry home," she winked and looked down at Caroline. "Let's get you dressed for the day, huh pretty girl?" She kissed her forehead. She stood up and kissed Noah goodbye, kissing Ed once more before bringing Caroline into her nursery to change her into a pink onesie that said 'Forget Princess, You Can Call me Madame President' and a pair of leggings, putting her in her Moby wrap on the front of her body, wanting her daughter close to her as she walked around and cleaned up a little. She saw Ed come back in and she smiled. "Hello," She walked over to him and kissed him softly.

He kissed her gently. "You know she doesn't need to be in that, right? She's almost a year old."

Olivia smiled. "I know," she blushed. "I just want to hold her as close as possible for as long as I can. I want her to be little forever." She took Caroline out of the wrap and set her down in her playpen with some toys. She took the wrap off and wrapped her arms around Ed . "Now, for a proper welcome home," she smiled and kissed him slowly️, her tongue slipping past his lips as he gently swayed them.

Ed broke the kiss and smiled. "I want to run something by you."

She smiled. "Anything."

He took a deep breath. He knew it was a long shot, but he needed to ask. "Well, now that we have a camera, I was thinking, invite Rita over again."

Olivia bit her bottom lip. "Okay, I sense a but."

Ed ran his hands over her arms. "I, uh… I want to fuck her— while she sucks your clit. I— I want to be inside her."

She furrowed her brow and let out a sardonic chuckle. "You're kidding." When she didn't get a reply she took a step back. "You're serious?" She shook her head and rubbed her chin. "No. Mm-Mm." She looked at him. "How— how could you even ask me that? What's your thought process here? It wasn't enough to bring your ex into the bedroom, now you want to fuck her?"

He moved closer. "Liv— I just—"

Olivia cut him off. "You just what? Is my pussy boring you?"

Ed took a deep breath. "You know that's not true."

"Do I?!" She closed her eyes. "Why would you think that would be a good idea to suggest to me? I mean what, you— you want to invite Cassidy while we're at it so you can watch him fuck me?"

His eyes snapped towards her. "Absolutely not—"

Olivia took a step closer to him. "So why is it okay for you? Why do you think it's okay to bring your ex in here and have me watch you fuck her?" Their faces were less than an inch apart. "Hm? Why is it okay for you? Why do you get to tear my heart out like that?" She asked through gritted teeth.

Ed looked at her. "You're right. I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry." He reached to caress her face.

She jerked her head away. "Don't touch me." She shook her head and walked away, choosing to remove herself from the situation instead of risking saying something she'd regret.

He stood in their living room, sighing. "Damn it," he picked Caroline up and held her. "Daddy put his foot in his mouth. Yes he did."

Caroline looked up at him and babbled. "Da!" She hugged him and he closed his eyes.

Ed kissed the top of her head. "Daddy's here, baby girl. Daddy's here."

He sat on the couch with her and turned on sports, giving Olivia space. "Let's watch Phil Mickleson in this Pro-Am, huh?"

Olivia ran herself a bath, adding some bath salts and bubble bath, sinking into the warm water. Tears stung at her eyes, and she did her best not to let them fall. She looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. "What does she have that I don't?" She whispered to herself, sinking under the water and staying there for thirty seconds, coming back up and wiping the bubbles and water from her eyes. "He's my husband. Why am I jealous of a woman he used to sleep with?" She asked herself. Once the water cooled she drained the tub, rinsing the suds off her body in the shower. She wrapped herself in a towel and she walked into the bedroom seeing Ed. This was deja vu. She grabbed comfortable clothes out of the dresser, slipping into them and a hoodie and walked over to the bed, sitting down. "I'm angry."

Ed nodded. "You have every right to be."

She glared at him. "You're damn right I do." She ran her fingers through her wet hair. "What does she have that I don't?"

He looked at her. "Liv—"

Olivia shook her head. "No, you want your cock in her pussy so badly. What does she have that I don't? What am I not giving you? Do I not turn you on anymore? I don't make you come enough? What?"

Ed stood up and looked at her. "Damn it, will you let me talk!" He let out a breath. "I don't want my cock in her pussy, Olivia. Well— its— I want to watch her suck your clit while I fuck her. She doesn't like anal. Being inside her isn't what's going to get me off. Watching her get you off with her mouth, watching you writhe underneath her, Liv that's what is going to get me off." He sat next to her.

She looked at the ground. "You can still watch without being inside her, Ed." She looked up at him. "She can suck my clit and stroke your cock. Or I can, or I can take you into my mouth. But I don't want you inside of her. And I'm not going to apologize for that."

He moved closer. "Can I hold your hand?" He asked, holding his hand out for hers. It took her a moment but she intertwined their fingers. "Whatever you want." He pulled her into a tight embrace. "I'm so sorry, Liv. I'm so so sorry."

Olivia rested her head on his shoulder. "I forgive you," she whispered. "But— I'm not blameless in this either. I shouldn't have gotten in your face. I was mad and it was wrong of me."

Ed smiled. "If I didn't think you'd knee me in the balls and if our daughter wasn't in the play pen I'd have pushed you against the wall and we could have fucked the anger out," he chuckled.

She rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't have kneed you in the balls. I like your cock too much to risk any damage." She looked at him and nudged him. "Speaking of our daughter where is she?"

He smiled. "She fell asleep watching the ATT Pro-Am at Pebble Beach. I put her down in her crib."

Olivia smiled. "See, none of the women in this house like golf." She looked at him and kissed him quickly. "We're good?"

Ed nodded. "As long as you can forgive me, we're good."

 **A/N: Alright. 52 is in the books. Leave a review here or on Twitter (couricshargitay). I have a paper to write that's due in 2 days, so I won't be updating this or Pretty Woman until it's done. And Pretty Woman will likely come first, that chapter is already have written in my mind. See you soon!**


	53. Reconciliation

**I fell asleep before I could update this. And no, guest reviewer, he's not using her to get off and he does love her. There was a clue to all of this in the title of last chapter. Canto V. In Dante's _Inferno_ , Canto V brings us to the second circle of Hell. The lustful. Lust is something uniquely human. Plenty of married people lust after people other than their spouses, that's what fantasies are. I go into detail in this chapter. **

Olivia lay awake in Ed's arms. He had his eyes closed and she was staring off into space. She heard Caroline cry through the baby monitor and felt Ed stir. "I'll get her," Olivia said and got up, going to pick up Caroline. "Hello my precious girl." She rocked her daughter who babbled. Tears filled her eyes. "You know, I love Daddy so much. As much as I love you and your brother," tears filled her voice. "Right now, I can't help but wonder if he still loves me. I've put him through so much this past year. I'd understand if it was more than he could handle." She let out a sob. "It would tear me apart, but I'd understand if he didn't love me anymore." She wiped her eyes. "But I know he loves you so much. No matter what happens, he's always going to love you." She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes again, composing herself. "Let's go get Daddy." She walked into the bedroom with Caroline and saw Ed sitting up. She stopped in her tracks. He had tears running down his face, her eyes moved to the baby monitor. "You heard?"

Ed nodded and wiped his eyes. "Every word."

She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I forgot the monitor was on."

He got up and shook his head. "No, I'm sorry." He kissed her forehead. "God, I'm sorry," he kissed her again. "Olivia of course I still love you," he whispered and caressed her face. "I will always love you."

Olivia's lip trembled. "But I'm not enough for you?"

Ed took Caroline and put her in the middle of the bed, holding Olivia in his arms. "You are enough for me." He held her tight. "You're more than I could have asked for."

She looked up at him. "Then tell me why, Ed. Why did you—"

He cut her off. "Because I'm an idiot and I let lust take over," he said and looked down at the floor. "Because I'm human and I made a mistake that I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up to you." They cried in each other's arms. "How do I make this right, Liv?"

Olivia gripped his shirt. "Just love me. Please," she begged. "Love me, I need you, Ed. I'm a strong woman but I need someone to lean on. And I need that person to be you. You're the missing piece to my puzzle."

Ed held her tight. "I'm right here. And I will love you until my dying day, I swear."

She looked at him and crashed her lips into his. "You and me, Ed. You and me against the world."

He nodded. "I promised you that when I put this ring on your finger. I'll say it in front of everyone." He caressed her face. "I will do anything."

Olivia held his face in her hands. "No more Rita. Sexually, I'll never tell you that you can't be friends with her, or anyone. But sexually—" she shook her head. "I can't Ed. I know it's a fantasy of yours but I can't give that to you again. Not after what you said, what you asked earlier. Because this time I would be jealous. Because this time I wouldn't let her anywhere near you."

Ed wiped her eyes. "Of course. I never, never should have asked you that. I'm sorry."

She took a deep breath and looked over at Caroline who was sitting in the middle of their bed. She smiled. She picked Caroline up and held her close. "Sweet girl," she whispered.

He kissed the back of Caroline's head, then Olivia's lips. "Olivia," He whispered, seeing her eyes meet his. "I'm madly in love with you."

Olivia smiled. "I've been thinking," she shrugged. "Let's renew our vows. On our anniversary, in front of everyone. I don't want a big wedding, I don't want to spend thousands of dollars when we have a near million dollar mortgage to pay off." She looked into his eyes. "I still don't want to spend that much money. But I want to stand up in front of everyone, and shout from the rooftops just how much I love you."

Ed kissed her slowly. He heard her moan and he pulled away. "Sounds amazing." They smiled. "Liv—"

She covered his lips with her finger. "Stop talking about it. Please. I just—" She shook her head. "I need to stop talking about it. I know you're sorry. I know you love me." She took a deep breath. "I need to take my meds. Can you hold Caroline?" She gave Ed their daughter, and pulled out her pill organizer, putting her morning meds in her hand. She went to the kitchen and got a bottle of water, taking the pills and walking back to their bedroom. "Sorry." She kissed his cheek, down to his neck.

He smiled. "Don't apologize for taking care of yourself." He kissed her softly, Caroline putting his hand over his lips. "You don't want Daddy to kiss Mama?"

Caroline smiled and Ed and Olivia both kissed Caroline's cheeks at the same time. She shrieked and laughed. "Da! Mama!"

Olivia took her daughter and held her closely. "Oh, we're right here sweet girl."

Ed looked at Olivia. "You are a wonderful mother, Olivia." He kissed her temple. "I can't stop telling you how much I love you."

She smiled. "I don't want you to," she caressed his face. "And I never want you to stop showing me."

He smiled and kissed her temple. "Hold that thought." He ran to the living room and grabbed the pack and play and some toys and he brought it into the bedroom, taking Caroline and putting her in it. "I want to hold my wife," he whispered, seeing Caroline content to play with the toys in the playpen. "Let me hold you."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah."

Ed crawled into bed with her and held her tight. "I have to tell you this, but it doesn't change for a moment how I feel about you."

Her heart sank. "Just say it," she whispered.

He took a deep breath. "You were right. The last year has been filled with really hard things. For both of us. But where you were wrong is thinking that it was too much. That I don't love you anymore. The exact opposite is true." He caressed her face. "I love you even more. Every challenge we've faced has made us stronger. And maybe that's why I asked what I did, because I know how strong we are."

Olivia smiled and kissed his lips softly. "We are strong, Ed." She took his hand in hers. "But that doesn't mean I want to share you. It doesn't make me any less jealous." She kissed him again. "I try not to be. Jealous. It can be unhealthy in a relationship. But when it comes to you, the thought of another woman feeling you inside her." She shook her head. "Jealousy bubbles up inside me like the toxic sludge it is." She held him tight. "You're my husband, I'm supposed to be the one that satisfies you."

Ed smiled and kissed her slowly, running his hand over her side. "You do. And then some." He kissed her neck.

She giggled. "Ed, our daughter." She whispered. "The pack-n-play isn't solid. She can still see." She ran her hands over his chest. "Tonight." She bit her bottom lip. "We can make love all night if that's what you want. I know I want that."

He smiled and held her close to his chest. "I have a better idea," he whispered. "We make tonight date night. Have Lucy or mom watch the kids, we go out to dinner, dancing, the theater— I don't know, then spend the night in a hotel. I want to show you how much I love you, not just tell you. Let me treat you like the Queen you are tonight."

Olivia smiled. "You're not the biggest fan of the theater."

Ed caressed her face. "You love the theater. That's all I care about." He kissed her softly. "Tonight is about you. Okay?"

She smiled and held his face in her hands. "I love you, Ed Tucker." She kissed him gently. "You are the greatest husband anyone could ask for. Even if you say stupid things sometimes."

He kissed her forehead. "What show do you want to see?"

Olivia rested her head on his chest. "Waitress, Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, Phantom. I don't care, Ed. As long as I see it with you."

Ed smiled and kissed her neck gently. "How about I look to see what I can get seats for, for tonight. Good seats, not nosebleeds."

She smiled and kissed him gently. "You're too good to me."

He shook his head. "Just the opposite. I'm not good enough." He kissed her temple and looked on his phone. After a few minutes he spoke up. "Orchestra sears to Phantom of the Opera, tonight at 7pm. Right under the chandelier."

Olivia grinned. "Perfect." She kissed him gently. "I'm going to let you take care of the rest of the plans for tonight, I'm going to go actually shower, instead of just sitting in hot water." She kissed him again.

Ed sat up and stopped her for a minute, lifting her shirt up and running a finger over her tattoo. "Until the very end." He whispered, kissing her tattoo.

She felt tears well up in her eyes. "Until the very end," she whispered. She kissed him passionately, gripping his shirt. "Okay, for the rest of the night. Please, no talk of what you said. Just… just love me," she whispered.

He kissed her again. "I always do, Liv. Always."

Olivia smiled. "Let me go get ready," she whispered. "I want to look good for you."

Ed kissed her neck. "You always look good," he whispered.

She giggled and let out a soft moan. "Ed, Caroline," she whispered.

He stopped and kissed her lips softly. "I'm sorry."

Olivia smirked. "If she falls asleep, come join me," she whispered and grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer. "I'll take care of that," she smirked, her eyes traveling down his body to his hard cock, her eyes again lifting to meet his. "She didn't sleep for too long earlier, she may go down again." She winked and got up, walking to the bathroom.

Ed watched her walk, seeing her take her shirt off before she closed the bathroom door. He got up and picked Caroline up, holding her close, gently rocking her. "Hey baby girl," he said gently, seeing her eyes start to get heavy. Within minutes she was asleep, Ed always had that touch. He put her in her crib in her room before he ran into the bathroom, seeing Olivia standing there in her bra and panties. "My God, you're beautiful."

She smiled and bit her bottom lip, sauntering over to him. "And you, you are so sexy." She slipped her hands under his shirt and took it off over his head. "You're everything I've ever wanted," she whispered, her fingers running over his chest. Pushing his pants and boxers down, groaning at his length. "Take me in the shower," she whispered. "Show me how much you love me."

He caressed her face and kissed her passionately, hearing a soft moan fall from her lips. He took her bra off and pushed her panties down, lifting her onto the counter as he broke the kiss. "Stay up here," he whispered, give me two seconds." He turned on the water, making it hot. He picked her up so her legs wrapped around him, his cock rubbing on her clit as he walked into the shower with her. She moaned, feeling the cool tile against her back.

Olivia kissed him, feeling him push into her. Both broke the kiss and paused for a minute, staring in each other's eyes, before Ed started moving. Olivia moaned and arched her back. "My God," she kissed his neck. His hands breaded against the wall, using it as leverage to get as deep as he could inside her, his strokes powerful, but at a steady pace. Her moans got louder, more frequent, and she muffled them by biting his shoulder.

Ed groaned. "Oh, baby." He whispered in her ear. "You feel so good," he kissed her neck and chest, massaging her breasts, feeling her muscles start to contract around him. "Yeah, you like that?" He kissed back up to her lips, feeling her hips move into his. "Come on baby, that's it."

She let her head fall back, her back arching. "Oh, God! Ed!" She felt her orgasm take over. "Oh yeah. Come on baby. Please. Come for me." He brought her down and slipped out of her. "Ed."

He put his finger over her lips. "About you," he whispered. "Not about me getting off." He saw her nod. "I'm so ready. But this was me showing you how much I love you, not that you get me off."

Olivia smiled gently. "Ed," she said one more time. "I know that I'm here for more than getting you off. I know you love all of me. You love me always in all ways." She sat him on the bench. "Please, let me take care of you," she got on her knees in front of him. "Ed, I want to." Her hands ran over his thighs. "You know I love getting you off. It makes me feel sexy. Please."

Ed looked down at her and nodded, moving her hair back as she took the head of his cock into her mouth, looking up at him as she took more and more of him, inch by inch, into her mouth, until he was fully sheathed in her mouth. He groaned as she moved her lips over him. "Oh, yeah."

She moaned and moved slowly over him. She released him to take a breath and stroke him. "You like that baby? Hmm?" She heard him groan she smiled and took him back into her mouth completely, her lips running over him, feeling him grip her hair only egged her on. She moved quicker, taking him deeper.

He let his head fall back. "Ah, just like that." He felt her pull back and he met her eyes as she stroked him. "I'm so close." He felt her lips back around him and saw her eyes look up at him. "Ah, fuck!" He felt her move to gently suck just the head as he released in her mouth. She let him go when he finished, swallowing, kissing the tip as he pulled her up and kissed her, pulling her under the warm stream of water, caressing her body. "You're perfect," he whispered.

Olivia smiled. "Thank you," she whispered. "For letting me do that, for saying I'm perfect."

Ed held her hands in his, kissing her knuckles. "Olivia, you are the only one I want. The only one I want to make love to. The only one I want to hold, to kiss. The only one I want to laugh with, cry with. The only one I want to love. For the rest of my life."

She kissed him. "Right back at you."

 **A/N: Okay, now I REALLY wont be updating Desire or Pretty Woman until at the very least tomorrow. I DO have to write this paper. Like today. So, leave reviews.**


	54. For the First Time

**So I skipped date night, a couple of weeks ahead. Enjoy. I took a little bit of liberty with Noah's birthday and made it a bit later than it is (it's important birthstone wise).**

Olivia walked in the apartment from work, seeing balloons all over the apartment, the lights were low, candles were lit. "Hello?" She put her bag down and kicked off her shoes. "Anyone home?"

Ed walked out in a tux, a single, perfect, red rose in his hand. He walked over to her and kissed her lips softly, handing her the rose. "Happy birthday, my love."

The smile on her face was bright, her eyes illuminated by the candlelight. "You did all this?"

He nodded. "I had a little help." He smirked, hearing the kids walk out from Noah's room. Noah was dressed in a suit and Caroline was in a light pink dress. Noah held Caroline's hand, helping her walk. They walked over to Olivia and she crouched down and hugged them both.

"Oh, my babies," she whispered.

Noah smiled. "Happy birthday, Mommy."

Caroline smiled at her. "Ma, day!"

Olivia smiled and kissed their cheeks. "This is the best birthday I've ever had," she said and looked up at Ed. "I get to spend my evening with the best kids in the world, and the only man for me," she whispered. "How about I change into something a bit nicer before we continue?" She stood up and looked at Ed.

Ed smiled. "There's a dress on the bed for you, we have dinner staying warm in the oven, and cake for later, and a couple presents after cake." He leaned in and kissed her. "And some after the kids go to bed," he whispered in her ear.

Olivia smirked and kissed him softly. "I'll go change. I'll be right out." She smiled and walked into the bedroom, stopping in her tracks, seeing the way it was decorated to be romantic and sensual. She saw the dress on the bed and she changed. The dress was a light blue halter dress, studded with sparkles, and there were silver heels on the floor for her. She got dressed and walked out to the living room. Ed held out his arm and escorted her to the table. "This really is the best birthday ever."

Ed pulled the chair out at the head of the table and saw her sit. He put her dinner in front of her, braised short ribs over polenta with green beans. The kids each had chicken nuggets and fries and Ed had a plate of short ribs as well. He poured her a glass of wine before he sat next to her and smiled at her. "Now, my cooking skills aren't the best, so I did order from the restaurant down the street. I wanted dinner to be edible."

Olivia smiled at him. "All of your food is edible, but you did so much for me tonight, I'm glad you got some help." She squeezed his hand. They started eating and Olivia looked at him and blushed. She'd known for a long time just how much he loved her, but when he surprised her like this, it made her fall in love with him all over again.

After dinner, Ed cleared their plates and turned the lights out, carrying out a cake with lit candles and roused the kids to sing Happy Birthday. "Make a wish," he whispered.

Olivia closed her eyes for a moment before opening them and blowing out the candles. She looked at Ed and kissed him gently. "Thank you," she whispered.

Ed cut up the cake and gave everyone a piece, they all ate their cake and moved to the couch. Noah ran to his room and got the present he made for Olivia. He gave her the package he wrapped and smiled. "Careful Mommy!"

Olivia smiled and opened the gift, lavender and vanilla scented bath salts. "Oh, sweet boy this is wonderful!"

Noah smiled. "For when you take a bath. I know you have hard days sometimes and those days you just need to relax."

Olivia kissed his head. "Thank you sweet boy," she smiled and hugged him, seeing Ed give Caroline a box and watching her slowly walk over with it. "Oh sweet girl!" She kissed her head and took the box and opened it. It was a ring holder in the shape of Caroline's hand that she'd decorated. "This is beautiful." She kissed her temple. "Thank you both. I love them."

Ed stood up and handed her a small box. "One more before bedtime," he whispered. He watched as Olivia's hands trembled slightly, opening the box. Seeing a necklace with three charms hanging from it. One that was engraved with EO. One engraved with Noah and a garnet stone and one engraved with Caroline and a tanzanite stone. "You said all you wanted was your family," he whispered. "I couldn't not get you anything, so I got you your family on a necklace."

Olivia felt tears in her eyes and she nodded, a smile on her face. "It's perfect, Ed. I love it," she whispered and kissed his lips softly. "Put it on for me?"

Ed picked up the necklace and gingerly put it on her, kissing the back of her neck. He looked at her and smiled. "Beautiful." He kissed her again gently, pulling away and smiling. "Let me get the kids to bed," he whispered. "I'm thinking about a nice bath, some champagne, strawberries, chocolate sauce," He whispered.

Olivia smirked. "Hurry back, Captain," she purred in his ear. She watched him bring Caroline into her room to get changed for bed and she watched Noah go into his room to put on his PJs. She got up and walked around the living room. After a few minutes she saw Ed come out with Caroline and Noah ran out seconds later. "Oh, my babies," she pulled them in for a hug and kissed both of their cheeks. "I love you both so much. Thank you for giving me the best birthday ever and making me the happiest Mommy in the world." She watched Ed bring them into Noah's room, where she heard him reading them a story, tucking Noah in, then bringing Caroline into her room and tucking her in. She slowly walked over and waited outside Caroline's door, blowing out the candles as she went. When he came out she smiled and took his hand. "Thank you," she whispered. "You never cease to amaze me, Ed Tucker."

Ed kissed her gently. "Let me get the goodies for the bath," he whispered. "Why don't you go into the bathroom and I'll be right in, okay, beautiful?"

She smiled and nodded. "Okay," she walked into their bathroom and gasped, there were flower petals all over the bathroom. She heard Ed behind her and she turned to face him. "I don't deserve you, Ed."

He set everything down on the counter and wrapped her in his arms, kissing her. "I'm the one who doesn't deserve you," he whispered. He felt her fingers work to untie his bow tie, and unbutton his tux shirt. "I can't wait to get you in that tub."

Olivia smiled. "Likewise. I figured I'd get a jump start in getting you undressed, you have so many more things on than I do."

Ed smiled and caressed her face, kissing her with so much passion it took their breath away. He felt his jacket and shirt fall off his body and he untied the halter of her dress, slipping it off her hips and letting it fall to the floor. The next thing to go were his pants; he stepped out of them after he toed off his dress shoes and socks. He picked her up and set her on the other side of the counter, opposite the champagne, strawberries, and chocolate sauce. "I don't know how you get sexier and more beautiful every day," he whispered. "But my God, you do." He knelt before her and kissed her calves, taking her heels off. He kissed back to her lips and looked into her eyes. "Before we get in the tub," he whispered, taking her bra off, putting a little bit of chocolate syrup on her neck and chest.

She gasped and the coldness of the syrup, and then at the feel of his tongue on her skin. "Oh, Ed," she whispered, her back arching into him. She felt him start to suck her nipple, looking up at her. She let her head fall back, thumping against the mirror, her mouth open. "Ed, please," she begged. "I need you."

He pulled her closer, and kissed her lips slowly. He pulled her panties off her legs, feeling his boxer briefs fall to the floor. He pulled her hips closer to his, pushing inside of her. She moaned and gripped the back of his neck, feeling him start to move inside her. He broke the kiss and groaned. "Oh, Liv," he whispered in her ear.

Olivia wrapped her legs around him, feeling him pick her up, off the counter, and turn them around, pressing her back against the wall, continuing to thrust into her. Their hips met and she arched her back and moaned. "Mm, harder, Ed!"

Ed moved so he could bring her leg to rest on his shoulder, starting to pound into her harder, getting deeper in the new position. He heard her moan and kissed her chest, sucking her nipple, feeling her walls contract around him. "That's it, beautiful," he whispered, his hand resting next to her head. "Come for me, baby. Come all over."

She moaned and held him tighter. Her muscles clenching around him, stilling him. "Come with me, Ed," she whispered. Within moments her orgasm had fully taken over, feeling him release inside her. She let out a slow moan as the both came down. She opened her eyes and smiled. "Mm. You are going to have to help me get my leg off your shoulder," she giggled. I need to start stretching before we have sex."

He chuckled and helped her move her leg, only to see her almost immediately wince. "What's wrong?"

Olivia chuckled. "Charlie horse." She wrapped her arms around Ed. "Now, let's get in the bath." She smiled. "I want to have some champagne and be wrapped in your arms."

Ed started the water and poured them each some champagne, bringing the strawberries closer to the tub. Once the tub was full he climbed in before helping her in. He sat down and saw her sit in front of him leaning back against him. They clinked glasses and each took a sip of champagne. He kissed the back of her head. "Did you get everything you wanted for your birthday?"

She smiled and looked back at him. "And then some." She felt his arms circle around her. "Ed, tonight was incredible," she closed her eyes. "I couldn't have asked for anything more. Everything was perfect."

He smiled. "You're perfect," he whispered in her ear. "I still have something for you in the bedroom, but it can wait. Right now, I just need to hold you."

Olivia smiled and closed her eyes. "That's all I want right now." She took a sip of her champagne, taking a bite of a strawberry. She let out a gentle moan. "These are so good," she smiled. "Thank you. For giving me the best birthday I've ever had, even though I don't normally look forward to it. I never celebrated as a kid. Why would my mom celebrate the reminder of the night that ruined her life? Why would she celebrate me?" She shrugged. "I just always viewed it as a regular day, especially as a teenager. It was easier to ignore it than to constantly get let down. Today was the first time, ever, I enjoyed acknowledging my birthday."

Ed turned her head slightly and kissed her. "I'm glad," he whispered against her lips, running her hands over his side. "You deserve this all the time. Everyday."

She looked at him. "I'll take the incredible sex everyday. Everything else, Ed we'd be broke." She laughed. "But we always have incredible sex," she whispered before kissing him again, turning to straddle his lap, sipping more champagne before putting both their glasses on the ledge, her eyes once again darkened with desire.

He gripped her hips. "You're so fucking sexy." He kissed her neck, biting gently, hearing her moan. He watched her move, pulling herself up so he could push inside of her outside of the water. He knelt behind her and kissed her shoulder. "Tell me what you want," he whispered in her ear.

Olivia pushed her hips back, moaning. "Fuck me," she whispered. She felt him quickly push into her. She gasped and looked back at him, her mouth opening as her started pounding inside her, his hands gripping her hips and moving them with his. "Oh, Ed!" She bent forward, feeling his hand come down on her ass. "Oh, fuck yeah, baby."

Ed groaned as he pulled her hair, pulling her up. He rested his lips next to her ear. "That feel good? My thick, hard cock fucking your tight, wet pussy?" She moaned in response and closed her eyes, letting out a squeal as he started rubbing her clit. His other hand massaged her breast as he kept moving inside her. "Fuck, Liv."

She moaned and arched her back. "I'm so close, Ed," she whined and felt him move so with every thrust he stimulated her g-spot. She let out a shaky moan as she came hard around him. She moved so she could sit him on the ledge of the tub, against the wall. She took him fully into her mouth and moaned, her lips moving over him quickly.

He let out a moan and held her hair in his hand. "Oh yeah," he let his head rest on the wall, feeling her let him go, stroking him. "Oh, Liv."

Olivia smirked and kept eye contact with him. "Tell me," she said, her voice throatier than she'd intended. She took him back in her mouth, running tongue around him in a circle. She took him as deep as she could, never breaking eye contact.

Ed rested his hand on the edge of the tub, lifting his lips up. "Ah, yeah. Just like that. I'm so close baby."

She moaned and let him go, stroking him again. "I want to taste you. Come in my mouth baby," she whispered. She looked up at him, seeing him stroke himself. She smiled and opened her mouth just in time to catch every drop of his release. "Mm," she swallowed and stood up, realizing the water had started to cool. She helped him up and wrapped her arms around him. "Ed Tucker, I love you. More than I ever thought was possible. You've given me everything," she whispered. "Everything." She kissed him softly.

He kissed her back and caressed her face. "You made me a father, Liv. You've opened my heart, my mind. Ten years ago if you'd have told me that we'd be here, now, I'd tell you that there was no way I could be so lucky. I just want to treat you the way you deserve." He rubbed her back. "I want to help you fight your demons, any way I can."

Olivia smiled. "Come on, let's bring the champagne and such into the bedroom. I'm not done yet." She grinned.

Ed smirked. "Not done drinking?"

She shrugged. "Or— not done indulging my fantasies with the man of my dreams." She smiled.

 **A/N: So, that's chapter 54. I want to show each of the kids birthday parties, I'm still planning them in my head. I know Caroline's is going to be relatively small, since she's only 1. I have an idea for Noah's but I have to do some research. Anyway, leave a review here, or on Twitter (couricshargitay), and I'll see you over on Pretty Woman.**


	55. Growing Up

**Chapter 55 already, can you guys believe! Anyway, Caroline's birthday party (small, not too exciting, she's a year old) is in this chapter. Enjoy.**

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Olivia walked out of their bedroom, dressed in tight jeans and a pink flowy top. She saw Ed, dressed in dark wash jeans that hung low on his hips and a salmon colored polo. He was hanging up the streamers, his arms over his head, his shirt riding up. "Hey hot stuff."

Ed finished securing the streamers and turned around, pulling his shirt down. "My God, you're beautiful." He saw her blush. He walked over to her and looked into her eyes. "You get more and more beautiful by the day. And I fall more in more in love with you every single day. Because of how beautiful your soul is."

She smiled and wiped her eyes. "I love you, Ed. Even the times when you infuriate me, at the end of the day, I can't stay mad at you. Because I love you more than anything in the world. Because no other man has loved me the way you do." She ran her hands over his chest. "And the fights— it just means there's still something to fight for."

He kissed her softly. "I will always fight for you, Olivia. Always." He wrapped her in her arms. "I'm glad we haven't gotten into many fights over our relationship. I hate fighting with you."

Olivia smiled. "Likewise." She fixed his collar. "This color is perfect on you. Well, every color is perfect on you." She kissed his lips. "I can't believe our daughter is a year old already." She wrapped her arms around him. "I want her to stay little forever, Ed." She rested her head on his chest. "Same with Noah. I just don't want them to have to go through all the things they'll have to as an adult. As a teenager even. I don't want them to get their hearts broken."

Ed kissed her forehead. "I know. But heartbreak— Liv that's a part of life." He rubbed her back. "I don't want them to have to feel that pain either, but getting to watch them grow up, watch Noah turn into this loving caring young man and fall in love and have a family of his own, seeing Caroline be just as beautiful as her mommy, taking on the world with the fierceness and passion she learned from you. Liv I can't wait to see that."

She looked up at him. "I love how your mind works. I love that you look for the positive." She cradled his face and kissed him gently.

He held the back of her head as they kissed, feeling her fingers run under his shirt. "Easy," He whispered.

Olivia smiled. "Sorry, I'm just enamored by you," she pulled away and grinned. "But after the party, when everyone's in bed—" she pulled him closer by his hips. "All mine," she kissed him gently. "You turn me on with the smallest of kisses, baby."

Ed caressed her face. "What time is everyone getting here?"

She checked her watch. "We have a couple of hours. Why, what do you have up your sleeve, Captain?"

He grinned and let his hands slide down to her ass, gripping it. "Time for a quickie," he raised an eyebrow.

Olivia led him into the bedroom. "I really like the way you think," she kicked the door closed and felt his lips on hers. She groaned and unbuttoned his jeans, pushing them down, along with his boxers, taking him in her hand, stroking him. "Already so hard for me," she whispered.

Ed pulled her pants and panties down, turning her around, and pulling her hips back. "You want it rough?"

She moaned. "Mm, fuck me." She felt him push into her and she rested her head on the wall, feeling him move hard inside her. "Oh, yeah, baby." She moaned.

He grabbed her ass, spanking her. "You feel so fucking good," he pulled her hair back, hearing her moans as he kept moving inside of her. "Ah, fuck!" He rested his hand next to hers. "Oh, Jesus," He panted in her ear.

Olivia arched her back, thrusting back into him. "Fuck!" She gasped. "Oh my God baby," she moaned. "Just like that. Fuck me good." He reached around and rubbed her clit, moving harder and faster into her. "Yes!" She let out a high pitched moan.

Ed grinned. "Come on, sexy. I'm right behind you," he whispered in a husky voice into her ear.

She put her hand over his, gripping it as her orgasm took over. "Oh, Ed!" She felt his release and she moaned, both of them riding out their respective climaxes. "Oh God," she felt his hand on her back. "That was amazing, baby."

He kissed her back, her shoulders, and the back of her neck. "It's always amazing with you," he whispered. "Feel better?"

Olivia smiled. "About my babies growing up?" She turned around. "I'm never going to want them to grow up. I'm always going to want them to stay little." She shrugged. "But you've certainly helped me see it in a new light. And you took my mind off of it for a few minutes."

Ed smirked. "I was definitely talking about the fact that you told me I turn you on with a simple kiss, but I'm glad that I could take your mind off of it for a few minutes." He kissed her softly.

She blushed. "Oh, that." She smirked. "In that case, I definitely feel better." She kissed him again. "We should get redressed and finish setting up before people start getting here."

He ran his fingers over her thighs. "Who all is coming?"

Olivia smiled. "Your mom, Fin, Carisi, Rollins, and she's bringing Jesse and Billie, Lucy, who I believe is bringing her boyfriend. I invited Stone and Warner, but I haven't gotten a definitive response from them. Small, family and friends, but she's only one, and we don't send her to day care yet, because someone's always here. We'll be able to invite more kids once she's in preschool." She pulled her panties and pants back up, kissing him. "Put your pants on and come help me put out snacks," she whispered. She walked out of the bedroom and started putting snacks in bowls and cutting up some finger foods for them all to munch on and put juice boxes in the refrigerator, adding some water, soda, and alcoholic beverages to get them cold for their guests. She felt Ed's hands on her hips. "Hey," She said in a sultry voice.

Ed kissed the back of her head. "Everything looks amazing, Liv," he whispered.

She smiled and turned around and kissed his cheek. "Can you put the tablecloth on the table for me, baby?"

He smiled. "Anything for you," he put the table cloth on the table. And put the finishing touches on the decorations when there was a knock at the door. "I got it." He opened the door to see Rollins, the girls, and Sonny on the other end of the door. "Hey guys, come on in."

Shortly after, everyone arrived, including Stone and Melinda. They all mingled and snacked on the food Olivia put out, the adults had some drinks and the kids had juice. Olivia sat next to Ed and kissed him gently as they watched their friends and family. "We have an incredible family," she whispered.

Ed kissed the top of her head as they sat around and talked. They ordered pizza for dinner and then had cake. After they opened presents. Caroline got dolls and stuffed animals and books and, Olivia's favorite gift, a onesie that said 'My hero wears a badge and I call her Mommy.' Ed kissed her temple. "This party was perfect," he whispered.

She smiled. After presents were open people started to make their way out. Olivia gave Caroline a bath and tucked her in to bed. "Goodnight birthday girl," she whispered and walked out of her room, leaving her door open a crack, watching Ed carry Noah onto his room, changing the sleeping boy into pajamas then tucking him in. The adults quickly did some clean up, getting the dishes in the sink and the garbage in the garbage can. She walked into the bathroom off their bedroom and washed her hands and her face, stripping out of her clothes, leaving her in her bra and panties. She walked out to the bedroom and crawled next to him on the bed, kissing him. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," she whispered.

He ran his hands over her back as he kissed her again. "For what?"

Olivia smiled and straddled him. "Giving me the most perfect little girl in this whole big, stupid world. Loving me. Helping with the party. Being an all around incredible man whom I love with every fiber of my being." She grinned.

Ed caressed her face. "You did the hard work in giving us our daughter. You never have to thank me for loving you, or helping you when you need it, and I think we both know that I have my times when I'm not so incredible," he whispered. "But I love you, too. More than I ever thought it was possible for me to love any woman in my entire life." He held her close and pulled her in for another kiss, unhooking her bra and slipping it off her body, running his hands under her panties and gripping her ass.

She moaned and kissed his neck, her hips grinding into his, kissing to his head and letting out a breathy moan. "Oh, Ed," she held herself up with her hands, grinding against him hard. "Oh, yeah, baby." She felt his hands on her breasts and she moaned. "So good."

He gripped her hips and helped her hips move over him, seeing her sit back, her chest flushed. "Oh, God I'm gonna come Liv."

Olivia moaned and kept moving her hips, rubbing her clit through her panties, arching her back, moving so instead of grinding into his hips, she was using motions she'd use if she was riding him, moving up and down over him, her clit hitting him on every downward thrusts "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" She leaned in and whined. She felt his fingers push inside of her, her mouth fell open. "Oh, Ed. Mm, make me come baby. Oh, God, More!" She felt him push a third finger inside her and she stilled, massaging her breasts, her walls contracted around his fingers. "Ed!" She moaned softly. She rode out her orgasm and fell on top of him. "Oh, baby." She smiled, her hips jerking, feeling that he was still hard. She looked at him with darkened eyes, kissing down his body, pulling his boxers off, discarding them, licking her lips when she saw him, taking him into her mouth. "Mm." She played with his balls and took him fully into her mouth, as deep as she could.

He gripped her hair, seeing her eyes meet his. "Ah, shit!" He bucked his hips into her face as she moved over him, letting him go and stroking him. "You're gonna make me come, Liv." She never broke eye contact, licking the tip of his cock, before taking him back into her mouth and sucking softly. "Liv!" He released in her mouth.

Olivia swallowed every drop, looking up at him and smiling, licking her lips, kissing up to his lips, "So fucking good." She kissed him and climbed off of him, taking her panties off and cuddling up next to him. "I love you," she whispered. "My God, Ed, I love you so much." She kissed his chest. "You've given me everything I've ever wanted. Everything, Ed. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world."

Ed caressed her face, wrapping blankets around them and holding her close. "I love you, Olivia. I can't even explain to you how much. The words don't exist." He wrapped her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. Within moments both had fallen into a sound, peaceful sleep

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 **A/N: Alright, another chapter in the books. I have Noah's birthday kind of planned out, but we may have to make believe in some parts of it, because I can't find anywhere in Manhattan that throws these kinds of parties. Anyway, leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay), and I'll see you next chapter. Pretty Woman is updating in like 5 minutes.**


	56. Cool Pool Party

**Sorry this took so long, I needed to get that storyline on Pretty Woman out. I couldn't concentrate. But here's 56.**

Olivia walked into the swim school with Ed and the kids, setting up for Noah's party. He wanted a pool party. It took them a little bit of time to find somewhere to have this party in the middle of January, but they finally found a place, and Noah was excited to get to spend time swimming, with a puddle jumper, with his friends. They also made sure parents were allowed in the pool at this party, because while Olivia didn't doubt that the lifeguards hired were well trained, she wanted to be in the water to protect her babies. Ed was happy because not only was Noah happy, but it also meant he got to see Olivia in a bathing suit, which was a pretty rare occurrence. She put the cupcakes down in the small party room they had set up off the pool deck, setting Caroline down. They had a half an hour to decorate and get kids and themselves in bathing suits. She did a bit of decorating and walked over to Ed. "I'm going to go change into my bathing suit, and get Caroline in hers, can you finish up in here," she asked with a smirk.

Ed wrapped her in his arms and kissed her gently. "You bet," he watched her as she grabbed their bag and walked into the locker room.

She put on her one piece black suit, along with her cover up, before changing Caroline into her pink one piece that had a tutu on it. "You ready to go in the pool sweet girl?"

Caroline smiled. "Ool!"

Olivia smiled. "Pool!" She kissed her daughter's forehead. "Let's go let Daddy and Noah get ready." She walked back into the party room, seeing Ed had finished the decorating. "Go get changed, bring Noah," she whispered and kissed him gently.

Ed looked at her and smirked. "You got it." He kissed her again and she giggled, opening the different trays of food they brought. He brought Noah into the bathroom and both changed into their bathing suits, Noah wearing a rash guard along with his trunks, Ed just in swim trunks that hung just right on his hips. They walked back into the party room, Olivia's eyes running over Ed's body. She smirked and bit her bottom lip. They sat in the party room and waited for their guests to arrive. About ten kids came and after being read the rules by the lifeguards, they all climbed in the pool. Olivia handed Caroline to Ed and took her cover up off, showing off her physique. Her back arched as she put her hair up in a messy bun. Ed's eyes were glued to her. He passed Caroline back to her and whispered in her ear. "You look so sexy," he kissed behind her ear.

She smiled. "Down boy," she whispered, walking down the steps, into the warm pool with Caroline on her hip, followed by Ed. They let the kids play and they floated Caroline back and forth to one another while they stole kisses.

Noah swam over to them. "This is so cool! It's winter and we're swimming!"

Olivia smiled. "It is cool, sweet boy. They give swim lessons here, do you want to take some lessons? Maybe we can get Caroline to learn to swim too."

Noah smiled. "Really? Can we Mommy?"

She smiled and kissed his head. "You bet, sweetheart." She watched him swim off to his friends. Olivia looked at Ed. "Can you hold the baby real quick. It feels wrong to be in a pool and not be under the water at all." She handed Caroline to Ed then surface dove under the water and swam along the bottom of the pool to the other side in one breath. She popped up at the wall and did the same back, popping up directly in front of Ed and she smiled. "Thanks," she whispered, kissing him chastely.

He smiled. "You don't swim enough do you?"

Olivia shrugged. "I wouldn't mind swimming more. I miss it sometimes, my senior year of high school I was in the pool just about everyday."

Ed held Olivia with his free hand. "You getting across the pool on one breath. So impressive."

She laughed. "Two things, this isn't an Olympic sized pool, and, she leaned in and whispered. "I have really strong legs," she kissed his cheek and took Caroline back. Her eyes scanning the water, seeing on of Noah's friends look as though he was struggling. "Ed, take the baby." She gave Caroline back to her husband and quickly swam over to the boy, Tyler, and pulled him, on his back, to the wall. "You okay, honey?"

Tyler nodded. "I'm okay. Thank you Mrs. Tucker."

Olivia smiled. "No problem. She swam back over to Ed. "We may need to find a different swim school for the kids. These lifeguards aren't attentive enough." She whispered. "A lifeguard should have caught that." She kissed his lips gently, instantly calming her pounding heart. She looked at the clock. "We only have—"

A lifeguard shouted out "TEN MINUTES", parents started pulling their kids out of the pool to get them changed.

Ed kissed Olivia gently. "I'm going to get Noah changed and put on dry clothes. You want to change Caroline and get dry?"

She smiled. "As dry as I can," she whispered and winking as she walked out of the pool with Caroline. She got them both changed and walked into the party room, letting the kids eat some real food before they all had cupcakes. Once the party was over, they helped clean up and loaded the presents into the car, getting the kids situated.

He held Olivia's hips from behind before they got in the car. "I think the kids may need a bit of a nap when we get home, and daddy needs some private time with mommy."

Olivia smiled. "I think we'll get away with that once Noah opens his presents." She kissed him quickly. "The quicker we get home, the quicker Noah will open his presents and the quicker they'll go down for a nap. Which means the quicker we can have our private time."

Ed kissed the back of her head. "Good point." He moved to the driver's side and once Olivia was in the car he drove home. Olivia got the kids inside and Ed brought in the presents. They sat around in a circle in the living room and Olivia wrote down what everyone got Noah for thank you cards. Everything from blocks, art sets, cars, and science kits to gift cards. Once he'd opened everything he yawned and the adults put the kids down for naps. Ed pulled Olivia into the master bedroom and locked the door. "That bathing suit," he whispered, pulling her close and kissing her passionately.

She smiled and kissed back, feeling him walk her back against the wall, raising her arms and lifting her shirt over her head. She broke the kiss. "Me? You had me so turned on, your trunks hanging low on your hips, your abs so ripped," she grinned. "I was transported back to our honeymoon," she smiled. "Now, are we going to continue to talk about how good the other looked in their suit or are you going to fuck me?"

He kissed her and each started to undress the other. He moaned, looking over her body. He picked her up and laid her on the bed, putting both legs over his shoulders as he pushed inside her moaning. He heard her moan and he gripped onto the headboard, giving him leverage as he started to fuck her. Her back arched and she moaned. "Yeah, you like that?" He asked in a husky voice.

Olivia moved one of her legs, pulling him in for a kiss. "Oh, yes, yes, yes!" She gasped and looked into his eyes, her breath heavy. "Ed!"

Ed smirked and reached between them, rubbing her clit, her muscles starting to milk him. "That's it, baby. Come on, Liv." He groaned. "Oh, yeah." Her moans got louder as her orgasm took over. "You want me to come in your pussy?" He whispered.

She moaned, her eyes rolling back, her back arching, her muscles clamping around him, feeling him release inside her. He never used the word 'pussy' so when he did, it drove her wild, turning her on like crazy. "Baby!" She moaned as he brought them both down. She kissed him and smiled. "Oh, Ed."

He smirked and kissed her neck and chest. "Feel better?"

Olivia smiled and let her other leg fall. "Oh that felt so good," she whispered. She ran her hands over his chest and smiled. "The party was fun."

Ed held her. "Thanks to you getting Tyler to safety, it stayed fun and didn't turn tragic."

She looked at him. "That's why I'm glad we were allowed into the pool. Those guards weren't paying attention. And what were they, fourteen, maybe fifteen?" She shook her head. "We'll find a different swim school for the kids to learn at."

He kissed her gently. "You're a good mom, an incredible cop, and as we learned today, a damn good lifeguard."

Olivia laughed into the kiss. "I just reacted. Maybe he was just fooling around, but he really looked like he was struggling." She shrugged. "I didn't want anyone getting hurt. I grew up barely around the water. I didn't get into swimming until high school, and it wasn't until senior year that I was actually really good. I worked my ass off to make varsity, I got really good at the strokes, and even my worst stroke was better than some of the other kids' best. I got a scholarship for swimming out in California, and I was so close to going, but I got a better offer from Siena. Plus it didn't cost me hundreds of dollars to move across the country."

Ed rolled off of her and held her close. "What was your stroke?"

She smiled. "I mainly did individual medleys, but I loved freestyle and breaststroke. My worst stroke was butterfly. Shockingly, my body doesn't move that way. In water anyway," she smirked.

He smiled and ran his hands over her body. "The water must offer some resistance because I know you move like that in the bedroom."

Olivia smiled. "Maybe I get self conscious moving in a way I associate with sex in public. I still wasn't the worst at it, but it definitely wasn't my best. My strong legs came in handy for freestyle and breaststroke." She smirked.

Ed ran his hands over her thighs. "Your legs are my favorite," he whispered. "They're so long, so sexy. So beautiful. I love it when you wrap them around me," he whispered.

She blushed. "I love when you put one or both over your shoulder when you're on top of me. Inside of me," she bit her bottom lip. "I love how much you love my legs. My whole body," she whispered.

He kissed her gently. "Your skin is so soft," he whispered. "Your legs lead to your perfect, perfect ass," he whispered. "Your perfectly arched back, your beautifully tousled hair, your deep, soulful eyes, your cute nose, your pouty lips, your long neck, perfect breasts, your toned abs." He kissed her lips and pulled her closer. "Everything about you is so beautiful."

Olivia looked into his eyes. "Kiss me," she whispered, caressing his face. "And don't stop. Not until one of the kids interrupts us."

Ed leaned in and kissed her softly, slowly. He climbed on top of her, settling between her legs. He felt her legs around him and he ran his hand over her thigh. She moaned and opened her mouth to him so their kiss could deepen and intensify. "Can I touch you," he asked in a whisper against her lips.

She moaned. "Yes," she whispered, moaning when she felt his fingers lightly stroke her clit, dipping his fingers inside her. She arched her back, grinding into his hand. She groaned as he slowly moved his fingers in and out of her.

He groaned, his fingers curling up to meet her g-spot, hearing her gasp. "Come for me," he whispered. "Let go."

Olivia held his face in her hands and moaned as her orgasm took over her body again, she broke the kiss and moaned. "Ed!" She panted and looked into his eyes, tears welling up in her own eyes. "You make me feel so beautiful."

 **A/N: Alright. Next chapter we're going to get to the vow renewal. And then A LOT of smut. Leave reviews, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay). See you soon!**


	57. Then, Now, Forever

**Vow renewal! Enjoy.**

Olivia stood in the bridal suite in a floor length, form fitting, cream gown. Her hair was swept up in low chignon, a few pieces curled to frame her face, a white gardenia pinned just above her ear. Light makeup was done and she had butterflies in her stomach. She looked in the mirror and smiled, she turned and saw Rollins come in, wearing a light pink, tea length dress. "Ready?"

Olivia nodded. "Yeah. Let's do this." She grabbed her bouquet and Amanda smiled, walking out of the suite and giving the signal that they were ready. Rollins walked down the aisle with Caroline, bringing her forward, followed by Noah with their anniversary rings. Once he was at the end of the aisle by Ed, the music changed to Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran. Olivia walked slowly, her eyes meeting Ed's, before the looked at the floor,a blush rising on her face. She got to the end of the aisle and she handed her bouquet to Amanda, holding Ed's hands, looking into his eyes, tears in her own.

Ed ran his thumbs over the back of her hands, and he mouthed to her. 'I love you.'

She smiled and let their officiant, Judge Barth take the lead. They didn't technically need one for a vow renewal, but it seemed right. The judge invited Olivia to start the vows. She nodded. "Ed, this past year, hell, the past two years have been the hardest but also the best of my entire life. The one thing that's been a constant are you and our kids. You and Noah got me through my pregnancy when it was hard, and scary. You saved my life, you took a bullet for me. You got me the help I desperately needed when I hit my breaking point. We may have had our fights, but that just means there's still something worth fighting for." She wiped her eyes. "Ed Tucker, you have given me the world, the stars and the moon, and everything I ever wanted and I can't believe that I get to stand here before all of our family and friends and tell you how much I still love you, and how everyday I fall more and more in love with you. I never thought it was possible to love someone who wasn't my child this much." She kissed his knuckles. "I love you."

He smiled and cleared her throat. "I'm terrible at words, well, emotional ones. Always have been." He looked down at their hands, before bringing them back up to meet hers. "This year has had no shortage of tests on our relationship. Between the shooting, the crazy that led up to it, the fights, you being hospitalized, but we survived every single one of them and our relationship only got stronger. I haven't been the best husband this year, there were times I was selfish, I was thinking with the wrong head, and that hurt you. I will never forgive myself for causing you that emotional distress. And I will work everyday to show you just how much I love you, how much I will always love you." He caressed her face. "To the moon and back, baby."

Judge Barth had them put their anniversary rings on and she smiled. "I now pronounce you, still husband and wife. You can kiss your bride." Ed pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her, looking deep into her eyes before kissing her passionately, slowly. He held it as long as he could, through the applause. He pulled away and they smiled at each other.

Olivia smiled. "Before we move on to the reception, while we have you all here, and Judge Barth, there's something else that needs to happen. Noah, sweetie," she ushered him over and she got on her knees. "I know you wonder about your first Daddy, who helped make you. I think you're still a little young for me to explain everything, but I think it's time that we make it official, for Daddy to officially be your daddy. Hmm?"

Noah nodded. "How do we do that?"

She smiled. "Well, my friend here, Judge Barth has some papers for Daddy to sign. And then on your birth certificate, his name will be in the space that says Father." She looked up at Ed. "It's time," she picked Noah up and watched Ed sign the last piece of paperwork. Olivia kissed his cheek. "Noah Porter Tucker," she whispered.

Noah looked at his mother. "I'm a Tucker now?"

Olivia smiled. "We all are now, my love. We all are." She looked at Ed and kissed him softly, he took Caroline from his mom and they stood in front of their friends, a complete family. Ed and Olivia got pictures taken while their guests enjoyed cocktails. Ed kissed her lips gently and she smiled. "I love you, Ed Tucker. So much," she whispered. After about an hour of taking pictures they moved into the bridal suite, waiting to be announced. She sat next to him as they kissed passionately, his hand slipping under her dress, running over her thigh. She broke the kiss and smiled. "They're going to call us out any minute and I can't be in lingerie." She giggled and felt his hand graze her clit. She gasped and smiled. "You're bad."

Ed smiled and stood up, holding his hand out for her. She took his hand and he pulled her up. "I'll behave until we get to the hotel," he whispered. "Then I'm going to make you scream."

She moaned softly. "I can't wait," she fed him some of the appetizers set around the suite. "But you always make me scream," she whispered. "You give me earth shattering orgasms, and make me feel so fucking good baby," she whispered. She kissed him softly. "One second." She walked to the door, poking her head out, seeing Amanda. "Stall for ten more minutes," she whispered. She saw her nod and she closed and locked the door, pushing Ed onto the couch, kissing him passionately. "You're so sexy." She got on her knees, undoing his pants, pulling them down enough to free his erection, stroking him. "So fucking hard," she whispered. She ran her tongue over him. "Don't ruin my hair, and I'll make you come."

He groaned and nodded. He felt her lick the tip sucking softly, before inching her lips over him, taking him fully into her mouth. "Oh, Liv."

Olivia met his eyes, running her lips over him, sucking gently. She moaned, maintaining eye contact. She let him go and stroked him. "Come on baby. Come in my mouth."

Ed looked down at her and he groaned, his hips thrusting up. "Ah, fuck!" He grunted and felt her lips around him once more, releasing into her mouth. She swallowed and kissed back up to his lips. "You're so sexy," he whispered and kissed her neck.

She moaned and smiled. "Mm, let me go touch up my lipstick and we can go dance and enjoy some time with our friends and family, and then we'll go to the hotel." She leaned in and whispered in his ear. "And get naked," she kissed his lips deeply, pulling away gently. "Fix your pants," she whispered, getting up and moving to the vanity, fixing her makeup, making sure her lipstick wasn't smeared all over her face. She saw Ed come up behind her and she turned to face him, taking one of her makeup wipes. "You have red lipstick all over your mouth and face." She wiped it clean. "Perfect."

He kissed her forehead. "Come on, let's go dance and mingle so I can get you back to the hotel and get you naked." He took her hand and they walked out together. His hand rested on the small of her back. Within minutes they were announced and Ed had her in his arms and they were dancing to 'Can't Help Falling in Love', Ed softly singing the words to her.

After their first dance, the reception seemed like it went by so quickly. Except for one moment, when Rita walked up to them. Olivia wrapped her arm around Ed and gave a polite smile. "I'm so happy for the two of you."

Olivia's smile was tense. "Thank you for coming, Rita."

Rita furrowed her brow. "Liv, what's wrong?"

Olivia shook her head. "Why would anything be wrong?"

Ed held Olivia closer to her body. "Rita, what happened a few months ago, it's— it won't be happening again."

Rita took a deep breath. "I see. I thought we all had fun?"

Ed nodded. "We did. But I'm an idiot and let my lust get in the way. If we were to do it again, Olivia wouldn't enjoy herself. She comes first, Rita."

Rita nodded. "Fair enough. I'm sorry."

Olivia shook her head. "I promise, it wasn't you." She held out her hand and they shook hands before Rita walked away. She turned and looked at Ed. "I love you," she whispered. "So fucking much." She felt a tap on her shoulder and she turned, her face going white. "Kathy."

Kathy gave her a small smile. "I just— I wanted to congratulate you two, and apologize for what Elliot did."

Olivia smiled gently. "You didn't shoot my husband, Kathy."

Kathy nodded. "I know. I just—" she shrugged. "I should have seen it coming and given you a heads up. He was put on meds after Jenna, and he went off them. I didn't realize how far he slid."

Olivia hugged her. "Thank you, that means a lot. And thank you for coming. I know we weren't always close, but it's nice to see an old friend." She watched Kathy walk away. She turned to Ed and smiled, wrapping her arms around him.

Ed kissed her softly. Dinner was served, followed soon after by cake and fireworks. Once the show was over, Olivia and Ed said their goodbyes and took the limo to their hotel. Once in the room, their lips were like magnets, attaching to each other. He gripped her hips and moved his hips into hers. "I want you so bad, baby. This dress," he whispered. "I want it off, and I want to be buried deep inside you as I make slow, passionate, languid love to you."

She smiled and pulled the dress over her head, taking the flower out of her hair, letting her hair fall down around her shoulders, her eyes meeting his. "I'm all yours, Ed. Forever."

He picked her up and brought her to the bed, laying on his back, her legs in the air as he slipped her panties off. "Mm, you got a taste earlier. Now, it's my turn." He slowly took her shoes off and spread her legs, licking up her slit, already dripping wet for him. She moaned, and squealed when he pushed his tongue inside of her, rubbing her clit.

Olivia held his head, grinding into his face. "Oh, fuck!" She gasped. She felt his fingers replace his tongue and his lips wrap around her clit, sucking. "Yeah, baby. Don't stop! Just like that." She arched her back. "Ooh, fuck me!" She begged, her orgasm building inside of her. "Oh, yeah." She felt her orgasm take over. "Ed! Oh baby!" She cried out and rode her orgasm out before he kissed up her body. She kissed him passionately and flipped them, taking her bra off.

Ed looked at her, holding her hips. He groaned as she started undressing him. She got him naked and leaned over him. "I want you so bad, baby. I want to be buried inside you."

She smirked. "Yeah?" Her hips started to grind into him. "Oh," she moaned and arched her back. "You want me to ride you? Bounce on your cock?" She let out a moan. "Fuck, I'm still so wet for you baby, just tell me what you want."

He ran his hands over her back, coming to massage her breasts. "Ride me baby. Ride me hard," he said, his throat dry. He watched her move and sink down onto him. "Oh, God!"

Olivia gasped and leaned back, her hands resting on her thighs, moving up and down over him. "Fuck!" She cried out, feeling his thumb on her clit. "Yeah, rub my clit." She fell forward and changed directions of her hips, rocking them into his, her clit hitting his hand and she moaned. "Oh fuck!" She felt his other hand hold her hip as he thrusted up into her. She moaned and started to milk him.

Ed groaned. "That's it baby, come on my cock." He moaned as she came hard around him, and he released inside her. "Ah, fuck yeah baby." He brought them down and Olivia moaned falling on top of him. "So good," he whispered. "So fucking good."

She smiled and closed her eyes. She kissed his chest, over his heart. "You make me feel so good," she whispered. She felt his hand come down on her ass. She gasped. "Did you just spank me?" She smiled and leaned in, kissing him. "Have I been a naughty girl?" She asked, in a whisper against his lips.

He grinned and kissed her slowly. "You tell me. How naughty are you? Is a light spanking enough or do you need more of a punishment?"

Olivia smiled. "Oh, I'm so naughty," she whispered. "What are you going to do to punish me?"

Ed grinned, pulling her closer. "I'm going to edge you like crazy," he whispered. "Get you so ready to come, then back off. And the last time, right before you come, I'm going to fuck your ass," he whispered. She moaned. "That what you want?"

 **A/N: Next chapter is all smut. I think we are coming to the end of this story, _but I'll be starting a new story, a little bit of time passing, with all the same characters_. But Pretty Woman is still going strong. Leave a review here or on Twitter (couricshargitay)**


	58. Only You

**And here's that purely smut Desire I promised before I went all in on the Pretty Woman updates. 2 more chapters of Desire before we conclude. Anyway, enjoy.**

Olivia was on her back, Ed holding her hands over her head with one hand, his other hand teasing her pussy with his fingers as she writhed beneath him. "Ed please!" She begged. "God I'm so close." And just like that he stopped. "Goddamn it, Ed!" She arched her back.

Ed smirked and stroked himself, watching her he rubbed the head of his cock against her pussy and heard her moan. He stopped. "You want to come baby?" He rolled her into her stomach and spanked her ass. "You want me to fuck your ass? Finger your pussy? Get you to squirt all over?"

She moaned and got on her hands and knees. "Let me come, fuck me baby."

He smiled and started licking her pussy from behind, hearing her moan. Once she was ready to come he stopped. "I need to get the lube and a towel."

Olivia groaned. "You didn't have the fucking lube or a goddamned towel before you started this?" She let her head fall onto the bed. "Fuck."

Ed smirked and was up, getting the towel and the lube before returning to the bed. "Come 'ere." He pulled her hips back so she was standing on the floor. He poured some lube over her ass and put some on his cock, pushing inside her ass. They both moaned. "Fuck, Liv."

She moaned and gripped the sheets. "Ed! Baby move. Fuck me!" She begged, feeling him start to pound inside of her. "Yeah! Fuck!" She felt him pull her hair, and felt her reach around and push his fingers in her pussy. Her eyes rolled back in her head, her hips moving with his. Her body was in overdrive. Her moans were just sounds. She squealed and felt him lift one of her legs onto the bed and her moans got louder.

He felt her muscles start to contract around him and she cried out as she felt her orgasm take over. He smirked. "That's it baby. Come on, oh yeah, let it all out baby."

Olivia gasped as she felt her orgasm exploding out of her in torrents, he rubbed her clit as she came, feeling him release inside her. Once they finished Olivia fell forward onto the bed, panting. "Oh."

Ed smirked and put the towel on the floor, cleaning up her release, kissing up her legs, over her back. He helped her lay on the bed and he kissed her slowly. "God you're so sexy."

She curled into him, her body still tingling. "That was so fucking hot." She kissed his chest.

He smirked. "You want me to do that more often?"

Olivia moaned. "God yes. But next time have the lube and the towel handy before we start," she giggled and looked up at him. "I love you, Ed Tucker. So much. And I never, ever want to be without you. I never want to know what it is to be without you by my side."

Ed smiled and held her close. "You'll never be without me. I'm not going anywhere. Ever. You're stuck with me forever."

She smiled and ran her hands over his chest. "Good," she kissed him gently. She looked into his eyes. "I'm glad we stood up in front of everyone we know, our friends and family, and professed our love for one another. I'm sorry it took us this long, so many fights."

He kissed her forehead. "I'm not." He saw her raise an eyebrow. "Okay, I'm sorry about the fights, they were my fault anyway. But Liv, I'm not sorry it took us as long as it did."

Olivia smiled. "Takes two to tango. They weren't all you. I escalated them. But sometimes I just want to take you by the shoulders and shake you, Ed. I love you immensely, but sometimes you don't think before you speak. Or you think with the wrong head, you let jealousy get the best of you. I love how much you love me. But I fight dirty Ed. And I know I do. Especially if my feelings get hurt. I get passive aggressive, and it's not okay. And I'm sorry. I'm trying to be better. I promise you."

Ed ran his hand over her side. "Liv, I push you into that, and I'm sorry. We can argue, we can disagree, but we need to fight fair. I need to not play on your emotions, because I know how badly and how easily you can be hurt, even if you don't want to show it. Even if you don't want to believe it yourself. You're so strong, and I think sometimes I think that because you're so strong my words won't hurt. I never ever want to hurt you, I never want you to think that I don't love you, I never want to be the reason you cry. I want to be the one who wipes your tears away."

She caressed his face. "And you are." She took his hand in hers. "I feel like I don't give you enough, I'm not enough of what you want. You ask for so little when it comes to your pleasure. And I took away one of the only things you've ever asked for."

He shook his head. "Liv, no. It's already been discussed. I don't need another woman. I don't need Rita."

Olivia looked into his eyes. "But it gets you off. Her and I."

Ed lifted her chin. "You get me off, Olivia Margaret Tucker. Sure, seeing another woman get you off, hearing you moan when she touched you, sure, it got me off, but it got me off because of you. Not Rita."

She bit her bottom lip. "You promise that you're okay without it?"

He stroked her hair. "Am I okay making love to my wife and and my wife only coming for me for the rest of our lives? Hell yeah I am."

Olivia nodded. "Okay. But if you ever want that again. If you ever want it—" she bit the inside of her lip. "One more time. I could do one more time that we record, and that's it. Then you could watch, relive it."

Ed rubbed her back. "I'll let you know if that day ever comes."

She rested against him. She really did feel guilty about taking the one and only thing he ever truly asked about for his own pleasure. Especially when he'd do anything to make sure she had toe curling, earth shattering orgasms. She ran her fingers over his chest. "Ed," she whispered softly.

He stroked her hair and closed his eyes. "Hmm?"

Olivia smiled. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you so much for always giving me incredible orgasms, for opening my eyes to new experiences, for just— making sure my pleasure is just as important as your own." She kissed his chest.

Ed kissed her forehead. "You don't need to thank me for that. I love making you come. I love giving you all the pleasure I can."

She took his hand in hers. "We should get some sleep, so we can check out on time tomorrow."

He smirked. "Who said we were leaving tomorrow?"

Olivia looked at him. "Ed Tucker." She bit her bottom lip. "Are you telling me—?

Ed smirked. "We have a whole extra night here. And the camera. My birthday is coming up, and the only present I want this year is you."

She smirked. "Oh, Ed. You've got me. Always." She bit her bottom lip. "What do you want to do for your birthday?"

He looked into her eyes. "You." They shared a chuckle. "Really. Let's just have fun. Record it on the camera."

Olivia looked at him. "As long as we can do what we just did again, and get it on camera." She smiled "I think I even brought some toys with me. We can record each other engaged in some solo play." She kissed down his chest.

Ed moaned and felt her stroke him. "Oh, fuck me."

She bit her lip and slipped off the bed, grabbing the camera, walking it over to the bed, turning it on, taking a video of him. "You're so hard baby." She bit her bottom lip. "What are you going to do?"

He looked at her, then at the camera. "You want to watch me make myself come?"

Olivia smiled and nodded. "Oh, yeah baby. Watching you gets me so wet." She looked him him. "You want some dirty talk about how much I love your cock?" She heard him groan and she zoomed in on him, watching him stroke himself. "Ooh stroke that cock baby." She moaned. "Oh yeah. You like that?"

Ed groaned. "Oh, Liv. Oh yeah baby!" He lifted his hips as he started stroking himself harder and faster. "Oh God, I'm gonna come!" Olivia handed him the camera which he turned on her as she took him completely into her mouth, down her throat as she bobbed her head, taking him as deep as she could. "Fuck!" He released in her mouth.

She released him and looked up at the camera letting his release fall from her lips back into his cock, taking him back into her mouth and sucking him clean, licking up under his shaft. "Mm, so good." She massaged her breasts. " You want to watch me fuck my pussy?"

He zoomed out and got her entire body in frame. "Yeah, let me watch you come."

Olivia smiled and lay on her back. "There's a couple of toys in my bag. Go get me one." She smiled. She watched him go through the toys and picked up two. He walked over to her and handed her a plug and a dildo. She smirked and got on her hands and knees, turning her ass to face him. "Put the plug in?" She smiled watched him add lube to the plug, feeling him tease her before he pushed it inside her. She moaned and let her head fall forward as he spanked her. "Mm." She lay on her back, her legs spread as she took the dildo in her mouth, looking at the camera as she rubbed her clit before she pushed the toy inside herself. She moaned and started to fuck herself with the toy. "Oh, Ed! Oh baby!"

Ed smirked. "You like that? That feel good?"

She gasped. "Yeah!" She arched her back and saw him move closer, recording her fucking herself with the toy. "Fuck me," she moaned, feeling him take the toy, using it on her. "Mm, just like that." She gasped feeling her orgasm start to take over. He moved the toy out of the way and started to suck her clit. She took the camera and moaned, the lens down to capture every moment. "Ed!" Her orgasm tore through her body as she collapsed back on the bed. He kissed up her body and took the camera and moved it to the side, the lens facing them as he kissed her slowly.

He pushed his tongue inside her mouth as they kissed languidly. He pulled away and looked at her. "You good?"

Olivia let out a moan. "My body is still tingling," she whispered. She saw him turn the camera off and put it on the nightstand. "That was incredible."

Ed smiled. "You are incredible." He kissed her again. "Turn over, I know you don't like to sleep with plugs in, and you're ready to fall asleep." He watched her roll over. He rubbed her ass and heard her moan, taking to plug out, he licked over her pussy and she gasped.

She looked back at him. "It's too much," she murmured. "I'm still so sensitive," she whispered, feeling his tongue move over her body. "You're going to be the death of me, Ed Tucker."

He helped her roll back onto her back and helped her get situated on the pillow, laying behind her and spooning her. He kissed the back of her head followed by the nape of her neck. "Sleep, baby."

Olivia drifted off to sleep, her arm resting on top of his. She was spent. A few hours later she let out gentle moans, turning in his arms, holding him tightly. "Ed," she whispered.

Ed woke up and looked at her. "Baby?" He heard her moans and he smirked. He kissed her gently, rousing her from her sleep. He met her eyes. "You good?"

She smiled and looked up at him. "My dream was so good," she whispered. "For obvious reasons I have sex on the brain, and that dream," she moaned and pushed him on his back, straddling him. "That dream was so hot baby."

He held her hips. "Yeah?"

Olivia smirked and started grinding into him, moaning. "Mm, so fucking hot," she giggled and kissed him passionately.

Ed kissed her back and rolled her onto her back, kissing down her neck. "You want more?"

She gasped. "Of you? Always." She felt him kiss down her body, starting to suck her clit. He lifted her hips as he pushed his tongue inside her. She moaned and held the back of his head. "Oh yeah, baby." She arched her back, leaving only her shoulders on the bed. "Oh, fuck me!"

He smirked and moved to suck her clit again, pushing three fingers inside her. "Mm, so wet baby."

Olivia let her eyes roll back in her head. "Right there, oh fuck, right there!" She felt him suck her clit again and she cried out in pleasure. "Ah! I'm gonna come baby. Ooh, fuck!" She felt her orgasm tear through her as his fingers started to pound in and out of her. "Ed!" She felt him slowly bring her down and put her fully on the bed. "Jesus Christ." She pulled in in to kiss him passionately.

Ed smiled and broke the kiss. "I love the way you taste," he whispered. "Think you can go back to sleep now?"

She bit her bottom lip. "I think so, but what about you? Do you need a release, baby?"

He felt her start to stroke him. "Oh, Liv."

Olivia smiled. "Need me to take care of this for you?" She rolled him on his back, leaning in and taking him in her mouth. "Mm," she moved her head, taking him completely into her mouth, her fingernails gently scratching his inner thighs. She felt his fingers tangle in her hair, hearing him groan. She released him and stroked him. "You gonna come for me?"

Ed groaned, feeling her lips back around him, feeling her suck the head of his cock as her hand stroked him, using her tongue. "Fuck! Liv."

She grinned and licked over the tip of his cock. "That's it baby. Come for me." She wrapped her lips back around him, tasting his release. She swallowed, then kissed up to his lips. "Better?" She smiled and kissed him. He rolled them to their sides.

He caressed her face. "Much," he whispered. "How about we get some more sleep? We have all the time in the world tomorrow to keep making each other come. Right now, I want to hold you while we get some more sleep."

Olivia smiled. "Goodnight my love," she whispered.

 **A/N: I still have to figure out exactly where I want next chapter to go. I'm tossing ideas around in my head. Leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay), and I'll see you soon.**


	59. Escapades

**Alright. So this is another smut on smut on smut on fluff and angst towards the end. Rita's back. If that's not your thing skip to the last couple paragraphs, though the last sentence is going to carry over. Enjoy.**

Olivia put on a lingerie set, tied around her body like a bow. She picked up the cupcake she went out and bought earlier and lit the candle. "Ed, you ready?"

Ed was laying on the bed. He hadn't been dressed since they arrived, he had the television on, watching golf tournament. "For what?"

She walked out of the bathroom with the cupcake and she smiled. "To celebrate your birthday, silly," she said seductively.

He looked at her and turned off the television, getting up and moving over to her, feeling his arousal growing. "Jesus, Liv."

Olivia smiled. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday my dear captain. Happy birthday to you," she sang, a glint in her eye. She watched him bow out the candle. "Now, you can eat this like any other cupcake, or you can eat it off my body before you either make love to me or fuck me in that breath taking shower in there," she smiled, pointing to the bathroom.

Ed took the cupcake and took the candle from the frosting, holding the part covered in marshmallow frosting up to her lips, watching her slowly suck it clean, moaning. He smirked and put the cupcake down. "Can I open my present now?"

She thought. "You know, I don't think I brought it with me." She saw him look her over. "Oh, you want to unwrap me?" She smirked. "Well, I can't deny you that now, can I?" She watched as he slowly untied the bow, feeling it fall to the floor.

He picked up the cupcake and put som frosting on her nipples, putting the confection back down. "I'll come back to that momentarily. But first—" he leaned in and started sucking the frosting off her nipples, his tongue flicking over them, her moans going from breathy to gasps and loud exclamations of pleasure. He smirked, his teeth lightly running over her nipple before pulling back and blowing on it lightly. She cried out in pleasure and he smirked. "You like that, baby?" He grabbed her ass and pulled her closer, their chests pressing together. "Get on the bed, on your hands and knees."

Olivia did as she was instructed. She looked back at him. "Come get me," she rasped.

Ed climbed on the bed, behind her as he licked her from behind, hearing her moan. He grabbed the cupcake and took the wrapper off, spanking her before smashing it onto her low back and her ass cheeks, using his clean hand to rub her clit, and finger her dripping wet pussy, he used his teeth and tongue to eat the cake off her body. "Tastes even better on your ass."

She moaned, her hips grinding into his hand and back into his face as he ate his cake. "Mm, Ed!" She gasped, feeling his tongue on her ass made her eyes roll back into her head. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. Yes!" She held his hand in place where it was, fucking her pussy, her orgasm building.

He smirked and continued to eat the cake from her body while his fingers continued to move. He felt and heard her come, and he continued until he'd eaten all the cake, flipping her onto her back, kissing her neck, as he continued fucking her with his fingers. "One more time, baby. One more time and I'll bring you to the shower and clean you up properly," he whispered in her ear.

Olivia's back arched off the bed as her second orgasm ripped through her like football players ripping through a paper banner at a homecoming game. Her moans had turned to screams and her body writhed beneath him. "Ed!" She rode out her orgasm and pulled him in for a passionate kiss, feeling him pull his fingers away she broke the kiss, watching him suck them. Her eyes immediately got dark, filled with pure, unadulterated lust, pulling him into a passionate kiss, feeling him pick her up and wrap her legs around him.

Ed carried her to the bathroom, setting her on the counter. He turned on the water, letting it heat up returning to stand in front of her. "This has been an amazing birthday celebration and it isn't even three in the afternoon yet."

She smiled and ran her hands over his chest. "I take it you've enjoyed it?"

He kissed her. "More than. Come on, let's get you less sticky."

Olivia smirked. "I'm worried about getting you less hard." Just then there was a knock at the door and she smiled. "That must be your other grown up present that we cant open in crying of others." She put her robe on and went to the door, opening it. "Hi. We were just about to continue the fun."

Rita Calhoun smiled. "It's a good thing I got all horny on the way over here then, isn't it?" She shed her trench coat. Rita was standing before Olivia in just her heels.

Olivia gasped and took Rita's hand. "He still has no idea you're here. Come on. Let's have some fun." She led Rita to the bathroom, seeing Ed's erection she smiled, his hand gently stroking himself. "Oh, Ed-" she said in a song songy tone. She saw him turn around and his jaw dropped. "Happy birthday," she whispered and looked at Rita. "And today, since we're celebrating your birthday, you tell us what you want to see, feel. We want to fulfill your every desire. We want to cater to you baby. Anything you want today, anything."

Ed looked between the two women, stepping closer and kissing Olivia gently, followed by Rita. He pulled Olivia in and soon they were all kissing, before Ed backed away and watched their bodies arch into each other, Olivia cradling Rita's face, their mouths open wide so their tongues had room to explore. Ed stroked himself and groaned.

Olivia broke the kiss and took her husband and the woman who was becoming her lover, into the shower, shutting the door the steam quickly filling the large shower stall that was big enough for all three of them, their rendezvous, and the still had room to spare. Olivia smiled and looked at Rita. "Kneel," She said seductively. "Ed won't tell you, but I know he wants to fuck your tight little pussy while you suck my clit."

Ed and Rita were both shocked. Ed spoke first. "Liv, we don't have to, I promise it's okay."

Olivia shook her head. "I know at the end of the day you're mine. I know at the end of the day that you love me, and that this is all pleasure. I'm okay with it. I promise."

Rita looked between the two of them. "I have a solution. How about you just fuck my ass? Same effect, and the only pussy Ed fucks is yours."

Ed looked at her. "I thought you hated it?"

Rita shrugged. "I've never actually done it before. If Olivia is willing to let you fuck me, I'm willing to try this. I don't want to be the cause of a fight between you two. Not this soon after your vow renewal."

Ed nodded. "I'll get the lube," he smiled and walked into the bedroom.

Olivia, meanwhile sat up and looked at Rita. "You don't have to, if this isn't something you're comfortable with, you don't have to. I'm fine with him fucking you."

Rita sat next to Olivia and smiled. "I'm okay with it. I have to tell you, being a part of a threesome, being with you, has opened me up to sexual experiences I never thought I'd have. I never thought I'd suck a clit. I was quite vanilla before that first time, Olivia. But now, I want to try what I can when it comes to sex. We'll see if I hate it. If I do, we go back to plan A, we're in the shower so we don't have to worry about the inconvenience of him washing up before he moves to my pussy. I'll suck your clit and make you come and then we can let him go back and forth in both of us, on our knees, while we kiss. Then he can come in you. Not me."

Olivia smiled. "Thank you." She took Rita's hand and kissed her knuckles, looking into her eyes. She leaned in and kissed her slowly.

Ed walked back in, lube in hand, seeing them sitting together and kissing. He was mesmerized, only the dropping of the lube on the floor after it slipped out of his hand broke them apart, startling them. "Sorry," he picked the bottle back up and walked over to them, kneeling down. "What'd I miss?"

Olivia smiled. "Me telling Rita that if she's uncomfortable she didn't have to let you fuck her ass. We got talking about how she's become more open sexually. We planned it out. We just kissed."

Ed smiled and kissed Olivia passionately. "I love you Liv. So much."

Olivia's eyes sparkled. "I love you too. More than anything." She bit her bottom lip. "Now, let's have some more fun." Olivia lay on her back, Rita got on her knees in front of her and Ed knelt tall behind her.

Rita looked back at him. "Gentle at first."

Ed smiled and put lube on his cock and put some on Rita's ass. "Trust me?"

Rita nodded. "Let me feel it." She was relaxed, he slowly pushed into her ass and Rita let out a moan. She turned back to face Olivia and bent the Lieutenant's legs, leaning in and licking up her slit, pushing two fingers inside her.

Olivia moaned and looked down at Rita as she started to suck on her clit. "Oh, my God!" She felt Rita add another finger and she gasped, gripping Rita's hair. "Fuck!"

Ed was moving inside of Rita at a steady pace, their moans made him want to move faster, harder, but he told Rita he'd be gentle. This was new to her, he didn't want to push. "Ah, shit, Rita, your ass is so tight!"

Rita smirked and looked back at Ed as she kept her fingers moving inside of Olivia, her hips moving back to meet Ed's. "Oh, Ed. So good," she turned her attention back to Olivia, her tongue flicking over her clit, hearing her moan. "Another finger?"

Olivia nodded, and felt Rita put another finger inside her, moaning loudly, her walls clenching around Rita. "Oh, my God! Rita!" She moaned, feeling the other woman's lips wrap around her clit, sucking and letting her tongue run over it.

Ed was watching Olivia, seeing her orgasm start to build. He groaned as she writhed beneath Rita. He spanked Rita and she moaned in response, sending vibrations through Olivia's body. "That's it Rita. She's so close."

Rita looked up at Olivia and momentarily pulled her fingers from Olivia and grabbed the lube, putting some on her hand and on Olivia's pussy. "Want to try my whole hand?"

Olivia's body was in overdrive. "I'm so fucking close, Rita. Just— please do something!" She felt her push her fingers and thumb inside her slowly. Olivia pushed herself up, her mouth falling open. "Oooh!" She felt her slowly start to move her fingers inside her. She fell back onto her elbows and let her head fall back. "Oh, just like that, Rita! Oh, yes!" Her orgasm starting to wrack her body.

Ed groaned and gripped Rita's hips, keeping his pace, hearing both women moan, scream and cry out in pleasure. He spanked Rita before reaching around and rubbing her clit. "Come on Rita."

Rita was bringing Olivia down, letting her ride out her orgasm. Rita felt her orgasm take over her body and she arched her back, feeling Ed pull her hair. "Ed!" She rode out her orgasm and he pulled out of her. Rita kissed up to Olivia's lips and turned around, both women looking at Ed, watching him wash his cock.

Ed looked at both of them and they got on their knees, they both licked up his cock and while one sucked his balls, one took his length fully into their mouth, and then they switched. He groaned and released in Rita's mouth. She knelt high over Olivia, letting it fall into her waiting mouth before they shared a kiss, swapping his release between them before swallowing.

Olivia looked up at Ed and smiled. "Come, sit." She sat him down in between them and she kissed his neck, up to his ear. "All for you," she whispered, feeling his hand on her back. "Mm," both Olivia and Rita cuddled up next to Ed.

Ed looked over at her. "Thank you," He whispered. "For changing your mind about doing this again."

Olivia smiled. "I realized that I have nothing to be jealous of. Because you love me, and that's all I want. Your love."

Rita looked over at them. "Thanks for inviting me over, Olivia."

Olivia took her hand and laced their fingers together. "I'm glad you made it." She leaned over Ed and kissed her gently, before kissing Ed. "We should eat something," she stated matter of factly.

Ed gripped Olivia's ass. "Room service?"

Olivia smiled. "I certainly don't plan on wearing any real clothes tonight. That was just round one," she giggled and stood up, moving so she was sitting next to Rita, wrapping her arm around the woman. "We have a few more things up our sleeves for you," she smirked.

Rita smiled between Ed and Olivia. "Damn right we do. I brought something for us to use. It's in my bag," She caressed Olivia's face. "I think you'll particularly like it."

Ed watched them. "I swear the two of you—"

Olivia smiled. "You love it." She smiled and turned off the water. Helping Rita and Ed up, feeling them both kiss her neck. She moaned. "Mm, we need food first. Plenty of time for more orgasms later."

Rita ran her hand over Olivia's body. "You're just too sexy for words."

Ed was enthralled by them. He watched them interact and he couldn't help but smile. "You two are simply incredible."

Olivia blushed and kissed Ed softly. "And today, we're all yours," she whispered against his lips.

Ed looked at her. "Only today?"

Olivia grinned. "I'm yours for life, baby." She ran her hands over his chest. "Now, what do you want for dinner?"

Ed held her hips and smiled. "Aphrodisiacs?" He kissed her gently.

Olivia smiled. "Arugula salad with avocado and maybe some chili oil dressing to start and then maybe some pasta with basil pesto and chicken? Finish off with something Chocolate?" She saw Rita come over and smile. "That you can lick off our bodies?"

Rita smirked. "I think that sounds perfect." She stood behind Olivia and gently massaged her breasts. "Not that I think any of us need aphrodisiacs, but I'll gladly try it, see what happens."

Olivia gasped and moaned softly. "Three meals loaded with aphrodisiacs coming up. Let me order and then we can tease." She walked over to the room phone and called in their room service order. She walked back over to see Ed and Rita talking. She kissed Ed's back and smiled. "Whatcha talkin' about?"

Ed smiled. "You, mostly. Our plans for later," he whispered. "How much we both love making you cry out in ecstasy."

Rita smiled and moved towards Olivia. "And how much Ed loves watching us, especially when we kiss."

Olivia bit her bottom lip. "Is that so?" She saw Ed nod. "Well, we can't deprive you of watching us kiss, now can we?" She turned and looked at Rita, brushing her hair out of her eyes. She cradled Rita's face and kissed her passionately, slowly, running her fingers over her throat, and down to her chest.

Rita kissed her back, massaging Olivia's breasts and gripping her ass. She broke the kiss and looked at Olivia, feeling Olivia's hands on her breasts, rolling her nipples between her fingers. "Oh, Liv. Mm."

Ed's eyes were glued to them, he couldn't look away, not that he wanted to. His arousal was beginning do become noticeable. "Goddamn."

Olivia walk over to him, Rita not face behind. "You like when I kiss Rita? When I make her come all over?"

Rita smiled. "You like when we fuck each other and moan so loud?"

Ed groaned. "I'm not going to make it to after dinner if you keep teasing like this."

Olivia smirked and turned to Ed. "You really want us to stop?"

Ed smirked. "I never said that, just that my next release would be, likely before dinner even gets here, if you keep that up."

Rita smiled. "And that's a problem?" She asked, her hands running over Olivia's body, ending at her wet slit. "Ooh, so wet, Liv." She gently rubbed her clit.

Olivia moaned softly. "Mm." She held onto Rita. "What did you bring with you?"

Rita grinned and moved to get her bag, taking out three toys. "Just a few more things to make Ed come just by watching."

Olivia looked at the bed, seeing a strapless strap on, a hitachi vibrator, and a double headed dildo. "Oh, this is going to be so much fun."

Ed groaned. "Jesus." He took himself in his hand, stroking.

Rita smiled and picked up the strapless strap on, looking at Ed. "Want me to fuck Olivia with this?" She saw Ed nod. Because it vibrated, she turned it on and put it inside her, moving towards Olivia walking her around the bed and bent her over, licking her fingers and rubbing her pussy from behind. "So fucking wet." She pushed the dildo inside her and started fucking her.

Olivia gasped and moved her hips back, meeting Rita's. The vibrations felt incredible. Her hips moved between thrusting back towards Rita and grinding her clit on the bed. "Oh, yeah. Fuck me! Harder."

Rita's she's were locked with Ed's, her hips moving harder. She moaned. "Oh God!" She pulled Olivia up and she massaged her breasts. "Look at Ed," she whispered.

Olivia moaned and stared into Ed's eyes. "Rita!" She moaned feeling her one hand move to her clit, rubbing it in pace with her thrusts. She felt Rita lift her leg, resting it on the bed. Her eyes widened with the change of position. "Oh, right there. Just like that!" Her orgasm tore through her body. She spun around and moved over, away from the bed. She dropped to her knees and took the dildo in her mouth, down her throat. "Mm."

Ed groaned. "Jesus Christ!" He closed his eyes. When he opened them again, what he saw had him ready to come. Olivia had taken the strap on out of Rita's body, turning it off and they'd moved to the side of the bed facing Ed. Rita's legs were spread wide and Olivia was kneeling on the floor licking and sucking her pussy, leaving Rita moaning like crazy.

Olivia pushed her fingers inside her as she sucked her clit. She gently pulled away and felt spanked her clit, hearing her moan. "Mm, you like that?" She asked as she gently rubbed her clit before going back to sucking her clit and pumping her fingers in and out of her. Rita's back arched as her orgasm took over. Olivia took Ed in her mouth, sucking the tip gently, and within moments he released in her mouth. Olivia stood up and pulled Rita up to a sitting position and kissed her, sharing Ed's release. Just as they finished there was a knock at the door.

"Room Service!"

Ed threw on boxers and brought the cart in, seeing the two women kissing softly, Olivia bringing Rita down slowly, she ran her hand over her side. Ed couldn't help but smile. Rita looked dazed, her body still jerking from her force of her orgasm, but there was a smile on her face. "Dinner's here."

Olivia looked at him and smiled. "That smile," she looked back at Rita and stroked her hair. "You okay there, Rita."

Rita looked at her and smiled. "That was just an incredible orgasm." She chuckled and sat up. All three are their dinner and had some wine, feeding each other occasionally. "This is fun."

Olivia smiled and took a bite of chicken. "What, the eating or the sex?"

Rita looked at her and shrugged. "All of it."

Olivia took another sip of her wine. "It is fun." She looked at what they sent up for dessert. "Well, they sent truffles, we can't really smear that all over each other but we can feed them to each other. Like strawberries." Ed helped clean up and Olivia brought the truffles over. "Okay, birthday boy, she pushed him down on the sofa and straddled him, taking a truffle between her fingers. "Chocolate?" She asked and saw him slowly open his mouth and she moved the truffle forward, having him take a bite. She smiled and pressed her naked body against his, having him take the rest of the chocolate in his mouth. She licked her fingers and looked at Ed. "Oh, you have a little right there." She leaned in and kissed his lips her tongue running over his lips where the chocolate was. "Mm, tasty."

Rita watched them and she almost felt bad for looking, like she was intruding on an intimate moment. She heard Olivia calling her name and she looked at her. "What?"

Olivia looked concerned. She'd seen that far off look before. "You alright? Where'd you go?"

Rita blushed. "I just, I was looking at you and Ed and I felt like I was intruding."

Olivia was wary, but she knew if Rita was going to disclose anything, it would be in her own time. "You're not intruding," she smiled. "You want some chocolate?"

Rita smirked. "As long as you sit in my lap." She watched Olivia take a truffle and straddle her. Rita gripped Olivia's hips as the Lieutenant held the chocolate up to her lips. Rita took a bite, their eyes locked. Olivia gave her the rest of the truffle and kissed her. "Mm."

Olivia felt Rita grip her ass and she smiled. "So good." She felt Ed behind her, turning to look at him. "See something you like, Captain?" She climbed off of Rita, staying in her knees, facing away from Ed, gripping the back of the couch, she watched Rita do the same. She felt his hand on her ass, but heard his hands come down on both their asses, both moaned.

Ed looked at the two women before him, sharing a kiss until they broke apart to moan, pushing his fingers inside both of them. "I wish I had some kind of genetic mutation where I had two cocks right now."

Olivia moaned. "You want us to come together?" She noticed Rita was silent. She looked over. "Ed, stop!" Rita looked distant. "Rita, Rita, honey," she shook her gently.

Rita gasped and looked around, embarrassed she ran off to the bathroom. "I'm sorry!" She called.

Olivia saw Ed get up to go after her but she stopped him. "I got her, you put on some boxers." Olivia slipped into her robe and grabbed a pair of sweats and a tee shirt. She walked over to knock on the door. "Rita? It's Olivia. Can I come in?" She saw the door open and she closed it behind her, seeing tears running down Rita's face. Olivia put the clothes on the counter and wrapped Rita tightly in her arms, stroking her hair. "Shh, shh, shh. It's okay. You're safe now," she whispered softly.

Rita looked up at Olivia. "I'm sorry I ruined his birthday. I didn't mean—"

Olivia smiled and wiped Rita's tears away. "Hey, it's not your fault. You didn't ruin anything." She handed her the clothes and let her get dressed. "You want to talk about it? It can be just us, Ed doesn't have to know."

Rita shook her head. "I should leave. You two enjoy—"

Olivia put a hand on her shoulder. "Rita Calhoun. If you think I'm letting you walk out of here after you just had some sort of reaction, you're delusional." She put the toilet lid down and sat Rita on top of it. "The option wasn't talk or leave. It was talk in here, just us, or talk out there, with all three of us. I need to know what just happened."

Rita took a deep breath. "It started when I was thirteen—"

 **A/N: I wrote _THIS_ version in less than a day. It was originally all CalTuckson (is that a thing? I made it a thing. Okay. Cool.) but I wasn't happy with how it came out, so I deleted everything but the first sentence and started from there. Next chapter will be the final chapter of Desire. And it won't be smutty. I have more papers to write for school, so it may be a bit before I update (I always say that and update the next day), but Ilol update Pretty Woman first and then finish Desire. And then I'll make a new story, I'm thinking maybe 2 years down the line. Also, YAY SVU21! Leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay). **


	60. On the Table

**Alright. I wasn't planning where this went. It just happened. Rita is still here, look away if you must. Make sure to read the author's note at the end though. Important stuff.**

Rita took a deep breath. "It started when I was thirteen—" she bit her lip and felt tears in her eyes. "My parents were divorced. It really took a toll on my mom, she got really paranoid and didn't trust the world, so I was thirteen and still had a babysitter. Her boyfriend would come over and they'd have sex in front of me. One day, I was in a dress, looking out the window waiting for my mom to get back while they had sex not too far from me. He snuck up on me and he pushed his fingers inside me from behind. He said I was so wet, and I didn't know what was, he called me a dirty slut. And he raped me. I orgasmed, I didn't even know what that meant. But he called me a slut again, asking why I'd been holding out on him all these months, because I obviously wanted it if I orgasmed." She shrugged. "It only happened once. I told my mom and she fired the babysitter. I threw myself into my studies. I stopped wearing makeup. I stopped caring about how I looked. Until college, that whole 'slut' thing came back to my mind, and I lived up to it. I would fuck any guy who even looked at me. Including Deans, Professors. I always wondered about having sex with a woman, I just… didn't. And then after law school, I stopped having wild sex, I stopped sleeping with everyone. I had missionary position sex with the occasional bout of oral sex." She let out a breath. "Until you and Ed." She looked at her.

Olivia pulled Rita closer and held her. "Rita you're not a slut. Not in college or law school, not now, and certainly not when were thirteen. What he did to you was not your fault, and spontaneous orgasm happens. It's a physiological response to touch. That's all." She lifted her chin. "You're a survivor Rita. I'm so sorry we triggered you, we never, ever meant—"

Rita shook her head. "You didn't know. You couldn't have known." She smiled. "Liv, I—" she gave a small smile. "You're the first woman I've ever kissed," she touched Olivia's lips softly. "The first woman I've ever had sex with." She ran her hands over Olivia's shoulders. "You made me realize, I've wanted this for a long time."

Olivia looked at her. "Rita—"

Rita cut her off. "I'm not confessing my love for you. I'm just— you helped me realize something about myself, something that's always been there."

Olivia smiled. "Let's go talk to Ed before he loses his mind. We'll talk, okay?" She smiled. "You're alright?"

Rita smiled and nodded, caressing Olivia's face. "Yeah, I'm okay." She kissed Olivia tenderly. Olivia kissed back and smiled pulling away.

Olivia caressed her face. "Let's bring that out to the bedroom." She took Rita's hand and brought her into the bedroom, smiling at Ed. "We're back."

Ed looked at them. "Everything alright?"

Olivia smiled and let Rita stand in front of her and wrapped her arms around the woman in front of her. "Mhm," she kissed Rita's cheek.

Rita smiled. "Sorry about that, just bad memories from the past." She looked back at Olivia. "Now?"

Olivia smiled. "About what you told me about… or about what happened?"

Rita smiled. "What I told you."

Olivia nodded. "Now," she said softly.

Ed looked at them. "What's going on?"

Rita looked at him. "After I explained why I got triggered, I told Olivia about my past history. About my wild college and law school years, and then about my rather vanilla life after. I told her how she was the only woman I'd ever kissed, ever had sex with. And how it made me realize what I've known all along. I'm bisexual. And uh— both of you have helped me realize that."

Olivia smiled and stepped out from behind Rita. "She kissed me and I suggested we bring it out here in case it got heated," she smirked.

Ed walked over to them and kissed them. "You know I don't have to watch every time, if you two wanted to explore each other by yourselves—"

Olivia looked at him and shrugged. "I didn't want you to feel like I was cheating on you."

Ed smiled. "I know you wouldn't, baby. I know you love me."

Rita smiled at them. "So, I don't want this to be the last time we do this." She said gently. "I have too much fun with you two. It feels… right."

Olivia smiled and kissed her gently. "Who says this was the last time?" She ran her hands over Rita's arms. "I don't want it to be either."

Rita looked into her eyes and closed the space between them. She slowly kissed Olivia, their tongues meeting. Rita kept the pace slow, untying her robe, running her hands over her body, pulling her close. They both moaned. Rita backed her against the wall, nipping gently at her bottom lip.

Olivia moaned and ran her hands over Rita's chest. She broke the kiss and looked into her eyes, caressing her face, slowly walking her back towards the bed. She kissed her softly, taking off Rita's clothes, letting her robe slip off her body. She moved their bodies closer together and kissed her again. "You're so beautiful, Rita."

Rita smiled and blushed. "I don't hold a candle to you." She sat on the bed and watched Olivia sit next to her. She pulled Olivia on top of her and they kissed again. While both were naked, neither tried to move it along any further than kissing. Both women smiled as they kissed, gently nibbling on the other's lips.

Olivia giggled as they kissed, feeling Rita's hand grip her ass. She broke the kiss and looked down at Rita, a smile, feeling Rita's hand come down on her ass. "Ah!" She bit her bottom lip. "Have I been a naughty girl?" She smirked and caressed her cheek. "You gonna punish me?" She asked in a whisper.

Rita grinned. "You want me to? I'll fuck you so hard Liv. I'll make you come all over, and I'll let Ed lick your pussy clean." She gripped her ass with both hands, feeling their clits grind together. "Oh, shit!"

Olivia bit her bottom lip and moaned. "Rita, oh God!" She felt Rita suck her nipple, rolling the other between her fingers. "Oh, ah!" She slowed her hips and took a sharp inhale of breath. "Yeah, just like that. Mm-hmm." She whined and looked into Rita's eyes. "Come on baby, come on my pussy. I'm so close baby." Olivia reached between them and pushed her fingers inside Rita.

Rita arched her back and did the same, both of them fucking the other with their fingers, and before long they were screaming in pleasure, riding out their orgasms. "Fuck, Liv!"

Olivia curled up next to Rita, kissing her softly. "Mm," she broke the kiss and looked up at Ed feeling him crawl in bed behind her. "I like this," she whispered. "Falling asleep next to both of you. Getting to kiss both of you. Getting to touch, and taste both of you," she kissed the back of Rita's neck. "I never thought I'd like having sex with two people. With a woman. I never thought I was the kind of person who liked this." She smiled and looked at Ed. "Thank you. I never would have suggested a threesome, especially not with a woman. But God, I agree with Rita. This feels, normal."

Ed draped his arm around both women. "I could get used to this, you know? The three of us." He held them tight. He kissed Olivia's shoulder. Olivia kissed the nape of Rita's neck.

Rita smiled. "I'm glad I'm not alone."

Olivia smiled. "You're definitely not," she whispered. "You're the only woman I've ever been with, too, Rita. I couldn't see myself being with any other woman."

Ed ran her hands over both their thighs. "I'm so glad that I get to be a part of it, because the two of you are so incredibly sexy together, and I love the way you get me off."

Rita turned in Olivia's arms and smiled. "I love getting both of you off.

Olivia smirked. "Ditto." She smiled, feeling both Ed and Rita start to touch her body. "Mm." She took Rita's hand and laced their fingers together. "Rita," She said gently. "Ed," she sat up and sat on her knees. "You both need to hear this." She took a deep breath. "It's something that's been on my mind for a while now, and with Rita doing it, it's— it's time I did too. I'm bisexual, too. I always suspected, but never acted on it. Unless you count the flesh light." She shook her head. "Maybe that's why this feels so comfortable." She let out a breath and smiled. "I don't want these meetings between us to stop."

Ed sat up and kissed her gently. "Whenever you want. All I ask is that if it's without me, you let me know."

Olivia smiled and cradled his face in her hands. "I will never go behind your back. Never."

Rita knelt next to Olivia and smiled. "I won't let her not tell you. I know how deeply you two are in love. I don't want to come between that. You have a family, two kids. If this is going to ruin your marriage, then we only do this as a group."

Olivia smiled at Rita. "Agreed. Ed you don't have to tell me it's okay to be with Rita without you if it isn't. It's you and me against the world baby. It has been for some time now. I don't want anything to jeopardize that. I am madly in love with you. And if that means only having sex with Rita while we're in a group, so be it."

Ed sat up and saw them crawl on either side of him. "Liv, this is new for both of us. We don't know, we have to communicate. Right now, I'm okay either way, but we have to keep talking. And we, you and I, still need to be a priority."

Olivia nodded. "I can't imagine us, our family, not being number one in my life." She turned to Rita. "My husband, my kids, they come first. I really enjoy being with you, but it won't come at the expense of my family."

Rita nodded. "I don't want it to. Olivia, we haven't always been friends. And now we're more than just friends hanging out, we're having sex with each other. I care about you, Olivia. I care about Ed. I won't be the reason you split, I won't be the reason your kids grow up with divorced parents. I've been a lot of things, but I won't be a homewrecker."

Ed looked at both of them. "So, we're all on the same page?"

Olivia smiled and nodded. "Yeah," She bit her bottom lip and looked between her husband and her lover. "I think I have an idea that may be just, sexy enough to get all of us off. If you two would be up for it. If not— well, we have to do something about this," she whispered, stroking Ed's cock and moaning. "You two want to try?" She asked, her eyes dark with lust. She saw them both nod and she straddled Ed's thighs, instructing Rita to straddle his abdomen, facing her. They both leaned back on their hands, rubbing their pussies on his cock. "Oh!" She gasped.

Rita groaned. "Shit!" She pushed herself up and kissed Olivia, they groaned as their pussies continued to grind on Ed and each other. "Fuck, That feels good.

Olivia gasped. "Mm, come on Ed. Oh, you want us to come on your cock and suck it off?" She was beyond aroused, she was ready to explode. She felt her body start to shake. "I— Ah!" She cried out, her orgasm coming out of her in torrents, Rita's release was hot on her heels. "Fuck!" They both climbed off him and started sucking him clean, their tongues meeting, kissing hard, here and there. Finally, she took Ed completely down her throat, feeling his hips thrust into hers a few time before he released in her mouth. Olivia hungrily kissed Rita, sharing his release.

Rita moaned and broke the kiss before she lay next to him. "Mm." She kissed his chest.

Olivia lay on his other side and kissed him passionately, her orgasm still pulsing through her body. She whimpered. "Mm, baby." She bit her bottom lip. "Oh, that was so good."

Ed grinned and stroked her hair. "You're insatiable, baby. Not that I'm complaining."

Olivia was panting. "Only for you two. You bring out something in me. And I fucking love it."

 **A/N: Okay, we've reached the end of Desire. A new story will be coming soon. I've come up with a compromise, because I really enjoy writing this threesome, the new story I write and publish on FF will be threesome free. The one that includes CalTuckson will be published on AO3. In the meantime, Pretty Woman is due to be updated. I have 3 papers to write and a final project to start before April 12th. So, yeah. Such is life. Leave a review, here or on Twitter (couricshargitay) and I'll see you in Pretty Woman and in a new story! Thank you for sticking with me on this one, the first multi chapter story I've ever completed.**


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